The Dead Blog Blog

Horton hears its prey

2011-01-18T18:27:00.001-05:00

You know how frustrating it is when you can't find crossbow information quickly enough? Yeah, me too. Well, in October, 2007, one very thoughtful soul took care of that problem for all of us. Here is the Horton Crossbow Blog. Horton, obviously, being one of the world's foremost crossbow manufacturers. Site design is of no concern to the true crossbow enthusiast. It's all about the... well, you get it.

The last post, April 15, 2008, is called "reCon 175 arrives." I guess the arrival of the reCon was just too much for Horton to handle because that was the day this blog was taken out like a gentle woodland creature caught in the sights.

Captain, we've gone to warp.

2011-01-09T23:11:00.004-05:00

The people at the Warp Light Therapy blog have got all the answers. As their tagline goes, they're "Improving the Quality of Life Through the Power of Light." What, you may ask, does that mean, exactly? It's actually quite simple. And by simple, I mean overly complicated. You can study the specs here. Needless to say, I guess the technology never exactly reached top speed because the blog stops dead in its tracks on December 19, 2006.

It all ended so Sugden-ly

2011-01-06T19:34:00.001-05:00

This one is a real throwback to the days when every website looked like crap. In case you don't know what I mean have a look at the Sugden Family's Webpage. Notice the block letters, in classic wood colour, and of course, slanted. Remember when you first figured out how to slant text? I guess now it's ironic art...

I'm not dead.

2011-01-06T16:41:00.002-05:00

And neither is this blog. It's been in a coma. A bad coma. But, not dead.

A lost Seoul

2009-11-13T17:45:00.000-05:00

This is the Big Electric Kurva (in Korea). A pretty decent blog if I do say so myself. At least is was up until October 19, 2004. That's when the updates stop with an ominous posting entitled "That electric fan is going to kill you someday." That's what my mom always used to tell me. The posts are pretty varied in subject. They range from things like "The Bedspread" to "Weed to control hooligans" to "Facing reality." I guess reality was just too real for this blogger.

Turn off the Fausett

2009-11-10T20:25:00.012-05:00

Here's the Fausett family. They're really happy. Here's daddy according to Ike. That was 922 days ago. There was also the wild day when they found mud in the bird bath and TP in the potty. 929 days ago. And who could forget the ode to Michelle, posted 931 days ago. But it all came to a halt 651 days ago with a (2 picture) retrospective of little Elijah. On that fateful day, the posts stopped flowing from the Fausett family. Not even a drip.

Taking Skok of the situation

2009-11-10T19:29:00.008-05:00

The Skok family is a modern bunch. They have a blog so that's pretty good. They also have a photo gallery. Even better. Unfortunately the blog only has 3 posts and the photo gallery is a bit, shall we say, on the lame side? (One of my personal favorites here...looks like half the family went for a bathroom break.) It was a good attempt but unfortunately the Skoks just couldn't cut it in the blogosphere.

It's a bit of a sore spot...

2009-11-10T18:44:00.006-05:00

The Soresen family has got it all. By "it all" I mean a goofy photo of the family in karate outfits. It all started out pretty promising on July 27, 2008 with a prophetically-titled post "First Attempt." Tragically, as is the case with so many well-intentioned blogs, the first attempt was also the Sorensen's last because that's the whole blog. Hopefully they're too busy breaking planks of wood with their foreheads to contribute.

My, what big eyes you have...all the better to see no blog posts with

2009-11-06T23:47:00.006-05:00

Welcome to the Little Red Blog. More like the little written blog. Billed as "Rarely read thoughts of one American." Rare indeed.

What the Buck happened here?

2009-11-02T20:13:00.008-05:00

Meet Buck Allred. As you can see, he's clearly a serious guy. Buck likes politics, 80s nostalgia, and farting. This is a sweet blog. It's got it all. At least it did up until September 24, 2008. On that dark day, it all ceases pretty abruptly with a post on the 2008 government bailout. I guess Buck never received his TARP funding because that's the end of the blog. Nice Bucking job.

A cut above

2009-10-30T18:31:00.010-04:00

What do you do if you have a knife that's gone dull and you don't know how to make it sharp again? Check out KnifeSharpeningTips.com, of course. This blog is packed with really helpful bits of information such as, Move to a more moderate sharpening grit. Or How to remove nicks when sharpening. Finally. There's also a super fun challenge put to the readers called How sharp can you get your knives? Prove it! Zero responses on that one, by the way. There's even an arts section here pointing out the incorrect stropping techniques seen in the recent Sweeney Todd movie. I knew the Hollywood Reporter was missing something from its review. The blog, unfortunately, ceases on February 13, 2008 with a post on the Spyderco Sharpmaker. A dark day for knifists everywhere.

It's duck season...no it's wabbit season

2009-10-30T17:11:00.005-04:00

Ah, shooting things. One of the all time great hobbies. Here is the definitive Hunting Blog. This blog is important. It raises questions like "Do you think a spring hunting season should be opened on snow geese?" Or "Bowhunters. I have a 27 inch draw, I use a PSE compound bow. What length of arrow should I be shooting?" That one gets extra points for the concise headline. Unfortunately this blog is stopped dead in its tracks on December 26, 2008 with the question "When is Pennsylvania's hunting season?" Now we'll never know.

This blog is missing that je ne sais quois...

2009-10-26T20:40:00.008-04:00

Pierre Grandmaison has a great life. On February 6, 2007 he got a new laptop, a sweet Inspiron 9400. On June 3, 2006 Pierre told us of his plans to get in shape by joining his local Ultimate league in an in-depth report called Sporting it up. Guess that never really panned out for Pierre because on February 6, 2007 in an entry called, oh god, Y-M-C-A! Going to the Y-M-C-A!, the blogs final post, Pierre again informs us that after 2 years of inactivity, it's time to get in shape. Maybe it actually happened that time. Au revoir Pierre, bonne chance.

And then there were none

2009-10-26T19:24:00.006-04:00

Say hello to Average Adam. His page is a self-proclaimed "personal blog of a happily mediocre 'adult.'" Mediocre indeed, Adam. The blog stops abruptly on November 8, 2008 with a post entitled Hope. In all honesty, this blog was doomed from the start. There's no focus here, Adam. The posts range in subject from Canadian university hockey to shaving to the role of Russia in determining global oil prices, of course. This blog left the world the same way it came in, without anybody, anywhere caring.

Perfect irony

2009-10-25T12:46:00.013-04:00

Sometimes it's just too easy. This is the Personal Development Blog. It's filled with great information on how one can improve their life. The last entry was June, 2009's How to deal with setbacks. Or January 2007's truly inspirational Let's bring out beauty to share. A deeply moving poem about some shit no one cares about. My personal favorite is the post from March 16, 2008 aptly titled Finishing the goals you set. Job well done.

Hoelter skelter

2009-10-23T11:16:00.008-04:00

Here are the Hoeltings. This blog starts out very promising. On September 25, 2006, one family member goes in to detail on the benefit of families in general and why the Hoeltings are such a good one. I was totally with her. Unfortunately the first post was also the peak for this blog, it gets crappy fast. After we're treated to the musings on family, we're given a couple of test posts and some junk about Harry Potter. Finally, on August 25, 2007, we're given our last look at the Hoelters, a glimpse of their visit with Bob the Builder at the Omaha Children's Museum. I guess the experience was simply too overwhelming for the Hoeltings to go on.

The Butler didn't do it

2009-10-23T10:16:00.009-04:00

Mary Butler is an online media professional. Which is why it's so strange that her blog stopped so abruptly about 10 months ago. You should know better Mary. I really enjoyed reading your notes from a wireless road trip on July 6, 2008. I had a really great day on September 24, 2008. That was the day we got to meet Dave from Sabermetrati. Riveting stuff. But it all stops after Mary lets us know that she'll be attending her first SXSW. Guess the anticipation was too much for her to handle. Hope you enjoyed the show, Mary. Rock on.

He Weaved the tapestry of life

2009-10-22T15:14:00.011-04:00

Gabriel Weaver is a smart guy. On April 5, 2007 he showed us how to develop a humanities business. On March 22, 2007, he enlightened us on the benefits of archiving and preservation. But my personal favorite was this blog's last post on November 1, 2007, Introduction to Semiotic Domain Models. Sure that's all well and good, but what am I supposed to do with just the introduction. Sheesh.

Swing Lowe, sweet chariot

2009-10-21T19:26:00.010-04:00

The Lowe family blog starts out on November 28, 2008 with noble and lofty intentions. Here it is in its entirety:

My first post is my first blog post ever. I had to just get something started on the blog. If I didn't start then I'd spend all my time looking for skins, blogging software, how to articles, and never get around to actually writing anything!

Stay tuned for more about what this blog is about and what content you can expect.

Well, I guess Mr. (or Mrs.) Lowe was just another casualty in the war against skins, blogging software and how to articles because that is all there is. Too bad. I had high hopes for the Lowes.

Ghost town

2009-10-21T18:57:00.009-04:00

Welcome to Brooksburg. Population: 6. The happiest place on Earth. I mean, just look at Maxwell. This kid never stops. And who could forget September 24, 2008? That was the day of the banana boat family reunion. But I think this really sums up why Brooksburg is such a wonderful place. At least it was up until December 13, 2008. That's when the fun stops. For all of us.

Goede and gone

2009-10-21T18:22:00.012-04:00

Ah, the Goede family. I really liked them. They were the real deal. I remember when precious Jack came into the world. And who could forget June 24, 2008? That was the day the photo galleries were added to flickr. A blog-worthy moment if there ever was one. So where are the Goedes now? Goede only knows.

Been there, Ditt that

2009-10-21T17:25:00.020-04:00

This is Ditt. These are Ditt's Deets. Ditt don't do seafood sub sandwiches on the subway (say that 10 times fast). Ditt introduced her blog like this: "These posts will be random thoughts and observations, and I must warn you that it will probably consist of a lot of complaining." Well, I guess Ditt and I have different definitions of "a lot" because after the July 23, 2004 rant about the seafood sub, the kvetching stops. Oh well, guess Ditt didn't have any more Deets to dish.

Dunn like dinner

2009-10-20T18:33:00.005-04:00

Meet the Dunn family. The Dunn's are a simple clan. They only had one desire in the world. For Jack to eat his vegetables. Well, on June 8, 2009, he did. Now the Dunns are done with blogging. Congratulations, Jack.

Dr. Livingston, I presume?

2009-10-20T18:23:00.004-04:00

Say hi to Brian Livingston. Brian's a big Second Life fan and wants the world to know. Hey that's cool Brian. Nothing wrong with Second Life. So where did you go? The rest of us aren't done hearing about your new Asus eeepc. But personally, I need to know what happened to the sculpty wreaths.

Blue Jays Bubble bursts

2009-10-20T18:11:00.005-04:00

This is the Blue Jays Bubble, a blog dedicated to my beloved Toronto Blue Jays. Not really sure what happened here. The last post was made after opening day, 2009 and was called Great start for the Jays. After that, nothing. I guess the reality was too much for this blogger. After a solid start to the 2009 season, the Jays quickly slipped in the standings and finished the season with a record of 75-87, pretty crappy. Still, to stop after opening day...that's pretty weak, blue jays bubble guy.