Slaying the Paper Processing Tyrant

2012-01-27T08:25:00.001-08:00

The High King, Laserjet 4700, ruled from his throne at the end of the row of desks in the land of Computer Lab room 628. The "printer," as he became known by by the common folk of the land, came into power many a year before our hero had risen to the highest position in the king's court.

Our Hero was the Lead Student Technical & Network Administrator. He was the jester and head advisor in the kings court, pleasing the king, and all of the members of the court who worshiped the almighty Internet under the bishop, Linksys Router.

Generally all was well in the land of Computer Lab room 628, maybe an issue with a member of the court gets into a argument with the common folk over file formats, or an iMac become disconnected from the bishop, but nothing that could not be solved. However, one day this all changed.

The High King grew resentful of the common folks' paper processing requests. For seemingly no reason at all he would require members of his court to renew their oaths of loyalty, and would jam himself full of paper.

Our champion would attempt to appease the king. Swearing in the members of the court, and tending to the crown. But this became quite the chore, and was hindering our defender from completing his other duties.

The King wished to have absolute power over his domain, and wanted to show the common folk how powerful he was! So,he stopped all of his paper processing services, and sent all who had served him into chaos.

This was our protectors final straw! He challenged the tyrant to a dual, for control of the land of Computer Land room 628. The High King accepted and the two opponents faced off.

The young administrator went straight for the king's settings menu. While flipping through the darkest kept secrets that the tyrant had managed to hide from his court and the common folk, our challenger had discovered his majesties greatest trickery! The king had convinced all in his court to request that all paper processing be done from a hidden tray 2.

A simple few flick of the fingers should have been able to undo this atrocity but the settings were greyed out! Our hero was left without hope. The High King was declaring victory. Our hero remembered of just one more path of action!

He wrapped his fingers around the kings power chord and grasped firmly. With a shout to the heavens our hero ripped the unethical rulers life blood from the wall and proceeded to count.

"One one-thousand, two one-thousand..." Until he had reached a total of ten one-thousands, and restored life to his combatant.

The king knew that he had been beaten! He allowed our guardian to reset his factory settings.

Our epic everyday hero gained new respect from the common folk. With the land of Computer Lab under his leadership, he retired to playing tetris. All was again well, and the paper processing tyrant never again sought such power.

The Battle Against the Hygienic Dark Mage!

2012-01-24T08:10:00.000-08:00

Dawn.

Our feline hero has been awakened by the sounds of an obscure and secretive ritual. The unmistakable sound of torrents of water rushing out of a strange device placed up high, on some unreachable steamy crag, was a dead give away that the Dark Mage was up to his usual black antics.

The furry protector was seemingly the only being in existence who seemed to understand the atrocities happening just on the other side of the door. Even the knowledgeable Miniature Schnauzer of the village slept through the sacrament. Something had to be done.

Chance was on the side of the now battle ready warrior. The Dark Mage had left the entry into his chamber ajar! The pieces were in play! Weapons drawn, our liberator went on the prowl.

He pushed through the unguarded gates, and trekked through the tiled moorland. He bounded over the hill of discarded clothing, and rested at the foot of the fiberglass mount, veiled by a curtain of palm trees. All in the cloak of silence and anticipation.

In a single leap our guardian landed atop of the fiberglass cliffs, and peered into its basin. There stood the Dark Mage. He was bathing himself in the liquid that flowed from falls at the fiberglass mountains highest peak.

This was our hero's moment, to bring the treachery that beseeched his lands to a close. As champion was about to descend into the basin, to face his combatant, he noticed he was hindered. The Dark Mage had placed an invisible ward around the entrance to the steaming falls.

Our hero was unskilled in ancient magiks and was unable to lower the ward. He resolved to compete in a contest of brute strength, but even his mightiest blows were thwarted! He attempted to out wit the Mage, and circumvent the obstacle. That to ended in failure.

As our warrior was accepting defeat, the Dark Mage had stopped the falls great outpouring. He whisked aside his ward and the palm tree curtain.

In a stupor the warrior makes a fatal miscalculation and jumps into the basin. The Dark Mage sees his opportunity and makes his escape.

Alas, the Mage never meets justice. Our warrior brushes off the defeat and heads back to his routine, of fighting invading toilet paper rolls, and sparing with the Schnauzer.

The Epic Everyday Hero

Slaying the Paper Processing Tyrant

The Battle Against the Hygienic Dark Mage!