The Daily Panel

Pet future

noreply@blogger.com (Arkholt) — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 23:27:00 +0000

Pooch Cafe:

Or it could be robot insects. They exist. So do robot dogs. I don't think Poncho will have to wait very long. This doesn't mean that humans will be extinct, of course. It just means we won't be in charge anymore. Most likely we'll still think we're in charge, but we won't be.

It's also possible that this is currently the state of things. How would we know?

St. Patricks Day subs!

noreply@blogger.com (Arkholt) — Thu, 17 Mar 2011 14:06:00 +0000

Yeah, you heard me.

Grand Avenue:

False. Double false.

F-Minus:

The sub is actually quite a bit longer, but they started at the other end and weren't able to get any farther than the current farthest end. What a waste.

Food Chain

noreply@blogger.com (Arkholt) — Wed, 16 Mar 2011 22:55:00 +0000

Ziggy:

Indeed. No need to worry about the small, cowardly bald man being at the top of it. Forget that fish. Just because you're supposed to be slightly below the human on the so-called "food chain" doesn't mean you have to be. Go on, eat him. You know you want to.

Dog eating habits

noreply@blogger.com (Arkholt) — Mon, 14 Mar 2011 15:29:00 +0000

Marmaduke:

What Marmaduke doesn't know is that the girl isn't pouring salad dressing on the grass. It's actually her dad's dandruff shampoo. She's obviously trying to murder Marmaduke. What the little girl doesn't know is that Marmaduke can never die. He'll probably eat her for trying to kill him, too, while the other little girl watches in horror.

Should have stayed safe and just given him dog food.

Cat psychiatry

noreply@blogger.com (Arkholt) — Sat, 12 Mar 2011 17:29:00 +0000

A cross-post from The Daily Comics Review, which I also write on from time to time. I quite liked what I came up with, so it's here, too.

Today, two panels dealing with... well, you'll see. Also a couple more that don't deal with that. How vague indeed.

Heathcliff:

...and how incredibly awesome it is, and how you need to grow it out more. Unfortunately, to properly pull off the look, you will need to get a top hat, a monocle, or both. A cowboy hat may also work, but then you'll need to get a fake sheriff badge as well.

Moderately Confused:

"Well, I've been continuously beaned by bricks since I was a small child, and I think it's messed with my head a bit. I actually started to like it. Yes. I hate to say it, but... I think I've developed a brick fetish. So, yeah. I think... yeah, that's probably why they call me Krazy.

It could also be because that's my first name."

"Great, good. Now, let's move on to your gender confusion..."

The Buckets:

Time to learn some tricks that don't involve the audience. Or better yet, if you have an uncooperative audience, make sure that you have your magic death box with you, either the one that you can saw people in half with or the one you can stick a bunch of swords into.

Chuckle Bros.:

I could've guessed that in one note. I mean, the first twang of the banjo just gives it away immediately.

Three, yes, three of 'em. THREE OF 'EM.

noreply@blogger.com (Arkholt) — Wed, 16 Feb 2011 15:30:00 +0000

I wasn't sure if I wanted to put them all into a single post, so I just went ahead and did it anyway.

Home and Away:

The other reason he went to college was obviously to learn Latin. No househusband can do his job properly unless he speaks at least a smattering of Latin. I mean, how else can he properly argue on the Internet without knowing the Latin names for all of those logical fallacies (I'm looking at you, post hoc ergo propter hoc)?

Cow and Boy:

Next to some... landed in some... some... some what? Dog poo? Nah, cow pie probably. Come on, Cow, you should know better than to leave your pies lying everywhere.

B.C.:

You know, I really have to give this one to him. She's always like that. Everything appears to be normal.

Fire irony

noreply@blogger.com (Arkholt) — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 01:44:00 +0000

Firony?

Loose Parts:

He's right. In order to achieve minimum irony, he ought to burn the leaves in the middle of the forest, far away from any kind of civilization. Unfortunately, his original configuration achieves maximum safety, since the fire fighters would be right next to him ready to put it out.

Apostrophes

noreply@blogger.com (Arkholt) — Sat, 15 Jan 2011 23:04:00 +0000

Barney and Clyde:

The first and the third panels have apostrophes that just shouldn't be there. The second one, of course, should be moved over to the right, after the "s". I think that particular mistake, dealing with a family name on a mailbox or a sign, is the apostrophe mistake that is committed most often.

If a noun is possessive as well as plural, the apostrophe goes after the "s". Obviously, the Henderson family has more than one member in it, so it should go after the "s," not before. I know this is the case, and it really is a simple rule, but I've actually had arguments about it with people (including my own parents once, which quite surprised me). Even people who use it correctly the rest of the time will slip up when it's a family's name. I don't understand it.

Disposable staplers

noreply@blogger.com (Arkholt) — Fri, 14 Jan 2011 23:23:00 +0000

Agnes:

It is certainly odd that Agnes believes that staplers are disposable. It's even more odd that she keeps the old ones, "knowing" that they are no longer of use to her. This causes me to wonder what other drawers of trash, or believed trash, she has in her room.

Old people.

noreply@blogger.com (Arkholt) — Sat, 08 Jan 2011 15:35:00 +0000

The Norm:

Look, I can understand someone, even a young person, going into a room and forgetting what they went there to do. However, even an old man will know what he went to the mailbox to do, right? He's checking the mail.

I realize, of course, that I'll probably be old someday and I'll be at the mailbox forgetting what I went there for... but the average person ought to remember.

Hell: Now in 3D!

noreply@blogger.com (Arkholt) — Sat, 08 Jan 2011 02:23:00 +0000

The Buckets:

Wow, not only is it like the movie is popping out of the screen, but it's like the kid is popping out of the panel! Now I understand why every movie is in 3D now.

Free Range:

I don't think it's fair that the people in Heaven get to wear fancy robes and have wings and halos, but the people in Hell are completely naked. I guess it does get pretty hot there, though...

Irony

noreply@blogger.com (Arkholt) — Thu, 06 Jan 2011 15:46:00 +0000

Brevity:

Of course, irony had been in use for at least a couple thousand years prior, but no one knew what to call it. Thank you, Heinrick Glaston.

The worth of a bird

noreply@blogger.com (Arkholt) — Thu, 06 Jan 2011 00:14:00 +0000

Off the Mark:

One of the birds is obviously worth half of what the other one is worth. We just have to determine which one is the hand and which one is the bush. It may also help to know which bush each hand came from. Perhaps it would help if there were two bird on one side. Then it would be simple to say which one was the hand and which was the bush, as it would then be balanced.

Or would it? I'm terrible at math. Somebody work this out for me, please.

Monopoly

noreply@blogger.com (Arkholt) — Tue, 04 Jan 2011 23:22:00 +0000

Farcus:

Not only is free parking not a reality, no one in real life has the rule that you can collect $500 whenever you happen to get some.

Clowns and recliners

noreply@blogger.com (Arkholt) — Mon, 03 Jan 2011 15:34:00 +0000

Broom Hilda:

I hate to say it, but this is slightly disgusting. I don't want to know how the clowns got into the outhouse, and I also don't want to know what they're all doing in there.

PC and Pixel:

Okay, I understand that the man in the recliner is unhappy with his purchase, but shouldn't he go to the hospital first in order to get unstuck? How does he move forward in the line, anyway? More importantly, how did he get there in the first place??

Bird seed, and a New Year's resolution.

noreply@blogger.com (Arkholt) — Sat, 01 Jan 2011 15:25:00 +0000

Close to Home:

Since my web comic is about birds, I couldn't resist posting this one. It seems that this bird seed would be useful for having attack birds that will keep any suspicious people away from your house. I wouldn't spread it around just anywhere, though. The "last year" he mentions could actually be the day before, because it is the new year after all.

Speaking of, anyone who looked at this blog recently might think it was dead. Not so. My New Year's resolution is to actually post in it DAILY. I hope I can do it. Wish me luck.

Incorrect emotions

noreply@blogger.com (Arkholt) — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 22:33:00 +0000

The Amazing Spiderman:

Mary Jane doesn't seem to have the correct reaction to the strange man who is entering her dressing room. She ought to be going "AAAHH!! Who are you and what are you doing in my dressing room??!?!!??!?" However, she is merely going "Hmm? Who are you? Oh, you brought me flowers?"

Of course, she could just be thinking, "Oh, my husband's Spiderman, so this creep must just be some villain who he'll beat up pretty soon."

Dialogue where it shouldn't be

noreply@blogger.com (Arkholt) — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 23:08:00 +0000

Lio:

The comic strip Lio usually has absolutely no dialogue balloons. I say usually, because today Mr. Mark Tatulli has decided to add a dialogue balloon in order for the insult book to insult Lio. Hopefully this doesn't become a trend. I expect it won't, because this is just the only way you could pull off this joke. I was just very surprised to see it today.

A guide to cavemen

noreply@blogger.com (Arkholt) — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 23:04:00 +0000

Ink Pen:

The easy way to tell Fred Flintstone from Tarzan: Fred wears far more clothing. Tarzan just wears the tiny loincloth. Fred wears a fashionable orange tunic with dots, and sometimes a necktie. Fred is definitely far better dressed than Tarzan. He apparently isn't better behaved, however.

noreply@blogger.com (Arkholt) — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 14:22:00 +0000

I'm skipping the intro today. Comic goodness awaits.

Off the Mark:

The play seems to be going well given the circumstances. The kid looks a bit confused, but the rest of them are into it. At least she didn't make him a Cleveland costume.

Baby Blues:

Most parents would name the drawer "The Dangerous Drawer" themselves in order to keep their kids out of it. Of course, that usually makes the kids more curious and they end up getting into it and hurting themselves. If the kids name the drawer themselves, then they're more likely to stay out of it.

The best way to make your kid curious and to get into the Dangerous Drawer and hurt themselves is to have a lock, duct take, and several signs that say "DANGEROUS DRAWER!" and "DO NOT OPEN!"
The best way to keep them out of it is to let them get hurt when they get into it.

Zits:

Controlling the vomiting of your brain is crucial while in school. The proper thing to do is to hold it in and only let it puke onto the test. The answers will all be there in their proper places, though they may be a bit messy and disorderly. Do your best to keep your brain vomit legible, otherwise it will be of no use to you.

Brevity:

As often happens with Brevity, Guy and Rodd are referencing something that's way over my head. The obvious point would be that she's saying that it tastes better if you eat your food in front of prisoners who can't get it. That seems so cruel and awful that it can't be the joke. I know Guy and Rodd have a bit of a sick sense of humor, but I wouldn't have guessed that it's that sick.

Therefore... I have no idea what the joke is. I'm guessing something about MSG and how that abbreviation could be for more than one thing, but I really can't be sure.

I would be offended...

noreply@blogger.com (Arkholt) — Thu, 07 Oct 2010 14:18:00 +0000

...if it wasn't so incredibly true.

The Knight Life:

Of course, a number of folks to write blogs for a living, but they're the ones with real journalism credentials, unlike myself and many others. We just have opinions. Unfortunately, you can't make a living from having opinions.

Old People

noreply@blogger.com (Arkholt) — Thu, 07 Oct 2010 14:07:00 +0000

Flo and Friends:

I like this one because it just seems like a joke that an old person would tell, and would find hilarious. I find it mildly amusing myself, though I think it's something that is far funnier coming out of an old person's mouth.

When fish evolve...

noreply@blogger.com (Arkholt) — Thu, 07 Oct 2010 14:05:00 +0000

Reality Check:

...they become... Swamp Thing, I guess. Either that or a fish-human hybrid. A word to the wise: do not breed with fish if you can help it.

Weekend death and birds

noreply@blogger.com (Arkholt) — Sat, 25 Sep 2010 17:55:00 +0000

Agnes:

I guess I don't know that much about wills, but wouldn't someone as young as her that had real assets need one? Either way, if she felt that four headless dolls and a gum wrapper collection did count as real assets, maybe she should make a will. She seems intelligent enough to be able to consult a lawyer on matters like this. I don't know which lawyers would take her seriously, though. She'll have to shop around.

Rubes:

I wouldn't want to eat that bag of popcorn that she is apparently eating either. I do believe that giving the bird money in order for it to buy food still constitutes "feeding the animals," however.

Disgusting, but fun.

noreply@blogger.com (Arkholt) — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 15:29:00 +0000

Mother Goose and Grimm:

I totally would have picked differently. Krazy Kat's definitely on my team. Snagglepuss is also a definite yes. Oh, and Hobbes. That would make an awesome team.