The Dark Side - The Blog of Darth Phil

Are You On The List?

2007-06-17T11:10:00.001+01:00

Golden Years

2007-06-16T16:41:00.000+01:00

It gives me great pleasure to say that on Saturday 26^th May, Mrs P and I tied the knot in a small ceremony at our local registry office. A reception followed at a local restaurant where there was food, music and dancing throughout the afternoon. My new wife and I then went home about 8.00pm, got changed into something a little more casual and went and spent the rest of the evening drinking beer and playing air guitar at a rock club until 2.00am.

Highlights of the day include:

I had not been allowed to see MrsP�??s wedding dress so when Mrs P stepped out of the car at the registry office I was totally blown away as she looked simply beautiful. Her hair was styled up, she was wearing mendhi on her hands and feet, and her jewellery looked perfect. I was lost for words. I was the proudest man in the world.

The ceremony itself went fine (apart from getting a fit of the giggles). Both Mrs P and I managed to say all the right words in all the right places. With our wedding not being a traditional wedding we decided to walk down the aisle together. However we also chose not to use the Wedding March. Instead we went for the more surprising but equally well known choice of The Imperial March (Darth Vader�??s Theme) from the Empire Strikes Back. It went down well with our guests!

At the reception I read the speech I had written that morning. The strange thing about giving the speech is that I am normally quite nervous when speaking in front of lots of people but when I stood up next to Mrs P I felt very confident and didn�??t notice the 65 people sitting in front of us.

There was dancing. Oh, there was much dancing! We had a mix of music from Bhangra to rock. I think everyone danced at some point, the most surprising people being my parents. My parents are both in their sixties but seeing them play air guitar to Monkey Wrench by the Foo Fighters was a sight to behold and will stay with me for a long time. Mrs P glided across the floor as usual while I clumped about with my big size 10 feet.

Overall the day was absolutely brilliant. There are many, many photos to be found on Flickr including a set from the official photographer.

A Long, Long Time Ago

2007-02-25T15:17:00.000Z

I found this great You Tube post this morning. If only George Lucas had this version of Star Wars Episode III instead. Darth Wallace and Darth Gromit - A force to be reckoned with.

And It's All Part of the Last Bus Home

2007-02-24T19:37:00.000Z

When Mrs P and I went to Southall the other week Mrs P did a first. She rode on a bendy bus. We actually had to wait for a bendy bus to arrive mind. Stef insisted, nay, demanded that she rided on one. The look of uncertainty on her face is due to the fact that she is straddling the rotating plate in the middle of the bendy bus. The sensation when you do this as the bus goes around a corner is quite unusual. Stef knows how to show a girl a good time in the big city!

Thank you Stef.

Heroes

2007-02-22T21:22:00.000Z

Heroes is a fantastic series that has just started in the UK on the Sci-Fi Channel. It is due to start on BBC2 later this year. If however you have broadband you might use a bit torrent site to download it, but that would be wrong, alledgedly. Mrs P and I are looking forward to Tuesday morning when we can download the next episode. Anyway, a picture of Hiro Nakamura for Mrs P.

My Camera Never Lies

2007-02-22T21:12:00.000Z

Back in November I bought Mrs P a shiny new Kodak camera for her birthday. Since then she has been taking photos of the world around us like female David Bailey. She has got to grips with many of the features and has been taking up the bandwidth of our PC and preventing me from downloading Heroes as she has been uploading photos to her Flickr site. Pop by and have a gander. Leave a comment!

Songs For The Deaf

2007-02-18T23:01:00.000Z

With our wedding approaching Mrs P and I have been thinking long and hard about which song to have as our "first dance" song. This has proved to be actually quite difficult and although we have thought of a few songs we are not as inspired as we'd like to be.

Therefore we are opening the floor to you dear readers! All suggestions are welcome be they english, indian or patagonian (no pan pipes moods though). Suggest-me-do! The quirkier the better.

On a related note Kaptain Kobold, Mrs kobold and all the little kobolds came shopping in Our Town for wedding clothes at the weekend. The results can be found here. The outfit that Stef will be wearing can be found here.

Whoopee!

2007-02-15T15:47:00.000Z

I have just found out that 1st May 2007 is the release date for Snakes and Arrows, the new Rush album! I am well stoked!

Jumping Jack Flash

2007-02-15T08:44:00.000Z

We buy a cooker.

Mrs P and I have just moved into our first house. The time is five and a half years ago. The place is a 3 bedroom semi in Brum. The kitchen was lacking a gas cooker so we went and bought our own for £150. The man in the shop says that a man will deliver it later that day and someone else will come to connect it to the gas main. Fair enough.

The cooker arrives. It is new and white and shiny. I like gas cookers as I find the hobs cook better than electric ones. We have an electric one at the moment and it took some getting used to. However, I digress.

The man does not arrive to connect it to the mains and we are hungry. Not that hungry as we have been living on a diet of sandwiches, pot noodles and takeaways. The nearest chip shop was about 30 seconds away which in no way was a chore to walk to. Good chips as well.

With not being able to get hold of anyone to come and connect the cooker up, Mrs P has the bright idea that she should do it. She had done it before she said. Ah, dear readers, you may be laughing now but believe me another night of pizza and Chinese was one night too many. She grabs the hose coming out the back of the cooker, screws it into the tap thing (that�??s a technical gas fitters term �?? I looked it up on the web), and voila! We had a working cooker.

For two weeks Mrs P kept walking into the kitchen and smelling gas. As I have the sense of smell of someone with no nose I didn�??t notice. We carried on regardless thinking it was just when we turned the gas on before we lit the flames.

Then one day we came home from work, did our normal routine and put the telly on. Then we realised we could smell gas in the hallway. We phoned the gas people and said we could smell gas. They said don�??t turn on any lights or flick any switches or operate anything electrical. I pointed out that before I had telephoned the gas people we had walked in through the front door, put the hall light on, walked into the lounge and put the light on and then put the telly on. Bugger.

Anyhoo, the gas man came out and looked at the cooker. The problem was due to the hose connected to the gas tap thingy on the wall. When it is screwed in the gas fitter uses a Vaseline type stuff to seal the thread in the screw to prevent gas seepage. The gas man was shocked that the idiot that had fitted the cooker had not used it and at any time we could have died in a fiery gas explosion that would have lit up the neighbourhood for miles around. I looked at Mrs P. �??Bastard cowboys!�?? I said. She looked sheepish and said nothing.

The gas man fixed the problem and left. We cooked dinner. It was probably chips.

Wedding Woe

2007-02-13T08:52:00.000Z

We arrive in Southall.

The train journey from home had lasted for 3 hours and included a change at Reading. We were cold and in need of coffee when we arrive at Stef and Sherrys new flat.

We like their flat and their hamster (Scampi) is cute.

After a rest and a chat we venture onto the Southall high street in search of wedding clothes. There are lots of shops and we weave backwards and forwards across the road popping into all the shops that sell clothes. It was great fun and not as stressful as we thought it would be. There were some really nice outfits and some not so nice. The one outfit I saw Mrs P wearing was absolutely stunning. She looked beautiful in it and I have to confess there was a slight tear in my eye when she emerged from the changing room. That�??s how lovely she looked.

One shop we visited we found the one member of staff very pushy, particularly towards Mrs and Sherry. She wanted to know everything and was very proud that they had provided all the outfits for Bride and Prejudice. This has to be verified.

Mrs P and I both found wedding clothes that we liked in the same shop. While she tried hers on upstairs (out of sight from me as I am not allowed to see it), I tried mine on. It looks and feels great. It is also highly top secret until The Big Day.

Once the outfit Mrs P wanted was all packed up I went to pay for it. At that point there was Woe.

The shop assistant swiped my card and asked me to enter my PIN number. Mrs P was excited as she had her wedding dress. I was nervous as I was buying her wedding dress. I entered my PIN. The machine bleeped in a way which did not sound good.

I had put the wrong PIN number in.

I then realised that I couldn�??t remember what my PIN number was. I tried to relax and took deep breaths. Mrs P tried to calm me down. The shop assistant looked on, the card reader held out in front of her as she waited for me to enter my PIN again.

I took a deep breath and entered my PIN.

It beeped again. This was a beep that said �??If you try this again I shall lock your card�??.

I had a think and tried a number.

I locked my card.

I felt awful. Mrs P ran from the shop in tears finding the whole thing overwhelming.

Fortunately Stef came to the rescue and he was able to help out. God bless you Stef.

I now have my PIN number tattooed on my forehead. Mrs P has a wedding dress.

Stefs oufit can be found here.

Exterminate!

2007-02-09T17:23:00.000Z

Life on Mars

2007-02-04T17:45:00.000Z

Last year the BBC broadcast a fantastic series called Life on Mars. Later this month (14th February) the second series is due to start. As a teaser the TV people have been showing a little teaser trailer based on the classic childrens TV series Camberwick Green.

The trailer is presented here in "BBC Colour".

Disco is not dead! Disco is life!

Beat It

2007-02-02T21:17:00.000Z

Wank Week on Channel 4 has been pulled off according to the BBC. 'nuff said.

Oh Superman

2007-01-28T18:13:00.000Z

Dean Cain's career is spinning in its grave.

Paperback Raita

2007-01-28T18:04:00.000Z

John lennon IS spinning in is grave.

Thriller or Bad?

2007-01-28T17:54:00.000Z

If Michael jackson was dead he would be spinning in his grave to the Bollywood beats.

2006 - What A Year!

2007-01-02T13:32:00.000Z

For most of 2006 I was pretty much out of Blogland. I was off doing other things which although not necessarily as exciting as blogging were more important. Instead of a detailed description of the year month-by-month, day-by-day I will instead present for you the highlights of the year.

1) Mrs. P. and I got engaged. The best thing to happen all year.

2) We went on our first important holiday. Back in May we went for a four night stay in Barcelona. This was really exciting for me as firstly I'd never had a proper holiday abroad. Secondly, we flew and I'd never flown before. Now that is an experience I really want to do again. Barcelona is lovely and friendly, the food is excellent and the weather was perfect. What more could you ask for?

3) Completed two ambitions. a) Flying - See Above. b) Visited La Sagrada Familia. An amazing building that I first heard of through The Alan Parsons Project. The architecture is bonkers in places and you just cannot capture the scope and scale of the building in a few photographs.

4) Moved into a nice house. Our previous rented property was okay when we first moved in and we needed somewhere to live. Unfortunately our landlord was an incompetant fuckwit. He was begging for us to stay when we handed in our notice. The neighbours on the one side were rude and obnoxious. Their son, who we christened "Nob Head" would let his dog shit in our garden. His dad was an incompetant fuckwit. He was not our landlord. We now have a decent landlord, a really nice house which has character (late Victorian terraced cottage) and nice neighbours.

5) Went to see Muse in concert. One of my favourite bands of the moment who were brilliant live. Blackholes & Revelations was the album of 2006 in my mind.

6) Started my NVQ Level 2 in Library and Information Services.

It may not seem like much but it has kept me happy and busy along with all the other stuff I have done but promptly forgotten about.

Who knows what 2007 will bring?

Well, actually I do. There are two things planned.

1) Our wedding. Need I say more?

2) A trip to London in June which will involve seeing Muse play in front of 75,000 people at the new Wembley Stadium.

Exciting things ahead!

The Wicker Man and Related Nonsense

2006-12-11T09:04:00.000Z

The BBC are currently showing an amusing comedy called Jam and Jerusalem on friday nights. The theme tune is a cover version of The Village Green Preservation Society by the Kinks and Mrs P quite likes it. It's a great little track about England being green and pleasant and all that kind of thing which we discovered last night on a Best of the Kinks CD we own. The lyrics can be found here.

Later on in the evening Mrs P declared with a tone that implied she was not to be argued with "I like folk music!". What is worrying about this statement is that she knows a Morris Dancer.

She'll be singing "With a hey-nonny-hey" and building a Wicker Man before we know it.

We are doomed.

The One Ring

2006-12-05T08:12:00.000Z

Happy Days!

2006-11-30T15:41:00.000Z

I gives me great pleasure to annouce to the world that last Friday I proposed to Mrs. P on a bended knee. After the initial shock and surprise had subsided enough for her to breath she said yes!

I will post a picture of the shiny ring what I did buy all on my own once I have worked out how to upload photos from the spanking new digital camera that we own. For the technical bods, it is one of these.

Love you Mrs. P!

I Was A Teenage Nazi

2006-09-12T10:43:00.000+01:00

Yes it's true. I have just realised I was a member of that fascist organisation masquerading as a boys youth club.

In my younger days I was a member of the Boys Brigade. It was a laugh. We done canoeing, camping (the one with tents, not the "ooohhh get you!" kind), hiking, first aid courses, marching and band playing. For a short time I played the bugle until I realised I was rubbish at it.

When I was a member the uniform was a crisp blue shirt, a haversack worn diagonally across the body, a hat, a belt and and armband which each member proudly displayed the badges he had achieved.

A bit like the uniform for the Hitler Youth.

My parents made me do it. I was only obeying orders.

Right, I'm off to burn some books.

The Weekend

2006-09-11T08:06:00.000+01:00

This weekend was mostly pissed up the wall by my purchase of the Lego Star Wars game for the Playstation2. Mrs. P. and I started playing it at just gone 8.00pm Saturday night and we finally went to bed at about 4.00am Sunday. Then we played it most of yesterday as well.

The game is old I know (we got it cheap as a result) it is such great fun! Following the plot of the dreadful prequel trilogy, the game recreate the Star Wars universe. In LEGO! We had a blast completing the storyline part of the game and now we are currently trying to complete it by collecting every item and character available. This is the tricky part and is certainly taking longer than the Storyline part of the game.

Obviously when we have finished this game we will be buying the new game - Lego Star Wars II - The Original Trilogy. It looks even better! Clicky for trailer.

And The Glittering Prizes And Endless Compromises...

2006-09-03T13:02:00.000+01:00

...Shatter the illusions of integrity.

A bit of Rush there for you.

Stef observed that there was no hope for me because I was listening to ELO. Well He will despair for me now. I got home from work on Friday and one of my birthday presents from Mrs. P. had finally arrived from Play.

Rush Replay X3 - three DVDs of Rush live in concert with the added extra of a CD of the Grace Under Pressure tour.

Now, how cool is that?

Very.

Please Tell Us Why You Had to Hide Away

2006-09-01T07:47:00.000+01:00

It is not a nice day in not so sunny Brum. On the walk to work I decided I needed something to brighten the day up with so I searched through the albums on my MP3 player.

I found the perfect happy tunes.

ELO.

Class.

Pocoyo

2006-08-28T18:00:00.000+01:00

I was just surfing the net and while looking at a something about Pluto carstickers Mrs. p. spotted a link to something called Pocoyo. Narrated by Stephen Fry it is a great little animated cartoon about a small child, an elephant, a bird (which Mrs. P. thinks is an owl) and (in my mind) and evil looking duck.

I'm off to watch some more. I suggest you do the same.