The Drunken Manologues

Greatest Comment on Feminism Ever

2011-03-21T15:35:00.000-07:00

Written by a commenter called "Herbal Essence" on The Spearhead site, in reference to a rebuttal article concerning a book entitled "Manning Up" by author Kay Hymowitz: The American Man, according to Feminism:“He’s a rapist. He’s a pervert. He’s a dominating patriarch. He’s intolerant. He’s a caveman. He’s superfluous as a father. He’s only good for his money. He’s….OMG why won’t he marry us?”

"I Want To Start a Family" - or "Ladies: Here's How to Get a Man to Immediately Delete Your Opener E-mail"

2011-03-14T17:02:00.000-07:00

Holy shit. Over the weekend this woman sends me an e-mail through Match.com that seriously begins with "I saw your profile and want to start a family soon." Oh, and did I mention that she's 48?! Admittedly, gynecology is just a hobby for me, but my non-expert opinion is that by 48 years old that ship has definitely sailed. Regardless of her age, there pretty much isn't anything worse to start

Hacking Match.com's Search Recommendations

2011-03-09T16:15:00.000-08:00

After a few times of this happening it cannot be a coincidence. Plus, it makes perfect business sense for them to do this. Okay, so that we are all on the same page, here's a little background: One of the absolute key things to notice when searching Match.com profiles is the user's activity date. There are various boilerplate answers put forth here by the server that range from "Online Now"

Cougar-rific

2010-02-18T17:22:00.000-08:00

Gents, my latest thing are cougars. Yeah, I'm probably late to the party, but better late than never. They are like a breath of fresh air. Want to get laid without all of the associated bullshit of chasing women? Want the path of least resistance into her pants? Then you want a cougar. Let me tell you, a recently divorced woman is the absolutely easiest woman in the world to bone. Show up,

What to Look for in a Woman: The Big Three (TM)

2010-01-29T18:31:00.000-08:00

In business school the big three of products/components in the supply chain/etc. are: 1. Quality 2. Time 3. Price Now, choose any two. The truth of the matter is that getting any two of the three is very easy, but getting all three is damn near impossible. For example, I can procure a top-quality component tomorrow - but only if I'm willing to pay significantly more in the process. So, why

The Friend Zone, pt. 2

2010-01-05T00:47:00.000-08:00

Okay, so, what's the best way to cross the line from friend to lover? Remember: 1. As described in part 1, the first thing to come to grips with is that your chances of success in this endeavour are incredibly small. 2. Your chances of pissing her off, ruining the friendship and her never speaking to you again are incredibly huge. I'll say that again. If you want to fuck her, be ready for the

Killer Deals on Watches

2010-01-04T23:57:00.000-08:00

So, it's no secret that I'm a watch whore of the highest order. I've worn a watch on my left wrist every day since the second grade. It's the last thing I take off before and the first thing that I put on after sex. Seriously. A watch is the perfect accessory for a man - functional, fashionable and (pun intended) timeless. Wearing a watch will never go out of style. As a man, you should

Happy New Year!

2010-01-01T23:25:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! Here's to a great 2010 filled with all that brings you peace and happiness! The Drunken (Web)Master

The Friend Zone, Part 1

2009-12-09T10:09:00.000-08:00

Why, "let's just be friends" is your clue that you're doing it wrong and how to cross out of the friend zone. Rule #1: Women want (therefore, are attracted to) what they can't (or think they can't) have. This is a crucial point, so let me repeat it: women WANT what they CAN'T have. If they think that they can have you at any time, they won't want you sexually. If you want to have sex with a

Latin Thought of the Day

2009-12-07T12:40:00.000-08:00

Ex damno alterius, alterius utilitas.One man's loss is another man's advantage.

Dating Tip: Ya Gotta Know When to Hold 'em, Know When to Fold 'em

2009-10-20T16:34:00.000-07:00

As they say, breaking up is hard to do. Only sometimes it shouldn't be.Unfortunately, too many guys stay in so-so relationships for all the wrong reasons. Ponder these for a moment and be honest with yourself - has this ever crossed your mind?1. I like getting laid, so I'll put up with all of her drama/controlling behavior/double-standards/etc. It's like a price to be paid for regular sex.2.

Dating Tip: Distance

2009-07-27T16:40:00.000-07:00

So, we here at The DM don't make any judgment upon men that are seeking relationships, nor do we judge men that are only interested in getting laid. Having said that, there are some clever ways of increasing the success rate of either possibility based upon the distance a potential mate lives from your base of operations.To put it simply, if you're looking for a relationship, find someone no

Online Dating Tip: Searching Match.com

2009-07-14T12:19:00.000-07:00

So, when searching for potential mates on the likes of Match.com there are a couple of things to keep in mind.1. Filter by Activity Date, with the most recent first. I can't stress this enough! The girls you want to talk to are the ones that are active - that means no more than 3 days between logins. Why? First, it shows proactive interest in meeting someone - and - she's getting regular

In Defense of Bigger Girls

2009-07-10T15:31:00.000-07:00

Yeah, okay, I know. I've taken a dig or two at the bigger girls here. But, the truth is that hooking up with a girl that isn't the typical skinny biyotch can actually be quite good for one's sex life. In a nutshell, here's why:Bigger girls try harder. There's no doubt about it. I was reminded of this the other day when I had the opportunity to hook up with this very hot and rather thin girl.

So, what happened to the nice guys?

2009-07-08T16:43:00.001-07:00

I have heard women ask about the demise of the 'nice guy'. Where did they all go?This little bit from an anonymous sage posted on The Best of Craigslist sums it up incredibly well:Date: 2007-11-19, 3:52AM PST I see this question posted with some regularity in the personals section, so I thought I'd take a minute to explain things to the ladies out there that haven't figured it out.What happened

Yeah, its been a while...

2009-07-08T16:42:00.001-07:00

So, yeah, it has been a long time since the last post. I'll try to fix that shortly... - D

Quote of the Day

2009-02-12T11:55:00.000-08:00

“Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.”- Albert Einstein

(Mis)Adventures in Dating: FGAS

2009-02-03T14:54:00.000-08:00

All ye who venture online for dates, beware of FGAS!What is that, you ask? It's the Fat Girl Angle Shot. We jokingly pronounce it as "eff-gas". Women will use FGAS pictures in their profiles to mask the fact that, though they have a pretty face, they are not as attractive below the neck. FGAS is very real and very common. The most common FGAS pictures are self-portraits taken by holding the

(Mis)Adventures in Dating: DJ

2009-01-15T18:21:00.000-08:00

First, some background.So, back in 1997 I was in my first junior year at a large California State University. One more junior year and a couple of senior years later I'd finally graduate from said university with a business degree, while minoring in group project, abject boredom and standing in lines.Anyway, a unique thing about this particular school is that even though there were about 30,000

(Mis)Adventures in Dating

2009-01-15T17:14:00.000-08:00

So, to help further the cause of all of you daters out there, I've decided to post a series recalling a few of the more memorable dates that I've had over the years. I hope someone learns something from these, as some of these lessons came to me at considerable expense over the years. I'll change the names to protect the innocent.I've done all kinds of dating in the past 15+ years and I was one

The Sad Truth About Relationships

2009-01-09T12:10:00.000-08:00

Welcome to Men/Women Generic Life 101! Funny. Sad. True.The Sad Truth About RelationshipsOriginally posted at Chrys' Fliggo Channel.

From MacWorld: New Apple Notebook

2009-01-07T19:18:00.000-08:00

From the terribly informative Onion News Network:Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No KeyboardLMAO! My favorite line is at the very end.

Morning Madness Courtesy of Women Logic

2009-01-07T01:13:00.000-08:00

Some buddies and I were exchanging relationship war stories the other day and I happened to remember one of my favorites. So, here's a great example of some woman-logic for you.Remember: man logic (a.k.a. just plain old logic) and woman logic are most definitely not the same thing.A couple of girlfriends ago I woke up one morning to find said girlfriend (let's call her Mandy) moping around in a

Seriously Funny Story

2009-01-06T16:50:00.001-08:00

Funny as hell story excerpt from Ubersite contributor, Sideburns:How the Hell Do I Get Out of this One?I'm in a decent relationship right now. It's been two months and there have been no really big arguments. She scratches my head nonstop, gives me awesome massages, and even brings me food when I'm too worn out from work to go anywhere. Since moving out on my own, she gave me even better advice

Happy New Year!

2008-12-31T23:44:00.000-08:00

New Year's Eve in Downtown SF at the Ferry Building.