The Dandy Bandy

NSV alert!!! Color Foam 5k (lots of stinking cute pictures)

2014-05-15T18:38:00.000-05:00

Thanks to an old friend (like since we were 5...girl scout days) I was able to participate in my 2nd 5k of my life!

The last one I went with Cupcake to the Color Run back in October of 2012...so I was 3 months post op. I remember when I got home and my daughter saw me she wanted to go with me to the next one....well...sorry kid...mommy's been broke! lol In walks me old friend. She had bought a ticket for her and her husband to the Color Foam 5k and then he had to work, no refunds BUT you can transfer registration...which she did...to me...for free. Seriously sweet and awesome ya'll.

Soooooo..... Friday when I picked up Kenz we went to Wally world because I told her I had a surprise for her and we had to go get special white clothes. When we got there I finally told her why we needed white clothes and shit you not that kid was jumping up and down like she won the lottery in the middle of Wally world.

Now going into this I told her we would be on her run schedule. Run until she's tired and we will walk. I thought for my crazy, insane, hyper ass child would run me into the ground....

ummmmm.....NOPE! This is about how it went.

Ran for about 4 minutes.
"Mommy i'm ready to walk"
"Ok sweetie"
*7 minutes later*...."Ready to run again?"
"No mommy... I think we need to just walk for now"
*7 minutes later*..."Ready to run kiddo?"
"Umm...yeah!"
*30 seconds later*
"Mommy! I'm too tired...let's walk"

The only time the child would run was when she knew we were close to a foam station....

Ummm....did I just out run my crazy kid? YEEEEPPPPPPPP!!! Sure did...

Not gonna lie...I held my head pretty high...Although, i'm not sure if I should be so proud of out lasting a 5 year old...but dammit I was!!!

It was fun...Not as fun as the color run...but Kenz had an absolute blast "running" with mommy.

OK....now the reason you all clicked on this blog post....PICTURES!!!!

Yeah...we are pretty much too cool for school. Especially that kid.... This was obviously before hitting the pavement :)

Rad pic after the run through the initial foam :)

Direct hit from the water cannons...look at all that cheese...

Look at that sass....

This kid....smh...it never ends....She cracks me up

We did it!!

Before and After!

And Last but not least.....the absolute best picture of the day in my opinion....

Look at the absolute joy on that kids face.....awesome sauce

So...I went Jogging...I believe it's jogging... or yogging. It might be a soft J...

2014-05-05T22:27:00.002-05:00

Sooooo....In my last POST I told you about my trainer Luto breaking the awful, heartbreaking news that on the days i'm not working out with him I need to run...
Like RUN...
Like propel myself forward one leg at a time at a high rate of speed.
You know..like walking...only faster.

Oh crap, did I lose you there?

I know, I know...don't worry, it took me a while to grasp the concept too.

This is totally how I felt....However I just fought back the tears and said "Ok..."

Being someone who at her highest weight was 275 lbs this was a tough pill to swallow.

I've never ran before...
I take that back...
I had to run when I was younger, at football practice...
AAAANNNNNDDDD I puked every.damn.night.

Great...and I was an effing kid back then. What in the world will happen to my tattered 28 year old post massive weight loss body?

I decided I would die.

Don't get me wrong...he told me to run, so I was gonna run...but I was also pretty sure I was most likely going to die, and some poor jogger with the stamina of a cheetah would find my shriveled up mess of a body. That would totes suck, I know I don't want to find a body while I'm getting my fitness on, that's one way to turn a dedicated runner into a paranoid homebody that doesn't leave their house for 6 years because of re-occurring night mares and turns to food for comfort and gains 300 lbs ....
And I can't live with that on my conscious... so I just shouldn't go running right?

No? That's not a legit excuse?

OOOOKKAAAAYYY FFFIIINNNNNEEEEEEE......geeeze....I'll go for a run.

I put on my little workout outfit and laced up my shoes....put my headphones in and cranked that music up as loud as I could so my mind would focus on the music and not the fact that my ass is attempting to run...for the first time...down the sidewalk of a busy street...where people can see my awkward jiggly bits flopping about the sidewalk
And I REALLY didn't want to hear myself breathing.....I didn't even want to imagine what it sounded like....*shivers*

So I started out walking...for about 5 minutes until I built my nerve up to start jogging.

Here goes.....

Hmmmm....So this is running...

I'm thinking in my head "If I can just make it to that tree I think I will be doing great"

I made it to the tree....and...and...and...

KEPT GOING!!!

I couldn't believe it!

I WAS RUNNING!
Like...running!
Like propelingl myself forward one leg at a time at a high rate of speed!
You know..like walking...only faster!

Now don't get too excited, I didn't run for 3 miles or anything... I think I made it through a whole song on Pandora.

But I was just completely and utterly positive I would only make it like 100 feet...or like 25 seconds.

I also walked a lot...

But the amazing thing is....I ran...in spurts maybe...and there was a lot of walking in between...
BUT I DIDN'T DIE!

Yay me! Not dying is a marvelous thing!

It was my first day so I wasn't expecting miracles or anything but holy bajeebus if I didn't impress myself! And realize that I don't give myself enough credit, or believe in myself enough.

Not only did I NOT die.....Just the opposite....I felt absolutely UH-MAY-ZING...
I felt awesome...on top of the world...like I could do anything.

I was red, and sweaty, and huffing and puffing... (the picture doesn't do it justice)
But I felt awesome!

And now? 3 weeks later?
I absolutely love it.
There. I said it.

Who the fack am I? Who is this person?

You guys.....I think I might be a runner....

P.S. That still sounds weird..."Going for a run" or "Just got done with my run"...MY run? MMMYYYY run? Yep....my run :)

OH hey there MOTIVATION! It's about damn time I found you!

2014-05-02T21:23:00.001-05:00

MOTIVATION

The elusive, mythical and mystical creature...

It's kind of like a leprechaun... or Sasquatch...or the Loch Ness Monster.

People talk about spotting it briefly once, on a dark night through the trees. OH WAIT! I THINK I SEE IT!

Nope....just a rock...

I have been searching for what seems like a very long time for motivation. I did so well, for so long after my surgery. I lost over 100 lbs...I was motivated...I followed most of the rules...umm...most of the time lol But I was motivated... I loved seeing that scale go down...down...down...down...and down some more. It was exhilarating, almost addicting.

Then something happened....

Not sure what....
Not sure when....
But it happened....

I started eating shitty.... I started drinking cokes and eating candy bars every day. Thank god my band was tight enough that when I ate actual food, you know nutrition... I couldn't eat much so at least I didn't gain any weight...

But I didn't lose any either. I have yo-yo'd from 153 to 160 for weeks....ok months....
OOOOKKKKK it was like a year! THIS is why I haven't been blogging....
How awesome would a weight loss blog be if all I wrote about everyday was caving in to cravings, drinking 3 cans of coke and eating a butterfinger for breakfast. Probably wouldn't be too inspirational that's for sure.

But that's my fault...and I apologize...SINCERELY...

I promised to give you all of me from the very beginning.... The good, the bad, the ugly.
That's easy to say when it's all good...all gravy...all awesome sauce.
But when you go through a pretty deep winter depression...
eat everything around you...
NEVER exercise....
and lose any glimmer of motivation you had?

Well, it's a lot harder to share that with all these people who tell me I inspire them. Who tell me reading my blog gave them the courage to go ahead with THEIR surgery...
I didn't want to let anyone down...
I felt like I already let myself down and I didn't want to let you all down too.

Now let me backtrack a little and tell you this is how I FELT....not how I FEEL.

How do I FEEL now?

For the first time in a very long time I feel UH-MAY-ZING....

I have found a rainbow shitting unicorn and rode that unicorn all the way to the end and found the pot of gold..... MOTIVATION.

And I know it all comes down to myself and making a decision within myself to give it my all...but I seriously have to give a LOT if not all credit to 1 person.

I met this person through my boyfriend... they have been friends for forever and it happens to be one of the first people I met through my boyfriend. Like the 2nd night we ever hung out. His name is Michael Avelluto but we all know him as "Luto" which is what I will call him on here (unless i'm posting about his business then I will use his full name)

I knew he was a personal trainer...and I have known that for a year and a half now. I just never thought with us all being friends...and you know...me being broke that anything would ever come of that whole thing.

Until one night while we were hanging out I told him all about how I LOVE exercising and that I am so close to my goal weight and I just need to find that X factor to get me going.

Then the words that kinda...well...changed everything.

"Let me train you"

OH SWEET 8 LB 7 OZ BABY JESUS!

Did he just say that?

Get it together here Julie....Pull up your big girl panties and answer the man...

The only response I could muster up in my internal excitement was .... "ummm...DUH...YYYESSSSS!"

SO....boot camp is where I was invited...every Tuesday and Thursday night at 7.

Yup.....soo....boot camp...
SHIT I'm nervous....
261 lb Julie brain started in....I got all self conscious.

But I was so heffing excited I couldn't sleep the night before. The whole afternoon after work waiting for 7 that first Tuesday I did all kinds of things...
I got my scale hooked up to my wifi and got batteries all in it...

YAY ME!

I took some before pictures in my sports bra and underwears.... (yeah, NO CHANCE i'm posting those until I have some progress pics to post next to them!!! Don't want to blind anyone SHEESH!)

I will give you one picture though....

This is right before I left for boot camp.... excited and nervous... I had never been to a boot camp before I had no idea WTF to expect.

OH yeah.... I weighed myself before I went too...
Pretty sure I almost passed out...
163 lbs folks... I choked on my spit.
Not cool... I never wanted to go above 160 again.

But it is what it is. I was starting day 1 of my new adventure and nothing was going to hold me down.

OOOOOHHHHH EEEEEMMMMM GGGEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

I FUCKING LOVE BOOT CAMP!!!

I came home in a pile of jellied noodles on the floor but I was happy...and I felt amazing...
THIS is the feeling I have been yearning for...but I needed guidance.

The next 2 days I could barely walk, or sit, or stand, or function I was so damn sore. But it felt ooohhh so good :)

Thursday came around and I was back at boot camp....Luto was getting excited about my enthusiasm...and so was I. I worked again until I almost puked on my shoes.
And I left feeling aaaaayyyyymaaaayyyyziiiiinnnnggggg again.

I think i'm starting to like this....

And then he told me I needed to RUN on days I wasn't at bootcamp....

I choked on my spit...
Looked at him frighteningly...

"ummm.....Like RUN run?"

"Yeah, like run for 30 minutes every day"

"oh ok..."
*panic...panic...panic*

RUUUUN?!?!?!??!?!
I don't know if you have ever met me sir....but I don't run...
Unless someone is chasing me....with a knife.

And that's where I will leave off because I have a whole new post about running....

Bottom line....things have changed...and i'm beyond excited to see where this takes me....

I'm now finishing week 3 and really seeing results!!!

More to come...PROMISEEEEEEE!!!!!

Big Changes Folks...

2014-01-22T19:48:00.000-06:00

If you follow me on facebook (www.facebook.com/thedandybandy) Then you have seen me eluding to some big changes. I waited to tell you all what the changes were because I wanted to let it all out and show you my slide backwards which I did yesterday, you can read my big EFF YOU'S here.
So now all that is out of my system and off of my shoulders I can tell you about my plan on fixing the problems that developed.

It may not seem big to some.... but it sure is big to me, growing up on southern cooking and comfort foods but the biggest changing I am making in my life...
WAIT...
I think it's important I revise that....I need to give props to my amazingly supportive boyfriend....the biggest change WE are making in OUR LIVES is that we not eating meat... anymore...like none...
I have grown up like most as a heavy meat eater. If there wasn't meat in my meal it wasn't a meal...it was a snack lol I've never eaten tofu... i've never eaten "fake" meat as I call it... You know...looks like chicken...smells like chicken...but it ain't chicken... I think it's soy...

Now I want to make a disclaimer right now so I don't get messages and comments from people about how i'm not doing it right.... we are NOT becoming vegetarians well we are...but not putting a label on it.. we are NOT going vegan... We are simply not eating meat anymore. I'm no longer building every meal around animal protein. We are not cutting out seafood because...well...I love that shit. And there's a lot of health benefits. I'm still eating cheese when I want... I will still make me an egg white omlete every now and then. I'm trying to adapt my tastes to soy milk... it's hard because i've never had it and only had cow's milk. But i'm trying so that's good right? I'm giving the old college try!

I'm ready to learn new things in the culinary world... learn that my plate doesn't HAVE to have meat on it to fill me up and taste good. I'm kind of sick of eating the same things my whole life. Let's see here let's review my menu from oh...about the past 10 years shall we?

1.Spegetti and MEAT sauce
2. BEEF/CHICKEN enchiladas
3. BEEF Sloppy joes
4. CHICKEN tetrazzini
5. CHICKEN stir fry
6. HAMBURGERS
7. ROAST and potatoes and carrots
8. Chilli (with lots-o BURGER)
9.Homemade CHICKEN and noodles
10. Grilled CHICKEN and vegies
11. BRATWURST'S

I could go on but you get the picture... meat meat meat meat... gimme some meat...all day all night.

We have been doing a lot of research and the effects of meat on your body...especially red meat.
Getting the lap-band just makes my diet consist even more of meat...sometimes my meal is literally only a piece of meat since I gotta gets my proteins in. I'm learning that there are other non-meat sources of protein and I am willing to give it a try.

We stocked up on Amy's burritos and meals and Morning star "meats" I also cooked with Quinoa for the first time and I FRIKKEN LOVE IT!! I made southwest quinoa stuffed peppers and they were amazing.

I can't wait to start making some really awesome protein packed meals and posting the recipes!!

Wish me luck!! :)

And here's the way I look at it... I'm doing ya'll a favor!!

Eff this Effing Sh*t!!!!!!

2014-01-16T20:37:00.000-06:00

Seriously...

F*CK.THIS.SHIT.....

I'm done.... I'm effffffffing done!!!

But it's not what it seems.... I promise this is a good thing. I haven't been doing very good lately and I'm making big changes.... So I just want to dish out some EFF YOU's to clear my mind of negativity so I can fill with butterflies and rainbows and shit.

EFFFFFF YOU BRAIN!
Yeah...you... brain you are supposed to be smart.. and adapt... I've lost 100 lbs, WHY YOU NO REALIZE THAT?!?! Why do you insist on bringing me back to old habits from 100lbs ago? Yeah I had some chocolate...big whoop.. well apparently, to my brain it is a big whoop. Let me just narrate a little crazy conversation that goes on in my head....

*Ahem*

Me - Eats a piece of chocolate
Brain - "Mmmmmm....that's good chocolate...buuuuuuutttt...you really shouldn't eat that, you kind of went over your calories for breakfast....soo... you kinda ruined breakfast...sooo... FUCK IT!! EAT ALL THE CHOCOLATES YOUR DAY IS IN THE SHITTER ANYWAY!!!
Me -Eats like 10 more pieces of chocolate
Brain -"Well, might as well have a piece of cake now fatty... and how about a coke... yeah a coke sounds real nice...days already ruined why not just stuff your face until you feel sick. Great job staying on track fatty patty... Maybe we'll start over again tomorrow... or maybe we'll have peanut butter cups for breakfast... because you suck and can't say no. Super fantastic job sucking at life."
Me - steps on scale...1 lb gain
Brain - "REALLY?!?!?! You gotta be kidding me?!? How did this happen? geeze, you should really get a cappuccino at QT... oh and eat some candy... and drink some coke... That will make you feel better.
Me - Does all of the above
Brain - Holy f*ck what have I done... might as well just eat some more.. you're already f*cked.

Umm...yeah...that's real there...I have come a long damn way but I still struggle with negative self talk and snowballs of guilt eating. So speaking of chocolate...

EFFFFFFF YOU CHOCOLATE!!!

You are so creamy and delicious and hard to pass up. Stop being good k? You suck... big ole donkey balls....

EFFFFFFF YOU SODA!!!!

Or "liquid satan" as I like to call it...Why are you so bubbly and yummy and addicting? You too suck my friend...actually you and I are no longer friends. I am un-friending you and blocking you effective immediately.

So now that i've let that all out there are few apologies i need to make... to some old friends that I have left to gather dust.

I'M SORRY WATER!!!!

I have all but abandoned you... you are so wonderful and an integral part of living and being healthy. And I haven't seen you in a hot damn minute. I promise I will start drinking you more often...in fact...every day all day... we are gonna be buds, you and me...

I'M SORRY VEGETABLES!!!!

I haven't seen you in a while my friend... you probably thought I forgot about you... Don't worry..momma's home... I will be devouring you by the truckful.

I'M SOOO SORRY EXERCISE!!!!

Shaun T would have kicked my ass if he knew what I have been doing...which is NOTHING. If you count walking down the stairs to my car exercise then i've mastered that. I promise you will start seeing more of me... starting today... we already had a pretty rough reunion tonight... I ended up on the floor in tears... kind of out of happiness, but mostly because I felt like puking everywhere.

I stepped on the scale this morning and it said 162
ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY TWO
And that's how I came up with this title... because those are the exact words that flew out of my mouth at 6:30 this morning... sure did wake me up though...

I used to wear that?!?

2013-12-28T13:26:00.002-06:00

OK so I finally took some pics of me in my old clothes!!!!

What?!?! I can't believe these used to fit!!! I mean they were even tight! I just can't believe it. The pants literally fell off of me if I didn't constantly hold them up. The shirt is a 2XL...WHAT?!?!?! WTF? wow... it's funny, sometimes I still feel like that's who I am and what I look like. It's fading...but it's still there.

Here's some more pics!!!

The first pic is the night before surgery so 7/11/12 the middle is from 12/17/12 and the last one is from today 12/28/13. WOWZAS!!! it's amazing, truly, This journey never ends...i'm not exactly where I want to be yet...but DAYUMMMM!!!!!

This picture is from my outfit I wore to my office holiday dinner party last night. I never in my wildest dreams would have ever even thought about wearing anything like this 105 lbs ago!

When I look at this picture it feels like i'm looking at someone else. It doesn't seem like me! But it is... and I LOVE IT!!! I am a new person and I hope I never find that old person again! I have so much energy... I can do so much more than I could before and I can wear CUTE ASS CLOTHES!!! This surgery was the best choice I have ever made. It's been a rough road but I have NO REGRETS!!!

TTT - Confessional Style

2013-12-19T18:59:00.003-06:00

Oh hi there!

Remember me?

Dandy? Bandy?

YEAH! The one that hasn't blogged in like 2 months..... That's me...

I have decided to pick a Ten Things Thursday to make my triumphant return.

I wasn't gonna.. I was gonna just keep NOT blogging... but a conversation with my gorgeous friend (and lap-band rockstar) Rebecca who by the way has been a huge friend to me in this journey, convinced me that is the exact opposite of what I need to do.

So without further ado I bring you my Ten Things Thursday Confessional....

1. So... I haven't blogged in over 2 months. Why? Because I did something I said I wouldn't do. I went against why I started this blog in the first place. I have always said that I would share the good the bad and the ugly. My struggles and my accomplishments...but you know what? That's easier to say when there isn't much bad or ugly... when accomplishments outweigh the struggles. My friends I stopped blogging because I was embarrassed. I was mad at myself because I went on a week long sugar ban... and then folded and the opposite happened, i started eating more sugar than ever. Let me just calls em likes I sees em here for a second. I've been a JERK to my lap-band and my goals the last 2 months. How you ask... let's move on to #2.

2. I went 2 months with only drinking about a bottle's worth of water.... TOTAL. Like, no sips of agua...just gave that shit up for some reason.

3. I eat chocolate as meals...whole meals. Like...what's for breakfast today Julie? OH ....6 mini reeses cups, a butterfinger bar and 2 hershey kisses. Fantastic.

4. I ate a whole batch of heath bar cookie dough in 2 days... yep.. 2 effing days. A WHOLE batch I shit you not.

5. I have been drinking regular soda... Like COCA COLA folks! like regular.ass.soda.

6. I haven't been counting calories, protein, making healthy meals, NOTHING. I've been eating a lot of frozen pizza and taco bell. I haven't been using lite sour cream or fat free cream cheese, or wheat noodles. NADA. I've eaten a LOT of chicken tenders and french fries for lunch.

7. I haven't exercised since my last post about Insanity. Nothing... No treadmill...no walks...no kettle bell... ZIP... ZILCH!

8. At this specific point in my life self control has gone out the window. We keep getting lovely gifts like this 10 ton tub of kryptonite.

I could seriously barely carry this monstrosity. Oh and there are only 8 people in my office. How in any universe is 8 people gonna finish half a million pieces of chocolate? And why can't I keep my damn hands off of it?

9. I'm done... i'm done feeling sorry for myself and i'm sick of this snowball of "Eat bad...feel guilty...Eat something bad to feel better...Feel guilty for eating something bad...Eat something bad to feel better" IT.HAS.TO.STOP. and it stops now.

10. You want to know what I have also realized? I got this. I know I have made it sound like I'm eating enough for a football team and it feels like I am... But I'm really not. Yes, I am making terrible choices of what i'm putting in my mouth. But the overall quantity is not nearly as bad as it feels. I haven't had batteries in my scale the past 2 months either so that stress had me DOWN. I was 100% positive I had gained AT LEAST 10 lbs, maybe even 15 or 20. I finally put batteries in my scale... I took a nice, big, deep ass breathe and stepped on, nervous as all hell and what did it say?

156 lbs

I did a double take... That couldn't be right... So I weighed myself again to be sure... After weighing 9 times I finally realized that really was my weight. All that guilt and negative self talk was for NOTHING...literally nothing. I didn't gain a single effing lb. My last weigh in was in September and it was 156.3 lbs. I was absolutely astonished. I couldn't believe it.

PHEW!!! I know now not to play with fire. To love myself and trust myself and not beat myself up. It's amazing how I have lost 105 lbs and my body looks completely different but my mind is still in fat mode.... mean, negative mode when it wants to be. I'm taking this as a lesson learned and I'm moving forward! Thank god i don't have to undo some crazy ass damage on the scale... i'm lucky as shit on that one!

Look for me to be posting more... I HAVE to... the accountability and camaraderie keeps me motivated and focused. I'm no longer going to hide my jerk face moments. I'm going to own them so I can move past them!!!

Here is a throwback thursday pic to see just how far I have come. Here is what 105 lbs gone looks like in my face.

Till next time lovelies. I have lots of pics for you :) and I will do an official weigh in here in the next couple of days to start things back off right!

Ten Things Thursday Oh How I Miss THEE!

2013-10-17T06:58:00.000-05:00

It's been a pretty long time since I did a TTT and that my friends, blows....hard. But here we are and here I go! Brought to you by miss Laura Belle. (p.s. She just went back to work after being home with baby D and she's had a rough few days... ya'all should go give her some love at Beer, Dogs, and Getting Healthier)

1.Week one of Insanity DONE! And I feel absolutely phenomenal, for real. It's crazy and I feel like I'm dying but it's amazeballs. Can't wait to see what week 2 will bring :)

Before and after last day of Week 1 Oh, and ~~SATAN~~ Shaun T :)

notice I'm smiling more?

2. Reached a blog milestone today...

3. Got a little bummed tonight... Not gonna lie... I miss the old "family" life sometimes. I mean it would never work and believe me i'm not thinking about going back, but I can't help but miss the whole "family" thing.

4. Quickly shook that off and found happiness in the now :)

5. Speaking of the kiddos, they are going to their grandmas for the weekend for their annual weenie roast and hayride. This is the first weekend in a very long time that I won't have them and I am going to miss them to absolute pieces. So tonight I am going to go down and have a "slumber party" with them at my grandmas house and take them to school on Friday.

6. Although I will miss my kids this weekend I am looking forward to finally having a weekend to relax. And to spend quality time with my love. We have had 3 out of our 4 kids like every weekend and have NEVER had an entire weekend to ourselves. I see a lot of sleeping, cuddling, movie watching, cuddling... and doing a whole lot of NOTHING!

7. I started taking a magnesium supplement. I love it...I haven't had a single leg cramp since I started taking it and I have been poopin' like a champ! It helps me sleep better at night and just helps me relax. I highly recommend you read about it and consider starting it! It tasted yummy too!

8. I think I got myself into a mess here... I kinda sorta agreed to start a sugar detox with miss Laura Belle. And I keep my word. It all started with her post yesterday which you can read Here. She basically FORCED me to give up sugar with her starting Monday. (Ok, ok, I may be exaggerating a bit here...she kinda just invited people to join her and I, on my own accord decided to jump in lol) It's not like I eat a TON of sugar to begin with, but with all this effort i'm putting in every where else, why not?

9. *unwraps mini peanut butter cup and shoves it hurriedly into mouth...looks around* What? We said we were starting Monday...SHEESH! *slowly reaches back into bag and grabs another peanut butter cup*

Don't judge me!

10. Please if you have a blog, post it in my comments, even if we are old friends...still post it, promote that shit! A lot of bloggers I started out with aren't blogging anymore and my blog feed is looking PUHRETTY slim these days. I have quite a few pageviews but not many comments or followers, which means I got a lot of creepers! Please comment, it makes my day :) also please share your blog link so I can make sure I'm following you.

Love you all my little cupcakes! I will probably have to do my weigh in Saturday since I won't have my Scale tomorrow. Can't wait! I know I'm up from my last weigh in but I'm down since starting Insanity! :)

That Sh*t is Buh-nanas, YO!

2013-10-15T20:28:00.002-05:00

I have officially lost my mind.

Yep. I have gone completely Insane...... FOR INSANITY THAT IS!

*slaps knee*

See what I did there?

Ok, but seriously? Shaun T (creator and Instructor) puts it best in this evenings video: ~~Shoot me in the fucking face~~ Pure Cardio when he said "That SHIT is BUHnanas yo!"

I've craving exercise lately, I just couldn't get into a grove and get motivated. My eating has also been pretty craptastic lately which I think contributed to the lack of motivation. So the intern at work came up to me and we started talking about exercising. I can't even tell you now how we got on the topic but he asked if I had heard of Insanity. I said..."ummm...yeah...but I heard you had to be bat shit crazy to do it" He told me he had it and would give it to me.

Saweet. At first I say that sarcastically... because during a phase of motivation depletion I should totally make a fake 60 day commitment to a soul crushing workout. Yeah...that's gonna work *rolls eyes*

He was super excited about it and really adamant I start it. So I "promised" him (fingers crossed behind my back) that I would start it.

So i download the files on my laptop...print out the schedule and all that jazz. The first day is the "Fit Test" Just a few moves you do and see how many of each you can do. You do this fit test every other week through the program.

Cool beans... I can do this. It won't be that bad.

30 minutes later.....

EEEFFFFF MEEEEE!!!!!!! Are you effing kidding me here?!?! What kind of madness is this shit? Who in their right minds would subject themselves to this?

Well... Apparantly me... I do... and while it was hard and I felt like I was going to collapse afterwards... and puked... and couldn't walk.. I have to tell you a secret but shhhhhhhhhh don't tell anyone.

Get closer...

Closer...

CLOSER...

*looks around...leans into your ear*

I LOVED IT!!!

I loved the soreness... I LOVED feeling my muscles for the first time in a long time.. I LOVED feeling the results of my hard work. I couldn't even sit down on the frikken toilet to take me a pee without crying out in pain....

BUT I LOVED IT!

Something happened... A fire was awakened within me...

I crave my workouts...

I think about it all day at work...

Every move I make I feel my muscles...

And it's Uh-may-zing.

But boooooyyyyyyyy I really hadn't even seen nothing yet. Day 2 was actually what I would consider the real first day because it's the actual workout. And let me tell you... Just the warm up for the video is a full workout. You are dripping sweat and feel like quitting just after the warm up.

HOLY BUHJEEZIS!!!

My legs literally kept giving out on me... I had to grunt and moan and cry out just to make it through.

But guess what?

I.DID.IT.

I fucking did it.

I didn't quit... I finished the video.

I felt like I was going to die... But I did it. I felt so much pride. But it wasn't until I started reading message boards when I found out a LOT of people didn't even make it through the video... only made it half way through. I totally pulled one of these sitting in my recliner...

I'm so excited about this and so ready to push myself and see just how hard I can push and see just much of a transformation I can make. It has reignited the fire within me to start getting my eating back in order. I feel so much motivation right now it's almost scary! I really feel unstoppable and I hope this momentum just keeps building as it has.

Tonight I completed day 5 and although it was the hardest so far I feel soooo good afterwards! It was so crazy that the people in the video looked like they were dying.. even Shaun T got so tired he couldn't talk.

He is so awesome... but EFF HIM! He pushes you so hard and you feel like he's there with you telling you to dig deeper.

EFF YOU SHAUN T!

Tonight was by far the sweatiest workout yet...also the one that I felt I pushed the hardest. This is my Pure Cardio face... lol After my workout I made me a little dinner.

1/2 cup fat free cottage cheese

1/4 cup lloyds shredded pork

1/4 cup lloyds shredded chicken

10 cheddar rice cakes

338 calories and 25 grams Protein. Not too bad! Oh and before you say EWWWW GROSS, you should try it... it's delicious. :)

Get comfy...you might be here a while! (long overdue update!)

2013-10-14T18:38:00.001-05:00

I'm gonna be completely honest here.... I have been "gone" so long I don't really have ANY FRIKKEN CLUE WHERE TO START! This may be really fragmented and strange, it might get a little weird...but if you stick around it just might be worth it! (I promise this is a pic filled post....I know that's all you guys come here for!! J/K!) I'm thinking bullets might work best for an update post...yeah bullets!

1st and foremost I think the most exciting news is that I am no longer living in my boyfriends mom's sunroom! Woot woot! *happy dance* My love and I officially have our own apartment!!! We moved in the last week in July. I LOVE IT!!! It's been hard, we had nothing... his momma was AMAZING and furnished just about our entire apartment from garage sales. I can not thank her enough, she is an amazing woman who has accepted me and my children into her family, into her HOME with open arms and an open heart and has made me feel so loved and accepted. She is one of a kind and I am so lucky to have her in my life.
Speaking of my love. When you find the right person you really know. I am so in love it's scary! lol He makes me want to be a better person, push myself harder than I ever thought possible. He makes me feel beautiful, and wanted. I will spare my family the details so I will just say A++++ with a big puffy star sticker in the bedroom... ;) he is so supportive of my journey, he believes in me and encourages me everyday..especially on the days when I have a hard time encouraging myself.
The ball is finally rolling on my divorce. Things are SO much better with me and my ex. He has a girlfriend now and i'm super happy for him, I wish nothing but happiness for him. I'm lucky that I never have to worry about my daughters not having a father. My situation is still very hard and it makes more sense for them to go to school and stay with him on the weeknights and I have them every weekend. I know some people think it's weird but it works for us right now. I miss my kids...i was supermom for almost 5 years...did everything and now it's so different. I went from not even being able to pee by myself to being by myself every night (my love works until 9pm) Not gonna lie...it's lonely. But i'm finding my own happiness and making the most of the time I get with them.
Soooo, because of above bullet and the fact I have defaulted on all my credit card bills...BLEH. I am looking for a 2nd job at nights. I want to give myself something to do and keep my mind off of being lonely and missing my kiddos while making some extra money to pay off my debt. Let me tell you, it's harder than it sounds to get a 2nd job... been trying for like 2 months now. Just keep swimming! :)
My weight loss has hit a plateau... I mean it could possibly be all the peanut butter cups, potato chips and ice cream... COULD be... lol But what I have learned is that i'm getting pretty dang good at maintenance...it's just...well...i'm NOT at maintenance yet... still have a few elbees to go! I have a longer post coming about that soon.
OK, I think that's probably enough for now so let's start off the pic parade with kiddo pics, Shall we?

Her first day of Kindergarten! :)

My baby girls Kindergarten school picture...can't believe it!

My babies eating their first breakfast at mommy's new apartment! :)

My little hipster....lol

One day I will probably have to break out this pic to prove

to them that they loved each other at one point! lol

This little monkey and her Minion cracks me up! She really knows

how to lay on the cute!

Ok, Now on to yours truly! Time to show you a pictoral timeline of my life over the summer!!

No makeup, the day I hit the 100lb mark! :)

Such a change in my face!

OK folks... the next picture is a real heartbreaker for me...

See, I went shopping and tried on this dress and frugal me decided not to buy

it when I found out it wasn't on clearance. Regular price was only $36..not like it was expensive, but I

passed on it anyway and KICK myself for it... what a dummy!

I effing LOOOOVVEEEDD it!!!

(p.s. look at those collar bones!)

My birthday outfit! I had the day off and I spent with my momma! :)

The steal of a deal shirt I bought on my b-day! :)

Ok.... The last picture is going to be tough... I have NEVER taken a swimsuit selfie...

Like EVER. If you have seen a pic of me in my swimsuit it's because it was taken without

my permission and I haven't killed the photographer yet lol

BUTTTTT... I decided it was time to face my fears and let you all see me in my swimwear.

Soooo.....

I guess here goes nothing!

There it is folks! That's my life in a nutshell! I could have actually made this much longer but I wanted you to ACTUALLY read it! HAHA

Don't worry, I will start blogging more now...pinkie promise! In fact I have 2 drafts almost ready to go! Some news about my new exercise plan is coming soon! :) So stay tuned!

Things that make you go "hmmmm"

2013-09-10T17:24:00.001-05:00

I am perplexed...dumbfounded...bewildered... *runs to google for more synonyms* ummm....puzzled...bamboozled...discombobulated...uhh...flummoxed? (wtf google? flummoxed?)

Anyways, I think you get the picture.

Soooo......for YEARS I have been 5ft 4in tall. At least... I thought so...
Today at work we started talking about how tall we were and no one thought anyone was right lol so we pulled out the ole measuring tape to put our measuring skills to the test.
Well son of a shit if I wasn't 5 foot and 5 flipping inches tall!

When I went in for Lap-Band surgery I was measured at 5 foot 4 inches.

Soooo....Did I suddenly grow an inch taller in my old age? I thought you are supposed to shrink as you get older?!? I mean I'm only 28 but I'm pretty sure I stopped growing at like 16. So WTFF? (yes, you read that right, 2 F's...What the fucking fuck?!?! lol)

I mean don't get me wrong here... I like 5'5" much better than 5'4"... that inch is like... awesome sauce. I mean look at what it does for my BMI!

At 5'5" my BMI is 25.8 (holy smokes for real? i'm .8 away from not being overweight anymore? wowzas!)
At 5'4" my BMI is 26.6

I'll take 25.8!! haha! well I'd take 26.6 too seeing as I started this journey at 40+ (<-----umm ...was="" p="" real="" that="">
So I like this growing thing... I should do it more often... lower that BMI even more!

JUST KIDDING! I will just keep going to the gym and doing my best to follow my band rules... that's how I will lower my BMI ;)

Flash Back Friday Weigh IN!

2013-09-06T06:54:00.000-05:00

Starting weight: 261 lbs
Surgery day: 234.4 lbs

Last weigh in: 161 lbs
Todays weight: 156.3 lbs

-4.7 lb loss

-78.1 lb loss since surgery
-104.7 lb loss overall

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's FLASHBACK FRIDAY YA'LL!!! (Thanks LBG for the idea!)

Here is a pic of me probably at a little over 260 lbs.... and then me a few weeks ago at approximately 156lbs. What a difference! I seriously have a hard time remembering the girl on the left, and I'm still getting used to the girl on the right! I will NEVER be the girl on the left again...EVER. Thank you Lap-Band... and Thank you to me...for all the hard work I have put in to get here...I kinda rock! :)

A Realization has become my MOTIVATION!

2013-09-05T21:55:00.000-05:00

Why hello there! Remember me? The Dandy Bandy? Yep, still here... still kicking!

Life is finally calming down...routines are being created...good things, good things! Hopefully that means I will be able to start posting more! I really am going to make an effort to blog more, it has helped me soooooooo much and I think it's time to get back to it!

I'm working on a nice long post updating you all on life over here in Dandyland. A lot has happened that I must share with my little cupcakes. But not today... I want it to be good...not rushed!

But I HAD to share this.....

I had a realization tonight while working out (finally!) at the fitness center at my apartment. (that's right, I said my apartment...told ya a lot has happened!) It's nice to have a fitness center open 24 hours because it means I really have no excuses to get my ass in gear. When I first saw it I was excited because there were these big floor to ceiling mirrors so you could watch your form and what not. What I realized tonight whilst watching myself workout in said mirrors.....

I have a ways to go. Seriously.

Now please don't think me ungrateful... Believe me I am so floored at how far I have come. I have lost over 100 lbs...WOW. really...WOWZAS! But I think I started getting super comfortable with the fact I had lost so much and started losing sight of the fact that I'm not where I really want to be. I've been riding the high for a while and kind of stalled out. Wearing such smaller sizes and being amazed every time I try on clothes I think kind of gave me a distorted image of where I'm really at. I think that I thought I was farther along than I really was... that I looked different than I really do. Looking in those mirrors tonight I realized that it's not time to slow down and bask...NOW is actually time to turn up the heat and work harder than I ever have to reach my goal. I'm NOT where I want to be, I should NOT be getting comfortable.

That realization has become my new motivation. I'm ready to push myself and reach my goals and go farther than I ever thought I would. Once again, I'm proud as SHIT of myself and still sometimes can't believe I have come this far.... but I'm ready to go farther.

Bring it on.... LET'S.DO.THIS.

Pre workout....grrrrrrrrrrr

Post workout.... grumpy after my foot cramped up on the treadmill

Thought the em-effer was gonna curl up and die right there,

just fall the eff right off...but I pushed through, didn't stop!

Bandiversary Time Baby!!!

2013-07-19T05:41:00.002-05:00

Has it really been a whole stinking year since I had the Lap-Band surgery?!?! I know, I know I'm a week late...but hey...I'm DOIN IT!!!

All I can say about this past year is....

WOWZAS!!!!!

My life has COMPLETELY changed in the past year. There is so much I want to talk about but it's midnight and I know ya'll just came for the updates!! It's ok I forgive you, I'm guilty of it too :) So let's go ahead and get to it!

We will start with measurements. The first was taken the night before surgery. The 2nd was 1 year later. ummmm..... REALLY?!?!? I'm still in disbelief of these numbers here folks. I NEVER thought this could be me!

7/11/12 7/12/13 Loss

Neck.............15"............13.5"........1.5"

R bicep..........17.5 .........14"...........3.5"

L bicep..........17"...........13.5" ........3.5"

R forearm.......12.5"........10.5"........2"

L forearm.......12"...........10"...........2"

Wrist...............7.5".........6.75"........0.75"

Bust................50"...........41"..........9"

W...................46.5"........36.5"........10"

Hips................53"...........40"..........13"

R thigh............24.5"........20"...........4.5"

L thigh............24.25".......19.5"........4.75"

TOTAL LOSS----54.5"

54.5" GONE FOREVER

Wow WOW wow... It's funny when I was big, I never realized I was THAT big....

Now for the big EL-BEES... How much exactly have I lost? Well, it's an amount that I NEVER thought was EVER possible for me to lose... and here I am...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Starting weight: 261 lbs
Surgery day: 234.4 lbs

Last weigh in: 164.2 lbs
Todays weight: 161 lbs

-3.2 lb loss

-73.4 lb loss since surgery
-100 lb loss overall

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Are you effing me? Seriously... are you all effing me? I know there are a lot of people out there stalking my blog... thinking about getting the Lap-Band....seeing LBG and her success and all these other ladies... and now me too... and thinking "I could never do that... I don't feel like I could lose 100 lbs...it's just too much." Let me tell you, I thought the SAME EXACT THING. I really never thought I could ever lose 100 lbs. I thought it was just too much...Impossible...can't happen. WEEEELLLLLLLLL.... Here is proof that it can and it WILL happen if you work hard!!!

OK, ok... enough numbers, I know you guys really came for pictures...don't lie!!! Well, the proof is in the puddin folks. I still can't believe my eyes....

Was that girl on the left really me?

Is the girl on the right really me?

I have no words... I really.have.no.words. I could go on and on and on and on... But I won't. 1 Year down... many many many more to go. I can't wait to see where this journey takes me from here and I'm so glad I have such a wonderful group of people both near and far supporting me and following me every step of the way. I love you all... my friends and family here that keep up and also the UH-MAY-ZING sisters I have found in blogland. My bandie besties I call em'... you know who you are!!!!

Thank you all for making this HUGE year in my life absolutely unmatchable.

Whaddya say to a Weigh In?

2013-06-19T18:39:00.001-05:00

Starting weight: 261 lbs
Surgery day: 234.4 lbs

Last weigh in: 171.9 lbs
Todays weight: 164.2 lbs

-7.7 lb loss

-70.2 lb loss since surgery
-96.8 lb loss overall

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Holy cow, holy smokes, holy cannoli... and anything else that could possibly be holy.... I'm so excited I could poop! 96.8 FREAKING ELBEES GONE!!!

I was going to post more but i'm kind of in shock.... Soooo.... I guess we end it with cute kid pics? You know, the yooozh.

My baby is 5 whole years old!!

My little Pre-k Grad!! :)

Holy Bejesus!! Where has the time gone?! (BIG REVEAL!)

2013-06-18T23:40:00.000-05:00

Hello?

Is anyone still out there?

Do you think I've fallen off the face of the earth?

Are you wondering if I've gained a bunch of weight back and just can't bring myself to blog?

NOOOOOOPPPPPEEEEEE!!!!

I'm here....I'm kicking... some ASS that is!!!

I'm less than a month away from my big ole Bandiversary and I am ohhhh so close to my goal weight!!! Just how close? Well you will find out tomorrow when I weigh in!!! lol

Now I know you only clicked on this for the BIG REVEAL. I really hope you look at the whole blog post cuz it will be worth it...promise! I have a big reveal at the endski! :)

Now just keep going... LOTS of pictures to keep you good and entertained K? Thx!

Ok sooo... first of all, I think i'm ready to show you guys me and my new squeeze. You know the extremely supportive, extremely sexay (if I do say so myself!) extremely loving and caring new dude? Yeah, him. I kinda like him.... A LOT!

Aweeeeeee.....aren't we just tooo cute?

I have to say, eventhough we feel like teenagers because we are both starting over with nothing....and it's a struggle (still living in his mom's sunroom the "Couch Palace" as we call it) we are so stinking happy. Our communication is so open, we aren't afraid to say how we feel and its awesome. We are certainly building an extremely strong foundation for a great relationship and life.

Ok on to other stuffs! Like... ME and losing weight and stuffs. lol

Here are some pics I took a bit ago, just a little photo shoot for ya!

DANGG lets zoom in on that face! lol

I usually don't like pics of myself but that's one good selfie!! lol

No stripes? Fooey! I'll rock em thank you vrrrry much! :)

OK, here's a pretty big reveal...but not THE big reveal. Remember how I said my love forced me to buy shorts? Well, here they are my little cupcakes!

Say WHAAAAT?!?! Big step guys...BIG step. Now? I love shorts

OKies, next we start leading up to the big reveal!! My momma got me and my dad and brother UHMAYZING seats for the Royals game last week. 5 rows behind the dugout...awesome. Kenz had an absolute freaking blast!!!

Anyone notice yet? *hint* does the shirt look familiar? muhuhahahahaha!!!

Ok, before the big reveal let's tease you just a little more.... how about a nice shot of my new jawline?!?!

OOOOOOOH LALALALALA!!! Look at that jawline? I didn't know i had one of those! Whodathunk?

OK ok, I will stop teasing time to show you the big reveal! (now i'm afraid i've talked it up to much and you are going to be disappointed...just "oooo" and "awwww" and humor k? thx!)

......

........

.................

.................................................

OK FINE HERE IT IS!!!!

Can you frikken believe it?!!?! The left for those of you who don't know is the night before surgery weighing in at about 234 lbs. This was my goal shirt and I literally almost broke it putting it on for this pic...merrr. The right is last week....about 166 lbs. which is 95lbs down from my original weight of 261. This folks is unbelievable to me. When I started this i thought there was NOOOOO way i would ever fit into this teeny tiny little shirt. WELLLLL... I CAN DAMNIT! And I look good! I have changed my body this much without a regular exercise routine (who am I kidding, basically no exercise) I can't WAIT to see my body transform adding exercise. Which I just started. lol Kettlebell workouts (talk about ass kickin!) and walking a 4.5 mile route with my love.

Well, there you have it. I hope it was worth the wait and I hope you looked at the whole post!

I will be back soon with a weigh in and some adorable pics of the kiddos! :)

Why Herrow there! Saturday weigh in anyone?

2013-05-11T16:58:00.001-05:00

Starting weight: 261 lbs
Surgery day: 234.4 lbs

Last weigh in: 175 lbs
Todays weight: 171.9 lbs

-3.1 lb loss

-62.5 lb loss since surgery
-89.1 lb loss overall

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OH geeeeeeze I'm soooooo close to 90 lb loss!!!!

I really just can't believe it... Sometimes I don't even recognize my reflection... I have to stop and do a double take... and sometime I strut a little and think "DWAM I'm looking GGOOOOODDD!"

Life is still crazy... settling down though which is awesome. Things are getting much more civil and friendly in my divorce which is super duper. If you are friends with me on facebook you noticed that my relationship status has changed... YUP it's FB official! I have met a wonderful person who makes me feel uh-may-zing, really. He makes me feel like a million bucks and then some. He tells me i'm beautiful/sexy/pretty every.single.day. He is amazingly supportive of my weight loss journey and encourages me DAILY. Of course it's like we are 17 again, starting all over. We both have nothing because we both just got out of relationships. We don't have our own place yet, working on that lol. But the most important thing is i'm HAPPY. Really really happy.

I'm hoping to get down to my goal weight by my birthday August 14th. So that's like 21.9 lbs to lose by August, I think I can do it!!! I've also decided to change my goal weight, my boyfriend challenged me to take it down 10 more lbs to 140lbs, He's like "it's only 10 more lbs, you can totally do it!" I'm pretty sure I can do it too lol But i'm officially keeping my goal weight at 150 because that's what it's always been... hell I never even thought I could get down to 171!! I'm hoping to start really amping up and exercising like a fiend now that it's FINALLY getting warmer!!!

I forgot to tell you guys, a couple months ago I totaled my car when Bambi's mom strolled out in front of me... yeah it sucked, bf's airbag went off , i had a seatbelt burn... no bueno... BUT I gots me some new wheels now!

Ain't she purdy?

OH! Big news! I finally bought my first pair of jean shorts!!! And even better? They are size effing 10!!!! yes, a TEN!!! I couldn't believe it..... Oh and i finally bought a new pair of jeans.... also a size 10!!!! I really never thought I would ever wear a size 10, it feels amazing, I can't wait until i'm crying over wearing like a size 8!! (which still seems impossible in my brain lol)

Well, I'm off. I got my camera now so I am hoping to take some progress pics pretty soon! :) So now I leave you with some pics!!

Size MEDIUM shirt folks...yep

Me and my mom's new weiner Sammie Jo Pickles!! She is toooo cute!

I know I know, I wear this sweatshirt a lot, but how could I not? I'm kind of a boss!!

My momma bought me a hat! lol

Possibly the cutest picture ever. Kenz was letting my moms older weiner outside to go potty

and I hear her BANGING on the door and when I open it she has this thing in her

hands and she screams "I FOUND A MOUSE!!!" I said no kenz that's a bitty baby bunny!

She said "Patches had it in her mouth shaking it!! Then she threw it!! I saved it's LIFE!! Patches

DID NOT save it's life!!!" Unfortunately this tiny little critter didn't make it but it's siblings did.

Sad, but I got this ridiculously cute picture out of it..soo...there's that...

How 'bout a Tuesday Weigh In sprinkled with a little catch up?

2013-04-09T17:19:00.000-05:00

Starting weight: 261 lbs
Surgery day: 234.4 lbs

Last weigh in: 182.8 lbs
Todays weight: 175 lbs

-7.8 lb loss

-59.4 lb loss since surgery
-86 lb loss overall

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Has it really been 3/7/13 since my last post?!?! I'm in disbelief... I can't believe it... I have my laptop now so i'm hoping the posts will start a rollin in!!

Ya'll see that? 86 flippin el bees GONE forever!!!

Kind of in disbelief about that too... I am finally at the point in my journey where I have actually realized I look different....like... a LOT different. Almost every time I look in the mirror I don't feel like i'm looking at my own reflection... I don't recognize the girl in the mirror. My mind still tries to make me think i'm 261 lb Julie, so when I look in the mirror that's what I expect to see... Some times it really is almost shocking.

I know I haven't done pics in a while... I WILL, I promise. But here is a pic 6lbs ago, when I hit 80 lbs lost.

I think the shirt says it all... :)

That weekend I went and visited my friend who works at MAC, I came in for a foundation match and she ended up doing a complete makeover lol

Bought my first tube of RED lipstick!!

Finally worked up the courage to apply it myself...

It's really weird to see my face so thin... I Love it, don't get me wrong...still just getting used to it!

My next big leap is........

SHORTS!!!!

That's right.... this chick is gonna go buy her first pair of shorts!! Thanks to my BF for ~~forcing~~ encouraging me to

How about a Thursday Weigh In?

2013-03-07T05:49:00.000-06:00

Starting weight: 261 lbs
Surgery day: 234.4 lbs

Last weigh in: 185 lbs
Todays weight: 182.8 lbs

-2.2 lb loss

-52.2 lb loss since surgery
-78.2 lb loss overall

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wow... I'm soooooooo close to 80 lbs gone!!! Only 32.2 lbs away from my goal... that is just unbelievable... I can't believe how quickly time has gone by... and how much weight I have lost. I am truly stunned. I'm also stunned I keep losing weight while eating like CRAPOLA!! I still don't have my own place yet so I stay at my BF's moms house in the sun room. We eat out every single meal and i've picked up an old BAD habit... soda... REGULAR soda...I'm talking Coke-a-cola CLASSIC folks!! I'm trying to quit though... I will... I just need a little normalcy in my life! :)

Well, gotta go! Sorry to be so short...soon I will post a good long post...promise!!!

Ummm...Tuesday Weigh In?

2013-02-19T05:36:00.000-06:00

Starting weight: 261 lbs
Surgery day: 234.4 lbs

Last weigh in: 188 lbs
Todays weight: 185 lbs

-3 lb loss

-49.4 lb loss since surgery
-76 lb loss overall

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

HOLY COW!!! I know a lot of my losses are from stress....but I will take it!!!! I had to do a double take this morning when the scale said 185. I CAN'T believe i'm this close to my goal.... I really can't. I barely recognize myself when I look in the mirror.

I went to the Ole'Navy the other day to get some more yogas because mine were gettng a little tattered. I thought the larges were only baggy because I had worn them so much... NOPE they were baggy because they were too big!! Yes my friends.. I am the proud owner of size MEDIUM yogas...and I must say they look frikken awesome!!

I'm hoping to get a progress post done tonight since i'm at the house (exhubs is out of town so i'm holding down the fort with the girls)

Love you my little cupcakes! :)

Friday Weigh In!!!

2013-02-08T05:39:00.001-06:00

Starting weight: 261 lbs
Surgery day: 234.4 lbs

Last weigh in: 189.1 lbs
Todays weight: 188 lbs

-1.1 lb loss

-46.4 lb loss since surgery
-73 lb loss overall

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I just keep chugging! Even if this is all stress related weight loss you bet ur ass I'll take it!!!
It's been a verrryyy lonnggg, stressful week and I am looking forward to just RELAXING!!! (and maybe getting some sleep!)

I wish I could stay and chat but I must get ready for work and get the girlios ready to go!! Tata for now my little cupcakes! :)

This has been a day by day struggle..but this is how i've been trying to live everyday...

Weigh In!!

2013-02-04T22:33:00.000-06:00

Starting weight: 261 lbs
Surgery day: 234.4 lbs

Last weigh in: 193.6 lbs
Todays weight: 189.1 lbs

-4.5 lb loss

-45.3 lb loss since surgery
-71.9 lb loss overall

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I know I know, It's not Friday... but I'm getting my weigh in's when I can since I'm kinda homeless right now!! lol

I have to say Thank You... seriously... to all of you. Your comments and messages after my last post REALLY mean a lot to me. This is hard... it sux... But it will get better and life will settle down...and it will be great. I have to give a HUGE shout out to one of my bandy besties Michelle... LOVE YOU GIRL!!! Your words have meant the world to me!!!
This all just goes to show that you really never know what's going on in someones life by the outside. I promise one day I will talk about this more and describe the hurt I feel but now is not that time. I really have a family here in blogland, even when I'm MIA for a while I know you guys are still thinking about me and just waiting for me to check in.. that means soooo much to me.

I have to admit... through all this I have let the stress get the best of me... Don't be fooled by my big losses, it really must be because of stress because I'm not eating good right now. It's probably because my band doesn't like this stress and only allows me to eat a few bites at a time before I feel the pressure in my chest. I don't really have a "home" right now so I don't get to eat many home cooked meals which SUCKS because I love to cook. I haven't really had the time/place to exercise either.

I'm starting to notice a lot of loose skin... I can't wait to start hitting it hard at the gym and try to tone some of this up...

I'm also looking forward to my next monthly update since I missed the last one... I'm excited to measure again and see what's up in that arena.

Sorry this seems so scattered but tis' my life right now!!!

Thank you all again sooooo much it's so awesome to know that you all are there for me even when i'm not here that much. It makes my day to see all your comments... that you haven't forgotten about me!!

Here is a pic of me today, I had a great day...really..don't know what it was...it was just a great day (I think seeing 189 on the scale helped a smidge lol)

TTT---- Big Update Edition

2013-01-31T22:46:00.001-06:00

Holy balls it's been a while since I did one of these things! Thanks to the ever beautiful, wonderfully sarcastic, glowing and expecting Laura Belle from Beer, Dogs, and Getting Healthier. I have been MIA for a while so I hope this helps you understand why. I think i'm ready to share.

1. Life has been crazy...like real cray cray. I haven't really had access to a computer a lot because I haven't been staying at home a lot.

2. Home, I say home... but I don't really have a home right now.

3. You have probably connected the dots already but if you haven't.... Me and The Hubs are becoming "Me and The Ex Hubs" There... I said it... I guess that makes it real. I'm not going to bash him... I loved him... A lot... for a long time. Maybe in the future I will go into more detail when things aren't so fresh for everyone involved. I don't want to hurt anyone. I'm the one who decided to do it, however as time goes by things keep coming out that make me realize it was for the best. I think the hardest thing for me is finding out that he hasn't been attracted to me and morbid obesity for many years.

4. I think all the stress finally caught up with me last night.... My mom took me to the E.R. at 2 am. I thought I was having a stroke... no joke... lol I guess it was just a migraine since they said my brain looked perfect (I could have told them I had a perfect brain without a ct scan lol) I actually passed out on the ottoman with the girls... I woke up to The Doots trying to force a childrens chewable tylenol in my mouth saying "mommy, shhh...just take the tylenol, it will make you feel better!" And then there's Shoogs...walking around the house with a GIANT bag of frosted cheerios just munching. They gave me some morphine...which was NOICE! I'm feeling better now but when I bend over or move quickly it still hurts. They did give me some meds though so that works... Sucks I had to miss work though... I HATE missing work!

5.I haven't been weighing myself a lot lately so i'm not sure how i'm doing... eating has also been weird due to my situation...but I think i'm doing ok still. I'm going to weigh in tomorrow but it won't be on my normal scale... oh well, we'll see what happens.

6.I think all this stress has my band SUPER tight. It seems like almost every meal hurts. I know I should go to the Dr. but with all this... and no insurance yet because of my new job i just don't have the funds. I'm going to be better with my choices...try doing shakes and softer foods until this all calms down a bit and hopefully it will loosen up a bit.

7.My meds are kicking in for the night so excuse me if things get a little weird lol its hard for my brain to think right meow!

8. UMMMMMMMMM A big, humongous, ginormus CONGRATS!!!! To Miss Laura Belle, if you've been living under a rock and don't know, she's having a wittle baby!!! So happy for her and can't wait to read all her updates!!!

9.I missed a monthly update with all that's going on but I promise I will have Feb's progress pics and update...cross my heart lol

10.How about we just make 10 some pictures shall we? Nothing crazy... just some pics from the last few weeks... cute kids always make things better :)

My little gymnast! She looks SOOOO big!

Froyo after a bad day..makes it all better! :)

Waiting for the doc..her ear drum perforated

This kid LOVES Twizzlers!

The Doots took this pic of me...what a good little photog!

These girls are my <3 p="">

Weigh In! (Friday...or Sunday...Whatevs!)

2013-01-27T15:15:00.000-06:00

Starting weight: 261 lbs
Surgery day: 234.4 lbs

Last weigh in: 195.8 lbs
Todays weight: 193.6 lbs

-2.2 lb loss

-40.8 lb loss since surgery
-67.4 lb loss overall

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Ok that weigh in is from Monday... Things have been crazy and I've just now been able to get on a computer.

Onederland is nice folks...real nice.. not gonna lie! But now my eye is on the prize... only 44 lbs to go to reach my goal...seems like nothing!!! lol

It's still really weird going into a store and walking to the regular sizes instead of the plus sizes. WEEEUUURDD I tell ya. It's even weirder trying on a size large thinking "there's no way this is going to fit" and low and behold the EmEffer fits...perfectly!!!

It's Uhmayzing... fo reals. Whats not amazing is I think this may develop a shopping addiction!!!! I'm actually getting ready to go clothes shopping right now! Good thing I'm a bargain shopper, that's for sure. The other day I got a sweater, a shirt and a pair of earrings for 14 bucks...couldn't beat that with a stick!

I promise everyone I will start posting more once things stabilize in my life a little. I will post later about what's going on... just know that my life has changed in EVERY way in the past year. I want to wait to post until I can really sit down and concentrate, I don't want to just blurt it out and have it be all cray cray. Just know that I am OK, really.

Better go help out with Sunday dinner.... Venison hashbrown casserole, peas and salad...can't frikken wait!!!

Friday Weigh In!!

2013-01-06T22:28:00.002-06:00

Starting weight: 261 lbs
Surgery day: 234.4 lbs

Last weigh in: 199.9 lbs
Todays weight: 195.8 lbs

-4.1 lb loss

-38.6 lb loss since surgery
-65.2 lb loss overall

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SAY WHAT?!?!?! I am rocking and rolling in onederland people!!!!

Yes, yes, I know it's Sunday evening... But this weigh in was done on Friday morning I PROMISE! And I had a busy weekend, couldn't get to a computer and for some reason can't get blogger to work on my phone. BUT better late than never I guess!

Last saturday was the holiday party for my new work. I worked up the courage to wear something I have NEVER wore... A tight fitting dress. When I first put it on I was uncomfortable because you know...my brain still thinks I weigh 261 lbs. But I braved it...even snapped a photo! Here is the pic for those of you who isn't my FRAN on the ole FB.

That is a size LARGE dress from the regular size section!!! I'm soooooo glad I decided to wear it because I got sooooooo many compliments from complete strangers. It was such a boost and confirmation of my weight loss!

I have been really absent for a while and for that I apologize. There are some major changes going on in my life right now. I'm not really ready to share but I promise I will let you all know when the time is right. My life has changed sooooooo much in the last year, in every.single.way.

By you seeing that pic up there then you can see that I now have a phone with a working camera again sooooo... it's back to pic overload!!!! Not yet... I will spare you on this post but just beware... The pic queen is baaackkk!!

I will leave you with 1 more pic.... Sunday dinner tonight was Oh-em-gee delish! My cuz made a stuffed, bacon wrapped chicken breast that was TO DIE FOR!!!! With some Asian green beans and panko crusted crab mac-n-cheese. I can't even describe how delicious it was...