Being married and committing to spend your life with someone doesn’t always work out. But just because you got it wrong the first time (or maybe second!) it doesn’t mean you have to give up on finding love. A divorce is a traumatic and not to mention expensive time so don’t push yourself into dating before you’re ready. Being single can be exciting and therapeutic. But when you’re ready to move on there are three things you should do to help you get back into dating again:

Find time for yourself.
In any long term relationship it can be difficult to spend time alone. You spend all of your time together and all the gym classes and nights out get forgotten. It’s tempting to let things slide when you’re in a comfortable relationship. But now you’re single take a positive from this and join a gym, go out with friends and be a bit selfish for once. It’ll make you feel healthier, happier and more confident – ready to start dating again!

Discover a new interest.
The best way to get through a tough time is to keep busy, and a divorce is no different. Take your mind off things and keep focused on the positive by finding a new hobby or interest. Getting out there and making new friends as an adult can be daunting, but discovering a new hobby will give you the opportunity to meet new people and to learn new skills. Relationships are often centred on work and family life so it’s good to be thrown out of your comfort zone and into an environment with similar people. You never know who you might meet!

Spend quality time with friends and family.
When you get a divorce it can feel like you’re starting a whole new life and it’s great to get out there and meet new people. But it’s equally important to maintain the special relationships you already have. If you share friends with your ex it can be complicated, but who’s to say that only one of you gets to keep them. It’s important when you’re starting a new life not to leave the people you care about behind. Spend time doing the things you enjoy with the people you love and even join reunion sites to reconnect with people you’ve lost along the way.

Whatever you do, the important thing to remember is not to put pressure on yourself to meet a new partner. Think about what you love doing, as you are more likely to find your ideal partner in the places you enjoy. But no matter what, have a good time and enjoy yourself!

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What does it mean to, “Take it slow”? When you are in a new relationship you might be tempted to go to the next level, but what if your significant other wants to slow things down? What does that mean? Does it mean the same thing to everyone? Check out 10 definitions of taking it slow.

Let’s still see other people: This may be more a fear of commitment than taking it slow. If your significant other wants to continue to see other people then there may be more going on there. If you are good with seeing other people for now and not getting into a heavy relationship then great, but if you are looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right then you really need to clarify things.

Let’s wait on sex: Traditionally I think this is one of the main points of taking things slowly. One or both of you want to make sure that this relationship is right before jumping into bed. In this day in age with all of the diseases that you can catch from not being safe, it’s a good idea to know who you are sleeping with.

I want more romance: Another idea of taking it slow is that you want to be more old- fashioned and bring back the romance. There is nothing wrong with bringing a woman a flower or flowers. It’s sweet to just hold hands and spend some time getting to know each other. You can always speed things up if the time seems right to both of you, but it’s hard to go from sleeping together to just holding hands. Seems a bit backward.

Sleeping together with no sex: Some people think taking it slow is to not rush into sex, but sleeping in the same bed is fine. If this is fine with both parties then that’s great, but it might not be everyone’s idea of taking it slow. It takes a lot of trust to sleep with someone and not know what they are doing while you are sleeping. You might still want to know someone pretty well before you have a sleepover.

3-5 dates before becoming exclusive: To some taking it slow isn’t really as slow as you might think. If you are used to sleeping together on the first date I supposed waiting for a few more dates before you sleep together is taking slowly. Just make sure that you are both on the same page on the relationship. If she is pushing you to have sex and you want to wait so that you don’t mess things up, then let her know that.

I’m not that into you sexually: Of course no one is going to tell you this straight out. But it might be the reason behind wanting to take it slow. Especially with women, once they get to know a man better they will trust him enough to tell him what makes her tick in bed. If she is not blown away by you sexually at the beginning she may just want to ease into it a bit.

She’s not that into sex: Taking it slow could mean that she wants to be friends first and then if things progress she might be ready for sex later. Some women aren’t that into sex or they are really shy about their bodies and they want to make sure they can trust the guy thoroughly before getting naked with him.

You might be, “The One”: Sometimes when people meet someone so special that they start thinking that they might be “the one” for them then they might want to slow things down. You want to be sure if you think this might be the last person you ever sleep with. Rushing into things might spoil the romance of the whole courtship.

I want to get to know you better: Sex throws a whole new aspect into a relationship. Everything changes and instead of anticipating and being excited you’re all, been there-done that. If more people waited, we might have fewer divorces.

I don’t want to get hurt again: To some, having sex is a very emotional thing and for women especially this connection often leads to attachment. If you’ve jumped into the sack too quickly in past relationships and they just end in failure then taking it slow could just mean that this time I want things to be different. I don’t want to get hurt again. I want to be sure. This is the smart way to go in my opinion.

Article courtesy of Best Dating Sites

Online dating is a crowded and cluttered pool, full of great and not-so-great catches. But what can a man do to stand out from the rest of the fish? What do women really look for on men’s online profiles? Well, here are the top three things women look for first. If men can cover these three things well, they will greatly increase their chances of finding a perfect match, or at least a normal date.

Good Picture – This may sound superficial, but women want a handsome man just as much as men want a beautiful woman. The difference here is that our definitions of attractive may vary. Most women are not looking at the size of your chest, your abs, or your hind end. They are looking at your face. The way you hold yourself. The look in your eyes. I’m not encouraging a ‘smolder’, but an authentic, clear picture is worth a thousand words. So you may be a little thick or you haven’t cleared up all your acne or you wear glasses. So what? I’d rather see that than some vague, off-centered webcam shot or a distant photo of you on a hillside somewhere. Besides, what good does it do for you to hide what you look like in the long run? You will have to meet them in person sometime if you are really looking for a relationship. Clear away the overly-superficial now, but don’t frighten away the normal people with an odd profile picture.

Confident but Not Arrogant – Your online profile should say a lot about you. One thing woman think: if you aren’t willing to put in the time to fill it out, then you aren’t willing to put in the time to create significant relationships either. But how do you fill out all those sentimental questions without scaring women away? Simple. Be confident, but not arrogant. You can talk about yourself. This is the place to do it. I don’t want to read a profile about how great your pastimes are or your dog; I want to read about you. But don’t go too far. I don’t want to read a list of medals you’ve won, the kilometers you’ve run, or the mountains you’ve climbed. Sure, you can reference them, in passing, but don’t make that the center of your profile. Perfect the balance of confident and strong without being overwhelming and prideful.

Deliberate – Last but not least; be clear in what you want. If you are only interested in sexy, skinny woman with big breasts, say that. It’s not politically correct, but I’d rather check you off the list now than try to talk to you and find it out later. You might even get one of those women to flirt with you; you never know. Maybe you’re not that extreme, but you do desire women who are shorter than you or like sports or dogs or something reasonable. Say it. Even if I’m not that type, I’ll admire you for knowing what you want and not being afraid to ask for it. Women would be better off if we did the same thing.

These three things are just little glimpses in what’s going on in a woman’s head. Women look for so many things at once that it’s not even amusing. You can’t hope to ace them all. But you can start out on the right foot by making sure you get these three things right. There are normal woman out there. The more practical and assured you are in your own profile, the more normal responses you’ll get. One last thing: if you’re not online regularly, don’t expect to get a lot of responses. You have to put time and effort in to get quality stuff out. If that’s not going to work for you, I suggest going back to the single’s bars.

Mary Edwards is one of the contributors and editors for dating sites. She is passionate about thought leadership writing, regularly contributes to various career, social media, public relations, branding, and parenting and online dating community. She can be reached at edwardsmary936 AT gmail.com.

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It’s no secret that maintaining a long-distance relationship requires a huge amount of work and dedication. Whether it’s the result of deployment, relocation or an online romance, being separated from one another can be the most difficult things a couple ever goes through. Here are some tips to help make the separation more bearable.

Stay Positive – Fight the temptation to hunker down with an MP3 player full of sad songs and a bottle of wine. Instead, try to concentrate on the positive aspects of your relationship.

Focus On Future Plans – When the pressure of being separated gets to be a bit too much, it helps to focus on the future. Whether it’s the next meeting or the big picture, thinking about what you’re working towards and waiting for can make it all seem worthwhile.

Get Out of the House – Go out. Go to the park or a museum, out for a walk or to dinner with friends. Doing something fun will keep your mind off the separation and will give you something to talk about the next time you’re on the phone.

Get a Hobby – All too often, adults let hobbies and pastimes fall to the wayside in the tedium of work and day to day responsibilities. Recapturing the joy of a hobby can be a great way to relieve stress from many aspects of your life, not to mention offer an enjoyable distraction for the times when talking to your guy just isn’t feasible.

Cultivate Your Own Interests – It’s so easy to be influenced by the likes and dislikes of a significant other that sometimes we lose sight of our own interests. Even if it’s as simple as watching a movie that your honey wouldn’t have much desire to see, using the time apart as a way to keep your own interests alive can make the separation seem shorter.

Trust Him – Trust can be an issue in any relationship, but it’s definitely compounded when there are miles between you. Making an effort to maintain trust in your relationship is arguably the most important aspect of keeping a long-distance relationship strong; there’s no question that it makes those long nights alone easier to bear.

Be Realistic About Communication – There are going to be days when even a short conversation simply isn’t feasible, especially if you’re in different time zones. Having rigid expectations about how often you speak can put a huge amount of pressure on your relationship. Instead, try to look at every conversation as a pleasant surprise.

Invest in a Web Cam – Sometimes a telephone just isn’t enough, even if the conversation lasts for hours. Being able to see your sweetie will do wonders for your morale, so a web cam might be the most powerful weapon at your disposal.

Start an Exercise Regimen – Exercise releases mood-boosting endorphins and fosters an all-around feeling of well being, so building a workout routine might be another way to combat the stress of separation.

Form a Support System – Even having just one friend that can identify with your situation can go a long way. Your friends are vitally important, and can help keep you grounded.

Though it can sometimes feel like it will never end, remember that the separation won’t last forever. Staying as optimistic as possible and keeping the end goal in sight will help, as will having a clear plan for the future. Though it may be difficult, try to treasure the time you have to yourself and avoid worrying about things that can’t be changed immediately.

More Dating Articles like this available at Best Dating Sites.

Meeting a date’s dad for the first time can be a very stressful event for teenagers. Listed below I have included ten tips for teens before meeting their date’s dad; that will work for both guys and girls.

Clean Up. First impressions are everything to a dad. Before you meet him, make sure that your appearance is neat, clean and well groomed. If you come in looking scruffy, he is sure to make a bad judgment from that. Dress conservative, but proper for the event.
Turn Off Your Phone. If you are going to meet your date’s dad, you really should be turning off your phone. The last thing he wants to see is how fast you can text. Also, if it is turned off you will be less likely to get tempted to answer or look at it during your meeting.
Do Your Homework. Find out a little about your date’s dad prior to meeting him for the first time. Then you will have time to learn more about the subjects he is interest in, and can strike up a conversation that appeals him.
Research the Past. Find out from your date what their dad thought of his/her past boyfriends/girlfriends. This will give you a chance to gauge how he will treat you, and what to expect when meeting for the first time.
Prepare for Grilling. Just like you would do for a job interview, think of questions that may come up. Be prepared to answer awkward questions and have a prepped response for anything you are not comfortable talking about.
Find Out if He Has Allergies. The last thing you want to do, when walking in to meet your date’s dad, is set him off on an allergic reaction. If he has an allergy to dogs, make sure you stay away from Rover before going to meet him.
Be On Time. Nothing says slacker more than someone who is running late. You want to impress the dad with promptness, not repel him by making him wait.
Avoid Disagreements. You can quickly turn off your date’s dad by arguing, criticizing or embarrassing your date. While you should always treat your date with respect, this is the time to be on your very best behavior.
Humor. You will definitely want to show your date’s dad that you have a sense of humor. However, this is not the time to make political, religious, or off color, rude jokes. Keep your remarks clean and tasteful.
Do Not Complain. This is not the time to complain about all the things that bother you about your date. He is after all, the dad, and probably already knows all his child’s faults. If you complain about your date’s behavior in any way, you are essentially telling his/her dad that they did a bad job raising their child.

The biggest things to remember when meeting your date’s dad is; be prepared, be on your best behavior, and most of all, do not, I repeat, do not mention any of your previous dates!

Article courtesy Best Dating Sites

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Many things can damage a relationship but few are more lethal than broken trust. If you’ve broken your partner’s trust in a moment of foolishness, how do you go about winning it back?

Rena from Denver, CO writes:
I got mad and made a threat to this guy I was dating. I know this makes me look bad, but things just happened between us and before I knew it we were dating. I threatened to tell his family about us when we got in a fight one day. I’m a very temperamental person and I keep escalating the situation until it blows up in my face. now he wont talk to me at all. He said that once I made the threat he shut me out. I really like this guy and I realize I have anger problems and I work hard to resolve them. but he doesn’t understand this his lack of communication led to me being angry in the first place. I’ve apologized many times, I don’t know what else to do. Is there anything else I can do?

I do think this situation is resolvable, but it’s going to take you reaching out to him first. I know he isn’t talking to you for the moment, which is tough on its own to fix. Have you tried reaching him through a mutual friend? That can be a good approach since not only will it get your message delivered, but it will also give him the benefit of the mutual friend’s good opinion of you. If that doesn’t work, I’d suggest a hand-written letter since that that shows effort and also tends to catch a person off-guard; people seldom receive hand-written letters anymore and there’s a good chance if he gets one from you he’ll read the contents. Just don’t deliver it to his house—make sure to send it to the office, or even walk up to him in person and hand it to him yourself.

I don’t think the reason that he shut you out is your anger so much as the breach of trust you created when you threatened him. I understand that you are frustrated with his situation with his family and want him to make a decision sooner or later about who he really wants to be with. These things do take time though; this is a major life change, and it is important for him to have the chance to tell his family his decision in his own way. The way in which he tells them could determine how he feels about that choice for the rest of his life. If he chooses to be with you but the way in which his family finds out is destructive, he may regret his choice, even if it was the “right” one. What you’re dealing with is hopefully the protective urge that caused him to start a family in the first place and not shame. That’s a good trait. If he finds a constructive way to tell them about you (especially if children are involved), then there will be fewer emotional scars all around, including for you.

That being said, how do you win back his trust? My suggestion is to give him some collateral. If you trust him, then think of something you don’t want anyone to know about you, something of equal proportion if you can, and tell him that thing. That way you’ll be standing on equal ground. If he feels that you no longer have the advantage on him, and sees that you are willing to trust him with something sensitive, then he may finally feel ready to open up to you again. Let him know that you are very sorry for breaking his trust (not just for your anger management issues), and that you understand the importance of him being able to choose the way in which he communicates his choice to his family. But don’t let him put it off forever—figure out how long you’re willing to wait on him and explain that you are looking for more communication, and that you need him to make up his mind. You deserve to be treated with fairness and respect in this situation, just as he does, and that will need to come from him as much as from you. Let us know how things work out.

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What constantly surprises me is the lack of effort people put into their dating lives (both men and women). They will spend 12-14 years in school and 4 years in college to get a good job, but they will invest almost no time in improving their love lives.

Crazy, huh? A recent relationship survey showed that to most women, their husband or partner is more important to them than their job. Yet they have spent almost no time discovering the important things to catch and keep a great man:

-> What it is that attracts a great guy.
-> How to keep him faithful.
-> How to get him to invest in a relationship.

Think about that for a minute. When was the last time you sat down and figured out what you needed to do to find and keep a man that was attractive, charming and someone you would like to introduce to your friends?

Most single girls answered that they just needed to be a little thinner, dress a little better or be in better shape. This is great advice if you are just looking for a man who wants sex and doesn’t particularly care about you or how you feel.

But what about finding a man that does care about you? A man that wants to spend time with you. A man that doesn’t want the date to end. A man that feels a pang of jealousy when he sees you with anyone but him?

This is where good looks will not help you. He may pretend that he likes you just so he can get you into bed one more time. But what about the guy who isn’t only concerned with hanging out after 9pm? What about the guy who just wants to spend time with you?

Like I said before, this is where your looks will not help you. But what you do and say will.

Because most women never invest the time and energy into learning what it is that captivates a man and makes him crave you, there are only a few that truly know the secret of catching and keeping a man’s heart.

I once met a girl that knew how to capture a man’s heart. She was amazing. Every time I saw her, I felt a little dizzy. Every kiss felt better than the last. And every time we had sex, I was in heaven.

Needless to say, when she left me I was truly heartbroken. It’s been over 2 years and I still haven’t met anyone that comes close to her.

Below you’ll find some of the dating advice that guests have written for the site. It’s certainly nowhere near as helpful as the information that you’ll find in the book, but hopefully you’ll be able to find some useful tips in there.

Let’s be real for a minute. There is not one perfect piece of dating advice for women to fix your love life and find the man of your dreams. Luckily there are some really great things you can start doing now to increase you success with men and give yourself the best possible chance of finding the man of your dreams.

Not just advice for attracting men, but getting into great, long- lasting relationships with guys too.

At the end of this page there are more articles with dating advice for women, but for now there is some core information that you always need to keep in mind when either flirting and chatting with guys or when you are in a relationship with them.

1. Get a life

What does this mean exactly? Make sure you take care of your life and your needs first. Make sure that your health, job/school and other relationships are in order.
Guys may be attracted to you because of your looks, which can be great, but if the rest of your life is a train wreck then any potential relationship will not last.

On top of this, you will have other things going on in your life, which leads us to…

2. Do not drop anything for a guy

So you met the guy of your dreams last weekend. Now he wants to hang out on Wednesday evening. But you already organized to go for drinks with the girls on Wednesday evening. You may want to ditch the girls and go on a date with this guy. But and there is a big but….

Dropping everything for a guy is not attractive. Guys may appreciate it for a date or two. But they will quickly grow bored of you because you just become like every other girl to him. This is why having an active social life is so important. This is a really conuter-intuitive bit of dating advice for women, but have fatih, it works! Remember how you really wanted that one guy because you could never get his full attention? He was a challenge….

3. Be a challenge

Guys like girls that they have to chase after. They value girls they have to catch more than pushovers.

Imagine the Super Bowl (strange analogy, but please listen). It’s the ultimate prize for a football player. They spend all of high school and college just to have the chance to make a team that might never even make it to the Super Bowl. It’s incredibly tough and 99.99% of football players never make it. But for the ones that do, it’s the ultimate prize. They value it because it’s a challenge. They don’t value football socks as much because you can get them in a shop or borrow them.

You need to be the Super Bowl, not just another pair of stinky football socks, lol!

So in the dating world, that means you have to make men work hard to win you over. You need to be a challenge and we all know that men love challenges

4. Have standards

Being a challenge is one thing, but having standards is another. Just because a guy is cute, rich, captain of his high school football team or has a great job does not mean you should start dating him.

Yes you may be attracted to him and enjoy flirting with him, but if you know he is a player, then your best bet is to stay away unless you are happy to be tossed aside for the next girl he wants.

There are two things you need to do.

First does he respect you? Is he the kind of guy that will treat you properly or will he just tell his friends about every detail?

Then you will probably be wondering is her attracted to you. Check out the article for some great tips to know the signs to look out for if he is attracted to you.

5. Do not treat him as your emotional sponge*

Maybe you had a bad day at work or had a fight with your family. The most unattractive thing you can do is to pour out all your feelings thinking it will get the guy you want.

Sure guys are logical and want to fix things. But at the start of a relationship, unloading all your problems onto a guy is not smart. It smells of ‘help fix my problems, I can’t do it myself’.

This is probably the harshest bit of dating advice for women you’ll hear, but sometimes you really have to work hard to make a relationship work.

(*This is super important at the start of any relationship but less so as it becomes more serious)

6. Do not reward bad behavior

If a guy cancels a date with you without a decent reason or teases you too much in front of his/your friends, the worst thing you can do is smile and laugh.
He needs to know when he has stepped over the line. There is no need to throw your drink at him. But ignore him for a little bit. If it happens again, you need to tell him straight up when you are alone that you are walking if he ever tries it again.

It might sound harsh or mean. Well that’s because it is. But relationships aren’t always a breeze. The good ones take work and not rewarding bad behavior is probably the most imposrtant point to take from this dating advice for women.

7. Let him open up when he wants to

Ever wonder what he’s thinking about.

“How come he never tells me how he feels?”

Here’s the thing. If a guy is truly mad about you, then he will open up when he is ready.

Prodding and pleading with him to open up about his feelings will get him doing the exact opposite (the scientific term is cognitive dissonance folks). If he does open up it’s only because he felt forced to and will resent you for it.

8. Be real

Everybody has an ideal version of themselves that they would like other people to see. They hope that the guy they are trying to attract sees them this way too. Perfect beauty, perfect life.

You’re not the only one. Guys do this too. They act macho and like to pretend that every girl wants them.

It’s okay to present yourself as perfect for the first few dates but if you feel like you have to always be ‘on’ then you will put unneeded stress on yourself. This is probably the most important of all the dating advice for women that you can use if you want your relationships to last in the long term.

Added to this, the guy you are with will start to notice cracks and slowly start questioning whether or not you are who you say you are.

So you need to be real when flirting, chatting and dating guys. If they don’t like you for who you are then don’t bother with them.

Does this mean I should tell them about my problems straight away.

HELL NO!

Just don’t desperately try to hide every single little and imperfection and blemish.

BE REAL

Hope you enjoyed this introduction to dating advice for women!

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He’s Got Talent

Whether it’s his guitar-playing ability, his handyman expertise or penchant for photography, women love a man who has a passion and is good at it. There’s something very alluring about a lively, interesting guy with skills!

His Listening Ability

Guys, maybe we impress easily, but the fact that you actually remember how we order our lattes or that our favorite writer’s new novel is out is a huge deal! A guy who hears us and remembers our favorite things is extremely sexy. The ability to just listen and not necessarily give us direction is also a bonus.

Smarty Pants

Long after the looks fade, there’s a trait that can keep us in love forever. It’s called intelligence. A man who’s got that has a big advantage in life and love.

A Great Smile

In the physical realm, we all prefer different body types and sizes. One thing most women agree upon and notice immediately is a guy with a genuine smile. Having nice teeth is also a bonus. This tells us that he takes good care of himself!

Kindness

He’s sweet to animals. He’s great with kids. He’s thoughtful and loving with his friends and family. This is a fantastic indicator that he will be good to us as well, and why kindness is a very desirable trait.

Humor Us

Laughter is the best therapy for dealing with life’s harsher moments. Being with a guy who has an excellent sense of humor and can also find the funny during tough times is a real find – and needless to say, sexy.

Confidence

Ask any woman what makes a guy sexy and the collective answer is “confidence.” A man who is self-assured and knows what he wants is admirable and makes us feel secure when we are with him.

Eye Contact

Many women commented that a man who could look her in the eye was the definition of sincere and sexy. Now, a guy with great eyes who isn’t afraid to look into ours can make us a little weak in the knees. We love connection.

Drama Who?!

A guy who has got it all figured out – and doesn’t come bearing lots of drama, exes, or other issues, is refreshing, impressive and very appealing.

Voice

David Beckham is lucky he’s got great looks, because his voice … not so sexy. An average-looking guy with an amazing voice can increase his sexy ranking a few notches. Throw an accent in there and they are golden in our eyes!

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So you’ve been dating a while, and things are going really well between you two. You think you might have finally found that special someone. You’ve got lots in common, enjoy one another’s company like no one else you’ve ever met, and are thinking about taking that next step. Hold on.

Fact is, far too many couples head down the aisle without knowing all the things they really need to in order to have a sound foundation for their marriage.  The following are 10 things you need to know before proposing, or answering ‘yes’:

1. Family Matters – Whether you like it or not, you’re marrying into a family, and family does indeed matter.  Know ahead of time whether you’re all going to get along.
2. Children – If either of you already has kids, you’ve got more than one relationship to build on. If neither of you is a parent, discuss whether (and when) you’d like to start a family of your own. Don’t expect these things to sort themselves out after taking the vows.
3. Money Matters – Financial issues are one of the chief causes of marital strife. How well do you handle money, and how well do you know your partner’s track record regarding finances?
4. Religion/Spirituality – If you don’t share the same views about religion, and are taking a live-and-let-live approach to your differences, it could become an issue later if you do decide to raise children.
5. Career Goals – Two-income families are the norm in these economic times; so with the likelihood that you will both have jobs, consider whether they will create conflict for your future together.
6. Know Your Partner’s Shortcomings (and whether you can live with them) – Face it, neither of you is perfect; but hoping that he or she will change after saying “I do” is a recipe for failure.
7. Friends/Social Lives – Married life takes commitment and compromise, and it’s not always easy for a partner to give up every aspect of their single life. Can you both strike a healthy balance between marriage and your single friends?
8. Sex – This is another area that can cause big trouble down the road, in a couple of different ways. Marriage is often assumed to be a monogamous sexual relationship for the rest of your lives. Are you both in agreement that this is what you want and are committing too?
9. Wedding Plans – Although this is a subject usually left for discussion after the engagement, it can save a lot of strife later if you’ve got an idea what each other wants beforehand.
10. Geography – Whether or not you live in the same area now, it’s a good idea to talk about where you’d both like to live in the long haul.

There’s no sure-fire blueprint to marital bliss, but going in with eyes wide-open and communicating with one another are an absolute must for the success of any marriage.

(Article originally published at Best Dating Sites.)

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1. Name calling – Derogatory name calling, such as stupid, dummy, idiot or other such demeaning terms should not be considered a normal part of a relationship. Even when a person is angry, this type of language is not necessary and shows an extreme lack of respect for the other person and should be considered abusive.
2. Cursing – Many people curse when they get upset. That is not uncommon. However, when the cursing is directed at another person and is combined with some of the other signs listed here, it can also be a sign of verbal abuse.
3. Shouting – Again, raising a persons voice in anger is not uncommon. But if one person in a relationship is continually raising their voice in anger towards the other one, it may be a sign that they use their voice to intimidate that other party.
4. Put downs – Continual criticism, and a refusal to acknowledge positive achievements, can be another aspect of verbal abuse. Everyone is in need of affirmation of their value and worth to those around them, to some degree.
5. Threats – Being verbally threatened can be as frightening as having those threats carried out. Verbal abusers often will threaten their victims with physical harm, embarrassment, restrictions on their finances, harm to others and retaliation in a variety of other forms.
6. Blame – Abusers will often blame their victims for their actions. ‘If you wouldn’t be so stupid.’ ‘If you wouldn’t have done that.’ Every person is responsible for their own choices and actions. In an abusive situation, the abuser will always find an excuse to continue their behavior, no matter how much the victim tries to perfect their own.
7. Lack of courtesy – Ignoring common courtesies within a relationship can also be a sign of abuse. An abuser may not feel it is necessary to make requests, but instead gives orders to the other person. The manners they display with others may be lacking when it comes to that indivdual.
8. Low self-esteem – There are signs that can be seen in the victim, as well. A low self-esteem is a natural result of abuse, in any form. The victim often does not see themselves as deserving better treatment.
9. Timidity – Victims of verbal abuse will often appear timid and hesitant to speak up or ask questions. The slightest raising of your voice may cause them to cower or bring tears to their eyes. They are used to being intimidated and controlled by another person’s voice.
10. Fear of failure – Since victims of abuse are often told it is their failures that bring on the abuse, they have a great fear of failure. New circumstances and learning opportunities are often seen simply as risks of failure, which could lead to the abuse they try so desperately to avoid.

If you recognized yourself as a victim of verbal abuse while reading these 10 signs, it is important that you seek help. Abuse is never justified. Seek counseling for yourself or for the two of you together. Healthy relationships are not dominated by one person over the other.

This article appeared originally at Best Dating Sites.

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