The Days I'll Remember

Happy FIRST Birthday Tucker Bear!

2010-03-04T06:30:00.004-05:00

Click here to read last years post.... March 4, 2009

It's hard to fathom that this time a year ago I was still pregnant. There were still just a few short hours before I would meet you. All this week I've replayed this day in my head. I've asked myself where the time went, how did I let it go so fast? I promise it feels like I feel asleep with a newborn beside me and woke up to find you already turning one.

One year ago today my heart experienced something I wasn't sure was possible. I learned that I could love more then I already loved. I could be in awe of such a tiny little person, again. It amazes me that you are here, you are mine, and how much you've grown. The morning was cold, emotions were running wild (for me anyways), and you would be here sooner then I expected. I remember the day as vividly as I remember yesterday. It was the day I had waited nine months for. Family and friends filled the room and their company kept me calmer then they know.

12:24 p.m., just five hours and twenty-four minutes after arriving at the hospital I held you for the first time. I cried because once again God had blessed me with the greatest blessing a mother can have, a newborn child. You were as cute as I had dreamed, and just as precious as could be. Perfect in every way, ten fingers, ten toes, and healthy.

I instantly fell in love. I was proud, I was honored. I had that instant motherly connection, and couldn't wait to hold you again! I watched as our friends and family met you for the first time. They were so excited. Everyone was guessing who you looked like and it was obvious, it was your Daddy.

Big Brother, Carter, was on cloud nine. His baby Tucker was here. He immediately stepped into his role as big brother and has been doing an amazing job every since. He shares with you, he watches out for you, and he protects you.

You weighed a small 7 pounds, 12 ounces. Your little round head was covered in red fuzz! You had cheeks of a chipmunk, and the longest slender feet I had ever seen! Those aren't the feet you have now, that's for sure!

The year has flown by me. I look at you here a year later and I wish I could turn back the hands of time. I really do feel like I just brought you home a few short weeks ago. You've changed our family for the good. We are more complete, and share more happiness with you here. You are my thinker. You take everything in and some days you give me a run for my money. You have a quiet, not so sure about this world personality.

I know the year that lies ahead of us will be full of adventure. You're already on the go, there's no stopping you.

I love to hear you babble, I love to watch you dance. When you wrap your pudgy little hand around my finger, my heart melts. You make each day exciting, and each night as I put you to bed I thank God for how perfect you are and how much joy you bring to our lives. Most importantly, you love me regardless of my bad days and always flash me that toothy smile when I need it most.

Your smile will warm many hearts, your giggle will be contagious. Those sparkling blue eyes melt me when you look my way and give me that crooked little smile, just like your Dad.

Milestones & things you love:
Current weight 24 pounds, go big guy!!
You have 11 teeth, and your 12th will be cutting through any day!
Your not a fan of juice or sweet tea, but you love strawberry soda and of course milk

Walking (01/10/2010)
Says Da-Da
Sleeps through the night

Loves to swing
Loves to dance
Loves to eat...anything!
Love, Love, LOVES bath time, or playing with the shower curtain

Says Bubba
Climbs everything you possibly can
Not a fan of the sippy cup in any way, shape, or form

Enjoys playing in your crib
Giggles when you chase the cats, or Carter
Managed to play in the fireplace coals

Says Nana and Momma all day long
Loves your ABC Learning Bear
Your blanket is a must have to go to sleep

Playing outside

Riding the 4-wheeler

Cows

Tucker-Bear, I love you. I need you, and God knows that. You remind me that what I'm doing is the most important job of all. Your sunshine smile brightens my day each morning when you wake up. Your giggle makes me giggle, and the little happy dance you do is one I'll never forget. You are a blessing to our family, a joy to my soul! I am so grateful to have you in my life and I can't believe that today you are turning one! It is my prayer that God watches over you, keeps you safe and well! Always know how much I love you!!Happy Birthday my little man. Love you always... Momma.

Remembering

2010-03-03T21:22:00.000-05:00

Remembering back to a year ago tonight, I remember the fear and excitement that filled my mind and heart. I was so nervous but it didn't matter. Everything that everyone told me would fall into place, did. Everything that I fretted over being right, really didn't matter after all. Carter is perfectly okay with having a brother, so much so that he's now asking for a sister!

God is so very good to me. Tucker has been a blessing to our lives. There have been difficult days but each day a blessing. It feels a little strange to know that a year ago I was waddling around here making sure everything was just so. Our house last year at this very time was spotless, nothing was out of place. Ha, if you were here tonight you'd think a family of about 10 lived here! :) Now, here I am a mother of two. Still waddling around but only because my back is killing me from lugging that 24 pound cutie around! He was easier to carry around last year!

Carter is so excited about Tucker's birthday tomorrow. Nana is going to come over and go with us to lunch and spend the day with me and the boys. Tomorrow night we have a mini birthday party planned for the birthday boy. Little Bear is lying ever so peacefully in his bed. I could watch him sleep for hours. I can't believe that a year has come and gone. He's my little sunshine, my heart, my joy! Hope you'll all stay tuned for tomorrow's birthday post for Tucker-Bear!!

Cake, check. Party supplies, check. Mom okay... uncheck.

2010-03-03T13:57:00.001-05:00

It's birthday week around these parts. Who, you ask? Tucker's first birthday! I've been singing Happy Birthday to him every morning since Monday. He just looks at me like I'm nuts, and then smiles. He's caught on to how the rest of the family sees me, LOL!!

I'm busy, I'm running like a chicken with my head cut off. You know all the little things you have to have in order before you have sixty guests enter your home. I one of those people that things I have to clean from top to bottom or someone will 'talk' about me. The floors still need to be mopped, bathrooms need to be cleaned, and I have plants that are still awaiting their place on our front porch. Travis tells me each evening, "I'll get them tomorrow"Hmm, we'll see. I bet they get hung Saturday morning at 10:00. The party is at 11:00!

We're doing a farm themed birthday party, pretty fitting huh? Tucker, has no idea what's going on. Carter is upset that the week is not all about him. He keeps asking if he will get presents, and if his friends are coming to the party. No, and yes... your friends are the only friends your brother has for now! ;)

I'm in a bit of shock that my little Bear is turning one tomorrow. I think I have as many emotions about him turning one as I did the morning I went to the hospital to have him. I'm so grateful for this sweet child. I know God has great plans for him, and I can't wait to watch him grow this coming year.

Now, you all have a job. You have to pray that I don't spend the majority of tomorrow crying. I don't know why I'm so emotional, it's weird. Hmm, who knows. Hormones, they're a lovely thing!

Hope you are all having a wonderful week!

Time to change a few things

2010-03-03T12:14:00.000-05:00

The big 3-0 is creeping up on me. I'm not really concerned about turning 30, but I'd like to make a few changes. I decided yesterday to go darker with my hair, and put some streaks in it. I have also decided that I'm going to do Weight Watchers. I'm not a gym kind of girl, and I don't like diets that only allow me to eat 'their' food. I am a snacker, a junk food lover, and oh my stars if they did away with fast food or drive thrus' I'd probably cry my eyes out. I love McDonald's. I love french fries, I love Coke, but these things are not going to help my waist that looks more like an tire!

I have about 20-22 pounds that I'd like to lose. I'd be content with 20, really happy with 22, and ecstatic if I lost 25. I look at pictures of myself and I just shake my head. It's my fault, so it's time that I make the change. I don't really know why I've decided to blog about this, maybe for more accountability who knows. The weight watchers meetings are on Monday evenings, so maybe I'll do Monday check ins with you all.

Let's just pray I can stay away from the cookies, cakes, and other goodies that line my pantry! How much willpower can I really put forward???? That my friends is the question. Oh, and of all weeks to start a new weight loss adventure I pick Tucker's first birthday week. Seriously, stress more then normal and I choose this week to count points?! I'm nuts, it's official.

This picture has nothing to do with the post... well maybe the chubby cheeks (and I say Tucker looks nothing like me, yeah right)and that extra chin, but I like it anyways the picture that is, not the chin!!!!

Monster Jam 2010

2010-02-28T11:55:00.000-05:00

Last year we decided two hours before the show to take Carter to the monster jam. Travis and I were both extremely sick and I was big, big pregnant but we still went. This year we decided to take him again, and as expected, he loved it!!

Blue Thunder was, and is his all time favorite! He sat through the entire event patiently awaiting to see Blue Thunder crush the cars and jump the hills. We were at the top of the stadium, and by top I mean about seven rows from the top. I felt a little closer to Heaven Saturday night! The wind was blowing but our backs were to it so luckily we didn't feel too much of it, but it was still c.o.l.d! I had on an undershirt, a wool sweater, my gator hoodie, and a windbreaker jacket over that and holy batman I was still freezing. About fifteen minutes before we left I had to put my gloves on. Travis just shook his head in disappointment. I don't know why, he knows I hate the cold.

Anywho, enough about me. Carter was on the edge of his seat the entire night. His excitement really blesses my soul. Seriously, there were times I even caught myself tearing up watching him having such a good time. I know, how silly but it's true. Please, someone, anyone tell me I'm not the only mom that does this. I can only imagine when we take him to Disney, I'll be a complete basket case. He cheered for Blue Thunder, Superman, and Gravedigger. To hear him say, "ooh baby, that's what I'm talking about" is absolutely hilarious!!

About twenty minutes before the show was over he looked up at me and said, "can we go home now?" Poor guy was exhausted. He had been up since about 6:45 that morning. It was close to 11:00! I asked him if he wanted to watch Blue Thunder jump the cars and he said yes but that he wanted to leave as soon as that part was over. As promised, we left when Blue Thunder rolled over on his side. The walk to the truck he was still excited. Once Travis put him in his seat, buckled him in it was literally less then five minutes and he was out!!

We enjoyed spending one on one time with Carter-bug. He's growing so quickly, and I know he too misses just having us all to himself. Nights like this one make us really enjoy each other more. Now, on to next year. Hopefully we'll order tickets before all that's left are the nose bleed, close to Heaven seats! :)

Beautiful Blogger

2010-02-27T15:07:00.003-05:00

This afternoon when I logged on I found that I was given an award. How sweet is that?! Lori over at The Ladybug Lounge felt my blog was worth of the Beautiful Blogger award!! Thanks Lori! Now, I'll share with you a few blogs that I feel are also worthy of this award. If you enjoy reading, and are looking to follow a few new blogs then check these out!! :)

Fabulous Fuston Family Kara's blog is a joy altogether! Her little girl is just precious!

Journey Blessings My best friend Renee, just joined the blogging world and already she has touched me in so many ways with what she writes.

Life is change. Growth is optional. Sarah is always an inspiration to me. She has a way with writing and I always enjoy what she has to say! Great music on her site too!

Publish Post

A touching story

2010-02-26T21:53:00.000-05:00

Do you ever read something that just over takes you? Are you ever touched by something someone else is going through? I guess what I'm trying to say is tonight as I was reading through new blogs that I've discovered today, and keeping up with the latest Facebook updates, I was moved. I went to a link about a little girl named Layla. As I read the story, I could feel the mother's pain for her child. I could feel the fear, the sense of helplessness, and the love she had for this sweet child of hers. I was moved to tears. My heart ached, and still aches for a family that I don't even know.

I'm going to be very honest tonight, as a reminder to myself. I've discussed that I have whirlwind days around here, days that I feel I accomplish absolutely nothing. This year alone has been trying going from having one child to two. We've had colic, we've had just pure out grumpiness, but that doesn't matter. I've had days that I long for nap time, I long for quietness, but I have to stop doing that. I have to stop worrying about the dust, the laundry that's building mounds, and quit wishing nap time would come sooner. My children will only be this size once. They'll only need me this much for such a short time in their lives. I worry about things that really don't matter. It is my prayer tonight that God will show me even on my toughest of days that the whining, or the crying, the messes, whatever it may be that day are blessings. I pray that I find a calm, and a way to enjoy the times that normally make me want to pull my hair out. All to often, I lose it. I get frustrated when I really shouldn't, and I need reminding that I can't stress the small stuff. I say this to say that I've been praying to God seeking a way to be a better mother. A more calm, laid back, go with the flow mom. I want to be a mom that my boys enjoy... everyday! I don't want them to remember a mom that yells or constantly says no, or has too many 'un-necessary' rules (come on, you know what I'm talking about).

Tonight when I clicked on Layla's story and read the words her mother had written there was no doubt in my mind that God led me to that blog. He led me there to show me that I have so very much to be thankful for. I have healthy children. That alone is one of the greatest blessings I could ever have. I take so much for granted. So what that Tucker's cutting his fourth tooth this week, had diarrhea, and a low-grade fever. This week I thought I was going to lose my mind at some points. He wouldn't let me put him down, he only wanted me. Looking back now, I'm ashamed of myself. I'm ashamed that I take for granted that he's waddling up and down the hall, dragging toys from one room to the other, or spilling milk or cookie crumbs on my freshly mopped floors. He's healthy, so why am I complaining? I hate to admit I watched the clock for nap time. How dare I? How dare I not want to spend every waking moment listening to their sweet voices? I prayed for these children, and now I pray for nap time?! How absolutely ungrateful do I sound??? These are all questions I've been pondering since I read this story.

Tonight, this mother that I don't even know has reminded me that holding my boys is the most important thing on my to-do list for today, tomorrow, next week, and three months from now. Playing Hi-Ho CherryO for the tenth time is what really matters. Layla's mother dreams of having 'those' days back. Sweet Layla has been diagnosed with cancer, and she is really struggling with it now. This family, like all of us, is not promised tomorrow with Layla. They are living their lives minute by minute, second by second. I'm not promised tomorrow with my boys. I have to live each day as if it were their last. I can still be their "Momma" and have rules, but I must let go of the little things. Their giggles won't sound this way forever. Their cries, won't last forever. The chaotic evenings will soon be a thing of the past. One day I'll stand within these four walls and dream of having the noise, the ruckus, the busyness back in my life. Just moments ago, Carter says, "Daddy, can I just sleep in your room on the floor? I only have two mommy and daddy days (a.k.a Saturday and Sunday)" I would usually say no, you need to sleep in your room. Not tonight. He's in our room lying on the floor watching Swamp Loggers. If those are the little things that he'll remember, then so be it. Times are changing around here, you here me?!

Lord, forgive me. Forgive me for not enjoying each and every moment that You have given me with Carter and Tucker. Forgive me for wishing days away, or wishing for the peaceful days of my past. Change me Lord, make me into the mother You would have me to be. Let me be a mother that doesn't wish the day away. Teach me to be more compassionate, and understanding on the days when they need me more then most. Thank You for this sweet family that is battling cancer with their young child. Give them comfort, peace, and strength. I pray that You wrap Your loving arms around them and let them know they are not alone. Carry them, may their hearts never lose the joy they've shared with Layla. May their final days with her be peaceful. We don't understand why cancer strikes, Lord, but we know you are in control. I pray that through this little girl that Your love will be shown. I pray that you bless this family even in their extreme time of need. I thank you that I came across their story, because it has changed my heart. Amen.

I don't have a huge number of followers, but it's not about numbers. God doesn't care how many there are, He just cares that we all come together. I ask each of you that reads this post tonight to keep this dear family in your prayers. I am proof tonight that you do not have to know someone to be touched by their story, or to pray for them. If this story has touched your heart tonight, please visit http://laylagrace.org/ and let the family know you are praying for them. Thank you!

Friday Follow

2010-02-26T10:06:00.002-05:00

I love reading blogs. I love meeting new people, and today I've decided to meet even more new bloggers! I'm participating in the Friday Follow. This is a fun way for us to all find new blogs that we enjoy reading, and meeting new followers of our own! If you are a blog lover, follow the link to Friday Follow and list your blog as well!!!

I look forward to seeing your link there!!! :) If you're visiting from Friday Follow, thanks for stopping by. Hope you enjoy your visit and come back soon!!

Happy Friday my dear friends!!!!

Sugar Snails Pottery & Gifts

2010-02-24T20:31:00.001-05:00

After much thought, and prayer, my best friend Renee and I have decided to start our own business. We both attended a party several months ago and from there our minds started turning. We tossed this idea back and forth, let it lie for a few weeks and then it would come back up for discussion. I was always more hesitant it seemed then Renee. She's one of those gals that when she gets something in her head, she's going to do it. Well, here we are. It's time for us to introduce Sugar Snails Pottery & Gifts!

We are currently in the process of booking parties. We are looking for local moms with young children to host our parties. Once a party is booked we will come to your home and using your little ones hand and footprints we will create pottery for you to treasure for years to come. We have also decided to offer a line of totes, diaper bags, and purses.

We are both very excited about this new adventure. I hope that you all will take a minute to check out our blog. You can view some of our products there. If you are interested in a bag that you see, you can email us at sugarsnailspg@yahoo.com and we will get that ordered for you! We pray that God will bless our new adventure! :)

Talk to you all soon! Let me know what you think!

Chim chimeny chim chim, cheroo!

2010-02-20T15:19:00.001-05:00

You know that line, don't you? It's from the movie Mary Poppins? Oh how I wish I had some of Mary Poppins magical powers some days. If only the quirky little song made all the toys jump up and lead themselves to the toy box. How I'd love to take a walk through the park and jump into a painted picture on the sidewalk and dance to Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, oh the fun my children and I would really have! Oh, and the best would be to fly around on with an umbrella. Beats Jacksonville traffic by a country mile!! (((Another reason I tend to stay in the country as much as possible))) I almost forgot about the I love to laugh song. That was one of my most favorite parts!

You're probably wondering where I'm going with this. Well, yesterday morning I was scurrying around trying to get my house in order. I was to babysit a friends little girl and I knew with two babies (11 mo. Tucker, and 16 mo. Rylee) that I would have to devote my full attention to them. So I was cleaning up the bathroom, making our bed, and off to start a load of laundry. As I came through the living room Tucker-bear was doing his thing. He wasn't messing with anything and was in his own little world in the corner playing with the books. So, I figured I had enough time to start a load of laundry and fold a load while I was at it.

I finished folding the load, crossed over the baby gate, only to find my Tucker-bear.... IN THE FIREPLACE! Well, not really in it but, yeah you know where I'm going. He was sitting on the stone, had opened the door and was having himself a good old time making clouds of ash go everywhere! SERIOUSLY, this child does not cease to amaze me. I posted earlier this week, he's a w.i.l.d man!!! His mouth and hands were covered in black smutty grossness! I couldn't do anything but laugh. What had just happened was a clear indication of the past year with Tucker, completely unpredictable!!!! All I could think of was the chimney sweeper from Mary Poppins.

I couldn't wait to tell my Travis, my mom, and Renee. I figured Travis would think I was nuts, my mom would give Tucker the 'aww, you wouldn't have let Carter do that', and Renee would just give me the 'it happens'. I seriously thought it was funny. Call me irresponsible, call me a bad mom, it's no different then the mom that turns her back for a split second only to find her kid covered in diaper rash cream, or marker, or makeup, or the wall colored five different shades. It was a moment I will not soon forget, probably never. Talk about leaving handprints on the wall... now that my friends would have been a mess!

For those of you that are wondering, he's perfectly fine. A little ash never hurt anyone, although I'm sure my kid's the only one that's played in the fireplace. :) Just another unpredictable day on Cow Bird Lane. I'm sure it's just the beginning of days that will try my mothering skills, make me laugh, or make me cry. Bring it on fellas... I'm ready for whatever you have to offer!

I'm sorry, how old are you?

2010-02-19T21:31:00.000-05:00

I'm obviously in a PMS type of mood because everything is on my nerves. Tonight we decided we would go to dinner at Olive Garden. We learned a long time ago that with kids you need to go before it even remotely gets close to bed time to avoid any sort of catastrophe, or melt downs. We arrived at Olive Garden around 5:30.

We were at our table within less then five minutes. Carter was coloring, quietly. Tucker he was gnawing on Travis' cell phone like a mad man. They sat us in one of those rooms off to the side that only has about six tables. I was thinking, why me. Why did they sit me in this closed in room so that it seems like the kids are ten times more loud then they really are? I have to give the little crumb snatchers credit, they did really, really good! Of course, Carter had to go to the bathroom. We have this deal that in restaurants and other public places that I always take him because Travis swears that the mens bathrooms are in far worse condition the the women's. I've often wondered how he knows, I mean does he go to women's bathrooms on a regular basis???? So off we went. It wasn't too bad. Back to the table, we enjoyed our meal and just before we were finished my sweet Carter says, "I've really got to go... now!" That's usually an indication that he really needed to go a few minutes prior but he's just waited too late.

I rushed him back to the bathroom, and of course there is a line. The next stall that came open we went into. A young lady around 19 years old came out. As we went in I was disgusted by the fact that here was a grown woman that had just used the restroom and obviously didn't realize that she peed all over the seat, and floor!! All I could think is, how old was she? Surely she knows that she peed the seat and floor. I mean don't you have to turn around to flush the toilet? Talk about frustrated, I mean seriously... come on. As the old saying says, "if you sprinkle, when you tinkle... please be sweet and wipe the seat!" We turned out of the stall only to find her, gone. We weren't in there ten seconds, and she's gone! So to my assumption... she didn't wash her hands either. GROSS, GROSS, GROSS!

I was so frustrated, annoyed, angry, and completely blown away that a grown woman would first pee all over the seat, and then walk out and not even wash her hands. You have no idea how badly I wanted to hunt her down in that restaurant and let everyone in the place no she wet the seat AND she did not wash her hands. Again, gross, gross, gross!!!

So my point is this. Do you sit in pee at home? No. Do you want to sit in pee out and about? OF COURSE NOT! Moral of the story, act your age. Have some respect for the public. Do us all a favor and aim for the hole, if you miss, clean it up. And is it asking to much that you wash your filthy hands? The world wonders why we have germs everywhere, probably because the person sitting at the table next to you is too cool to wash their hands.

Rant over. Sorry for two in one day. I promise I'll try to kick the crabbiness, but the truth's the truth!
Night!

Tiger, Smiger...

2010-02-19T13:45:00.001-05:00

Seriously, I'm so over hearing about Tiger Woods and his affair(s), or whatever else the fuss is about him. Quite frankly I'm tired of hearing about drama with celebrites all together. It frustrates me that the media puts so much attention on these people. Why can't we put attention on people that are really making a difference in the world? I mean when's the last time you heard the news talk about a Christian music artist that held a benefit concert to help feed hungry children in our own nation? What about a newstory about the local pastor that hasn't cheated on his wife of 56 years? Or the local youth group that works monthly to help in the community? These are all positive things that deserve attention but all to often go unnoticed.

I suppose I'm just frustrated that our world feeds on the negativity. Millions of people today waiting to hear what Tiger Woods has to say, when (in my opinion) he should be discussing his issues privately with his wife and family. Apologizing to the world is not going to make things hunky doorey at home. I know if my husband cheated on me I wouldn't want him on the news at noon explaining his actions! His wife deserves respect and privacy. His press conference came from a golf course near our city. It amazes me that it's so secretive about his location, or his arrival time, but yet he is okay with talking about his personal relationship and marriage with his wife infront of the entire nation? Am I the only one that sees this as absolutley ridiculous?

I'm just voicing my opinion. No, I did not watch the interview. No, I will not pull it up on the local news site or wherever. I'm over it. I'm tired of hearing about it. Rant over... going on now.

Good day.

So sweet and perfect

2010-02-18T13:50:00.000-05:00

As you all know about, my friends Amanda and Justin welcomed their sweet boy Brayden into their lives on February 5. I had the great opportunity of doing his newborn pictures. Just wanted to share them with you all. Tell me this just doesn't make you heart go pitter patter!!!

These three are my favorites from the day.

Mud lover

2010-02-18T13:44:00.001-05:00

Carter absolutely, positively, without a shadow of a doubt loves mud puddles. If he sees a mud puddle, I better not turn my back if I don't want him to get in it. Within a matter of minutes, he'll be soaked!

Last Sunday was no different! He found the biggest mud puddle in my Granny's yard and from there it was all about getting wet and making the biggest splash he could! My mom and Granny kept telling me, "he's getting soaked, he's going to catch a cold." My response was, he has on rubber boots he thinks he's invincible so I'm fighting a losing battle.

Sure enough, I lost. He was soaked but he had fun doing it. It's a part of being a kid right? Driving your mom, Nana, and Great-Grandma crazy, it's their purpose in life isn't that what we would say when we were kids? He was soaked from his waste down. He giggled, he splashed and I'm sure if I would have allowed it he would have shown Tucker just what to do! Next year this time, I'm going to need some serious backup!

While jumping in those puddles on Sunday, I couldn't help but think that my baby was a big boy now. He's on to bigger things, setting out on big adventures in his little world. Five is just a few short months away. I'm ready, but I'm not ready. I heard a quote a while back that said, "every ending is a new beginning!" When I heard that I thought, my chapter of baby years with Carter is ending. The new beginning is going to be just as exciting, adventurous, fun, and filled with his perfect love!

Their are countless mud puddles in my future. Endless amounts of giggle, handprints on the wall, and hugs that I love more each day! Carter, I love you my little mud lover!!!

Home

2010-02-18T13:24:00.000-05:00

There's nothing like going home to moms for a visit. Each time is a joy. The boys love seeing their Nana, Big Granny, and Big Papa. Growing up next door to my grandparents led to many precious memories of my childhood. Warm sunny mornings sitting on my granny's steps, crisp Fall afternoons waiting for Papa to come down the driveway, the trees I climbed, the mud puddles I jumped in, the list goes on and on.

Taking my children back there is no different. They make memories every time we are there. Carter loves climbing the trees, puddle jumping, treasure hunts through the woods, and Big Granny's treats! Sunday I had a newborn session so mom watched the boys for me. When I got back they were on their way to the pond to feed the fish. I grabbed my camera and we had a great time. Big Papa helped Carter feed the fish. Carter was more anxious to try and get in the water then anything. Tucker well he didn't help feed the fish, he helped feed himself!!! :) Yep, you guessed it, he snagged a slice of bread and was off to bigger and better things... to play in the leaves! He loves to hear the crackle of the leaves below his feet. He loves a stick and you better watch it because he'll get you the first chance he gets!

We then went on a treasure hunt as Carter calls them, through the woods. There sat the old Coca-Cola truck that's been in those woods for as long as I can remember. We found an old plow wheel, and countless other old things. Walking through those woods just a reminder to me of my roots, my home, my memories. It's a place I will always treasure and hold dear to my heart. On our way back to the house, I spied the old log trailers that my Uncle and Papa once used.

Then I see Papa's plow. My Granny couldn't understand why I would want a picture of those things. I just told her, "because I do." Those things are a part of me just as much as they are my Papa and Uncle. I played on those trailers, I even had turpentine in my hair... momma wasn't real happy about that one! That plow I watched my Papa every spring till up the garden and his enjoyment is something that I now see when I look at that old plow. Knowing that if he had his way, he'd be preparing to get on that tractor in just a few short weeks to yet again plow a garden for his family.

Time has taken over a lot of things of my childhood. Things change for us as we grow older but the circle is still the same. Now my kids are enjoying "home". Carter's giggles and questions to Nana and Big Granny while we're on the treasure hunt are just another memory etched in my mind. I'm grateful that I have a family place to call home. Someplace I can go and always feel welcomed. A place I know that I'm loved. My mom and grandparents will never know how much their company, their friendship, their support, and most importantly their love mean to me.

He's here, he's there, he's EVERYWHERE!!!

2010-02-18T12:13:00.000-05:00

Oh, that Tucker-bear. He's so super busy! When I have both the boys here at the house they are four times the busy, then when I have just one. Here I go comparing again, but, when Carter was one we could put him down and he'd occupy himself for at least an hour. He watched Noggin, or a movie, not Tucker. No way, he's having no part of what would help out around here. You know what I'm talking about, sometimes you just need to have thirty minutes to cook, fold some clothes, go to the bathroom for pete's sake. Nope, shadow boy is hot on your trail!

He climbs, Carter didn't. He hides, Carter didn't. He screams, Carter didn't. He naps wonderfully, Carter didn't! I know they aren't the same kid, but could they at least act as if they were related??? Tucker will not sit still for anything. His new favorite thing to do is climb on top of things, under things, through things, doesn't matter to him, he just climbs! He's made his way onto the fireplace, under the kitchen table, he's almost conquered the couch. He climbs into the tub if you let him. He's a monkey. Maybe I should call him Tucker-monkey?!

I was washing dishes the other day and he was quiet. I could hear him babbling, but he was calm. So, no screaming means do what you can while you have a minute! Well, when I came around the bar I heard him babbling and grunting. I couldn't find him. Then, I did... UNDER THE TABLE! We have a large table. It seats 8 people. He had wiggled his way through the chair legs and was standing under the table. So now when we lose him that's the first place we look. (((Please, don't think badly of me for losing him in our house. It just happens!))) Last Friday he tripped over my feet and hit the a/c return. He had a perfect, round impression of the screw on his forehead for two days! If you look close you can see it in one of the pictures.

He's so spunky. He's his father made over to the naked eye but when you look into the soul of that little redhead, you see me. You see my sassy, my way or no way attitude, but then he gives you that smile that just shines to the world. He's pretty cool for a baby. I think I'll keep him!!! :)

I've been reprimanded!!!

2010-02-18T11:56:00.000-05:00

Not really, but it was brought to my attention today that I needed to blog. So, here I am. I've been so very busy lately. I have something exciting to share with you all, but not just yet. No, I am not pregnant!! I've been so busy that I didn't even realize that Tucker's birthday is just weeks away. Very last minute I ordered his party supplies and invites. I am patiently awaiting their arrival today so that I can get them and get the invites addressed and in the mail TODAY! Each year I seem to get more and more behind on things I once had ready weeks prior!

The boys are good. Carter begs every morning in hopes that I won't send him to school. Poor kid, if only he realized this is his 'life' for the next thirteen years!! He's awesome though. He's starting to spell small words, he's recognizing all the letters and pointing them out in the mall, or when he sees the letter of the day on a sign while we are driving. Each day I stand amazed at his awesomeness! Tucker-bear, he's round, he's chubby, he's teething, he's eating us out of house and home!!! We had a visit with the pediatrician this week to check on a rash that he has on his face. I was thinking it was something that only a prescription would heal. We've been using Eucerin lotion but it wasn't helping at all. The doc says it's drool rash and to add some aquaphor lotion with the Eucerin. Sure enough, after two applications, he's looking much better already! Tooth number nine made it's way through the skin last Saturday. The others won't be long.

Travis is busy, busy with his new cow expedition he's on. He just purchased 130 cows from Papa and each week he goes to the sale in search of more. He's at home with those cows, if only they would clean up after him! :) I'm proud of him. He's doing what he loves, he's enjoying it and you can tell by his actions. He seems calmer, more content. Nothing like finding something you love and sticking with it!

I wish I could make his hair look like this all the time, I LOVE IT!!!

Did I mention my house looks like it's not been cleaned in days, I mean weeks? I keep waiting for that merry maid to knock on the door but they want me to pay them! Huh, that's not going to happen, cause I sure as heck don't get paid for my cleaning around here! What makes them think they are so special? Well, this post is just to hold you over until I get all the pictures loaded for the other posts. And to my two friends that snapped me back into blog world... thanks! Love you gals, keep me on my toes!!!

Secret code

2010-02-12T09:36:00.000-05:00

A long time ago when Travis and I were still dating, I started this little thing where I would squeeze his hand, or pat his back, or bat my eyelashes three times. He knew that those three squeezes, pats, or bat of my eyelashes meant, I LOVE YOU. I started doing this same thing with Carter about a year ago. Bless his soul he would try to do it back but would just squeeze as hard as he could! This morning, he climbed into our bed and pulled my arm around him. He put that soft little chubby hand in mine and I squeezed it three times. To my surprise, he squeezed back three times! I can't begin to explain to you the big smile it put on my face and the warmth in my heart.

Having boys I realize that when they are older they most likely will not want to say I love you to me in front of their buddies, or if I'm dropping them off at school. I secretly hope they will never be 'ashamed' of their momma, but come on we've all been there. You know, too cool to tell your parents that you really do love them. I'm just glad that we have a secret code to let each other know. There are some days I probably tell the boys I love them fifty times or more. I think they need to know that I really, really love them. So with the love holiday approaching this weekend, remember to love on those babies too!!!

Happy Friday my friends!
L.o.v.e

What about this cutie????

2010-02-10T08:44:00.000-05:00

Carter has always been a fun, cheerful kid. As we creep closer and closer to the big 5 in August, he actually amazes me more. He's becoming his own little independent little man. He thinks he's grown. Give him a herd of cows, and he's going to tell you he knows what to do with them. Ask him to clean his room and he's going to tell you he needs your help. So go figure.

His giggle is still one that when I hear it, it's contagious. His little mind so full of questions, yet so full of knowledge. How is that? He is truly amazing. Everyday he amazes me with some out of this world comment. He's awesome with Tucker, and I love to see them play together. Tucker adores him, as do most people that meet him. He just has this spirit about him that is a joy.

I sometimes look at him at the end of the day and just stand there. I wonder where did the day go, where did my little Carter go. I contemplate finding some way to stop time, but I know I can't. I just have to hold on, embrace the days that lie ahead, and trust and know that God is molding this precious child into something amazing. He has a heart like no other child I have ever met. He is compassionate, he's loving, and he loves Jesus at the tender age of 4.

I love this kid. I love him dearly, even on the days I wonder how we're going to make it past lunchtime... he's still awesome. His smile makes even the most miserable day better! Just look at that smile, and those eyes... wouldn't you smile if he was looking at you?

This last one is for my friend Kari. Do you see how far I am outside of my comfort zone? He's standing on top of the car, and I wasn't freaking... I'm making progress!!! :) I kept telling myself it's only a few feet off the ground, it's not the end of the world, quit being so over protective!!! Now, Kari... quit laughing at me!

Carter, thank you sweet child. Thank you for your laughter, for your pure, innocent spirit. You are my heart, and I love you so very much!! love... momma

My shadow

2010-02-09T07:00:00.001-05:00

You never really pay your shadow much attention do you? Think about it. See, you really don't pay that little black marking on the ground any attention at all. I know I never did. Then it happened, I became a mother and I went from having one shadow that really didn't serve any purpose, never said a word, nothing it was just there to having a second shadow, and now a third. The second shadow tugged on my leg for several years, it talked to me, it followed me and my original shadow everywhere I went. I couldn't shake it, it was everywhere!! That little shadow is bigger now, but it's still there. Not tugging at my leg quite as much but boy does it ever talk still! Then low and behold, I found myself with three shadows! I gained zero weight but I now have three separate shadows that follow me from the time my feet hit the floor until I go to bed again. This third shadow is almost as if it is physically attached to my body at times. It's chubby, short, and oh so cute. It prefers to hang off my hip more then my leg. It has a tendency to hit me in the chest too when it's not getting it's way.

With Carter, March 16, 2008...

You've guessed by now, I'm talking about Carter-bug, and Tucker-bear. I remember as a child my mother would say, "I have a shadow, I don't need another", or she would say after hearing us call out mom a thousand times "mom's not here anymore. She is off today!" I have those days quite often but my shadows remind me to walk a little straighter. They remind me that I'm being watched and therefore I need to be the example I want them to see. The old saying, apples don't fall far from the tree... true, true, true!

With Tucker...

I took a shadow picture with Carter back in March of 2008, yesterday I did one with Tucker. Knowing that I had one of each of them my mind started turning and that's when I started thinking about how much they watch us. I want to be a good impression for them. When they talk about me when they are older I want them to have positive memories. I want them to say I lived a life pleasing to God. My new question to myself when I get frustrated or at my wits end is going to be, 'is your shadow one that you want your children to stand in? Your little shadows are watching... remember!' I am challenging myself to be a better shadow.

11months

2010-02-08T20:02:00.001-05:00

Eleven months, already?! Why??? I left early Thursday morning, and didn't get to spend the day with Tucker-bear, but I'm sure he was just fine with his Granny! Here's an update on the little guy.

*Walking FULL SPEED AHEAD!
*Loves grits
*Chases the cats for fun
*Started saying, "hello"
*Loves sipping on Strawberry soda with Dad

*Says Bye, Bubba, Momma, Da-Da, and is starting dog
*Loves a bath more then eating, I do believe
*Started whole milk, and loving it
*Cow lover

*Still has to have your blanket to go to sleep
*You think you are Carter's shadow!

These are just a few of the things you're up to these days. You are still an amazement to me, each and every day. You make me laugh, you make me smile, and you make me miss having a tiny baby in my arms. You're growing to fast bear! Your big birthday is just a few weeks away. I'm planning the big event, and I know that you'll enjoy it!

I love you sweet boy. I love to hear you babble, and most of all to hear you say dog. You are my little buddy, and you have my heart in the palm of your little hand. Happy 11 month birthday!!
Love you... momma

Welcome Brayden Cole

2010-02-08T15:35:00.002-05:00

Last Thursday, February 4, 2010, I started the morning much earlier then I ever do. 4:30 a.m. my alarm clock was going off and I was up with a pep in my step. It was the day that Brayden would make his grand entrance into this world. It was the day his mother and father had been waiting for, forever. I jumped in the shower, got dressed, started a pot of coffee then I hear my phone ringing. I knew Amanda would either say, it's time or that we would need to wait a bit until the hospital had a bed for her. Her response, "they said for me to be there at 6:30!" I could hear the jitters in her voice. I told her I'd be to the hospital around 7ish. We hung up the phone and I started praying for her and Brayden. I vividly remembered the days that I had my boys. You're excited, your scared, your anxious, and quite frankly you think you're going to vomit at any given minute. I updated with, "This is it!" and off I went. I couldn't wait to get there!!! I was like a kid going on a field trip, or in a candy store. It was a little ridiculous that a almost 30 year old woman can act like that! :0

I gathered my things and I was out the door. There were several people expecting up to the minute details via text, so I started them bright and early. While I was texting, I couldn't help but think how truly blessed I am to have a group of girlfriends that share the exciting times in my life, but most importantly I know I have a group of girlfriends that I can call on at anytime to be prayer warriors. I knew that the day that was ahead would not be an easy one, but I knew that with the prayers and support that God would once again get the glory. I had a very long conversation with my friend Jill on the way to the hospital. She and I both were talking about how we knew just how excited and nervous Amanda must be that morning. Before we hung up she told me she'd be praying, and would be waiting patiently for updates.

I arrived at the hospital shortly after 7a.m. Amanda was already dressed in her lovely birthing attire, and the show was getting on the road. Her mom, Marsha, was already there. I was trying my very best to control the excitement within me. I didn't want to be the chatty cathy that I've been known to be when I get nervous or extremely excited. My dear friend sat there looking just beautiful. She had a glow about her. Her husband, Justin, was doing what most men do... relaxing, and eating his breakfast that I brought to him. Amanda was chipper, smiling, and ready to meet her sweet boy. Nene, Amanda's mom, was as excited as I was and she and I just couldn't wait.

After getting her i.v. started, the dreaded "Pit" was added to the mix. Pitocin is a drug that helps with contractions. It'll jump start anyone looking to have their baby! :) I've had pitocin with both of my labors and it can get ugly, in my opinion anyways. The pitocin started doing its thing and it wasn't long until we started seeing Amanda's face twinge a little. They, the contractions, weren't bad right away but you could tell they were letting her know they were there. She was still smiling, and we were having a good time. Around 9ish sometime her cousin Trisha arrived and she helped keep the mood light. She and I were trying to answer any questions that Amanda had, and may have even told her some stuff that she'd rather not known.

Almost noon, her contractions were really starting to pick up. She was getting to the point of closing her eyes and not talking through them very much anymore. Her nurse, Norma, came in and suggested she get the epidural. By this time it was around 12:30 p.m., so we all decided to head out for some lunch and let her try and get some rest. Trish and I had lunch with Justin and his mom. The thoughts of when I was in labor with Carter and Tucker played vividly through my mind on that day.

We made it back to the hospital to find Amanda doing much better. It's amazing how that epidural can put a smile back on moms face! It's 1:30 in the afternoon and she has progressed to 4cm. Earlier that morning we had written down approximately what time we thought Brayden would make his debut. Little did we know none of us would come close. 5:00 rolled around, 5cm. 6:00 p.m., 6cm. The pattern seemed to be 1 cm. per hour. Around 8:00 p.m, we had to ask that family and friends leave the room because she was starting to feel a lot of pain. Her mom and I looked at each other, nervous but anxious that this might be it. We just might see baby Brayden soon. The nurse checked her and she was only at 6.5-7cm. The nurse recommended that she have the doctor come back in and check her epidural. They ended up upping her epidural and her pitocin, in hopes of bringing this little boy into the world before midnight.

I watched as she tried her best to get comfortable. It's a feeling of helplessness. You try to be supportive, you reassure her that everything will be okay, the pain will stop but to a laboring mother those words at that moment are just words. I was sending out those promised texts, and making a few phone calls. I was texting and calling those close friends and asking them for prayers. At this point she had been at it for more then 12 hours. She was exhausted and ready for it to be over. The nurse dimmed the lights and suggested she try her best to get some rest. Getting rest is almost impossible for a mom that is laboring. Your mind is like a roller coaster that just will not come to a stop or even remotely slow down.

Around 10-10:30 p.m., the pain came back full speed ahead. Again her mother and I looked at each other silently thinking this could be it. The nurse said she was still only 8-9cm. Granted, that is great progress and the end is so clear insight but for the mother doing all the work, it's a bit disheartening to know that you've still got more work to do. I stood by her bedside and with each contraction she would grip my hand, and Justin's. Her mom watched from the end of the bed. As Marsha watched her, I thought how awesome our God is. Parents love their children, but there is something about the love a mother has for her child. She wants with everything within her to take pain away from her children. Marsha wanted nothing less then to take all of Amanda's hurt away. I reminded Amanda that God was with her. I reminded her of how lucky we are that He allows women to be a part of such a miraculous thing in life. But then I couldn't help but think how His mother watched as her son was nailed to the cross at Calvary. So many times that evening I thought of my relationship with God. I stood quietly in the corner, or behind the curtain, or in the hallway crying out to Him to give my friend a renewed strength, give her peace to get through the final stages, to hear her cry for help. I had texted my sister and she replied back saying that she had stopped her homework to go to her room and pray for Amanda, Brayden and the doctors. She referred back to a song by "Praise you in this storm" by Casting Crowns. The lyrics say,
"And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm"

11:00 p.m., she's still experiencing intense pain. The nurse checks her again and she is 9cm! The end is truly insight. Would it be minutes, or would we wait several more hours to meet Brayden. That was the question everyone was wanting answered. Amanda had become very quiet, she needed rest, she was hungry, and she kept asking how much longer. She would ask the nurse if she was making progress. I remember asking that same question with Carter. I felt as if I was never going to give birth. The nurse had the anesthesiologist come back in and he did something with her epidural again. This gave her enough relief that she did rest just for a bit. Justin sat quietly in the stool beside her bed. He held her hand and watched the monitor closely. Her mom took a seat on the couch, and I found myself in the rocker. We were all tired, but I had no place to complain... she was the one doing all the work.

I looked up at the clock and it was 12:34. The room was silent. The only thing we heard was the beat of Brayden's heartbeat on the monitor and the tick of the clock above me. As we sat quietly, each of us trying to stay awake, I once again found myself in prayer asking God to let her deliver safely, with no complications and soon. I sat there thinking how truly, truly blessed I was to be a part of a day that would forever be so special in their lives. There is nothing sweeter then the birth of a child. The room fills with excitement, tears, joy, and happiness that will do nothing but build in the days, weeks, months, and years ahead. The door cracked open and in came the nurse. She asked, "doing okay?" Justin replied to her, "well we didn't have a baby while you were gone." It was funny. I have to give him major kudos. He never left her side. He encouraged her, and you could tell that he was in this with all of his heart. I told his mother, and Marsha that they should both be very proud.

2:00 a.m. she started to push. The exhaustion that was in the room was now overcome by adrenaline. It wouldn't be long now. The moment we all had waited for would be here at any moment. Camera in hand I found my place in the corner. Justin on the left side of her bed, her mom on the right. Everyone in the room giving her those words of encouragement, and she was giving it her all. The doctor came in just before Brayden was born, as they all do and with a few good pushes Brayden found himself in the arms of his mother. The moment was one that I can't explain. It was if I was reliving the moment of holding my sweet babies for the first time. Your heart is overjoyed, your cup runneth over. Justin's face was filled with every emotion possible. He was proud, he was in love, and he had the biggest smile you've ever seen. Marsha was sobbing, and relieved that her baby was now out of pain, and her baby girl now knew the meaning of love. I stood to the side watching all of this unfold and immediately thanked God for His mercy, grace, and perfect blessings that day.

Brayden shocked us all. He was a big boy!! He weighed 8 pounds 10 ounces. We teased Amanda that he was going to give her a run for her money. He was perfect in every way. He laid in the warmer as the nurses checked him over, and I thought how amazing that he was just inside his mother, and now here he is for all of us to see. God is so good.

I don't think there was a dry eye in the room. If you have never witnessed a birth first hand, you don't know the feeling. It's a feeling that I can't explain. I want too, but I just don't feel I can even remotely come close to what it's really like. All I can say is I watched a miracle. The sweet cry he made when he took his first breath, the color of his skin, the perfection of his ten tiny fingers and toes. The ability that God gives to women, the strength we didn't know we had. The love that we never thought we could feel. It's all there in that room. Tell me there's not a God and I'll have to tell you your wrong.

By this time it was now almost 4:30 a.m. I had officially been up for 24 hours. I said my farewells and headed home, in hopes of getting some much needed rest before my little guys would wake up at 7:00. On the ride home I just replayed all of the days moments again, and again in my head. I couldn't help but think about how Amanda will relive this day again and again in her own head. She'll look at that sweet baby lying in her arms and be amazed. She'll watch him grow, and learn and still be amazed. She'll thank God countless times for allowing her to be this child's mother. As the little song Carter sings, "my God is so good, so strong and so mighty, there's nothing my God can not do!!" How true is that? Just before I turned on the final stretch to my house the radio started playing, "Praise you in this storm". The tears began to flow and I thanked God for watching over my dear friend during that stormy part of her life as she welcomed her sweet baby into this world. I prayed that he would watch over Brayden as he grows, and watch over their family. It is my prayer that the love they felt on that early February morning will do nothing but grow stronger each and every day... I'm sure it will.
Mom and baby are doing great. They came home Saturday afternoon and are adjusting just fine to their new way of life! Thank you to all of you that sent me emails, comments, and prayers. You don't know how much they mean. THANK YOU!!!!

Amanda & Justin,
Thank you. I hope that the pictures I took for you will be something you will treasure always. The two of you are going to be wonderful parents, and I am so proud of you. Brayden is absolutely perfect, beautiful, and I just love him. I want you to know that God allowed the birth of your son to remind me of how truly blessed I am to be a mother, to have healthy children, and to be able to experience such a joy in life. I pray that Brayden brings that same joy and happiness into your homes. From what I saw yesterday, he's already doing a wonderful job!!!! Many years of love, peace, happiness, good health and precious memories to you all!!!
love...Jennifer

What a day

2010-02-05T12:56:00.000-05:00

Just wanted to give a quick update. Amanda delivered Brayden at 3:10 a.m. this morning. He weighed 8lbs. 10oz.! They are both doing well, mom is just tired. I will update with pictures and more excitement later today or tomorrow. She was in labor for 20 hours and I didn't get home until 5:00 this morning. I'm running on two hours of sleep, and I'm about to prop my eyes open with toothpicks. The boys are up, running wild, and I'm not even sure I'm coherent, LOL! I've not pulled an all-nighter like that since I was in my early 20's! Whew... I know now why I don't do that anymore!

Thank you to those of you that kept her in your prayers. God is good, and we are so thankful that He watched over both Amanda and Brayden into the wee hours of the morning this a.m.. I promise to post pictures soon. For now, I'm going to say prayers of my own that these children of mine have pitty on this tired soul and let me take a GOOD nap!!!

This is it!

2010-02-04T06:04:00.000-05:00

The call just came, the hospital is ready for my friend Amanda. We are on our way to the hospital. I ask that you all keep her and Brayden in your prayers. I will update as soon as possible with how they are doing!!

I'm out of here, the excitement is about to kill me!!! Have a great Thursday!

I'm not a patient person...

2010-02-02T15:23:00.000-05:00

It's only Tuesday, and it seems like already I've been a thousand places this week. It feels like I have accomplished more in two days then I have in the past two months. What's my deal you ask? Well, I'm nesting! Yep, you read that correctly and it's not even for myself, that's the strangest part. My best friend, Amanda, is expecting her baby boy any minute. I'm as excited as I was when I was expecting my boys. My house is as clean as it can be. I've even gone as far as to clean out closets. I'm not kidding. I've cleaned out Carter's, Tucker's, and the office has been rearranged and organized. I think I may have a problem, LOL!

I just can't wait. I am on pins and needles waiting for her call. Each time the phone rings I get butterflies thinking it could be her. I'm so excited to be a part of their special day. I keep thinking of what joy and happiness that the photos my friend Kari did for me of Tucker's birth, and I can't wait to give Amanda the same gift.

I'm sure she is anxious, and excited, and all the other emotions that flood a new moms soul in the days prior to delivery. I can't help but think of the night before I had Tucker. I was as inpatient then as I am now!!! Please keep my dear friend in your prayers. Pray for a safe, and quick delivery. Pictures of sweet baby Brayden will be up soon!!!