The Diary of Jane

Weekend Update

2008-12-30T20:08:00.001-06:00

My step-dad had a liver transplant in September. Came home in time for Halloween. Went back into ICU and was transferred back to the transplant center on XMas eve. He has a fungal infection, apparently it's affecting his heart and he's not reacting well to the one and only treatment. I'm tired of feeling like I'm on an episode of House. Just make him better already, kthnx.

My furnace broke Thursday night after a frightening series of clanks followed by a rather loud CLUNK. Guy came out yesterday and rather thoroughly inspected it all, diagnosed it as a 'really dead motor', ordered a part and scheduled an appointment to come out on Monday and fix the thing. But apparently it was only temporarily broken because tonight it appears to be working fine. How does that happen?

3 of the walls in my living room decided they were powerless on Sunday. No TV, no lamps, no nothing that needed to be plugged in. And remember, no heat. I was totally Amish, except for the buttons. Monday night, I found a super secret double emergency breaker box in the upper cabinet in my kitchen (add that one to the TWO in the basement and one in the garage). I flipped all the switches to off and then back on and everything was magically all better. Could that be what happened to my furnace too?

Twain got a motorcycle for Christmas. He's been driving it around the house since we got home at 6. I want to throw it out the window. My house is basically a circle. You can go from the livingroom into Twain's room, then into my room, then the bathroom, the kitchen, the dining room and back to the livingroom. There's no hallway (and therefore no creepy lil twins asking him to come play with them) just and endless circle for riding in.

Christmas!

2008-11-22T11:37:00.004-06:00

Ok, not yet. And really, not even close. But I'm feelin it this year and I'm THRILLED about it.

We'll put up the tree in a week or so - we didn't put one up at the apartment last year, there just wasn't room. But this year we'll have one in our living room and THAT makes me happy. We do simple Christmases. Not a ton of money spent, smallish thoughtful gifts and lots of time with family. I think this year, by the time I'm done, I will have spent about $50 on each kid... and that's enough.

What's COMPLETELY awesome about the whole deal is that w/gas prices down to around $1.45/gallon, there was no budgeting required this year. No scooching of obligations, no credit card purchases. I've gone from putting around $100/week in my tank to somewhere around $30/week. That's HUGE!

I even bought myself something for Christmas, and that NEVER happens. Granted, it's not NEW, it's from Craigslist, and I wouldn't have ever thought I'd go for blue furniture - I've always been an earth tones kind of girl, but I really do like this set, and I NEED a new couch. So yay me. (Especially since the set was $60!)

Bratty kids...

2008-11-13T22:04:00.002-06:00

So, Madison texted me from the school bus and asked if she could be sick tomorrow. It's my day, but tonight is her dad's night, so it's really up to him whether she goes to school tomorrow.

So I asked her if she was really sick, and she said "no, but I can make dad think I am."

I got home at about 540 and not 10 minutes later, Walt called and said that when he got home, Madison told him she'd thrown up and that she was running a fever. So she's staying home tomorrow. I almost feel bad because I KNOW she's not sick and I didn't tell him... but hey, if he's THAT easily fooled, she can play hooky.

Date Night

2008-11-12T23:00:00.002-06:00

Doug and I had a date tonight - first time we've gotten gussied up and gone out in who knows how long.

We went to Journey Steakhouse @ the Argosy Casino. Seriously, the food was so amazing, I thought I might have a When Harry Met Sally moment while I was eating. We had bacon wrapped shrimp with this amazing spicy/sweet sauce drizzled over it, steak and potato, and I had a spinach salad with the biggest, freshest, most flavorful raspberries you could possibly imagine. Gawd, I ate til I was Thanksgiving full and topped it off with a really nice Shiraz from Australia.

We're packing up and heading out to Manhappiness this weekend - I think I'll go out Hwy 36 and come down through farm country (yes, there's a part of Kansas I consider more 'farmy' than the rest). We'll drive by the farm where my Dad grew up, and it's a much prettier drive in the fall than I-70. I'll be meeting my latest nephew, and checking up on Jerry, and the kids are crazy excited that Grampa is home from Omaha.

We're planning a trip out to DC this summer - any tips from anyone who lives along the way? We're road-tripping since I'm far too poor to fly 4 people out there, and then (hopefully) staying w/relatives in Maryland.

Getting off my ass...

2008-11-08T14:03:00.006-06:00

Yes, I know it's been awhile. I haven't even thought about blogging since I got so wrapped up in everything else and here it is 10 months later!

What's changed?

I bought a house with a little assistance from Mom and moved in in May:

I LOVE it. It was 4 bedrooms, but I converted the smaller of the 2 upstairs rooms into a walk-in closet/dressing room for the girls. They're happy as clams up there in their space.

The house is just over 100 years old and has the original hardwood floors and mouldings which are GORGEOUS. I'm just so happy there.

What else?

We have 2 cats, sorry, no pics. Vladimir came to live with us in May and Hannibal joined us in September or so. Both black cats and SO different. But they get along really well and neither of them are terribly annoying.

Twain is growing up faster every day. He's a veritable chatterbox these days, and has started making up stories to see what sort of reactions he gets. Here's him and Doug building a lego tower just today:

The girls are doing awesome. Madison is in SIXTH GRADE! That's the grade I was in when I was so in love w/Shon Rowe that I thought I'd go crazy. Thankfully, she's not so in to boys or any of those social things. She plays basketball and sings in choir and plays the sax and gets excellent grades and loves to hang out w/me watching dorky movies.

Cady is amazing too, though she IS a bit too in to boys. She emailed me the other day - from my livingroom - to tell me all about how in love she is with the boy down the street. So I enrolled her in volleyball and make sure she's really busy with other stuff. Thank all the gods that she's only 8!

Jerry (my step-dad) had a liver transplant in September. He's doing awesome and was released to go home almost exactly 8 weeks post-op. Still doing physical therapy, but he's very glad to be home, and we're ALL so very thankful that the donor's family made the decision they did. He would not be with us now if they hadn't.

We joined the YMCA last summer so the kids would be able to take swimming lessons and stuff. Doug jumped on the membership this past month and we're going to be working out in the evenings. My goal? To start running again. I miss it so much, and am really motivated to start it up - though I know it won't be as easy as it was when I was 10! Madison and I are going to do the 'couch to 5K plan' and hopefully Jerry and Cady will jump on too. The goal? To do a 5K w/the 3 generations in March 2010.

January Part 2

2008-01-10T11:02:00.000-06:00

So, a random google search for a former employer rather inexplicably sent me to this story on the BBC...

32 Horses Found Dead. 80 More Rescued.

How freaking insane is THAT? (Not so much the ending up there, but the story itself)

And a friend sent me this, which made me laugh uproariously.

Bono, lead singer of the rock band U2, is famous throughout the entertainment industry for being more than just a little self-righteous. At a recent U2 concert in Glasgow , Scotland , he asked the audience for total quiet. Then he started to slowly clap his hands, once every few seconds.Holding the audience in total silence, he said into the microphone, 'Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies...'A voice with a broad Scottish accent from the front of the crowd pierced the quiet... 'Well, fookin stop doin' it then, ya evil bastard!'

I'm still engaged in a hunt for the perfect job. Which is a lot like hunting snipe, I think.

Resolution number 8: Continue making real effort to find a better paying, if not altogether better, job. Deadline: April 2008.

Captain's Log 01/09/2008

2008-01-09T13:40:00.000-06:00

Interesting that the title of the blog is what I always agonize about the most. It's like when I was single and posting ads on Yahoo and Plenty of Fish and stuff. You MUST have a headline!!!!!

Well, gawd, I never thought of my LIFE as headline-worthy, let alone ME. So how come we have to title everything? Can't it just be dated?

Grrr.

Anyway... I looked into training to become a Family Law Mediator today. We ALL know that I'm never going to law school. I'll be lucky to finish my Bachelors before I'm 80. But it turns out that a couple of times a year, the University in Springfield offers a 40 hour training session for mediation. I can get in on that for about $950 for the training plus a room while I'm there and the time off work. I can't make the next session, it's in February... but I'm going to shoot for doing it this year.

Resolution number 1: Complete Family Law Mediation Training by 01/01/2009.

I've rejoined FitDay and have been tracking my calories and stuff. I do ok when I can access it from work and update it as I go through my day. Not so good on catching up after a weekend though so I'm kind of on the honor system for it. The goal isn't necessarily to lose weight, though that'll be a nice side benefit for me. The goal is to eat healthier and make better choices about what goes into my body.

Resolution number 2: Make better food choices by tracking calories on FitDay.

There's a work-out room at the apartment complex where I live. I've been in there TWICE. Really, it's ridiculous how little I've availed myself of the services available to me. And yet I feel perfectly justified in bitching about the size of my ass and the way I look in my clothes. Nevermind the way I look OUT of them. Bleh!

Resolution number 3: Use the work out room at least 2 nights per week. Take a walk at least 3 mornings per week.

The girls and I love board games and have a ton of them. And yet... we rarely play them. We're always busy with Brownies or Basketball or homework or nothing at all. And I realized this morning, in that way that you realize things ALL OF A SUDDEN that have been under your nose FOREVER that Madison is well on her way to not needing me anymore. She's 11. Over half her time of being MINE is gone.

Resolution number 4: Play a game or engage in a family activity that is NOT television related at least 1 night per week.

Resolution number 5: Have a girls' movie night once per month.

I am woefully out of touch. Really and truly have NO IDEA what the pop-culture of today is all about. I mean, if it's on NPR I know about it. Or if I can read it on the MSNBC ticker, or if it's on Discovery Channel... but I haven't listened to new music in forever, and I generally have NO idea what is playing at the theaters or who is in concert where, or even who it's still cool to give a crap about when I see them on the cover of Enquirer at the grocery store. I don't want to be THAT mom... the one who buys her 17 year old a gift that she wouldn't have liked at 10.

Resolution number 6: Actually TALK to the girls about what's cool and hip and stuff w/them. Turn off NPR in the mornings on the way to the babysitter and actually listen to THEIR music. No matter how painful it might be.

I am VERY lucky to have a man like D in my life. He is simply amazing, and I can quite honestly say that he's one of the best people I've ever met in my life. You know those people that you meet and say "He's good people."? That's him. Somehow, he fell in love with me and I'm just continually grateful that that's true.

Resolution number 7: Remember to appreciate the people who love me. Every day.

I think that's enough for now. Other than blogging more. But I promise to do THAT all the time.

Lost and Found

2007-12-30T10:43:00.000-06:00

The kids and I have had to come to terms with a lot of loss over the past few years. We lost Rebel and Weasle and Wolfie and TiggerTom and Sadie and Orca and Special and Lil Bit.

I'm probably going to have to sell SkyHigh (the remaining horse) soon.

This weekend, I thought we'd lost Finnegan. Doug was putting him into the backyard for some outside time, and the dog wriggled loose and took off. We tromped through the neighborhood, following tracks and passing out fliers forever yesterday. And then we drove around some more. We hung posters at gas stations and grocery stores and pet stores. Doug posted ads on craigslist and KCPetfinder.com and I posted an ad on Petfinder and w/the local dog shelter.

I'd pretty much decided that he wasn't coming home and I was trying to not blame Doug - because it's not really his fault the dog is an idiot - and trying to figure out how to explain to the kids that they'd lost yet another loved pet.

This morning... we got a phone call from someone who'd seen Doug's ad on KC Pet Connect. This lady has had Finnegan since Friday night (which is when he disappeared). He's been fed and warm and dry in her garage while she tried to find out who owned him.

So he's home. And I am SO glad to have him back. I know that lots of people don't have any idea how much my pets mean to me ... and I'm ok with that. I'm not gonna treat them like slightly dim humans in order to prove that I love them. But I am SO happy that my dumbass dog is sitting on the deck right now. So happy.

And I'm very glad that it was Doug's ad that brought him back.

Blessings counted...

2007-12-14T14:05:00.000-06:00

Sometimes, it seems that my blog is one big series of unfortunate events. And my resolution this year is to make it not so much THAT, but just a 'keep up with the jones girl' kind of thing. Because honestly... good stuff happens now and then. So how come we only blog about the BIG things?

Little things... I'm NOT going to let the Alan Jackson song get stuck in my head... I swear... but those little things that are so often overlooked? They're the ones that matter. Yes, it's corny. But dammit, it's also true.

I have the BEST family. I really do. Back when I was a kid? All of my friends called my Mom 'mom'. Some of them STILL call her just to talk, and she still worries about them as if they were her own.

My parents lost power during the big ice storm... almost 20K people in their lil town lost power. And man, it sounded like HELL to me. Trapped. Inside. W/no power AT. ALL. Bleh. So I called them yesterday and asked them how they were doing, and my stepdad said he was having a great time. Reading by lantern light and there was a pot of soup on the woodburner that was making the house smell good. And, earlier in the day, him and my mom had sat on the dining room floor and played jacks by candle light.

Crazy, eh? But awesome too.

Of course, my kids are wonderful. Nearly goes w/out saying. They'll be with me this weekend after 5 days w/their dad. The transition back is always a bit difficult, but my incredible boyfriend and I are going to try to make it less so this week and in the weeks to come. Those poor kids probably feel like they don't really LIVE anywhere lately... couple days at my apartment, couple of days at their dad's house, couple of days at D'man's house... they're gypsies and I wonder why they sometimes ACT like it.

And that boyfriend. He really is the most wonderful man I know. I lurve him, I really do.

Things really could be oh so much worse in my life. Someone whack me when I forget, ok?

The Land of Blahs...

2007-11-14T20:35:00.000-06:00

I am NOT in the holiday spirit. Not. At. All.

Oh sure, most of my Xmas shopping is done, I'm making plans... I'm even looking forward to decorating the apartment and Doug's house. But I'm not feeling it.

I talked to Mom tonight and she's not feeling it either. I asked her if she'd bought the turkeys for TGiving and Xmas yet and she seemed surprised. She hadn't even thought about it. She's done no shopping at all.

So... we're going to fake it til we feel it, I suppose. I drug the box o Xmas crap outta the boogey man hole tonight and started going through it. Maybe getting some of it arranged will help a bit.

And speaking of the boogeyman hole... get this.

I decided to get out the Winter clothes for the kids this past week. I sorted and straightened and made a pile for the babysitter's kid of stuff that Cady had outgrown and a pile for Cady of stuff that was either hers last year and still fits or that Madison had outgrown (and let me tell you... Madison has outgrown EVERYTHING).

I made a big ol pile of jeans on the floor in the girls' room and told Cady she could choose 10 pr of jeans that she LOVES and keep them. The rest were going away.

An hour later, she'd narrowed her choices to the pants she can't live without.

For giggles, I had her count the ones that were going away. Guess.

Higher. Way higher.

Yeah... 32 PAIRS OF JEANS!

32 Pairs that she WASN'T keeping.

How the hell did that happen?

So yeah, away they go. Because it is, after all, almost Christmas. Which means more crap.

It's reverse bulimia of stuff. Must purge before the binge.

Those oh so dreadful song lyrics...

2007-10-22T20:44:00.001-05:00

You know the ones... they're morally reprehensible and serve no purpose but to pollute young minds with thoughts of violence, greed, infidelity and irresponsibility.

I mean, for gawd's sake, check out THESE lyrics that my daughter brought home from school today... I know you know the song, but have you EVER paid attention to the actual words?

http://www.momsminivan.com/lyrics.html
In a cavern, in a canyon,
Excavating for a mine,
Lived a miner, forty-niner,
And his daughter Clementine.

CHORUS
Oh my darling, oh my darling,
Oh my darling Clementine
You are lost and gone forever,
Oh my darling, Clementine.

Light she was, and like a fairy,
And her shoes were number nine,
Herring boxes without topses,
Sandals were for Clementine. [Chorus]

Drove she ducklings to the water
Every morning just at nine,
Hit her foot against a splinter,
Fell into the foaming brine. [Chorus]

Ruby lips above the water,
Blowing bubbles soft and fine,
But alas, I was no swimmer,
So I lost my Clementine. [Chorus]

In a churchyard near the canyon,
Where the myrtle doth entwine,
There grow roses and other posies,
Fertilized by Clementine. [Chorus]

Then, the miner, forty-niner,
Soon began to peak and pine,
Though in life I used to hug her,
Now she's dead I draw the line. [Chorus]

In my dreams she still doth haunt me,
Robed in garments soaked with brine,
Though in life I used to hug her,
Now she's dead I draw the line. [Chorus]

Listen fellers, head the warning
Of this tragic tale of mine,
Artificial respiration
Could have saved my Clementine. [Chorus]

How I missed her, how I missed her,
How I missed my Clementine,
Till I kissed her little sister,
And forgot my Clementine. [Chorus]

Or how about this one? Did you know it's about the plague?

http://www.zelo.com/FAMILY/NURSERY/ringroses.asp
Ring-a-ring o' roses,
A pocket full of posies,
Achoo!, Achoo!
We all fall down.

Don't even get me started on Little Bunny Foo Foo... all that head bopping and goon creating.

Disgraceful, I tell you! Do we pay NO attention to what we're teaching our children?

I'm a retro girl...

2007-10-19T13:54:00.000-05:00

It's true. I'm a bit behind the times. I still tend to hum Rick Springfield under my breath far more often than I do ... well... whoever is popular now.

I adopted the grunge look along with everyone else in the early 90's... and I've steadfastly stuck with it to the point that my neice wants to 'report me' to What-Not-To-Wear and Kendra has threatened to burn all my black v-neck t-shirts.

But ya know... I'm 34 years old. I really should be updating something... somewhere... yes? I realized the other day that I still have a Rollins Band t-shirt that I wear pretty often. And I think of it as an 'older' shirt. It's 17 years old! The SHIRT is the same age I was when I bought it!!!!! F*ck.

And my favorite jeans? I was lamenting the other day about the quality of them because they're falling apart. But ya know what? I bought them in 1994. They SHOULD be rags.

But honestly... can any of you picture me in anything except what I've been wearing every day since 1991? Really?

Someone needs to take me shopping. Any volunteers?

Help?

2007-10-19T13:27:00.000-05:00

I don't 'get' the games that everyone plays on their PCs... WoW and Evercrack? I have Frogger on my PS2 and that makes me happy.

So someone explain to me why I am obsessed w/the Sims. I really thought that the people going so crazy over it when it came out, and soooo anticipating Sims2 were slightly dim. Barbie dolls for grownups, right?

But holy cow. I d/l the original off Limewire the other night and I play until I crash. I *gasp* found myself talking about the characters as if they had personalities! I have become a crazy person.

I'm buying Sims2 tonight for the playstation. Someone shoot me.

I'd like to thank the Academy...

2007-10-04T14:37:00.001-05:00

Ok, not really. But this is interesting and so I'm sharing it.

http://www.rd.com/content/the-new-science-of-being-thankful/

What if, instead of wallowing in our misery, we all chose to focus on being valued by a dear friend, for example, or the memory of a colleague’s face when she receives a surprise birthday cake at work, or the smooth ride we’ve had to work in the past week? As science is now proving, feeling grateful can actually make us healthier, literally. Practicing gratitude, acknowledging the blessings in our lives and making it a point to recognize the good things can change us positively. We’ll sleep better and exercise more. We’ll feel more optimistic. We’ll be more alert and active. And if we do this over a period of time, we’ll realize that we’re making progress toward our life goals.

I like this idea. And for the past couple of years, since my life essentially melted down and I had to claw my way back up, I've been making a concerted effort to be thankful for the little things rather than worried about the OTHER little things. And so far it's working.

I'm happier. I'm more centered. I'm a better mom. I don't sweat the small stuff, and I'm noticing more and more that I don't even notice the small stuff - can you notice that you're not noticing? Well, I have.

Other people are noticing too... I was called happy and social the other day. ME! No kidding. Craziness.

So yeah... being thankful, even if it's for a stunningly gorgeous moon rising over the horizon, or the sunrise greeting you when you open your front door... thankfulness tends to create things to be thankful for.

Put your head down and keep moving...

2007-09-24T20:20:00.000-05:00

That's been my philosophy since Stupidhead lost his mind and decided that his calling was making my life hell. Sometimes, like today, I feel like I just can't keep moving forward anymore. Not because of any huge dramatic THING but just because.

But, of course, I can't. Because I'm a mom - and a single one at that - and Moms just don't get to stop.

And then I hear about these people... the Raramuri, or Tarahumara - the running people. Apparently, this smallish population of native mexican people make running a way of life. They practice persistence hunting... running for up to 160km (100 miles to you n me) without stopping. That's right. They will RUN FOR 100 MILES without stopping to kvetch about their sore footsies.

And why on earth would they do this insane thing? Because eventually their prey gets tired and they can get close enough to kill it with their rudimentary weapons - sticks and stones.

There's inspiration to be found there somewhere... now I just wonder if I'm the Indian or the deer... ;)

Freak accidents

2007-09-22T21:48:00.001-05:00

This is a sad blog, so feel free to skip it.

As some of you already know, I had to have Orca put down on Tuesday night. She was playing in the pasture with another horse and took a kick that was at just the right angle... just the right amount of force... just the right amount of torsion as she turned away... and her leg was broken. Just like that. A blink. A kick. A horse just being a horse, and she's gone.

I got there right after the vet, and he didn't even need to show me the x-rays. Her leg wasn't right and anyone familiar with how the leg between the stifle joint and hock should be shaped would have known that the bone was broken.

She was in the prime of her life. An athlete like no horse I've ever known. That stupid horse would do laps of the pasture... just running. Not kicking up her heels, not playing, just ... running for the sheer pleasure of the wind in her mane. I loved to watch her almost more than I loved to ride her.

It's unfair and I'm going to rail against god a bit until I'm done being angry about it, but I have to be thankful for a couple of things too...

Orca was my dream horse. She was the horse that I dreamt of as a girl when I was riding all those scrubby ponies and the horses no one else could ride and begging for riding time from friends with horses and cleaning stalls for the opportunity to try not to get killed on some unbroke psychopath. All that time, I had this Thoroughbred that lived in my head. She was going to be 16 hands tall, and LOVE to jump. I wouldn't have to teach her how, because she'd just know how to pick spots and sail over fences. She'd have a star on her forehead and one sock - a small one, not too flashy. And she'd love me and no one else. No one else would even want to ride her - but she would come to me when I called her and nuzzle me and do anything I asked.

And she came true. Not everyone gets that lucky, yanno?

And I have to be thankful that my prayers weren't answered this time. The whole time I was driving up to the farm, I was making promises to god. Promising that I wasn't going to be greedy. That I would accept lame for life as long as I didn't have to choose death. I promised that if all she was ever suitable for was a pasture ornament, I'd accept that.

And that was selfish. Because you can't take a thoroughbred - or even a Paint who's only 90% thoroughbred - and punish them like that. You can't take a marathon runner and tell them to be happy that they can no longer walk. You just can't.

So I'm thankful that god knew that none of us really wanted to do that to Orca and took the decision out of my hands by making it a break that couldn't be fixed.

I'll miss her more than I can fathom. I will never replace her. She was my first love.

Bits and Pieces

2007-08-31T11:02:00.000-05:00

I am a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad Mom. Really. I completely and totally forgot that last night was Wild's back to school night. It's no excuse that I'd had a REALLY busy and REALLY stressful day, or that I don't have the girls on Thursday nights and so had no one to remind me. I forgot. Didn't go. Passed up the chance to meet all of her teachers. I suck.

Had a second interview yesterday for a purchasing position. They offered me the job, and while the salary offered is well withing the average range for that type of position, it's $5000 less/year than I was making at my other job. Sort of. Anyway, I accepted it because the $12/hour that they're offering for 90 days with a raise after that, is more than the $8.75/hour that unemployment pays, and I do have kids to feed.

I have a second interview scheduled with another company on Tuesday. Funnily enough, I REALLY want this job and part of the reason I accepted teh other one is because I hadn't heard back from these people and had lost hope that I would. So, I informed them that I was going to start work with another company on Tuesday but that I was VERY interested in interviewing for the position and asked if they could schedule me an evening interview. They were VERY accomodating and I have an interview with them on Tuesday at 5. I'm one of two candidates they've narrowed it down to.

The average salary for this position in KC is $31,000 MORE PER YEAR than the position I just accepted. That's right. More than TWICE what the job I accepted pays. Only slightly less than 2X what my last job paid. It's like a Cinderella story. Even if they didn't come anywhere near that amount, they already know what I made at my last job, and have already said "This position would represent a significant increase over your last position."

Cross your fingers. But regardless of what happens, at least I get to get up and go to work on Tuesday.

Have to go renew my tags today. Yup. I waited until the last day of the month to do-so. Aren't I BRILLIANT? Thankfully, I'm going to renew them in the next county over since that's where I owe property taxes and they have to be paid before I can renew, and that county only has 35,000 total residents. They can't ALL have tags that expire in August, right?

Ya know my horses that come when called? That just can't get to you fast enough and practically put their own halters on for you? They were supposed to get their toenails trimmed the other day. Apparently neither one of them would let anyone get close to them. Now, granted, I have NEVER had a person other than myself or Robbin attempt to catch my horses for me, but I have always just assumed that they would walk up to anyone to be caught since they come RUNNING hell bent for leather up to me. Apparently I was wrong. No pedicures for them.

I filed a contempt motion against Stupidhead on Monday. It was totally justified, and very well-founded and well-organized. But I'm still nervous as hell about it. The shit is going ot hit the proverbial fan when he gets served. And there's a very large, albeit chickenshit, part of me that wants to just take it all back. Go to the courthouse and tell the judge to forget he ever saw it. I hate that part of me.

Truth in advertising...

2007-08-18T13:13:00.000-05:00

So... around Christmas-time, I was dogless and kind of sad about it, and promised the kids that IF I found a terrier cross that would stay small, that was a boy, and that was FREE, that I'd get it. I knew that it was unlikely to happen, as it's not like we happen upon free dogs every day, right?

Of course, that very weekend, we were down at the lake visiting Eumie. And we went to Wal-Mart and there was a woman in the parking lot with a laundry basket full of the cutest puppies EVER.

And, of course, there was a sign on the basket that said "FREE TERRIER CROSS PUPPIES". And, of course, my kids can read. AND (because god hates me) there was one boy left.

I talked to the lady. She said that they were terrier cross puppies, that their parents were both small, blah blah bla.

Wanna see my cute LITTLE 9 month old terrier cross? Huh? Doya?

Yes, THIS is the dog that probably wouldn't ever weigh more than 20 pounds. Who, between the ages of 4 months and 6 months gained 15 pounds...

Part of the reason I wanted a terrier cross was the size. But the other part was their tendency to not shed. I've had terriers. I've never had one that left parts of himself all over the house.

This dog is apparently part collie because he's 'blowing' his coat. He's dropping HUGE clumps of hair every where he goes. Everywhere. There's a DRIFT of hair near his crate every morning. There is hair all over the back patio where he hangs out all day.

You can't shave them because their undercoat actually insulates them against the heat and they tend to get too hot if you clip them (sort of counter-intuitive, huh?)... so I bought a rake for removing loose undercoat. And I spent 10 minutes grooming him a bit ago.

10 minutes.

1) You CAN'T EVEN TELL that I brushed him.
2) I removed an entire Wal-Mart bag of hair from him.

I could weave a coat for the terrier mix I thought I was getting.

It's a good thing he's cute.

It's a SCAM I tell ya!

2007-08-15T22:37:00.000-05:00

A clever one though... more about that in a bit.

Sam was home with me today. I've been taking him to the sitter on Wed and Thurs even though I'm not working so we don't lose his spot and so I can get stuff done w/out chasing him around the house. About 30 minutes after I dropped him off this morning, Amanda called and asked me to come get him... her mother died this morning. I feel SO bad for her and there's nothing I can do. It made me think about the mortality of my own parents though... Mom's only 10 years younger than her mother was when she died... and not living the healthiest of lifestyles either. I know that 60 is the new 40, but it's scary for me.

When Sam woke up from his nap today, my first indication that he was awake was *knock knock knock* on his bedroom door followed by "Mo-o-o-om!" (Thanks Madison) So, I went in there to get him up. I've been redoing the kids' room while the girls are gone, and I was eager to get started again... but... Sam can now reach the door from his crib. And apparently the boy knows how to work the lock. WHY is there a lock on my kids' bedroom door?!?!

While I was picking the lock, he keeps knocking on the door - and he keeps saying Mo-o-o-om! And then... giggling MADLY. Like a crazy person. He was laughing so hard while I was picking the lock that I thought he was going to pass out. He's STILL amused by it. I was on the phone with Kendra, telling her about it, and the boy started laughing. Brat.

Went to see the Gin Blossoms with Doug this weekend. I LURVED them in college. And ya know what? They're just as good now as they were then... and I'm way less stoned now. One Lone Car opened for them... also a good band. Not bad for a free concert at Crown Center. Beats Air Supply, anyway.

The kids' bedroom... I hung shelves yesterday - just the wire type that are for closet organizers, but they look pretty good. Then, I hung milk crates from the bottom of one for more storage space, and from the bottom of the other one, I hung one of those sweater storage things that's basically fabric shelves. I managed to get everything Sam shouldn't touch either out of the room or up and out of reach. I rearranged the furniture to give them more floor space, and picked up a futon mattress tonight from a woman who posts on freecycle. Tomorrow, Madison's old mattress goes away. I hung new curtains too (THANK YOU AMY) ... they're denim and the tabs at the top are strips of denim with overall closures. They're SO perfect. Love them. The kids will too. Their room looks awesome and is a good blend of toddler/little kid/tween... not everyone could make that work, yanno.

And now, the scam. There was an ad on craigslist for a bookkeeper - the pay was outrageous at $1500/week, but I figured what the hell, right? So I sent my resume and a cover letter... today, I got an email reply. It's an 'investment' company in Germany who is looking for people to 'process paypal payments'. In exchange, you get to keep 5% of every dollar you process. Crap, right? Have the Nigerians moved?

I had an interview yesterday for a web content editor position. It would be THE perfect job... telecommuting, $20/hour... awesome.

Did you know people are willing to pay $100-$150/hour for people to clean their houses topless? I don't know a single woman who would pay a man to just stand around looking good... we want our men to be productive... I'll pay you to change my oil, clean my gutters, shovel my walk, whatever (have you ever noticed how euphemistic those all sound?) and I don't even care if you're hot. But pay you to stand around looking pretty with your skin all hanging out and stuff? No. Boyz are weird.

Words of wisdom

2007-08-09T23:25:00.000-05:00

Anger and jealousy can no more bear to lose sight of their objects than love.
George Eliot

My quote of the day... and it's so very true. It's why Walt won't get out of my ass, it's why his wife wants to take my kids from me... hell, it's why Tom logs into myspace every few days, I'm sure.

I really don't know what it is about me that makes people either love or hate me. There's never indifference - not since high school, anyway - maybe I used all of the indifference up then?

I know I'm not unique... but I often wonder why I inspire such strong reactions in others, when I'm so not prone to strong reactions myself.

Tonight was poker night. I was 4th, which means I didn't win any cash, but I got points - I'm in 6th place! Yeah, you have no idea how great that is, but it's awesome for someone who's prone to playing A 2 off-suit.

Had a job interview today. It's for a company that Doug actually used to be the HR manager for. It would actually be a pretty cool job that would sort of gather up all of the things I've done in other positions and roll them together nicely. And, it's 10 minutes from home... maybe 15, but still pretty cool after commuting over an hour every day for years. Benefits are good too. And the office is BEAUTIFUL. Seriously, this has never happened before, but I walked into a job interview with STRANGERS totally relaxed because it was impossible to get stressed out in their 'atrium'. ME, not puking before meeting new people. Wouldn't it be cool if I totally kicked this anxiety thing?

Stuff n junk

2007-08-07T21:05:00.000-05:00

So, I'm supposed to wear this stupid (and by that, I mean stoopid) splint on my hand for the next month. Other than its incredible uber attractiveness, the thing is HOT and it's making my hand smell bad. I take it off a lot because it bugs the hell out of me to wear it, and it STINKS. How do people survive casts? I'd hack off my arm. So yeah, I'm not making it a whole month, I just know it.

The girls are with their father - or rather, their step-mother - for the next 2 weeks. Part of me hopes, quite sincerely, that they're having a wonderful time. But there's another part of me... a slightly evil part... that hopes they're miserable and counting the days to come home. I miss the hell out of them already.

I've been doing the organizing that never gets done when I have the kids here, and I've filled a large rubbermaid tub with baby toys that Twain has outgrown... I'm giving those to a woman I play poker with on Thursday. I also managed to file 2 tubs with clothes that don't fit the girls or that I can't stand to look at anymore. I'll send those to Jenn for her Unruly one. The sad part? Their closet is still so full that I can barely fit everything in it. They have more clothes than any 5 children need... and I don't shop. What the hell happened?

Twain is changing Every. Day. I swear, when he wakes up from naps, he's bigger and smarter. He's been talking up a storm too - only not so much in English. But man, the boy has not been silent at all the past couple days. There's a toddler bed in my living room, just waiting for me to trust the boy enough to put him in it and ditch the crib. Part of me can't wait... but I don't trust him yet... and I don't trust the girls to keep their room clean. They've been doing ok... but not good enough yet. In the mean time, it sits in the livingroom like the biggest, bluest, racer carest toy box ever. He loves it.

No news in the job market. At least, no real news. I'm not discouraged yet... but I've run out of jobs to apply for on careerbuilder, monster, flipdog, sologig and manufacturinggigs... so I'm searching craigslist. I've sent resumes to 2 postings - one for a web content editor position that pays $20/hour and is a telecommuting position which would be kick ass. The other is an Office Manager position that pays... $1500/week. I'm not likely AT. ALL. to get either one, but someday by boredom has to pay off, right?

I've been working on Doug's website www.kcclassiccars.com ... I'm pretty happy with the changes I've made to it - it looks a LOT better than it did. Tomorrow, I'm going to start work on a print ad and tri-fold brochure for him. It's fun and pays... not a bad combo.

Something weird... Asshat has paid child support EVERY. SINGLE. FRIDAY since December. It's been like clockwork - $80.72 for the longest time and then recently it's been $100 every Friday... but no payment this week. What's up with that? We're not talking dire straits or anything like that (though money for nothin would be nice)... but I don't like when things change like that. I ENJOY predictability. I really do.

Weekend fun...

2007-07-30T18:23:00.000-05:00

Unruly not quite caught in the cargo net that was stapled to the ground.

Wild negotiating the rope version of the obstacle course...

Friends and neighbors... when you fall of this and land on your hand, it will most likely break. At least, mine did.

My team (the bastages) losing at tug-o-war after they voted my injured self off.

In other news, my ex called child services on me. Apparently I am an internet porn addict who leaves her kids alone all night long while she goes out drinking with her boyfriend. Like THAT's believable.

Family Fun...

2007-07-21T23:13:00.000-05:00

Amy's pics of the family picnic this summer...

My little man is a rockstar!

My Sweet Babboo...

My cousin Jesus...

Jones girls at play...

Stolen Quizzes...

2007-07-13T09:45:00.001-05:00

From Jenn's blog...

I am also Bert. Yay me.

You Are Bert

Extremely serious and a little eccentric, people find you loveable - even if you don't love them!

You are usually feeling: Logical - you rarely let your emotions rule you

You are famous for: Being smart, a total neat freak, and maybe just a little evil

How you life your life: With passion, even if your odd passions (like bottle caps and pigeons) are baffling to others

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

Turning tides and blessings in disguise...

2007-07-10T22:01:00.000-05:00

So, I lost my job on Friday. "Unsatisfactory work performance" ... uh-huh. Totally not true, as far as I know, but since it's an 'at will' state, it's not like they have to give me a reason at all, right? I cried for awhile, and woe-is-me'd for awhile, and then got down to the business of revamping my resume and sending it out. By close of business on Friday, I had emailed or faxed 8 resumes. Not too bad for a day's work, huh?

Saturday, Doug and Sammy and I drove out to Doug's mom's house for a family shin-dig. I love his family... all of 'em. They're funny and smart and decent parents and caring and not afraid to be affectionate with each other... it's a good family.

Monday, while driving back, I got a phone call from a recruiter who found my resume on careerbuilder and wanted to set up an interview for Tuesday. Within a few hours, I'd gotten another call from a different recruiter who also wanted to set up an interview. Went to both of those today, and they both went really well. The bonus is that both jobs pay about $15,000 more per year than I'm making now. Wouldn't that be awesome? It would seriously change my life.

My hopes aren't really UP, but they're not down either. I'm trying to be supremely confident that I will be employed again before my straits become dire.