The most important thing in life is your family. There are days you love them, and others you don’t, but in the end they’re the people you always come home to. Sometimes it’s the family you’re born into and sometimes it’s the one you make for yourself.-Carrie, Sex and the City

Last week Match completed his summer job that kept him up late nights. I am so so happy it is done. As a kick off to his freedom, we went on a road trip to Oregon, to visit my parents.

We had the car loaded up with my dog, my parrot, and my Match. It was an 8 hour drive, but it flew by. Originally we were going to stay in a hotel, but after examining the seedy-they-should-charge-by-the-hour-sorry-excuse-for-motels along the way, we opted to drive all night. After a long day of work you would think 8 hours in the car would have been torture, but with Match it was actually fun.

We had a great setup at my folks’ house. They have a little campsite built on the property, surrounded by trees. (I grew up on a quasi farm, complete with goats!) We had my parents camp trailer all to ourselves, with plenty of privacy. It was a little ways to walk up to the house, so we used the four wheeler most of the time. Poor Match didn’t know I was such a speed demon on the trails. He was hanging on for dear life!

We had an amazing weekend and the weather was incredible. Normally it’s about 60 degrees and it was in the upper 80s. When Match started getting crazy ideas in his head about moving to my home town (um…there is a reason I don’t live in a town with only two stop lights and where everyone knows when you sneeze) I had to convince him that it was a freak weather thing. He just laughed and told me he brought the great weather with him. I had to agree, sunshine and good times definitely seemed to follow this man.

My parents warmed to him as quickly as Match’s parents had warmed to me. At one point over the weekend, my mom pulled me aside with tears in her eyes and asked me if she could please like him, and asked if I would keep him around. She knows my track record sadly. I told her that this one was definitely going to be in the picture, of course as long as he wanted to be. She said she that there was something different about him, and the way the two of us interacted. She said she’d never seen me so relaxed and comfortable with anyone before. She said that we clicked together and it was obvious that he loved me. My stepdad tried his gruff act but dropped it after about 5 minutes. Match had him laughing and cracking jokes back and forth.

We did so many things over the weekend, almost too much to write. We experienced the local “flavor” including guys with beer bellies walking around the county fair shirtless proudly displaying tattoos with their home town’s name on their bulging stomachs. So so classy. We also got to watch a bit of the rodeo, and eat our weight in yummy fair food. We checked out the local dive bar where a toothless man tried to give me tips on playing pool. As he walked away he whispered, “Good luck tonight” while eying me. We were both cracking up! We went to the beach and saw the lighthouse that my mother and stepfather were married in when I was 4.

We went for a run along the river where I think a total of five cars passed us in the hour and a half we ran. We cooked dinner for my folks, and Match made his famous Gin Fisses ( a really yummy gin drink that you must try if you’ve never had them. Trust me, they’re delicious). We got to sleep in, relax, and just be together. It was the nicest visit home I think I’ve ever had. It felt so right for Match to be there with me.

Driving home was just as full of conversation as the drive North. After all that time together I still wasn’t tired of his company, and I was thrilled when he asked if he could stay over that night. We both wished we could have had a longer vacation, and going to work was torture the next day. I can’t wait till the next chance I get to bring him home.

You know as well as I do it’s not about what you look like, or your job, or how successful you are. It’s about having people in your life that you love and who love you… that’s all that matters-Miranda, Sex and the City

This past weekend goes down as one of the best I’ve had in a very long time. Friday started strong with Match and I getting ready for a poker party at my friend Brazil and her hubby’s house. When Match walked in, he was dressed in a white shirt and khakis and looked so so fine. He had that whole sexy casual yet kind of dressy look going on. I was so proud to walk into that party with him.

He immediately hit it off with all of my friends; laughing, joking around, and playing a mean game of poker. I sadly lost quickly but I blame it on Match and his constant handsy-ness during the game. It was more than a little distracting! Just as we started settling into a relaxed party environment, Birthday Twin walked in.

I wasn’t sure how it was going to be between Birthday Twin and Match Guy. For that matter, I didn’t know how it was going to be between Birthday Twin and me. I smiled at him and gave him a big hug and told him I was glad he came. He seemed tense, and after the hug he visibly relaxed. Match was amazing-he came right up to BT and shook his hand and made him feel welcome. I could not have been more proud. He even whispered to me that it was okay if I didn’t hug him and kiss him as much as I normally would. He was concerned about BT’s feelings, isn’t that sweet? My heart was so full all night I couldn’t seem to contain myself. After the poker game we said our goodbyes and headed out the door. Brazil was beaming at me and telling me over and over again how much she liked Match. I couldn’t agree more.

As we walked outside I looked up at the stars and noticed that the moon was almost full. The sky looked so beautiful and that’s when Match stopped me as I was headed to the car. He spun me around and looked me in the eyes. “I love you” he said. Then he blushed and looked down and said, “Too soon?” I laughed at him, and playfully smacked his butt and said, “No, too much whiskey!” He’d had a few shots of whiskey at the party and I thought he was just buzzing. Then he scooped me up in his arms and said that he meant it, and it wasn’t the drinks talking. I think I melted all over the sidewalk at that point.

When we crawled into bed later that night he whispered I love you again as I was falling asleep. It was one of those moments where I wasn’t sure if I had dreamed it or if it was real. I feel that way a lot about Match. When we got up in the morning he was grinning at me and said that it wasn’t the whiskey talking and he meant what he’d said.

That day was Match Guy’s cousin’s wedding. I was a little nervous because I was meeting Match’s entire family on his mom’s side. Aunts, Uncles, cousins, the works. The wedding was beautiful and the weather was perfect-not too hot but the sun was shining. The food was so good too-they had this smoked cheddar, that just…ok I’m drooling. There was champagne and great company, adorable kids to watch, and Match’s cousins were a lot of fun. It was nice because it seemed like all of them were paired off, so it felt good to be a part of all the couples. One of Match’s cousins was into palm reading and that was good for a laugh. She was actually incredibly accurate because she knew nothing about me. Yet on my palm she saw my parents divorce, and my OCD tendencies. At one point she grinned and looked at me and said, “Ohh…you’re quite the heartbreaker aren’t you?” I got a kick out of that because some people, like Brazil, see my love life from that point of view. I’m the one to break hearts because I’m the one who usually ends the relationship. What they don’t see is that I wanted so badly for it to work, but when I see that it won’t, I am the one to “man up” and end it. I don’t like things to drag on, especially if I know the guy isn’t interested anymore. She said that I have had a lot of heartbreak and heartache in my life, but that eventually my love line smooths out and I’m happy. Match squeezed my leg at that sentence. His palm reading was pretty great-she said that he was a very special person, and a great catch. Well of course! I’m not blind to his uniqueness.

After the palm reading we danced for most of the night. I was laughing so hard because I’m used to guys who don’t know how to dance and I have to end up leading. The whole time he kept saying, “No no, I lead!” It was too cute. I think I need dance lessons because he is a great dancer.

His family seemed to really like me, and his mom kept hugging me all evening. When we were leaving she gave me a huge hug and kissed me on the cheek. Match was floored, because I guess she only does that to him and his sister. As we left the wedding he told me I was amazing, and he couldn’t believe how well I fit in.

As we were driving home Match annouced that he wasn’t ready to go home. He said that we needed to do something fun, so we decided to go bowling. It was such a hoot, us in our fancy wedding guest attire and hideous bowling shoes. I kept dancing around and hamming it up the whole time. Match ended up bowling one of his best games, 188. I think I settled for a whopping 70 something. Oh yes, I’m definitely signing up for a league. But it didn’t matter because I was with Match so I win.

A person doesn’t have to be perfect to be exactly what you need.-Elliot, Scrubs

I have to apologize for not writing lately but I am dog tired. Match Guy has been working two jobs and getting home anywhere between midnight and 1 am. It’s the only time we’ve been able to see each other, so I wake up and try to spend about an hour together. It is starting to really take its toll on me though because I’m exhausted. I miss him so much and I can’t wait till he is done with this second job. He has Friday and Saturday off, and then just four more days and he’s done. Then it’s a road trip to my parents house and a well deserved vacation for the both of us. At least we have instant messenger during the day, but it’s not the same.

Tomorrow night should be interesting. We’re going to a party; it’s a Poker/Bunco night with a group of my friends. It will be interesting because not only will Match meet the rest of my friends he hasn’t met already, but he will see Birthday Twin. It will be the first time BT and I have seen each other since the last time he spent the night. I’m kind of nervous, but at the same time it will be fun to see BT again. I’ve really missed my friend, but I am unbelievably happy with Match.

With Match working all the time, I’ve had a lot of time to myself. I know it has only been a little over a month of dating Match but I got really used to his company. Going back to dinners along all week has been really hard. I miss him so much, and I have trouble falling asleep without him next to me. When he gets to the house late I’m all groggy but I swear its the best feeling. He told me last night he still can’t believe he found me and that I make him ridiculously happy. I’m still dancing on cloud 9 even with this crazy schedule he’s got going on. I don’t think I could do it with anyone else. I’d be frustrated and annoyed, but with Match I’m just thankful for that hour we spent together. Even though he’s exhausted he asks me about my day and really listens. We tell each other what we did and then we smooch and snuggle. Sometimes we can’t fall asleep because we’re both so excited to see each other.

Saturday we’re going to a wedding together where I will meet his extended family. I think pretty much everyone in his family on his mother’s side will be there. I just can’t wait to dance with him at the reception. We’ve only danced in my living room so this should be a lot of fun. Just the fact that we get to sleep in and I don’t have to rush off to work has me giddy.

We talked for awhile yesterday over instant messenger about moving in together. It’s way early, but it wouldn’t be until January. My lease is up then, and the idea of living with anyone else is silly. He spends every night at the apartment and I can’t think of a better roommate. We’re both clean and organized, and we love to cook for each other. Last time I talked on the phone with Birthday Twin that crazy boy was still mentioning the possibility of us being roommates. As great and understanding as Match has been about my history with BT I’m pretty sure that wouldn’t go over so well, and I wouldn’t want to anyways. BT is a flake and his messiness and disorganization would drive me up the wall. A lot can happen between now and January, but I have a really good feeling that Match Guy is going to become Roommate Guy in the new year. Now wouldn’t that be something?

What I’ll never get is why you could open your heart to someone who broke it into pieces but you couldn’t open it to someone who just wanted to heal it.-Marin, Men in Trees

I love how lately when I get home from work Match Guy is there waiting for me with a warm smile and a big hug. It is such a great end to a long day. Yesterday when I came home he grabbed me and said, “Do you know you’re amazing and that every day I like you more and more?” He always does that, with the sweet things to say.

Since I’ve been over here on Cloud 9 with lilies and happy thoughts abounding, I got to thinking about my past. As bad as guys have been before Match, without them I would never have fully understood just how great this guy really is. I know most of my readers seem to enjoy my sappy gushings about how great Match Guy is, I’m sure a little spice won’t hurt either. So for today’s entry, I think I’ll take a little trip down memory lane.

I’ll start with the last real boyfriend before I started this diary. I wrote about him briefly in an earlier entry but I didn’t tell all the lovely (aka horrid) details about our trist, if you could call it that. So without further ado I give you the story of the Unemployed Guy.

It all started back when I was 12 I guess. I was a little country girl at the fair and I met this boy. We had one of those nights where the two of us talked until the wee hours and it seemed like we really clicked. Of course we were little kids so nothing ever happened beyond that talk. Fast forward two years later to the summer before my Sophomore year, and a chance meeting with that same boy. We began dating and at first it all seemed so wonderful. We talked late into the night like teenagers do, about anything and everything. We were always great on the phone. He lived half an hour from me, in the next town, so our relationship was technically long distance, especially since neither of us could drive. Because it was long distance I built him up in my head and I made him out to be this great guy. I was a pretty innocent kid back then. I didn’t party, I had never even been drunk or high. Unemployed Guy on the other hand was an avid pot smoker and drank every weekend with his friends. Needless to say my parents loathed him. Even my friends warned me about him, and worried that I was getting involved with a guy who was going nowhere.

To his credit, he never let me party with him, and when he smoked he wouldn’t let me go near it. He was very protective, and it was like he held me to a higher standard. We never did more than kiss and cuddle, and he was an absolute gentleman. Those were definitely his strengths. But the above mentioned weaknesses eventually drove a wedge between us, until one day I asked him which he’d rather do, party and smoke or be with me. On my 15th birthday, he told me he would rather party, and he broke up with me. On my birthday. From that day on my parents went from loathing to boiling hatred of this boy.

That wasn’t the end of him of course. For years later, he’d pop back into my life. I was devastated after our breakup, and I didn’t date for a really long time after that. For 15, I was pretty brokenhearted. Months later I found out that my parents had been blocking calls that Unemployed Guy was leaving me. Apparently he’d called over and over again, usually drunk, to tell me how sorry he was and how much he cared. The only reason I found out about these things was one night I happened to come home right when he called and I got to the call first. In typical teen rage I freaked out on my parents for keeping him from me, but looking back I realized they were just trying to help. This guy was no good, and they knew it. They forbid me to see him, which of course made him all the more irresistible. I snuck phone calls with him back and forth, but I eventually got sick of him only calling drunk and I ended communication. I moved on and started dating my High School Sweetheart. But Unemployed Guy kept coming back into the picture. All through high school I would hear from him, and he’d come in and out of my life. Finally my senior year after not seeing him for two years, he met with me in person. He asked me to choose between him and High School Sweetheart. I was torn, but ultimately I said no.

Later on, in college, he contacted me again. We started talking every night and had our great phone conversations again. Just when I let my guard down, and came home to see him in person that Christmas, he of course had changed his mind and was cold and withdrawn again. I vowed then and there that I would never talk to him again and I told him to stay out of my life for good.

I got a drunken phone call from him a year and a half later. I found out this happened to be a month before he got married. A lovely little detail don’t you think? So I gave him a good and proper go Fuck yourself and ended that conversation real quick.

I thought that was the end of him, until November of 07. I hadn’t heard anything from him, but I kept in touch with his cousin who had always been a good friend. He gave me updates from time to time on Unemployed Guy. One update he told me that Unemployed Guy had hurt his wrist in a bad welding accident on the job, and was disabled and unable to work as a welder. I felt sorry for him, but didn’t think much else about it. Then I got a myspace message with his full name as the subject, from an unknown contact. It turns out it was his roommate, and the message was from Unemployed Guy. He gave me his phone number and asked that I call him. This was right when Coast Guard Guy was off in boot camp, and I was lonely and confused. I ended up caving and calling him. I heard UG’s sob story of how he couldn’t work, and he’d been on disability for a year. He also told me that his wife had left him when he became disabled. I’m a big ol’ softy and that really hit home with me. I couldn’t believe that this woman would leave him in his time of need.

We talked as friends for a month or so after that, and when CG did the awful thing he did, UG was there for me, via phone. He told me how he had changed over the years, and he wasn’t the same guy he had been when we’d dated. He said I never left his thoughts, and he always cared deeply about me. He ended up driving the 8 hours distance we lived apart to see me for New Year’s Eve. It was incredible, and I got completely swept up in the idea of him. Here was a romance, with a man I had known for 12 years of my life, and I thought finally we could have our happy ending. We talked about him moving to California and starting new with me. We talked about how he could get a job here, and go to school and get his life together. So much talk.

I won’t bore you with more of the details, but I’m sure you’ve already guessed what happened next. Unemployed Guy did what he does best. He started withdrawing from me emotionally, and our phone calls became fewer and fewer. He started talking about his ex, and almost sounded wistful. I reminded him that he was better off, because now he had me. He would say things that made it seem like he would have been happier if she would just take him back. I couldn’t believe it! I shelled out a lot of cash to fly home to see him for a weekend where we went to a cabin in the snow, and before that I drove 4 hours to meet him halfway for a romantic weekend getaway in a nice suite, in which I paid for everything. When we went to the cabin in the snow, he chose that time to tell me that he had a lot of his life he still needed to figure out, and even though he loved me, he needed to be selfish right now. Sound familiar? The same words Coast Guard Guy had used on me.

I remember just sitting there like I’d been slapped in the face. I told him I was helping him get his life back together. I had researched schools, grands and disability loans he could qualify for. I had even offered him my place to stay, rent free. I looked into his eyes and realized that even though this guy sitting in front of me was older than the guy I had dated when I was 14, he was still deep down that selfish, confused boy that had dumped me on my birthday.

I packed my bags that weekend and flew home, knowing that was officially the end of us, even though we didn’t admit it. We talked a few more times, had a few more awkward conversations. Eventually those faded and I was alone as I had been when Coast Guard Guy left. Still, I felt stronger because I had finally kicked a bad habit.

So last night, while snuggling up to Match Guy when he got home from a 15 hour work day, he told me he was going to have to work a few more late nights this month. He’s working at the oh so famous Bohemian Grove for July. He kissed my neck and said, “Well just look at it as more money for fun and trips for you and me.” I couldn’t help but think of how it was like night and day comparing him to the Unemployed Guy. Here’s a man who works hard so he can take me out. And I’ve never met a guy who is more emotionally there for me. And that friends is why I am thankful for the guy who emotionally withdrew from me. Look at what was waiting for me just around the corner.

I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting,
challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous. -Carrie, Sex and the City

These past few weeks has been a whirlwind and I can’t believe it’s already the 8th of July. Man time really does fly when you’re having fun. I can honestly say that I’m falling in love with Match Guy. It is incredible how he seems to love everything about me. From the way I smile to the silly dorky little dances I do when I’m excited.

I went away last weekend to Oregon to visit family and left my dear Match Guy to take care of my pets. It was the first time we’d spent more than a night apart since we started our sleepovers. Ever since we met there has only been one day that we didn’t see each other for at least part of the day. Normally with boyfriends I have no problem leaving for a weekend. Sure I miss them a little but I’m so busy with family I barely think about it. Such was not the case this time. Everything I did or saw reminded me of Match. I was constantly texting him or sending him pictures of what was going on. I know he’s going to get along great with my goofy aunts and uncles and cousins. We had such a great time and I just wanted so badly to share it with him. It was nice because he was feeling the exact same way. He kept saying he’s never like this but he missed me bad.

Before I left we had a nice week together. We went grocery shopping and did all of these really domestic things. It feels so natural to cook with him, or go to the mall. I hate shopping but he made it fun. On Thurs the 3rd we watched the fireworks in my town. We got a blanket and we packed a yummy snack of frozen blueberries and chocolate chips (yu-hummm) and snuggled up together and gazed at the fireworks. I know it’s cheesy but there were my own set of fireworks going off in my head when he kissed me.

I got to meet Match’s best friend right before I left. The three of us went to breakfast and afterward Match’s friend asked if I had a sister. He said I was great and he really liked me. I’m so in!

After I got back from my trip seeing Match was indescribable. We were both so excited we just kept hugging and kissing each other. As we were driving home a song came on the radio and Match said it should definitely be our song. I could not agree more! Here are the lyrics, and yes it is country. I’m a closet fan and don’t make fun, the words are perfect.

Going out of my mind these days,
Like I’m walkin’ round in a haze.
I can’t think straight, I can’t concentrate.
And I need a shave.

I go to work and I look tired.
The boss man says: “Son, you’re gonna get fired.”
This ain’t your style, and from behind my coffee cup,
I just smile.

What a beautiful mess!
What a beautiful mess I’m in.
Spendin’ all my time with you,
There’s nothin’ else I’d rather do.
What a sweet addiction that I’m caught up in.
‘Cos I can’t get enough,
Can’t stop the hunger for your love.
What a beautiful, what a beautiful mess I’m in.
Ahhh.

This morning put salt in my coffee.
I put my shoes on the wrong feet.
I’m losin’ my mind, I swear; It might be the death of me,
But I don’t care.

What a beautiful mess!
What a beautiful mess I’m in.
Spendin’ all my time with you,
There’s nothin’ else I’d rather do.
What a sweet addiction that I’m caught up in.
‘Cos I can’t get enough,
Can’t stop the hunger for your love.
What a beautiful, what a beautiful mess I’m in.
Ahhh.

Is it your eyes? Is it your smile?
All I know is that you’re drivin’ me wild.

-Beautiful Mess, Diamond Rio