The Eloquent Woman: A blog on women and public speaking

TED 2010 speakers announced

2009-12-22T19:33:00.006-05:00

Speakers for the widely watched TED (short for technology, education, design) 2010 conference have been announced. TED brings inspiring, creative speakers with "ideas worth spreading" from around the world to the conference, sold out months in advance--then posts video, transcripts and translations of their talks year-round on its excellent website, TED.com.

I'm disappointed that women make up just under 25 percent of the 40 speakers named so far, although the women presenting include a great array of talent. They are:

Marian Bantjes, designer, illustrator and typographer
Sheryl Crow, singer, songwriter and activist
Esther Duflo, development economist
Eve Ensler, playwright and activist
Cheryl Hayashi, a biologist who studies spider silk
Jane McGonigal, game designer
Natalie Merchant, singer and songwriter
Elizabeth Pisani, epidemiologist
Sarah Silverman, comedian

TED.com offers any speaker a wonderful learning opportunity. All the talks are limited in length and require speakers to speak without notes, but many use creative props or visuals, as well as their own performance skills. I'll be looking forward to hearing this new crop of TED talks coming soon.

Related posts: Learn storytelling online: 3 ways

Ann Medlock's "near-TED experience"

Become a fan of The Eloquent Woman on Facebook

Final exam: Speak at the mall

2009-12-22T13:30:00.004-05:00

You might expect a public speaking class to include a live presentation in front of your classmates. But at Adirondack Community College in New York state, public speaking students in Sean Mathews' class had to give their final speech at the mall--Aviation Mall in Queensberry, to be exact. According to this article, the 20 students took turns giving their presentations outside the mall's J.C. Penney store, and the location was part of the instructor's plan. From the article:

Mathews, an adjunct English professor, said he wanted students to speak in a public place. This was the first time he had used a mall.

"It's really the perfect challenge for this course," he said. "I want them to experience giving a speech out in public."

Students had to speak loudly enough to be heard over the ambient music and noise inside the mall. And they had to project to a larger audience.

Good reminders for beginner speakers: Make sure you work in a public presentation before you consider yourself "ready." Congratulations to this class for taking the plunge in a public place.

Spice up ordinary speaking tasks

2009-12-21T20:17:00.006-05:00

You've got to give a toast...cut a ribbon...thank all the event sponsors...introduce the speaker...make the "housekeeping" announcements...get people to sit down so the program can start. But don't make the mistake of treating these ordinary speaking tasks as plain-vanilla chores. Instead, use these ways to spice up your next speaking task:

Add some personal touches: One reason Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm made it to our list of today's top women speakers was her ability at this event to thank a lot of sponsors and partners with a personal touch--she made the crowd feel she knew each one, or wanted to meet them if she didn't know them. Don't just reel off those sponsor names: Add a short line about each one that comes from you, not from their press releases; if you're in a group where the sponsors are well-known, use their first names; or simply make the thank-you original and varied for each one ("We couldn't have done this without you, Jim...Sharon, your support means so much coming from a longtime member"). Keep it short but put a genuine, heartfelt touch into these remarks and they'll be even more appreciated.
Move into the audience: Grab a handheld microphone and walk around the luncheon tables to urge people to take their seats. Or walk around the crowd to make the housekeeping announcements, or to call attention to the sponsors' tables. You'll absolutely have the audience's attention when you're up close, and you'll add some visual spice to the speaking agenda.
Replace the ribbon and move that bus: If you have input into the event, suggest something new. At a ribbon-cutting, get the crowd involved by making a "ribbon" of people who'll be working at the new facility, with linked hands, or start a parade through the new door. Then use that as the cue for your remarks.
Use humor...with care and originality: Tempted to use humor? Be careful. Speakers often use humor to jazz up the ordinary speaking task--but keep in mind that jokes are among the toughest things for speakers to remember, and so may fall flat. Keep your humor task-oriented. For example, when making the housekeeping announcements--such as the order of events, or the date of the next committee meeting--plan a funny construct or comment you can work into each one. (I won't soon forget the long-ago flight attendant who, as we headed toward 30,000 feet in the air, announced that anyone found smoking in the non-smoking section would be asked to leave the plane immediately.)

An athlete decides to get a speaking coach

2009-12-21T09:03:00.007-05:00

Picture this: You're an Olympic medalist and world-champion sprinter whose moves on the track are fast, smooth and polished by years of long practice. And now you want a coach...for public speaking? That's what Olympian Lauryn Williams decided after participating in a ceremony where she and other athletes received awards for their public service. In her blog post, "I want to be like Nancy Lieberman when I grow up," Williams shares her nervousness about speaking:

Speaking has been the little demon in my closet for my whole career and despite me pumping myself up because I wanted to do well, Monday was no different. I was to give a 2-3 minute talk accepting my award and explaining what inspires me to give. Sounds easy enough right???? WRONG!!! ....I didn't know what I could say that was going to be as appealing to the crowd and I was the only female. I certainly couldn't be outdone by 3 guys!!

Then Nancy Lieberman, the first woman to play professional basketball--who played with men, because a women's league didn't exist at the time--stepped up to speak. Williams was inspired:

I am vowing to make my improvement in this area a focal point this year. It was really encouraging when once things were finished two women came to me and said, “Your speech was great! If you had not told us how nervous you were or that you were going to be quick you would have nailed it right on the head.” I know I have some work to do as my job will require me to speak and I am up to the challenge of fine tuning my delivery...

It's a great lesson for all would-be speakers to take from a top athlete: When you need to improve a skill, see a coach. I'm available for Lauryn, or for you and your colleagues. In 2009, stay tuned for new Eloquent Woman workshops and resources, or contact me at info[at]dontgetcaught[dot]biz to find out more about training and coaching. (Photo of Williams with young fans from her blog.)

Related posts: What to ask the trainer

A checklist to prepare the whole speaker

Can public speaking come naturally to you?

Memo to boss: 6 reasons I need training

Become a fan of The Eloquent Woman on Facebook

How to approach a tough topic: 5 ways

2009-12-14T20:18:00.006-05:00

You may not like to speak in public. You may fret over your delivery, voice, outfit, the lighting. Or perhaps you're a happy speaker, ever willing and comfortable. But when your topic or subject creates the difficulty, you're facing the great equalizer, the challenge that might thwart both the confident and the shy speaker.

And the definition of "tough topic" rests with you, the speaker. It may be tough for you personally--the eulogy of a parent who's died, or the toast to a child on her wedding day. It may be tough for you as a speaker, if you face a contentious topic or audience that might explode, or if you're especially nervous. Tough can be a momentary but pointed political debate, an argument impossible to win, your nerves about the topic, the circumstances of the day and more. So how to plan and prepare? Here are five ways to take the plunge:

Listen: If your audience is angry, taking sides or otherwise a tough crowd, engage them from the start by listening, rather than talking. Tell them you'll begin in a few minutes, but you want to hear right from the start from them. It may not disarm them completely, but it will help them vent--and help you get a better sense of where they stand. Then work their comments into your presentation. No need to answer things at this point. Just listen before you speak.

Acknowledge: It doesn't matter whether you agree or disagree with angry or contentious questioners or comments. Thank each audience member for sharing her views. Acknowledge that the situation he's describing is difficult, frustrating or a conundrum. In many cases, your tough crowd just wants to be recognized--and sure that you know how its members feel. Make sure they know you've heard them.

Emote: No need to hide your feelings if you are speaking to a topic fraught with them. Yes, you can cry, pause when you're overcome by emotion, or give a rousing cheer for an exciting development. And if someone says something preposterous, feel free to laugh--then explain why. But no need to bring your poker face.

Ask: You can use this tactic a couple of ways. I've coached speakers who had to address contentious crowds with conflicting goals and lots of political tripwires, and often, I'll suggest that the speaker simply state the contentious questions...without answering them. That's especially effective if the speaker won't be in a position to address all the issues completely, but wants to be sure to demonstrate an understanding of the issues. It's another form of acknowledging the crowd's issues. Another tactic: Open with the Q part of Q&A, letting the audience put their questions on the floor at the outset. You'll promise to either cover them in your prepared remarks, or return to the answers once your formal presentation is done.

Reflect: Add some perspective, and reflect aloud for your difficult audience or on a troublesome issue. Remind your listeners of similar problems that occurred long ago--especially if they sound eerily similar to today's issue, or if they demonstrate how much worse things were long ago. Talk about your own wrestling with a tough issue, so they understand more of your thinking. Or share a memory only you have, one that will help them see a new side of what you're describing. Finally, when faced with a question about what you'll do--one you can't answer today--tell the group you want to reflect on it before making a decision, and ask for their input on the spot.

Graceful ways with Q&A

Handling hecklers: How to do it

Become a fan of The Eloquent Woman on Facebook

Introverts' speaking style aids leadership?

2009-12-13T16:30:00.003-05:00

This Forbes article suggests that introverts make better leaders by playing to their strengths, rather than fighting them--and cites a lot of speaking skills to bolster its point:

By using a "think first, talk later" approach, introverts give themselves time to ponder, while appearing measured and thoughtful; this also gives subordinates a chance to contribute and can keep leaders from making mistakes by jumping in too fast.

They ask questions and take an in-depth approach to conversations, yielding more learning and understanding.

They appear calm, usually through anticipating issues, practicing what to say, and getting themselves in the right frame of mind before communicating.

So, even though introverts often find speaking exhausting, they can use their personality preferences to change their speaker presence, prepare better and keep the conversations moving.

The article notes that some 40 percent of leaders are introverts, and the author, in a separate article, reports:

In today’s extroverted business world, introverts can feel ignored, overlooked, and misunderstood. In fact, according to my research—a two-and-a-half year national study of introverted professionals—four out of five introverts say extroverts are more likely to get ahead in their workplace. What’s more, over 40 percent say they would like to change their introverted tendencies, but don’t know where or how to begin.

What do you introverts think? Share your tactics in the comments.

My hat's off to these bloggers

2009-12-11T14:25:00.005-05:00

I'm always excited when other bloggers share posts from The Eloquent Woman--but I'm remiss in thanking many recent posters. Here, as a bit of payback, is more information about these bloggers who cover similar topics--so you can enjoy exploring them:

Kate Peters writes Kate's Voice, a great blog on using your voice optimally. In a recent post on taking charge of your vocal image, she says, "I really enjoy reading “The Eloquent Woman,” a blog for women on public speaking. The author, Denise Graveline, often discusses gender differences in communication from a speaker’s perspective. Check it out!" Thanks, Kate--I know my readers will enjoy your blog.
Mike Schultz's Brinker Toastmasters blog picked up on my "fix-3" approach to analyzing and fixing 3 priorities in your public speaking, noted it's a way for Toastmasters to expand their feedback: "In her valuable post Denise Graveline suggests that “most speakers don’t take the time for this type of self-analysis,” and from experience I can say a big amen to that. Here’s a valuable way to add your own analysis to the advice you get from evaluators." He also blogged about something I agree with: Success in speaking is not for extroverts alone, citing an article we both like. I always value Mike's feedback to this blog.
Michael Erard, author of the book Um. . .: Slips, Stumbles, and Verbal Blunders, and What They Mean was nice enough to feature our interview with him on his website for the book, saying, "Denise Graveline and writer Becky Ham asked me some really great questions." We think he gave great answers, too...read the interview here.
George Page's AccuConference blog elaborated on how to regain the audience's attention if you're losing it, building on my post that answered a workshop participant's question.
Kathy Hansen's blog, A Storied Career, thinks all conferences should be storied, noting, "As blogger Denise Graveline points out, the well-known TED (technology, entertainment, design) conference also emphasizes storytelling ....Wouldn’t it be great if all conferences were storied and all presenters storytellers?" Look to her blog for all things storytelling.
Diana Schneidman's Stand Up 8 Times blog mused on the Danah Boyd experience with the Twitter backchannel--and wasn't sure she liked it. Neither did Bitchitorial. Thanks for including me in your sources, ladies. I also owe Joe Bonner, a regular source for my blogs, credit for flagging that event and Danah's own post about it.
Richard Garber's Joyful Public Speaking shared a thorough post on introductions that included my "take 5" tips for introducing speakers. Richard is the Vice President-Education for Capitol Club Toastmasters in Boise, Idaho. Thanks!
Lee Potts, author of the Breaking Murphy's Law blog for presenters on rising above what can go wrong, bookmarked my "sussing out your speaker space" item on his website. Thanks, Lee!

Resolved: Your 2009 speaking goals

2009-12-11T12:04:00.003-05:00

What are your New Year's resolutions for your public speaking? It's the time of year when many set goals--and I'd like to capture the list of public speaking resolutions for readers of this blog. Share your goals, wishlists, hopes and plans in the comments below, or on the wall of The Eloquent Woman on Facebook. Perhaps your goal will inspire someone else--or you'll find other folks with the same goal in mind, and we can work on that through the year on the blog.

Next: Step Up Your Speaking workbook

2009-12-11T09:55:00.002-05:00

If you've followed our 15-week online coaching program to Step Up Your Speaking, you've seen the progress Stephanie Benoit made with weekly exercises. So I'm happy to report that I'll be publishing the Step Up Your Speaking workbook, now in production, in early 2010. It will include all the exercises in the 15-week program, plus expanded material beyond what you've seen on the blog. The book will cover:

How to set and work on three priorities at a time to improve your speaking--a system you can use again and again for continual improvement and progress.
Inspiring examples of real speakers who've faced the same issues you're facing, and how they overcame their speaking challenges.
Exercises, practice tips and advice on the most common speaker issues, to make it easy for you to work on them on your own or with a group.
Special tips for beginning speakers and for experienced speakers who want to refresh or step up their skills.

I'll keep blog readers and fans of The Eloquent Woman on Facebook posted on the workbook's progress. In the meantime, feel free to leave me your feedback, questions you'd like the book to address or your reactions to the program in the comments.

Wrapping up Step Up Your Speaking

2009-12-11T08:48:00.005-05:00

I'm rolling out the red carpet for Stephanie Benoit, who this week completed 15 weeks of online coaching in our Step Up Your Speaking program. She entered our contest in July, and started her coaching in September--and you've seen all of it online. Here what I've noticed about Stephanie's progress:

She has a more confident speaker presence: One of Stephanie's major goals was overcoming a fear of public speaking. She's done that through the weekly practice called for in this coaching--and today, you can see that confidence implied in her posture, appearance, gestures and more. I think she's thinking more about how she wants to come across, always important for any speaker.

She's taken advantage of camera practice: Having to submit her work via online video meant that Stephanie needed to rehearse and record every week, a simple step anyone can take to improve her speaking. But more than that, she's now gesturing within the camera frame so we can see her hands, and has used the camera to learn about unintentional facial expressions--like visual "ums"--so she can correct them.

She's built on or discovered some great speaker strengths: Stephanie's been able to discover and build on existing strengths she possesses, but may not have been aware of previously. She has a pleasant and expressive voice, and uses it naturally and well for emphasis. Her enthusiasm and personality come across, even on camera (and it's tough to put that across without a live audience). She doesn't look as nervous as she may have felt going into this process, even from the beginning. And she's willing to try and practice, again and again--as a coach, I can tell you that's the key to success in public speaking!

She's starting to shape her messages. When you're just starting out as a speaker, sometimes it's hard to come up with what you want to say. There's more work here for Stephanie to do as she moves forward, but she's made a great start at coming up with messages and finding ways to make them stick with her audiences. Now she needs to work through all the things she wants to say and put them together in short and long presentations, so she's ready when an invitation arises.

Here are Stephanie's questions after 15 weeks of coaching. You'll notice that they don't sound at all ike a beginner's questions:

What other resources--books, links, ideas--can we recommend for her to keep her going?
What else does she need to successfully book a speaking engagement?
What does she need to do to turn this into a successful business?

I could list plenty of resources for each of these questions, but none of them would work as well as these three: Patience, persistence and practice. Stephanie will need patience in waiting to land a speaking engagement, and then another, and another. She'll need to persist in seeking speaking opportunities, asking and networking in all her circles and beyond them; she may need to join some professional groups, a local Toastmasters organization or a local networking group to meet and make contacts. And she'll need to practice her delivery skills as well as her messages, until she has fully developed a core of messages that she wants to communicate, and has figured out where her audiences are.

She already has one of the best practice tools I know, the Flip MinoHD Camcorder, and if she spends just an hour a week working on her message content and then on its delivery, I know she will continue to improve. And I have links at the end of this post with books and other tools she can acquire to practice as well as get new ideas and inspiration.

Does she need slick marketing materials to get a speaking engagement? I don't think so. Stephanie may want to develop a website with basic information about her business, including her biography, videos of her speaking, and some background on the topics about which she wants to speak, and she may want business cards for face-to-face networking. She's active on social-media sites and should use those to let her networks know of her goal to get a speaking engagement.

When it comes to making a business out of public speaking, I'll caution that very few people make their entire living that way. Even when you move beyond the beginner stage, there are many speaking opportunities that don't pay directly. But you may gain other worthwhile but indirect benefits, such as promoting your business, building your audience, spreading your message and making yourself more visible as a speaker. To start making speaking pay, Stephanie will need to begin as an unpaid speaker--but use each speaking experience to get those indirect benefits.

I'll say this: After going through this program in a very public way, Stephanie now has a compelling personal story to tell about her quest to improve as a speaker. When I came up with the contest, I wondered who'd be brave enough to submit a video and commit to online coaching. Stephanie's been a delight to work with, and stayed focused throughout the 15 weeks--that's a coach's dream, as is the chance to see someone progress as she has clearly done.

Stephanie's still eager to get your ideas, tips and resources, so please leave them in the comments. And stay tuned for more resources to come from the Step Up Your Speaking program....

Related posts: What's your speaker presence?

Message development: Glue to make your message sticky

All the Eloquent Woman posts on books we like for speakers and

all our posts on products for speakers

See the entire Step Up Your Speaking program, from contest to coaching

Become a fan of The Eloquent Woman on Facebook

Stephanie steps up to end...and begin

2009-12-10T08:54:00.003-05:00

It's week 15 of our Step Up Your Speaking program, and in this final session, Stephanie Benoit gets to ask three more questions about public speaking. She also uses this video to look back on the experience. I'll be responding to her questions later today, but she's also eager to hear your comments and advice as she moves forward. She may be ending this program, but she's just starting on her road as a public speaker. Here are Stephanie's final questions for me--and for all of you:

Stephanie wants to keep up the momentum: What other resources--books, links, ideas--can we recommend for her to keep her going?

She wants more on how to successfully book an event. She's begun pursuing speaking engagements, based on what we reviewed in an earlier week, but is looking for ideas, materials she may need to market herself as a speaker and more.

What does she need to do to turn this into a successful business? Speaking's one part of a business she envisions that will help empower women. How does she use this new skill as a way of becoming "financially free," as she puts it?

Stephanie used the end of her video the way a good speaker should: by sharing how and where you can find her on Twitter, Facebook and YouTube, a great example of the follow-up strategies we discussed. What are your ideas, encouragements and recommendations for this starting-out speaker? If you have advice (or a speaking engagement) for her, leave it in the comments!

The Eloquent Woman book group

2009-12-09T15:44:00.000-05:00

Reader Emily Culbertson suggested a book group -- online -- to discuss Scott Berkun's new book, Confessions of a Public Speaker, and I've started such a group on Google Wave. Wave is still in the experimental stages and you need an invitation to join; I have a few invitations to extend to followers and fans of the blog. If you are already on Google Wave, you can search for "Scott Berkun" or the book title to find our discussion--or enter this Google Wave ID: googlewave.com!w+iSDGzOq9B.2

If you're not on Google Wave, please share your thoughts and comments on the blog or on The Eloquent Woman on Facebook. I'm interested to hear what you think about the book--what did you find that was useful to you, or surprising?

5 stealth ways to find time to practice

2009-12-08T10:22:00.004-05:00

When you first start working on your public speaking skills, the idea of finding time to practice seems almost impossible. At the same time, I can tell you that improvement just won't happen unless you do practice-- and practice regularly, focusing on each thing you need to improve, as well as on your next presentation.

How do you make practice a priority, and fit it into your busy schedule? Try these 8 stealth ways to find the time for your speaking practice:

Do it in the commercial breaks: When I started learning guitar, the instructor suggested that I practice only 5 to 7 minutes at a time, to keep my fingers from getting too sore and discouraging me. "I don't normally recommend watching TV," he said, "but it's easy to work during commercial breaks with the sound muted, then stop when the program starts again." The same can work for you: choose something short to practice -- like your opening line, your closing lines, or short anecdote -- then be ready with that mute button. You get about 10 minutes of practice each half-hour this way.
Schedule an hour a week: If you want to do your practicing in the office, put it on your schedule. Start with an hour a week to practice basic skills on a regular basis. Before presentation, don't wait till the last minute to schedule a rehearsal time; instead, put in our day on your schedule for the two weeks prior.
Focus on one part of a thorny issue: If you find yourself stumbling over a particular issue in your delivery, break it into manageable parts, and focus on just one of them at a time. That way, each small area of focus will fit into a shorter, easier-to-schedule practice time. For example, if you're having trouble delivering an anecdote in an efficient way, then one hour brainstorming a tight beginning. In the next session, figure out your ending. In another, work on getting from point aA to point B in an entertaining fashion
Use your drive time: Second only to video practice is audio practice, something you can easily use in your car, on a subway train, or on yoor walk home. Spend part of your in-office practice recording yourself delivering a presentation all the way through, perhaps more than once. You may think of this as wince-able drive-time listening, issued in damages feedback: after listening to yourself several times, you'll come away with a sense of what you need to change, what takes too long to say, where you need to slow down, and much more.
Use that hotel room: The time-honored practice zone for traveling speakers everywhere, hotel rooms have a lot going for them--you're hidden from view, have access to a mirror, and often, plenty of time to kill. If you find yourself with waiting time, use your hotel room as a private practice zone--even if you're not doing a presentation this trip. It's a great way to work in practice time.

On my review bookshelf

2009-12-07T15:55:00.005-05:00

I've got a growing pile of new books to review on public speaking and am just starting them, but wanted you to know right away about what's on my new-book shelf:

Scott Berkun's Confessions of a Public Speaker takes a different approach to writing about speaking: It takes you behind the lectern and shows you what Scott has experienced, with lessons woven into a more-narrative-than-tips book.

Cliff Atkinson's The Backchannel: How Audiences are Using Twitter and Social Media and Changing Presentations Forever gets into one of the most creative--and sometimes controversial--phenomena in public speaking and offers lots of practical tips for speakers on handling it.

If you've already dipped into either of these books, share your perspective in the comments...and stay tuned for my reviews!

week 14, part 2: Expanding your message

2009-12-02T15:21:00.002-05:00

As she's rethinking her message, Stephanie wondered how to take that basic set of three key points and expand them into longer-format talks. Since a message is an outline, at heart, you can approach the challenge one of two ways:

Starting from scratch: If you don't yet know your three key points, and are starting from scratch, write down every fact, quotation, data point, story or example you can think of about your topic--then group them into categories. You may want to eliminate some points if they don't fit well with the others, or save them for another talk. Once you've settled on your points and can see ways to make three groups out of them, develop your message around those three categories. The detailed points are what you'll use to expand the talk; the short statement of your message points is the shortest version of your talk.
If you already have a message, as Stephanie does, your brainstorming can be more focused. Her message is about what it takes to face your fear of public speaking: Focus, frequency and faith in yourself. For each of those categories, she'll need to research facts, anecdotes, examples (from her own life or from popular culture) and persuasive points that will underscore and put her message across in a convincing way.

Let's take that example further: If Stephanie wanted to expand on her point about focus, she might look up some quotes about focus or single-minded pursuit of a goal or persistance--all similar qualities (follow the links to see examples). A quotation that underscores her point, plus a story or example from her own life or the life of an inspirational figure who overcame great odds or a speaking challenge, taken together, would help her expand on the points she's already included in her message -- not replace them, but in addition to them.

Other ways to expand on your points include:

Posing common questions your audience may have on that point
Describing common objections or concerns that are related
Asking the audience whether they've encountered something similar
Talking about a time when you failed to take this step and what happened
Talking about what happened when you followed this advice and succeeded
Describing your own emotions, concerns and perspective

It's also important, when expanding your message, to be sure you can stay within a specific time limit. If you're just starting out, as Stephanie is, don't expand too far. Start with a short talk of 10 to 15 minutes, get comfortable, then expand further as you need to.

Related posts: Stephanie's week 12 message

Making a message: Using analogy

Glue to make your message stick

Become a fan of The Eloquent Woman on Facebook

Follow the author on Twitter

week 14: using speed wisely and well

2009-12-02T13:03:00.002-05:00

In week 14 of our Step Up Your Speaking program, Stephanie focused on her message once more, and asked a question about the speed with which she's speaking. My video offers some thoughts on using pacing--speaking fast or slow--as a way to emphasize particular points in your presentation or speech, as well as some thoughts on why you might be speaking too fast. (If nervousness is your reason, check out the links below for suggestions to help you focus on that factor.)

I promised Stephanie a list of tools she can use to create emphasis in her speaking delivery. Here are four:

Pacing: Slowing your pace can emphasize a series of words--that might mean a list, your most important points taken together, or the last line of a dramatic story--or an important phrase or conclusion. You can also use it when you're asking questions or raising issues ("Should she take the job....wait for a better offer...or try another route?") during your presentation. Slowing down allows your point to sink in; speeding up increases the energy and your visible enthusiasm. Aim for a balance, but know in advance where, when and why you are varying your speed.
Vocal variety: Changing the tone of your voice, raising it higher or lower, or "punching" particular words to emphasize them (as in "I don't WANT to do this, so I'll WAIT to do it") also can help you call attention to words or phrases, and also helps you keep the audience attention. Check out these vocalizing tips from an NPR intern.
Gestures: Research shows that gestures, in combination with spoken words, can enhance your audience's understanding of what you're putting across in a speech or presentation. As with all these emphasis tools, plan them and use them judiciously.
Messaging tools: The same tools you use to make a message memorable--alliteration, analogy or references to popular culture--also can help you emphasize particular themes or make them easier to recall.

You can combine these different emphasis tools if you really want to put a point across. In Stephanie's message, she uses alliteration to describe three factors in facing fear of public speaking: Focus, frequency and faith. The alliteration is a subtle emphasis, and she can make it stronger by popping each of those words vocally to emphasize them even more; by gesturing; and by slowing down for each keyword.

Related posts: Vocalizing tips from an NPR intern

Speed's one assumption speakers make. Should they speak as they normally do?

Slowing down for enunciation and clarity

See Stephanie's week 12 video delivering her message

For the nervous speaker: When the speaker needs to catch her breath

week 14: Stephanie considers her message delivery

2009-12-01T09:22:00.000-05:00

This week, Stephanie used a great analogy--how you see your progress when you're trying to lose weight--to describe her reaction to her public-speaking progress in our Step Up Your Speaking program. In week 12, to show her how far she's come, I put her contest entry from the summer alongside her current video demonstrating a message she created about facing her fear of speaking. In this week's video, she says, "When you're trying to lose weight and you're working out, and every day you're in the mirror, and you don't really notice it. But people come up to you every day to give you compliments on how great you're looking. To have those two videos side to side, it gave me a lot of joy to see that my work is paying off." It's just another demonstration of her growing skill set--and that, when you speak from the heart about something you know personally, you'll be far more eloquent, relaxed and effective, as she is in this video.

In the next-to-last week of our Step Up Your Speaking challenge, Stephanie reflects in the video above about her week 12 message and what she might do better, based on my feedback and that of other viewers. For video or for speaking with a lectern, she'll need to move her hands higher and into view for gestures to really be effective. She wants to pay attention to her visual "ums," those moments when she looks away and breaks eye contact so she can pause and think about what she wants to say--or remember it. And she's trying to speak more slowly.

Here's her week 12 video delivering her message, so you can see what she's evaluating, and my feedback to her in week 12:

Stephanie's put two issues on the table I want to address this week: Speaking speed, and how to take a short message and expand it into a longer talk. They're both important issues for you to consider when you're developing your speaking style and approach. Now it's my turn to come up with two videos to coach her on those topics! In the meantime, please leave your feedback and encouragement for her in the comments.

Related posts: Can eye contact trip you up? with information on visual ums and time-buying phrases to use to combat them

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The speaker's wish list: Practice tools

November falls for our top 10 tips

2009-11-30T10:49:00.000-05:00

November was an active month on The Eloquent Woman blog, with posts about speaking challenges when Twitter's in the room, how to work with speechwriters or maneuver a room without a written speech, sussing out your event space and more coaching for Stephanie Benoit in our Step Up Your Speaking challenge. Here are the highlights from this busy month!

Audience members used Twitter to wonder whether to "do" her: Speaker Danah Boyd had a disaster of a speech that included a live Twitter backchannel with snarky--and sexual--comments about her, projected behind her while she spoke. My post on this issue and what it means for women speakers flew to the top of this month's posts, and includes comments from readers, some of whom suggest those Twitter remarks were "not extreme." What do you think, women speakers?
How to present naked--without technology and props, that is--was the topic of a popular guest post by Marion Chapsal, a speaker coach in France. She walks you through her experience and that of other speakers who use focus, engagement and storytelling to pull the audience in without extras. A bold approach you should be working toward as a speaker!
A checklist on how to check out your speaker space was our number 3 post, with questions to ask and ideas for how to find out what you need to know before you show up, including getting photos, video or other views.
What can speakers learn from speechwriters? Two speechwriters tell you in this popular post, which offers advice on how to say what you want to say as well as effective ways to work with a speechwriter to get the best presentation possible.
Jennifer Cohen's very first public talk was a runaway hit at the Ignite! Baltimore speaking event in October, with the compelling title, "Fired: Four Times." I saw her deliver it and keep the oversized crowd engaged. This guest post shares her perspective on speaking for the first time.
Introvert alert: My post on speaking up for introverts shared tips from a business coach who's an introverted speaker herself, with ideas for what it takes for introverts to prepare for speaking--or speaking up in meetings.
As we near the final coaching sessions in our Step Up Your Speaking challenge, Stephanie took another try at conveying a message, using the tips she learned earlier in our coaching. This month, she wowed me with this video of her progress--and I compared it to her original contest entry to show you how far she's come by the time of this week 12 (of 15) session.
Working with the people who manage programs and book speakers was the topic of another coaching session for Stephanie this month. In this post, she got my tips for what to ask those organizers--18 questions in all--to figure out the opportunities available and whether they work for you.
One great way to make a message sing: Use an analogy. I walked readers through the thinking behind an effective analogy for use in everything from a short message to a full-length speech.
Got a speaker or speakers in your life or work? My suggestions for gifting the speaker can work whether you're rewarding a colleague, friend, family member or the speakers you book for your events. The right book, device or gift card can go a long way to encourage a woman speaker.

Finally, November saw us pass the 1,600 mark in fans of The Eloquent Woman on Facebook, a companion site to the blog that includes discussions, videos, tips and more. I hope you'll join us as a fan or use Facebook's "suggest to friends" feature to share this resource with speakers in your own fan base.

Fix 3: Rehash & improve your speaking

2009-11-27T22:07:00.000-05:00

Do you find yourself running into the same speaking problems again and again? Do you try quick fixes or on-the-fly solutions, without success? Then it's time to take the fix-3 approach to rehashing and improving your speaking.

It's a simple and systematic approach, and you should use it right after a speech or presentation, and before your next talk: Take the time soon after speaking to list at least three things you did well, or three accomplishments for your presentation. (You may well have more than three, but make sure there are at least three on the list.) These are the factors you should make a point to employ again, whether it's a great outfit, a clever phrase, a strong storytelling element or an effective set of slides.

Then list the three things that didn't go so well--again, at least three, although you may have more. If your list is a long one, choose three items that you want to improve the next time you make a presentation or speech. For each one, list the things you need to do to better your performance in those areas.

If this sounds too simple, know that most speakers don't take the time for this type of self-analysis. Instead, they try different fixes on the spot, or resign themselves to doing poorly, or find ways to gloss over their issues. They may tell themselves they can't fix their problems, or that no one notices. The fix-3 approach is the same one we've been using in the Step Up Your Speaking online coaching for Stephanie Benoit, who chose three priorities for her 15 weeks of coaching. In fact, the fix-3 approach has lots of advantages for either the beginning or experienced speaker:

It lets you take a big wish list and whittle it down into manageable steps, an important factor for the beginning speaker or for any speaker unsure of herself. You can work on one big problem and break it down: If confidence is a major problem, for example, come up with a list of many steps you can take to improve it--then work on three at a time. Or your list may have many different aspects.
You can mix large and small objectives, to make the fixes even more manageable. You don't have to tackle all the difficult goals at once.
Your time in between speeches will be productive and focused. Instead of showing up for your next talk thinking, "I always do this wrong," or "I'm still scared," you can try out the improvements you've practiced. That will build your confidence as well as your skill.

And one more, the best advantage of all: You'll improve as a speaker.

In this much-discussed post from a speaker who had a bad experience, she shares a lot about herself as a speaker--things she now takes for granted about her speaking. Based on her post, her list of factors to improve might include:

I have to read my speeches, which means I need a laptop to seem like I'm speaking extemporaneously--but I can't always have a laptop. For this factor, the speaker may want to work on developing a message she can remember without notes.
The setup was different than I imagined it would be. This hints that the speaker needs to come up with a thorough list of questions to ask the organizers to better anticipate what will and will not be available.
I think people don't know I'm reading because of the tricks I use. If you think similar thoughts, check those assumptions--and figure out how to avoid reading if you can. Your audience will appreciate it.
I need to see the audience. Two possible fixes: Get used to speaking with bright lights through practice, or get into the audience where you can see them.
The first two minutes of my talk are painful, and I fill them with fluff until I get comfortable. Learning to relax before you speak, coming up with a strong beginning to draw the audience in, and not assuming the audience will enjoy a fluffy beginning are all factors to work on here.
I think terrible things about myself when a speech is going wrong. Working on positive ways to reinforce yourself, or ways to shift to a different plan when one approach goes wrong would be options to consider for this issue.

When you get used to using the fix-3 approach regularly, you'll sit down soon after every talk and list your accomplishments and things that need adjusting right away--and be ready with new improvements by the time of your next speech. Turning flaws or weak points into accomplishments each time can be the best kind of reinforcement.

Gifting the speaker

2009-11-26T13:34:00.001-05:00

Do you know women you want to encourage in public speaking? That might mean you, and it might mean women in your life. While you're making your list and checking it twice this holiday season, think about gifts that will inspire, educate and assist a speaker. Here are my favorites, and this week, you may want to check Amazon's Black Friday deals and specials for more ideas:

Want to stop shuffling papers or have lots of speeches--yours or your inspirations--at your fingertips without carrying a lot of paper? The Kindle wireless reading device is for you. It stores hundreds of books and documents, so you can load it with some of the inspiring speaking books noted below, plus PDF or Word documents with your own speeches--then adjust the type size for readability, and have the device read your speech aloud so you can hear it as practice. It eliminates shuffling papers or losing a page when you speak, too. Try the six-inch version, which is no more obvious than an index card in your hand and has worldwide wireless service, or go for the larger 9.7-inch Kindle DX with wireless in the U.S. only. Both now offer a horizontal as well as vertical display. Or choose yourself some books in the Kindle bookstore. The Kindle is one of my favorite speaking tools.

Organizers and program chairs often want to reward speakers, especially if their speaking's a volunteer effort. Go with a gift card so the speaker can choose a book or product that will aid her next effort.

Wouldn't it be great if women speakers made an effort to quote women in their speeches? You can make that easier with books like The Quotable Woman: The First 5,000 Years, a volume I've owned versions of since my college days; The Quotable Jewish Woman: Wisdom, Inspiration and Humor from the Mind and Heart; or Stewart's Quotable African Women.

Say It Plain: Live Recordings of the 20th Century's Great African-American Speeches: A Book-and-CD Set sets right the imbalance in many collections of great speeches by focusing on African-American voices. Women in this inspiring collection include Fanny Lou Hamer, Barbara Jordan, and Mary McLeod Bethune. This is great for a speaker who wants to understand the great speakers who came before her and quote them in her own speeches--and a wonderful set of model speeches, too. The CD will let you hear the delivery, a real advantage when you're shaping your own speaking style.

Sermons are a regular form of public speaking for many women, who do the tough job of coming up with something to say in public on a regular basis. You can inspire them with books like Birthing the Sermon-Women Preachers on the Creative Process, which gets into the process of creating a sermon, and Delivering the Sermon: Voice, Body, and Animation in Proclamation (Elements of Preaching) (Elements of Preaching), which adds how to use your voice and body to put across a sermon's message (the author's a speech pathologist).

Speaking up in meetings is a big issue for readers of this blog. Your workplace colleagues or human resources department can use Women Speaking Up: Getting and Using Turns in Workplace Meetings as a comprehensive guide to the issue, as well as learning the specific behaviors men and women exhibit in meetings. (Read more about this book in my earlier post.) For health professionals, check out Writing, Speaking, and Communication Skills for Health Professionals, which includes tips on speaking up in meetings.

I'm delighted that this post was included in the Six Minutes blog's weekly roundup of top public speaking blog posts. Thanks to Andrew Dlugan, author of the blog!

An outspoken woman gets her due

2009-11-26T12:17:00.000-05:00

She knew she'd made news, and history. But because she was outspoken, she wasn't considered suitable as a good example. Now, a children's book that won the National Book Award, Claudette Colvin: Twice Toward Justice, is giving Colvin what's long overdue: credit for being the first to test the Jim Crow laws by sitting in the "white section" on a bus.

According to author Phillip Hoose, quoted in this article in today's New York Times, “[civil rights leaders] worried they couldn’t win with her....Words like ‘mouthy,’ ‘emotional’ and ‘feisty’ were used to describe her.” Also in the article, Colvin says today, “Maybe by telling my story — something I was afraid to do for a long time — kids will have a better understanding about what the civil rights movement was about.” But, told for years that she shouldn't draw attention to herself, she even asked the author whether he thought the publisher could get the book into schools. The article and book are an inspiring read, and a reminder why women should keep speaking up and speaking out.

The object in Danah Boyd's Web 2.0 talk

2009-11-26T10:36:00.002-05:00

Danah Boyd, a Harvard fellow and Microsoft researcher of social media and youth culture trends and behaviors, gave a disastrous talk at the Web 2.0 Expo this month. I've blogged about it on the don't get caught blog in terms of the most-discussed factors that made it a train wreck: a snarky group in the audience whose comments on Twitter were broadcast online and behind Boyd as she spoke, and Boyd's own preparation missteps, which she describes unflinchingly in her own post here.

We know the subject of Boyd's talk. But what was the object?

Despite all the discussion, calls for apologies and outrage over this episode, I've yet to see observers pick up on an important point that Boyd herself makes: Some of the comments broadcast on Twitter by some of her audience members were objectifying and sexual in nature. Here's what she said:

I would *NEVER* have given my talk on race and class in such a setting. I shudder to think about how the racist language people used when I gave that talk would've been perceived on the big screen. Speaking of which...what's with the folks who think it's cool to objectify speakers and talk about them as sexual objects? The worst part of backchannels for me is being forced to remember that there are always guys out there who simply see me as a fuckable object. Sure, writing crass crap on public whiteboards is funny... if you're 12. But why why why spend thousands of dollars to publicly objectify women just because you can? This is the part that makes me angry....I don't want to be objectified when I'm speaking - either as a talking head or a sexual toy. I want to inspire, to invite you to think, to spark creative thoughts in your head.

Told you she was unflinching.

Unfortunately, I can't pull up the offensive tweets to show you, due to technical problems on Twitter today (but if someone has preserved this part of the Twitterstream, I welcome hearing from you with a link, or from audience members who recall these particular tweets). At some points during Boyd's talk, the projected Twitterstream was taken down due to the offensive nature of the comments, then projected again when the audience objected.

I'll leave it to the psychoanalysts, attorneys and academics to analyze whether the sexual comments from the audience, broadcast as they were online and to the attendees in the room, constituted narcissism, slander, hate speech or all three. For me, the episode throws into high relief an issue about women and public speaking that generally goes undiscussed, as it has in the hundreds of reflections on this conference: Public speaking is uncomfortable for many women because they sense (or know from experience) that they'll be seen as sexual objects, and it's considered acceptable to treat them that way, in part, because they've put themselves forward as speakers.

Talk about discouraging women to speak. In 2009, we're seeing yet again an issue that has plagued women speakers since the days of ancient Greece and Rome: Attempting to silence women by treating them as sexual objects (or hysterics, or other negatives). This chapter in Kathleen Hall Jamieson's excellent book Eloquence in an Electronic Age: The Transformation of Political Speechmaking discusses this topic in detail, but the chapter's first lines sum it up: "History has many themes. One of them is that women should be quiet." If you want to understand the spotty and difficult history of women and public speaking, that chapter's an excellent short course.

Danah Boyd herself was the object in her talk, for some men in her audience. Not a researcher, not a colleague, but an object.

The silence around this issue is all the more striking because this Web 2.0 Expo experience gives us two unique windows into the minds of the speaker and the audience. If the Twitter feed weren't public, those crude thoughts would've been known only by those thinking them--and the speaker would have had nothing to react to in her blog post. In a way, I'm grateful for this public meltdown, because it lets us put this common but undiscussed issue on the table, where women can face it and, perhaps, deal with it. I don't think we can change people's thoughts, by a long shot. But we need to be willing to talk about the issue. If we don't, it will remain one of those vague reasons women feel uncomfortable about public speaking, but aren't sure why. In fact, if the offensive tweets are removed, as they might well be, Boyd's willingness to write about them could be the only record we have--underscoring the importance of making these issues public.

And for those reading this who wonder, "Is this really a problem? I've never experienced it," let me just say that this blog--which aims to offer good advice and information to all speakers, male or female--came about because of the number of women who come to me for training saying things like, "They told me my presentations aren't sexy enough," or "My boss thinks I should wear skirts when I'm making a presentation or a speech." And that's in the 21st century. It's not the only gender issue women face in speaking, but it's a major one.

Kudos to Boyd, not just for her excellent research, but her willingness to speak frankly, allowing us to have a discussion. Please share your thoughts and additional information about this episode, or what you've experienced directly, in the comments.

Related posts: Twitter backchannel: Danah Boyd's take
New ebook on presenting with Twitter

Tweeting at meetings gets controversial

Speakers: Learn from Twitter hecklers

5 ways to find out about your audience

Find out more about women's issues in public speaking on The Eloquent Woman blog

Find out more about my workshops and one-on-one speaker coaching services

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Speak with power and elegance: Eat, Pray, Love

2009-11-24T14:35:00.000-05:00

As part of her blog's series on powerful women speakers, speaker coach Marion Chapsal shares some observations about this TED talk by Elizabeth Gilbert, author of the bestselling memoir Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia that are useful if you're working on creating a speaker presence for yourself.

Here's what Marion noticed in this talk that you can take away:

You can perform on a stage with nothing else but your presence, yourself, no technology.

You can rely on stories and myths to give flesh to your talk.
You can be perfectly structured with elegance and flow.

Those all sound like an eloquent woman to me. Thanks to Marion for sharing another good video example of a powerful woman speaker. What did you see in this talk that you can use in your next speech?

Related posts: What's your speaker presence?

Week 13: Following up after a speech

2009-11-24T14:06:00.001-05:00

Plenty of speakers focus on preparation and delivery. But in week 13 of Stephanie's online coaching, I want to be sure she--and all of you--keep in mind what happens after your speech. How and whether you follow up with your organizers, audience and followers can make the difference between a good speech and a great one. Here's my checklist of steps you should take after a speech, and these tips work for meeting presentations and small-group talks as well as formal speeches:

Thank those who invited you. That may be a program committee or individual organizer, as well as anyone who recommended you as a speaker to the group in question. If your "speech" was a presentation in a meeting, thank the person who chaired it as well as the person who asked you to present. And don't just thank them from the lectern during your presentation--write an email, or speak to them in person directly after you speak, or both. Organizers and meeting chairs need feedback, and you can use this opportunity to let them know your interest in speaking again. Pave the way for future talks now.
Thank those who went above-and-beyond for you. All sorts of things can and will go wrong during presentations. Did someone (or a group) rally around to help you get through it? From the audio-visual team to the organizers or audience, be sure to take the time to let them know how much they helped you. Sometimes, you can find ways to thank them publicly, as I did in this blog post sharing what could have been a disastrous presentation made wonderful by the collective efforts of the board of Science Writers in New York when I spoke to their group in May. If it's a group you'd always want to have your back in a troubled presentation, say so. (This step also may apply to someone behind the scenes: The person who let you rehearse endlessly, the person who handled the technology, and others.)
Talk to individual audience members: Don't just dash off after you speak. Be sure to allow another 15 - 30 minutes to mingle with individuals and take questions from them. Keep in mind that many audience members--even in small meetings--won't want to ask a public question (and that may be particularly true for women, who tend to prefer one-on-one interaction). As the speaker, it's up to you to be available. If these contacts ask you for more information, be sure to write or call them soon after your presentation to follow up.
Be sure people know how and where to find you later. Bring business cards or a paper handout with your contact information--and please don't just note your contact points on a slide. If possible, work with the meeting organizer to make sure each participant has your materials.
Share additional resources. One way to take some pressure off your presentation is to decide to focus your remarks tightly, but share more information as an ongoing reference. I've switched from paper handouts and materials to posting additional points on my blogs to make resources and links widely available, and I sometimes post video of the Q&A with longer answers than I can give in a presentation.
Let people know you're available to speak to other groups. Don't think this is obvious. Your materials, take-aways and even the last part of your presentation should, where appropriate, let people know your willingness to speak on this topic again.
Share information on the success of your speech, and share your materials. Think of the audience beyond the room you're speaking in. Post an update to Twitter or Facebook after you speak, share photos from the event, and post links to your materials where a wider audience can see them. You can use sites like SlideShare or Prezi to post your slides online for others to see--check out the SlideShare section of The Eloquent Woman on Facebook, where you can post slides from your recent presentations and see popular slides from other speakers.

Stephanie's just starting out as a speaker, so she won't be able to put these tips into action just yet. But she can be thinking about what types of materials she'll use as audience resources. And anyone can join our conversation in this week of the U.S. Thanksgiving holiday to share what you're grateful for as a speaker.

Related posts: 15 Weeks to Step Up Your Speaking contest and online coaching

Become a fan of The Eloquent Woman on Facebook

I'm delighted that this post was included in the Six Minutes blog's weekly roundup of top public speaking blog posts. Thanks to Andrew Dlugan, author of the blog!

what do speakers assume?

2009-11-21T13:21:00.000-05:00

Last month, I spent nearly as much time in the audience as I did up front as a speaker, and from that vantage point, I noticed lots of speakers making faulty assumptions about their audiences or their speeches. (For example, I saw lots of speakers assume they could hold the microphone anywhere and still be heard.) So I asked fans of The Eloquent Woman on Facebook what speaker assumptions they'd noticed, and whether those assumptions were right or wrong. Here's what they said:

Germaine Palangdao called out speakers for "Acronyms - they assume everyone knows acronyms."
Cynthia Baugh-Gunder Hill wrote, "Of the many audiences I have been in this past summer listening to speakers on various subjects related to education and special needs... I must agree with the acronyms and the audience not being able to hear clearly. In addition... speakers that use PowerPoint and the lights are dimmed to the point that you can't make any notes, even if they supply you with a copy of the slides."
Tiffany Lohwater added, "speakers who assume that their audience can/should read the 15+ text bullets on one slide in small font, before they click on to the next one!"

That's why I was glad to see this week that Marjorie Brody, writing on the Six Minutes blog, notes 8 faulty speakers assumptions and what you can do to fix them. Her list includes:

1.Deep knowledge of a topic alone will enable me to present ideas on it.
2.My audience members are mind readers.
3.I can present information/concepts that took me 3 months to learn in a 20-minute presentation.
4.Everyone in my audience is equal.
5.I don’t need to practice out loud.
6.I’ll have plenty of time to get there.
7.If I get off the platform/stage, I will be closer to audience members.
8.If I speak at my normal speed, everyone will understand me.

What do you notice speakers assuming when you're in the audience? Can you think of assumptions you make when you're speaking--and what to do about them? Share your thoughts and questions in the comments. I just know we can add to these lists!

And check out my checklist for the whole speaker, designed to help you get at some of the most basic speaker assumptions--from your content to what you're wearing--before you speak.