Hello!

When I was first experimenting with minimalism 8 years ago, one of my goals was to help our home feel like a vacation home. Greg and I were flirting with the idea of buying a second home on the coast or in wine country and we tried to figure out why we felt we needed that. We realized we wanted to spend our weekends in a place that had very little clutter, very few projects hanging over us, and felt almost like a blank canvas open to possibilities. This vision inspired us to save hundreds of thousands of dollars and do the work to make our primary residence feel that way. We didn’t need a second property and mortgage if our first one could be simple, clutter-free and peaceful!

We now have the added benefit that our home is not only a “vacation home” for us on the weekends but we can easily rent it out for others to enjoy while we travel. We just got back from a week in Maui and I've been asked about 14 times how we rent our house out.
For anyone interested in how we easily Airbnb our house:

1. We got rid of most of our stuff: The most common questions we get is “what do you do with all of your stuff?!” Well, the main answer is, of course, we don’t have that much stuff due to our Essentialist lifestyle. Easy renting and travel is a HUGE benefit of minimalism! We started with 5 Things A Day, and then continued our path toward the vision of a vacation home using Essentialism 101.

2. We don't have that many valuables: The few items that we have either go with us (laptops, everyday jewelry) or they're in our safe deposit box (licenses, certificates, occasional jewelry).

3. We keep our toiletries to the essentials: And most of them go with us! Almost everything in our master bath is in our medicine cabinet and when packing, the contents go right into our toiletry kits. We usually don’t buy items over 100mL for this reason and others. (Our guest bathroom has just a medicine cabinet with items for guests and first aid, a hairdryer for guests, and extra toilet paper.)

4. We don't lock anything away: But, we do tie up our lower closets. Most of our closets get emptied into our suitcases when we’re packing (yay, Lean Closets!). Our out-of-season boxes stay in the top of the closet. As for the clothes and toiletries we don’t take, we place them in our lower closets, and tie them with a zip tie. This also includes our personal towels and linens, the kid’s toys, and personal things like our Office-In-A-Box.

The zip-ties are not meant to stop a thief. They are to deter strangers from going through our stuff or even having to look at it.

5. We spend the week before we go using up our food: Including cleaning out our fridge/freezer. We leave a pretty empty but well-equipped kitchen for our guests. We also spend extra hours during the week before we leave prepping the whole house, about 8-10 person-hours. This includes stripping and cleaning our linens, putting clothes and toys into those tied-up closets, cleaning up the kitchen and putting the coffeemaker out, emptying the entry closet, and removing some baby proofing. Phew.

+ The first few years we rented, Greg and I did all of the guest communication and cleaning. We originally did this to save money after all! But starting with the sabbatical, when that wasn't possible, we now have a third-party company help out. For a fee, they set our rates, communicate with the guests, clean the house before and after renters, and bring/launder guest linens. This costs a good amount of money but it makes renting much easier for us as busy parents and introverts. ;)

A few helpful guidelines we have for renting:
+ We only rent the whole house if we're going to be gone for more than 4 nights or if it's an expensive rental time like during busy conferences or holidays.

+ Our home has a smart lock with a unique guest code so we don't need to do a key exchange.

+ If the house prep takes longer than we'd like, we make sure to do a purge when we get home so we can spend less energy moving STUFF around next time.

+ We understand that our furniture and kitchen stuff will get worn faster. We've had very few issues with damage (and our only dishes are china!) but wear and tear happens. There's very little we feel precious about during this season of our lives.

+ Now, I don't love having strangers sleep, live and party in our primary home. I'm probably the worst personality for it ;) But it's putting our house to good use and allowing us to take a couple of really nice vacations a year. There’s a bit of adjustment once we get home to the small changes in the house but we’re usually back to normal within a few days!

We love travel, we love our home (and have put a lot of heart into it), and we love getting to share it with others while we’re off adventuring. So cool! Do you rent any properties out? Have you had any good or bad Airbnb experiences?

Oy, it's been a while. We went on our three-month sabbatical last autumn and, among other things, we used it to really disconnect from our old defaults, routines, and commitments. I stopped writing and doing a lot of things I normally do to see where it would take me. And since we got back, after the holidays, we've been slowly adding things back in.

Hmm, this sounds so still and luxurious. While it was an amazing opportunity, this trip and these intentions included constant supervision of an 18-month-old ;)

I've been wanting to write an update here (though I kind of forgot how to blog :D) and a few other posts to share what's shifted for us, understanding that about 90% of my days are pretty much still the same. Certain aspects of life have gotten a lot more joyful while others have gotten more challenging. SO, SOME UPDATES FOR OUR DAYS IN 2018:

1. Our one-word theme for 2017 was “soul” and what a way to experience that through long journeys, some solo travel, exotic food and music, and months spent in very old buildings in Spain. 2017 really shook things up for me (which was incredibly unsettling for my personality ;) but I did feel expansion, new depths, and even some darkness.
Looking to lift that energy this year, my word for 2018 became "lively"! I was thinking joy, playfulness, color, vitality. I'm loving it.

2. As soon as "lively" came to me, so did Jess Lively! I've followed her on and off but took a huge hiatus during maternity leave. I picked back up on her podcasts during the end of the sabbatical and then joined Flow With Intention Online in February. The day I committed to the course was one of the best days and I've loved watching her energy and coaching. This work was so in line with all of the disruptions I had caused to my routines and habits... in a good way!

3. I've tried to practice and teach keeping only the 9's and 10's in life or the "Heck Yes's"! Motherhood has challenged this for me (less with stuff and more with commitments) so the Flow class reemphasized the concept. I now mostly focus on doing joyful things or things I can respond "with pleasure" to. What a gift.

4. Another main concept I have been leaning towards and which the class reinforced was that of a more casual and flexible morning routine. Back when I was sick and later had too many projects going on, my morning routine was a savior. It seriously made every single day better. But of course, it completely shifted after having a baby, nursing all night, and focusing on survival. We had routines but nothing very nourishing. On sabbatical, we felt this lack even more. Now I'm back to being proactive about my mornings but they're completely focused on joy and what will make me feel good at the moment. It changes regularly... I usually read fiction for a bit, play with Islo, cook a nourishing breakfast, and try to get some time to myself. I'm working on reincorporating regular meditation.

5. I've even started to set aside a part of naptime for movie watching!!! This felt like a crazy luxury a year ago but now it's regular and I love the lightness it brings to my afternoons.

6. I MISSED MEAL PLANNING! We all did, like so much. On the sabbatical, we were hangrier, ate less healthy, spent a lot more money on food, and enjoyed dining out a lot less. For this family, it was incredibly stressful and not free and flexible as it seemed it could be. So the day after we got back, I started meal planning and cooking a ton again and it's been amazing. It does take some time (my time) but as I've learned, it actually takes significantly less time than reaching every meal with the question of "what will we eat?". It's saving time, money, calories, food waste... so many things. I'm planning twice a week right now as it's 4 meals a day (or 3 and a snack) for those of us at home and my brain can only really handle 15 meals of planning and shopping at a time. I incorporate meals out and leftovers so we always have some flexibility if something comes up or there's a heat wave when I was expecting to have the oven on for an hour (ahem, Saturday).

7. To make cooking easier and quicker every night (I do it solo with Islo under my feet or at the counter next to me), I prepare any parts of the recipes in advance that I can. This can look like: roasting veggies the night before; chopping my mise en place in the morning; measuring ingredients or mixing sauces during nap; or starting the slow cooker over breakfast. Breakfasts and dinners are now like those meal prep kits but better!

8. Islo and I have been spending lots of time outside or on adventures every day since being home. We both now have raingear inspired by our time in Copenhagen so we can hike, walk or play in the cold rain. We go to a couple of museums every month, usually through our library's free Discover & Go program. It's so fun to walk around and discuss art with a 2-year-old! We even spent two really cold and wet days at Ikea playing with the trains and eating meatballs. These adventures always include a lunch date. <3

9. I'm still going strong on my summer 2017 habit to learn Spanish through Duolingo. I've missed a few days here or there but have been using it regularly for almost a year! I just got my first 120-day-streak without a miss too! I felt comfortable in Spain reading most things and listening to conversations but, as usual, I felt like a fool trying to speak. Working on it ;)

10. Because of all these things (though not Duolingo) and some health issues, I haven't been working as an Essentialist as much. I want it to be a source of energy in my life and not a drain. For this season, joy looks like a walk through wildflowers with a little one and not as many donation piles. :D

+ But with nearly nine months of no decluttering at home, we are ready for some work ourselves. Closets! Toys! Spices! We even just replaced some of the air plants that didn't make it through three months of renters and are loving the upgrade!!

To be honest though, through travel, renting, toddlerhood, seasonal and body changes, our lives have survived no decluttering. With existing systems in place, very little came in or stuck around if it wasn't essential. What validation for Essentialism: you can go through many major life changes at one time and put little effort into stuff and home, but everything stays pretty organized, peaceful and easy!

As always, thanks for being here! xo

++ I've been asked a number of times about the nursery and how we've liked it one and two years in... I'm working on updates to answer some of the questions. 🦄

+ If you need help figuring out what to get rid of, read Essentialism 101, especially Step 4: What's Not Working. We'll finish out that series soon with Step 5: Restore and Incorporate Maintenance!

THE 5 BEST WAYS TO GET RID OF YOUR STUFF: (in my order of preference)
1. Trash: Or trash/recycling/composting. This is the easiest way to get rid of anything. Remove all the obvious trash first and consolidate cardboard and packing materials (you can even list them for free and people will flock). While I don't condone trashing usable items, "trash" encompasses a few interesting options. In San Francisco, yard trimmings and cardboard bundles can be placed beside the collection bins. Paint and other hazardous household items can be collected (and reused!!) with a quick phone call. And 10 "bulky items" can be picked up twice per year with a phone call. Think broken furniture, scrap metal and wood, or unusable mattresses. (This also works for electronic waste!)

2. Donate: For 9 out of 10 items, donation is the way to go. Selling always slows you down. The energy involved in selling something isn't worth it for the majority of stuff in our homes. Gather it all together, drop it off, and enjoy the tax deduction!

For a majority of stuff, I recommend Goodwill or similar thrift stores. (They might even pick up for free!) Make sure the items are in a good and usable condition. If you'd like to know who your stuff is helping, try to find sites for specific items. A few of my favorites:
Friends of the Public Library (or the local veterans association) for books, records, dvds
Teachers and nonprofits for art supplies
SPCA for pet supplies
Shelters or ministries for unopened toiletries
Homeless Prenatal Program for diapers and gently used baby items
And I'm a fan of our local Buy Nothing group! 

+ For tax purposes, if a donated item or group of items is worth less than $5000, you don't need an appraisal. I like to snap a quick photo of the items and attach it to the donation receipt for tax time. The deduction amount is Fair Market Value (FMV) or what somebody would pay at a thrift store. Maximum deduction is 50% of your AGI. So let's say you donate $1000 worth of goods in a year and your tax rate is around 20%... that means a $200 refund (if you itemize), with virtually no effort. 

3. Craigslist or Ebay: For larger or more valuable items, selling them to someone else is a great way to make a little cash as you pass them on. Ebay requires a good amount of effort per item but you'll have a large audience and will probably net the most money. It's best for smaller, more valuable items like electronics and designer clothing. (You do have to ship them!) Think laptops, cameras, watches, and handbags. 

Craigslist is the best way to go for everything else. Furniture? Check. Appliances, baby products, tools, gardening equipment, bikes? Check. We've sold an oven, a juicer, shelves, sofas, old iPhones and even our first car on Craigslist!! My guide to Craigslisting is coming up!

+ The most important thing you can do when selling an item is to take good pictures. Make sure the item is clean, place it in an uncluttered and realistic setting, focus on good lighting and composition, and then take both wide and detailed shots.

4. Consignment: This tends to be better in theory than in practice. You get to sell some items but don't have to do any of the work? Woot. If you have designer clothing, furniture or maybe the latest hot video game, you might be able to make a bit of cash. I worked with a client who had a lot of nice athleisure wear and she was able to drop off a bag of clothes in exchange for money. But usually we think our older clothing is worth a lot more than it is. If a consignment shop will take something, it rarely sells. I'm not an expert on consignment but I don't recommend taking the time unless you have a store that you frequent and you know what they're looking for. 

Vintage furniture is an exception. If you have a number of pieces that you think might be worth more than a listing on Craigslist, hire an antiques appraiser. 

+ For video games or consumer electronics, Amazon Trade-In is an easy way to send everything in for a lump sum... or amazon gift card ;) You won't get top dollar but the process is very straight forward! 

5. Garage or Yard Sale: Ugh. These sales are rarely worth the effort. We hosted one in 2013 with a friend and sold hundreds of items. I still don't think it was worth the energy and time. There's cataloging, pricing, labeling, taking photos, marketing, displaying, negotiating, keeping track of cash. If you're up for it, it's helpful to have some big-ticket items to get people interested. Start pricing at about 25% what you paid and work down to 10% or less as the sale goes on. The benefits are that you're getting rid of a lot at once (if you have a good turn out) and it's emotionally nice to see where your stuff is going. 

Love how crafty that man is <3.

How do you like to get rid of your stuff? Any garage sale success stories out there? 

Hi, happy summer! I'm popping in because we are adding a new daily habit for July in addition to Duolingo Junio!

Not surprisingly, our home is pretty uncluttered and ready for most renters but now that we're going to be gone for 3 months, Greg wants to have the downstairs (a very large garage) completely empty. It currently houses a bunch of renovation materials, some beekeeping supplies and a pile of stuff we've been wanting to sell or giveaway.

As I mentioned in our October Habit: 5 Things A Day... Again, we still have to make an effort to keep our home lean. In addition to saying "no", this means regular pruning of toys and clothes and occasional trips to Goodwill and other donation sites.

We keep a "get it out of here" basket for donations and returns in our entry closet.

But when we would like to sell something or need to put extra effort into getting rid of it, we put it in a pile in the garage. It's time to deal with it. ;)

To follow my 5 Steps to a Successful Habit Shift, for the month of July, we're going to:
1. Be specific. Every day, we're going to do one of three things to help sell or dispose of an item: Photograph it for a listing, Post it to Craigslist or a Buy Nothing group, or Research the agency to help us with disposal (this is mostly for some "hazardous" renovation materials.)
2. Start small. We're taking just one action for one item at a time, even if it only takes 2 minutes.
3. Find a trigger. We're going to do this as soon as we finish our last bite of dinner.
4. Time box. If we can't get the whole task done in 15 minutes, we'll stop and continue the next day.
5. Have a simple system. We have the items listed and are tracking their status in our to-do list (Asana) so we'll know exactly the next step to take.

Sell-1-Thing-A-Day July should help us finally clear out the last of the stuff down there and give us a little more peace of mind during the sabbatical! 

How about you? Do you have any tips for selling unwanted items? Or have you used any of those new apps? What do the kids use these days?

+ Today, I just dropped off an old pair of glasses to an eyewear donation program! ☑︎

I used to be horrible at responding to emails. And when I got sick, it would take months. Essentialism has changed our relationship: Email and I are not as serious as we used to be. But we respect each other more. ;) Because when I put off dealing with emails, I'm only making it harder on myself.

Email is the ultimate distraction. You can be present, productive, smiling as you work in flow and then, with one "ding", be thrown off course because somebody else wants something from you. It's time to relegate emails to where they belong: in a box that you check only a couple of times a day, when and where you choose.

Over the last few years, I've adopted a few tactics to simplify both my email inbox and my habits around it. These are my easy ways to quickly process email and maybe even get to Inbox Zero! 

THE ESSENTIALS OF LEAN EMAIL:
1. Unsubscribe, unsubscribe, unsubscribe: The best way to reduce incoming email is to unsubscribe. Almost every non-personal email we receive has a tiny little link on the bottom to "Unsubscribe." Click it! I even dare you to click it on any email that offers it. ;) Unless an email list is something you love and find useful, don't let it continue to interrupt your day. 

Another option with a similar outcome is to tag an email as "Spam". In Gmail, it's the button with the exclamation point in the octagon. Similar emails will then be sent to the Spam folder and you might be able to "Report spam & unsubscribe" all with one click! 

+ The best way to simplify life is to stop shopping. And one way to do that is to stop receiving promotional emails. You will still get communication from a company if you order something... but you won't be tempted to look at something that you weren't even considering until they decided to spam you.

2. Filter, filter, filter: After you've unsubscribed to (most of) those unwanted incoming emails, the next easy step is to set up filters for automatically processing certain types of messages. Gmail is the best at this. Maybe that should be Step 1: use Gmail. ;) You can create filters for anything: emails from an address, to an address, regarding a subject, containing certain keywords. I like to create filters for emails from certain addresses. In Gmail, when you've selected an email, click on the "More" drop down menu and selected "Filter messages like these." 

You can then choose what you want to do with them. I get a few newsletter or store emails that I'd like to be able to reference in the future but that I have no need to read when they're sent to me. For the above emails from my gym, I'll "Mark as read" and "Skip the inbox (Archive it)" so they'll disappear from my inbox and appear as read and archived in my email, searchable in the future if I want to renew my membership and find the best rate. This is also a great place to filter emails into a certain folder/label without having to do it manually. 

3. Don't use it as a to-do list: There are plenty of people that use email as a to-do list but it's not a good choice for most people. Unimportant or non-urgent tasks get grouped in with really important ones and the whole list becomes overwhelming with no due dates or order. If an email requires more than just a quick action on your part, simply put the task/email on your to-do list of choice and archive it. I like to use Asana (don't really have a choice as Greg works for them ;) and so I can add tasks either through Gmail with the Asana Chrome plug-in or just pop over to Asana in my browser and type it in. Man, just now, by following my own advice, I've gotten rid of 7 of the 12 emails...

+ A note about to-do list items in general: I like to use the 2-minute rule. If a task will take less than 2 minutes, do it right away. If it will take longer, add it to the to-do list. 

4. Create mindful habits around email: Email is only as annoying as we let it be. And it's actually really amazing when you think about the alternative. Figure out your relationship and put email in its place! Here are a few ways to do this:
+ Turn off desktop and phone notifications. Turn them off in settings or at least be aware of "email's 'unread' dopamine hit". ;)
+ Check email less frequently. Choose to check it only 2 or 3 times per day. (This obviously depends on your responsibilities.) I now usually check my inbox twice a day: once after our morning routine and once in the afternoon. The goal here is less so even hourly is better than every 5 minutes. This might sound crazy but it will help train peoples' expectations of your availability. 
+ Check email with the intention of answering. If I check email quickly when I'm waiting in line or first wake up, I have no intention of responding to most of them. So they just sit in my inbox weighing on me until I get the motivation to deal with them. Sigh. Try to only check your email when you have a bit of time to process it. If you've unsubscribed and set up filters then processing email a few times a day should be quick. Open an email and 1) if it needs no action, just archive it, 2) write a quick response and archive it, or 3) add an action to your calendar or to-do list and archive it. You might seem a little less available but you might actually become more responsive! 
+ Take responsibility for the emails you send. Understand the burden that email can become for everyone and try to write fewer, make sure they're necessary, and keep them specific and succinct. The more open-ended you are, the more likely you are to get more emails in return.

5. Simplify the appearance: If you work better with an uncluttered desk, consider an uncluttered email page. (And an uncluttered desktop and browser as well!) I personally think Gmail looks better this way but it also reduces visual distractions when processing email.
+ Get rid of those tabs: Under the "Settings" gear, select "Configure inbox" and uncheck those tabs except for "Primary".
+ Hide most labels: Under the gear again, select "Settings", then "Labels" and hide everything you don't NEED to see regularly. I like to show "Inbox" obviously, "Starred" which I'll get to down below, sometimes "Drafts", and "All Mail" for those archived mails that I might want to look through. Everything else is available under the "More" label.  
+ Minimize Gadgets and Chat/Hangouts: On the bottom left of the Inbox, you can display... nothing! Yay focus!

++ Stars: I love the ☆ function in Gmail. I'll star an email and then archive it if I will need it again but it requires no immediate action. This gives me easy access to flight confirmations, tickets, bills. I'll then un-star the email when I pay the bill or take the flight. Voila! 

I hope Lean Email can help you tackle your Inbox soon. Do you have any other email tips?!

We're moving to Spain in September!! Well, for 3 months, for a sabbatical, but we're moving to Spain! We'll be spending most of our time on the island of Mallorca.

And I know zero Spanish or just a handful of words which is probably fewer than my 1-year-old :/ I feel like I can probably read menus but I'd like to be able to converse a little bit and it will be great to learn a new language. (I learned French through high school).

Duolingo Junio!
For the month of June (and most likely the rest of the summer), my goal is to learn Spanish! Or start to learn Spanish. Greg's already fluent and Peanut barely talks so I'm alone in this one. (Although, Greg, maybe you'll try to advance your skills a bit?)

I'm really excited about this app: Duolingo (not getting paid… just a fan ;). It's free and you spend a few minutes a day learning a new language. The set-up is so easy and the simple system is already in place. There are a number of languages to choose from with a few different options for commitment. My daily goal is "Casual" or 5 minutes per day and maybe I'll move up to "Serious" or 15 minutes per day at some point. I'm starting small and timeboxing to 5 minutes! ;)

My trigger will be right when I put Peanut down for his first nap. It'll be so quick that I'll probably be finished before he even falls asleep! On the two days a week I'm gone for naptime, I'll do the work right after leaving the house but before I get on my way.

Our habit experiments usually support one of our bigger goals, and this month, we’re supporting a project we’ve been working on for years and dreaming about for a decade!

Reflections on our May Habit: Oops, an 8-Hour Do-Over ;):
For the month of May, we were going to refocus on getting 8 hours of sleep a night. During 8-Hour April, I was missing my sleep windows and we were traveling or sick most of the month. As we had hoped, trying again in May really helped. We’re getting better at prioritizing sleep most of the time. And that’s what it has to be these days: a priority… over entertainment, socializing, lounging, chores, work, etc. I need it for my illness and also just to be a better person.

To help us meet the goal we were going to work on:
+ No screens 30 minutes before bed! We’re better at this but not great every night. Playoffs! The more tired I am, the more likely I am to stay up. What?!
+ Tracking our time asleep. We’ve been tracking our sleep using Sense (a device on your pillow and an app). It’s not perfect but it’s simple hands-off tracking. My average nightly sleep in May was 7.7hrs vs. 7.2 in April!
+ Getting to bed a little earlier (by 10?). I’m still working on this one. Maybe when I stop pumping before bed... Greg only makes it to bed earlier on Sabbath but thank goodness we have that one day (and two evenings) with very little to do!
+ Stay in loungewear and nap if we didn’t get 8 hours. This didn’t happen on the usual 7-hour-nights but the few times we were up in the middle of the night with a sick babe, we did manage to nap in the mornings to compensate. Unfortunately, Sense doesn’t track naps (my biggest complaint).

So 8-Hour May was pretty successful and we’re going to continue working on it. There are a few things we noted this month: sleeping in is no longer an option so we have to go to bed earlier; screens before bed hurt both in bedtime and in sleep quality; Sense and the Apple Health app need a lot of work around sleep tracking but I’m glad they exist; and honestly, I'm pretty lucky to even have these issues.

Alright! Let’s get some sleep this summer!

6-12 MONTH BABY ESSENTIALS:
1. Diapering: We're still very happy with our compost diapering setup and products. And we've still only used diapers, wipes and coconut oil. One thing that has changed is the activity while changing. Wow, babies can squirm and dislike getting changed. We take RIE classes and learning about slow diapering has been super useful. It's counterintuitive but slowing the process down and including Peanut in the task makes him more agreeable. If we rush or distract, it's much harder. Our setup in his closet with this changing pad is also really helpful.
2. Feeding: Solid food! We've done an interpretation of baby-led weaning and it's been awesome. Yikes, this boy can eat. And he likes real adult food... not that puree but your sandwich, please. At about 6.5 months, we started adding solid food and were working on three meals a day by 10 months. He's now eating three large (more than me!) meals a day and nursing about four times a day though that is continuing to wane. Some days I feel like all I do is prep food, feed him, and clean up after. :) Yep, I would say months 9-12 were almost entirely about feeding. We decided on one highchair that can be used on our table, our island, or even when we travel. Except for one annoying flaw of a large gap between Peanut and the table, we've been really happy. I don't think it's considered machine-washable but we pop it in the washer once or twice a week on a quick wash and hang it to dry overnight. We also use a couple of bibs (I think they're drool bibs but they are the only ones he doesn't try to yank off), and a bamboo plate, fork, and spoon we picked up in Japan!

 3. Carrying: We still use the Ergo but less, usually just for hikes or flights. I tend to carry Peanut in my arms most of the time when we're not...
4. Strollering: We're still using our initial one stroller but now without the carseat. And we bought a gate check bag since we finally flew with it. The stroller is so useful but I'm not a fan of the process of using it. If we're going from one place to another in less than 10 minutes, I just carry him. I recently spent most of a week alone with Peanut in Brooklyn and it was great to have our stroller for outings without the subway. Because he's getting h-e-a-v-y!

5. Sleeping: <3 I love how he sleeps. We had a sort of sleep training/sleep-through-the-night miracle at 11 months. Peanut loves sleeping in his crib and sleep sack with his Snuggle Bunny. Naps are great too... we're using waketime intervals instead of a set schedule. Sleeping on the go is another matter...
6. Clothing: Our little boy is starting to wear t-shirts! And shoes! His future clothes (gifts) are organized by size and type so we still buy very little, usually socks and pjs. 
7. Wrapping: This has mostly been replaced with a jacket or a borrowed snowsuit. 

8. Entertaining: Wow, our days look so different now than at 6 months. They are scheduled around his two naps and all those meals. We get out of the house for a walk at least once a day regardless of the weather. In between the sleep, feeding, and walks, he mostly has independent play with stretches of my full attention. Play during these months includes crawling up and down the hallway, walking along the furniture, drumming on the toilet, holding balls or cars, investigating the washer/dryer, and figuring out Duplos. 
+ Toys and clothes are the easiest items to amass and therefore, the easiest to essentialize. I bet Peanut would be just as happy without any "toys". When we've traveled and I've brought along a few, he's preferred empty containers, boxes, furniture and toilet paper rolls.  
9. Toting: We're still using the small backpack but now with less clothing and more food, toys, or books. I even do some outings without a diaper bag! Exciting, I know!
10. Bathing: Baths are now alone and with a toy or two but most of the time we'll take showers together. Peanut will walk or crawl around with a rubber toy and his shampoo bottle until we're ready for a rinse. Oh and thanks, Laura, we're still enjoying the Mustela upgrade! 

++ Babyproofing: Another huge element of this time period has been babyproofing. We chose to do most of the house and it really facilitates independent play. Peanut will now go into his room and close the door to play with toys! It's probably not intentional but it's super cute. Having a simple home made babyproofing relatively easy. Closets and furniture were already safe so we just added some kitchen cabinet and oven latches, some window wedges, and moved a few plants and trash cans.

It sounds cliché but each phase is even more fun than the last. Getting to take care of this guy (with some help) is the greatest honor. Until he jams his finger in my eye. ;)

1. A simply curated nursery from Wit & Delight. Some things look familiar: the same Ikea crib! And hex wood shelves! I'm also super inspired by their train trundle. I see one in our future. ;)

2. From Unclutterer: a good reminder that I need to strengthen some passwords. Does anyone else struggle a little with 1Password? (Although I'm grateful it exists.)

3. I've finally started working on this season's Lean Closet. Although I don't think a trip to Stockholm is in the plans, that striped dress and these jeans might be! In addition to the usual white, black, and grey, I'm feeling accents of royal blue, kelly green and soft pink. Of course, knowing me, I might not add anything new... maybe my first post-baby pair of jeans? 

4. "Using our time, money, energy, etc. in ways that aren’t in alignment with our life priorities ends up carrying some strong negative baggage after a while." Yep, that's where most of the friction in my life comes from. Trent at The Simple Dollar does such a great job writing about priorities. "This same exact phenomenon – your life priorities shaping how you use the resources available to you – pops up regarding every resource you have in life: your time, your money, your focus, your energy, your skills, and so on."

5. How do you figure out those priorities? Gretchen Rubin's interview with Tasha Eurich: "One of the things I hope people learn from my new book Insight is that self-awareness allows you to acknowledge the things that are important to you, not what you think should be important but what actually is, and design your life and, by extension, your habits around them."

6. I'm looking forward to reading Adina Grigore's book Just the Essentials. Maybe it will answer some of my Lean Cleaning questions about essential oils. Wit & Delight reminded me of her company and her products at SW Basics. It seems like I should just buy and use them as they are basically what I make at home... but better? (And I might throw a Glossier lip balm in there too. ;)

7. We're starting to plan a trip to Spain in the fall so I'm bookmarking these Barcelona suggestions from Atelier Doré. Ooh, plus Petite Passport's.

8. More for this Lean Closet: I have loved Adidas Adilette slides for almost 30 years and I'm considering a pastel neutral, but fun, pair for this soccer season! Or these pink ones.

9. I talked about my intense and urgent breakfast needs when I wake up and shocker: Peanut is the same. He wants to eat right away and that includes nursing plus two breakfast servings, ie: a full serving of veggie frittata plus kiwis with yogurt! Breakfast is a passion around here. I wish I could find the financial and logistical resources to make sure every child starts the day with a good breakfast but I will start here.

10. And speaking of eating, we've done our own interpretation of baby-led weaning which means that Peanut mostly just eats what we do. I like to have something to supplement him with when (a) he wants more than an adult serving! (been known to happen), (b) I'm eating fries or pizza or something else I don't feed him (eat as I say, not as I do?!), or (c) all he wants is bread or cheese and I'd like to get some produce into him. So I've been making all sorts of muffins and balls around here inspired by Sprouted Kitchen's Broccoli Balls and Black Bean + Green Bites. Recipe below!

Mine is shaping up to be a warm, colorful, sports-filled spring. Yours?

+ Here's what I've been baking:
4-6 ounces tender greens like baby kale or even broccoli (leftovers work!), barely steamed
1 egg
2 Tbsp. extra virgin olive oil
1/3 cup grated cheese like parmesan (or fontina)
1/4 cup breadcrumbs
2 Tbsp. oats
1 cup cooked and drained beans (black beans or chickpeas)
1 clove garlic
pinch of salt and pepper

Preheat the oven to 375°. Let the steamed green cool and squeeze out the excess water. Into a food processor, add the squeezed greens, egg, olive oil, cheese, breadcrumbs, oats, beans and garlic, and a pinch of salt and pepper. Pulse a few times to combine. The batter is sticky and wet. Line your baking tray with parchment. With 1/2" scoop, create small balls and place them on the baking tray. Bake for 12-15 minutes until slightly firm to the touch and remove to cool. Makes 2 dozen. We keep them in the fridge for a few days and like them dipped in yogurt. 

This month has been consuming: 

+ Peanut turned 1! We gathered over Passover with all sorts of family on the East Coast. He got to celebrate with most of his grandparents, all of his cousins and his aunts and uncles! It was super fun and low key with homemade apple cupcakes made to look like beehives and some of his Instagram photos hanging from strings around the room. <3

+ We got to live in Brooklyn for a week and check out life there with a baby. Greg worked and I really missed having some childcare but Peanut and I had fun. Some highlights were Baby DJ School, Smorgasburg, Radegast Beer Garden, yummy chicken & waffles, and hanging out with some of our favorite people. ;)

+ We've started to rent out our house again when we're away! We rented out a room for a while before and during my pregnancy but baby sleep hasn't been conducive to having guests. Ah, but now when we travel, it's a great way to keep the house useful and help fund our trips a bit. Even with our Lean Home, it's still a lot of work though. 

+ And I got sick again for the 4th time since Peanut was born. :/ Is this a postpartum thing because that's about 3.5 times more than usual for me? It's always after we get back from travel. Luckily Peanut doesn't usually catch it. (Speaking of being sick... today, April 29th, is National Drug Take Back Day! It's the best way to dispose of all of those drugs and medications that you don't need anymore. In SF, you can just drop them off at any police station, no questions asked!)

So I try to practice what I preach. When things start to feel overwhelming, I focus life down to the essentials for a little while. And that's what we've been doing around here: just the basics... no extra projects and little success on 8-Hour April. 

May Habit: Oops, an 8-Hour Do-Over ;)
For May, our habit will be to retry getting 8 hours of sleep a night. It's been going okay but we have some adjustments to make. In reading about baby sleep training (and talking with some girlfriends), I'm reminded that we have natural sleep rhythms and sleep windows. If Peanut misses his nap window, he won't fall asleep easily. We're the same! There's a window for most of us from around 6-8pm, another from 9-11pm, and then if we push through that one, another from 1-2am. I'm learning that if I'm not in bed by around 10, I have a much harder time getting sleep. Like babies, the later I stay up, the earlier I wake up. Ugh.

Let's do this! Ahem Greg!! 

Peanut is almost 1! I can’t believe it and I also can’t imagine my life without him… he has been the biggest blessing. AND I haven’t slept through the night in a year. Nursing, teething, what have you. Honestly, I feel pretty great physically but I know the lack of sleep has worn on me… on us.

But now we’re all sleeping through and it’s a dream. <3 Sleeping enough hasn’t been the priority for us in a while but that’s changing today! For the month of April, the goal is that each of us gets 8 hours of sleep a night: 8-Hour April!

We’ll do a few things to help make this happen:
+ No screens 30 minutes before bed! We’ll make the time at the end of the day to calm down and practice an Evening Routine. “A good evening ritual helps you close the book on the day, prepare for more restorative sleep, and set yourself up for a fabulous tomorrow!”

+ We’ll track our time asleep, most likely using an app. We already use Glow Baby for Peanut and have used Hello for ourselves in the past. Any recommendations if we’re not into wearables?

+ Since we have a pretty reliable alarm clock these days (<3), we have to get to bed a little earlier to make sure we reach our goal. And that means in bed at least 10 minutes before we’d like to be asleep.

+ If we don’t get 8 hours because of work or things that go bump in the night, we’ll stay in loungewear and nap with Peanut until we do, if possible. (Unfortunately, Greg and most people can only do this on weekends.)

This has been an amazing year but not without its challenges. Maybe this experiment will help us make up for one of the hardest aspects of caring for an infant. You can make up for a year without enough sleep in a month, right? :D Okay good… I’m already feeling more rested.

Reflections on our March Habit: Morning Meditation:
For the month of March, we reinvested in daily meditation. Greg did it daily before lunch and I got back into meditating first thing in the morning.

Meditation March was so great. The best time to add a new habit is first thing in the morning. Waking up is the biggest trigger of our day and what we do right after is easiest to sustain. I had a 100% success rate and felt really grounded this month:
+ I was more engaged and less reactive.
+ I was able to pay attention without always creating stories.
+ I smiled more.
+ It’s probably a coincidence but Peanut seemed happier, calmer and he also slept better!
+ And I noticed that the days when it was hard to do were the days that I needed it the most.

Greg was almost as successful and loved meditating before lunch. He noticed he ate less and more mindfully. It’s so interesting… he said he would gather a plate of food before meditation and then look at the plate right after and feel like he took too much! What a smart habit for him.

We felt such obvious benefits that we’re both going to continue the habit. I’ll need to find a new space as the boys aren’t really up and out when I get out of bed. ;) I’d also like to work up to 20 minutes of meditation in the morning but will probably wait until I’m not nursing. What a joy to have this little pocket of time for myself!

Namaste. <3

It’s nice to have a clean home. And as homeowners, there are a few items that require regular deeper cleaning. But maybe it doesn’t have to be a big commitment. Spring cleaning to me implies months of putting off cleaning only to be met with a week’s (or month’s) worth of work come spring.

How about, instead, keeping your home in a way that requires less cleaning? Own fewer things, take better care of said things. One of my favorite benefits of Essentialism in the home is that it takes less effort to clean. Picking up is so easy, it doesn’t even make my to-do list. Most horizontal surfaces are empty so dusting the WHOLE HOUSE takes less than five minutes. Vacuuming is quick… or I think it is, I’m not the vacuumer ;)

Have a few house rules like no shoes on in the home, clean up right after a spill, and use more natural products. Most soaps and shampoos cause the build-up of soap scum so using natural, vegetable-based personal care products makes cleaning the shower so much easier. Also, consider your expectations around a clean home… our home magically became cleaner when we stopped needing it to be squeaky clean and smell like perfume.

How about cleaning a little bit week-by-week, choosing one deeper chore to do on Sundays? Keeping a home clean is a lot easier than cleaning one that hasn’t been touched in months. Prevention, regularity and a little elbow grease are all you need. If something spills, clean it up then. Save the bigger home maintenance tasks for the weekend (like wiping down the dishwashers, washing the pillows, vacuuming the fridge condenser), doing just one a week.

I touched on Lean Cleaning way back in my first post (wha?!) Why I’ve Stopped My Target Habit and I thought it was time to go into a little more detail and dedicate a whole post to it! As I mentioned then, I was first inspired by Bea at Zero Waste Home and then did further research, adopting the book Green Housekeeping. (If you have tougher or more specific cleaning tasks… check it out.) Our initial adaptations felt a little complicated but we quickly landed on super simple solutions!

THE ONLY 5 ITEMS YOU NEED FOR LEAN CLEANING:
1. Dish soap or Castile Soap. We use Mrs. Meyers Dish Soap or Dr. Bronner's Pure-Castile Soap and dilute it 1:1 with water. It’s not only our primary hand dish washing soap, it helps us cut grease anywhere: on the stove top, the floors, and even on laundry stains (a small amount diluted with water and left to sit).

For an all-purpose cleaner: combine 1 tsp dish soap with 2c of water in a spray bottle (add a splash of vinegar if desired) and use on almost anything! We don’t even keep a spray, instead just using a little dab of dish soap on a damp rag for surfaces that need more than dusting.

For an all-purpose scrub: create a paste of 1:1 dish soap and baking soda and use it for surfaces that need a bit of grit like the sink or tub.

2. Baking Soda. I have calmed down a bit with my baking soda obsession but it’s still in almost everything around here: the above scrub, any deodorizer, our deodorant, toothpaste, and face exfoliator (see my honey mask!). It even helps suds-up natural shampoo.

For a drain cleaner: sprinkle 1/4c baking soda down the drain, followed by 1c of vinegar, let it foam for a few minutes and then flush with a gallon of boiling water.

To clean a crusty pan: combine 2 TB baking soda with 4c of water in the pan and bring to a boil, turn off the heat, let cool, and wipe away! Heat helps most stubborn stains. 

+ Bonus: buy baking soda in bulk! It's also supposed to work well removing stains from rugs or upholstery which we’ll try if we ever get through an old bottle of Begley's Best.

3. Vinegar. (Distilled White, the kind in the big jug for $1.99) Oh vinegar, what can’t you do? Vinegar disinfects, removes odors, leaves surfaces shiny and organics soft. Use it to wipe down your fixtures, windows, toilets, grout and even remotes. Also, use it as the rinse aid in the dishwasher and the fabric softener in the washing machine.

For an all-purpose glass and surface cleaner: mix a solution of 1:1 water and vinegar in a spray bottle and wipe with a rag or microfiber cloth. Add a little dish soap if greasy.

For a leather refresher: mix the above spray with a tiny bit of olive oil and wipe down surfaces.

For a floor cleaner: dilute 2 tsp of vinegar in 3c of warm water and spray onto floors, wiping with a rag. (For marble, we do the same but with dish soap in place of the vinegar!).

+ I love the idea of adding citrus peels or essential oils to the vinegar spray but haven’t tried it yet. The citrus or tea tree oil or lavender would not only add a nice scent but also further the antibacterial properties! Any tips?

++ As a general rule in our home. If something (or someone) is greasy or scummy, we use baking soda. If they're dry, we use vinegar! ;)

4. Vacuum (or rubber broom). Our vacuum not only dusts our wood floors weekly, but it also removes dirt, hair, and cobwebs from the baseboards, ceiling fixtures, and the rug. Another great option is a rubber broom with a microfiber rag attached (homemade reusable swiffer!) and then you can swap out the dry rag for a wet one with diluted vinegar for mopping!

5. Microfiber cloths (and maybe a few rags). Yep, they clean every surface around here. We use them to wipe or dust everything and if something is a little sticky, we add a little dish soap and water. We also keep a few rags around for when we have a bigger task and microfiber isn’t necessary. Our microfiber cloths were gifted (but these would work) and the rags are old t-shirts.

Our home feels and smells cleaner than when we used more specialized heavy-duty products. These products are simpler, way less expensive, healthier and easier to use!

This is how we keep our home clean 90% of the time. We currently hire out some of the harder tasks like scrubbing the tub, mopping the floors and washing the outside of the windows. If we regularly did those ourselves, we’d probably have a couple of more items around like a scrubbing brush and a lot more rags. ;)

+ So here are Items that you don't need to buy: stainless steel cleaner, glass cleaner, tile cleaner, bleach, dryer sheets, fabric softener, paper towels, tissues, wipes, sponges, buckets, toilet cleaner, air fresheners, trash bags, and most things on the Target essentials list. ;)

Do you have any homemade or simple cleaning solutions to share? I don’t like cleaning but I like talking about it. <3

Oh my, hello March! This month snuck up on me but I’m really excited for this experiment: Meditation March. I can’t believe I haven’t written a post on meditation yet, though I do mention it quite a bit. Meditation is such a good fit here at the Essentialists… it’s about slowing down, noticing where you are and focusing on the essence of something. We’ve been fans for over five years and it was a crucial element to my healing. So why do we need a new habit around meditation if it’s already a habit? We’d like more and we’d like to get back to starting the day with it.

For a while, meditation was a part of My Morning Routine and it was fabulous. But things changed when I got pregnant. I stopped practicing the routine when I had 20 weeks of horrible morning sickness. I continued to meditate daily though, using pain meditations. Oh, and meditation is so valuable during the third trimester and childbirth. And then we had Peanut and it was about survival for a few months. I still continued to meditate daily though, either to help myself fall asleep at odd hours of the day or during the many hours of nursing in the beginning.

For the most part, meditation simply makes me a happier person but there are other benefits I’ve noticed. Meditation helps me:
+ be mindful of the thoughts in my head so I can quiet the critical voice
+ get in touch with my intuition
+ stay more focused throughout the day
+ calm my nervous system (less anxiety!)
+ start the morning with self-care so I feel more taken care of the rest of the day

So for the month of March, I’m getting back into meditating daily first thing in the morning.
+ As soon as I wake up, before feeding Peanut, I’ll sneak into his room (our old meditation room/studio) and enjoy the light and peace. (He’ll spend this bit of time with Greg)
+ I’m going to start with 5 minutes (start small!) and add time weekly, hopefully working up to 10 minutes a day by the end of the month.
+ I’ll do both guided (still loving the app Buddhify) and unguided meditations depending on how I’m feeling.
+ As my thoughts wander, I will take notice, bring them back to the meditation, and continue.

I’m feeling better already! As always, I’ll keep you posted on how it goes. <3

++ Greg is joining in Meditation March but is choosing to add his session daily before lunch.

Reflections on our February Habit: Food Journal:
For the month of February, Greg and I kept food journals, recording everything we ate for the day. The question was, would we eat differently if we had to write everything down?

The answer is... kind of. :/ Early on, we decided to use an app that lets you record your meals as well as take a photo of what you’re eating. (We used the very simple My Diet Tracker... do you have a better one?)

We both noticed a shift in our eating habits for the first few days...
+ It’s kind of a pain to stop and write everything down so we wouldn’t just grab a quick snack or bite.
+ The before photos also helped as we had to pre-portion our servings. We could only eat what was in the photo!
+ The act of recording meals certainly made us more aware of what we were eating. Awareness is the first step to many changes.
+ And I ended up eating more which became a goal of mine. Sometimes I feel like Peanut eats more lunch than I do so I portioned out what I wanted to eat and tried to finish it.
+ After about the first week, we adapted and stopped making better choices. We both feel that if we had more accountability (i.e., sharing this information somewhere), the healthier habits would have stuck.

I've learned a little bit from this experiment but I'm looking forward to putting less effort into my eating. The more I listen to what my body wants (yes, you may have 10 french fries), the more satisfied I am and ultimately, the better I eat. Awareness is important but, for me, so is having a relaxed attitude and giving myself space to just be.

Last week, I posted about 5 Ways to Share Essentialism with Others. Another aspect of enjoying this lifestyle is knowing how to best work through an organizing project with friends and family in your life. These ideas might sound familiar as they are similar to the 5 Steps to a Successful Habit Shift. The tactics are simple and they work!

HOW TO APPROACH AN ORGANIZING PROJECT WITH FAMILY
1. Make sure your family is interested! It can be painful to work on a decluttering or organizing project with somebody who isn’t on board. Here are some ways to talk about essentialism and letting go in general with family. Share your goal and start a conversation about it. If you meet too much resistance, work on it solo for now.

2. Consult Essentialism 101, focusing on shared Priorities in Step 2. Get on the same page right away. Discuss your joint vision for the space. Take the time to write out what functions you all want from the space. What’s the goal and what do you want it to look like in the end? (Extra credit: also have discussions about what behavior might be contributing to the clutter or mess. Can you agree on shifting some habits together to prevent future clutter creep?)
Let’s take a common example of clearing out the garage. Share your goals and some adjectives of what you’d like the end product to look like. Clean? Bright? Energizing? What functions are priorities: room to park the car, an area for outdoors gear, some storage for tools and home supplies?

3. Time box. Set aside an afternoon or a few hours. Make sure everyone is fed and hydrated. These projects get much harder when someone becomes hangry or tired. Agree on a chunk of time, block it off on the calendar, and stick to the clock. If you don’t finish, you can set aside another time block for later. If you’re having so much fun ;) and want to continue, agree to take a break and check in with each other every 30 minutes or so. That said, try to move through items quickly. If you notice yourselves becoming indecisive, utilize a MAYBE pile so you can keep up the momentum.

4. Start small. It is very common to take on a large organizing project with no concept of how long it may take. You might end the afternoon with a bed covered in clothing and no place to sleep ;) This process usually gets uglier before it gets better so bite off a small piece, finish it to completion, and repeat if you have the time. Choose one section or one category and work through the 5 steps of Essentialism 101.
Also, start with the easy stuff. There might be items that are obviously of no use to anybody anymore. Simple! Or there are bulky items that take up more room than they're worth. Don’t start with memory boxes from childhood or items that often cause conflict.
For the garage example, maybe you start with a storage shelf in the back. You brainstorm about what you want to store there in the future, take everything off, decide what’s working and what’s not, and then restore the area. Or maybe you start with one category: sports equipment. You discuss your joint vision for your relationship to sports stuff, then gather all of the equipment from the home, decide what’s working and what’s not, and restore the area!

5. Respect your differences. Try to work separately but together. In the garage, maybe you go through a box of your college papers while your partner sorts through tools, asking for help when you could use a nudge to help let go. A lot of times, stuff becomes clutter because only one person is attached. If the whole family loves something, it tends to be on display. If nobody loves something, it's easy to let go!
We all have different attachments. Try to understand why the project might be a struggle for each of you. Kindly question what should stay but don’t push it. Instead of playing the enemy, be a compassionate observer.
In the end, remember to focus on why you’re doing this and your shared vision. My partner is a tad more sentimental than I am but I love living with him so his stuff gets to stay ;)

Decluttering with family can be tricky but if you follow these tactics, you'll have a better chance of success with fewer disagreements. You may even find a cheerleader! 

+ And Happy Valentines Day! <3 I felt pretty lucky to have two cute valentines this year!

++ theESSENTIALISTS now has a Pinterest page and an Instagram account. Take a peek. xo

The Simple Living Summit is coming up next week! It’s free to participate. There will be a bunch of discussions and videos available about simple living. I’m really excited to see Greg McKeown’s talk. He actually wrote a book on Essentialism! So go sign up here if you’re interested in the conference or any of the talks. (Be warned you may get a bunch of emails from the summit but you can unsubscribe if it's too much.) My session is on Thursday, February 16, 2017. <3

One of the topics I frequently get asked about and one that Wuyen and I chat about is practicing Essentialism with Others. There are two issues to discuss here. The first is getting people on board with the lifestyle and concept of "less is more". The second is how to best work through an organizing project with family or friends (which I’ll dive into next week).

So let’s say you were feeling overwhelmed with stuff and life in general and you started reading about decluttering or essentialism or minimalism. Maybe you saw the Minimalism documentary on Netflix! Anyway, you got excited about making a life change and you’re now feeling great as you’ve been letting go of the excess. But you live with people or you’re moving in with someone or you have a loved one who could also really benefit. What should you do?

5 WAYS TO SHARE ESSENTIALISM:
1. The easiest way to get rid of stuff is to start with someone else’s. Hah! This is what we all want. Our stuff is important and should stay so our partner’s stuff is really the problem. In fact, strangers even ask me how to make their wife/husband/child get rid of X!! The answer is: you can’t. It’s not up to us to change somebody else’s lifestyle. They have to want to and find their own WHY. Respect lifestyle differences, as you would like yours to be respected, and be compassionate about other people’s journeys.

2. You can, however, lead by example! Do the work yourself and let others notice the shift. Despite the fact that I have a blog for this very purpose, even I’m not great at promoting living with less. But somehow most people notice our lifestyle. Our friends share their decluttering victories with us or their value shifts around gifting or shopping. Essentialism is contagious!

3. Communicate the benefits. Share the joys of having more time to play, a healthier lifestyle, a cleaner home, and bigger savings. For example, it's great to not stress about people coming over because it's so easy to keep the home tidy. And one of the main reasons why I’m now able to work part-time (and have more time with Peanut), is that Essentialism has saved us that much money. We spend our money in line with our priorities so we can make a little less while living a little more.

4. Ask for support. A good way to get people on board with any change is to ask them to help you. If you have a weight loss goal or an exercise goal, you might ask a loved one to make a few adjustments to help keep you on track. “Please don’t keep ice cream around” or “please make sure I go for a run first”. The same can be true for essentializing. Maybe request that a designated area or room stay uncluttered. Agree on a clutter-free bedroom or that toys stay in the kids' room. Or maybe you change shopping dates into hiking dates or decluttering dates. Sexy ;)

5. Does it really matter? Some people might not be on board with these changes. Decide if the conflict is worth it. Are you trying to influence somebody you live with or somebody you see a few times a year? If it’s a less intimate or less frequent interaction, maybe the payoff isn't worth the headache. My mother-in-law doesn’t need to be a practicing essentialist. We try to communicate our lifestyle and values with her but we’re probably never going to agree on everything. And that's fine. 

Now, if you share a space or a life with someone, focus on what you do have in common instead of what you don’t. Focus on your shared values and not on the specific clutter.  Having differences is okay but try to find and start from common ground. I'll elaborate on this more in next week's post on how to best work through an organizing project with others!

++ Ooh, also, I’ve started flirting with social media for the blog a bit. theESSENTIALISTS now has a Pinterest page (what?) and an Instagram account (totes!). Take a look, follow along, share, become friends. I’d love to connect with you more, especially in a visual way! <3 <3 <3

Something I've learned is that it’s easier to make a change if you’re aware of and measuring your actions surrounding it. Getting out of debt? Record where all of your money goes. Getting in shape? Track your workouts and progress. The act of recording keeps you on task and creates some accountability while the change over time, even if slow, helps keep you motivated.

The same is true for food and dieting. When trying to lose weight, keeping a food journal has been shown to not only double the amount of weight loss but also to help keep it off. This awareness is huge in shifting habits. It’s harder to eat a second dessert if you know you're going to record it.

The goal this month is a little different for us. This is at Greg's request. He wants to experiment with keeping a food journal. We don’t have an ideal outcome and are mostly curious to see what comes up. Will this added accountability cause any shifts? Will we eat differently if we have to write everything down? Perhaps we’ll make a discovery a week or two in and design a goal then?

Since Greg usually puts up with my silly or even selfish monthly experiments, I’m joining in. I don’t have a great relationship with food diaries as my experience has been limited to strict elimination diets and gestational diabetes. Will I feel different about it if I’m not reporting to doctors? Honestly, I’ve been putting so much energy into Peanut’s solid food that a little effort into my diet might be nice. And I love meal planning! 

Are you down for Food Journal February? What if this habit is more useful than most diet rules? I would take journaling over low-carb any day ;)

Reflections on our January Habit: Slow the F Down:
Overall, life is feeling a bit more manageable these days. For the month of January, we intentionally created space by practicing a weekly Sabbath, leaving the weekends open, and postponing most classes and socializing.

At first, saying “No” and delaying events was a little awkward. There’s a voice that tells me we need to socialize! Community is so important! But I’m a better person when I have more alone time and intimate family time. I feel so much more engaged and present. We were more ourselves this month and were more aware when outings or groups wouldn't suit us. What a great feeling.

Things were of course still hectic on and off! We continued to struggle with getting enough sleep, plus there were outings, projects, protests, and general life with a baby.

Will life ever feel slow again? I'm accepting the transition into life with a child. Shockingly, I’m not as rested as I was with 12 hours of sleep a night while pregnant ;p I am fortunate to still have space in my life but now there’s a new normal. Hopefully, the lessons of this experiment will stick with us for a while. It seems like around here they are the key to having fewer harried days.

I write a lot about habits here, or experiments really, that help us learn what we can do with or without. Some of the experiments are small (Daily Gratitude November), some turn out to be huge (5 Things A Day) and the successful ones tend to have a few things in common.

We've had a very successful habit shift this month. You know we live in a paperless home but I believe digital clutter can weigh us down just as much. You see, we've been taking a lot of photos lately. A lot. There's this cute little thing in our world that we can't get enough of.

We have the intention of capturing and sharing at least one image every day for the first year of Peanut's life. This has led to thousands of unsorted photos sitting in a folder in our Dropbox account. Bummer! We would go through photos here and there but never really felt on top of them. Until this month! Here's what we've done and what tends to help a new habit stick around here:

5 STEPS TO A SUCCESSFUL HABIT SHIFT:
1. Be specific. The more concrete and actionable your habit is, the less energy is required to actually do it. We have a goal: to sort through the thousands of photos from the last nine months. If it goes well, we'll continue to sort through the backlog. To be specific, we defined sorting as: deleting bad photos (so important!); transferring the rest to folders (we sort by date); and choosing some to share with family or even print for frames or the baby book.

2. Start small. Commit to an easy daily task. We have thousands of photos to get through but we probably wouldn't be smiling at each other if we sat down to sort them all at once. Deciding to tackle just a few on a daily basis is much more manageable and, even more important, makes it easier to sit down and start!

3. Find a trigger. It can be really helpful to have an existing routine or habit to piggyback off of. Our morning and evening routines are pretty solid but we didn't want to add more time to them. I noticed that after putting Peanut to sleep, I spend 12 minutes pumping milk and have that time that I can focus on another activity. The pumping has to happen or we won't have milk when I go out so it's a great routine to connect with our photo sorting.

4. Time box. It really helps to know that this task isn't going to go on forever. All we have to do is start and it will be over very quickly. (This is more important for annoying habits and not super cute ones like this ;) After saying goodnight to Peanut, I set up to pump and we spend 12, and only 12, minutes sorting through photos. We usually get through a week's worth which means we're getting ahead! 

5. Have a simple system. We have folders set up so all we have to do is delete the bad ones as we scroll through Preview. At the end of 12 minutes, we place the remaining ones into folders and we're done!

++ And then we do it again tomorrow. It would be okay if we had to miss a day but we would work really hard to not miss two. If we miss two or feel that the habit is too difficult to keep, we would look at what's not working and make some adjustments.

Are you interested in making small life changes? I'd love to know what habits you're trying to shift and what's working for you!!

+ When it comes to productivity, I've been inspired by a number of sources. If you're interested in diving deeper into habit stickiness, check out Zen Habits and Asian Efficiency. 

A few years ago I was searching for a way to get Greg off of the laptop for part of the weekend... this might sound a bit manipulative but it comes from a good place and it’s worked out ;) We had slowed down our lives successfully by editing our calendars and removing our excess possessions but I wasn’t feeling that connection that I craved. We both needed time to unwind and space to re-energize. I flirted with a digital sabbatical experiment and as I did some research, I realized what we needed was a weekly Sabbath. We needed that long span of time at the end of the week to do very little, recover from stress, and reconnect with each other. We needed a full day of rest.

I never practiced Sunday Sabbath as a child so I was really drawn to some elements of the Jewish Sabbath. Most religions have a day of rest and as we become too busy to take it, we may be getting more depressed. Greg and I drafted some guidelines for rest and we've been practicing something similar ever since!

IDEAS FOR IMPLEMENTING A WEEKLY SABBATH:
+ Start on Friday at sundown, right after work and continue until Saturday at sundown. Say a little something before starting, to acknowledge the shift and set intentions for the time.

+ Enjoy a nourishing meal as a family. Friday tends to be slow-cooker day around here so our Friday night meal is pretty easy and sometimes we have challah and wine! Include the aforementioned benediction? Great! Add a candle and dim the lights? Even better!

+ Limit cooking and cleaning. Other than Saturday breakfast, we try to stay out of the kitchen and away from the laundry. Also, limit shopping. And spending money in general.

+ Make it a digital sabbatical as well. No screens for 24 hours! (We’re constantly working on this one.) For us, this means laptops and controllers put away in a box but phones out for maps and photos. TV and Facebook are not restful.

+ Sleep and maybe get bored! Go to bed early, sleep in if you can, and take a nap after breakfast. This is where the actual rest comes in. And getting bored isn't a bad thing, that's when we get some of our best ideas.

So what to do instead? Read! Hike! Meditate! Have long conversations! Sit and smile! Consider a spiritual practice! Get reacquainted with quiet! Enjoy life!

You know I love rituals! Weekly Sabbath has become an important part of our routine and an important tool to break our routine. It helps us unwind at the end of the week, reset our nervous systems and patience, reconnect as a family as we focus on being present with each other, and catch up on sleep to re-energize for the weekend. (Greg might miss his laptop though;).

++ This weekly ritual was inspired by Tiffany Shlain’s Weekly Technology Shabbat: “Time slows down when you’re not online”. And for the future, I’m considering Friday Night Meatballs with our community. <3

Happy New Year! What a crazy one it's been. We’re so excited to start 2017.

Are you into resolutions? Last year I wrote about some Resolution Alternatives. We do a number of these… we spent some of yesterday discussing our Priorities and doing a Trimester Review. And last week, we came up with our one-word theme for 2017: “soul”. I’m not sure what that means yet but will hopefully let you know. ;p

Although we're feeling excited, we’re also tired and a little run down. I don’t think it was the holidays or advent that did it, but maybe the extra commitments and the increased workload. We’re all introverts (yep, even Peanut) and it’s about time to practice more of what we preach. It’s time to slow down and commit to less.

When I slow down a bit, I'm a more patient wife, a more playful mother, and a more creative creative! Ha. I know the benefits of breathing room and how great I feel when I intentionally create space in my life. I gain perspective, focus, and even possibility! So for the month of January, we’re going to Slow the F Down by:

+ Continuing to practice our weekly Sabbath on Friday nights and Saturdays.

+ Leaving every weekend completely open for rest, relaxation, and fun. We have two existing commitments but that’s it!

+ Postponing weeknight classes and get-togethers until after the end of the month.

+ Practicing mindful socializing during the weekdays with one class a week and a social hang or two.

+ Hiring some childcare help over a couple of weekends so we can single-task to finish a few projects.

And in this space, we’re going to do nothing! Well, we’re going to hang out at home, go on day hikes, watch some football, and go to bed early as the early sunsets make us wont to do. We’re going to replenish our energy, play with Peanut, and focus on our goals for 2017.

+ My favorite January Habit so far was No Spending. If you’d like to reset with a simple challenge, try it out!
++ To our lovely friends: we love you and want to see you and hopefully will do so in February :D

Reflections on our December Habit: Advent:
I love our experience advent calendar. And I’m loving repeating experiments at the same time each year. This one made me smile and was fun to talk about at holiday parties. The goal was to do a festive little something every day to help celebrate and be present with the season. We had a wonderful Chrismukkah this year! 

Advent helped us focus on the joy and fun of the season and not the stress. As expected, we didn’t exactly accomplish one item a day. We skipped a few when we felt too busy but also did more than a couple on weekends for a total of 30! Our completed list was pretty different from last year’s. Having the baby with us meant we went to fewer restaurants and bars and watched fewer movies. Instead, we had more outings and did some kiddo stuff. What a lovely end to a special year for us. <3  Cheers to 2017!

Did any of you try an experience advent calendar? What'd you do?!

‘Tis the season for peace and joy! What does that mean to you and how do you get it? One way is to declutter your stuff and commitments to create more space in your life. Peace! And then spend and live within your values to create mental clarity and gratitude. Joy!

We’ve set ourselves up for success. After examining our habits, figuring out what’s important, and starting from a place of abundance, we can start to let go!

It’s hard enough to find the time and money to do and buy all the things we want (or need)… why spend it on items we don’t even care about? It’s time to reconsider what’s necessary in your life. You need to find things to say “no” to in order to say “yes” to those that really matter. Be ruthless. What’s inhibiting your vision? What’s adding noise? If you don’t keep something, you don’t have to clean it, organize it, store it, or even think about it!

Hobby clutter is a good example. You might love doing an activity but maybe the “stuff” associated with it has become a sort of burden. I’ve seen this happen again and again with clients: they work to get rid of the excess knitting yarn or records or musical instrument accessories and suddenly they enjoy the activity more! There’s less inertia, less weight.

I got rid of almost all of our books and then I started reading nightly again. The ghosts of unread books were haunting me. When I allowed myself to check out books that I wanted to read in the moment, I enjoyed reading again for the first time in almost a decade. I probably went from averaging two books a year to more than two a month!

We started to sort items in Step 3: What’s Working. You picked favorites, set limits, figured out what’s in line with your values. Here are some ideas to help you remove what’s not working:

+ Start small. Or start in a single section or category: one room, one drawer, or one type of commitment. Finish a small task, celebrate and continue! The momentum from small wins is important.

+ Pick the easy things to get rid of first. Trash is easy! And items beyond repair, duplicates, items that don’t make you feel good. If you’ve set limits, remove the excess items.

+ Completely empty the space and consider each item. Categorize before moving on: YES, NO, or MAYBE. We have a tendency to skip over annoying but important decisions, so contemplate each one.

++ Thoughts on allowing a MAYBE pile: One of the biggest challenges when doing this work yourself is losing your energy or enthusiasm. If you are truly stuck deciding on an item, label it “MAYBE” and move on. The momentum really helps the process. At the end, you can re-sort the MAYBES and will probably find that you don’t really need most of them. Alternatively, you can put the MAYBES aside for a few months and plan a time to reconsider them in the future. Your thoughts and emotions might be clearer after time.

+ Ask the right questions. Why is this in my life? is this for the real me or for some fantasy self? Am I keeping this out of guilt or because I feel a sense of “should”? Was it costly in time or money so it's hard to get rid of? Is it attached to a fond (or difficult) memory but no longer used? Is it getting in the way of my priorities?

+ Think of others. It feels better to be grateful for most of what you do and own. If that’s not the case, will somebody else appreciate it more? This can be that emotional cushion if separation has been difficult. Give a little joy to somebody else: those art supplies to a school, the books to your local library, the used video games or records to a collector…

Remove the easy things, the excess, the obstacles to living a life aligned with your values. Find that peace and joy by figuring out what’s important to you and then learn to let go of the rest. What can you remove?

+ In addition to your To-Do List, consider an Ignore List. See Two Lists You Should Look at Every Morning.

++ After the New Year, I’ll finish this series with the fifth and last step. We’ll restore and maintain! Happy Holidays!! <3

It's that time of year again! We're starting my favorite repeating habit:

December Habit: Experience Advent Calendar
For the month of December, we like to do a festive little something every day to help celebrate and be present with the season. This is our fourth year doing something similar and it makes the holiday season much merrier with less stress. We start our Advent Calendar the Sunday after Thanksgiving but December 1st also works!

Here's the list we're starting with, with classic ideas from last year’s and new additions including some for Baby's first. Hopefully these can help give you some ideas but the more personal, the better.

GIFTS:
Make a list for Santa (done!)
Start Christmas shopping (see Lean Gifting)
Wrap our gifts (see Lean Wrapping)
Open our stockings (My grandmother insisted on Christmas Eve ;)

PAMPERING:
Pre-holiday massages
Pre-party facial (I love her)
Holiday manicure

BABY’S FIRST CHRISTMAS:
Photo with Santa
Meet live reindeer
Get a new stocking! (I think my aunt is making one <3)
Start an ornament (-making?) tradition
New Christmas PJs (family tradition)

DECOR:
Tree shopping (done!)
Hang the lights!
Decorate the tree
Make a cool + cute Christmas Tree Hanging out of rosemary or tape
Hang mistletoe and enjoy ;)
Make Star Wars snowflakes

FOOD & DRINK:
Make Alton Brown's Eggnog (done!) (and use the leftovers for Baked French Toast)
Enjoy a special holiday cocktail like the Olive Oil one at Third Rail
Eat latkes at a Hanukkah party
Indulge in Humphry Slocombe's Hot Toddy Sundae!
Make classic Chex Mix (my favorite holiday snack)
Sip the Clear Creek Douglas Fir Eau de Vie at Absinthe
Enjoy a local restaurant's Hanukkah menu (we like Burritt Tavern's)
Out for a fancy hot chocolate

ACTIVITIES IN:
Create and share a Spotify holiday playlist
Watch Diehard (my fave Christmas movie, already queued up ;)
Watch an old Christmas movie like A Christmas Carol or the original How the Grinch Stole Christmas (we like to have movies span two nights)
Read The Night Before Christmas and/or The Polar Express
Start a Christmas puzzle
Watch the SNL Christmas Special
Watch A Charlie Brown Christmas

ACTIVITIES OUT:
Go to an office Holiday Party (12/2!)
Visit the Remodelista Holiday Market (12/10 & 12/11 at Heath Ceramics)
Take a class at 18 Reasons like the Gingerbread House Workshop or a Cognac Tasting
Sleigh Ride! (12/26!)
Volunteer wrapping gifts or at a food bank (Greg likes to teach kids to code ;)
Go see a Christmas concert (perhaps David Bazan this year) and maybe A Charlie Brown Christmas - Live at the Symphony next year
Watch our friend Sara caroling <3
Go see the decorations (and kittens!) in Union Square
Enjoy the lights and a holiday excursion on a train like this one
Donate to a toy drive and a coat drive
Go to the snow or find indoor snow!

+ I’m also back into these adult beverage advent calendars!

++ And again, if you'd like help slowing down for the holiday season, look into Courtney Carver's 31 Days of Gifts You So Deserve 2016. It's a meaningful "advent calendar in your inbox", reminding you to make room for yourself and enjoy.

Reflections on our November Habit: Daily Gratitude
Daily Gratitude November was so lovely! What a good reminder that sometimes the simplest experiments have the greatest outcomes. We left our Halloween Squash on the table with a gold Sharpie. Around dinner time, we discussed and wrote down something we were grateful for.

I think this practice really helped lift our spirits. It made us hopeful. It made us walk through our day looking for things to be grateful for. I had a couple of crappy days and forcing myself to think about what was working really helped shift my perspective. The experiment reminded me of Love Note February (one of my favorites!) and its benefits. <3

This is definitely going to be a repeated November habit but I’m hoping to make it a daily habit year-round as well. We’ll at least keep going until the squash is full… Any ideas for where to record our gratitudes after that?!