The Dubai Reality Check

Maybe I should ressurect this bitch?

2011-02-01T03:23:00.002+04:00

It has been almost two years since I made a post. At the peak, there were 800-1000 viewers a day. My contempt for Dubai has not changed, and there are a million posts I wished I made. Vat to do? (bobble). Maybe I will get back in the action now that blogging seems to be such a hot topic these days.So much to discuss... CSI, Douchebags of days-gone by. Shit. I could sit here for a week. At the

Just to prove it is me

2009-04-30T03:16:00.002+04:00

Timestamp on this ad as it is getting a lot of traffic. BTW. Why 700 views on Dubizzle?Don't ask questions. I'll tell you later. Things with CSI are heating up and so is my rent again!Last ditch effortThe response has been crazy!

Last Ribs in Dubai

2009-04-30T00:54:00.005+04:00

As you may know from a previous post, I am a fan of ribs. Love my baby-back, baby-back ribs!On of the benefits of Dubai is that not only can you get infidel juice, but also infidel meat. The government is good like that. Put up a sign that it is for non-Muslims, and infidel away! I have been craving the ribs at the Arabian Ranches golf course for two days now. When I read the news about no more

Nothing to do with Dubai

2009-04-28T12:37:00.003+04:00

Time for another gem from the Interwebz. Nothing to do with Dubai, just impressed with people's skills and amount of free time! The guys in this vid use the same effect as Akon and T-pain (and Cher). Funny stuff.

The Dubai Extension Cord

2009-04-21T01:26:00.008+04:00

I love this. I spend money on quality equipment..ladders, tools, various supplies. In my line of work, I do it right and get it done. What amazes me is the fact that there are other contractors that will spend hours making something like a haphazard extension cord for power, rather than drop 50 AED on a proper one. What the hell is wrong with these guys? Here are some shots from a current job I

Only MIke has a Comment?

2009-04-20T01:47:00.001+04:00

I'm a little surprised. I know I said it before, but this time I am TRULY surprised. Two articles down, I offered to open up Pandora's Box, based on your responses. A couple of hundred people viewed the post, but only "Mike" commented. What gives. A simple yes/no would do.

Dubai Darwinism

2009-04-19T01:26:00.004+04:00

My goodness. Does this really get printed in the paper? Are there people THAT retarded? What is this world coming to?1)How stupid do you need to be to "back into a boiling pot"?2)Was this pot at floor level?3)If people were charged with this man' death, god help us all! (god purposely lower case)4)Disassociate yourself with anyone you consider mentally inferior to you THEY ARE A LIABILITY!Here's

Using the Power of Internet for Evil

2009-04-18T13:33:00.003+04:00

So here's a question. I have no idea of the legality of it, but....It's no secret that my ex-good-for-nothing company whom I lovingly refer to as CSI jerked me off many months back. Long story short, I have not been paid a fil in seven months. No severance, no monies owing, nothing. It adds up to quite a tidy sum and I want and need it. Repeated meetings and discussions have gone nowhere, and it

Selling a car in Dubai

2009-04-09T00:53:00.004+04:00

Caller/loser: "Hello sir/ma'am, in light of today's current economic downturn, I know you have your car listed for 24,000 AED, but I vood like to offer you you 12,000 AED........"Me: "Huh?"Looser: "Vell, you know der is a global financial crisis and prices are being cut"Me: "yeah, and so...."Looser: "Vell, I would like to offer you fair market value"Me: "My car is the best value of it's kind for

Marnie Pearce Tragedy

2009-03-29T16:11:00.005+04:00

I think we have all read about Marnie Pearce, the Brit lady charged with "adultery" after letting a guy use her computer, etc.I have to say I have been a bit of a passive follower of this story, but only because the facts and the whole story are never printed. As you can read in the attached link, the asshole husband as well as the mistress' family confirms HE was screwing around. Regardless of

Great Article on Dubai Real Estate Agents

2009-03-28T19:15:00.007+04:00

It has been said before and discussed to death. The past few years, Real Estate agents here have been more like order takers than sales people. You are not "selling" anything when buyers are lining up to purchase your wares. The marketing department did the job for you by wrapping the Gulfnews in the latest splashy Tower Du Jour. Seems of late these poor guys actually have to have some kung-fu

NBD and Emirates Bank...nice try

2009-03-26T01:33:00.006+04:00

You know, looking back, I see I bitch a lot about government institutions. It is not a conscious effort, it just happens. It is usually these institutions that cause us residents a great deal of stress. It drives me nuts, but that is the way it is. The point of this Blog is to "tell it like it is" to potential residents and expats coming here and help them avoid the pitfalls that come with moving

Dubai Ministry of Labour..help them

2009-03-26T01:03:00.004+04:00

The poor muffins. I think if they gave an award for the most useless piece of shit on the internet, it goes to the UAE MOL. Just a pile of steaming camel poo. As far as a self-service site....balls. Completely useless! In no particular order:1. Good luck finding the English link2. If you find it, any forms are in Arabic3. Most (if not all links are broken)4. The maps do not enlarge=useless5. No

I know..more coming

2009-03-22T15:50:00.002+04:00

Sorry gang. Been a busy time fighting with CSI. Have some ideas for some topical posts. Check back later tonight. (watching some local dudes get shit-canned right now) Strongbow, tequila shots and mixed company. Infidels. (I am having an over priced coffee) What is awesome is they are speaking English for some reason!

Shout Out to Montenegro!

2009-03-15T19:25:00.003+04:00

I am interested who is reading the blog. As mentioned before, Google Analytics is a powerful tool. You can see who visits, from where and how long, etc. Since the blog has been live, several hundred people per seek visit, but no one cares to comment. A blog can be interactive as well as helpful. As mentioned before, I frequent a local Dubai Expat Forum, a decent tool for advice whether visiting

485 Dirhams for a Friday Night!

2009-03-15T18:56:00.002+04:00

And all I did was go grocery shopping! Seems everyone I know is out of town so I had nothing to do. The Mrs. had a night out with the ladies, so I dropped her off and made a move for Choitram's. I was hungry as hell and DYING for some bacon, and I knew I could get my fix at Choitram's. My covert pork-op led me to the infidel section around 9:30 last night. My vision was blurry from bacon

This week's 'hole protects us...

2009-03-14T03:37:00.002+04:00

...helps us make decisions and parents us and leads us from our devious ways. By being the moral compass of the internet, DU is able to decide for me (and you) what internet sites we can visit. I will admit, things are looser now than were when DU first introduced the proxy last year. A fellow blogger has a few dandy posts here. I recommend the blog as well, quite good reading the archived bits

However, no Time Frame was Given

2009-03-02T00:44:00.006+04:00

This is the closing phrase on most ingenious government schemes here. However, it allows the fellows in the dash that is dish to sneak in their little rules. Some of which are actually beneficial, like the "let's ban 10 year old cars from Jan. 1" rule that was never implemented. Someone on December 29th thought "holy camel shit, what the fck are we going to do with a million 10-

Nothing to do with Dubai

2009-02-28T16:28:00.002+04:00

But this is the funniest thing I have seen in ages. Literally have tears running down my face. Nice to have a good laugh once in a while. Now that the blog traffic is increasing, welcome newcomers. Feel free to leave a comment or question. I love that people take the time to do these comedy videos. So worth it!BTW, I think I found this by Googling "Dubai" video or something similar on Youtube but

I Take back what I said

2009-02-27T23:50:00.003+04:00

As far as the below post goes, I think I spoke too soon. I happened to look at the phone the next day and it said "Sim Registration failed". Wasn't sure what that meant so I rebooted the phone, then put the Sim in another phone. Same problem. I called DU, and they were having "system issues" with certain numbers. They said they would have it fixed in half an hour, by 12:30. They said the same

DUbai internet and mobiles...how thee sux

2009-02-26T03:25:00.012+04:00

Quite frequently at Dubai Helping Hand, we bitch a great deal about internet speeds and quality. It is almost a weekly event. Anyhoos...a couple of funny things transpired last night with regards to this. I picked up a DU sim card last night from the local mobile shop, after CSI didn't pay the bill on my Etisalat bill. Switching to the 055...we'll see how it goes...more on that later. So I gets

I'm not a Doomsday Prophet, but.....

2009-02-23T12:54:00.003+04:00

In the comments section of the post before this one, I responded to a comment by Ian. I think with regards to Dubai being the "New Babylon", there are two schools of thought. The Dubai is the New Babylon with regards to success, wealth and the tallest tower. (seriously). Or there is my school of thought: The city of Babel fell. Eventually. Giving credit where due, there is a fellow Blogger with a

Dubai is on Crack AND the new Babylon

2009-02-22T02:57:00.008+04:00

I stumbled across something funny today. I don't know how I came across it, but it has to do with Google "suggestions". You know, you basically start plugging something into Google and it finishes it for you. The thing I stumbled across was when you Google "I am extremely" and see what pops up. The last result is funny as hell as seen here (have a look at the last suggestion):I thought I would

New Week, New 'hole

2009-02-17T18:04:00.004+04:00

I said I owed a few. This one was book-marked for me to come back to. This week's asshole is a collective, a veritable bouquet of bung, a cornucopia of cornholio's. Our beloved RTA (I'm going to jail for this one). These are the collection of brainiacs that decide the most inefficient way of getting around Dubai roads. This office is SO inept, it is shocking. By my house, there is a lovely 2 lane

Dubai V. European Pricing

2009-02-16T20:14:00.005+04:00

So I mentioned before, having a draft beer here in Dubai is "special"..it's ALWAYS $10 beer night. When you get to the point where you no longer compare the Dirham to your home currency, you just accept "that's what things cost". (We are now over the fact that a head of lettuce here can cost 20 AED, when at home is is 2 or 3 dhs.) A draft beer is another example...usually 27-35 AED, which is