Sensual and Erotic BDSM

Putting Your Eggs In One Basket

empressava29@aol.com (Miz Ava) — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 22:43:00 +0000

Easter comes early this year and this little assignment will surely get you in the spirit of the season!

What you need:

A dozen raw eggs

Something to serve as a blindfold

1 quarter

a vibrator or butt plug

a means for measuring 20 minutes

The assignment:

You will need to choose a wall in your house or wherever you will be performing this assignment. I suggest you prepare the area and consider laying down newspapers or plastic covering down on the floor surrounding this wall in case you make a mess. You are not allowed to wear clothing during this activity.

Set your timer for 20 minutes. Facing the wall, you will next place the vibrator or plug in your butt and then place the uncooked egg between your knees, holding it in place without crushing it. Then take the quarter and place at on the wall, using your nose to hold it in place. Now put the blindfold on.

The purpose of this assignment is to not drop the coin or crush the egg that you are securely keeping in between your knees. If you crush the egg, replace it with another one and reset the timer for 20 minutes and begin again. If you loose the coin, reset the timer for another 20 minutes and begin yet again. If you are able to complete a full twenty minute segment without dropping the coin or egg, you may reward yourself with an orgasm.

Please post the results of the task here in the comment section. Be sure to address the degree of difficulty you felt this task imposed upon you, if any. What went though your mind as you stood there, nose to the wall, egg embraced between your legs? Were you able to complete the assignment without starting over? If not, how many attempts did you take? Were you turned on or aroused at any time throughout this activity?

Have an egg-cellent time!

Truth or Dare: 3/1/08

empressava29@aol.com (Miz Ava) — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 22:53:00 +0000

In case you haven't figured it out yet, I so love playing games....and if the games are kinky or naughty, so much the better!

On the Vox Erotic Radio last night, my cohost Ms Cecilia and I moderated a radio-show style version of the game, "Truth or Dare".

One of the dares that was assigned to a listener who called in to the show to participate in the game was to make an aluminum foil bikini. This type of dare requires picture proof and as promised to the listeners, I bring you the photo series called:

"Relinquished"; A Tin Foiled Bikni Beauty

Truth or Dare is just one of the games that will be played regularly with listeners live on the Vox Erotic Show; be sure to tune in on Saturday's beginning at 10pm EST to join the festivities!

Chocolate Kink Assignment

empressava29@aol.com (Miz Ava) — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 07:51:00 +0000

This assignment is a tad late for Valentine's Day, however I don't believe timing is going to be an issue here. ;)

What you will need:

a slightly melted chocolate bar
a full length mirror
3 or 4 toys such as nipple clamps, rubber bands, butt plug, dildo, etc.

Write a phrase on the mirror using the chocolate bar...can be something like "nasty slut", "orgasms", "dirty tease"....whatever best describes your thoughts/mood at the time of the assignment. The trick is the word/phrase you write must be about 2 feet tall from the bottom of the mirror up.

Get on all fours, and move as far away from the mirror as you can but still be able to see the chocolate words and your reflection. Using one of your chosen toys, you will indulge in some playtime and apply either the clamps to your nipples, rubber bands around cock/balls, butt plug insertion, oral or anal play with the dildo, etc. Make sure you spend a good five minutes exploring with the toy. Then begin stroking/rubbing but when you approach the edge, you must crawl to the mirror and lick one of the chocolate letters clean from the mirror. Return to your orginal spot away from the mirror, play with the next toy for five minutes and then play with yourself but only until you are on the verge again. Repeat the crawling and licking procedure. Depending on how many toys you have, you will likely reuse some of them. Of course, you have my permission to be as creative as you can be with how you play with your toys in between each crawl/lick to the mirror. Continue in this fashion: play, stroke, crawl, lick, crawl back until all of the chocolate letters have been licked clean from the mirror. At that time, you can take care of yourself however you wish.

Share your experience in the comment section. Address the following points: How did you feel crawling back and forth to the mirror? Was it difficult for you to edge repeatedly? What was it like licking those chocolate letters off of the mirror? Did you watch yourself in the mirror when you were playing and/or stroking? What went through your mind when you saw your reflection? Were you able to complete the assignment?

And please note, if you are participating in these assignments and are seeking my feedback, you must provide your report when the task is completed below in the comment section. I will not respond to email reports and the reason why is:

Reports in emails or in other formats can get wordy. I do not want to spend an hour reading through these. Using the comment format here forces you to be concise and express your thoughts and feelings on the assignments in a more structured, easier to disect format.
The premise of participating in an erotic humiliation assignment is to engage you in acts of humiliation. Reporting to me in a public forum like this enhances the element of public humiliation.
I make the rules. These are my assignments. You are welcome to partake in them on your own, but if you are performing the tasks for me, you need to follow my direction.

Thank you in advance for your cooperation.

Your Ass Is Mine Assignment

empressava29@aol.com (Miz Ava) — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 23:11:00 +0000

This next assignment is moderately heavy on anal play, so if you are a novice in this area, I recommend warming up a bit prior to taking this task on. Please leave a comment to let me know how the assignment worked (or didn't) for you. I will respond to all feedback and/or results.

You will need to put aside a full day to complete this assignment for me. You must also have privacy throughout the day as you will regularly be put into compromising and vulnerable positions.

On the day you begin, I want you to masturbate every 30 minutes for at least five minutes for a total of 8 hours minimum. That means, if you begin this task at 9am, you will stroke it again at 9:30, 10:00, 10:30, 11:00, 11:30, noon, etc. until at least 5pm. Of course, there will be no coming allowed throughout this time period.

In addition, at least on three separate occasions throughout this 8 hour period, you must insert something into your butt but you can only use an object one time. So if you use a particular butt plug first, you cannot use it again for the remaining two anal exercises. You can use different sized butt plugs however and some other possible options for items might include:

dildo
broom handle
banana
cucumber
toilet brush
candle stick

Do not be careless and use any item that could get stuck or lost inside of you. No small items like pens, pencils, etc. Be practical and safe.

Make sure you reserve the third/last anal insertion for the final portion of this assignment. Decide in advance which object you will be saving for the end (or rather, saving for *your* end) and try to space out your anal endeavors throughout the day. When the 8th and final hour of your five minute edging exercise is complete, bring the object you were saving for me and click below to find out what will happen to you next:

Humiliate Me

Erotic Humiliation and Fetish Exploration Series

empressava29@aol.com (Miz Ava) — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 19:19:00 +0000

Over the last several weeks, I've been creating a series of essays exploring various elements of erotic humiliation and fetishes. The topics I've covered thus far include the CFNM (clothed female/naked male) fetish, Strap On Play, and Public Humiliation. You can read these essays by following the links below:

CFNM: Erotic, Humiliating and Vulnerable Play

Strap-On Humiliation: Bend Over, Bitch

Public Humiliation: How To Indulge Your Fetish Without Getting Arrested

I'm also looking to conduct email interviews with those who might like to contribute their thoughts, experiences and fantasies revolving around CBT for an upcoming fetish exploration essay. I'd potentially be using excerpts from our correspondence to highlight certain parts of the essay, so if you're interested in discussing, please feel free to contact me. Deadline is 1/23/08, so any inquiries received after then will not be able to be interviewed for this next topic.

Welcoming the New Year: Test Your Willpower

empressava29@aol.com (Miz Ava) — Sun, 06 Jan 2008 23:50:00 +0000

“Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.”
~Mahatma Gandhi

For today's assignment, we are really going to be testing your sense of will power....in some pretty interesting and challenging ways, I might add. You're going to need a private place for a few hours to do this task as well as some items listed below. Please note, you do not need to have every item in the list; its not so much of how many toys you have access to as it is the way you use these toys for me.

clothespins= 1 point per pin, worn for minimum of 10 minutes
gag (can be a scarf, panties, your underpants, anything made of cloth)= 2 points
blindfold= 2 points
ball gag= 3 points
dildo used as a gag= 5 points
butt plug= 5 points; and 1 additional point for every 10 minutes worn
ability to remain still while performing this entire taskfor a minimum of 15 minutes= 10 points

Firstly, before you even set out to work on this assignment for me, you are to spend at least two hours naked and refraining from touching your cock or balls.

Then what I want you to do is gather the items you have available from my list above and get on your knees and face a corner. Apply the implements as you are able and remain on your knees, as still as possible for 15 minutes minimum. No stroking, no edging, no rubbing....your cock and balls don't exist at all for these 15 minutes.

Then when the 15 minutes have elapsed, you are to add up your points. Click below to learn what you will do next.

What Your Points Reveal

Be sure to leave a report in the comment section below detailing how this assignment worked out for you and what you got out of it. This will help me get ideas to create future tasks and also enable me to follow your progress.

Your phone sex Malignatrix,
Miz Ava

Your Assignment: Redemption

empressava29@aol.com (Miz Ava) — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 16:10:00 +0000

Repent and Redeem

Well now…it’s been quite a while since I’ve stirred up some trouble around here and lucky (or perhaps not so lucky) for you, you’re catching me on a day when the theme revolves around redemption.

While preparing yourself for today’s assignment I want you to think about something you’ve done in the past week that you know was wrong….maybe you let someone down at work…maybe you leered too long at that hot, hard-bodied married neighbor, maybe you jerked off one too many times to lesbian porn when you were supposed to be raking up the leaves….it can be any type of infraction, minor or major.

You will also need the following items: a wooden handled hair brush with bristles, two clothespins, tube of lipstick or magic marker and some sort of timer. Oh yes...in case you haven't figured it out, you are so going to be humiliated by me for your misgivings.

Of course you will be naked for this entire assignment. Take the marker or the lipstick and write the words: “I am sorry Miz Ava” across your belly. And while you are writing these words, I want you to be thinking about what it was you did wrong and be sincerely apologetic in your mind and heart. Then repeat the words: “I must repent” ten times after you’ve marked your stomach.

For the next five minutes I would like you to be on your knees—but do not sit on your feet or ankles when you kneel. In other words, you should be kneeling upright. Hands are behind your head now, and focus on your wrongdoing. Why are you so unruly? What do you gain from misbehaving? How could you learn to be a better person?

Next take the two clothespins and attach them to each of your nipples. Kneel on the floor. Set your timer for 15 minutes and begin to stroke your cock and again, repeat the words “I must repent” several more times during the fifteen minutes. If you feel as though you are approaching orgasm, stop stroking and grab that hairbrush and smack your ass ten times on each cheek. Make sure you say “Thank you Mistress” with each smack. Then resume stroking. Continue in this fashion with the spanking as necessary until the ten minutes are up. When the timer sounds, you may remove the clothespins, but remain on your knees.

Click below to learn what your next set of instructions are.

Humiliate Me

A Cuckold Relationship Examined

empressava29@aol.com (Miz Ava) — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 10:50:00 +0000

We are constantly protecting the male ego, and it's a disservice to men. If a man has any sensitivity or intelligence, he wants to get the straight scoop from his girlfriend. ~ Betty Dodson

Or does he?

In this interview, I speak with “kinks”, a 22 year old college student and self-described alpha male who happens to engage in a cuckold relationship with his current girlfriend. I've had the pleasure of speaking with him both in and out of phone sessions and had the sense that he would be a terrific interview. Don’t let his youngish age fool you; “kinks” is an extremely intelligent and thoughtful man who has already experienced quite a bit in the realm of D/s and erotic humiliation despite his young years.

Though not exclusively, cuckoldry is typically associated with married couples. There tend to be general themes that occur in these relationships which include but are not limited to small penis humiliation (SPH), consensual infidelity, elements of voyeurism, and threesome sex acts. Women who cuckold their men are considered dominant females and the fact that the husband or significant other seems “ok” with her having sex with men who are better capable of sexually satisfying her in turn would define the male as submissive. (Although personally, I tend to question the notion of true male submission as a cuckold at times, especially in circumstances where the husband or boyfriend is the one to initiate, suggest and/or encourage that his wife/girlfriend sleep around because it turns him on. But that's another topic for another day).

In addition to depicting various encounters where he was mocked for his penis size, “kinks” also touches on some elements of cock and ball torture which appear to play a considerable role in the erotic/sensual humiliation piece of his relationships with women. Regardless of your views on relationships between men and women, it's clear that "kinks" feels what he and his girlfriend have agreed upon works for them both.

Miz Ava: So, we have been talking a lot lately about your need to submit to a dominant woman....and that in fact, your current girlfriend cuckolds you. Can we back it up a bit so you can give the picture of how this need in you has evolved?

kinks: Sure. In my earlier and more vanilla relationships, I felt there was something missing, and ultimately I felt unfilled. Before my current girlfriend, I had probably had 5-6 semi-serious to serious girlfriends, and only two had been D/s. The other 3 or 4 were straight-laced, American-pie style relationships. When my current girlfriend came into the picture, I was fairly submissive to her, but we were still exclusive to each other for about 6-8 months, at which point she started expressing dissatisfaction in our love life, which led to the cuckolding.

Miz Ava: And can you share again the scenario of what happened with the girlfriend you had when you were about 17?

kinks: Ah, yes. When I was 17, I was your typical ego-driven high schooler, with decent athletic skill and good grades. I was, in my mind, an alpha male. My friends thought the same of me. And so I would occasionally make comments to my girlfriend, jokingly, about what a great lover I was, and how big my dick was. After a while, she must have grown tired of it, because I said something to her about being above average, and she told me to follow her to her room, where she kept her computer. She shut the door, and told me to take off my pants. I did. She then looked up online the average penis size, which she found to be 6in, and told me to look at my dick, asking if it looked to be 6in. Naturally, I said, yes, thinking I was above average. She quickly grabbed a ruler and showed me that, in fact, i was barely 5 inches. That day put everything into perspective and, I think, planted the humiliation seed

Miz Ava: Right...we've been talking about that too...how those early relationships have such a powerful impact on what we look for and how we behave in future ones

kinks: Agreed. Now, I'll admit, for a while after that incident, I was not a happy guy. I thought she was very rude for doing what she did, and I felt uncomfortable talking with her. But after a while, I realized that I was the one who had been wrong, and I shouldn't hold it against her for showing me the truth and actually helping me accept who I was/am.

Miz Ava: Very key

Miz Ava: Now this was also the girl friend who enjoyed kicking your balls, yes?

kinks: No, that was the next girlfriend. She was quite the ballbuster.

Miz Ava: Ah..ok...sorry for the mix up! Talk to me a bit about "the ballbuster" please

kinks: Well, the girl who told me I have a small dick was the first girl to whom I was a bit submissive. I think it was a natural segue from learning of my size and how she preferred larger cocks. But we eventually broke up, and I got into another relationship that, at the time, seemed fairly vanilla. That is, until she told me one day that she wanted to kick me in the nuts. I thought she was crazy, and I declined to let her kick me for about a week, trying to avoid the pain of a kick in the balls -- and my own uncertainty about her fetish. She explained how much it meant to her, and I wanted to make her happy, and it truly made me happy to see her so happy. So, after a week of hemming and hawing, I let her kick me. Which turned into a D/s relationship in which she would call the shots and, when I didn't listen, discipline me with a kick, knee, punch, etc. to my bare balls.

Miz Ava: Do you think that there is eroticism in pain?

kinks: I think you can't appreciate pleasure without experiencing some pain.

kinks: It heightens the pleasure and takes it to a new level.

Miz Ava: Wow...that's quite perceptive...I have to say I agree with you in that by experiencing pain sensations, the pleasure sensations that follow make for a much more intense experience. Does that make sense?

kinks: It does, and that's also how I feel. For instance, when she would line me up for a kick, I would be nervous because I knew exactly what was coming. She would brush the top of her foot against my ball sack to tease me and sometimes pull a couple of fake kicks before landing the real kick, which almost always put me in the floor. After that, she would usually massage my cock and balls with her foot, then with her hand some oftentimes with her mouth. And I can't even describe how amazing it felt to be taken from that kind of pain to that kind of pleasure. Phenomenal.

Miz Ava: Exactly the point I was trying to drive, though you make it much more vividly

Miz Ava: So, your current girlfriend...is there any element of pain play in this relationship?

kinks: There's an emotional element and a physical element. The physical is in her tendency to kick me in the balls. She controls when I'm allowed to jerk off, and it's not uncommon for her to say something like, "If you can't cum in 2 minutes, you'll receive a kick in the nuts as soon as you do cum." And believe me, I receive the kick in the nuts most times. She loves it. And that's become part of the routine, too, where she will hit or knee my balls if she's simply upset with me. Now, the emotional is just as scarring. You mentioned that I'm her cuckold, and she really delights in making me squirm and making me understand how useless my dick is, how much she prefers bigger cock, usually telling me the details of her latest romp with another guy. She puts me in a vulnerable state of mind and goes for my most sensitive spot -- my ego and manhood.

Miz Ava: Oh yes...the very fragile male ego

Miz Ava: Do you mind talking about what you are doing for your girlfriend tomorrow?

Miz Ava: Because I think that ties in nicely with this discussion on pain, if you feel comfortable discussing that here

kinks: Don't mind at all. She's "asked" -- which means commanded -- me to get circumcised. So, tomorrow at 10am, I'll be under the knife, so to speak. She has said time and again that she dislikes the appearance of my cock, and again, the whole procedure is an assertion of her power over me.

Miz Ava: How long did it take you to agree to go through with this? Was it something you decided on rather quickly?

kinks: Eh, she's mocked my dick in many ways for a long time. And she's made passing comments about castration, too. But those, I think, haven't been very serious. At least not yet. Haha. At any rate, she first started talking about circumcision a few months ago and how/why she wanted me to have it done. It was a pretty big decision, though I'll be the first to admit it was much more her decision than mine. The whole discussion process took about 2-3 weeks, I'd say.

Miz Ava: Interesting. And I think that it bears mentioning here that critics of adult male circumcision point out that it is in fact, common for the male to potentially have decreased sensations during sex once he has had the procedure. How do you feel about that possibility?

kinks: It's a bit scary and may also be part of my girlfriend's intention -- one more way to strip me of my manhood.

Miz Ava: I think you know my thoughts on that. I truly believe that this is part of her intent, to literally strip away another piece of your manhood.

Miz Ava: But you are willing to subject yourself to this possibility...

kinks: Yes I am. If it makes her happy.

Miz Ava: Yes...you submit to her will regardless of how it potentially impacts you.

Miz Ava: Now with the cuckolding element--had you ever had that kind of relationship before this girlfriend?

kinks: No, never. I'd had a couple girlfriends who were not pleased at all with my dick size, and they told me as much, but none of them made me their cuckold. Knowingly, that is. I suppose it's possible that any/all of them cheated on me.

Miz Ava: Tell me in your words what it means to be a cuckold male

kinks: It means putting someone else before yourself. If you have a small dick, for example, and you know your girlfriend or wife prefers large dicks, I think it's selfish to demand that she only have your own small dick in her life. I care about my girlfriend enough -- and we're comfortable enough in our relationship -- that I can still love her, perhaps love her even more, when she's with other men and thus when I know she's happy.

Miz Ava: How is it that you believe you can love her more if she is with another man? How does your ego play into this?

kinks: I can love her more because we've taken things to another level of trust and openness and acceptance. I'm accepting her for who she is and what she wants, and she does the same for me. It strengthens the bond between you. The ego is what fuels the humiliation aspect of cuckolding, because believe me, it can be very humiliating to know that you are are sexually worthless to your girlfriend or wife. Or to know that she has no respect for you as a sexual being because, say, you have a below-average dick. The ridicule that comes with a cuckolding relationship -- mainly from the girlfriend or wife, but also from friends, if they know -- is very, very intense.

Miz Ava: Why do you think there is something so sexually potent that comes with being humiliated? Do you have any thoughts or theories on why for men (typically submissive men) there is a sexual rush that comes via the various forms of humiliation?

kinks: I'm not sure I can generalize to other men, but I can try to explain how it's affected me. First, ever since the experience in HS when my then-girlfriend said I had a small dick, I have loved the feeling of vulnerability. The feeling of objectification. And to some extent, humiliation involves both because it means that someone is judging you as a person, a sexual being, etc. So, it puts you on display, so to speak, and when the humiliation is sexual in nature -- small dick, premature ejaculation, can't get it hard, etc. -- it really strikes at your ego and your manhood, making you feel very vulnerable and objectified.

Miz Ava: Yes...being put on display...objectified even...there is something so very raw in that which almost can't help but tie in with one's sexual identity

kinks: It's true. When you have a ruler against your dick, and a girl grinning, eventually telling you how small you are, it's a huge rush of humiliation and also sexual excitement.

Miz Ava: I am just so fascinated by the way that all comes together...the humiliation and the erotic

Miz Ava: Do you have time to talk a little about the first time your girlfriend truly cuckolded you? That first experience?

kinks: Let's see. The first time she cuckolded me was a very nervous time for me. I didn't know what to expect and also didn't know if she'd follow through. We'd talked about it after she informed me of how terrible I am at sex, but making it a reality is always something much different. She set up a date with a guy whom she knew was a total man whore (and also had a big dick) and allowed him to take her to his place to watch a movie. (Remember, we're in college, so it's not uncommon for a guy and a girl to just watch a movie.) Of course, she knew exactly what she wanted, and before the movie ended, she said she was sucking his cock and shortly thereafter fucking him.

I was at our apartment just waiting, doing some work and trying to keep my mind from jumping through my skull. After about 3 hours of her being gone, I heard the key in the door, and she was disheveled, and I just knew she had sealed the deal. Her hair was messed up, and her top didn't look the same as when she left. So she smiles at me and tells me to strip. I'm naked within a nano-second, (laughs) and she walked over to give me a kiss, wetter than usual, and told me that she had sucked his cock and swallowed. Which I believed because I could taste his cum. Talk about making it real for me. There was no doubt she had done the deed. Meanwhile, I'm rock hard, and she's stroking me a bit, telling me a few details at a time -- how big he was, how strong, how he can last much longer than me -- and then directs me to the bedroom, where she kindly jerked me off.

kinks: The next morning, we had a talk (when we were less horny, more sound of mind) to discuss the previous night, and ultimately decided that cuckolding was the right kind of lifestyle for us.

Miz Ava: So you would say with a fair degree of certainty, that cuckolding has been a way to intensify the sexual side of your relationship...both for your girlfriend and for you?

kinks: Oh yes, for both of us. Which sounds so strange at face value because I haven't been allowed to have sex in a long, long time. I only get handjobs and the very, very rare blowjob.

Miz Ava: And the way you are allowed sexual release...this is based on a kind of reward system, yes?

kinks: Yes. I'm only allowed release when she believes I've earned it, sometimes the result of doing things for her, buying things for her, or generally good behavior. It's also supervised. When it's not a handjob or blowjob, she watches me jerk off.

Miz Ava: Right, you had mentioned that…about her watching...now, when you jerk off in front of her, she is verbally humiliating you, correct?

kinks: Uh huh. Most of the time she's ridiculing me for having to fuck other men, for my having a cock that can't satisfy her, for my having small balls -- things along that line.

Miz Ava: I know you are running late...so before we wrap up, is there anything we haven't touched on that you'd like to discuss or add?

kinks: Hmmm. I guess If I were to add one thing, I would ask you your opinion of small penis humiliation -- why it's effective, some ways to do it -- and of what size and below is worthy of humiliation. I know most guys into the fetish, and many who read the interview, will be curious about that.

Miz Ava: Ahh...clever way to get me to reveal my thoughts on Small Penis Humiliation

Miz Ava: Sure, I will give my theories

kinks: Excellent

Miz Ava: I think that a lot of why SPH is effective comes down to the kind of society we live in...and the general expectations (and stereoytypes) we associate with gender

Miz Ava: At risk of sounding overly feminist, Western society is and has been patriarchal through the ages...there is a notion of masculine power dominating the way the world works

Miz Ava: We associate masculinity with virility...and it doesn't take much to see the covert and overt symbols in society that hail the concept of a man with a big penis is a powerful man in his own right

Miz Ava: So, “attacking” a man at this core place of identity is so powerful...I mean, you and I have talked about ego…

Miz Ava: And I would hypothesize that for men who get off on being humiliated in this way...its really a sign of their need to let a woman take over...society is pretty rough on males, expectations are very high, I’m confident even you would agree with at least that much

Miz Ava: There is a serious imbalance of power and gender inequality throughout the world...and for some men, I think that it is actually recognized on some levels

Miz Ava: And it frees them to give their *power* over to a female...and in that liberation, there is a sense of release...could be sexual, but not necessarily

Miz Ava: Now, as for size

Miz Ava: I’ve told you about how I personally prefer girth to length....say, if a guy is in the 5 inch range but is thick around, I could work with that

Miz Ava: And if we are going with the concept or statistic that 6 inch is the average penis size, well then according to that, anyone under 6 inches would be inadequate, right?

kinks: *Sigh* Yes, under 6 is inadequate. And we all know my size.

Miz Ava: Yes we do now (smiles)

Miz Ava: So for me...if I wanted to humiliate a man for having a small dick---

Miz Ava: It wouldn't just be about spewing a litany of insults...that's too easy

Miz Ava: And I think this basically ties in to my domination style/style of erotic humiliation approaches, I'd be much more inclined to mess with the guy's head (the one atop his shoulders)

Miz Ava: And let him know in subtle ways he's not a real man....(whatever a real man is supposed to be anyway)

Miz Ava: Peppering in comments about his so-called “little” dick for extra impact

Miz Ava: That's how I'd approach it if I were in such a situation and if SPH were an element we wanted to explore

kinks: I'm curious, this doesn't have to be for the interview, but would measuring play any role in it? That's been a favorite of my girlfriend.

Miz Ava: Sure, why not? I mean, visual evidence...how much more concrete can you get?

kinks: Not much. (laughs) I'm terrified of rulers.

Miz Ava: I'll have to remember that next time we have a session...maybe I'll have you bring a ruler and I'll ask you to tap your cock with it in between strokes...that blends our discussion of pleasure, pain, and humiliation quite nicely, don't you think? (wink)

kinks: As long as you don't make me measure myself....

Miz Ava: Oh come on. If I wanted you to, you would

Miz Ava: And you know it

kinks: I would, and I would report the results to you immediately -- and would report them to anyone else you wanted to know.

Miz Ava: Nice

kinks: (grins)

Miz Ava: I also wanted to ask you if you consider cuckolding the same thing as cheating. How do you view this?

kinks: Well, it depends. The dictionary definition would imply that someone who has been cheated on is officially a cuckold. But I tend to think a cuckold is someone who knows of his girlfriend's or wife's affairs and who accepts it.

Miz Ava: Interesting answer

Miz Ava: I mean, some people will say anytime a partner has sexual relations with someone other than their significant other, its cheating...but others would say it doesn’t *really* constitute cheating if all parties are aware and consenting

kinks: No, I don't think that's cheating because cheating itself means you're doing something wrong. And if all parties consent, it may go against some social folkway, but that doesn't make it inherently wrong. It just means you're going against the grain and doing what's best for you.

Miz Ava: Very well put

kinks: Thanks

Miz Ava: You seem to have a pretty positive, healthy attitude...that's impressive

kinks: I'm at the point now where I'm accepting of who I am and I'm pretty comfortable with things.

Miz Ava: That pretty much means everything though

kinks: Let me ask you this one thing -- do you think some men are born cuckolds?

Miz Ava: I think that if you are tying in a gender/biological element, like for example, if we are talking about a bisexual cuckold, there may be something to that. Or, put it this way: if a man is born gay and has always been drawn to other men sexually and uses the cuckold relationship to get that, it would seem there might be a bit of biological destiny involved (that is, if you believe that people are born gay and don’t ‘become’ gay). Of course, you could also say that if a male is born with a small cock that never matures into what is considered the norm for size, then there might be a sense of biological and psychological imperative there as well

Miz Ava: Does that make sense?

kinks: The latter is what I was mostly wondering about, yeah. Basically, if perhaps I was born a cuckold.

Miz Ava: Well, if we take everything we've talked about into consideration, then it would appear that you were born to be exactly where you are

Miz Ava: A sense of the inevitable, perhaps

kinks: Very interesting. And you would say part of it is because of my size?

Miz Ava: Well yes...essentially...and in that it would be a sort of biological imperative for you...however you cannot deny that there is a socially constructed piece to it as well

kinks: Absolutely, I agree on both counts. The social aspect is more tangible and understandable to me, while I've always wondered more generally if guys with small dicks -- all of them -- would be better suited for cuckolding than a traditional relationship.

Miz Ava: Now you're sounding almost a bit Darwinian

Miz Ava: Survival of the thickest? (winks)

kinks: Haha...exactly!

Miz Ava: But you see where I’m going with this?

kinks: Oh yeah, the small dicks will serve while the big reproduce

Miz Ava: Exactly

Miz Ava: Lots of interesting connections here, fascinating areas to explore

kinks: I've wondered if my girlfriend will ever let me have children with her....not sure

Miz Ava: Well, you'd have to be having sex with her first of all, so...

Miz Ava: I mean, would she be willing to allow that act just so you two could have a family? I don't know....that's something personal to your relationship

kinks: I'm really not sure....she may instead have a larger guy impregnate her, which honestly seems more likely to me

Miz Ava: This wouldn't be uncommon in a cuckold scenario

kinks: Really? I didn’t know that

Miz Ava: Take a look at this when you have time:
http://www.theinternetcollege.org/tic_letter22.htm#wifewith

Miz Ava: There's an interesting part on evolutionary theory/cuckoldry

kinks: Thank you very much, I'll be sure to give it a thoughtful read!!

Miz Ava: Sure thing

Miz Ava: And thank you for participating in this interview...its been a pleasure to speak with you

kinks: It's been great. You're a lot of fun and very smart, too.

A Sissy Named Pantysue

empressava29@aol.com (Miz Ava) — Fri, 18 May 2007 00:42:00 +0000

To me gender is not physical at all, but is altogether insubstantial. It is soul, perhaps, it is talent, it is taste, it is environment, it is how one feels, it is light and shade, it is inner music. . . ~ Jan Morris

Today's discussion and interview are brought to The Erotic and Sensual Humiliation Newsletter courtesy of a very vivacious, open, and animated sissy male who goes by the nickname of Pantysue.

Pantysue has been exploring femaleness in recent years in a myriad of ways. She enjoys talking about the different steps taken to cultivate and nurture the need she has to experience a kind of "escape" that allows her to satisfy her cravings for things feminine.

There are a variety of forms sissy-hood takes. As you will read, a man who identifies himself as a sissy is not necessarily a homosexual. In fact, for many sissies it is about the rush that comes with surrendering their masculine tendencies (even if for a brief duration) in front of and for the benefit and amusement of an efficacious woman. Whether a sissy male puts on panties or women's clothing, shaves some or all of his body hair, styles his hair in a feminine manner or enjoys having his Mistress penetrate him with a strap-on dildo, the main theme seems to be one of relinquishing control of the perceived masculine. Some sissies have no desire to include men in their fantasies or experiences and others express this is something they relish. Yet other sissies simply enjoy the commaradarie afforded to them by sharing "female" oriented activities and past times through good old fashioned girl talk with women who may or may not neccesarily be Mistresses or domme's.

In a society where sexuality is an oft debated topic, one might wonder why a man (whether he is heterosexual, bisexual or gay) would want to deliberately subject himself to potentially humiliating encounters which ultimately flip notions of gender and sexuality on their collective heads. Yet, I think that within that very statement lies, at least partially, the explanation. Let's face it people, in the majority of the Western world even today, we still believe that men are supposed to be strong, aggressive, powerful, dynamic and in charge--all of the time. That's a lot of pressure. There is also something subversively satisfying about behaving in the opposite way of how society expects a person to present him or herself based on the gender they were born with. For the sissy male, regardless of whether it is a lifestyle choice or a temporary retreat from the societal imposed restrictions of gender, embracing a feminine approach to relating in the world can be a necessary way to just....let...go. Add to that the fantasy element of being "forced" to surrender one's masculinity and submit their will to their domme, and you have the makings of a potent power exchange between the sissy male and the dominant who is directing the scene.

***************************

Miz Ava: Thanks for agreeing to be interviewed, pantysue. Let me start by asking you what prompted you to explore what it meant to be a sissy/submissive?

pantysue: I loved wearing lingerie from a very young age... started to like the look of femdoms in my late teens. Eventually the two came together and being the sissy submissive was where I felt the most at home...

Miz Ava: How would you define the word "sissy"?

pantysue: A male who wants to act and dress as a female, but knows that being able to truly live as a female will never happen... but he still somewhat relishes the thought of trying! He also would enjoy wearing pretty lacy frilly stuff so that there is no question!

Miz Ava: Would you say there is a difference between a sissy and a cross-dressing (CD) male?

pantysue: Oh yes...

Miz Ava: Please share your thoughts and feelings on this...because a lot of people believe these are the same.

pantysue: There are lots of forms of crossdressing... many cross-dressing males are sincerely trying to pass as females

pantysue: A sissy isn't necessarily trying to pass... unless Mistress wants it so

pantysue: I think the sissy aspect of crossdressing is also more of a humiliation sort of thing. In the same way being dressed as a maid has more of an erotic theme to it than just crossdressing, being a sissy has a similar theme but for me it is more of a humiliation thing...

pantysue: I also enjoy hearing Mistress tell me about the boobies I will never have, but how cute I look in my training bra trying... or how silly my sissy clitty is!

Miz Ava: So for you, the humiliation piece is very powerful and desirable

Miz Ava: Would you say that perhaps there is a difference between a sissy and a CD, in that a sissy wants to *be* a girl where a CD just wants to try to look like one, even if for a temporary moment?

pantysue: Sometimes... but for me it is as simple as the difference between wearing a black thong or lacy pink panties with a pretty bow on them. A CD might be trying to look like a real passable woman in the best way s/he could... a sissy doesn't mind that everyone knows s/he is not a woman!

Miz Ava: Ah, that's a very key point

pantysue: As for the humiliation part... it varies. Sometimes that is fun, other times just "girl talk" is fun. I love to do all sorts of things!

Miz Ava: Does the humiliation element become erotic for you when you engage in it with a Mistress?

pantysue: Without a doubt... can I use You as an example Miz Ava?

Miz Ava: Certainly, pantysue

pantysue: Well You do have such lovely breasts.... having me tell You how beautiful they are, and then You telling me that I can only dream of having such lovely breasts would get me going. Comparing my AA bra to Yours... that sort of thing... maybe even having me buy a bra for You and sending to You

pantysue: There are lots of places this humilation can go...

Miz Ava: It sounds like for you, being humiliated has more to do with hearing/knowing that you essentially lack something...the certain physical traits of femaleness---is that correct?

pantysue: Yes... All of You Mistresses are so gorgeous!

pantysue: I guess it is the opposite of penis envy?

Miz Ava: You know, that's a good way of looking at it! I never quite thought of it that way. So, what are some of the other places humiliation can go for you?

pantysue: There is the shopping humiliation... having to ask the sales lady to help me find the right bra

Miz Ava: The public humiliation....very, very powerful

pantysue: Just going into the nail salon was humiliating... but I got way over that! Also, having to wear my cock cage in publicmakes me feel somewhat humiliated.

Miz Ava: In your blog you mentioned becoming more comfortable with shopping, are you finding it to be easier to go out and buy girlie items?

pantysue: Each time things get easier... but that is why Ms Grace will keep adding a twist to my next assignment. Keeps this sissy on the edge

Miz Ava: Yes, that is very key

pantysue: Never pushing too far... just enough!

Miz Ava: Exactly, there is a balance

pantysue: But I should tell You one thing that may have been as erotic as anything!

Miz Ava: Oh please do!

pantysue: The first time Ms Grace had me take my bubble bath and all, she made me wrap the towel around myself as a woman would wrap a towel around her body...I had the towel around my boobies and this was as erotic as anything! It was such a simple gesture, but certainly something that helps make the wo/man!

Miz Ava: Very often those simple gestures are the most potent ones

Miz Ava: Now, tell me....do you enjoy dressing fully in female clothing or do you prefer the lingerie, accessories to full female attire?

pantysue: I have done it, but I am really not passable...

Miz Ava: Have you ever gone out dressed in full?

pantysue: Most of the time it is panties and bra with falsies and a nightie...I've never gone out dressed other than wearing panties. Another simple thing I enjoy is wearing women's deodrant.

Miz Ava: Very nice!! Do you often wear panties/bras/lingerie under your regular masculine attire?

pantysue: As much as I can... its hard to hide the bra though

Miz Ava: That is true. What are some of your favorite pieces of underthings/lingerie?

pantysue: I just had this pink satin training bra custom made for me through eBay... it is sooooo sweet! Also, all of my panties have to be either pink, have flowers on them or lace. that is part of the sissy thing in my mind. A CD could wear "Jockey for Her" and someone might not think twice if they were seen. Lacy pink panties on the other hand...

Miz Ava: Right...there is no mistaking what wearing lacy pink panties represents

pantysue: I love wearing heels too...I was actually surprised how easy it was for me!

Miz Ava: Do you have many pairs of women's shoes?

pantysue: No... just a pair of heels and a pair of jeweled sandals. I would love to get a pair of the mirabou slippers though... pink of course!

Miz Ava: Of course (smiles)

Miz Ava: Tell me what it was like when you went for that first pedicure....what was going through your head when you were in the salon, waiting for them to call on you?

pantysue: Probably the biggest thing was hoping no one I knew came in....

Miz Ava: Were there many people there that day?

pantysue: No... just two other women, both getting manicures. I was the only one getting a pedicure.Once it started it was great... but asking for the top coat was a little scary. But just like with shopping... each time gets easier! At my pedi last week, I even asked for a light pink polish!

Miz Ava: That must have been an exciting step for you

Miz Ava: How did you feel the women who worked in the salon behaved toward you, that first visit?

pantysue: She was actually fine... the second one was more chatty with me. I think if a sissy feels at ease the women around her do too!

Miz Ava: That's a very perceptive thing to notice. And it makes a lot of sense

pantysue: I am pretty comfortable about most of thsese things... even asking for XL panties at Victoria's Secret. Did You know that they don't carry XL in their stores except for some of the granny type in the far back?

Miz Ava: No, I didn't know that....

pantysue: See what You learn chatting with pantysue!

Miz Ava: I love learning new things!

pantysue: I searched dozens of drawers at one VS.... finally asked the sales lady at the second one!

Miz Ava: Did you find a nice pair or were you stuck with the granny panties?

pantysue: I also went to Macy's... they have more of my size

Miz Ava: Tell me, is there anyone in your life that knows of this part of you?

pantysue: No one knows of this sissy school part of me...

Miz Ava: What brought you to the Sissy School site?

pantysue: It is so opposite from the me in my business world!

pantysue: The first site I actually looked into was Xtra Talk with MsJane.... it was pretty cool, but She stopped taking calls, so I kept searching. Was with House of Sissification for some time... but when I saw the Mistresses at SissySchool I was hooked!

Miz Ava: And how long ago was this?

pantysue: Probably in and out for a couple of years!

Miz Ava: Wow...pretty cool!

pantysue: No matter what other sites I try...I always seem to come back!

Miz Ava: Well, its nice to have you with us! Now you mentioned just a moment ago...about how thisside of you is quite the opposite of how you present in your work world

pantysue: Yes?

Miz Ava: Do you feel that it helps to have this separate from the other areas of your life...like engaging in sissy activity is a way for you to relax and unwind? Or would you prefer to have this overlap with the rest of your life, if you didn't have to worry about dealing with issues other people might have?

pantysue: It is absolutely the relax and escape thing... Ms Grace joked about how She gets home and takes off Her bra to relax, I get to my hotel and put mine on to relax!

Miz Ava: Oh, that is classic!!

Miz Ava: So would you want this to be a part of your daily life, if you knew there wouldn't be repurcussions?

pantysue: I am not sure about that part of the question, but I think just having this fantasy played out every once in a while keeps it fun and special!

Miz Ava: That's a very interesting thing you just said

pantysue: I do like my real life.... it has been pretty good to me! It affords me the opportunity to spend all the time I do with the Mistresses

pantysue: So much of what is erotic is in the head... anticipation of things can really be great!

Miz Ava: I understand. I do wonder that if what makes this work for you is the fact that it is something you choose to do as a way of treating yourself....like you said, indulging in the fantasy once in a while makes it more special. Oh I agree....the brain is the most potent sexual organ we have!

Miz Ava: Anticipation is a huge factor in building up toward fantasy, I agree

pantysue: There does need to be that little edge... trying something new each time. Although doing things like the bubble bath and reading Glamour always work

Miz Ava: I think we all like to be able to push boundaries a little more in these kinds of scenarios....there is a rush that comes with challenging yourself in new ways, isn't there?

pantysue: I just am not sure if I am ready to try that fuck-me-red nail polish yet!

Miz Ava: Baby steps, sweet pantysue...baby steps

Miz Ava: By the way, where did the name pantysue come from? I know you love panties...but how did you arrive at the screen name?

pantysue: Not exactly sure, but probably from "Peggy Sue" figured it was a cute name...

pantysue: There probably is something else we should discuss...

Miz Ava: Sure, go right ahead

pantysue: I like to be made to suck a dildo and even get fucked... but I'm not into men. Its strictly the strap-on for me!

Miz Ava: I'm glad you brought that up....many people have a misconception about the sexuality aspect-- just because someone is a sissy, that does not automatically imply they are into men

pantysue: There is something about being in panties and bra on my knees, mouth around the dildo staring up at a Mistresses beautiful breasts...well... that just about covers it all!

Miz Ava: Well I think it comes back to a need you have to get lost in a more submissive side of your personality...even if only temporarily

pantysue: There is something about being denied access to Your pussy too that is erotic... because we both know you are saving it for a real man!

Miz Ava: Denial can be a powerful tool...and combined with the right touch of humiliation...it can be a heady experience

pantysue: You aren't even asking questions now! It's like I am on Your couch...

Miz Ava: Ahhhh pantysue..."Dr." Ava has ways of getting you to reveal all to me....(laughs)

Miz Ava: Tell me....what do you enjoy best about this part of your life?

pantysue: My whole life or this part?

Miz Ava: The sissy part

pantysue: It changes I guess....used to be just putting on the lingerie.. right now though I am enjoying giving myself up to Ms Grace. I never thought I would enjoy cock control, but there is something erotic about Her controling me.

Miz Ava: Yes, giving up control like that is often very erotic

pantysue: The other night, She let me take off the cage.... get right to the brink then made me put it back on. It was an excrutiating night, but instead of the hotel wake up call, it came from Her! Once She let me remove the cage it took no time!

Miz Ava: Wow....that is very intense!

pantysue: It sure was...

Miz Ava: Is there anything you can think of that we haven't touched on that you'd like to discuss before we wrap up?

pantysue: I can't think of anything in particular... so am I pretty typical?

Miz Ava: Yes, I think you are typical in the way you describe how you enjoy the fantasy aspect and how this becomes a way for you to indulge in a more submissive part of yourself

Miz Ava: I also think that you are unique in that you are open about wanting to keep an edge to your experiences...you seem to like pushing the envelope just a bit...even if you are not completely sure what those boundaries are beforehand

pantysue: Makes it exciting...

Miz Ava: Which offers the opportunity for some pretty amazing experiences!

pantysue: What's the worst thing that is going to happen in Victoria's Secret? They actually find a AA and XL matching bra and panty set?

Miz Ava: Right! Now that's putting things into perspective!

Miz Ava: I think we all owe it to ourselves to live 'outside of the box' once in a while...otherwise we become stale, dull and even a little sad

Miz Ava: There really are so many ways to explore sexuality

pantysue: We sure do need to explore... maybe I will even try the fuck me red sometime!

Miz Ava: Ya never know...

pantysue: Bet You look good in it though!

Miz Ava: The most important thing is that you are happy with where you are, pantysue

Miz Ava: And red is a good color for me, yes

pantysue: I couldn't be happier...

Miz Ava: But you have a good balance on things...that is key

pantysue: Good balance and a little edge....

Miz Ava: Ahhh....the very best two things in combination!!

Miz Ava: So much possibility exists in that

Miz Ava: You have been such a pleasure to talk to

pantysue: Thank You Mistress... it has been this sissy's pleasure!

********

On a final note, I just would like to request that all readers keep in mind that these interviews are meant to be entertaining, informative and ideally educational. If the subject matter of today's (or any day's) newsletter if offensive or if a reader does not agree with the interviewees lifestyle choice, I simply ask that an attitude of tolerance be maintained and that flaming or harrassing of any kind be refrained from.

Exploring The Clothed Female/Naked Male Fetish

empressava29@aol.com (Miz Ava) — Wed, 16 May 2007 10:56:00 +0000

"Walk Nude, and people won't need to undress you with their eyes. "~ anonymous

This will be the first interview in an ongoing series exploring the various nuances, complexities, experiences, and tastes that make up the context of D/s exchanges, BDSM, fetishes and the desire for humiliation in various erotic scenarios.

In this first interview, I spoke with Jay, a 49 year old male who discusses his nearly life-long "clothed female naked male" (CFNM) fetish. CFNM is one of those fetishes that does not appear to have gone mainstream, as of yet. Many men who seek CFNM encounters seem to enjoy the experience of being naked, exposed and even somewhat vulnerable in front of a confident, domimant and clothed woman. Sometimes they are required to perform certain acts of servitude for the clothed female while they are naked, other times they may even be directed to do various tasks, some sexual in nature, some not. Other men appear to enjoy being forced into engaging in various degrees of humiliating acts while they are naked in front of the clothed female.

Jay recently has been bringing this form of erotic fantasy and humiliation into a more regular practice in his life. Jay placed on ad on Craig's List not long ago seeking a Mistress who might indulge him in this fetish. Though Craig's List, he met such a woman, and for the past couple of months, Jay and his Mistress have been engaging in various CFNM scenarios.

Throughout our interview, it becomes apparent that through exploring the CFNM fetish, Jay was able to reach a level of submission by being objectified by his the females in his life when he is placed in the more vulnerable position of presenting himself in the nude to women while she/they remain clothed, and essentially in complete control over Jay and his sexuality.

**************

Miz Ava: We were talking the other day about the ad you placed on Craig's List and the women you've met...you mentioned your current Mistress is somewhat younger than you?

Jay: (laughs) Right, I'm 49 she is 38....she answered an ad I placed about CFNM

Miz Ava: And you enjoy submitting to someone younger than you?

Jay: Yes I do, even though I'm older she treats me like I'm younger

Miz Ava: Which is a pretty fascinating dynamic

Jay: Very much so

Miz Ava: Have you had many other relationships where the woman was significantly younger?

Jay: A couple of years ago but that was more of a romantic situation, not like this

Miz Ava: So that was a more "traditional" relationship for you then?

Jay: Yes

Miz Ava: Have you been in situations similar to this current relationship...like, where you have been in a more overt submissive role?

Jay: Not for this long its usually "one and done"

Jay: She has control of me and she knows it

Miz Ava: So its usually a one time situation for you....until this time

Jay: Yes

Miz Ava: Tell me more about your desire to explore CFNM situations. When did you realize this was something that excited you?

Jay: A female friend told me about it a couple of years ago

Miz Ava: Do you remember how the topic was brought up?

Jay: Well actually this has some roots with me.... I never knew what I desired and enjoyed all these years was called "CFNM"

Miz Ava: I see...

Jay: We were talking about our childhoods and different things kids did

Miz Ava: Can you talk to be a little about where you think this stems from for you?

Jay: As we discussed things about when we were younger... I had two older sisters I was the yougest of three

Jay: And as they got older my parents trusted them, especially the older one, to baby sit me rather than to pay someone else

Jay: It started out with seemingly harmless things....they used to tickle me some but not much more... just my sides and feet and arm pits

Miz Ava: Ok

Jay: One day, my parents were going to a wedding and my sisters were going to watch over me all day and night

Miz Ava: Yes

Jay: I remember how it seemed like my sisters got excited to make sure I got my bath

Miz Ava: So they seemed to get excited over the idea of you taking your bath

Jay: Yes

Miz Ava: What was it they did or said that made you know they were excited about this?

Jay: Just from the way they talked about it

Miz Ava: Ok

Jay: I was so damn scared

Miz Ava: What scared you?

Jay: Well first off, I was outnumbered and they were the opposite sex

Miz Ava: Right

Jay: So they got their orders from my parents and I was told to make sure I listen to them

Miz Ava: Sure and you knew that essentially your well being was in their hands

Jay: Yes

Miz Ava: So they had that leverage over you too

Jay: Yes, so after that my day proceeded as normal I went over a neighbors house to play

Jay: It got to be about 5 pm, and my friends neighbor said my sister called and was coming to get me

Miz Ava: Yes..

Jay: I had forgotten about my sisters babysitting me

Miz Ava: Ah, ok

Jay: I began to think and got scared

Miz Ava: And then what happened?

Jay: I went home they had dinner ready and as we had dessert, the oldest told me to take my bath after dinner. They did not want me to get it too late

Miz Ava: Of course

Jay: After dinner, I put on the tv and my one sister went upstairs and I heard the water running
Miz Ava: Yes, go on...

Jay: Soon, the other sister said, "ok lets go"

Jay: In my head I thought, what is going on here? Why are they both helping me?

Miz Ava: Did you not expect them to?

Jay: I figured one of them would

Miz Ava: I see...it struck you as odd that both would be involved in bath time

Jay: So I walked upstairs with my sister behind me...and went to my room which is down the hall from the bathroom

Jay: Neither followed me into my room, but eventually one came back to tell me to hurry up because she needed my clothes to wash

Jay: So I had my tshirt and undies left on and I asked her, should I just drop them right here? And she said "yes"

Miz Ava: Had you ever been nude in front of either of them like that before?

Jay: In a casual way but my parents were always in the house before

Miz Ava: Ok

Jay: So I was nude and she glanced over and said go getinto your bath as she picked up my clothes. I hurried down the hall and entered the bathroom, but my other sister was not there

Jay: I felt relieved and I closed the door and got in the tub

Jay:I began to wash and for a moment my fears left me. But I heard the door creak open and they were both outside asking if i was ok

Jay: I told them yes, I was. Then the oldest sister walked in and said my mom wanted her to check to make sure I had washed my hair

Jay :I told her I was fine but she proceeded to reach for the shampoo

Jay: She sat on the tub and watched as I finished washing up and she began to wet my head and wash my hair. Of course I closed my eyes, so I never knew if she was looking at me

Miz Ava: But you probably sensed she was

Jay: Yes

Jay: That was the beginning of it. After that, it seemed like there were somehow situations where I often was naked in front of one or both of them

Miz Ava: And so this memory of you being exposed in front of them seems to have planted the seed for your adult fantasies?

Jay: I think so, since I was convinced that they enjoyed seeing me naked

Miz Ava: Interesting....its as if knowing of their enjoyment contributed to yours as well on some levels

Jay: Yes

Miz Ava: Did you ever feel humiliated at all by any of this?

Jay: At the very beginning, yes

Miz Ava: But then something shifted....and you began to associate a kind of pleasure with being naked or on display in front of clothed females

Jay: Yes, that's right

Miz Ava: Besides the current one, would you characterize any of your adult relationships as ones where you were knowingly submissive to your partner?

Jay:A few times I experienced that with my former wife

Miz Ava: Can you explain that a bit?

Jay: She knew how much I loved her and enjoyed her sexual advancements toward me

Miz Ava: So you preferred her to take a more dominating role in terms of your sexual relationship?

Jay: Oh yes

Miz Ava: And she was comfortable with this?

Jay: I think so. For example, she told me how she loved to perform oral sex, but she didn't enjoy my pubic hairs getting into her mouth and she asked me if it was ok to trim my pubic hair or consider becoming smooth for her. I told her it was not a problem so we made a date after work and she shaved me bald.

Jay: We both loved it

Miz Ava: And you felt this was an act of submission toward her?

Jay: I did because I had never even trimmed down there let alone shave it all off

Miz Ava: Right, that was a big step for you!

Jay: Yes but she made it easy and I have to admit I liked it because she liked it so much

Miz Ava: Of course...and it wasn't as though you were forced into this

Jay: Right

Miz Ava: And she was encouraging, which helps

Jay: Yes, and sometimes she would order to me to do things like remove my bath towel in front of her or she'd lie on the bed bed and look under the covers at me naked

Miz Ava: Was she clothed when she would do those things to you?

Jay: Yes. Then, it was about a month or so after that when she brought up the idea of bondage

Miz Ava: Interesting

Jay: I thought so

Miz Ava: So what happened from there?

Jay: She would use my ties to tie me up and leave me lying spread eagle and she'd just tease me

Miz Ava: And how did that go?

Jay: It was nice but also frustrating. She enjoyed bringing me to the brink and stopping and starting over and doing it all again

Miz Ava: So she would control your orgasm

Jay: Yes

Miz Ava: Did she ever deny you outright?

Jay: No, but sometimes I thought she was going to

Miz Ava: And that's the exciting (though agonizing) part...not knowing what she might do and just surrendering your will like that

Jay: Yes and eventually I became ok with it, and succomed to her desire to get my penis fully erect and leaking and then she'd just go away and leave me like that

Miz Ava: Sounds like some serious teasing. Were there other ways she dominated you?

Jay: At family affairs she would bring it up our sex life to her siblings. She even had me show her sister my shaved cock and balls

Miz Ava: Wow. And so you were then displayed in front of her sister

Jay: Yes

Miz Ava: Was that humiliating for you?

Jay: Well it was obvious they wanted to see my penis

Miz Ava: So would you say you felt objectified?

Jay: Yes, but I did like this more as time went on

Miz Ava: So it excited you just the same

Jay: When I was naked in front of my wife, all it would take was for her to just talk to me and without any physcial contact I'd get an erection

Miz Ava: What would she say to you?

Jay: How great I looked... and asking me whether my erection bothered me

Jay: She enjoyed me getting arosued with out any contact. Sometimes she would tell me to go our bedroom and wait for her. When she'd come upstairs, she'd tell me to undress. She would stay dressed and would sit down and talk to me and play with my cock during this time.

Miz Ava: So how long were you married to your ex wife?

Jay: 22 years

Miz Ava: Wow, that's quite a long time! Can I ask why the relationship ended?

Jay: She began cheating on me with her boss

Miz Ava: Oh, ok

Jay: Toward the end we had not had sex for a while

Miz Ava: I understand

Miz Ava: So by the time your marriage ended, you had actually expereinced CFNM scenarios quite a bit

Jay: Yes, that's right

Miz Ava: Did you consciously think of what you were doing as an act of submission?

Jay: No, but I realized I like to be controlled by women who enjoy doing this

Miz Ava: I see. Now today, you would recognize that these are submissive tendencies that you have?

Jay: Oh yes. But now I succumb to them.

Miz Ava: Yes, you have become comfortable in your submission

Jay: Very much so

Miz Ava: Why do you think it fits you so well?

Jay: I enjoy pleasing women that enjoy having their way with me. My current mistress has talked about sharing me.

Miz Ava: And you've had what seems to be a lifelong history of being in situations where women have objectified you and this has brought you a lot of pleasure

Jay: Yes, this does

Miz Ava: So you've associated your submission with something pleasurable, erotic even

Jay: Yes, exactly

Miz Ava: Now the younger lady you are currently seeing---when you got together with her, was it established right away that you were in a Mistress/Submissive relationship?

Jay: Yes I put an ad on Craig's List for a CFNM relationship, not for a girlfriend

Miz Ava: Right

Miz Ava: And she responded with the intent of becoming your Mistress

Jay: Yes. At the beginning she liked the fact I could be around her while I was nude and she did not owe me anything or have any sexual obligtaion toward me.

Jay: She told me she liked looking at naked men

Miz Ava: Has she been naked in front of you?

Jay: Not fully yet

Jay: I've given her back massages, nothing else

Miz Ava: And you've been seeing her for how long?

Jay: 6 weeks

Miz Ava: Yes, ok

Jay: I've washed and made love to her feet

Miz Ava: Nice

Jay: Yes, she shows her appreciation

Miz Ava: And she has mentioned sharing you at some point?

Jay: She has, yes

Miz Ava: And how do you feel about this?

Jay: Its fine. She has a close friend of who is over weight and had not been with a guy for some time

Miz Ava: And what would your role be in that?

Jay: To do whatever she asks me to do

Miz Ava: I see

Miz Ava: What do you think makes a good submissive? What are some important traits?

Jay: You must be a good listener and be able to take orders as specified by others

Jay: For me I enjoy being a sub to the female gender

Miz Ava: Yes, you clearly have some strong feelings tied in with female superiority

Jay: Yes and I'm fine with it

Miz Ava: And there is nothing wrong with that!

Jay: Thank you.

Miz Ava: Wow, you've shared so much with me! This has been just great. Thank you.

*******

And for the record, to be true to his fetish, Jay did offer to expose himself and masturbate on his webcam for me toward the conclusion of our interview. I explained to him that this is not something acceptable for an informal occasion such as these interviews, but this is something that many clients of Phone Humiliation enjoy doing for Mistresses during their sessions.

Boot Worship Humilation Audio

empressava29@aol.com (Miz Ava) — Sat, 24 Mar 2007 18:03:00 +0000

One of the more common humiliation fetishes I encounter is boot and/or foot worship. Of course, this does not imply that all scenarios where a submissive is worshipping a Mistressess boot/shoes/feet have to be humiliating. Still, I think at its most basic level, the average person (whoever that is!) would very likely associate worshipping these body parts with a more lowly connotation. Prior to his betrayal and crucifixition, Christ himself performed a feet washing ceremony on the disciple "whom he loved" and in this act humbled himself in a way not typically characterstic of a Savoir or King. The foot is often a dirty part of the body and to cleasnse, touch or lick this body part, exemplifies not only a sense of servitude but also ilicits feelings of intense humility.

In this latest podcast, I describe such a scenario.

Cruelly yours,
The Malignatrix

Humiliation Vs. Embarassment; Pt. II

empressava29@aol.com (Miz Ava) — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 18:45:00 +0000

I am inclined to believe that when it comes to dissecting the tenets of humiliation vs. embarrassment, embarrassment is something that occurs more on the surface. Humiliation takes place on a deeper level, hitting at the very core of one's being. Egos are more often involved in simple embarrassment, whereas one's ideas of self concept and values get shaken through exposure to humiliation. The boy who asks a girl to dance only to be rejected by a "no, thank you" perhaps feels embarrassed for a short time afterward. The boy who asks a girl to dance only to be laughed at by she and her friends for having the nerve to think this cheerleader goddess would be caught dead dancing with the likes of him--that boy will become more familiar with the concept of humiliation. I also tend to think that when we are talking about embarrassment we are referring to things that impact one's psyche in the short term, perhaps immediately following the incident, but not necessarily for much longer. When referring to the effects of humiliation, the impact is of a longer lasting duration and often creates a shift in one's outlook and ideas of self perception.

Does it do any good to analyze all of this? Perhaps. Perhaps not. Do we need to intellectualize why or how certain things have the power to make us feel or respond in certain ways? Not necessarily. Do I love to analyze the psychology of eroticism--you bet! I am a social scientist at heart and will never tire of trying to figure out what makes people tick cognitively AND emotionally.

I'd also be willing to posit a theory that the higher one's intellect is the more inclined he or she may be to participate in forms of BDSM and erotic humiliation; either as the humilator or humiliatee. The more we evolve in our technology and our capacity to take in massive amounts of information grows, the more we need to push other boundaries. (The writings of a Canadian philosophy professor by the name of Mark Kingwell explore how current events and "extreme" behaviors and acts are a mere reflection of the anxiety society feels because for all of our modern day advancements, we have simply become removed from ourselves and one another) The more we feel removed from one another and even from ourselves, the more extreme our desires can get. Though, as a playmate of mine recently pointed out, there is a very delicate balance to be had when playing these games. It is easy to over do it and if the spirit in which erotic humiliation or other forms of BDSM are partaken in happen to be of a downright mean and abusive nature, then it is more likely that it will not produce the intended (positive) result.

Cruelly yours,
The Malignatrix

Humiliation and Embarassment

empressava29@aol.com (Miz Ava) — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 07:03:00 +0000

Some people just deserve to be degraded and humiliated, for no other purpose than that it is the reason why they were put on this earth. In today's podcast, meet the pathetic slave boy who constantly craves attention from his Mistress only this time, the attention he receives is a bit more than he bargained for.

Cruelly yours,
The Malignatrix

Erotic and Verbal Humiliation Audio

empressava29@aol.com (Miz Ava) — Fri, 16 Feb 2007 02:09:00 +0000

I've posted a podcast file at Odeo that will appeal to those who crave erotic and verbal humiliation. Its a short little piece recorded by me with the theme of a perverted employee getting "reprimanded" by his dominating, sexy female boss. This story is titled, "The Price You Pay". I just love when the tables are turned don't you?

To hear the audio, simply click on: Erotic Humiliation by The Malignatrix.

Why erotic humiliation?

empressava29@aol.com (Miz Ava) — Tue, 13 Feb 2007 09:40:00 +0000

In a world where males are taught to prove how fabulous they can be, why would anyone knowingly seek to be humiliated, especially within a sexual or erotic context? I mean, a guy who gets off on being insulted, degraded or overpowered by a strong, smart, sexy female must have serious mental issues, right? At the very least he must suffer from a dreadful lack of self-esteem...

Wrong.

These assumptions couldn't be further from the truth. I have met a multitude of men who are intelligent, successful, competent and confident in every facet of their lives and yet come to me craving humiliation in its various forms. For some, it's the string of verbal insults, name calling and attacks on their masculinity which appeals to them. For others, being spanked, flogged, or reprimanded in some other corporally fashioned manner is the main craving. And for a very brave lot, being forced into compromising and embarassing (and often public) situations can be just the element that arouses a burning sexual need that is most profound and all-consuming.

Many people become baffled at the thought of a man who willingly subjects himself to sensual and/or erotic humiliation, especially at the hand of a woman. How can he even call himself a man if he allows a female to treat him in such a way, one might wonder. The answer to this question is really quite simple, though perhaps the concept may not be so easy to wrap one' s mind around, given the societal constrictions in which we live.

Men need to be humbled. Unfortunately for most, they are taught the exact opposite. For when a male is objectified, defiled, eroticized, emasculated or humiliated, it is in these moments he finally becomes able to commune with his higher self. Consider the Christ story. Here was a man who was demeaned, tortured and ultimately crucified for the "greater good". Those schooled in the Christian faith are more than familar with the link between Christ's suffering and humiliation and the opportunity for redemption for all of mankind. I posit that the man who seeks humilating experiences is in essence, longing to embrace a piece of that redemption and make an attempt at resignation to all that binds him to the very confining societal mores of what it means to be a male. A sense of balance is restored. Through humiliation, one can experience moments of profound inner peace.

The Malignatrix