[Monica wants to hide from Rachel the fact that she went shopping with Julie, so she creates an alibi.]

Monica: Phoebe, listen. You were with me and we were shopping all day.

Phoebe: What?

Monica: We were shopping and we had lunch.

Phoebe: Oh, all right. What did I have?

Monica: You had a salad.

Phoebe: Oh. No wonder I don’t feel full. -Friends

On Tuesday Couple Wife and Couple Baby met up with me after work to go shopping. I had mentioned to CW that I needed a whole new wardrobe, and since Match and I just got our deposit back from our old place, we figured it was the perfect chance to go on a little spree. I’m fashionally challenged, so CW said she’d love to come along and be my personal shopper. She went through the outlet stores with me, pulling clothes off racks and making me try them on, even if they weren’t in my comfort zone.

I ended up getting a bunch of cute outfits that I never thought I’d like. CW was a great help, and it was a lot of fun. It was a nice bonding experience for the two of us. I bought a cute black dress for my company’s Christmas party next month, and Couple Wife teased me that when Match sees me in it, I’ll have a ring for sure. We also talked about how nice it would be to go on orlando vacations together, the four of us, someday. I can definitely picture me and Couple Wife hanging out with our little ones, going on walks or on these little shopping outings together. I know Match and I will get to where Couple Friends are eventually, but we still have some ducks to get in a row first. Still, I can’t wait for that day to come!

Every year I do research to determine which toy will be the most popular of the Christmas season. This year, it’s a doll: half girl, half unicorn. Catch phrase: [reading box] “my horn can pierce the sky.” Pathetic. I bought out every store in the area over the past couple of weeks, and, as lazy parents become more desperate, I will sell them, at an enormous profit. Isn’t that right, princess? -Dwight, The Office

Match and I had our costumes planned out for Halloween ever since we saw last year’s Christmas episode of The Office. Anyone familiar with that episode? Match was going to go as Dwight, and I was going to go as….

Princess Unicorn

We had the idea, and then while searching through Match’s sister’s closet, we discovered that she had a thrift store dress that worked perfectly as the Princess Unicorn dress. Score! So complete with the crown and fake jewelry, I spent a grand total of $5 on my costume. I think I look a lot like the character, what do you think?

Unfortunately, we determined that Match really couldn’t pull off Dwight. For one thing, his head is too small. And for the other, his hair is too short, and well, he pretty much doesn’t resemble Dwight in any way. Then we thought maybe he could dress up as an old man when he first injured his ankle but we didn’t have any wrinkle cream to make it look like he had wrinkles, and his ankle was almost healed, so we didn’t need a cane. So for a last minute costume, we pulled off this little gem:

Those are donkey ears, that I found last year for $2 in a thrift store and bought on a whim.

If you can’t see in the second picture, that’s a name tag that says Jack. He’s also wearing a ridiculous shirt that says “Welcome to the Gunshow”. Then he went around being a jerk to everyone. Yes folks, he was a jackass.

We had a great time at Birthday Twin’s party, despite most people not having a clue what either of us were. No one seemed to be a fan of satire, or of the show The Office. A couple people got it, but only after I said what I was. Most people thought I was a princess with a weird horn on my head.

Being at Birthday Twin’s house was oddly surreal. He still has a couple of the same roommates he did when we were that sort of couple. There were also a few people there who met me when I’d come over to BT’s late at night, so that was a little awkward. But I introduced Match and he just rolled with the double takes and gave a big grin. At one point when someone asked how we knew BT he laughed and said, well, he used to date my girlfriend before me, but we’re all friends now. Oh, and I went to college with him! He took it all in stride, and was so laid back about it. He was a far better sport than I ever could have been, I must admit.

Birthday Twin was sweet as usual, but he was definitely pretty toasted. In fact, I don’t think I’d ever seen him more than buzzed, and it was safe to say that as the night progressed he could only be called shithoused. At one point he came up to me to take a picture, and instead of a nice picture of the two of us, we got this:

He was dressed as Ron Burgundy and I guess he took his character a little too far. Yes he’s biting my boob. Luckily there was padding and an ill fitting dress, so I didn’t even feel it. Oh, and Match took the picture, laughing his head off. I told you he really is very laid back!

At one point in the evening, BT’s flavor of the month showed up. I didn’t get a chance to talk to her much, and I was really ok not getting to know her. With BT’s current state of mind, I know he’s still not ready for a long term girlfriend, and this girl will probably not last. She seemed nice enough, and her and two girlfriends came dressed as the Three Blind Mice, which was pretty darn cute. They had cute little gray outfits, mouse ears, sunglasses and blind walking sticks. They pulled off cute but not slutty. I was pretty impressed by how many costumes at the party were creative, and not just slutting it up like you normally see on Halloween.

The one weird part of the night happened as I went to fetch refills for me and Match, while he watched some people playing beer pong. I was standing on the steps of the house, headed back to the garage, when Birthday Twin stopped me. He stood there, ok, swayed there, and looked at me, very serious. Then he said, “You know, I have to tell you this. When we were together…the sex…was pretty amazing.”

I did NOT expect him to say that. I expected him to say something typically BT, like, I’m so glad you guys are here, I’m happy for you, that sort of thing. And then that dropped out of his mouth? Me not knowing what to say, I started cracking jokes like I always do when taken off guard. I just said, “Really? I thought I was the type that would just lay there, good to know I’m not bad in bed!” Then I did the ol’ nervous giggle, change the subject really quick thing. The funny part was it didn’t feel like he was hitting on me, I think in really awkward boy way, he was just trying to pay me a compliment. I think saying “cute costume” would have been much more appropriate! But then he sort of snapped out of his drunken haze and said that Match is a great guy, and that he’s glad we came.

With that, the rest of the night went smoothly. I told Match what BT had said, and how it wasn’t super creepy how he said it, just totally random. He both chuckled about it, because we both know that BT is kind of a random guy and that he didn’t mean any harm by it. Match kissed me and said that I’m his, and BT didn’t know what he had when he had me. He gave me a squeeze and whispered, “and I’m not going to be dumb enough to let you get away!”

Ted: How many days are there in October?

Barney: Ah, thirty?

Ted: Dude, I thought we cleared this up last year.

[flashback to last year]

Barney: [as Borat] I like Halloween very much. Is nice! [flashes thumbs-up]

Ted: [in a Borat-style accent] Is also tomorrow.

Barney: Damn it! -How I Met Your Mother

This is my second Halloween with Match. Last year we opted for a couples costume, the first I’d ever done, and I loved it. Match also had to work that year, so we didn’t get to party it up too late. I had wardrobe malfunctions and an unbelievably tight Alice Costume, while Match spent the night trying to keep the White Rabbit hood on his head. This year we’re doing individual costumes, and instead of sexy, I’m going for silly. I’ll reveal the costumes after I take pictures, just to keep you guys guessing.

We’re headed to a party tonight for Outdoor Girl’s birthday, and she’s opted for celebrating by taking us all to the Haunted Corn Maze. Match and I did the corn maze last year, but not the haunted version. I’m a total chicken so I’ll probably be completely freaked out, but it should be fun. Match is still hobbling, but he is able to put weight on his ankle, so he’s being a trooper and tagging along. I just hope I don’t trip him as I run for the nearest exit when I get scared!!

I’m really excited that Outdoor Girl invited us to her party. Last weekend we went to a party at Couple Friends’ house, where Outdoor Couple were there, along with other people we’re starting to become friends with through Couple Friends. We love hanging with that group, and it’s nice to know we’re a part of it. Match gets along great with the other guys, and I have fun with the girls.

Tomorrow night we’re headed to a party at Birthday Twin’s house. It’s going to be one of those classic college parties, and I’m not sure how long M and I will stay there. We’re not wild partiers and we’re definitely not going the sexy route for our costumes, so we’ll stick out like the old fuddy duddy couple we are. But it’ll be fun to make an appearance, and should be a lot better than battling the crowds at the bars.

What’s everyone doing for Halloween this weekend?

Warren: “…if you get caught between the moon and New York City…”

Dottie: You know, the distance between the moon and New York City actually varies due to the moon’s elliptical orbit.

Warren: Oh, elliptical. Well, my, my — they must be using some awfully big words on the Cartoon Network.

Dottie: Actually, Laura, I studied astronomy in college. In fact, I graduated with a perfect G.P.A. Whereas the only 4.0 Warren ever got was on a breathalyzer test. -Greg the Bunny

This week I’ve been incredibly frustrated with my job. Yesterday I felt like I wanted to scream when I was forced to do admin work because our admin assistant was let go. I spent the afternoon organizing office supplies and printing out documents to send to clients. I don’t mind helping out, but I was so bored I wanted to pull my hair out. I’m pretty sure time actually ticked backwards.

So I’ve taken the first step and applied for financial aid for the spring semester, and I’m working on my graduate application. For those of you who have done this, pointers PLEASE! I’m stuck on writing my personal statement for my graduate application, and I’ve got a wicked case of writer’s block.

Not knowing how to approach this essay has me rethinking the entire idea of graduate school. I know it’s just a case of self doubt, but it’s a pretty powerful one. Ok, so it’s confession time. When I was an undergraduate, I had a lot of fun. Way too much fun. The kind of fun that made it impossible to study. I was also in the wrong major, which didn’t help much. I took some very challenging biology classes, and struggled through them. I managed to squeak by and earn my degree, finally getting my crap together my super senior year. Yes kids, it took me 5 years. I’m proud of myself for finishing school, but I can’t say that I’m proud of my GPA. I did apply myself in the end, but there were some semesters in there that are just plain terrible.

I feel in the four years out of school, I’ve had time to grow up, and become more focused. I do think I have what it takes to excel in graduate school, and I do believe I’d be a great teacher. But how do I sell myself to an admissions panel, when my grades say the exact opposite? Outdoor Girl has offered to help me write the essay, and I’m so grateful, because I honestly don’t know what to say.

Have any of you felt like this, or been in this position? How were your undergraduate studies? Did you goof off, or did you buckle down and study hard?