Surviving Pootie

For my girls

2011-11-28T05:32:00.001-08:00

One night as I was perusing through Pinterset I ran across this pin that put a few things into perspective for me! You see when I was pregnant and had Lindsey I was 24 years old. Little did I know I was in the process of a complete makeover on the inside! Faster than I would have liked I was growing out of college girl and becoming a wife and a mom. The wife thing was not too hard but becoming a mom was a whole different story. I was not ready! I was still selfish. I was just out of school, I just started a job, I was still young, I just got married! So when the first stretch mark appeared at around 30 weeks I was devastated. I was too young to have stretch marks. I mean I had bikinis to wear!!! It seemed like overnight my abdomen was covered in these silvery marks. To make matters worse after I lost all the baby weight and then some they were still there but now my abdomen just hung and was saggy! I was 24 years old with a abdomen of an old lady! I allowed my view of beauty to be all wrapped up in the way my belly appeared. I have spent the past 3 years shedding that selfish self and becoming a mom my girls deserve. Any who, as I saw that pin my perspective changed almost instantly. Here is what I am coming to know as truth:

Each mark reminds me of each month God allowed me to carry my girls. Every line is a reminder of each breath you took, each kick you kicked, and even each punch to my bladder. Each mark is a reminder of the nights I prayed for your healthy arrival. Each line reminds me of God's love for me and you. Each mark reminds me of the love your father and I share that created you! Each line is proof of God's grace and mercy. The belly that now hangs and sags was your home that kept you safe and nourished you until the time came that I could hold you in my arms and make you feel safe and warm.

No longer will I allow myself to look in the mirror and be disgusted. I will now stand in the mirror with pride knowing that each stretch mark and the saggy skin is a reminder that God allowed me to be a mother to 2 beautiful girls. Those marks are an outward sign of the inner change my sweet Jesus has been doing in me.

***A special thanks to my sweet friend Cheryl for taking this picture for me! She is by far the best photographer and friend I could ever ask for!!

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. . .

2011-11-14T13:55:00.001-08:00

In case you have not noticed Christmas is approaching at record speeds this year! Traditionally we put up the tree the day after Thanksgiving and this year is no exception! We have spent 5 Christmas' together now and our tree is not exactly showing it! I don't have enough ornaments to decorate the back and I refuse to spend any more money on ugly balls to fill the spaces! Classy I know!

This year to try and save money, add a personal touch, and most importantly keep my 3yo busy I decided homemade ornaments were the way to go!!!! Some of my favorite ornaments from growing up are the ones that were made by me or my great grandmother! My great grandmother made for my mom ornaments out of egg shells and they are so beautiful! I love pulling an ornament out of the box to hang on the tree and all these sweet memories come flooding in. Trimming the tree becomes this precious time of recalling the past.

Since I do not have a creative bone in my body I turned to Pinterest and searched for ideas. I ran across a pin for Salt Dough and thought this would be great opportunity to create new memories with my favorite toddler that she can pull up each Christmas! (Side note a 3yo has a hard time understanding that these are not cookies to be eaten had many hard conversations with her about that one) So recently we spent the morning making memories! I decided to show you through pictures how easy and fun these ornaments are to make.

Ingredients:

1/2 c. Salt

1 c. Flour

1/2 c. Water

Bake in 250 degree oven for 2 hours (Should be hard all the way through)

Combine salt, water, and flour and stir.

This is the perfect dough for Lindsey to stir up as it is not too heavy!

Knead the dough a few times and the flour you surface and rolling pin and roll out to 1/4 in thickness.

Lil miss EC loved watching Linds roll out the dough! I happened to have a ruler out so Linds made me measure every time we rolled out the dough!

Once the dough is rolled out cut with cookie cutters and placed on a parchment lined cookie sheet. (to reinforce colors I had Linds sort all the cookie cutters by color while I fed EC)

Make sure that your dough surface is smooth and even as those cracks will show in the final product.

Once the cutout is placed on the cookie sheet poke a large whole at the top for ribbon when done. A straw works great.

Once you pull your ornaments out of the oven let them cool and then decorate! We used homemade glitter made from food coloring and salt (tutorial coming soon) and then coated them in modge podge and glitter. You could paint with acrylic paint or dye the dough before you cut them out. There are so many ways!!!!

Umm love plastic wrap and duck tape mats. I can throw away the mess at the end of the project!

Once dry I would coat with some form of spray on clear coat to protect the glitter for a long lasting ornament.

Tie a ribbon on the end an you are ready to go! I do not recommend curling ribbon but it was what I had on hand at the time.

Okay now it is your turn to make sweet memories!!!

Cloth Diaper Update Part 1

2011-10-06T09:50:00.000-07:00

EC has been in cloth for about 5-6 weeks now and honestly I love them. I wish I could say that they have been nothing but smooth sailing but as with any new journey there are bumps in the road. Over the next few weeks I want to share with you some of the bumps we have encountered and the lessons learned so hopefully if you use cloth or are interested can learn from them and avoid them!

When we got EC home I was so excited to put her in cloth but the one size covers I bought swallowed her and irritated her belly button. Her newborn clothes did not fit because of her diapers not her size! So we used Pampers until her belly button fell off. Once it fell off and I ran out of pampers I invested in 4 newborn covers and 2 All-in-1s. I already had 4 newborn fitted diapers and 12 prefolds so I was ready to start our diaper journey. I had 4 all-in-2's with 8 inserts and 2 pocket diapers that were just way to big so I put those in the back of the drawer with her one size covers. I started out using the prefolds with a cover because they were the least bulky. My first few attempts were not successful due to operator error. We had a poop explosion in public because I put the cover on wrong and a few leaks because I folded the prefold wrong. So I went into Green Bambino and they showed me a new way to fold. Once I had the fold down and remembered that the cover actually has to cover all of whatever is inserted inside it we were good to go. The fitteds were ok at first but once we switched to formula with some cereal in it the fitteds were great. The all-in-1s I hated from the beginning. They fit for about 2 weeks, took forever to dry, and leaked out the side. As EC's stomach was adjusting to the change in feeding she was not pooping everyday. When she finally poops it is massive. The fitted just does a better job handling the massive amount! The prefolds with a cover do keep it contained but when cleaning it up it is just messier. With the prefolds I did run into her bottom being irritated. I figured it was because her bottom was not getting air and the material does not wick away the moisture. I asked my fav diaper store and my instincts were right. My solution was to alternate the prefolds with the fitteds and then when her other diapers fit I used those in the rotation as well. And of course I changed her more often and used a cloth diaper friendly cream. So.....the morale of this story is don't just buy all one sized diapers or all of one kind. I will get into the all of one kind in another post but trust me on this one for now. My All-in-1s may not fit but my newborn covers and fitteds still fit and will continue to fit for a good while. They just extend my stash!

Stay tuned for Laundry and why buy multiple styles. I know you are on the edge of your seats for it!!!

Just ask already

2011-09-28T23:32:00.000-07:00

I can't sleep! Tonight is the first night that Jay is traveling and I am all alone with both girls! My heart is heavy with many things so why not share them with the internet! I put pictures up of my loves to lighten the heavy.

My pastor posed a question recently about what breaks your heart. What makes you stop and cry? I tried to think about all the Sunday School answers. . . you know hunger, poverty, the orphans and honestly they do not break my heart! What breaks my heart is the thought that my kids will make my mistakes and that they will never come to be passionately in love with Jesus. I want so much more for my girls than just being good people. I want to raise girls that go against the grain, that are not afraid to be weird and stand out because they refuse to just do what the world says is normal!

Here is the kicker, I am scared to death to lay my heart open before God and share with Him my fears and desires for my family. I know that when I FINALLY lay it all out there God will say it is about time and get busy stirring up all kinds of change. I keep trying to plan my life and I know God will come right on in and change all my carefully crafted plans.

I know the end result will be so beautiful. I mean 2 years ago I laid open my heart to God and my world changed dramatically. I am now staying home with my girls and actually loving it. My carefully crafted plan did not involve day care drama or full-time mommyhood but O looking back what God had planned was so much better in every way possible. So I guess I write all this to remind myself that yes opening yourself up to God wrecking your plans can be painful but from that pain and fear comes this beautiful outcome that you can not recreate with all the careful planning in the world. . . just not possible.

Been a little busy

2011-09-12T11:26:00.000-07:00

Introducing Ella Clair Beth Dunks aka EC! She made her arrival on Aug 21st! She was 9 lbs and 21 inches long! No wonder my ribs were hurting! She has beautiful RED hair and long fingers and toes. I think she is pretty darn cute!

Lindsey thinks that Ella Clair is pretty awesome! She is a great big sister! I am so proud of her.

Thank you to all who prayed boldly that we could have this baby naturally. I was suppose to have a C-Section since Lindsey's birth was so traumatic. However as the time got closer my heart knew that God could deliver this baby safely and naturally. So I put all my trust in God and began to pray that God would allow us to have her naturally. Our Dr. agreed that it would be safe and so we went in for a natural delivery! Please don't read this as anti C-section. I just knew in my heart that it was not the delivery we were suppose to have!

So on Aug 20th we went into the hospital at 2:00pm to be induced and at 5:00 am on Aug 21st a beautiful little ginger was born with NO complications. The delivery was pretty close to perfect the way I knew God could provide. God is so amazing. I was so relaxed I fell asleep between contractions when I was pushing.

From the moment she was born I was able to hold and love on her. No having to sneak out of the room to the NICU to see my little girl. It was just my little family all together from the beginning! I feel incredibly blessed!

She is so long!

So pretty. She is my little snuggle bunny! If I sleep with her in the recliner she will sleep for hours on end! She just wants to be close! She is the opposite of big sister!

I have so many posts to share with ya'll! Eventually I will get caught up! o and cloth diapering is going great!

Hmmm. . . .

2011-08-15T12:43:00.000-07:00

Well still pregnant! We go to the Dr. Fri. and will have a baby no later than Sat! Not much longer! We had some fun Sat night though! I could have sworn we were in labor so we rushed Lindsey to a friend's house and headed to the hospital in cautious anticipation that this was the day! Well after 3 hours, 4 miles of walking, and 5 flights of stairs later we were sent home! Dang! What was really frustrating was as soon as we got settled into "our" room everything calmed down! Well stink! Our sweet friends kept Lindsey over night so Jay and I drowned our sorrows in cheez-its and 4 episodes of Breaking Bad! Not a horrible way to end the evening! As Jay and I were taking our labor inducing walk we had a mini date! Jay and mine's best dates are always the nontraditional dates. Dinner and a movie is great but give me hours of uninterrupted time with that man and I am in HEAVEN!!! As we were walking and talking we both came to the happy conclusion that hopefully E-C came at the end of the week so we had a few extra days with Linds! We remembered that our sweet little fam of 3 is coming to an end. A small part of me is sad! For 3 years it has been just the 3 of us on an adventure now we are welcoming a 4th member and it will never be the same! Don't get me wrong I am excited but Linds is pretty awesome!! Hopefully the next post will be pics of baby E!!! Can't wait!!!

Keeping my mind off this growing belly!

2011-08-10T14:32:00.000-07:00

I could write 8 billion posts about how miserable I am or how many days I have left. The last thing I need however is to wallow in my own discomfort! What I really need is to remember that this is a short season and I have way more things to write about than this pregnancy!

For the last hundred and some odd days I have been reading my Bible through in chronological order. I am in the middle of the Old Testament right now. This has been a big challenge. Lets just say Chronicles and Job are not my favorite! I am actually loving reading it all together. The story is so beautifully woven together and points to our amazing Savior. I love the stories of hope and redemption. I love seeing how angry God was with their sin but yet he loved His people so much He continued to deliver them when they certainly did not deserve it! I wish I would have read the Bible like this years ago. I am seeing a more complete picture of my Heavenly Father and oh how He loves us!!! Some days when I read I am just overwhelmed by the love He has for us!!! O if I can only love my husband and children with just a fraction of that love!!! I encourage each of ya'll to read the Bible this way and see His love unfold! Yes some days it is all I can do to make it through but I have to remember those words are important to My Father and He has all kinds of treasures for me to find!

P.S. 10 days!

For my memory!

2011-07-31T22:00:00.000-07:00

Today the sweetest thing happened with Lindsey and I had to write it down so I will not forget it! Ya'll are just lucky to get a sneak peak!

I was picking up my room and Lindsey was in the room with me "helping!" She found a small green book and climbed up in her daddy's work chair and started flipping through it. She was quickly frustrated because there were no pictures and the words were really small. She looked up at me and asked what kid of book this was. I told her that was momma's Bible. She got really excited and said I read it to you mom! I said o really what does it say. She started singing Jesus Loves Me and then transitioned to My God is so Big and ended with Jesus Loves the Little Children. After she finished I asked her is that what it really said and she very seriously said yes mom! I love it! We stopped picking up and climbed up in bed together and she read the Bible to me for a good 15 mins! Such a sweet evening with my little love!

Cloth Diaper. . . Laundry

2011-07-19T11:37:00.000-07:00

Sooooooo I got all my diapers washed (or so I thought)! I followed the directions that the diaper store gave me and it took 2 days! The natural fiber diapers took all day! They were supposed to be washed 3-4 times so that for the first use all the natural oils would be gone and they would have maximum absorbency from the start. That was a little annoying but will be worth it when they don't leak! The synthetic fibers took one load. The bad thing was that they took forever to dry. I was instructed to dry on low for 30 mins and that was not near enough time. So I dried for 20-30 more mins on low then laid them out in the baby room to air dry. I can see this being an issue when we start using them because I do not have a good place to air dry things! The one thing I did that made it take longer was wash each type of diaper separately. There was no need to do that, I just did for me as I was putting them away.

The only problem I really ran into was not reading the label clearly enough to see if it was natural or synthetic fibers. So when I went to buy the last needed inserts for my All-in-2's the sweet girl reminded me to wash multiple times! I had a slight panic attack because I thought I was all done. So now I have to go wash 4 inserts on top of the ones I bought again. I am glad I found out now instead of after baby E gets here!

My advice for washing is 1.read the labels for the fabric type and remember cotton is natural, 2. be ready to be patient but don't run small loads just cause you are anal, and 3. have a space to air dry some of the more stubborn one's!

I was really pleased with washing. After all was said and done I felt very confident that this is totally doable once we start using them.

Next time I will let you in on the choice of cloth wipes! I am still working through that idea!

Quick thoughts!!

2011-07-15T16:37:00.000-07:00

My head is full and I need to dump enjoy the bullet points!!!

All my diapers are washed. Not too bad. Another post about it soon.
3rd trimester hormones are getting to me!
Jay is amazing!!! He loves me even when I snap!
Today felt like a Monday! I just could not please everyone!
I think there is such a thing as being to flexible! I need to start piping up and saying no instead of rearranging my life!
Tuesday's rain was so refreshing! We were even able to eat outside!! Wednesday's cloud cover was amazing, we were able to play outside.
Thursday and Friday the heat returned and well it is murder for this prego lady!
I am toying with homeschooling Lindsey. I am praying about it and experimenting with it! The more I try to "teach" Lindsey the more I realize I could do it!
I am getting nervous about E-C making her debut! How do I incorporate her our family and still make sure Lindsey feels as loved as she does now! The pressure is mounting!
My aunts, mom, and grandma are on their way to see me this weekend!! I am beyond excited!
Dang these 3rd trimester hormones I am done with them!! Can I take a valium??????

Got my Stash!!

2011-07-10T08:13:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I saw on facebook that Green Bambino was having a one day sale!!! So I begged Jay to take me there so I could add just a few diapers to my stash! While I was sitting there trying to figure out which sale items I wanted Jay pipes up and tells me to just get the stash now! So, I grabbed the first employee I could find and started my shopping before he could say no!!! Warning lots of pics! If you stay tuned to the end there is a cute surprise!

This is the whole stash!! I have everything I need to diaper Ella-Clair to potty training!!! The sweet girls at the store recommended me not to put my eggs all in one basket and get a variety! They said I will find that I like some better than others and some will work better for night time, travel, outings, ect. I also bought some that Jay thought would be better for him to use!

These are my pocket diapers! I only got two because they were on sale! They are my least favorite so far! But I may end up loving them!

These are my fitted diapers! These are my favorite so far! They are so cute and suppose to be great at night when you put a cover on them! I can not wait to put her little tush in them!

These are my covers. I can use them with the fitted's and the prefolds! I think I bought a few too many but they are too cute!

This is my wet bag for the diaper bag! So cute!

No more pins!!! This little contraption will hold a prefold without sticking the baby! My mother-in-law would call this cheating!

I bought 12 prefolds! They are supposed to be great for newborns. Fold one and put it in a cover and voila! I am really excited about these!

These are the all in 2's! I am not too sure about these yet! Jay really liked them and they are supposed to be awesome for traveling! So we will see! I will be testing these out in Sept on a road trip to AR!!!

Pail liner! I still need a pail! Wal-Mart this week!

Soap and butt cream!

I told you there was a cute surprise!! She is my big helper in this diaper journey!
I am going to start washing today!!! New post to follow washing! I am so excited!

Cloth Diaper Journey

2011-07-05T13:01:00.000-07:00

With this baby I have decided, and Jay is reluctantly agreeing, to use cloth diapers for baby number 2! Jay says my hippy side is coming out. I just want to be a wise consumer! This is a whole new process for me so I want to blog about it and share my experiences with whoever can find it helpful! I am hoping to be able and look back and see the ups and downs and track some memories too!

I originally wanted to do cloth with Lindsey. After months and months of researching on the internet I became overwhelmed with all the information and just went with good ole' fashioned Pampers! Don't get me wrong Pampers were great and all but dang they were expensive! See, I have a little "tree hugger" in me and the thought of throwing away 12 diapers a day to rot in the landfill was heart breaking! Then the cost each month for diapers is just ridiculous! I knew the cost for cloth upfront is great but the overall cost for disposable is even greater! Also, Lindsey's skin was so sensitive that even Pampers would break her little butt out from all the chemicals. So when we found out #2 was on the way I rediscovered my desire to use cloth and I discovered this local store that was dedicated to cloth diapering. Green Bambino is this amazing store with all these diaper options and the staff to walk you through step by step. As soon as I knew E-C was coming I stopped by the store and talked with the owner for probably 30 mins. She answered all my questions that I could not answer on the internet and walked me through step by step. Jay and I have attended a free diapering class to become more familiar with the diapers as well. I have bought a couple of diapers so I can't back out of my decision but have yet to go in and buy the mother load. A part of me is scared of this new journey. I have little family or friend support. In fact most think I am crazy! But I am one to take the hard road just because I can so I am stepping out on my own! I can not wait to capture this journey on this blog! I know it will be an adjustment but I know that the reasons I am doing it are enough to keep me going! I feel as a stay at home mom I need to be extra cautious of the money that comes in and dang it this is one way to do it! I hope ya'll enjoy the ride with me!

The countdown!

2011-07-02T10:01:00.000-07:00

We are down to a month and a half till Ella-Clair makes her arrival! I can not wait!
Last weekend we were in Arkansas for my cousin Mitch's wedding and I felt this incredible peace about her name and incredible anxiety about her birth! Lets start with her name! Now, sadly I did not get to spend much time with Ella-Clair's name sakes but I had plenty of time to sit at the reception and watch these two women. As I watched them I just felt peace that if E-C can take their parts that make me love them so much she is going to be such an amazing person. Heck maybe then she can compete with Lindsey's full personality!
The same weekend my sweet sister baby sat Lindsey for 2 evenings so Jay and I could have a couple much needed nights out. Date #2 we went to the Drive-In. . . soooooo much fun! As we were sitting there people watching we started talking about the "plan" for when E-C was I began to get extremely uncomfortable. How are we gonna do this, who is gonna take care of Lindsey, who is gonna take care of Jay, what about dinner, grocery shopping, ect. Poor Jay all he could say was I can take care of it all! NOOOOOO I want to take care of it! I threw my fit for a few mins and then just closed my eyes and prayed for God to just take care of it! The worries slowly drifted away. This week I feel as though God has shown me how all the things I allowed to so strongly consume will be taken care of. He knows I love to plan and He keeps reminding me to keep planning all I want but this is all in His timing and He is gonna jack-up my plans anyway! So, I am quitting planning! I can be prepared and ready for the unknown and trust God to see us through this crazy journey! He took care of us with Lindsey why not E-C????

27 and grounded!

2011-06-30T11:06:00.000-07:00

Yup, you read that right!! I am grounded by the state of Oklahoma! Apparently 7 plus speeding tickets in the past 3 years gets your license taken away! Who would of thunk! Do the cops not know that I am in my own little world doing my own little thing not meaning any harm! Guess not! For 30 days I am only allowed to drive Lindsey to school, go to the grocery store, and go to the Dr. Getting those concessions was a lot of work. I had to beg, plead, and pray to the hearing officer for just that! I decided I will blog throughout these next 27 days about my experience . . . so I hope you enjoy the reading!!!

When I first got my letter I was freaking out! What was I going to do for 30 days of NO FREEDOM!!!!! I am the type of person who has to leave the house daily! What was I going to do with a toddler 7 days a week???? I am a better mom because Lindsey goes to MDO! Once I plead my case and got my concessions I began to feel relive. As Jay and I talked about my impending grounding I began to see it as a God send! See, 2 out of the 3 days Linds is in school I keep myself busy with anything and everything. By the 3rd day I am so exhausted that I am useless. So nothing gets accomplished for me or for my family. I was giving everything I had to everyone else. The same issue I had when I was working full-time. I can tell you these past 3 days have been amazing! Tues while Linds was at school I did a little volunteer work at home and the rest of the time I did home work so my evening could be spent with my family! Wed Linds was home so I made extra sure, since we can't go anywhere, to make the day special and focus on her. I got sooooo much accomplished around my house and still managed to have quality time with her. I am realizing she needs me my full attention for 15-20 mins and then she is fine for 30-60 mins on her own. Which freed sooooo much time up. Now, I will not lie I did cheat and sneak out of the house but only to the splash park that is 1/4 mile from the house! Linds deserved the play time! Today, I was able to take a much needed nap. I woke up feeling like a truck ran me over and now when I go get Linds I can give her sooo much more of me since I have not given all of myself away!!!

I know the month is not going to be all sunshine and roses! I am going to miss my volunteer work tremendously and heck my freedom to drive where ever the frick I want but if all I do is sit back and look at the negative I have missed the bigger picture. I believe God is allowing me to take a step back before Ella-Clair gets here and get everything organized internally and externally! I hope ya'll enjoy my journey!!

Pregnancy stuff. . .

2011-06-29T13:55:00.000-07:00

I have some thoughtful, insightful, moving posts in my head but I can't seem to put them down yet! Sooooo how about another pregnancy post!

Lets see I am 32 weeks along! This is one of the only belly pics I have. My sweet friend Cheryl is taking our family pics Fri and she wants to do belly pics so bad and I keep telling her no! I didn't do them with Lindsey! When it was time to do belly pics I was already preeclamptic! I had no energy for pics. This time around is a hundred times better but if I didn't do it with L I am not doing it with any of my babies! Although I do have to say that my belly is growing on me!

I have an insane craving for these cookies! I snack on the bag all day and before I know it they are gone by bedtime! What is sad is they do not sit well on my tummy so I am always sick for a couple days! O but they are soooo good. I can only get them every once in a while or I may end up revisiting my pregnancy with Lindsey!

Before Ella-Clair makes her arrival I am trying to get Lindsey in the routine of reading her Bible every morning. This is something that I have been convicted about in my life. However, Lindsey never sees me read my Bible because I try to have my time with God before she wakes up! Any who, I want her first part of the morning to be special with God and well with me too! Even when E comes I want her to always have a special time that is her's only!

I am a happy momma. . . Lindsey loves Jars of Clay. She calls it her birdie music. Since it is soooooo hot and I am carry an extra 5 zillion pounds we have a lot of dance parties to Jars. Seriously this 104 degree heat is ridiculous! I can only go to Chick-Fil-A so many times a week to play before my husband takes away my money!!!

The nesting phase has started today!! I woke up at 7 and have yet to quit going! I have a clean house, done more loads of laundry than I can count, cleaned out drawers, put up laundry, and even cleaned my laundry room. Heck I am still going during nap time! Usually right now I am curled up on the couch asleep with one eye open while Linds watches PBS! OMG what is the world coming too!

Do Everything

2011-06-08T13:05:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been struggling with my identity. I am no longer working and am not staying home full time. So who am I now that I no longer have a career? A few weeks ago we went to by me a car. As we were signing the loan papers the dude asked me what my career was. It was the first time I had to say stay at home mom. I almost shuddered when I said it and to make matters worse he not so kindly informed me that I would need my husband to make this purchase.

I never thought I would be so reliant on a man! I had all these dreams of being independent and making it on my own. Now, here I am more dependent on my husband than ever. I decided after we bought my car that I had to get a grip on these thoughts or my next 5 or 6 years were going to be hell!

Here is what God is showing me! He has a divine plan for me and my little family and the path is laid out! I can not make the plans! I need to be proud of my new title "stay at home mom." God has called me and equipped me to stay home with my girls! My job is to raise them to love Jesus more than anything and to protect them! That is more important than all the butt wiping I could ever do!

God did not provide a path for me to stay home just so I could be dependent on Jay! He is my partner in this and one of my greatest supporters. He provides for us out of love and servant hood. Never has he made me feel like I do not contribute but the exact opposite he is the one reminding me that God has called us to do this and He will provide for us in all ways!

I struggle still and will continue to struggle just because I loved my career so much but God's blessings abound from being obedient to His path. One blessing He has given me is a passion for the volunteer work I do at the church! I love so much that I get the opportunity to connect new volunteers to a place to serve God! But that is for another post!

When Satan tries and attacks my mind I just need to remember this is the path God has called me to and there is nowhere safer than His will!

Happy Birthday Sweet Girl!

2011-05-19T18:04:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it but my little girl is 3! I feel as though I just brought her home! O how I love this little girl. . . it hurts how much I love her! This year I opted out of a big shin-dig birthday party and we headed to San Antonio to take Lindsey to Sea World. We all had a blast! I couldn't stand the idea of not having a party for Linds so my sweet mother-in-law helped me plan a very low key party that was just perfect!

These pics are not party specific, they are just some of my fav from the weekend! I love my little family. It will not be long till Ella-Clair makes her debut in this world!

I never thought when I brought Lindsey home that God would use her to change me! These past 3 years I have changed so much. This little girl is forcing me to be less selfish, more giving, and patient! I am still mastering patients.

Lindsey has the biggest heart and an even bigger personality. She has found her voice and loves to tell you anything. She loves to scream mommy, mommy. When I ask what she always says I want to tell you somting. She is in love with her sister. She will sit and talk to Ella-Clair and touch my belly. She tells everyone that her sister's name in Ella-Clair! All she wants to do is help mommy. Some days my lack of patients hates the extra help and some days I love it!

She is so pretty! She got her first kiss from some boy at school! Her daddy was calm I on the other hand was not so calm! I almost fell over when her teacher told me! At least she did not do the kissing!

OMG the cake Patti got was uhhmazing! I would kill for some cake now!!!

I feel completely honored to raise this little girl. My life would be so boring with out my little miracle! I don't want her to grow up!!

This is one of my fav pics from the week! She played with the bubbles for the majority of the time there! Best 2 dollars spent!

This is the day of her birthday and the beginning of our trip! She was so happy!

The end of the trip . . . not so happy.

Easter

2011-04-24T19:37:00.000-07:00

Well this Easter was not full of traditions! No Easter basket, no egg dying, and no Easter bunny! I know I know I am a horrible mother! However we have unknowingly started a new Dunks family tradition! Last year we served at church on Easter and our little family was sooooo transformed! This year was no different! I had to work but Jay was up at the church serving all day and I had the blessing of serving this evening after work! We feel so incredibly blessed to be a small part of the change that happened in people's lives today! I do believe that we will continue this tradition. There may not be baskets and bunnies but my girls will know what is means to serve just as Christ has served us! They will know that by serving others they are showing Christ's love to a world that is hurting!

Now one tradition we will keep for sure is a new Easter outfit! We wear jeans and a t-shirt to church every week so Saturday it was so nice to wear "real" clothes! I even threw on some heels not the usual Tom's!!

One of the universities had an egg hunt last weekend. So we took Lindsey and she had a blast! Her daddy loved all the candy inside me not so much!!! So yes my girls will have fun but the bunny and the baskets will not be our main focus! We will choose to be weird!!!

Nothing fancy

2011-04-14T20:01:00.000-07:00

I feel as though it is time for a little update on the happenings in our little piece of heaven! Nothing major just happenings!

We got a cute little cat named Sunny. Right after we had her de-clawed and spayed she ran away! So now I am out tons of money and have a broken hearted 2 year old! Well that was a major fail!!!!

Jay had PRK to fix his vision! Let me just say it was not fun! I had to drive everywhere for 7 days. Lets just say Jay is not a fan of my excellent driving skills! Then, the poor guy felt good except his eyes felt like they were on fire so he was a little grumpy! On the upside he had to wear sunglasses all the time so people thought he was stoned!!

Seriously like two months after the PRK, Jay got his wisdom teeth removed! He was a trooper with that one! He did so good and put on a good show right after his surgery! He really is a good patient!

My little diva's personality is really beginning to shine through! She is bossy, opinionated, compassionate, hard headed, independent, out going. . . pretty much me! She looks like her daddy and acts like me! That worries me! O and she loves her baby sister! She talks to my belly saying "hi Ella" or she will touch my belly and think she is touching Ella! She tells everyone that her baby sister's name is Ella-Clair! I love that she already loves her!

Well that is the past few months is a nutshell!

Its a baby

2011-04-05T15:51:00.000-07:00

Well we had our big Ultrasound! We found out right away that we are having another precious little girl! Her name will be Ella-Clair!!!! She is named after my Memaw and my aunt Clair! These are two women that I love very much! My summer memories are filled with fun times at the farm with my Memaw and Big John. I had some of my best summers with them! Plus there is nothing I love more than going home and going to eat at the Crumpet Tea Room with my Memaw! Her full name is Jo Ella so I took the best part of her name! Jo Ella is so sweet and quiet but when she talks she is freakin' hilarious! She is so quick witted! Plus she is fun to people watch with!!! My aunt Clair is the reason I became a nurse! From her I received the most honest and realistic view of nursing and I still wanted to do it! Not to mention she has struggles with her hearing for unknown reasons and she does not let that get in her way! She is one of the most out going fun person I know and not to mention one of the best seamstresses I know! I am so excited that she agreed to make Ella's bedding! One thing I love about my Aunt Clair is her spiritual gift of hospitality! You will be welcomed into her home at all times with a good drink and even better food! You are never made to feel rushed or not welcomed plus she can throw one heck of a party! I love it when my family tells me I am being like my aunt! Every time I have a party I always think about how Clair would do it!

Ella-Clair has a lot to live up to! I want her to be quick witted and loving like her Memaw and persevere with grace and hospitable like her Aunt Clair! I can not wait to meet this little girl and hold her in my arms! 20 more weeks to go!!!!!

Mistakes into Miracles

2011-03-22T19:17:00.000-07:00

This past Sunday during church there was a quote that pierced my heart, God can turn your mistakes into miracles!!!! How amazing and profound is that statement! No matter how small or large your mistakes God can use them! God can take the life altering, life shattering, hurts to the core mistakes and can pen the most beautiful story that was ever written! I feel as though my life is living proof! I have not always made the wisest of choices that paved my past with roses and candy hearts, but I have come to a point where it finally clicked that Jesus loved me no matter how nasty I looked on the inside! Take a look at all the major characters in the Bible they were so screwed up with pasts that would intimidate anyone! David slept with a married woman and then killed off her husband, Paul killed Christians, Matthew was a tax collector (who doesn't hate taxes) all these men were loved and accepted by the creator of the universe and we are no different! So what, we make mistakes, we royally screw up our lives but Jesus asks us to run to His arms and find solace, comfort, and forgiveness! So why do we fight it run to the One that is waiting to comfort us and accept His love and allow Him to turn your mistakes into miracles!!!!

Pretty Cool!

2011-03-15T17:13:00.000-07:00

For the past few weeks I have been feeling little flutters from baby poppyseed! They have been so sweet and a joy! Last night I got to feel for the first time real kicks!! 4 in a row that just made me giggle! With Lindsey and this baby feeling the little miracle move around is the best! Today was even BETTER!!! Lindsey had fallen asleep on me on the couch and as I laid there praising God that this baby was napping I felt baby poppyseed kick! For the first time it struck me that I am the mom of two precious babies and I am so thankful! It was such a precious moment to be holding both my babies at the same time and feel them! I could do nothing but smile and praise God! God has transformed my life in so many ways, how can I not smile and say thank you!!!

16 weeks!!

2011-03-10T17:01:00.000-08:00

I write all the time about the negatives of pregnancy I thought today I could write about the positives! I am trying really hard to not be so negative about being pregnant! Jay and I prayed so hard for this little gift and the words I say about it need to reflect how excited we are that God chose us to raise this little poppyseed! So here is a list:

people are extra nice to you. No more lifting, moving, straining for ANYTHING!!
My momma comes and does my laundry
I get to be irrational and it is really ok!
I get to wear stretchy pants
People offer to watch Lindsey so I can take a nap!
Jay is so protective of me. It really is a major turn on to be honest!
Hearing a heartbeat is phenomenal and then seeing the baby is even better
I have an excuse why my house is not clean and the laundry is piled up!
I now have a good excuse to redo Lindsey's room
I get to feel the baby move around (best yet)
I get to hack my parents off by our name choices!
I am guaranteed 3 meals a day and 2 snacks! The baby makes me sick if i don't eat so I obey!
I get gain 30, 40, 50 or so extra pounds and can blame it all on the baby!!!!
Best part I get to hold a baby in 5 long months!!!!!!

Pregnancy and I may not be best of friends but the end reward is so worth it! As I sit here right now I am watching my 2 year old jump and dance and play in the bath so happy! She makes my heart smile! Had I had my way this perfect angel would have never happened! I never wanted kids but knowing what I know now my life would have royally sucked with out her! I can not wait for poppy seed to get here so my life can get that much better!

Insert something witty here. . . .

2011-02-24T11:30:00.000-08:00

Today is a list kinda day with pics to break it up. . .

I am done having a headache! I think I will FINALLY call the Chiropractor! I don't like going to the doctor or dentist!
I want to plant a little garden! What am I thinking being pregnant and soon a new mom harvesting food!
I want to cloth diaper this baby and have gotten absolutely no support from anyone! They all tell me I am crazy!

I love these two!
Jay is gone and I don't sleep well with out him!
I just had one of the most amazing weekends in AR thanks to Dave and Lisa Franks! They spoiled me soooo much! Plus they love Lindsey as much as I do!
If you love my baby I automatically love you! If you are even a tad mean to my baby I wanna meet you in a dark ally!

I am watching "The Talk" and let me tell ya it sucks!
I tried Bible Study Fellowship and have decided that it is not for me! The lessons are great but the rest is not my cup of tea.
I am starting a new bible study at my church and I am super excited!

Lindsey is so proud of her painted toes!
She has the most jacked up feet and I love them! I hope they stay like that! They are my favorite part of her!
I am discovering my purpose and I am soooo excited! Who I am now is not who I thought I would be 10 years ago!
I am so much better than I dreamed I could be!

My sweet friend Kristina made this shirt for Lindsey! I can not wait to find out what we are having so she can make a matching onesie! Check out her stuff and buy from her like crazy! She is so incredibly talented!
I am so ready for this baby to get here! I just want to hold a little one for hours and hours and hours!
This time around will be sweeter 'cause I will not be so anal!
If we have a little boy I pray that he looks just like his daddy! Jay was so cute as a little boy and even now he is not too hard on the eyes!
My brain is done. . . . Love ya'll

Irrational rationality!

2011-02-17T07:41:00.000-08:00

So apparently pregnancy and I do not mix! Last night I holed up in the bathroom crying because everything wrong with the day was all my fault! Apparently I made the wind blow too hard, Lindsey wouldn't eat dinner, Jay had a bad day, I looked like a grandma, the laundry was not done, the house was a mess, ect!!! Poor Jay had a crying 2 year old in the living room and a crying wife in the bathroom! I am not too sure he is going to survive this pregnancy! He barely survived the last! To make matters worse we went to Life Group last night and the sweet couple in our Life Group would not let me wallow in self pity! Don't they realize I am pregnant and I have a free pass to wallow! I guess they missed that memo! I have 6 months left to go and then I can stop prefacing all my conversations with I am not rational right now! Lord, please help me!!!