“They’re making me feel bad!”

Bullpucky! No one can “make you” feel bad without your consent. Is it good to empathize with the emotions of others? Sure! But tears don’t mean that you are doing something wrong. Your emotional reaction is yours to manage, just like they need to manage theirs.

“They’re trying to manipulate me, or to end the conversation.”

Not necessarily. Some people have a wider range of emotional display than others. While it’s possible (in rare cases) that someone has learned to use tears as a conversation-stopper, it’s not the norm. Assumptions much? 

“They need to control themselves.”

Now we’re closer to the mark. Any of us might have a once-in-a-blue-moon experience of crying at work, but there is a reasonable expectation that employees are able to maintain emotional control. Why? Accepting feedback is part of the job, and we expect professional conduct. If emotions or tears get in the way of professionalism, it’s a performance problem.

Tips for Managers, When Employees Cry:

Check yourself -Are you being loud, abusive, or harsh? No one deserves to be belittled. If you are contributing to the problem, fix that first. Hand them a tissue and pause. Most of the time this will give the person a moment to compose themselves. If you like, you can add “I’m sorry that this upsets you, it’s not my intention.” Once they’ve composed themselves, continued.

Allow for Some Differences -We each have our own comfort level with emotions at work. If you are extremely composed, but your employee “has their heart on their sleeve” don’t judge them too harshly. Allow for a reasonable range of expression.

Inquire -“You seem very upset about this…” can be a mild probing statement. Perhaps there is something going on that you can’t see. Take a break. If this situation is a rarity, you might offer to pick the conversation up later. Don’t do this if they cry every time.

Set Expectations about Emotional Control – “I’ve noticed that you’ve cried the past few times I’ve given you feedback. Why is that? …. I don’t expect you to be emotionless, but it is a problem when your crying means we can’t have a conversation about performance. I need you to be able to listen to me and respond without breaking down. Can you do that?”

Cheri Baker, MA, SPHR is the President of Emergence Consulting. Emergence Consulting's services include Management Coaching, Leadership Development, Team Building, Customer Service and Communication Skills Training and Strategic Planning in the Seattle, WA area. More information on her programs can be found:www.emergenceconsulting.net

Myth One:   To fix a dysfunctional team, fire the troublemakers.

It sounds promising right?  You fire your bad apples, and everything gets better.  The problem is that this works for about a month or two, and then a new troublemaker will emerge from the crowd.  Dysfunctional behavior is a byproduct of a team gone awry, and yes, if behavioral problems persist after team building you may need to let someone go.  But this knee-jerk reaction of firing the troublemaker often does more harm than good.   Why?  It doesn’t resolve the screwed up dynamics that cause dysfunction. 

Over and over, I’ve seen “troublemakers” become leaders and example-setters after team building.  Don’t miss out on that transformation by kicking someone to the curb before you’ve gone through the improvement process together.

Myth Two:  Hire great people to fix the team.

If your sink is full of dirty water, and you pour a cup of clean water into it, what do you get?  More dirty water.  Throwing quality people into a dysfunctional team isn’t going to fix your problem.  It’s just going to bring that shiny new superstar down to the level of everyone else.  Why?  It’s about the dynamics and the norms, not about the fact that you need to replace your “sucky” employees with “better” ones.

I’m not opposed to the tips in this article, and taken as general business advice, they do have merit.   But will they fix your dysfunctional team?  Absolutely not!

I’ve helped very dysfunctional teams become most admired teams many times over, and the problem is never “bad apples”, or the fact that the manager isn’t “holding someone accountable” for being late to a meeting.   Dysfunctional teams have developed bad habits as a group.  Changing those norms takes a group effort; the active participation of the players. The beautiful thing is that given a chance, these so called “Dysfunctional Teams” will heal themselves!  We just need to provide a safe environment, some tools, and plenty of supportive nudging.

That’s my view anyway.  From a chick who has made her living doing this work. What do you think?

Cheri Baker, MA, SPHR is the President of Emergence Consulting. Emergence Consulting's services include Management Coaching,  Leadership Development, Team Building, Customer Service and Communication Skills Training and Strategic Planning in the Seattle, WA area.

More information on her programs can be found:http://www.emergenceconsulting.net

Sometimes the customer is wrong. Sometimes they are simply asking for what you are not able to offer. Sometimes a customer can be abusive, and sometimes a customer needs to be fired.

One of the great lessons of consulting is that it teaches you to work in partnership with others. My clients have needs, and it’s my job to meet and exceed them. I also have needs, things like good communication, respect, and timely payment, and it’s my clients’ responsibility to meet those. Neither one of us is subservient to the other. There is no bowing and scraping. It’s about a beneficial partnership between adults.

When we create an environment where the customer is always right, we are setting up a power imbalance that doesn’t respect our businesses or our people. We become yes-men instead of partners. We ask our employees to accept that they won’t be respected, and that respect isn’t necessarily deserved. We tolerate “bad business.”

I encourage you to retain the right to fire your customers. If you must do so (and I know it happens rarely) you should of course do so with respect and courtesy. The customer who shouts at your staff? “It sounds like you’re angry with us. I’m very sorry to hear that. Perhaps it’s best if you get your (service) elsewhere.” The client who never pays on time? If they can’t mend their ways, it’s time to part ways, or to require payment in advance.

I know not everyone will agree with me, and certainly in these “economic times” (that phrase is becoming a tired cliché) it’s hard to let dollars go. But I do encourage you to focus on good business, and let the bad business go. This world is 97% good people and 3% (insert non-business appropriate language). Serve the former with all your heart. Let the latter go, and don’t feel bad about it for a second.

Agree? Disagree? I’d love to hear.

Cheri Baker, MA, SPHR is the President of Emergence Consulting. Emergence Consulting's services include Management Coaching,  Leadership Development, Team Building, Customer Service and Communication Skills Training and Strategic Planning in the Seattle, WA area.

More information on her programs can be found:http://www.emergenceconsulting.net

What if we could use our voice as an instrument of customer service? Chances are that we are doing it already. If you’ve ever raised your voice in passion to drive home a point in a conversation, or slowed down your rate of speech to soothe an upset friend, you’ve experienced the power of your voice as an instrument of service.

When we greet a customer, we can use a light and happy tone to signal that we are happy to see them.

When a customer is angry, we can lower our tone to one of gentleness, and speak a bit more slowly to communicate our concern and compassion.

When we are listening to a complex problem, we can say (with a hint of guardedness) “Let me make sure I understand..” to communicate how important it is that we got the message.

When a customer is sharing something personal and lighthearted, we can place a hint of laughter in our voice, to show them that we are sharing in the moment.

And sometimes, when words seem meaningless, a shared silence or the comfort of a hand on someone’s shoulder can say more than words ever could. Your voice is an instrument.

Experiment with all of those emotional scales. Using them with intention, like a master pianist uses notes, and you’ll create an impact that goes long beyond the content of your words. And let me know how it works for you, OK?

Cheri Baker, MA, SPHR is the President of Emergence Consulting. Emergence Consulting's services include Management Coaching,  Leadership Development, Team Building, Customer Service and Communication Skills Training and Strategic Planning in the Seattle, WA area.

More information on her programs can be found:http://www.emergenceconsulting.net

I love surveys, focus groups, and interviews, because they give us real data to base our assumptions on. Do we think customers are unhappy? Let’s validate that assumption. Do we think customer service needs to be improved? Let’s take a look at the feedback, both high and low, to get a feel for the specific issues impacting our service level.

When we take a little time to gather the data, we avoid wasting time. When I told my client “Let’s focus this training narrowly, let’s get at the meaningful areas that are going to make a difference for customers” she smiled. Why? Her team doesn’t need customer service 101. They’re competent and skilled at the basics. She also knows it would be an insult to drag them in a room and tell them what they already know.

Applying a basic training program to a group of experts is a bit like giving a patient oxygen when they really need stitches on their knee. Specific is better. Let’s get right to what matters.

I’m looking forward to the good stuff!

Cheri Baker, MA, SPHR is the President of Emergence Consulting. Emergence Consulting's services include Management Coaching,  Leadership Development, Team Building, Customer Service and Communication Skills Training and Strategic Planning in the Seattle, WA area.

More information on her programs can be found:http://www.emergenceconsulting.net

The toolkit is free for my newsletter subscribers up through January 31^st, and after that it will go into my web store for $4.99.   If you want the 2012 Goal Setting Toolkit, email me by January 31^st 2012 and I’ll add you to my mailing list and send  you the PDF.

Happy Goal Setting!

Cheri Baker, MA, SPHR is the President of Emergence Consulting. Emergence Consulting's services include Management Coaching,  Leadership Development, Team Building, Customer Service and Communication Skills Training and Strategic Planning in the Seattle, WA area.

More information on her programs can be found:http://www.emergenceconsulting.net

When it comes to 2012, the word that has been coming to mind for me is Excellence.When I think about Excellence, I think about expectations.  It’s interesting to see how some organizations embody a culture of excellence, and others really don’t.

I’ve worked with companies that work hard to identify that “spark” of excellence inside every new hire, and I’ve worked with companies who act like their employees are doing them a favor by not shouting at customers.

Employee performance tends to “average out” in line with cultural expectations, so those lenient organizations are not doing anyone a favor.   In a culture of mediocrity, superstars either quit after a time, or they gradually lose their sparkle.  

Thankfully, excellence is a fire that can be kindled at any time, with some focus and planning.In 2012, I want to immerse myself in Excellence.  Both in terms of my own impact and the people I choose to surround myself with.  Here is what Excellence means to me.

• Going beyond what is expected.
• Making others feel special and well taken care of.
• Seeking to surprise and delight.
• Never settling for “just good enough.”
• Reaching beyond what seems possible.
• Backing up your ideals with action.
• Having the highest standards, refusing to accept less than the best.The courage to push boundaries, the compassion to forgive mistakes.
• Experiencing the joy of shared accomplishments.

I wish you an excellent 2012.  And I look forward to sharing some of my adventures with you along the way!

Cheri Baker, MA, SPHR is the President of Emergence Consulting. Emergence Consulting's services include Management Coaching,  Leadership Development, Team Building, Customer Service and Communication Skills Training and Strategic Planning in the Seattle, WA area.

More information on her programs can be found:http://www.emergenceconsulting.net

It means that generally by the time there is a “consensus” that the economy has recovered, it is probably going to be too late for us.  Too late for us to staff up appropriately.  Too late for us to build competent managers.  Too late for us to train staff in customer service.

When we wait for the “all clear” we may be missing opportunities.  When your customers are lined up thick outside your door or on hold on the telephone, you want to be ready to kick butt and take names.  If you’ve been holding back on getting ready because “the demand isn’t there” it’s probably time to get off the sidelines.

Growth requires infrastructure.  It requires talent.  Skills. People.  Knowledge.  Systems.

Recessions stink, but I’m already seeing the wave turn.  Certainly we have not gotten the all clear yet.  But why wait?   Let’s prepare for growth.  Let’s be ready for that big wave of demand, because I think it’s going to be here sooner than we think!

Of course this is just one opinion.  What is yours? 

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Cheri Baker, MA, SPHR is the President of Emergence Consulting. Emergence Consulting's services include Management Coaching,  Leadership Development, Team Building, Customer Service and Communication Skills Training and Strategic Planning in the Seattle, WA area. More information on her programs can be found: http://www.emergenceconsulting.net

We want to surprise, to delight, and to feel we’re making a meaningful difference to others.  We want to do work that matters.   In my mind, that comes down to three components.

So what are the Three Components of Great Customer Service?

1.       Competence – We can offer our sunniest smiles and friendliest greeting, but if we can’t get our customers what they need, we are not providing good service.  Technical Support needs to be able to resolve our question.  Our barista needs to be able to make a tasty espresso drink.

 2.       Conscientiousness – Going beyond competence, we need to be trustworthy.  We need to show up when we say we will, meet our promises, and return phone calls as promised.  We need to go the extra mile, ensuring that service has been completed, not just handed off.

 3.       Connection – We want our customers to feel respected, cared for, and important.  We want to feel that human connection, whether it be in person or via phone.  Service at its core is a human act of helpfulness, and we want to connect on a personal level.

When I work with groups to improve customer service, we talk about how you need all three of the C’s in order to thrive as a service provider.  Commonly teams are excelling at one or two, but failing at the third.  I hope you’ll take a moment to consider the 3 C’s this month and ask yourself – are you doing them all?  If so, I don’t doubt you’re a star.

The Three Components of Customer Service are Copyright 2011 Emergence Consulting, All Rights Reserved

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Cheri Baker, MA, SPHR is the President of Emergence Consulting. Emergence Consulting's services include Management Coaching,  Leadership Development, Team Building, Customer Service and Communication Skills Training and Strategic Planning in the Seattle, WA area. More information on her programs can be found: http://www.emergenceconsulting.net