The DiGiTaL OvErDoSe

Communication or Isolation?

2011-10-12T20:52:00.000-07:00

I often wonder what many of the innovators of communication technology were thinking as they laid the groundwork for the World Wide Web or tackled the complexities of wireless communication. Today it seems that entire existences are built around the Internet. The way we communicate with each other has seemingly resorted to how we communicate at each other
I remember hearing of the World Wide Web back in the early 1990's. It seems as if it has been around for ever, but no. In 1999 I moved into an apartment on Dixwell Avenue in New Haven. I had been living with a friend of mine for several months and was overjoyed to have my own place again. At the top of my wish list was an exercise bike and a computer. I never owned owned a a computer, but I had taken a class in high school. I used computers in school and at the library, so I was familiar with the importance of computing. I was also painfully aware of the debate raging between the "haves" and the " have nots" that most poor people could not afford the Internet and/or a home computer. By not having the find of access to the information and opportunities that the World Wide Web presented only broadened the economic divide.
People like Bill Gates and Steve Jobs worked diligently to change this. At the time, the cost of a personal computer was about $1,000 and Internet access was a dial up modem which was about $50 a month. This was out of reach for me and most everyone else I knew, so as soon as I could, I rented one, Ah, the golden age of Colortyme! The ability to buy what ever your heart desired from appliances to furniture to electronics for a "low monthly payment." I knew it was paying almost double, but to me me it was worth it to me to have access to the world. My first computer was a Compaq Presario with all the bells and whistles; Microsoft platform, AOL web and email. I loved it! I remember the day the Colortyme man came to and set up my computer like it was yesterday. I used it mainly for exploring the Internet and word processing. It would be a couple of years before I set up an email account. My dive into the seas of online communication was done one foot at a time.
I remember when cellphones first came out. They were big and bulky and were carried in a case. No one I knew had one because they were so expensive. Cellphones, like personal computers and cocaine were only afforded by the rather well to do. Pagers came shortly thereafter. I had only seen those on television in doctor shows. I remember getting my first pager. I still have it. I never know when I might need it. It seems like so long ago. I would pay my bill at my favorite pawn shop and I felt like I was really connected! It would be at least a couple of years before I go my first cellphone. By now they were portable, no case, no wires and they fit in the pocketbook. the deposit was outrageous. Most companies wanted $100 to $300 up front and a mandatory 2 year contract. I thought this was ridiculous and opted to stay with my pager. I was approached constantly by well meaning sales people. I was not that interested. Until one day I was entering Sam's Club and a man approached me and assured me that he
could get me a cell phone for a $50 deposit. I was skeptical. I told him "If you can do it, I'll sign up." I left him with my license to run my credit and I went shopping. By the time I was done, the salesman had secured me a cell phone. It has been several years since that fateful day and I am now considered a valued customer of T-Mobile with unlimited minutes.
Now, everyone has a cellphone. I got my 11 year old son his first cellphone when he was 8. Needless to say, that was a bad idea because he wasn't responsible enough to take care of it. While he is able to manage a Smart phone like a pro, he still leaves his phone in his pants. Today I consider myself a veteran of the "computer age" and I maneuver the Internet with ease. I multimanage several on line email, website and social networking accounts; Reverb Nation, Facebook, Yahoo, my website; www.d-o-music.com, my blog; www.thedigitaloverdose.blogspot.com, my video station DivaShadow on Youtube and a host of sites that I visit regularly. I also search for and research the latest and greatest tricks and tools to promote Indie music, videos and artists.
In spite of all this outreach, I don't feel more connected to other people. While the Internet is vast and never tires of activity, it lacks the immediate, personal touch of another human being. Even with the addition of Skype and Cisco. I do not wait with baited breath for emails, texts or tweets. Nor have I set up a Twitter account. I actually struggle to keep up with all the Spam and often unrelated conversations that take place on Facebook continuously. I check my email for specific things. I post to Facebook for specific reasons; to promote a show, sell something or to find someone. I don't play with Farm Animals or answer questions about other friends. Occasionally I send hugs, but I generally don't engage in discussions on line. I prefer to talk to people in person or on the phone, I prefer the intimacy of a human voice, the look on someone's face or the sound of their laughter. I think that communication technology is extremely beneficial in how we function, communicate, do business and learn. It can enrich us or deplete us; free us or enslave us. Communication technology is meant to enhance our ability to communicate, not to replace the ways we communicate. It is a choice, not a requirement of communication. When we lose sight of what communication technology is, we can easily lose touch with what we are.

Lets Never Forget!

2011-09-13T19:28:00.001-07:00

How to Stay Positive Around Negative People or How to Stay Focused in Pursuing Your Dreams When Other Friends Try To Stiffle Your Success.

2011-06-17T05:53:00.000-07:00

Life is a trip. Literally life is a journey and full of people, places and things that often mold us into seemingly invincible beings or grind us into pieces and leave us as road kill on the highway of humanity. More often then not we end up somewhere in between: existing from day to day hoping that ship will come in but not really sure if we want to take the ride. So we go through each day doing the daily grind and settling for a quiet, meagar existence. If you fall in the middle of the human race, this article is probably not for you.
For those who take each breath like it was their last and lives to love and love to live. For those who don't wait for opportunity to knock, but choose to kick the door in and grab opportunity by the neck and squeeze it bone dry. You may feel alone or certainly lonely. They say "its lonely at the top". This has never been a truer statement. Humans are innately driven and everyone wants something different. Individuals are unique. Each level of desire is valid in relation to the individual who seeks them. Sometimes we find ourselves having one level of desire, while those around us have a different level of desire. These differences can manifest themselves in a variety of ways; sometimes obviously and sometimes more subtle.
You reach a point in your life where you are striving to reach a particular goal or existence and you notice that your circle of support starts to wain. Friends say "Why do you want to do that?" "You shouldn't do that." "You can't do that." "So you think you are better than me." "Thats not practical." Why can't you be more like...?" People are instinctively jealous. We are designed with a wide range of emotions; love, generosity, optimism, anger, fear and jealous to name a few. We can't help it. We are born this way. Sometimes when others appear to have what we want or more than what we have we can become jealous, envious, feeling like why should they have something that we wanted so badly, but did none of the work to get it or from our view, it was just handed to them. While we work our butts off and still can't get what we want. We often justify our feelings so we can act out. There are also those of us who realize that it rains on everyone and its not what happens to us, but how we deal with it.
Everyone has the ability to be the best they can be. The trick is to make the most of the life you have or to make excuses about why your life is not all you want it to be. It is important to associate ourselves with like minded individuals and for you to be the light you want to see in others and eventually the whole world will be a little brighter. Love, Peace and Happiness, Shadow

The Digital OverDose

2011-04-07T19:56:00.000-07:00

The Digital OverDose

Open publication - Free publishing - More music

2011-04-03T19:41:00.001-07:00

Shadow Raw: What If...

2011-03-09T22:01:00.000-08:00

The First Storm of 2011

2011-03-03T09:24:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!!!

2011-01-27T21:00:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!!! It has been three months since my last blog and during that time I was able to reflect on what I wanted to do and what I really wanted to say. It seems that everybody has a blog and everyone has something to say. Like most other artists, I not only share my art but hope that people respond to it. I hoped that my blog would be interesting and thought provoking.
With the increased popularity of the "Celebrity" (one who is famous for being popular) and the "Internet Sensation" (someone who can document the most hits on a You tube clip; whether real or fabricated) and the "Professional Candidate" (one who runs for public office to raise money and get gifts for their own personal use) I and others like me find it hard to be heard above the mindless chatter. I do not despair because cream always rises to the top.
I take my gifts very seriously and believe that I must share these gifts with others even if I don't understand why. Everyone has gifts and I believe that if we all share our gifts with each other then we are all blessed. As I reflected on how I could do this blog justice, I concluded that I needed to first convey my passion genuinely and not for the sake of vanity. I want to give the very best that I have to offer, so I I took some time to reflect and to decide if I could fulfill my goal responsibly.I feel I am up to the task and I hope you are too. I hope you enjoy my latest creation, The Digital Overdose, a monthly magazine that focuses on the Independent Musician with articles, stories, poetry, commentary, reviews, pics, artist profiles and more. The Do Mag is being launched on Issue.com, the future in publishing. Enjoy and hit me back with your thoughts, ideas and contributions. Love, Peace and Happiness, Shadow.

The Digital OverDose Magazine is launched on Issue.com!

2011-01-27T20:48:00.001-08:00

Open publication - Free publishing - More rock music

We don't plan to fail, we fail to plan.

2010-08-22T10:24:00.000-07:00

It seems like it has been a while since I blogged and this is a result of poor planning. I failed to schedule time to attend to this weekly and as a result, I lost my focus. This often easily happens with many of us in life. Sometimes on a bigger scale and other times on a smaller scale. Planning requires work and focus and sometimes its easier to just "wing it" and hope for the best.
One of the things that I learned in my 30's after many years of observations, experiences and contemplation was that most people are clueless.I realize this sounds harsh, but hear me out. Most people that I have met don't know who they are, what they are doing, where they are going or how they are going to get there. I don't mean demographics, but being able to tell someone who you are; what you stand for; what you believe in, who are you on the inside? Many people exist day to day with no concrete plans for the future. They convey abstract dreams with no real focus. " I want to be rich." "I want to have a good job." "I want to live comfortably." Yet there is no development of short or long term goals to reach these dreams.
Where do you see yourself in a year? What do you need to do on a daily, weekly or monthly basis to get there? Do you schedule your time or just get through the day? Most of the people that I have met have hope, but no plan. Are you a hopeless optimist or a pessimist? Do you expect success or failure? Are you afraid to try or see every opportunity as a chance to grow and learn? Do you see yourself in charge of your life or are you subject to the winds of fate? Many people that I have met say they don't plan because the plans never work out. What makes successful people different than unsuccessful people?
I believe that it is a combination of things. First, they only thing we have real control over is our attitudes. Its not what happens to you, but how you deal with it, which is why ordinary people are able to do extraordinary things. All of my life I have felt deeply. I feel the joy and pain of others intensely. As a result, I question why things happen in life to some and not to others; death, natural disasters, wars, illness, etc. I thank God for being born free and in America, but I also feel for those who suffer in other countries and in less fortunate circumstances right here in Connecticut. I wanted answers. In my late 20's a man shared these three things with me to understand any situation I encountered in life.
1. Anything is possible.
2. Everything happens for a reason and out of everything comes good.
3. Everyone is subject to change.
These three statements can be applied to any situation in life. It may not make us feel good about everything, but it can help us understand.
The third most significant piece of information I received outside of the Bible, is the Secret. It is a basic belief focusing on the Law of Attraction. The mind doesn't know the difference between the truth and a lie. It responds accordingly to our thoughts. If you constantly give yourself negative self talk, doubt and pessimism
than you will attract negativity and doubt into your life. Success means different things for different people so stay true to self discovery and good self care. Success is not an accident and preparation is imperative. Each day is an opportunity to live life to the fullest and relish in the small miracles as well as the big ones. We are not born with positive self esteem or ambition. These are qualities that are developed by what we feed our spirits and minds. This is why it is important to surround yourself with the people, places and things that encourage and believe in you. Likewise, we all have gifts and should be willing to share those gifts for the betterment of humanity. I have found that 90% of what I have wanted in life, I have been able to achieve because of my faith in God and the aforementioned information. I was not born with this, I had to learn it and practice it. I continue to face challenges with the belief that no matter what happens God wills for me greater than anything I could ever will for myself. I try not to beat myself for making bad decisions and try to learn from my experience and take responsibility for my actions. Life is a journey, not a destination. Peace.

Increasing Your Views on You Tube.

2010-07-09T18:24:00.000-07:00

I was surfing the net as I often do for new tools to grow my business, when I googled "how to increase my hits on Youtube". To my amazement, I found a few software programs that allowed the user to manipulate the number of hits documented a specific video. I immediately started to wonder how many "popular" videos had been manipulated. Which begged several questions; Why is such a program necessary? The obvious reason being that everything is up for fraud and that is very sad because now every time I see the staggering number of hits on a stupid "cat dancing on hind legs" video I am going to wonder if it was manipulated. Next I wonder why Youtube does not have a system to track hits and decipher which ones are real and which ones are not. My web host Hostbaby and my CD distributor CDBaby both have very specific tracking methods which give me daily stats on my hits. Is it because Youtube like television stations can charge advertisers more to advertise on popular videos than obscure ones? I don't know, but it makes me wonder. I have tried to increase my hits by emailing info to people, using keywords that bring the videos up in searches, about once a month I search for info videos on Youtube. I have not figured out how to get huge numbers. I do not plan to manipulate my hits because my videos are not for the mainstream and like caviar, my video productions are an acquired taste.

Derby Day

2010-07-04T17:56:00.000-07:00

Better late than never. This is what happens when you don't have staff of writers yet. I recently had the pleasure of performing at Derby Day in Derby Connecticut on Saturday, June 26th, thanks to our recent affiliation with the Valley Arts Council. I must admit, I was a little apprehensive. I had never done a street festival in Derby and I wasn't sure what to expect. It was a beautiful day. The ride from my house was effortless and I found parking a few feet away from the entrance. I planned to bring jewelry and CD's and my drum, but I ended up leaving everything in the car except for my Street Performing Case (This is a big travel tote on wheels with a pull up handle that I can put my Street Cube and other stuff. It is large enough for me to have put my jewelry, CD's and drum, but I did not prepare my case in advance. (Remember the importance of preparing in advance. This way you don't forget things.) With a deep breath, my son and his friend and an open heart, off I went to play my heart out. My partner in crime, Moonshine Kellie and I set up at the entrance of the Derby Green under a nice big tree in what appeared to be the children's area. There were lots of games, activities and people. The first songs are always the roughest as you get your sound and feel correct. As we were setting up, a 4 piece "barber shop" style band came over and proceeded to play a song. I am sure the expression on my face said everything and one of the members assured me that they would only play one song. As we played people stopped to listen, sat down and chilled and the people in the tent next to us encouraged us to keep playing. Some people put money in the tip basket. After an hour or so, we moved on to the next spot right on the street in between The Hill Health Center tent and a toy tent. The vibe was great! People stopped, tipped and applauded. I was feeling the love and the kids were having a ball. The music flowing onto the street, and latched on like a soundtrack to the sights and sounds of kids playing, families walking together, merchants hawking their wares and scents of various foods dancing in the air. I was at home. I felt like I was in NYC. People got it. Unlike a lot of cities in CT, people in Derby seemed to fully embrace and understand the Street Performer and the natural thing to do was to listen, applaud and tip. Simple and fabulous. Its amazing how some of the biggest ideas can come out of the smallest towns. Thanks Derby CT. and everyone at The Valley Arts Council!

Maintaining Enthusiasm

2010-07-04T12:37:00.000-07:00

Ever have a great performance and then after the show someone comes up to you and tells you how much they were touched by what you did? Do you feel great knowing that all your hard work has paid off and you feel confident that you are doing the right thing even if you are not winning awards and signed to a big record deal? Then a few days later you find yourself coming off this emotional high only to crash into what seems like a bottomless pit of self pity littered with doubt about your calling, and jealousy over not getting the recognition you deserve? All artists, well all humans visit this dark place periodically. We are only human. Our feelings are valid and this is only normal.

Many artists work seemingly thanklessly for years and sometimes die before their work is recognized. Ultimately what will make or break our spirit is our vision, our view of not how the world sees us, but how we see ourselves. It is the unyielding desire that drives us to put pen to paper, pic to guitar string, stick to drum, mouth to microphone and share the truth within us with who ever is willing to accept it. It really is about the one, not the many. It is about what we feel on the inside, not what is going on on the outside. It is about following our hearts and not our heads.

Success does not occur by chance, it is created through hard work and persistence.

Why Artists Do What We Do.

2010-06-21T09:17:00.000-07:00

Musicians are probably some of the most misunderstood people on the planet. We do not consciously decide to be laughed at and discouraged when we talk about our aspirations to make a living at making music. Nor do we expect to have to explain why we should be paid for doing what we do as professionals, Doctors and lawyers don't have to justify why they are to be paid. We don't look forward to strangers looking at us like aliens or crossing to the other side when they see us perform on the street. We don't plan on having to take on meaningless side jobs because we can't get paid for the work we do or in some cases forgo our dreams all together to get a "real job".
Far too often, many artists did not and do not learn the business and when opportunities arise, they are unprepared and uneducated and often get caught up in bad business deals and get taken financially. In addition, appearance and age in America are more portrayed on television as being more important than the art. As a result, many talented and deserving artists go unrecognized and unrewarded.
I don't believe that artists are made, we are chosen by the Most High to view and communicate our views to the world through tapestry eyes; seeing a blank canvas and being able to see a multi colored tapestry. Everyone has special gifts, ours is to communicate our views of the world through sound. Most artists that I know are driven to create their music whether they want to or not. Its an innate obsession that dictates where we live, who we marry, when we eat, when we sleep and who our friends are.
For many artists the desire to create supersedes the need to understand and even engage in the business of music, so we sacrifice the monetary benefits for the spiritual benefits which can never be assessed in dollars; the smiles we bring to a child's face who is seeing herself in us; the fan who comes up to us after a show to tell us how they loved that song because it was about them; the warm fuzzy feeling that people get when the stars align and everything is right in the world while they are lost in the vibe of the song; the power of music to motivate people to move, change and grow.
There is no way to quantify why we do what we do. It is what is. So we try to coexist in a world where we are often ridiculed, misunderstood, targeted, mistreated and alienated. We seek out others who are like us and gain hope from the ones who get it and love us because of it. Love, Peace and Hairgrease! Shadow

Sometimes Tomorrow Doesn't Come.

2010-06-16T19:13:00.000-07:00

This had been an interesting week. I have been more aware than usual of how we interact with each other. I would to share a few of my observations. One, as I get older I find that people seem less motivated and inclined to invest in developing and nurturing relationships. It seems easier to blow each other off with excuses than it is to be honest and straighforward. It seems that it is easier to justify behavior by blaming what we do on what someone else does. Recently, I experienced several interactions with people in different environments and circumstances and yet I walked away feeling the same bad taste in my mouth. I approached a "brother" in my church about feeling as if he were ducking me at church and distancing himself from me. We shared interests in music and college, so when I called him we talked on the phone about things. I noticed that I was calling him and he wasn't calling me. when I stopped calling him, he did not call me and it seemed that the only time we spoke in church was when I approached him. I couldn't help but notice this behavior, so after a few weeks I asked if I had done something to him unknowingly to make him act this way toward me. He shared that I had not done anything to him and he was unaware of his behavior and was sorry. He also stated that he saw himself becoming distant from other friends and they from him. We talked about the importance of investing in friendships in order to develop and sustain them. We decided to meet for coffee. We grabbed Starbucks and Subway, laughed talked and we went to a bible study that he had invited me to attend with him. The hosts were very nice and I learned a lot. We agreed to meet the following Friday for Bible Study. I did not attend or call to say I was not going to attend. Nor did he or the study leaders call me to find out why I did not attend or call. I was wrong for not calling and blowing them off. I did not plan to do it, but during the week I remembered a previous commitment and instead of calling to let them know I did not. As the week passed into a new week, I thought about calling but did not. In part because I became preoccupied with other things and the other reason was because I did not want to come across as irresponsible, even though I was being irresponsible and inconsiderate. I do not know why no one felt motivated to call and see what happened to me or to see if I needed encouragement or support. I called one "sister" in church after hearing that she was having severe back trouble. I left a message on her answering machine to left her know she was in my thoughts and prayers. She never returned my call. Perhaps she was too ill to call me back. My co-worker ended up falling and injuring her back at our job twice in the last 7 months. She was out for a few months and returned a few weeks ago and fell last week again. I called her twice in the last week to see how she was doing. She had not returned my calls, yet other co-workers report speaking to her. We talked and maintained an open line of communication when she was out before so I had no reason to think that we would not talk now. Perhaps she has decided that she does not want to talk to me or she is too ill and must prioritize who she talks to. I had a recent meeting with an arts administrator with the hope of partnering to develop performing arts opportunities for myself and others. We talked about what I do and what I bring to the table and we talked about what the organization was and hoped to do and how I could be a part of this. I am a paying member of the organization and wanted to be active. She assured me that we could "make it happen" because these ideas that she was fact working on. Upon agreeing to what I thought was an opportunity to work together I extended my hand and said something to the effect of "Its a deal." She looked at me and then my hand and pulled back and said "Whats that?". I explained that being a business woman at heart, I am prone to forge a partnership with a handshake. This is a symbol of commitment. After this she told me that she would need to run this by her director. The same proposal that she herself told me that she was already implementing. I wondered if she heard what she had in fact told me and if she realized that I heard what she told me. In each of these instances, I wondered about a few things. Why is it so difficult for us to say what we mean and mean what we say? Why is it so difficult for us to be honestly considerate? Are we so concerned about hurting each others feelings that we feel that need to be evasive and or dishonest? Are we so inconsiderate of each other that we don't respect each other enough to be even bother? Are we so self absorbed and or preoccupied with the next thing that we just don't take the time to invest in the moment and the individual?

A week ago, my 28 year old daughter and I had a disagreement. We had been having the same discussion about faith, money, employment and patience for what seems like forever. We have drastically different views on how she addresses these issues in her life. she often calls me hard and unsympathetic. As a result, I have encouraged her to agree to disagree. I attribute my views to being older and having more life experience and wisdom than she does. She did not like what I had to say last week and for the umpteenth time she hung up in my face. I thought about this for a moment and I realized that if I called her back she could avoid me by not answering the phone. I was used to this behavior, but I did not like it or appreciate it. I wanted her to understand the gravity of her actions, so I texted her and reminded her that she would not dare hang up on her "godmother", but she regularly does it to me. This mere action seemed to provoke the following: failure to return my phone calls; not going to church with me; not allowing me contact with my grandchild; failing to inform me that she did not need me to watch my grandchild and as a result I went to pick her up from the after school program and she was gone and lastly not talking to her 9 year old brother for about a week. There are two sides to every story and the truth. I am presenting my observations and posing questions to ponder. I am a hopeless optimist. I do not believe in the word can't and my motto is "No excuses accepted." I also believe that for every action there is a reaction. I don't treat people the way I want to be treated, I aspire to treat people right because its the right thing for me to do. I believe in karma; what goes around comes around and who you step on to get to the top can be the same person you need to help you get up when you fall to the bottom. I live my life based on these principles, pray for guidance, seek support from others and say I am sorry when I believe that I should. I do not believe in try, I either do or I don't, one thing at a time, one day at a time. I am old enough to realize that tomorrow is not promised and I have learned the hard way that sometimes tomorrow doesn't come. I am not guaranteed the opportunity to right a wrong or give a hug or tell someone how much they mean to me just because I want it to be so. I remember being 10 and being very angry with my father for spanking me for something that my step brother had done. I was my fathers only child; his little princess and I could not imagine how he could have spanked me. He spanked my step brother too, but that was not the point. That night I sat in the tub and cried and mumbled that "I hated my Daddy" and my stepmother walked in to the bathroom and told me that I should not say this. That was the last time I saw my father alive. I lived with my mother during the week and with my dad and other family on the weekends. I did not know it, but my father had Hotchkins Disease. he died without notice at the age of 33. I started drinking alcohol at the age of 10 and would carry that guilt and drink and drug over it for many years. I wished I had not said what I said. I wished that I did not hold a grudge. I wished, I wished , I wished. I believe that life is to be lived to the fullest. Relationships are gems to be cherished and held in high regard. The greatest gift one human can give to another are pieces of themselves; their hopes, their dreams, their fears, their joys. their laugh, their tears, their happiness, their anger, their truth, their respect and their love. The best gift I can give to treat these like the priceless gifts that they are. Peace, Love and Hairgrease until next time. Shadow.

The Importance of Being Connected to a Good Crew.

2010-06-09T18:46:00.000-07:00

I remember the first time I knew I wanted to be a Rock Star. I was 10 years old and I was watching either Midnight Special or American Bandstand and there was a woman singing. I don't remember exactly what song she wads signing, but I do remember how she looked and how it made me feel. She had long brown, straight hair almost down to her butt. She wore a white glittery dress and heels. I was amazed by her voice; the range, the power, the feeling. Her presence dominated the stage. As I listened to her sing, I was overwhelmed with emotion and it felt like water running through my blood stream. I had never felt this feeling before and only hoped that I would feel it again. It was at the moment that I knew I wanted to have this kind of power to make others feel the way she made me feel. From that moment on I started singing and making music. My parents told me I could anything I set my mind to so when I said I wanted to play guitar and sing, my mother bought me my first guitar and a tape recorder for Christmas. I started listening and playing my guitar to records. Since I was born, I remember hearing music of all types; country music from Glen Campbell and Bobby Gentry; soul music from Little Anthony and The Imperials; girl groups like the Chiffons; songbirds Laura Nero and Labelle; rock music by The Beatles; pop music by the Jackson 5 and The Osmonds. Many years later I am still as passionate and thrilled about my music.
Unfortunately having a dream in and or itself is not enough to make it come true. I cite my evolution from amateur to professional singer the day I was first paid to sing. There would be many payments, opportunities, merch sales and tips since that day in 1987 and part of my success and continued growth has come from being part of a "good crew". A good crew is a few people who you can share your dreams and hopes with and they with you. You support and encourage each other and share resources, opportunities and information. Your crew mates are honest with you and respectful of you. You and your crew mates share a vision and mutual ambition around your goals. Good crew mates believe in you even when you have difficulty believing in yourself. Good crew members stick together in good and bad times.
In order to be connected to a good crew, one needs to be a good crew member. No one succeeds by themselves and for every success I experienced, for every lesson learned, for every fear I overcame, there was someone beside me all the way.

A License To Abuse.

2010-06-06T13:39:00.000-07:00

What do we do when those closest to us take advantage of our kindness? Mistreat us? Disrespect us? Situations as simple as offering to babysit until a certain time, but your relative comes back extremely late, doesn't call and has an attitude. Perhaps you loan a friend money or co-sign for an apartment and they don't pay you back or they fail to keep the lease agreement and you are stuck paying their bill and end up with bad credit. Possibly you have experienced having someone "borrow" something from you without asking and then when you ask them about it, they get defensive and act as if you did something wrong by asking about it. It's at these moments that four responses typically come to mind; scratching your head in confusion and surprise at the gall of this person; Wanting to scream and holler and try to explain to the person how badly they have hurt you and why;Wanting to flip out and give them a beat down and lastly praying for forgiveness and understanding. I put prayer last not because it is the least important, but as a spiritual being having a human experience, I often respond with my human feelings first and then connect with the God in me. I wish I could say that these situations are isolated incidents and that they are easy to deal with because they don't happen very often, but not! Unfortunately these interactions with family and friends seem to becoming more frequent and more acceptable as evidenced by these reality talk, divorce, family and court shows; increased violence among family members; bad business deals and on and on. I am not sure why there seems to be such a break down of respect, consideration and yes even love, but I do know that it makes society worse, not better. I know that not all incidents are intention,but I do believe that each individual in their sound mind is is the controller of their own actions. I believe that in a sound mind, we understand the difference between right and wrong and good and bad. I also believe that in our sound minds we know how painful emotional hurt can be and if it hurts to us, it is quite possible it will hurt for someone else. It seems as if there is more acting before thinking. The typical response for getting caught in bad behavior is to apologize, but I believe that if we know enough to know that it is wrong, hurtful, unethical, etc. than we know enough not to do it to begin with. My father told me that if I did not stand for something, I would fall for anything. My mother told me that what ever is in the dark will come to the light. The blind cannot lead the blind, so if you don't want to fall and break your neck when you enter a dark room, turn the light on before you go in and let the light shine so all can see. Peace.

2010-06-02T21:20:00.000-07:00

Who is Shadow?

2010-05-29T08:57:00.000-07:00

Modern Rock/Spoken Word Songstress, Shadow carries 6 strings, 76 keys and a couple of sequencers to present poignant poetry, riveting rhythms, uncluttered yet vibrant choruses and melodies dancing up and down a 4 octave range to spew spoken word and song, with a ferocious flair to fan the flames that feed the fire, as a one woman, rock and roll medicine show spreading love from place to place.
Playing primarily festivals, bookstores, coffeehouses, libraries, subways, parks, house concerts and art exhibits, Shadow is joined by bassist/guitarist, Joe Cavanaugh and together they form, Shadow and Company. Fast becoming a global presence, Shadow's videos and music can be seen and heard on www.google.com, http://www.d-o-music.com/, http://www.myspace/.
Shadow is carving out her own unique niche as the Indie Modern Rock/Spoken Word Songstress.
After a year of recording and episodic performances in area coffee houses, the now split Shadow & Company released the renamed "One Giant Step" as "8 Steps Forward" a modern rock/spoken word milestone in Spring 2009. After the release of " 8 Steps Forward", bassist, Joe Cavanaugh cited new musical interests as the reason for the split.
In 2008, Shadow returned to the University of New Haven to complete her degree in Music. Her new album "One Giant Step" by Shadow and Company will be digitally released in January 2009.

During the summer of 2007, Shadow embarked on an ambitious effort, the RockaThon, to play as many shows in a weekend as possible in NY and MA. Shadow played In 2006, Shadow became officially "googled" as modern rock/spoken word Diva.
After 3 years online at CDBaby.com, Shadow sold her first single from her second Indie release "No Middle Ground".

It pays to believe in yourself!

Shadow also became the first performer to ink a deal with Marjolaines Bakery/Coffeehouse to do a 3 show concert series, "The Marjolaine Sensational Summer Concert Series on States Street in New Haven. Shadow haulted the release of her 3rd cd "Deep" in order to redefine and solidify the sound with her new bassist, Joe Cavanaugh.
With the recent rebuilding of guitarist/producer/mentor, Ronnie Neuhauser's Center For Free Thought in East Haven, Shadow has been focusing more on musicianship and less on playing out live.
In 2005, Shadow became the first performing artist in New Haven to receive an official street performers permit and can be seen on Saturdays near Starbucks on Chapel Street. Shadow is a local, award winning poet, singer, songwriter and artist educator. Shadow received an array of formal musical and artistic training at The Neighborhood Music School, Yale University, The Educational Center for The Arts and the Arts Council of Greater New Haven. Shadow has been a professional artist since first getting paid to sing in 1984 and had performed primarily as a solo artist until 2003.

After two years of playing venues across CT and NYC, Shadow and the two other bandmates from her original trio, Us, parted company in July 2005, right after completing their first full length CD, "Deep". Shadow has since continued to promote and market "Deep" with an anticipated release on September 2005 on cdbaby.com.
As a solo performer, Shadow has been featured at The Baggot Inn, The Nuyoricans Poets Cafe and The Orange Beer in NYC, as well as The Long Wharf Theatre, PizzaFest/IFest 2004, Artspace, Cafe9, BAR, The Tune-Inn, The International Festival of Arts and Ideas, The New Haven Advocate Festival and more. Collaborations have included Michael Mills; Obie Winner, Dal Orlander-Smith; international world music sensation, Sally Nyolo; Broadway dancer, Larry Farrell; Boston pianist, Jennifer Minuto and gospel greats, The Golden Stars.
Shadow is an artist/educator who writes grants and has worked with numerous area organizations to use art to bring attention to social issues. Her accomplishments include the writing, soundtracking and production of the 3 part video series on drug use, abuse and recovery, The S.A.V.E.(Substance Abuse through Video Education) Project in 2005; The "Eyes Wide Open" Conference on Domestic Violence in 2004; The DO Music Festival and Music Awards in 2003; "A Slip In The Dark, Women Artists Entertaining and Educating Around Womens Issues", a year long tour of schools, community, youth and treatment centers across CT.
Shadow has self published 2 books of interactive poetry, "Mommies and Nanas" in 2001 and "BRIDGES", a poetic journey of recovery in 1994. In addition, Shadow has created a line of jewelry, greeting cards and a body of abstract art. With a background in sales and marketing, Shadow works with other Indie artists to market and promote themselves through print, television and the Internet.

WEATHERING THE STORMS OF LIFE

2010-05-27T09:39:00.000-07:00

Every day we are faced with different challenges and trials. From getting a flat tire to losing a loved one and we are not prepared for any of it. Each day is a new day never before seen and once its gone it cannot be recaptured. Therefore, I live each day to its fullest seizing each opportunity as a chance to grow, learn and to be better than I was yesterday, constantly striving to reach beyond my potential. "Shoot for the moon and you'll land among the stars."
I have been having a series of discussions with someone close to me about the fairness of life. When my 9 year old tells me "That's not fair." I tell him "Life isn't fair." It took me a long time to realize that it rains on the rich and the poor, the genius and the idiot, the righteous and the unrighteous. If we had not bad times, we could not appreciate the good times I saw we because I feel that I am a member of the human race; a spiritual being having a human experience. A Christian who is in the world but not of the world. I feel comfortable that in stating that my feelings are not new. If I have felt something odds are, so has someone else. My feelings are my own and I am entitled to feel any way I like and so is everybody. Its what I do with my feelings that makes the difference between good decision making and mental meltdown.
Dealing with feelings is a challenge especially being the care taking, feelings on my sleeve wearing, perfectionist that I am. I don't like emotional discomfort, pain or change and most of the people that I know don't like it either, but that doesn't change what I call cosmic reality; The only thing we have truly control in life is our feelings. We don't control other people even if we think we can. We can't control the weather or the environment. We can't control what happens in our lives because change is constant and inevitable. This is another cosmic reality. We can manage what how we conduct ourselves and interact with other people. We can control our behavior, but not our thoughts because if we could we would opt to think only happy thoughts. this is impossible because we are made up of all thoughts, not just certain ones.
Sometimes we can dwell on or remain in a negative thought process for so long that we have difficulty getting out and then we become hostage to our own thoughts. This is why I find it imperative to my growth to surround myself with like minded people who share my ambition, appreciation of life, love of mankind, etc. , so that I can obtain advice, support and strength and I can also share my advice, support and strength. "Pay it forward". I am now more settled and one of the most important lessons I have ever learned comes from an old friend named Linda Ofosu. "So a man thinketh so he is." This is a quote from the Bible, but I don't know what book. If you think you can't do something, be someone or have something, odds are you won't. the brain doesn't know the difference between the truth and a lie and it will direct you accordingly. I am no scientist, but I know that 90% of what I have wanted to do have and be in my life has come true, therefore I can proceed based on the averages that I expect that if I continue to do what I have been doing, I will continue to get what I have been getting. It is work to stay positive and motivated in this world, that is why we all need help. here is a list of some of my strategies for success. Now let me premise this by saying that life is not a bowl of cherries, it is a basket of fruit; apples, berries, pears and yes, some lemons. " when life gives you lemons make lemonade."

Take a moment each day to connect with your inner self through prayer, meditation, a few moments of silence. Prayer for me is talking to God. Meditation or silent time is so I can hear God when he talks back.
Take time each day to smell the roses literally and figuratively. Count your blessings.
Smile and give someone else a compliment. It will give you warm fuzzies.
We don't plan to fail, we fail to plan, so do something each day to work on your plan.
take time at the end of each day to review your day and how you conducted yourself in the world. Were you honorable? considerate? loving? forgiving? tolerant?
If you need to say I am sorry for bad behavior make amends, forgive yourself as soon as you can, don't put it off.
Give someone a hug and say "I love you" daily.
Talk about your dreams with someone you trust daily. this will get you to become more accountable to your goals.
Do something fun just for you daily, so you don't lose perspective or hope.

Love, peace and hair grease.

This is the first one!

2010-05-26T20:19:00.000-07:00

Hello and welcome to the world of DiGiTaL OvErDoSe Musical Productions, the online blog that takes you inside my world. My name is Shadow, modern rock, spoken word songstress. I am from CT, but most people think I am from NYC because of my attitude and outlooks. I believe I was born in NYC and when I was a baby my parents brought me to CT. No offense to CT, but people come across as a lot more conservative and rigid than those in NYC. CT has been good to me, but so has NYC.
The purpose of The DO is to share my opinions and experiences and hopefully, my readers will be able to identify with my stories, struggles and successes. Secondarily, it is provide a forum to educate, congregate and stimulate growth, movement and positive change.
I am an Independent musician, videographer, producer, poet, activist and substance abuse clinician. I work with communities and individuals to improve our societies through performing arts. As the internet is fast becoming our primary source of information and interaction, it is imperative for me to enter new arenas. Unlike many of the more seasoned bloggers, I will be posting at least once a week and more often if I have time, but I want readers to know they can depend on topical, inspirational and informative content. No garbage. I will not be blogging just to see my name in print. So as we start this journey together, I hope you will comment; good or not so good; share my blog with others and ultimately feel encouraged to continue or to start pursing your dreams. Peace, love and hair grease.

Shadow and Company LIVE! at The Mansion

2010-05-26T19:48:00.000-07:00

2010-05-26T19:38:00.000-07:00

2010-05-26T19:16:00.000-07:00