The Dieting Man

Special K Diet: Monday's Report

2011-08-03T08:40:00.001Z

Some people hate Monday. Beginning of the working week, back to the grind, same old same old... Not me. I relish Monday mornings. For me, every Monday is a fresh start, the beginning of a new week in which something glorious is bound to happen. Maybe I'll make it big. Maybe my books will soar to Harry Potter-esque proportions. Maybe my waistline will slimto Matt Damon like proportions... Pipedreams? Maybe, but still: I love Monday.

This particular Monday got off to a cracking start. I'd had a good sleep, I was fresh and full of vigour, and it was warm, even for half six in the morning.

I had my bowl of Special K with skimmed milk, checked my favourite websites, and got ready for work.

I had my half-past-eight-mid-morning snack, and consumed a bottle of water.

At lunchtime I settled down with my Special K and skimmed milk, and Wife had bought me a fruit salad from ASDA. It contained a few slices of apple, about five strawberries, and a handful of grapes. I enjoyed it.

I had loads of time to kill, so I wandered down the road to ASDA. I browsed the latest DVD releases, pondered over whether or not to get the Fast and Furious blu ray boxset, and checked out the PS3 games. My trip to ASDA was a display of a serious lack of judgement. My eyes were drawn to the bottles of Frijj on offer for just 50p, and I bought one. I also bought a big bag of ASDA'S own M&M's, which I know taste like drops of summer on a blade of grass.

I paid for my forbidden goods, and wandered out of the store. I opened the bottle of Frijj and inhaled the gorgeous aroma of chocolate milkshake. I raised the bottle to my lips, and poured the thick liquid down my throat. Ah, the chilled shake glugged down into my stomach and felt sol nice. Cheesh, my mouth's watering just writing this. I knew I shouldn't be drinking it, but it was fantastic. I'd finished the bottle before I'd even cleared the car park.

I went back out to work, and munched my way through the chocolates. Again, so wrong, but so nice.

I knew I had to work it off, so that night I blasted away on the bike for twenty minutes and then danced to James Brown and It's Raining Men. Embarrassingly, I wasn't embarrassed.

I accrued just shy of the 1000 daily sweatpoints. I powered up Wii Fit, and weighed in. Bang on 14 stone. Damn. More work, less snacks.

I'll try harder.

The Dieting Man.

Special K Diet: Wednesday to Sunday: Update

2011-08-01T10:26:00.001Z

Ah, I see that I haven't updated for some time. There's good reason. As you may have deduced by now, I give my daily updates a day late. That is, if I blog on a Thursday, it's to give Wednesday's report.

Now last week, a semi-emergency situation raised its ugly head. You'd better grab a coffee, this is gonna be a long post...

So the trees in my back garden are huge. It's great and private, but they're just too big. It was time to cut them down.

Last weekend - as in 23rd July - I started chopping them down. It was pretty slow going, but Wife and I were managing. We'd fill about 6 garden sacks, load them into the Astravan, and take them tol the local waste disposal.

We had pretty much finished, when neighbour dude popped in. He thought we'd made great progress, and was pleased, as it was good for his garden. He then decided to help, and grabbed his chainsaw. Yeah, that's right, chainsaw. He did a great job, getting two 30 foot pines with it. They ended up in my garden, rightly so, as they were my trees. But now I've got two 30 foot trees on my lawn.

Knowing that I had no more time to sort them that day, I decided to get Thursday and Friday off of work.

That's why I've not posted an update - I've been busy in the garden.

Wednesday is now but a distant memory.

Thursday I sepnt all day hacking trees in the garden, and disposing of them. I ate sparingly, and obviously didn't get around to any exercise as I was extremely wrecked.

Ditto for Friday.

Saturday was kind of back to normal, and I went to a free airshow. I had icecream... naughty.

And Sunday was similarly eventless.

I'll be dancing, exercising, and weighing in tonight, and will report in tomorrow.

The Dieting Man.

Special K Diet: Tuesday's Report

2011-07-27T11:20:00.001Z

Tuesday's are really busy days for me. Work, exercises, to the Mother-in-law's for tea, out to a meeting, and home. Usually home for half nine, ten pm. Very busy indeed.

Yesterday was no exception.

I ate my Special K and skimmed milk for breakfast. To be honest, I enjoy it. Some say it's bland, horrible, cardboard, etc. But to me, it's cereal, part of a healthy, balanced diet, and I'm fine with it.

I didn't really drink much water yesterday, but I ate my Alpen Light cereal bar with pleasure. Although I did bite on an ulcer in my mouth and pop it, but my brain's pleasure receptors were outdoing the pain receptors, so I didn't notice it.

Lunchtime was great. Special K with skimmed milk and two tangerines, and that was it. No more food until dinner.

For dinner, I had macaroni cheese and roast potatoes, followed by a chunk of home made cheese cake. Gorgeous!

I made myself a strawberry milkshake when I got in, and had with it a chocolate yogurt. I had already done twenty minutes on the bike, and I was exhausted and shattered, so didn't do my dances or weigh in. I'll be doing that Wednesday night.

If you're reading this and have any comments/suggestion, let me know!

The Dieting Man.

Special K Diet: Monday's Report

2011-07-26T07:53:00.001Z

Well, I'm gutted.

Monday started so well. New day, new week, determined start.

Special K with skimmed milk for breakfast. Check.
Alpen Light cereal bar for a mid morning snack. Check.
500ml of water during the morning. Check.
Special K with skimmed milk for lunch. Check.
A MILE long walk to post an ebay item at lunchtime. Check.
Pop in to ASDA for a Mars bar and big bag of M&Ms. Che-Wait, what? Oh damn.

When I got home from work, Mother Dear popped in to see me. She'd been to Scotland for the weekend. We chatted over coffee and a blueberry muffin. Groan.

Wife was exhausted when she got home from work, and neither of us felt like cooking. So we ordered in. Chicken Curry. Naan Bread. Onion bargees. Oh flipping heck.

I did go on the exercise bike for around twenty minutes, cycling just under 5 miles. I was tired and worn out, and didn't do any dancing.

Booted up the Wii, body test. BMI was 33.6. I'd gone up to 14 stone 1 pound. I sat on the sofa and held my head in my hands. Wife berated me, saying there's no point eating Special K, which isn't cheap, if I'm going to eat junk as well. She's right.

I went to bed with this weighing heavily on my mind.

Tuesday is going to be different. I'm really going to try hard. I WILL eat healthily. I WILL exercise. I WILL lose wieght.

I am The Dieting Man.

Special K Diet: Friday's Report

2011-07-25T09:41:00.001Z

Ah Friday, the most uplifting day of the week, particularly when it hits five pm...

Friday started the same way as Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday... a bowl of Special K drenched in skimmed milk, as I browsed the net and checked... stuff.

I was in a predicament. I had left my portable cereal and milk containers at work, and I didn't have any spares. I hadn't got rolls out of the freezer. I was out of options. With a sigh, I resigned myself to the notion of nipping to ASDA for either sarnies or pasta. But my dark side had other ideas...

I got to work, and cracked on. My mid-morning snack of an Alpen Light cereal bar was opened, inserted, and gone within 30 seconds of the clock hitting 9am. I love them chocolate and coconut snacks.

I was on my own, which isn't the norm, but halfway through the round my mind was made up: McDonalds. It had been a tough half-morning, I was torn between healthy and pigging out. Pigging out won.

I rolled into McDonalds at quarter to twelve and joined the healthy queue. What I mean by healthy queue was that there was a considerable number of people in the queue, not that the people were healthy... this was, after all, McDonalds. Anyway, I placed my order: Quarter pounder with cheese, large. When asked what drink I would like, I responded with, "Do you do iced mochas?" She smiled, leaned forward, and said, laughing, "What's one of them, I've never heard of it!" I was quite taken aback by this, and only managed, "It's... it's a cold coffee and choco-never mind, I'll have a coke."

I grabbed my goodies, and hoofed it back to base. I sat down, got comfortable, and ate. The burger and chips were finished with a Smarties McFlurry. This diet's going great... /sarcasm

I got home, and did my exercises. Twenty minutes on the bike, three sweat producing dances that exceeded my 1000 sweat-points-per-day target, and then Wii Fit for the body test. Astoundingly, my BMI had dropped a couple of hundredths of a point. Although my weight hadn't changed, it had. I was down a pound. Nice one! The Wii was more optimistic than I was. I was now weighing in at 13 stone 12 pounds, and my target is 12 stone. The deadline for the target is... Saturday. But the Wii tells me that I'm "approaching my goal at a good pace!"

However. There's always a however. Saturday incorporated a trip to the cinema, to see the atrocious Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon. That meant sweets. Not copious amounts, but, you know, a few. It also meant fish and chips... But I did spend the afternoon in the garden felling trees, so I worked up a bit of a sweat there. I was also gardening on Sunday.

Unfortunately, I didn't get on either the exercise bike or the Wii on Saturday or Sunday, so I'll have to wait til Monday night to see what my weight is.

I'm dreading it...

The Dieting Man.

Special K Diet: Thursday's Report

2011-07-22T14:13:00.001Z

Ah, Thursday. Nearly the best day of the week, as it means that Friday is looming. And we all know that Friday is the official start of the weekend. Well, that's what I say anyway...

Thursday started with me shattered. My pal, we'll call him Phil, because that's his name, had come over on Wednesday night to experience the Logitech Driving Force GT, along with Gran Turismo 5 and Need for Speed Shift Unleashed. To say he was impressed is the understatement of the year. Well, no, I suppose that accolade goes to "News of the World has had some bad press recently"... anyway, I digress. Point is, he was at mine til midnight. Not that I'm bothered, I enjoyed it enormously. But it did leave me tired.

So there I am, eyelids drooping, spoonfuls of Special K being chewed wearily as I check my email. All is well in the world of The Dieting Man. Nice.

I'm on a different round at work, and it's like a breath of fresh air. Of course, I still have my early mid morning Alpen Light cereal bar snack.

Now then, remember that I ran out of milk yesterday? Well, yeah. So that leaves me with white rolls, cheddar cheese and lettuce sarnies. I also had my two tangerines. One was dry - I couldn't get my head around that - the other was so bitter it made my eyes water.

I had loads to do when I got home, so I postponed exercising until later. Dinner was satisfying - chicken pie, potatoes and veg, followed by a nice Strawberry Cornetto.

I had MORE stuff to do, so it wasn't unti half ten that I powered up the PS3, dragged out the exercise bike, got Udinese into their kit and started my regime.

I was getting hammered 2 nil, but I managed to bring it back for a disappointing draw.

I cycled for just over 20 minutes, covering a distance of 5 and a bit miles. Now that's a result!

From there, it was on to Just Dance 2, where I bopped to Avril Lavigne's Girlfriend, a song by Daft Punk, and another one which my aging memory can't recall.

Wife took some photos and videos of me on the bike, and dancing... it was shocking. Seriously bad. I may upload some... maybe.

My BMI had dropped a few decimals, but according to the Wii, my weight hadn't changed, even though the graph had dropped. So hopefully tomorrow I'll drop a pound or two.

It got really, really late, and I didn't end up going to bed til half one. I'm writing this at 3.30 on Friday, and I'm exhausted... but I'll update you on Friday's progress soon.

The Dieting Man.

Special K Diet: Wednesday's Report

2011-07-21T11:03:00.001Z

Wednesday was cold, damp, and dark. It was more like November than July, and it felt it.

I started how I meant to go on: very well. Special K with skimmed milk for breakfast, browsing the net and checking my emails. Pure bliss.

Reality and work followed quickly, and my mid morning snack was well received. I was drinking water like I'd never see it again, I was mega thirsty.

Lunch was back to normal, Special K and skimmed milk. I didn't eat my two tangerines that I'd packed, rather, I spent my lunchtime polishing my boots. Sad, yes, but industrious too!

I had to go to ASDA after work, but I couldn't remember why... I strolled around, picked up some more shoe polish, and spied Frijj Chocolate Milkshake for 50p. BARGAIN! Then I bought a Mars bar, naughty naughty. Both were demolished on the drive home. But I made up for it with 20 minutes on the exercise bike, followed by three strenuous, sweat inducing, heart attack beckoning dances. One was the Monster Mash - what's that all about then? Weird.

I then flipped onto Wii Fit, and I was gutted. My balance was off - not by much, it was 49 ish and 51 ish. But my weight - I'd pu on another pound, so I'm now tipping the scales at bang on 14 stones. Mortified.

But hopefuly, this exercise regime will see results soon - I know I'm still snacking more than I should, but I've cut right down, and I'm eating small portions, well, for breakfast and lunch anyway.

Dinner was chicken curry followed by strawberry cornetto, and then I spent the rest of the night playing Need for Speed Shift Unleashed on the PS3.

Oh, and I remembered what I needed at ASDA: milk. I'll have enough for cereal in the morning, but it'll be sarnies for lunch.

Oh well.

I am The Dieting Man.

Oh, and no photos, my phone was on charge upstairs. Maybe tomorrow...

Special K Diet: Tuesday's Report

2011-07-20T08:35:00.001Z

Tuesday went well.

I felt better when I got up Tuesday morning - I say better, it's never a good thing when you've got to be out of bed by half six for work. But needs must, those bills won't pay themselves!

I munched my way through the Special K and skimmed milk as I surfed the net... browsing the latest on Reddit, checking my email, checking my book sales (yup, those are my books on the right there, have you bought one? What did you think?) Anyway, book sales are healthy, I've got some on the iBook store now, woohoo!

Where was I? Oh yes, munching through my Special K. Anyway, I finished them, got ready for work, and made sandwiches for lunch. Sandwiches? That's right. My work schedule had been reaaranged for Tuesday, and I knew I wasn't going to get back to base for lunch, so would have to eat on the road. Upside was that I'd be getting an early finish.

I start work, and I'm so busy I don't have time for my mid morning snack. Well, I do, but it's a lot later than usual. About 11, by which time my stomach is screeching like tortured metal against metal. I devour my Alpen Light bar - I can't remember if I actually took the time to chew it, or just swallowed it whole. Anyway. I park up for lunch at around one, and eat two white bread rolls with Cheddar cheese and lettuce. My mind is confused, wondering where the Special K is, but my stomach doesn't care, it just absorbs the food as if it hadn't tasted anything but Special K since 1996.

I finished work and headed home at half past two. I took the time to do a bit of quiet reading, and then got on with the task at hand: exercise.

I found some batteries for the exercise bike's computer, and booted up FIFA10. I was playing against Catalina in Manager Mode. I beat them 4 nil. Apparently it was a surprise win. I thought it was down to my skill. Anyway, turns out I was only pedalling for 15 minutes, so I'll have to extend the matchtime tomorrow - that'll give the opposing team a bit of a chance too.

Next was Just Dance 2. I moonwalked my way through I Want You Back by The Jackson 5, and the other songs were less memorable, although one was very tribal. I accrued 1212 Sweat Points, putting me ahead of schedule for my 7000 Sweat Points per week goal. It sounds so glam, doesn't it...

Onto Wii Fit, and my balance was off kilter, although my excuse is that I wasn't fully ready for it. My BMI had gone up, and I'd gained a pound. Damn. Back up to 13 stone and 13 pounds. But that exercise is gonna pay off soon, although it's early days.

Wife and I went to the Mother-in-law's for dinner, where we were served a beef casserole, yorkshire puddings, mashed potatoes and cabbage. Yum! Dessert was a Cadbury's Flake yogurt. All part of a balanced diet...

We didn't get home til around ten, and I wanted to sort a few bits and bobs that I'll be putting on eBay this week, so I didn't bother doing any more exercise. I'm quite happy with what I'm doing at the minute, but may increase my activity in a week or so if I deem it necessary.

I may post a current picture tomorrow, or maybe a pic of myself whilst on the exercise bike.

I am The Dieting Man.

Special K Diet: Monday's Report

2011-07-19T10:42:00.001Z

Get in! I feel like a new man! Today was fantastic - a few slip ups, I'll admit, but on the whole great.

Monday's are always busy days. I got up - reluctantly - at twenty five past six, after a blissful week of not having an early alarm call. I poured for myself a meager ration of Special K, and sorted out my bowl for lunch too. Whilst eating my breakfast, I checked my usual morning internet sites, to see if I had become an overnight sensation, an internet millionaire. I hadn't. Oh well. Got washed, got changed, headed out the door.

At half eight I had my usual Alpen Cereal bar, a delicious mix of chocolate, coconut and other things which combine to make a mouth wateing snack.

It was pretty warm - saying that, my job's pretty active, so regardless of the weather, I was warm. I drank my water like a sponge soaking up a spill.

Lunchtime rolled round quick. I poured the skimmed milk into my Special K, and let it soak for a few minutes, as I buried my nose into Jason Bourne's latest escapades in The Bourne Dominion.

After eating my gourmet styled luncheon, I moved onto dessert: two tangerines. Ah well, the life of a dieting man is not one of great luxury.

I refilled my bottle of water, anticipating a thirsty afternoon, but, surprisingly, it was not.

The afternoon was uneventful, and when I got home, I dragged the exercise bike from the kitchen to the living room. That was a workout in itself... I was so exhausted from the effort that I had to have a chocolate mousse... I fired up the PS3, loaded up FIFA10, and began cycling. The digital computer on my exercise bike wasn't working, as I had no batteries in it. What's with that, anyway? You never seem to have any batteries when you need them.... Anyway, I was on the bike for about 20 minutes, in which time I annihilated Sienna 6-0. I was Udinese. By the end, the sweat was running off of me in rivers. I was exhausted. But that didn't stop me from then firing up the Wii and going on Just Dance 2. I found Sweat Mode on there - pick any 3 songs, dance your socks off, and try to score more than 1000 Sweat Points.

I danced my heart out to Donna Summer's Hot Stuff. Don't know about hot stuff, but it was definitely hot in the living room! I then danced to a song by Vampire Weekend, and I can't remember what the last song was, but my total Sweat Points were 1200. Rock on!

Feeling good about myself, I went onto Wii Fit. After raking around for some batteries for the balance board, I proceeded to do the body test, which it asked me to do with my eyes closed. Surprisingly, I had perfect balance. Even more surprisingly, I had lost a pound. So now I'm down to 13st 12lbs, and a heart attack inducing 33.20 BMI. Nice.

I then had to have a cold shower to get rid of the casing of sweat that had built up over my obese body. By the time that was washed off, I was able to enjoy Wife's dinner: Pasta and garlic bread. That was washed down with some nice Bulmer's Pear Cider. For dessert, I had a Guu pudding, and then a couple of Werther's Chocolates.

All in all, it was a good day, but I slipped up towards the end.

I was well chuffed that I'd lost a pound, especially after my week holiday. I'm going to do the same again on Tuesday, so I'll let you know what happens soon...

I am The Dieting Man.

Oh Yeah, About Last Week...

2011-07-18T08:32:00.001Z

Last week I was on holiday. Remember, anniversary? Okay, so Wife and I had a week off, exploring the glorious sights, sounds and smells of the English countryside. We're talking Severn Valley Steam Train, West Midland's Safari Park, Chatsworth House, Heights of Abraham, and more. And food. Copious amounts of food. I mean, come on, I was on holiday. Diet was out the window.

Pizza Hut. Restaurants. Cafes. Sandwich shops. Ice cream. Groan.

I haven't weighed myself yet. To be quite honest, I'm dreading seeing those numbers creep up and up and up.

So today I have prepared my usual lunch. When I finish work, I'm going on the exercise bike, Just Dance AND Wii Fit.

I'll update tomorrow with how I got on today, including current weight, BMI, and eating.

See you then!

The Dieting Man

Special K Diet: Friday's Report

2011-07-09T22:14:00.001Z

Do you remember that I said it was our Wedding Anniversary coming up? Well it's tomorrow, Sunday. And we've gone away for the weekend-in fact, I'm writing this from my hotel room.

What's that got to do with Friday's report? Well, I woke up in ready-for-holiday mode. I still had my Special K and semi skimmed milk for breakfast, but when it came to prepping my lunch (aka putting Special K in a tupperware container) I thought, "Stuff it. Holiday time."

I had my Alpen Cereal bar at the usual time.

I finished my morning work at the usual time.

And then I visited one of my old haunts.

McDonalds.

Ah, the smell. The ambience. The - well, hold on. It smells like McDonalds, and it was in Sunderland, so there wasn't much ambience.

But before I knew it, I was ordering a large quarter pounder with cheese meal, complete with coke and a Drifter's McFlurry.

And it tasted glorious. There was no guilt, just satisfaction. Of course, I then had two mega healthy tangerines, so that helps, right? Right?

The afternoon was uneventful enough. Now, usually, on a Friday afternoon, Wife does shopping. I get in at around 4, she gets in with shopping at around half past. The gives me half an hour to chill. But oh no. Not today. You see, when I got home, she hadn't DONE the shopping. So I had to then go with her.

I was flagging at this point, so I grabbed a Rocky to keep me going. What? I'd finished all the tangerines!

Dinner was half a fresh pizza, a slice of garlic bread, a glass of water and a bowl of chocolate ice cream.

I think I'm doing this all wrong...

Then parentals came around to drop off anniversary presents and wish us well.

We had a couple of glasses of red wine... and then, because it was so late, and we hadn't even packed yet, we hit the sack. It was half eleven.

I KNOW that I'm not gonna stick to the diet during this holiday... but I'll keep you posted.

I'm still trying to be The Dieting Man.

Special K Diet: Thursday's Report

2011-07-08T07:33:00.001Z

Ah, Thursday. The penultimate day of the working week, the beginning of the end for the 9 til 5ers.

All in all, it was a good day. It wasn't a great day, but it wasn't a bad day either.

It started out bright and fresh, along with my bowl of Special K with skimmed milk.

As is my usual habit, I had an Alpen Light cereal bar around half eight, and by lunchtime I had consumed half a litre of water.

For lunch, again it was Special K and semi skimmed milk, along with two tangerines. I resisted the urge to wander down to ASDA, where I would deplete my bank accout but increase my waistline. Instead, I grabbed a chair, went outside, and snoozed in the Sun.

When I went back on the road, the heavens opened. The rain was torrential, it was dark, and I could feel a storm brewing...

Hometime rolled round earlier than usual, so I was in the house for quarter to four. My growling stomach guided me straight to the fridge, where I grabbed a choccy yogurt... naughty but nice.

I then chilled on the PS3 for a bit, goofing around on Just Cause 2, an awesome game.

Dinner was served - lamb chops, new potatoes, and brussel sprouts. Yum. The portion was small and healthy, and I loved it. A glass of water to wash it down, and a Cornetto to finish. Sorted.

Now then. Remember I said yesterday that our anniversary is rapidly approaching? Well, family members wanted to shower us with gifts - and I certainly wasn't going to decline - so at half nine we headed out. A bit of food was served, to which I was party to - twi slices of pizza, and then home made Rocky Road Cheesecake dessert... oh dear.

We didn't get back into the house until quarter to 12, by which time it was too late to do any exercising. I know, I know, I should've done exercise instead of playing JC2... Nevermind, eh...

I'll let you know how today (Friday) goes tomorrow.

I'm still The Dieting Man. I'm just not very good at it...

Special K Diet: Wednesday's Report

2011-07-07T08:47:00.001Z

Alrighty There.

Ah. It's not good news, I'm afraid. Well, saying that, it's not TERRIBLE, but it could have been better. Much better.

I started by getting up five minutes earlier, at 6.25. Feels good, that. An extra five minutes. Nice.

Whilst the laptop was booting up, I drenched a miserably small portion of Special K in skimmed milk.

It takes me around 9.3 seconds to slowly get through my breakfast allowance. I spend a bit of time faffing around on the net, and checking my emails, seeing if I've hit the big time yet. Nope. Ah well, washed, put some clothes on and off to work.

So around half 8 the hunger pangs are clawing at my stomach like ... like... like a ravenous fox clawing at a rabbit hole, knowing that there is a plump, sumptious bunny waiting to be devoured. Dammit, now I'm salivating. Anyway, so I rip the wrapper off of my Alpen Light cereal bar, and demolish it. Nice.

I get back to base at 12 on the dot, and by then I'm going wild with hunger again. I cram the Special K into the cavity that a biology teacher would call a mouth, and then start strumming my fingers on the desk. I get up, and take a stroll (note: exercise) to ASDA, as I need to pick up some items:

A hose spray attachment, for my new toy, the garden hose. I know. I'm so sad.

Wrapping paper (it's our wedding anniversary, and I need to wrap the awesome pressies I've got for Wife)

Some ASDA equivalent of peanut M&Ms..... mmmmm... soooo nice

A bottle of chocolate milk

The M&M wannabies were gone by three o clock, and the chocolate milk was finished before I'd cleared the ASDA car park...

I got home, and I honestly can't remember if I had anything to eat... which probably means I did...

I remember having a Cadbry's Fudge before dinner.... which, incidentally, was Chicken Curry. Mmmm, nice.

I then was so busy spray painting my bike (which looks fab, by the way) that I then didn't have anything until bedtime, when I had a hot chocolate.

So. No fruit. No exercise. Too much chocolate.

Today (Thursday) had better be better... Oh, and I've hit 30. Marvellous.

Special K Diet: Tuesday's Report

2011-07-06T07:42:00.001Z

Tuesday went a lot better than Monday.

The day went exactly the same as Monday, from breakfast, lunch, water and fruit... but again my downfall came when I got home from work.

I helped myself to an Ainsley Harriott chocolate bar... and then a smooth, delicious chocolate mousse yogurt. Damn!

My evening meal was wholesome enough - steak lattice with mashed potatoes and some other veg that I can't remember, washed down with a glass of cool water, and followed by.... A Cadbury's Buttons dessert... Oh dear.

Later on that night I had ANOTHER delicious smooth chocolate yogurt. Can you see a patern here?

I didn't end up going on the Wii last night because it got too late.

Hopefully today will be better all round.

Hopefully.

Special K Diet: A Progress Report

2011-07-05T12:39:00.001Z

So yesterday, Monday 4th July, I decided to re-engage with the Special K diet. Here's how it works: Special K for breakfast and lunch, normal evening meal.

Didn't quite go according to plan... the day started well, took a nose dive, but ended on a positive note... let me explain:

I had my breakfast at half six. A small portion of Special K, served up with skimmed milk.

My mid-morning break saw me nibbling on an Alpen Light cereal bar, in an attempt to stave off the hunger pangs.

Lunch, served up at around half eleven, was a repeat of breakfast, but with the addition of two tangerines. So far, so good.

I'd also managed to drink about a litre of water up to to this point, which was good news for my health, but strenuous on my bladder...

I got home from work at about half four - late, I know - and raid the cupboard. Bad mistake. A huge jar of Nutella eyes me woefully, pleading to be consumed. I consider the offer, and decide to help. I grab a spoon, and wham. Before I know what's happened, two scoopfuls of the delicious, nutty, smoothy, silky goodness has slitered down my throat. Oops.

I had no more snacks. But my evening meal consisted of half a pizza, a jacket potato, glass of water, and a chocolate cornetto. Actually, it wasn't a Cornetto, it was ASDA's version of a cornetto, but it's the same thing, isn't it... Oh, and then I had a can of Bud.

But I redeemed myself... I turned on the Wii, went on Just Dance 2, danced until the sweat was dripping off of my nose, and then went on Wii Fit. Current weight: 13 stones and 13 pounds. Damn.

Let's hope I do better on Tuesday...

A Brief Update

2011-05-06T11:17:00.001Z

I went on the Wii on Wednesday night - specifically, on Wii Fit. Didn't do any exercises, just a quick body test, as I wanted to see where I was in the grand scheme of things. Mind you, this was after I'd mown the lawn and checked that my bike hadn't rusted up. (It hadn't.)

So I weighed in at 13 stone and 13 pounds. I want to get down to 12 stone, so I've got my work cut out for me.

I'll keep you posted...

The Dieting Man.

Here We Go Again!

2011-04-28T09:40:00.000Z

Alrighty There People!

Well, as you can see, it's been over a year since my last post, and much has happened since then.

I recently weighed myself, and I was just shy of 15 stone. I decided to implement the Special K diet - you know, bowl of cereal for breakfast and lunch, then a normal evening meal. I got myself down to 13 stone 10.

Since then, I've slackened off a bit. So I'm going to be strict with
myself again, exercise frequentlh, and hopefully get down to 12 stone soon enough.

I'll be posting my weight regularly, as well as keeping you up todate on my eating habits and exercise regimes.

Oh, and I'll be primarily updating this blog from my N900, so please exuse the spelling and grammar that my fat fingers produce!

The Dieting Man

A PlayStation 3, an Exercise Bike, and FIFA…

2010-03-03T11:25:00.000Z

Good morning.

I doubt I have any regular readers of this blog, sporadic as it is.

Perhaps I am posting this here as a reminder to myself, to get my act together, to lose weight.

I have a new regime.

Every night, at about 10pm, I turn on the PlayStation. I put in the disc for FIFA 08, and load up my manager career.

I’m doing quite well. I’m in the second year of managing Sunderland AFC. I came first in the Premiership last year, and I’m currently top of the league with 24 points.

Last night I beat Bolton Wanderers 6-0.

Oh, and during the match, I cycled. I cycled hard.

In the 17 and a half minutes from starting the match, to the end of the match when my midfielder, Carlos Edwards, was announced man of the match, I had cycled four and a half miles.

After this, groggy, sweaty, and slightly unbalanced, I climbed off of my exercise bike, pushed it out of the way, turned off the PS3, and dragged my Wii Fit Balance Board out from under the TV.

Grabbing a Wii Remote, I turned on the system, and loaded up Wii Fit. It’s about the only game I play on the Wii nowadays. No, wait, it IS the only game I play on the Wii. The last time I played Mario Galaxy was about a month after it was released.

Anyway, so I go onto Wii Fit, and the slightly-creepy-yet-also-adorable-but-I’ll-kill-it-if-I-get-the-chance Wii Balance Board floppy character greets me.

No, I don’t want to hear a fitness tip, I want to do my daily test and see if I’ve gained or lost weight. That’s all that matters, isn’t it?

So I have to wait whilst the board warms up. No, I can’t get on yet. Yes, I can get on now. What am I wearing – nothing. Oooh, great, creepy voices telling me that it is measuring me. Yay.

Then the moment of truth. Will I have lost weight? My previous BMI, taken just last week, was 34.14. Yesterday, my BMI was 34.18. I had marginally put on weight – a miniscule amount. I still need to lose weight. What do I weigh at the moment? I can’t even remember. I think it’s the top end of 13 stone. I know I want to be down to 12 stone. I need to try harder. I must put more effort into this.

But this is my regime. Twenty minutes on the exercise bike. Pummel my opponents on FIFA 08. Jump on the Wii Fit board, maybe do a few exercises. Try and be a bit more careful in what I eat. Try and lose weight.

Sigh.

I am the Dieting Man.

The Dieting Man: Progress Update

2009-10-28T09:12:00.001Z

Alrighty There People!

Okay, well, I've got good news, and I've got bad news...

After that shocking start that I admitted to yesterday, I was determined to do better. It wasn't easy, and I'm not saying that yesterday as a 'good' day, but it was better than it has been in more recent time... I went on Wii Fit, and I did 3 workouts which gave me a combo of 17 minutes! Like I said, not fantastic, but seeing as it was the first time I had been on Wii Fit in over three months, I was quite pleased. More on that training in a moment...

On to yesterday's food consumption... well, it wasn't great, to be frank:

It started with my breakfast:
1 glass of water

Upon starting work, I had my usual:
1 Alpen Cereal bar (Fruit, nut and Choc)
1 glass of water

By mid morning I was feeling peckish... instead of eating my orange, I chose:
1 Cadbury's Boost

For lunch:
3 finger rolls stuffed with liver pate and lettuce
1 glass of water
1 mini snickers

Mid afternoon, munchies set in again:
1 Cadbury’s Crunchie
1 glass of water

Finished work, straight to the kitchen for...
1 mini milky way

That didn't interfere with my dinner, which was...
Potato and Leek grattan
Tinned corn
Bacon
1 glass of water
1 Cadbury's buttons yogurt

By half nine, I was peckish again...
2 Choc chip cookies
1 tub profiteroles
1 hot chocolate
2 crackers with cranberry cheese

So, all in all, I pretty much made a pig of myself :(

So my fruit/veg intake
3/5 (lettuce in sarnies, leek in grattan, tinned corn)

Okay, on to my exercise...

I didn't want to do anything too strenuous - I decided not to do the Rhythm Boxing or Advanced Jogging. So I started with Step Plus - it's rhythmic but not too hard. Results:

Perfect Steps: 226
OK steps: 103
Missed steps: 7
Points: 555
Status: "Roaring Fire"
Rank: Unranked
Duration: 5 minutes

I then went on to the Advanced Hula Hoops - I'm no good at Hula Hoops in the real world, but on the Wii, I'm a star...
Left: 922
Right: 949
Points: 1871
Status: "Rocket Fire"
Rank: 1st
Duration: 7 minutes

Then I decided to go back to Step Plus - I used to be really good at this, and I'm number one on the scoreboard. I was a bit peeved that I was unranked earlier, so I wanted to at least get on the scoreboard:

Perfect Steps: 253
OK steps: 82
Missed steps: 1
Points: 588
Status: "Roaring Fire"
Rank: Unranked
Duration: 5 minutes

So, it was better, but I was still unranked. Meh, it'll take a bit of time to get back into the swing of it.

Then it was time for the dreaded Body Test.

Results were:

Current Weight: 13.10 stone (183.4lbs)
Change since last session: -3lbs
BMI: 32.67 (Extremely Obese)

So although the Wii claims I lost three pounds - which is my weekly weight loss target - I'm going to give it a few days, because I think that I can expect a 2 to 3lb fluctuation on a daily basis.

But I'm really pleased that I got started with the exercise, that's the kick up the backside that I needed.

Thoughts, comments, help, suggestions, criticisms all wanted - as well as support and motivation! Spread the word - I am The Dieting Man!

Swine Flu Merchandise!

2009-10-27T11:28:00.001Z

I know that this is totally unrelated to my diet, or losing weight, but I thought that these Swine Flu T Shirts were absolutely fantastic, and most definitely worth a post! Check them out:

http://swineflu.spreadshirt.co.uk

The Dieting Man: Here’s How It Is

2009-10-27T09:16:00.000Z

Okay, so last week was a bit manic, and things didn't go according to plan. The whole world was against me starting my new regime of dieting and exercise - including electronics failing on me, friends inviting me out, and, most of all, my own lack of self discipline.

The weekend was fuelled with going out with friends and gorging on lasagne, pizza, chocolate, wine, fizzy drinks, nuts, cakes - oh my word it was a gluttonous fest. I loved it. No, wait, I didn't. Aaaargh I'm so confused.

Anyway, I decided that Monday I would start afresh. Cut down on my intake, increase my exercise from nil to something, and monitor the progress. I’m sick of seeing all these “I Got Ripped in 4 Weeks” ads – they all look really, really fake – are they even the same people? – but I want to slim myself down.

Well, I started monitoring anyway... This is what I took in, foodwise:

Breakfast:
1 glass of water

Mid morning:
1 glass of water
Alpen cereal bar (Fruit, nut, chocolate)

Lunch:
3 finger rolls with liver pate and lettuce

Afternoon:
Cadbury's Boost
Handful of grapes
Apple

Early Evening:
1 Chocolate yogurt

Dinner:
2 slices of Margherita pizza
1 jacket potato with cheese
1 glass of water
Little tub of (3) Profiteroles

Later On...
50g plain chocolate
500g Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie

So, there was some good in there, and some very, very bad. A full tub of Ben and Jerry's? Naughty. What's worse, though, is that I know that there is another one in the freezer. That's what happens when ASDA does a "2 for £3" deal. Damn them.

I tried to increase my portions of fruit intake, again from nil - I managed two of my five a day. That's okay, I guess.

Exercise? Yeah, that didn't happen. But I've got a (fairly) legitimate excuse - I've got this awful pain in my side - feels like I've been broadsided by a truck. In actual fact, I think that I've been 'kneed' in my side by my wife when asleep, but, naturally, she's denying all knowledge of it.

Anyway, I did put on the Wii, just to get an overview of where I am and what I need to do. Here's the results:

Days since last on Wii Fit: 107 (oops!)
Current Weight: 13.13 stone (approx 183lbs)
Change since last session: +7lbs
BMI: 33.23 (Extremely Obese)

I've set a goal of losing 3lbs every week for the next 6 months - I want to lose a stone and a half (around 24lbs).

Okay, so again, a quick overview - I'm going to try to keep to this format of overview regularly:
Exercise:
Type / Length of time:
NA / 00:00

Fruit intake:
2 / 5

It looks like I've got a lot of work to do, and a lot of self-discipline will be needed. I'm going to need to seriously cut down on junk food intake, increase fruit and veg intake, and do exercise. The plan is to do twenty minutes on the exercise bike daily, and then half an hour of activities on Wii Fit.

That was Monday. This is Tuesday. I am the Dieting Man. I WILL SUCCEED!

Your support would be very much appreciated.

I Need to Lose Weight. Now.

2009-10-21T10:35:00.001Z

It's been a while since I updated this blog. Main reason being, I've not been losing, nor trying to lose, weight.

But last night, something happened. I noticed. I noticed that, although I had been losing weight in recent months, I am now gaining weight. Rapidly, I fear. I feel fat. I look fat. I am fat.

This hit me like a tonne of bricks. I decided, there and then, that I need to cut down on my food intake, and increase my (virtually nil) exercise regime.

Here's the plan:
Restart my daily monitoring of food intake
Cut out coffee, in which I have two sugars
Only drink water every day
Cut down on chocolate and sweets
Go on Wii Fit every day for half an hour
Do some other form of exercise daily - possibly cycling - for another half hour
Keep records of all of the above
Take a weekly photo to see how I'm doing
Blog daily with progress reports

That is all. Support is more than welcome!

NB - I did try to go on the Wii last night, but batteries - for both the Wii mat and the Wii-mote - were dead. The batteries are on charge, I'll be on it tonight...

The Dieting Man

An Opportunity...

2009-05-30T07:43:00.002Z

Okay, I've got a proposition for you.

I'm going on holiday in July, to the (hopefully) sunny country of Italy. I'm staying in Pisa for a week - so will be visiting that most famous monument, the leaning tower.

I'll also be visiting Florence, Rome and possibly Verona.

I've managed to get a fairly good deal on flights - £330 return for the two of us. The hotel we managed to get cheaper by shopping around online, but it's still a bit pricey. I haven't yet sorted car hire, but I'm reckoning that's going to cost a couple of hundred. All in all, with flights, hotel, car hire, food and miscellaneous expenses - not to mention clothes that will need to be purchased before
departure - it's going to be quite expensive to fund this holiday in these credit crunching, recessive times.

But that's where my cunning plan, involving YOU, comes into play.

You see, I'm looking for sponsorship.

Let me spell it out to you:

You sponsor me to wear a piece of clothing with your brand name, logo, slogan, web address, whatever, on it, and I will do so, for £75.00 a day.

I'm going to have to limit this to hats and shorts though, as I can't guarantee I will keep a T shirt on in the sweltering heat of summertime Italy.

Here's the terms and conditions:

I WILL NOT promote:
Gambling companies
Sex industry companies
Tobacco companies

I am not willing to have any tattoos: permanent or temporary.

I will not wear any clothing with profanity, lewd themes or suggestive images/logos/slogans.

I may turn down your offer (with plenty of advance notice) due to personal preferences.

YOU must provide the item of clothing with all of your company details on it - I will not print anything onto it.

You must provide payment before departure.

Departure is late July – we will be leaving on a Sunday and returning on a Sunday.

I will wear your item(s) of clothing for one day of the holiday (or more if you pay me such - but you must provide extra clothing, I don't want to be smelly!)

As we do not yet have an itinerary planned, I cannot tell you yet on what days I am going to what attractions/cities etc. That will depend on the weather out there and what we feel like doing.

I will provide multiple photographic evidence of wearing your branded clothes - however, depending on internet availability may not be able to upload these on a daily basis.

Remember, I will be seen in densely populated areas - such as Newcastle airport, Pisa airport, the Leaning Tower of Pisa, and quite possibly - but I can't guarantee it - Rome and Verona.

If you are seriously interested in this unique, fun and inspirational piece of marketing for your business, leave a comment.

Any questions?

The Dieting Man.

PS - I've lost quite a bit of weight lately - that's down to eating less, doing more activity and going on Wii Fit. It really does work!

Why Cloning's Not Such a Good Idea...

2008-11-25T07:42:00.000Z

So a colleague and I were talking today about cloning. We were saying how wonderful it would be if we could get cloned, and send our clone to work. But then it hit me, like the Titanic hitting that iceberg - it would be counter productive. It would actually cost us MORE.

Here's why:

A clone is another mouth to feed. Unless we're talking robots, which don't need feeding, but we're not, we're talking living, breating, real life clones. So when we send them to work, we need to provide them with food, which costs money. And what are we doing whilst our clones are working? Stuff. Shopping, driving, site-seeing, spending. Spending money that we wouldn't be spending whilst we are at work. So clones are a bad idea. Apart from for alibis. Then they're a good idea...

Ten Gifts for Under a Tenner...

2008-11-22T11:27:00.003Z

Are you looking for a little extra present for someone? Something not too dear, perhaps maybe a bit quirky, a bit retro? Something fun, whatever the age or gender?

Well here's a list of ten items that you can get, all under one roof, for under a tenner...

1 Top Gear Top Trumps
For those who love the series, there's got to be nothing better than a game of Top Trumps using official Top Gear merchandise. Absolutely fantastic!

2 Sonic Grenade
I've never had one of these, and if you get one for someone, you're going to make some enemies... Pull the pin on this grenade, and subject someone to a deafening explosion of noise. The worst part? It won't turn on until you put the pin back in. My ear drums are aching already...

3 20Q
I've got one of these, and they are absolutely fantastic. First you'll be amazed, then you'll be intrigued... then you'll get frustrated at how accurate it can be. True, it doesn't ALWAYS get it right... but when it does, you'll be scratching your head in a show of genuine confusement...

4 Pocket Mini Helicopter (Blue)
I've always wanted one of these - a fantastic, tiny little remote controlled helicopter. So make someone's day (pick me, pick me!), and chuck one of these in your basket.

5 Rubik's Cube
The Rubik's cube is an amazing gift which will have people in quiet concentration for hours - I should know, I've got one on my desk. Thing is, it even comes with instructions that tell you the technique to solve it - but it doesn't help. Well, not me anyway...

6 Aurora Colour Changing Clock
A funky little number, this one - it has twelve colours - one for each hour (on a am/pm cycle). It looks great, and would be a great gift for him or her...

7 Retro Hopper
Have you been on one of these? Recently? I have. How much fun!!! And careful - they do bounce quite well! Certainly, getting someone one of these will bring back many memories - and if you are getting it for a youngster, it will create many memories for them. Classic!

8 Keyfinder Keyring
One of the most useful devices ever created. You know the feeling, you're running late, you're dashing out the door - but then you can't find your car keys. Don't bother hunting all over for them - simply whistle, and the keyring will start bleeping. SORTED!

9 Catapult - The Super Sling Shot Catapult
Everyone loves catapults. 'Nuff said.

10 Retro Magic Spring
I had one of the rainbow plastic ones as a kid - but this is so much better. Give this to someone, and they'll be on the stairs for an hour!

BONUS: The Laughter File
The Laughter File is a fantastic joke book with over 200 jokes in 9 different categories. I've got a copy, so have loads of people I know. Get one, it's great.