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<title>The Electrogarden Music Network - Blog Feeds</title>
<description>The Electrogarden Music Network - a list of 20 most recent Blogs</description>
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<link>http://www.electrogarden.com/music/egn</link>
<lastBuildDate>Mon, 09 Nov 2009 07:25:53 GMT</lastBuildDate>
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<title>The Electrogarden Music Network</title>
<link>http://www.electrogarden.com/music/egn</link>
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  <title>HOW WE BALLIN  by pureflowz</title>
  <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheElectrogardenMusicNetwork-BlogFeeds/~3/iH44jbvXJus/music.php</link>
  <description>This is the official street release from the new mixtape by pure flowz. The mixtape is set for release late december 2009.  You can see the video on Youtube by searching pure flowz &lt;img src="http://www.electrogarden.com/music/egn/images/smilies/face-grin.png" border="0" style="vertical-align:middle;" alt=":D" title=":D"&gt;  &lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
   
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  <title>J Bostron - Sound Burial - 2 part mix 2009 by JBostron</title>
  <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheElectrogardenMusicNetwork-BlogFeeds/~3/TocY06DpsuY/music.php</link>
  <description>&lt;b&gt;J Bostron - Sound Burial&lt;/b&gt;

&lt;a href="http://nsf.dnb-music.com/jbostron/J_BOSTRON_-_SOUND_BURIAL_Pt_1.mp3" target="_blank"&gt;&lt;span class="bb_url"&gt;&lt;img src="http://nsf.dnb-music.com/jbostron/sound%20burial%20CD%201%20front.jpg" alt="img" title="img" /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;a href="http://nsf.dnb-music.com/jbostron/J_BOSTRON_-_SOUND_BURIAL_Pt_1.mp3" target="_blank"&gt;&lt;span class="bb_url"&gt;&lt;img src="http://nsf.dnb-music.com/jbostron/sound%20burial%20CD%201%20back.jpg" alt="img" title="img" /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/a&gt;

Part 1 Download:
http://nsf.dnb-music.com/jbostron/J_BOSTRON_-_SOUND_BURIAL_Pt_1.mp3

00. Intro
01. Dub Liner - Serial Killa (Bludclot LP dub)
02. Diamond Geezer - Top Rankin (dub)
03. Paulie Walnuts &amp; Twinhooker - Again Again (Mad Dem)
04. Unknown - White
05. Wobble T - Soundbwoy (Step Express)
06. J Bostron - No Matter (dub)
07. Kieran Jay - Dub With a Smile (dub)
08. Badweed vs Joey Fever - Youts Dem Rise (dub)
09. J Bostron - One Love (dub)
10. 4 Corners Crew - Beautiful Girl (RCola VIP) (JungleX)
11. J Bostron ft. Shinehead - I Do Love You (Jungle Riddim Special) (Jungle Riddim)
12. J Bostron - Say Who (Sound Solution 004 LP)
13. Psychofreud - Youre Gonna Need Me (dub)
14. J Bostron - Yuh Culture (dub)
15. Babylon Demolitionist - Khaki Suit Remix (dub)
16. HoT - Ring Di Alarm (Baddog Jungle 002)
17. MIR Crew vs Kultiration - Dekorate the Dance (Dutty Rock dub)
18. Isaac Maya - Lover (dub)
19. Kieran Jay - Dub You Can Feel (dub)
20. J Bostron - Thank You (dub)
21. DJ K - Bass 2 Dark Remix (Dub Chamber 006)
22. Isaac Maya - Natural (Audio Bullet D002)
23. Kontest - Oh Jungle (dub)


&lt;b&gt;J Bostron - Sound Burial - part 2&lt;/b&gt;

&lt;a href="http://nsf.dnb-music.com/jbostron/J_BOSTRON_-_SOUND_BURIAL_Pt_2.mp3" target="_blank"&gt;&lt;span class="bb_url"&gt;&lt;img src="http://nsf.dnb-music.com/jbostron/sound%20burial%20CD%202%20front.jpg" alt="img" title="img" /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;a href="http://nsf.dnb-music.com/jbostron/J_BOSTRON_-_SOUND_BURIAL_Pt_2.mp3" target="_blank"&gt;&lt;span class="bb_url"&gt;&lt;img src="http://nsf.dnb-music.com/jbostron/sound%20burial%20CD%202%20back.jpg" alt="img" title="img" /&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/a&gt;

Part 2 Download:
http://nsf.dnb-music.com/jbostron/J_BOSTRON_-_SOUND_BURIAL_Pt_2.mp3

01. Highgrade - Sound Burial Ft. Dread MC (Smokin Riddims)
02. DJ Dose - Bumbaclart (PA004)
03. MIR CREW - Nah Follow Dem (dub)
04. DJ Dose &amp; D-Tox - Rat Bastard (Junction 11 005)
05. Zap &amp; Alpine Dub - Ghost Tales (dub)
06. Shifta - Down The Barrel (Smokin Riddims)
07. J Bostron - On My Mind (dub)
08. Spaow - Land of the Cyclops (SYST010)
09. Locked &amp; Erbalist - Shouldnt War With We VIP (dub)
10. Dub Zero - It Never Ends (RB006)
11. Crystal Clear vs Cabbie - Street Hawk (Ganja)
12. J Bostron - Alone Again (dub)
13. Northen Lights - Hell On Earth (Muzik Hertz)
14. Poolse - Marinaa
15. Big Wayne - Ms Officer - Caps VIP (CAPSINC 001)
16. J Bostron &amp; Beretta - The Count (dub)
17. DJ Rowney ft. Logic - We Don't Ramp VIP (Motion Sensor dub)
18. Taxman - Sleeze (Propaganda)
19. Complex - Order of the Triad (Dirty Needle dub)
20. Yellow Bastard - Welcome 2 War (dub)
21. Kre - Nemisis (Sound Solution 004 LP)
22. J Bostron &amp; Beretta - Hostile (dub)


http://myspace.com/djbostron
http://myspace.com/onefootskankin
http://myspace.com/baddogjungle
http://jbostron.blogspot.com

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  <title>Tool Juggling by The Daylight Complex</title>
  <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheElectrogardenMusicNetwork-BlogFeeds/~3/ikNoxBp9I58/music.php</link>
  <description>Got my copy of &lt;a href="http://www.propellerheads.se/products/record/" target="_blank"&gt;Propellerhead Record&lt;/a&gt;. It will be an interesting experience having to use a hardware dongle, though it does have the advantage of allowing me to install Record anywhere I want. On the other hand, Logic has that flexibility without needing a dongle.

One of the reasons I have not upgraded from Ableton Live 6 is the two-computer installation limit, which was too restrictive for my purposes. The newly announced &lt;a href="http://www.novationmusic.com/products/midi_controller/launchpad" target="_blank"&gt; Novation Launchpad&lt;/a&gt; may persuade me to try using Live again. &lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
   
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  <title>Rise... by stykfaktor</title>
  <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheElectrogardenMusicNetwork-BlogFeeds/~3/KtueRakA8pc/music.php</link>
  <description>So..after a 5 year hiatus...I am back. New cd coming this fall with about 12 tracks. I've uploaded a cover song that will be on the album as well. 

Rehearsing new band members as I type this. 

So...we'll see how this goes...again &lt;img src="http://www.electrogarden.com/music/egn/images/smilies/face-smile.png" border="0" style="vertical-align:middle;" alt=":)" title=":)"&gt;

Looking forward to getting back in touch with some people as well so shoot me a message.&lt;img src="http://www.electrogarden.com/music/egn/images/smilies/face-smile.png" border="0" style="vertical-align:middle;" alt=":)" title=":)"&gt;

Styk &lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
   
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  <title>Phone home by MorganStark</title>
  <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheElectrogardenMusicNetwork-BlogFeeds/~3/aj1w9geTQ-E/music.php</link>
  <description>My mom called last night because she said I hadn't called her in a couple weeks and wondered why.  I told her I'd been busy, but that wasn't true, it was because of the phone.

The old phone that I got rid of last month had issues and a mind of its own.  When I would use the voice activated dialing function things got really interesting, let me give you an example.  

One day I'm in SEARS. I say to the phone "Dial Layna" (my niece), the phone respond with "dialing mother." I shout "No, no , dial Layna." 
The phone: "Did you say dial mother?" 
Me: "No I did not!."
Phone: "You need to speak slowly."
Me: "Don't tell me how to speak...telephone."
Customers in SEARS are starting to look at me suspiciously. A little embarrassed I think I’ll try my nephew and I say softly to the phone "Dial Timothy."
A little girl watching me says to her mother "Mommy, that man is talking to his telephone."
Her mother: "No sweetie, he's talking on the phone."
"No mommy to the phone, look."
The Phone: "Did you say dial timothy?" 
Me: "yes."  
The Phone: "Dailing mother." 
I lose it, "DAMMIT! I DID NOT TELL YOU TO DIAL MOTHER! DIAL TIMOTHY!"
Phone: "Did you say dial mother?" 
Me: "NO!" 
The Phone (with attitude) "YOU NEED TO SPEAK CLEARLY!" 
Me: "Excuse me but I've had people from Italy, Germany and France tell me that I speak clear EXCELLENT English, and they have learned English by just listening to me speak. So don't you tell me I need to speak clearly TELEPHONE! You just dial Layna, Timothy, whoever, just dial who I tell you to dial!”
I look up and the woman and her child are staring dead in my face, I look back and ask (with attitude) "CAN I HELP YOU? WHY ARE YOU UP IN MY BUSINESS?" 
The mother hustles her child off "Come on baby, let's get away from the strange man."

I turn my attention back to the phone."Dial Layna."
Phone: "Did you say dial Layna?"
Me: "Yes"
Phone: "Dialing mother."
Me: "NO, NO, NO!"
Then there is mom on the phone. "Hi Morgie, what's up?"
Me: "Nothing mom, I was just calling to see how you were doing."
Mom: "I'm fine, just like I was when you called a couple hours ago."  
I didn't have the heart to tell her that I did not intentionally call her a couple hours ago, I didn't even call her this time, the phone called her.

When my mom called me last night she said she hadn't heard from me in a couple of weeks. I brought the new phone a couple weeks ago and it dials who I tell it to dial. Now I realize that though I hated my old phone, it did make sure I called my mother on a regular basis.
 &lt;img src="http://www.electrogarden.com/music/egn/images/smilies/face-sad.png" border="0" style="vertical-align:middle;" alt=":(" title=":("&gt;  &lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
   
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  <title>My clunking phone by MorganStark</title>
  <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheElectrogardenMusicNetwork-BlogFeeds/~3/aj1w9geTQ-E/music.php</link>
  <description>Is it me or are comedians, singers and actors missing out on a big opportunity with the stimulus’ popular “Cash For Clunkers” program?  Maybe I’m not watching the right TV shows or listening to the right radio stations, but I have not heard one clunker joke.  Back in the day comedians, singing and televisions stars would be milking Cash For Clunkers for all it’s worth.  Just imagine the things you’d hear:

George Clinton &amp; Parliament Funkadelic: “We got the clunk, gotta have that clunk, awww clunk me”
Rodney Dangerfield: “Clunk my wife……please!”
Joe Tex “Aint gonna clunk no mo’ with no big fat woman”
Phyllis Diller: “My husband Fang was as drunk as a clunk, ha, ha, ha ha, ha”
Frank Sinatra: “Clunkers in the night”
Clint Eastwood: “You've got to ask yourself one question, 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya clunk?
Bette Davis: "What a clunk."

You and I normal folks would be running around saying “Go clunk yourself” or “Well I’ll be clunked, ” or "I don't give a clunk."

What’s happen to USA pop culture? Have we lost our amazing ability to make humour out of anything and everything? Maybe the recession has us all clunked out.

Well, I just had to get that out of my system and my mind off the phone and downloading which has really put me in a depressing clunk. Now i'm not feeling so hot, so don't clunk with me.
   &lt;img src="http://www.electrogarden.com/music/egn/images/smilies/face-smile.png" border="0" style="vertical-align:middle;" alt=":)" title=":)"&gt;  &lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
   
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  <title>Hold the phone by MorganStark</title>
  <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheElectrogardenMusicNetwork-BlogFeeds/~3/aj1w9geTQ-E/music.php</link>
  <description>Did I say downloading music into my phone was going to be fun? Hah! I was wrong. It's about as much fun as....well...watching paint dry. It's boring. My phone can hold 300 songs, so far i've downloaded 20-25.  The problem is i'm not downloading entire albums, i'm picking and choosing indiviual songs. The other problem is some tunes have the artist name and songtitle embedded within the track, no problem there, but others (many) do not, so I have to add that info which takes a few seconds to do, but those seconds add up to minutes.

This is one of those projects that I could put an ad in the "Help Wanted" classifies for: 
"Help Wanted-Part Time Temporary Position to download selected music tracks from exhaustive CD collection into cell phone. No exprience required. Must be computer literate and able to read, write and spell. Pay: none. Benefits: none. background check will be required."

When I started this I was trying to decide whether I wanted to mix up a variety of music or stick to a genre. I decided to go all Italo (so much for variety).  So far I loaded "All Of Me (Boy oh Boy)," "Don't Lose Your Heart," "Rainy Day," and other Italo classics.  I choose Italo because I don't have to pay attention to it and it contains infectious melodies that get stuck in your head, that you can hum along to making it' the perfect commuting to work on the subway music.  &lt;img src="http://www.electrogarden.com/music/egn/images/smilies/face-surprise.png" border="0" style="vertical-align:middle;" alt=":o" title=":o"&gt;  &lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
   
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  <title>silence in the night by d27m</title>
  <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheElectrogardenMusicNetwork-BlogFeeds/~3/5hFDLkq1jCU/music.php</link>
  <description>you can listen and download the first single of d27m  (silence in the night / my secret garden )on amazon  or itunes of your country
more infos on www.d27m.com &lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
   
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  <title>Phone It In by MorganStark</title>
  <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheElectrogardenMusicNetwork-BlogFeeds/~3/aj1w9geTQ-E/music.php</link>
  <description>Though I had the function I never logged on to the Web with my old phone. So I just brought a new phone that cannot access the Web but can download hundres of songs. Now, the problem is should I download a variety or stick to genres like synth-pop, Italo, country, eurodance? Decisions, decisions.

I going to start downloading tunes tomorrow (Saturday). I'll just start and see what developes, but i'm leaning towards all Italo, Modern Talking, Bad Boys Blue, Plazma, T.M.-Joy, Systems In Blue, Fresh Fox and selections from the ZYX Italo Disco Collection series.

Whatever I decide I can see already that this is going to be FUN!  &lt;img src="http://www.electrogarden.com/music/egn/images/smilies/face-grin.png" border="0" style="vertical-align:middle;" alt=":D" title=":D"&gt;  &lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
   
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  <title>Album finally released by Kult of red pyramid</title>
  <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheElectrogardenMusicNetwork-BlogFeeds/~3/F0ycepaU_BI/music.php</link>
  <description>Preview/buy the album here:

http://indiestore.7digital.com/kultofredpyramid/ &lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
   
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  <title>'THE FINAL FALL' working and polishing by Kult of red pyramid</title>
  <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheElectrogardenMusicNetwork-BlogFeeds/~3/F0ycepaU_BI/music.php</link>
  <description>Next week more tracks are to be recorded for the first exclusively 'K.O.R.P.' album. It's a lot different than 'RED EYED...' album, judging by how 'CLOSURE' sounds.

As for 'HARSH DIGITAL', the techno industrial album by 'ALEXANDER KULT', it's almost finished. 10 tracks are recorded and ready for polishing. Until new tracks are uploaded, listen to 'TRAPPED" !   &lt;img src="http://www.electrogarden.com/music/egn/images/smilies/face-devil-grin.png" border="0" style="vertical-align:middle;" alt=":devil:" title=":devil:"&gt;  &lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
   
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  <title>Allcingeye by allcingeye</title>
  <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheElectrogardenMusicNetwork-BlogFeeds/~3/GQQ-Y-U7esk/music.php</link>
  <description>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1vEu1h_yyc &lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
   
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  <title>internal flights by internal flights</title>
  <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheElectrogardenMusicNetwork-BlogFeeds/~3/kSwee4nuYSY/music.php</link>
  <description>internal flights &lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
   internal flights
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  <title>New CD Available NOW by Empty</title>
  <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheElectrogardenMusicNetwork-BlogFeeds/~3/HPbGv257DV0/music.php</link>
  <description>We are proud to announce the launch of our latest release: "Never Get To You". Buy NOW through the &lt;a target="_blank" href="http://store.aphoticaudio.com"&gt;Aphotic Audio Online Store&lt;/a&gt;.
&lt;br /&gt;
If you prefer to download the tracks, ShallowNation.net is offering an exclusive digital MP3 download of the release through the shop on their new website: &lt;a target="_blank" href="http://www.shallownation.net"&gt;www.shallownation.net&lt;/a&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href="http://www.emptyoffline.com/?mod=discog&amp;amp;amp;release=ngty"&gt;&lt;img border="0" width="175" height="175" alt="" src="http://www.emptyoffline.com/images/releases/ngty.cover.png" /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;Never Get To You sculpts the beginning of a new era for Empty, highlighting new sounds from the upcoming album through the fusion of Electronic-Industrial with elements of Glitch and pulsing electronics overlaid with vast, sweeping soundscapes.
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;Featuring two new tracks, plus a cover of the cult classic "King of Kings" by The Models alongside remixes by &lt;a href="http://www.dismantled.org/"&gt;Dismantled&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href="http://www.angeltheory.com/"&gt;ANGELTHEORY&lt;/a&gt;, &lt;a href="http://www.myspace.com/posthumanproductions"&gt;Pask&lt;/a&gt; and &lt;a href="http://www.iammynewt.com/"&gt;iammynewt&lt;/a&gt;.
&lt;br /&gt;
&lt;br /&gt;-Empty &lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
   
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  <title>My Star Power, Obscured by Inertia by The Daylight Complex</title>
  <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheElectrogardenMusicNetwork-BlogFeeds/~3/ikNoxBp9I58/music.php</link>
  <description>The pleasure of being a musician for me has always come from the composing and arranging of songs. Recording is such a chore (it probably doesn’t help that I do pretty much everything by myself these days, music-wise).

In an effort to counteract this imbalance and get some finished product out into the world, later this month I will be recording in a pro studio-like environment for the first time in my life. Making the recording process as much of an adventure as the writing process seemed the best way to proceed. I hope the results match my anticipation. &lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
   
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  <title>ordinary by Xxdeath_girlxX</title>
  <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheElectrogardenMusicNetwork-BlogFeeds/~3/E5TCbHaoByo/music.php</link>
  <description>everyday i walk through the halls in my school alone.i have freinds and allbut none who have classes with me so i get laughed at and made fun of becaause im me. well i dont care what they say because i love the way i am i am perfect the way i am!! so they can just deal with itsoi love the color black so i wearabunch of black makeup so i dont care what u think. i am me so yeah and thats perfectly ordinary. &lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
   
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  <title>Get your signed copy by A Blue Ocean Dream</title>
  <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheElectrogardenMusicNetwork-BlogFeeds/~3/giIwdtdqXpQ/music.php</link>
  <description>You can buy a signed / autograhped copy of the latest album "Father to son" at A Different drum.
ADD is the only place to find this exclusive version of the new blue ocean dream cdr. &lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
   
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  <title>Progress Report Number 86 by Rob Astor</title>
  <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheElectrogardenMusicNetwork-BlogFeeds/~3/F1vOo_tlF_s/music.php</link>
  <description>I’m a writer.  A writer must always write.  Although it may not seem much writing comes from me these days, the complete opposite is true.  There’s a detailed journal to keep, where thoughts and memories can be reviewed.  A place to sort of connect to when the mind gets so cluttered and fatigued.

Remember the last report?  My biggest hope was that all the bad stuff in my life would end with 2008.  Unfortunately, it didn’t.  Tonight, I feel compelled to write.  I don’t know why.  There’s some perspective I need to find.  Some answer or something just out of my reach.  Maybe I need a fresh perspective and I’m searching for it by writing.  Whatever the reason, I need to write about the ups and the downs of the last six weeks or so.

As of my last progress report, my grandmother was still in rehab.  The facility had an outbreak of a flu virus late in December making the recovery efforts grind to a halt.  I was waiting for that to clear in the hopes things would get back on track.  She had been doing exercises to a certain extent and we’d had her up and walking on a walker three times.  Trouble is, she would only do this with me.  You see, we share this really special connection.  We’ve always been close.  She doesn’t respond to anyone else.  It’s not necessarily a bad thing, just tricky at times.  It’s a bond I’ve always cherished.  Believe me, I know how truly lucky and blessed I am to have had her in my life for forty years.  It was fated, I’m sure, that I should be her guardian and caretaker.

As the wait for the flu to pass at the start of the year went on, I focused on setting up a page at Soundtrack.MTV.com.  If you wish to find me over there, I uploaded twenty-five tracks.  Please don’t ask which ones because I really don’t remember at the minute.  I haven’t had a chance to get back there.  You see, the bad stuff from 2008 came back on the night of the first of January.

The name of the rehab center in question is Countryside, here in this town where I live.  They called to tell me they were concerned because grandma had been unresponsive most of the day.  They were also concerned about dehydration.  The nurse was giving her water with an eye dropper and her oxygen level was low.  Basically, they were going to watch her closely and then call me if things got worse.  Keep in mind, it had been week where Countryside was under quarantine.

Five A.M. January the second, I get a call from Countryside.  I’m not even alive at that time of day.  Grandma’s oxygen level was very low and she needed to go to the emergency room.  Not knowing how long she would stay at the hospital, I went out and packed up her things so I wouldn’t have to worry later.  At the emergency room, I was told her oxygen level was fine.  Someone at Countryside either didn’t know how to read the machine right, or, it was connected incorrectly.  However, they were keeping her because of severe dehydration, a urinary tract infection, and bedsores.  Her lips were chapped so badly, the top layers of skin had to be removed.  The inside of her mouth and throat was so dry, the top layers of skin came off.

Well, I didn’t want her going back there.  She couldn’t come home because I couldn’t lift her around as much as she would need to get in and out of bed and so forth.  I made the very hard decision of having to get her into another rehab center so she could at least have a few more weeks of therapy.  She was admitted to a place called Heartland on January the ninth.

Feeling a bit more optimistic, I was hoping life would soon get back to normal, or at least closer to normal.  My quarterly statement from ASCAP came on that day.  I was thrilled to learn parts of two of my tracks had been used in a History Channel program called “Come Fly With Me”, and part of another appeared in a History Channel program called “Miracle On Ice”.  Filled with a sense of accomplishment and confidence, I contact Long Ridge Writers Group, the school I’ve been enrolled in since 2005, to set a deadline for my next assignment.  I guessed that the middle of February would be enough time to get something written.  I also contacted the State Of Michigan and filed a formal complaint about what had happened to my grandma at Countryside.  Of course, I also needed to send royalty payments out for the five cover tracks I’ve recorded and released.  So, there was a day where I did a lot of busy work.  Being busy helps to focus your energy and it certainly gives me a sense of purpose, no matter how much I complain about it.  (It just takes too long!)  However, life threw me another curve ball.

On January the fourteenth, I got a call from Heartland that grandma was bleeding down below and they didn’t know where it was coming from.  She was taken to the E. R. once again.  And, this time, things looked really grim.  The bleeding wasn’t vaginal.  She was going to have to have a colonoscopy.  She was loosing blood as fast as they were putting it back into her.  One of the doctors that night, while I was all alone, told me she thought it was sepses and that this is something she sees when people are near the end.  I had a breakdown moment there in-between making a ton of telephone calls.

Very early the next morning, my mom and my younger sister were present as the procedure took place.  Grandma had a bleeding ulcer that had to be cauterized.  The surgeon told my sister that there was a chance my grandma wouldn’t survive this admission.

So, what do you do when you’re faced with mortality?  With something you know you have no control over.  Something you can’t help when you feel so helpless.  I couldn’t do anything at all.  It was like being paralyzed.  I went around in a daze that day, praying and staying by her side, reminding her of parts of our lives we have shared, crying and pleading.  We have so much more to share and so many family members who need her.  I wanted someone, anyone at all, to tell me she was going to get through this and that she was going to be okay.  I wasn’t ready for her to be gone from my life and for everything to fade into distant, ghostly memories.  It’s the most hallow and terrible feeling to feel as if you’re all alone and blowing around like a leaf in the wind with no control over any event in your life.  This day was the hardest moment of my life.  I was willing to give up anything and everything to keep her alive and get her back to good health.  That’s what I did when I was faced with mortality.

Late that afternoon, the doctor came in and said grandma was doing well.  The bleeding had stopped and he hoped to get her back on more solid foods the next day.  The issue of her mouth and throat from before, she didn’t want to eat because I’m sure it caused a lot of pain.  I had been bringing her soups to drink, just to get anything into her.  I left the hospital that day feeling much more optimistic.  Grandma was going to get well and she would come back home.

Another curve came on a day when I had another ton of paperwork to take care of.  I had to go to the social security office to give them copies of the court papers that had made me my grandma’s guardian and conservator.  I asked the court back in September if I needed to contact them and the court said I didn’t.  Never believe anything, I tell you!  Never stop asking questions.  So, I sat in a long line with the papers to make sure that grandma’s income wasn’t suddenly cut off.  Without it, there’s no money to pay the mortgage.  Then, we would have no home.  (I’m one of those musicians who’s got the starving artist part down pat!)  This was also a day filled with filing taxes.  Talk about unwanted headaches.  They never end.

On Saturday January the twenty-fourth, one of my grandfather’s birthdays of all days, I woke at eleven in the morning when my watch beeped.  I got up to go to the bathroom and the phone rang.  I figured whomever it was could wait just long enough for me to get down a cup of coffee.  Warm mug in had, I sat down to watch TV for a few minutes.  I looked over at the clock.  All of a sudden, it was 1:30 in the afternoon.  Maybe this doesn’t sound so strange to you, however, I was completely thrown.  I had not been up for that long.  Thirty minutes max!  I even still felt groggy.  There was no way I had been awake that long already.

Trying to ground myself, I realized my coffee was still warm.  I don’t seem to recall the programs on TV going by all that fast, not that I was paying that close of attention.  But, it was really weird.  I had an instance of missing time I cannot explain.  Downing my coffee, I returned the phone call and checked my e-mail really quick.  Another curve ball.  I’d entered the Writer’s Weekly contest for winter and completely forgot about it.  The contest is a twenty-four hour thing where you are sent a topic and then you write a short story.  You have twenty-four hours in which to finish it.  I managed to get one hammered out in about two and a half hours.  Considering all that’s been going on and the missing time thing, it was a feat unto itself for me to do that.  Later that night, my mom told me about a casting call for extras in a Hillary Swank movie to be filmed here in mid-Michigan.  The day to show up was Wednesday afternoon.  On a whim, I decided I would go over with her and my brother.  I even went to the trouble of putting together a sample CD of some of my best music.

Inspiration for music began coming back.  I started working on an Acoustic Guitar track called “Arcturus Camelopardalis”.  (Arcturus in the brightest star in the constellation Bootes.  Camelopardalis is a constellation.  The names sounded good together to me.)  The track began with two variations.  Another piece of music I began working on is a really heavy rock track called “Orion Quinn”.  (For those who don’t know, Orion is also a constellation.)  “Orion Quinn” flowed better for some reason.  One of the creative tricks I used was to break the music up and create a series of pauses where heavy parts come back with more power and impact.  It also creates a unique flow in a bridge section.  It’s very different than some of the Techno Rock video game inspired stuff I’ve recorded in the past.  The track is certainly video game-like material, but, there’s really a lot more to it.  It’s almost like taking the best of all my Rock tracks and putting them together in a melting pot where everything simmered and came out perfectly.  The project these new pieces of music are for is tentatively entitled DREAMS OF XACK KYDD.  It’s a concept idea of musical ideas revolving around my favored fictional character.  It’s like taking a look at his future world and some of the things in it, but, taking the glimpses through music.  For example, “Orion Quinn” stands in for a future comic book character Xack happens to like.

On the Wednesday of the casting call, my mom, my brother and I went over to stand in a really long line.  Fortunately, we were closer to the front than most people.  It was cold outside, to the tune of sub zero wind chill factors.  Once inside, we filled out a page with basic information like name, address, clothing size, kind of car you drive.  There was a spot to list any experience you have.  So, I listed my musical and writing accomplishments.  Then, we got into another line where we waited as all of this was put into the computer system.  Lastly, we had two pictures taken.  One was a close-up head shot.  The second more of a full body shot.

The movie requires prison extras for various scenes, like in the court room.  They wanted big guys with tattoos.  For one of my pictures, I was able to roll up my sleeve and show off my Ann Wilson signature.  I passed the CD to the photographer with the written page and told them it goes with what was on the back.  My brother, thin as a rail, was wearing a black vest and long black leather trench coat and small dark glasses.  (I told him he looked like the king of the ‘hood.  LOL  Later, he got all Miss Priss on me!)  He was told he had a good look going and they took a picture of him with and without the sunglasses.  It would be neat if he got a part.

So, I had a short break from reality.  Now, it was just a few days before grandma was coming home.  I made I don’t know how many calls to get as much help as I could.  There are certain things I can’t do myself with her until she can walk, at least with a walker.  Heartland secured getting a smaller wheelchair.  (We have a lot of narrow spots in the house.)  She was able to get help with a place called Region 2 that helps seniors.  They brought in a lift chair and hospital bed.  I also asked them to help with property taxes which are in the rears.  (We’re dirt poor as dirt poor gets around here and I’m surprised sometimes how we ever manage.  There just isn’t enough money to keep up.)  They also contacted a place called Care One.  An aid comes in every day to help me out.

Grandma came home just over a week ago.  She has been responding much better; eating cooking she’s used to.  She stays awake longer.  She’s in a much better mood.  The first few days were hectic, none the less.  Getting settled into a new routine is happening and I can restructure in order to get things accomplished.  That’s why I’m writing this blog so late.  And, I don’t know if I’ll meet that deadline I’d set for myself for Long Ridge back in January for mid-February.  I have had so much paperwork and worry.

Well, I was confident Region 2 could help with taxes.  In that confidence, I began working on another new piece of music called “Holographic Crystals”.  It’s something just taking shape.  Returning to “Arcturus Camelopardalis”, I took a cue from past pieces of music where all I needed to do was simplify a few parts.  When I allowed instruments to come out in different parts of the mainly Acoustic Guitar track instead of everything playing all at once, everything else sort of fell into place as far as the structure of the track.  Harry said it’s beautiful!

Trying to keep confident that I can still have a musical career at some point (in those very dark hours, I was ready to give up on everything and let myself slip into oblivion), I made up a batch of CDs to send of to the Hearts Of Space radio show for possible airplay consideration.  The same set I also made up for a MySpace friend in Germany who does a radio show called “Atmospheres”.

Hitt Music Group sent me a note on MySpace about using music in a film.  I called them to learn they are a go between for artists and people looking for music.  I have no idea of their track record, but, I can’t afford the yearly membership fee.  My heart says to try and raise the money and go for it while my brain says you can’t afford it and, even if you had the money, you could use it for better things.  So, I’m caught between these self-conflicting sides.  Remember?  I said dirt poor before.  I’m really not joking about that.  There have been so many times in my life when all I needed was a lifeline.  Everything is always just out of my reach.  I never know why.  (Actually, it’s that I never picked the right six lottery numbers!  ;-)  )

The last thing to blindside me this week was that Region 2 can’t help with the taxes.  That creates a real bind.  Grandma just gets home.  She’s starting to make progress to recovery, and we have the threat of loosing our home hanging over us once again.  What would happen to her?  If she went back to a nursing home, she would give up, as I suspect she was doing, and eventually be gone.  What would happen to me?  I don’t know the answers, but I do know one more blow and I won’t be able to bear the weight any longer.  It’s been six weeks of hell to put it mildly.  There are so many things I didn’t write about.  Emotions, thoughts, how this has affected my family.  Even the prospect of having a Census job once again.  (I was a crew leader in 2000.)  This blog is just an overview.  A way for me to try and make some sense of everything.

Here’s where I am.  I’m caught between the worry of basic survival and the creative side of me that could be extinguished forever, leaving me empty and slowly dying on the inside.  It’s at this point in my life where I no longer no where to go.  Which way to turn.  Who to reach out to.  Everything looks bleak.  I’ve had a headache for several days.  I feel like every time something goes right, a super huge wrong something just has to come along to destroy it all.  Is this a mid-life crisis?  I never had one.  Maybe it’s my time?  What forces in this universe seem to have it in for me?  I wish I knew some magic spell, some secret prayer to put things right, just to get back to some semblance of normalcy.  I find no answers.

Much like before, I don’t know when I’ll write a blog again.  I hope to have much better news.  I haven’t been myself in such a long time.  You can tell.  This has to be the most depressing blog I’ve ever written.  Maybe it makes me seem more human.  Just when I thought I was getting back in touch with my creative spark, all of this other crap is heaped upon me.  We all have problems, I know.  One crisis after another.  We keep picking up and moving on.  Maybe there’s advice to be found from some of you out there reading these words.  I’m all ears.  Tonight, I needed to cleanse my spirit by writing.

I’ll return soon, hopefully with better news.  Until then, take care, be safe, and keep in mind always what is the most important in your life.

Rob &lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
   
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  <title>The Dangers of Under-Stimulation in the Bedroom Studio by The Daylight Complex</title>
  <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheElectrogardenMusicNetwork-BlogFeeds/~3/ikNoxBp9I58/music.php</link>
  <description>Grab a small notebook and a portable music playback device loaded with your unfinished songs. Distract your vagus nerve with an exploratory walk through the streets of your neighborhood. Sing nonsense under your breath in time to the music until likely phrases emerge. Write these phrases in your notebook (did you remember a pen?). Do not make eye contact with passerby. 

During cold weather months, a coat with multiple pockets can be a handy way to protect yourself from the elements and store small objects.

Pro Tip: When you return home to your computer screens and electronic equipment, begin crying. Your body should be wracked with shuddering sobs, and huge tears will roll down your cheeks. Your face is unrecognizable as you switch on your webcam. &lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
   
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  <title>If You’re a Hammer, the Songs Look Like Nails by The Daylight Complex</title>
  <link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheElectrogardenMusicNetwork-BlogFeeds/~3/ikNoxBp9I58/music.php</link>
  <description>Despite the many music tools I have at my disposal, I keep returning to Reason. I can’t decide if I’m retreating or rallying. Reason is comfortable, and I don’t trust comfort anymore. &lt;br/&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
   
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