The Eternal Nothingness Of An Empty Mind

On Death & Immortality

2011-11-27T16:06:00.000+08:00

The prospect of death, the acknowledgment that all will die someday, has two strangely opposite possible effects: people either care less about themselves, others, the world; or they do something great for at least their memories to remain. The first is resigning; the second is cheating -- cheating death, an attempt at immortality.

Pacquiao vs. Mosley Livestream

2011-05-08T10:59:00.001+08:00

As just another regular Juan, of course, I'm going to watch the Pacquiao-Mosley fight. I bet Pacquiao's going to have hard time fighting Mosley, but he should win. But that could just be wishful thinking. Let's see if I'm right an hour after this.

But well, if you're interested, I chanced upon a site that offers free live-streaming of the Pacquiao-Mosley fight. It claims to make no copyright violations/infringements. Just click on the pic below to go to the site.

Kinaray-a & Ilocano

2011-05-07T17:27:00.004+08:00

This is one of the three articles I moved from my now-defunct blog, Hiligaynon kag Kinaray-a. I decided to delete the blog and focus on this blog. It doesn't really matter that the topics contained in this blog are now a little too different from each other. I can categorize the different articles anyway. Anyway, here are the links to the other articles.

Some things about Kinaray-a
Kinaray-a & Hiligaynon

My first language is Kinaray-a. But I can also speak Hiligaynon, Tagalog and English. I also understand Aklanon, Cebuano, and little bit of Waray. I've been studying Ilocano for a little more than five months now and I think I’m doing just fine. Thanks to Izanor Lyn Javier of Nadsaag in San Juan, La Union for patiently teaching me her language.

Some time ago, I wrote that the middle sound in Ilocano and Kinaray-a are the same. (Click here to see the article.) Wen, the same. But well, the similarity between the two languages doesn't end there.

I first encountered Ilocano when I was in kindergarten. Actually, I didn't know it was Ilocano until I was 22, when I was told that it was actually, uhm, Ilocano. We had this presentation at school and we sang songs and danced dances and wore things that, if only we had better minds then, we'd never think of wearing. I wore this blue-and-green checkered pair of polo and pants (which were more like pyjamas, it made me look like I was going to sleep) and my partner wore baro't saya. For our props, they put up this front part of a nipa hut. When I think of now, it makes me realize that our teacher (Ma’am Carol Aligarbes) must have really exerted great effort for our presentation to be good. My partner was "inside" the "nipa house" for our number, and she opened the window when I sang to her my Manang Biday song. I still have pictures of this at home (and I think I look quite cute in there) so maybe I could post them here in my blog next time. I can't really remember if I pronounced my words correctly then, or if I was told the meaning of the song (I have such poor memory), but I know that I really enjoyed our presentation.

But going back to our topic here, I just noticed a very striking similarity between Kinaray-a and Ilocano aside from the middle sound. Kinaray-a shares most of its vocabulary with Hiligaynon, but there is this group of words -- pronouns actually, though I’m not sure if they’re in the ablative case - which is more similar to Ilocano than to Hiligaynon. I wonder why the similarity, and why specifically in this group of words.

Here, in the chart, I included Hiligaynon and Tagalog for comparison. Hiligaynon, Tagalog, and Kinaray-a all belong to the Central Philippine branch of the Meso-Philippine group of Philippine languages, while Ilocano belongs to the Northern Luzon branch of the Northern Philippine group of Philippine languages.

Kinaray-a	Ilocano	Hiligaynon	Tagalog
kanaken	kanyak	sa akun	sa akin
kanimu	kanyam	sa imu	sa iyo
kaninyu	kanyayo / kadakayo	sa inyu	sa inyo
kana	kanyana	sa iya	sa kanya
kananda	kanyada	sa ila	sa kanila
kanamen	kanyamin	sa amun	sa amin
kanaten	kadatayo	sa atun	sa atin

Know any explanation for this? I don't know yet. But I'm really tempted to think that maybe we need to look at the possibility of truth in H. Othley Beyer's Waves of Migration Theory again.

(Originally published on October 26, 2005)

Kinaray-a & Hiligaynon

2011-05-07T17:11:00.001+08:00

Some things about Kinaray-a
Kinaray-a & Ilocano

For quite a long time now, some local academicians have been spreading the idea that Hiligaynon traces its origin to Kinaray-a. Even Aklanon, they say, comes from Kinaray-a. "The mother language of West Visayas is Kinaray-a or Hiraya," says Dr. Leoncio P. Deriada. How true is this?

If this claim is to be believed, they very much go against the researches done by linguists several years back. Those researches resulted to classifications and groupings of the different languages in the Philippines. According to those, Hiligaynon and Kinaray-a both belong to the Bisayan branch of the Central Philippines subgroup of the large Meso-Philippines language group. However, if we go further, Kinaray-a is found to belong to the West sub-branch of the Bisayan language sub-sub-grouping (where it joins Aklanon, Malaynon, Kinaray-a, Cuyonon, Inonhan, and Caluyanun), while Hiligaynon belongs to the Central sub-branch of the Bisayan language sub-sub-grouping. (Please check the whole Philippine language tree in Carl Rubino's website. A similar tree can be found in Jessie Grace Rubrico's website.)

I am not very familiar with how this tree (I mean the whole language tree) has been arrived at, but I'm working on it right now. I need to know how the researchers did it, what methods they used, etc. Rubrico included her references in her website, but I don't know where I can download copies of those articles, manuscripts, etc.

But if ever I find them, the readings, I'm sure it will solve the conflict between the two claims. So is Kinaray-a the mother of Western Visayan languages? I'll tell you about it next time.

(Originally published on October 26, 2005)

Some things about Kinaray-a

2011-05-07T16:50:00.030+08:00

This is one of the three articles I moved from my now-defunct blog, Hiligaynon kag Kinaray-a. I decided to delete the blog and focus on this blog. It doesn't really matter that the topics contained in this blog are now a little too different from each other. I can categorize the different articles anyway. Anyway, here are the links to the other articles:

Kinaray-a & Hiligaynon
Kinaray-a & Ilocano

(This article is in reaction to Chris Sundita's Hear me speak Kinaray-a! article.)

It seems to me that more and more people now start to think that Kinaray-a is an Antique language. It is not. I mean it's an Iloilo language, too. More people in Antique speak Kinaray-a than in Iloilo, but Kinaray-a is not the only language spoken in Antique. There are others. Call them dialects if you like. But I'm straying away from this a little.

Several towns in Iloilo are Kinaray-a speaking. Among these are Miagao, Tigbauan, San Joaquin, Tubungan, Alimodian, Leon, and several others. These towns are in the southern part of Iloilo, near the borders of Antique. The Kinaray-a spoken in these towns, however, are not (very much) the same as that (or those) in Antique. The trend is that (as is the tendency for every language) the nearer the towns are to each other (e.g., San Joaquin and Miagao, Leon and Tubungan), the more similar their Kinaray-a are. (Maybe Chris Sundita can discuss a little about isoglosses in his blog.)

Iloilo towns farther and farther from the Kinaray-a speaking towns speak more and more Ilonggo/Hiligaynon until the very Hiligaynon parts of Iloilo near the city are reached. But it can also be said this way: towns farther from Iloilo City are less and less Hiligaynon. Towns in between the "more Kinaray-a" ones and the "more Hiligaynon" ones speak a mixture, in different degrees, of Hiligaynon and Kinaray-a.

The same thing is true in Antique. Different Antique towns speak different Kinaray-as. I am not sure which language/s (aside from Hiligaynon and Aklanon) they share their vocabulary with (maybe Cuyunon and other Palawan languages?), but the trend is that the nearer the Antique town is to the north (which is where Aklan is), the more different (i.e., more Aklanon) it is from the Kinaray-a spoken in the south. Maybe the notion that Antique is an ALL KINARAY-A speaking province will be clarified if the Aklanons talked more about their language.

Now, with regard to the schwa problem, I find no difference between the Ilocano middle sound (as in "wen", yes) and the Kinaray-a middle sound (as in "hu-ud", or as Chris suggested it spelled, "he-ed", also yes).

I really think that the letter "e" would be the better graphic representation for that middle sound. Ernesto Constantino, in fact, did just that in his Kinaray-a Dictionary (I found a copy of it in the Center for West Visayan Studies in UP Iloilo City).

But why hasn't it caught Kinaray-a writers? I can only think of one explanation: Hiligaynon and Kinaray-a share a very large amount of vocabulary. But it is always the case that when a word is similar to the two languages, the schwa sound in the Kinaray-a would be transformed to /u/ in Hiligaynon.

Kin.: aken (mine)
Hil.: akun (mine)

Kin.: he-e(d) (yes)
Hil.: hu-u (yes)

Kin.: bedlay (difficult)
Hil.: budlay (difficult)

To change the "o" or "u" (as graphic representation for the schwa sound) to "e" would be difficult for Kinaray-a writers because it would "cut" the easy link between Hiligaynon and Kinaray-a. Yes, it may just be a matter of being used to it, but it will take quite some time before Kinaray-a writers used "e" for the schwa sound, if ever they will.

(Originally published on September 15, 2005.)

Resto Review: South Park Restaurant, Guimbal, Iloilo

2011-04-28T21:19:00.003+08:00

Today marks another year for me and Izanor. We decided to have lunch down south (south of Iloilo, that is) at South Park Grill House since I also had a few papers to sign at the office in Miagao.

We left Alimodian at 10:30 am, taking the Cordova (Leon-Tigbauan) short cut, and were at South Park by 11:15. South Park Grill House (or simply South Park) is located at Brgy. Nanga, Guimbal. From Iloilo, it's at the right side of the road just a few hundred meters from Racso's Resort and the LTO Guimbal Office.

At South Park. Photo by E.A. Lerona. 2011.

It was my second time at South Park, but it was Iza's first. My first time was about two months ago with Manong Rupert, Rhoda, and Jay (Rhoda's hubby). I liked the crispy pata so much that I forgot the other food we had; what I remember is that I had nothing to complain about.

Izanor at South Park. Photo by E.A. Lerona. 2011.

Today, I realized that the restaurant really serves good food. I also saw that the restaurant has been receiving awards from the Department of Health (DOH) since 2005, so it must be good.

Award from DOH.Photo by E.A. Lerona. 2011.

We ordered seafoods chop suey, fish and chips, grilled chicken (paa), and mango shake. We also ordered sotanghon guisado for take out, but we decided to go on a diet, so no rice! In less than 15 minutes, the waiter served our food, and everything was delicious.

Southpark Seafoods Chop Suey. Photo by E.A. Lerona. 2011.

Southpark Fish and Chips. Photo by E.A. Lerona. 2011.

Southpark Grilled Chicken (Paa). Photo by E.A. Lerona. 2011.

When we were through, we felt satisfied: we felt full yet our stomachs didn't feel heavy. Maybe because none of the food felt greasy. All of the veggies on the chop suey were crispy. We felt healthy. We thought that diets ought to be done that way.

When we paid our bill, our waiter, Joart, immediately gave us the sotanghon guisado. Fast and prompt service. Good service. For sure, we will be returning to South Park in the future.

To inquire/make reservations, call (033) 315-55-29 or text Bunny at 0908-742-8999.

FotoQuote of the Day [04/27/2011]

2011-04-27T22:30:00.000+08:00

"Let the photographer make a perfect photograph. And if he happens to be a lover of perfection and a seer, then the resulting photograph would be straight and beautiful." - Alfred Stieglitz


Elderly woman chatting with priest while waiting for Lenten procession to start. Holy Friday, Alimodian, Iloilo. Photo by E.A. Lerona. 2011.

Congratulations, 2011 Graduates!

2011-04-26T20:21:00.001+08:00

Congratulations to all 2011 graduates of UPV Miagao and Iloilo campuses. Today, you made your parents proud. Today, you wore your sablay proud. But what is the sablay?

In UP, graduates wear sablay over their dress or barong instead of having to wear toga. Not all UP campuses do this, but the sablay has become another symbol for UP.

In Ilonggo (or Hiligaynon if you like), the word sablay means to hang. The stress is in the first syllable. It is synonymous to the word halay, the stress of which is in the second syllable. For both words, put the stress in the wrong place and you end up with something you don't want to happen to you especially on your graduation day.

Sablay weaver in Baguio. Photo by E.A. Lerona. 2009.

From Wikipedia:

"The Sablay is a sash joined in front by an ornament and embroidered or printed with the University's initials in Baybayin script and running geometric motifs of indigenous Philippine ethnic groups... Candidates for graduation wear the sablay at the right shoulder, and is then moved to the left shoulder after the President of the University confers their degree, similar to the moving of the tassel of the academic cap."

A little bit of Nikon history

2011-04-24T10:13:00.000+08:00

I shoot Nikon. I like Nikon. There's a coined term to refer to Nikon-lovers: Nikonians. I don't want to call myself that, but I do like Nikon.

My first DSLR was the D40. I purchased it in December of 2008, and I've already shot more than 100,000 with it. Its shutter actually got stuck after about 80,000 shutter clicks, but I opened it and put some WD40 on the shutter gear wheels and it has sprung back to life! It's one hell of a tough camera!

Now I shoot with a D7000. I'm a happy dog, you can see me hold my Nikon while wagging my tail. Now if I could only get myself some more moolah to buy original Nikon lenses.

Anyway, have you ever wondered why Nikon cameras today display a red inverted triangle at the front? I'm referring to that red thing at the upper part of the grip. Watch these movies to find out.

FotoQuote of the Day [04/23/2011]

2011-04-23T11:22:00.001+08:00

Another quote from the great Ansel Adams.

"I'm interested in expressing something that is built up from within rather than just extract it from without."

Father and son on the trek down Agony Hill in
Alimodian, Iloilo. Holy Friday, 2011.

FotoQuote of the Day [04/22/2011]

2011-04-22T01:42:00.001+08:00

A quote from one of the most popular photographer of all time that highlights the importance of having a clear vision prior to taking (or making) the photograph.

"When I'm ready to take a photograph, I think I obviously see in my mind's eye something that is not literally there." - Ansel Adams

Gravel piles at a quarry site in Brgy. Binalud, Alimodian, Iloilo. 2008.

FotoQuote of the Day [04/20/2011]

2011-04-20T15:44:00.003+08:00

I'm starting a series in my blog. I wanted to write something longer, like an article on my photography, but this was easier to write. It's been 2 years and a half since I purchased my first digital SLR. I've shot more than 80,000 with it, and I now have my second DSLR. I read a lot about the subject, bought a lot of books (mostly second-hand from Booksale), and kept on shooting and shooting until I got better. Not that I am really good already, but "improving" is such a good-sounding word. So I'm giving the first FotoQuote of the Day.

"What is good in a photograph if it's so simple? Truth is, therein lies the difficulty; for if a photograph were to be simple, it has to be frank, straightforward, and just tell its story. It has to be obvious. In short, it has to be simple. Good photographs are almost always simple. In fact, the best photographs have always been simple. Now whoever said keeping things simple is always easy?"

A boy follows as his mother processes her clearance at NBI in Iloilo. 2011.

The Nikon D40: My Introduction to Photography

2011-04-09T23:14:00.005+08:00

I am reviving this blog site. Not that anyone is reading this, but I know this site will be found someday. And it would be a shame that there will only be a few useful things in here when I could have written more. I know I have many things to share, and I shouldn't be selfish and just keep them to myself. And so I'm so very back.

In the meantime, here's a re-post of something I wrote for a different blog site I created about a year ago. I'm deleting that other blog. I'm instead writing everything I want to write here. This blog is a keeper. Anyway, this article is about a camera since I'm now into photography.

It's almost been a year since I got my own DSLR camera -- my first SLR, a Nikon D40. I bought it for Php 21,500.00 at Henry's Camera Shop in Quiapo. It cost around Php 27,000.00 in malls then. Now it's sold at Php 23,500.00 at Henry's and Php 29,500.00 in malls. Seemingly, other digital cameras, particularly the point & shoot ones (that's P&S for you, acronymphobics) have become cheaper. The cheapening, of course, is due to digital obsolescence (read more about it here), but the tiny compact D40 has become a little more expensive! This made me think and come up with theories as to why this is so, and here are (for me) the two most plausible: a) the peso has become cheaper compared to the dollar; and b) there is still a good demand for Nikon D40.

Both are, I think, true (unless you point out to me that they are not and explain why), and so that gives me reason to celebrate my choice of my first DSLR.

It was October last year, when I was still trying to finish my Glosari ng Kinaray-a project for NCCA, when it dawned upon me that an affordable digital SLR was at my (financial) reach. I asked around for what would be a good, affordable model, and on top of my respondents' answers of course were Canon and Nikon models.

A few google searches after (but the good readings/reviews came from DPreview and Ken Rockwell), the Nikon D60 and the Canon 1000D topped my list. They were a fresh release back then. Coincidentally, a friend, Medifel, was also planning to buy a DSLR; and that, together with Pablo, started our 3-person discussion group about photography and digital cameras. How my first two choices changed to the final pick of D40 (which wasn't even on my list then) was influenced by the following points raised in the course of those discussions:

1) The Nikon D60 and Canon 1000D each shoot at more than 10 megapixels. The Nikon D40 shoots only at 6 megapixels. But Ken Rockwell, being my main source of information back then, had a good discussion about camera resolution and told me that "megapixels don't really matter."

2) Nikon D60 and Canon 1000D both have CMOS sensors. Nikon D40 still uses a CCD. That sounded like a little discouraging at first. CMOS sounded more high-tech, but a few more readings from the internet (Luminous Landscape) revealed that, ceteris paribus, CCDs are more sensitive to color and therefore bring out better pictures.

3) Still about sensor design. (WARNING: a little Greek sort of explanation follows. You may want to skip to No. 4 instead to avoid potential vertigo.) I read in a book (I'll post the title when I get my hands on it again) that the lower the camera's pixel pitch (or the bigger each pixel is), the better it's performance will be. (You can also read about pixel pitch here.) In English, that means that the fewer (and bigger) the pixels are in a given sensor area, the better the sensor's performance will be. This is because bigger pixels are more sensitive to light than smaller pixels.

Let me place that pictorially. Imagine an area measuring 1 square foot. Imagine 1-inch balls placed on it where each ball represents one pixel. So the area can hold a maximum of 144 balls: that's 144 pixels. In order for us to cram more pixels into the same area, the only thing we can do is reduce the size of the balls to, say, 1/2-inch to make 576 pixels; 1/4-inch to make 2,304 pixels; 1/8-inch to make 9,216 pixels; and so forth.

Now, both the Nikon D40 and D60, as well as Canon 1000D, are APS-C cameras. In English, that means they all have the same sensor size (about 25.1 x 16.7 mm and an aspect ration of 3:2). But look closely and you have 4 more megapixels in both the Nikon D60 and the Canon 1000D. That means that, along the way, they had to make adjustments to cram all that additional number of pixels to the same-sized sensor.

So points 1-3 made it somehow clear to me that the D40 was better than either the Nikon D60 or the Canon 1000D. But another point made the D40 my runaway winner.

4) The D40, as I said, cost Php 21,500.00 in Quiapo back then. The D60, around Php 32,000.00, and the Canon 1000D about the same. I thought it wiser to buy a cheaper (but still capable) camera and buy another lens (a Nikkor 55-200mm VR) and a flash (an SB-400). And so I did.

I purchased my camera in December of 2008.Now, a year after that, I'm still happy with my D40. I've shot lots and lots of pictures with it, and come up with good ones every once in a while. I can say that (without having to compare it to other cameras) it is a perfect camera for beginners. It's easy to operate, it's light, and it can do most of the operations most professional (read: more expensive) DSLRs can. It also is a very dependable camera. I took my 20,000th shot with it last week, and it still runs perfectly. It is a gem of a camera.

A trip to the north: La Union & Baguio

2009-04-10T16:02:00.012+08:00

This is a work in progress. I will little by little try to finish this piece. This might be quite long because I have a lot of things to share and lots of pictures to post. But I apologize if it will take me quite some time to finish this. Work is piling, and I'm actually just stealing time writing this. :-)

Day 1, morning

My family went to a trip to northern Luzon last week. It was a week-long vacation. It was a rides-heavy vacation (imagine having to travel from Alimodian to La Union), and it was tiring, but I'm dying to have another vacation just like it.

This vacation was born more than a year ago when I promised Izanor that I, together with mom and dad, will attend her graduation. And so save money I did, and in February this year already booked tickets for the trip. Dad left for work in the middle of March, and so it was my sister who went along with us.

I think Mom and Laurice seemed much more excited than I was for the trip because the day we were leaving for Manila, they woke up at 2:00 am! (Find out why they were very excited here.) They bathed and got ready so very early that when I roused from my bed, they were already as impatient as their piles of bags waiting for me.

We left home on the 31st of March at around 4:30 in the morning and checked in at the airport at around 5:30. Our flight was at 6:20, the first flight from Iloilo to Manila via Cebu Pacific.

The flight was on time, thankfully, and we arrived in Manila at around 7:10 am. We got all our baggage out before 8:00, but we didn't have much luck waiting for the regular taxi at the Terminal 3 waiting area. It was past 9:00 am when we got our ride, and the traffic was really horrible. The situation even got me into a little quarrel with the driver when a) he wanted to charge us 350 pesos for the ride from NAIA 3 to the PARTAS Bus Station in Cubao, and b) for taking several detours from the route to Cubao, reasoning that the traffic was heavy. I Insisted, of course, that we use his taxi's meter, but I ended up paying him more anyway when he argued that they charged a fee of 55 pesos for parking at the airport. That didn't really get me complaining. The meter was at 180, and paying him 230 pesos (50 pesos over the meter) was still much lesser than how much he wanted to charge us.

We arrived at PARTAS at around 9:45. (That's another reason why I didn't complain about the additional 50 pesos for the taxi.) The PARTAS bus was scheduled to leave at 10:00 am, and we were just on time. So sweet! That's just lucky for the first day of the trip.

Day 1, afternoon
The bus left at around 10:15 am. Another footnote to the concept of Filipino time. I spent most of the time in the bus sleeping, but also enjoyed some of the scenes on the road since the bus did not take its usual route. It was the first time my ride passed by the Diosdado Macapagal International Airport in Pampanga, and by Urdaneta City in Pangasinan and, although I was sleepy, I had to look at scenes. It was mom's and Laurice's first time to go north, alright, but I think they slept more than I did and missed many scenes I was so awed to see the first time I went to La Union in 2005.

Our ride took almost 7 hours. The traffic was heavy in Tarlac and in Urdaneta, and there was a road accident in Bauang causing more traffic, so the bottomline is there was so much traffic that day. And oh, I think I also mentioned the monster traffic condition in Manila when we arrived there.

Luckily for me, I'm always with my Nikon D40. In the last 2 hours of our ride to San Fernando, La Union (to distinguish it from the other San Fernando which is in Pampanga), I toyed with my cam and happened to see this boy and his interesting reflection in the window of the bus. The picture on here is my favorite among the shots.

Finally, before the sun disappeared in the South China Sea, we arrived at San Fernando City. Izanor greeted us with a bilao of palabok bought at Mandarin House Hotel & Restaurant. And off we headed to another ride for the peaceful and quiet Nadsaag.

Finally, a pic to break the words in this blogger's spot

2009-04-09T23:25:00.004+08:00

This is the first picture I uploaded here in this Blogger account using Blogger's new uploader. It's not really new as in the shiny, bling-bling-ey type of new. It's relatively new because it's the first time I'm using it in this account.

But there. Voila! That's the first picture to ever grace my blog account. That's my lovely girlfriend Izanor Lyn Javier for all of you who still don't know her. This picture was taken during our last trip in Baguio. The shot was taken using a Nikon D40 and a cheap 55-200mm F4-F5.6 VR lens. I'll write more about the trip (and of course post more pics) in the next few days.

You may also want to view some of the other shots I took sans my words here. If you do, please don't forget to leave a comment. :-)

A Critique of the Iloilo City Boundary Ordinance

2009-03-28T23:12:00.004+08:00

I started writing this article more than a year ago after the implementation of the Iloilo City Boundary Ordinance. I didn't care finishing it until a few days ago because, while I was almost done writing this, I thought the ordinance was going to be re-evaluated. There were, at some time, rumors that more car passes will be issued to provincial jeepneys going to Iloilo City. But until now, there hasn't been any addition to 4 car passes issued to ALIJODA, the drivers association in Alimodian. This really causes us, Alimodian passengers, a lot of trouble. This is the reason why I had to finish this. And now I'm posting it. Your comments are most welcome.

0.0 I abhor the Iloilo City Boundary Ordinance. I abhor the city officials who passed this ordinance without fully studying its implications. And, most of all, I abhor the stupid, pretentious politicians who make their this-is-all-done-for-the-benefit-of-the-people-of-Iloilo speeches (of course always in front of media camera) to justify the implementation of this ordinance despite protestations, especially of peoples from the province of Iloilo. And that includes me. That’s why I abhor the Iloilo City Boundary Ordinance.

1.0 I am from Alimodian, a small hilly rural town 25 kilometers away from the city of Iloilo. For those who are not familiar with our town, Alimodian is located somewhere in the inner southern parts of Iloilo province, somewhere near Leon, San Miguel, and Maasin. It is where the Agony Hills is located – which is where those who don’t go to Balaan Bukid in Guimaras on Holy Fridays choose to go – as well as where many of the sand/mountains/rivers/earth quarries that build the malls and subdivisions in Iloilo (and God-knows-where-else) come from, but these are all beside the point.

When I was little, I was taught by my parents to say I’m from “Brgy. Binalud, Alimodian, Iloilo” should I get lost. My parents taught me early that knowing – memorizing to one’s heart – one’s home address is as important as knowing one’s name or one’s parents’ names. Later on, since we always moved to a different house, the address became “Cañonero Street, Alimodian, Iloilo”, and much later, “Maximo Street, Alimodian, Iloilo”, and still much later, “San Rufino Street, Alimodian, Iloilo”. Despite the changes in the streets, the pairing of Alimodian and Iloilo always remained. This led my mind to automatically, unconsciously pair Alimodian with Iloilo (i.e., Alimodian-comma-Iloilo), just like how I always (a little embarrassedly) automatically sing “D-E-F-G” when I hear the letters “A-B-C”.

So it was impressed upon me that Alimodian is part of Iloilo. The last time I checked, this thing was still true: Alimodian is still part of Iloilo – unless the president has, at 4:00 o’clock this morning, issued a decree ordering otherwise. But I don’t think she has done that. Damn if she ever will. And so it remains: Alimodian is part of Iloilo – a fact that isn’t so difficult to understand. So until today, whenever there are forms for me to fill up, I put in the address line “San Rufino Street” for my street address, “Alimodian” for my town, and “Iloilo” for my province. During introductions, I also identify myself as an Ilonggo, at the same time an Alimodiananon. But I know this idea surprises no one because, aside from Alimodian, 41 other towns are also part of Iloilo [1]. I’m sure the peoples from these towns also identify themselves like the way I do: “Miagaoanon, Ilonggo. Taga-Miagao, Iloilo”; “Barotacnon, Ilonggo. Taga-Barotac Nuevo, Iloilo”; “Igbarasnon, Ilonggo. Taga-Igbaras, Iloilo”; and so on, and so forth.

For the benefit of and as a reminder to Iloilo City politicians, I am including the list of towns (and city) that are part of Iloilo province. [1]

1. Ajuy, Iloilo
2. Alimodian, Iloilo
3. Anilao, Iloilo
4. Badiangan, Iloilo
5. Balasan, Iloilo
6. Banate, Iloilo
7. Barotac Nuevo, Iloilo
8. Barotac Viejo, Iloilo
9. Batad, Iloilo
10. Bingawan, Iloilo
11. Cabatuan, Iloilo
12. Calinog, Iloilo
13. Carles, Iloilo
14. Concepcion, Iloilo
15. Dingle, Iloilo
16. Dueñas, Iloilo
17. Dumangas, Iloilo
18. Estancia, Iloilo
19. Guimbal, Iloilo
20. Igbaras, Iloilo
21. Janiuay, Iloilo
22. Lambunao, Iloilo
23. Leganes, Iloilo
24. Lemery, Iloilo
25. Leon, Iloilo
26. Maasin, Iloilo
27. Miagao, Iloilo
28. Mina, Iloilo
29. New Lucena, Iloilo
30. Oton, Iloilo
31. Passi City, Iloilo
32. Pavia, Iloilo
33. Pototan, Iloilo
34. San Dionisio, Iloilo
35. San Enrique, Iloilo
36. San Joaquin, Iloilo
37. San Miguel, Iloilo
38. San Rafael, Iloilo
39. Santa Barbara, Iloilo
40. Sara, Iloilo
41. Tigbauan, Iloilo
42. Tubungan, Iloilo
43. Zarraga, Iloilo

But I am saying a lot of things that make me go astray the point, so let me just regain myself and go on to the next part.

2.0 I was 13 when I first studied here in Iloilo. I am saying here, referring to Iloilo City, because I am at the Human Resource Office of the University of Iloilo as I am writing this piece. I work here in the city. I am an Alimodiananon – a provincial boy – working in the city. There must be hundreds, thousands of us, peoples from the province, who travel from provincial towns to the city everyday. But as I was saying, and I will return to it now, I was 13 when I first studied here in the city.

That was 12 years ago.

I took my high school at the University of the Philippines High School in Iloilo. From 1995 to 1999, I traveled almost everyday from Alimodian to the city to, of course, take my studies. It was between those years during which the roads from our town to the city have all been concreted. From Alimodian, the jeep would pass by San Miguel, Pavia, and Mandurriao before it reached the city. Oh, yes, I know: Mandurriao is part of the city, and it already was when I was in high school. But you see, one still had to reach Jaro back then before he/she felt that he/she was already in the city. In 1995, all one could see along Diversion Road (now Benigno Aquino Highway) was nothing but grasses and marshes and some birds and a few carabaos grazing. Back then, the thing that would come to mind when “SM” was mentioned was this shoebox-shaped mall along Delgado Street in Iloilo City.

From 1995 to 1999, I remember leaving our house at 5:30 in the morning everyday. No wonder I never became late in any of my subjects (which started at 7:30 am) back then. I miss those never-late days.

Before all the roads have all been concreted, I remember how we, passengers, would never forget to bring our turban and panyo (I always bring one until now) – or try not to sleep in the jeep until we passed by Gorriceta Rice Mill – because of the clouds of dust (make that mushrooms of dust) that swirled about us as our jeep zoomed past the dirt-road just after San Miguel public market. These dirt roads were concreted in, I think, 1997. It gave relief to the people who traveled to and from the city everyday. It made the travel not only comfortable and safe and “powder-free” but also fast. Lesser time spent on the road meant (and still means) more time spent on more productive things. But do I really need to say this? So the community – the people – benefit from concrete (concretized, anyone?) roads.

So just who are these people who benefited (and continue to benefit) from the improvement of roads from provincial towns to the city? Everyone who use/d the road, of course. Stupid question. But I’d like to bring this stupidity further by stating who this “everyone” is: drivers and passengers. And “passengers” means students, workers, merchants, some doctors, some teachers, and, perhaps, some politicians in the making.

But it is not only the concretization of roads that help people cut the time they spend on the road. It’s not only dirt-roads that cause travel delays anyway, so let’s go and take that up in the next part.

3.0 Transportation is the movement of people and their goods from one location to another. [2] A nation’s or community’s economic success banks heavily on efficient methods of transportation as transportation provides people access to different resources. Transportation also promotes trade among peoples, communities, and nations thus allowing the exchange or accumulation of wealth and power.

Evidently, people today rely heavily on mechanical (i.e., non-human powered) forms of transportation to move from one place to another. Unless one dreams of setting a Guinness Record for longest distance traveled by foot (e.g., North to South Pole), one would most likely travel by mechanical means. A Revo, a Honda, a Ceres Liner, a 56 Liner, an RF Motors, or a Pasajero Sosyal always comes in – well – handy.

What are the requisites to an effective, efficient non-human powered transport system? I do not know. Well, not scientifically. But as far as my Ilonggo experience tells me, these are (what I consider) the requisites to an efficient (i.e., safe, time-saving, resource-saving, effort-saving, and comfortable) transportation system:

1. Wide, concrete roads;
2. Fast but safety-conscious drivers;
3. A proportionate road width to the number of cars; and
4. A functional traffic system.

These requisites to an efficient transportation system aren’t many, and many may accuse me of putting things to simplistically. So, in order to justify this list of five, let me explain each more fully.

3.1 Wide, concrete roads are requisite to an efficient transport system.

Wide, concrete roads always work to the advantage of road users. This is regardless of whether it is from the perspective of passengers, drivers, or politicians. I say always because I am not aware of any disadvantage wide, concrete roads can bring to either to humans, humanoids, human-driven jeepneys, politician-driven cars, or token-driven robot politicians. Even goats and chickens tied to the side of the jeep will certainly prefer concrete roads over dusty, rough, bumpy roads.

One road rule I know is: The lesser potholes there are on the road, the better it is for travelers. This, sometimes, is without thanks from people who enjoy good roads. But hey, who said that people do not know how to appreciate good roads from bad ones? It’s just that there are few good roads to be thankful for when you’re here in Iloilo.

Wide, concrete roads are time-saving. The finer the road, the faster the jeep or car can run. It’s not that I dig jeeps that run 220 km/hour. It’s just that the driver has lesser potholes to avoid (a futile attempt) every time he drives. And when Manong Driver has lesser potholes to avoid, the faster I get to my destination.

Wide, concrete roads are also safer than rough, pothole-filled roads. Or to be much more convincing, let me put it this way: rough roads are dangerous to your health. (Why hasn’t the DOH launched a campaign on that?) Why dangerous? Just try to pass by San Miguel poblacion and bring your asthmatic, arthritic grandmother with you. If she doesn’t soon join the angels from up high, then I’m sure she’ll complain of backaches and a bump on the head immediately after the ride.

Wide, concrete roads are resource and effort savers. It’s really the drivers who know the most obvious meaning of this. Wide concrete roads are resource savers because they can help the driver save some gasoline. The lesser the potholes there are on the road, the fewer the times the driver has to shift the engine to a lower gear. Ergo, savings.

Wide, concrete roads are also comfortable. They make you feel as if you’re just flying on the road, not as if you were falling off a cliff or, worse, as if you’re being whirled and twirled inside a giant washing machine.

3.2 Fast but safety-conscious drivers are requisite to an efficient transport system.

I hate it when drivers pick passengers as if they were looking for mites and mite eggs on the head of their wife. All the nooks and corners of streets and alleys mean nothing to this kind of drivers but a place for waiting for passengers and loading of passengers. And still more waiting for passengers, and more loading of passengers.

What I’m trying to say here is that by fast I mean time-saving. In mathematical equations, fast equals less time spent on the road. It’s not about the drivers vroom-vrooming their way past the blindest curves in the narrowest of streets in Iloilo. It’s about – shall I say it again? – time.

Many of our drivers here (and I am saying many, not all) ought to undergo a seminar on respect for passengers. Many drivers act as if they own their passengers’ time. They don’t care if they spend 30 minutes to get from Mandurriao Plaza to San Agustin even if this trip can actually be taken in 20 minutes. Or less.

It’s not that I don’t know how to sympathize with drivers. I know they’re just doing their job. But please, for goodness sake, the job is transportation provision, not some try-your-butts-on-fancy-seats racket. Some drivers seem to be happy about that: once passengers have climbed the jeep and given their fares, all’s well and done. Wait until others are in.

So let me state that again: Providing transportation to passengers is the driver’s job. Passengers pay to be transported efficiently (i.e., safely and timely) from point A to point B, not to bury their butts on the some wet cushioned jeepney chairs. And if the driver should reason his heart away, let us all answer him by saying that it is not only he who is working to get decent family meals. So are we, passengers. So play it fair.

3.3 A proportionate number of cars to the width of the road is requisite to an efficient transport system.

One of the things I learned by watching pirated DVDs is that it’s possible to put a skinned, hardboiled egg inside a bottle, the opening of which is smaller than the size of the egg [3]. But cars and jeeps and buses are NOT eggs that can squeeze their ways into bottleneck-shaped or as-narrow-as-Grade-1-rulers roads. There are way too many cars and vans and jeeps and trucks and police scooters and tricycle and trisikads that the streets in Iloilo can handle. And oh, I almost forgot the traffic auxiliary guys who, instead of facilitating the flow of traffic in the city, seem to be doing nothing really but appear as trophies. They’re there just to give the impression that a traffic system is in place in Iloilo. But fool me, guys. I know there’s none.

But why am I already talking about traffic system when this part is supposed to be on road width-to-car proportion? It’s because this proportion thingy is affected not only by rules of economics (i.e., the more Ilonggos can afford to buy cars, the more cars there will be in Iloilo City; the cheaper cars will be sold in markets, the more Ilonggos can afford to buy cars; etc.) but also by the traffic system. So why don’t I just proceed to discuss the meatiest part of this matter?

3.4 An operational traffic system is requisite to an efficient transport system.

Encarta gives fifteen definitions of the word system. For the purpose of our discussion, I will give only three.

System means a way of proceeding: a method or set of procedures for achieving something. It also means orderliness: the use or result of careful planning and organization. Lastly, specifically referring to transportation system, system means a transport network: a physical network of roads, railways, and other routes for travel, transport, or communication. [4]

Efficient, on the other hand, means acting or producing effectively with a minimum of waste, expense, or unnecessary effort. [5] Well, this word was actually defined earlier. But repetition always helps emphasizing some points. So there you go, everyone. That’s efficient for you.

Transportation was also defined somewhere earlier, so what remains to be defined is operational. But let’s skip that word for now. What better needs to be understood is that system, in the context of our discussion, refers to a transport system. Building upon the definitions already given, the transport system in Iloilo should then include the drivers, the passengers, conductors, the cars, the cabs, the trucks, buses, jeepneys, and the roads and the bridges and the economic areas here in Iloilo. These are the tangible things that are supposed to be part of the system. But this list isn’t complete. Let me surprise you a bit by adding the following items: traffic lights, traffic police, and the traffic auxiliary men. And overpasses, and flyovers, and road signage, and yellow lanes, and drainages and flood systems. Oh yes, everyone. These things do (or are supposed to) exist, and they’re (supposed to be) there to serve a purpose.

Anyway, to continue: The intangible parts, on the other hand, are the traffic rules and regulations, the traffic routes, and the driver and passenger discipline. Time, weather, and economy may also be included. But since these are quite difficult to explain, it will be best for me not to deal with them here.

Having enumerated the tangible and intangible parts, let me explain the things that I think need some explanation.

First of all is the supposed wholeness of this transport system: that leaving the tangible things to themselves will never lead to a system, just as that the intangible things would be useless if they have no tangible things to govern. So I could say that again as the whole is more than just the sum of its parts.

Second – still very much related to the first – is that each of the component parts must be carefully considered so as to weave an organized, seamless whole.

Think of these questions for example:

■ What is the current ratio of public utility vehicles (plying different routes in Iloilo) to the number of passengers?
■ How many units of jeepneys are there that take the Jaro CPU route? the Jaro Liko route? the Leganes route? the SM Mandurriao route? the La Paz route? etc., etc.
■ What is the ideal number of vehicles per route so that there are enough (not so much more) vehicles to transport passengers that need their service?
■ Should as many as 1,000 units of Jaro CPU jeepneys be allowed to ply the route all at the same time?
■ How many vehicles are there, both public and private, as well as within-city route and provincial jeepneys, that ply the city everyday?
■ Should provincial jeepneys be given only four passes?
■ Does the four-passes-only-for-provincial-jeepneys solve the traffic problem of Iloilo City?
■ Could limiting the number of within-city route public utility vehicles solve the traffic problem of Iloilo City?
■ Could limiting the number of private cars that ply the city solve the traffic problem of Iloilo City?
■ Should provincial passengers pay more to get to their city-destinations just in order that the traffic conditions in the city be better?

The more interesting questions which politicians and the people should also ask are:

■ What are the rules governing the use of passenger terminals?
■ Is it true that there are some terminals where jeepneys do not really park their vehicles but are still charged despite the ticket saying that they paid a “parking fee”?
■ Could some politicians be benefiting from these schemes?

Another set of questions I feel like sharing with you as well are the following:

■ Is there a schedule when traffic lights are functional?
■ Why do loading/unloading areas change almost every week?
■ Why don’t the police/traffic auxiliary men ticket private cars parked on yellow lanes?
■ Do traffic auxiliary men ticket public transportation drivers according to rules or according to whim?
■ Why don’t the traffic auxiliary men instruct the drivers to park their jeep properly before issuing them a ticket?
■ Why are some SUVs allowed to pick passengers at the Iloilo Airport when the LTFRB claims that the “No Car Plate, No Travel Policy” is in force?
■ Why are there still a lot of trucks and jeepneys that emit jet-black smoke despite the required emission testing prior to issuance of vehicle license?
■ Why do politicians continue putting up overpasses when several overpasses in the city are actually never used by people?
■ Are overpasses political ad boards?
■ Does Raul Gonzales own all the overpasses in Iloilo that all the overpasses bear his name?
■ Has the Gen. Luna flyover really lessened the traffic condition in the city as it was claimed to do?
■ Who gets to decide whether to put up flyovers and overpasses in the city?
■ Can “usefulness” of flyovers and overpasses be legislated?
■ Should merchants reconsider selling their products in the city and station their products in provincial towns instead so that it will be businesses in the city that should suffer next time?
■ Who is this city politician who owns units that ply the Jaro-Mandurriao route, which is probably what really prompted this politician to make an argument with the LTFRB?
■ Do police escorts lessen the feel of bumps on the road such that politicians in escorted cars do not see the need to repair bumpy roads?

I know I have raised more questions that I am able to answer. (I'm pretty sure these questions are a pain in the ass should they reach the politicians concerned). And the list is already very, very long, so that makes me guess that I should already stop. Anyway, I left the word operational undefined earlier, so let me take it up before I proceed to the next part. Operational, of course, is an easy word. It means something that’s in use, in operation, in order, working, active, in force, in effect, functioning, or operating [6]. What I just would like to emphasize is that even if politicians insist that there is a transport system in Iloilo, it is only because there are vehicles, drivers, and passengers on the roads around. In the absence of well-planned traffic rules and regulations, everything will fall into chaos – as it currently is. Oh, well.

There are traffic and road rules and regulations, alright. But who knows about them? Who implements them? And when? Are roads like offices where traffic rules only apply from 8:00 to 5:00, from Monday to Friday?

It is important that discipline is included as part of the transportation system: discipline of drivers, passengers, as well as law enforcers, and law formulators. Yes, this place needs discipline. And discipline can be taught to Ilonggos if traffic rules and regulations are right in place. But how do people acquire discipline if they are not made aware of rules and regulations?

Ignorance of the law, they say, is not an excuse. So more than just blaming drivers and passengers who are ignorant of the law, blame should be put on the politicians who keep rules and regulations to themselves until these can be used as part of their election propaganda, or until these can be used against their rivals.

4.0 So this leads me to ending what I began writing about here: my contempt of the Iloilo City Boundary Ordinance. I hate it with a passion because, as someone from the province, I feel like I'm an alien who is punished for not being a native of Iloilo City. Why do I have to suffer a lot more transportation problems than the natives of Iloilo City? I mean, why do we, peoples of the 43 towns of Iloilo have to suffer? (Am I crying racism or discrimination? For heaven's sake, maybe I am!)

I have more reasons, of course, and if you have gone reading this far, then you have already read them above, so please add some more when you make your comments.

May the lords of the Iloilo City Government give us a favor and re-evaluate the effectiveness of their ordinance.

Amen.

Blog Update

2009-03-28T22:34:00.006+08:00

If there is anyone who reads this blog, then this one's for that reader.

I'm writing again. No, not the poetry or the creativenonfictioney type of writing but the bloggy type. You know. The e-journal type. The e-diary type. You know.

But I'll try not to write crap, of course. There's too much of that in the world already, and I don't want to add to that.

Anyway, I'm back in the University of Iloilo. The past many months, I've been doing a lot of different rackets: teaching here, doing research there, doing tutorials here, etc., etc. In the first semester of AY 2008 I was substitute faculty at the Division of Humanities, UP Visayas in Miagao. I got good feedback from my students (they gave me a good rating in their evaluation, and I believe some of them miss me, hehe) but I was not rehired in the 2nd semester. It didn't feel that bad (meaning it was but only a tiny bit) since there were two of us faculty members who "suffered that fate". Well, I didn't really suffer. It's just the idiomatic expression. But the experience proved to me that there is truth to the saying that misery loves company. That's life.

Thankfully, I got a grant from the National Commission for Culture and the Arts for the project "Glosari sa Kinaray-a", and I was given Saturday classes at UI, so the 2nd semester wasn't that unlucky for me.

And now, I said I'm fully back in UI. Not anymore as a faculty member, but as a part of the Marketing Team. The University of Iloilo is not anymore owned by the Lopezes. It was bought by PHINMA Inc., and I have high hopes for the renaissance of the university. I'm saying "renaissance" because, quite unknown to many, University of Iloilo had silent times of being one of the top schools in Western Visayas. With us on board, and more especially with a management that listens to its stakeholders, we will do our best to make UI at par with the best schools in Iloilo. And who knows, maybe even the whole Philippines.

Declarations of a Healthy Adult Living in Relationships

2007-08-15T12:13:00.003+08:00

This post is a copy of my now defunct Friendster blog. Friendster blog just isn't good, so I migrated all my posts from there to here.

Sharing with you another Declaration from the readings given to us during the HAIN RGS in Bohol.

All factors in relationships pass through phases: intimacy, affection, sexual interest/energy, commitment to children and family, compatibility, self-disclosure.
Only at rare moments is the love in one partner the same as that in the other.
Priorities are continually changing for each partner. The integrity of the union may not always be a priority.
No truly loving relationship takes away – or can take away – even one of your basic human rights.
Intimate relationships survive best with constant permission for ever-changing ratios of closeness and distance.
What creates distance in your relationship you may be using unconsciously to get distance;
The best relationship includes space for you to pursue individual choices and to be compassionately attentive to any threat your partner may feel.
No one can control or change someone else nor is it necessary.
No one is loyal or truthful all the time.
No expectations are valid and not even agreements are reliable.
Your partner may not always be a trustworthy friend, consistent, or nurturing (and so are you).
You are ultimately alone and ultimately able to make it alone.
No relationship can create self-esteem. It can only support it.
There is no one person who will make you happy, keep you fascinated, or love you as yourself.
Most people in relationships seldom know what they really want, ask for what they really want, or show what they really feel.
Most people avoid or fear intimacy, consistent honesty, intense feelings, and uninhibited self-disclosure.
Beneath every serious complaint about your partner is something unowned in yourself.
Letting go of blame and the need to be right heals a relationship most efficaciously.
Jealousy and possessiveness, though not desirable, are normal human feelings.
“Goodbye” is rarely said clearly. Most people ease away wordlessly and avoid full confrontation.
No one is to blame when a relationship ends.
The end of one relationship will always require a space before another relationship can begin healthily.
It is normal for memories, regrets, the wish for revenge and a recurrent sense of loss to far, far outlast the end of a relationship.
One of your (or your partner’s) parents is a phantom, but active presence at the beginning, middle, or end of your relationship.
The powerful appeal of somehow new may tell you more about your neediness than about the charms of the other person.
Relationship is a spiritual path since it consists of a continual shedding of illusions.

Declarations of a Healthy Adulthood

2007-07-30T12:09:00.001+08:00

This post is a copy of my now defunct Friendster blog. Friendster blog just isn't good, so I migrated all my posts from there to here.

For few-months-rests and come-backs, I am sharing with you (whoever you are, lost reader) this Declaration which I find – uhm – good for reflection. Much as I want to tell you my source, the best I can tell you is that I took this from the kit HAIN gave us during the RGS workshop held at Bohol Plaza Resort & Restaurant last July 4-7. HAIN stands for Health Action Information Network and RGS for Religion, Gender, & Sexuality Workshop. This declaration was part of the readings prepared by Fr. Euginius Cañete.

I accept full responsibility for the shape my life has taken.
I need never fear for my own truth, powers, fantasies, wishes, thoughts, sexuality, dreams, or ghosts.
I trust that “darkness and upheaval” always precede an expansion of consciousness.
I let people go away or stay and am still okay.
I accept that I may never feel, I am receiving, or have received all the attention I seek.
I acknowledge that reality is not obligated to me; it remains unaffected by my wishes or rights.
One by one, I drop every expectation of people and things.
I reconcile myself to the limits on others’ giving to me and on my giving to them.
Until I see another’s behavior with compassion, I have not understood it.
I let go of blame, regret, vengeance, and the infantile desire to punish those who hurt or reject me.
When change and growth scare me, I still choose them. I may act with fear, but never because of it.
I am still safe when I cease following the rules my parents (or others) set for me.
I cherish my own integrity and do not use it as a yardstick for anyone else’s behavior.
I am free to have and entertain any thought. I do not have the right to whatever I want. I respect the limits of freedom and still act freely.
I overcome the urge to retreat on the brink of discovery.
No one can and needs to bail me out. I am not entitled to be taken care of by anyone or anything.
I give without demanding appreciation though I may always ask for it.
I reject whining and complaining as baseless distractions from direct action on or withdrawal from unacceptable situations.
I let go of control without losing control.
Choices and perceptions in my life are flexible, nor rigid or absolute.
If people knew me as I really am, they would love me for being human like them.
I drop poses and let my every word and deed reveal what I am really like.
Changes and transitions are more graceful as I cooperate with them.
Every human power is accessible to me.
I live by personal standards and at the same time – self forgiveness – I make allowances for my occasional lapses.
I grant myself a margin of error in my work and relationships. I release myself from the pain of having to be right or competent all the time.
I accept that it is normal to feel that I do not always measure up.
I am ultimately adequate to meet any challenge that comes to me.
My self-acceptance is not complacency since it represents an enormous change.
I am happy as I do what I love and love what is.
Wholehearted engagement with the circumstances releases my irrepressible liveliness.
I live unconditionally and set same conditions on my self-giving.

My Life in This Planet Revolving Around the Sun Moving Across Endless Space

2007-07-30T12:08:00.001+08:00

This post is a copy of my now defunct Friendster blog. Friendster blog just isn't good, so I migrated all my posts from there to here.

So my last post was on ~~(insert date of last post here)~~ May 17, 2007. That’s ~~(insert number of months)~~ 2 months and (insert number of days) 13 days ago. What have I done during all that time? Briefly, it’s all this ~~(in no particular order)~~:

Renewed my driver’s license that expired last year;
Went on trips to Vigan and Taal with my girlfriend and others. (The trip to Vigan was planned; the trip to Taal was not. Thanks to Fiona and her brother and to Ryan and Marlon);
Attended the CLARC-CAN Conference (Country-Level Action on the HIV/AIDS Report Card: Champions Against AIDS Neglect) at the Asian Institute of Management on June 5-7;
Attended the FPOP National Youth Leaders Assembly, FPOP National Council and General Membership Meetings on June 7, June 8-10, & June 11 respectively.
Attended the HAIN RGS Workshop in Bohol on July 4-7.
Had my research data statistically analyzed by different statisticians: Dr. Rogelio Borro of the University of Iloilo and Mr. Edwin Mosura of Iloilo National High School.
Went absent from my work at least twice a month either for consulting with my thesis adviser or for attending a workshop or a meeting;
Drank a few bottles of beer during: a) the Bohol RGS Workshop with Cristabel Parcon, Juvy Janeo, both of University of the Philippines in the Visayas, and Mr. Vicente “Bugoy” Molejona of the Commission on Population Region (POPCOM) VI, and b) after the Eagle Cross meeting at DENR with Dr. Borro, Dr. de Guzman of Iloilo Doctor’s College, and Atty. Misajon of DENR;
Must have drank at least (insert value here) gallons of water;
Must have defecated at least (insert value here) times;
Must have peed at least (insert value here) times;
Must have watched TV for at least (insert value here) hours; and
Must have talked on the phone with my girlfriend for about (insert value here) hours.

The list is in no way complete. But that’s about it for now. I welcome myself back to my blog.

What we know about mother and father

2007-05-09T12:04:00.000+08:00

This post is a copy of my now defunct Friendster blog. Friendster blog just isn't good, so I migrated all my posts from there to here.

Father is five years younger than mother. She was his teacher in his senior year in high school. How they became lovers and how they got married despite mother’s family, we do not know. What we know is that father was somewhere in a boarding house in Delgado — drawing lines, drafting plans, building houses on his desk for his final exams — when I was born, one year and six months after my brother. Father’s mother, Mother tells, pretended not to know. Mother had to take her own pregnant self to the hospital.

Father stopped schooling after my sister was born. Why? we do not know. What we know is that he went to Saudi, sent us some money and voice-tapes telling us of the desert heat and singing to us about loneliness, and asked us — we three children — what gifts we want for Christmas.

Several years again would pass, and several events again would happen: grandfather dies and father doesn’t get the part of the land grandfather promised him; father comes home one night with his eyes swollen; grandmother ceases to talk with mother; father leaves to work for Taiwan; father’s brothers ask mother for payments — the reason for which we didn’t know either —, and we realize the vastness of the universe of our unknown. So we started asking mother. But she would answer us “Ay, Nonoy! Your father . . . ” and she would tell us how hard life has been for us, how hard life still is for us, and how father works so hard for us, Ay! your hard-working father! and how hard she works for us, too, and that we ought to understand, that we will have to understand, and that someday — someday — we will understand, and that we ought not to ask so many questions because it is a burden to be thinking about answers to questions when we ought to be earning money for the bills and your schooling and our food.

So we shut our little mouths up and get contented. So this is all we know about mother and father.

Ang Relo nga Guba

2007-05-09T12:01:00.001+08:00

This post is a copy of my now defunct Friendster blog. Friendster blog just isn't good, so I migrated all my posts from there to here.

Last night, I browsed through my old CDs and discovered that I have this one short story. It’s the only short story, out of many drafts I wrote, that I was able to finish… and forget about. It’s written in Kinaray-a. So good luck to those who don’t understand my mother tongue.

i

Dasig ang akon tikang paadto sa lugar nga ginhambal kanakon ni Anne. Late ron ako. Mga twenty minutes. Bwisit nga relo. Kung san-o mo gani kinahanglan, amo pa kag magbisyo. Waay ko gid matalupangdan, sagi ko man ka suksok-suksok. Daw gaandar pa man kaina. Pay kang paglantaw ko liwat, ang oras waay ron gali nagapanaw. Sa pagkamatuod, pagkapamangkot ko sa tupad ko, rayu ron gali ang ginpalagyo kang oras kanakon. Late ron ako.

ii

Waay gid ako makapanumdom dayun nga si Anne gali to ang ginhambal kanakon kaina ni Tita Diding sa pihak balay nga nagapangita kanakon sa telepono. Imaw man kami kahapon sa may eskwelahan. Dungan man kami sa sarakyan nag-uli. Kalinong lang kana sa bilog nga oras kang amon pagbiyahe halin sa Miagao. Nagpirong-pirong don lang ako para daw bukon man ti kasaw-a nga kahipos kanamon, nga waay kami ga-istorya. Nasaw-ahan ako nga linung kung ga-imaway kami.

Ginmukra ko lang liwat ang mata ko kang nagpundo ron ang jeep sa tubang ka John B. Gintandog ni Anne ang alima ko nga daw sa mahinay nga ginpusga kag dayun tana nagpana-og. Pag-abot sa pihak nga kanto, nagpanaog ron man ako kag dayun man nag-uli.

iii

Mahinay ko nga ginduot sa talinga ko ang handset kang telepono kag anay ako nga nagpamati antes ako maghambal.

“Sin-o dya?”

“Ay, Ands, si Anne ni.” Mahinay ang limug na sa pihak nga linya.

“Ay Anne, ikaw gali.” Nabatian ko ang akon kaugalingon, sa pagtikab kang akon baba para magsabat pa gid liwat, nga daw sa gulpi lang may nagtuhaw nga magamay nga yuhum. “Taymingan nga nanawag kaw haw?”

Bukon man ti malawig ang istoryahanay namon ni Anne sa telepono. Una nagpamangkot tana kanakon kang urubrahon namon sa Econ 150, dayun kung may nabilin pa ako nga readings sa Psych 155, dayun na pamangkot pa gid kung ano ang gaguwa sa sine. Waay ako kamaan. Ansa haw, hambal ko. Hambal na, kit-anay kami kuno tulad nga hapon sa may Mama Tsina. Waay ron ako liwat nagpamangkot kung ansa.

iv

Si Anne. Classmates kami halin kang first year. Urihi don lang man kadya kag nag-imaway kami gid. Kadya lang nga second year, kang mga tunga-tunga kang second sem. Nangin group mates kami one time sa project namon kay Sir Garcia. Halin kato, pirme ron kami naga-imaway sa grupo. Mag-uru-istorya kami gani, sabat-pamangkot lang parti sa Econ 101. Halin kato, kay kung mag-ubra kami gani kang projects, gadururungan kami mag-igma. Nabuyo kami. Pirme run kami nagadungan mag-igma. Kang urihi, gin-abay don lang namon pati pamahaw. Pati Hum II kag Comm III ginadara ron namon sa istoryahanay. Halin kato, pirme ron kami gadungan mag-uli. Kang urihi, ginmangkot ko tana kung san-o birthday na. Ginsabat na ang pamangkot ko kang pamangkot man: san-o imu birthday haw?

v

Kang urihi nga dya may ginsugid kanakon si Anne. Si Renan kuno, classmate namon kang last year sa Psych, nagatext-text kana. Kataraka kuno gani, kay grabe gid manabadt. Ang di-a nga daw nagapurupabatyag kuno kana bala haw, nga daw waay man. Amu ria nga nainit tana: indi tana kamaan kung ano gid. Pay hus, hambal na, nahadluk lang ri-a si Renan nga maghambal gid. Kay kung hambalon na ron gani —– hus! —– waay man tana ti may mabuol!

Manugsembreak ron to kang ginsugidan na ako. Pagkit-anay namon liwat pagbukas kang second sem, sanag ang badlak kang ana nga mata nga indi maghalin ang turok sa sari na man ka pindot nga cell phone na. Hambal ko, ti kumusta ron kaw Anne. Ginsabat na ako kang paglapad pa gid kang malapad na ron ngadaan nga yuhum. Tanda ron kuno.

vi

Tatlo ka adlaw halin tulad mangin eksakto nga tatlo ron ka bulan nga si Anne kag si Renan. Halin kato kang nangin tanda, nag-amat-amat laka don lang ang amon pag-imaway mag-igma. Daw nagsakit man ang buot ko, pay hambal ko daw waay man ako ti rason. Kung sa san-o lang kami idyan madungan igma, ti dungan eh. Kag kada Biyernes gadungan man angud kami mag-uli.

vii

Kang last week lang, Lunes, bag-o lang natapos ang klase ko kay Sir Albarran, nakita ko tana sa may mga bangko sa sagwa kang cafeteria, nagaturok sa may salug kag nagakupo sa ana mga libro nga daw may ginapanumdom. Pagpundo ko sa tubang na, ginturok na ako ti lawig kag dayun na hambal, dungan lang kami kuno igma. Baw a, paminsar ko lang, ano dya, gabawi man kay daw mabatyagan na man nga daw madugsan ron ako?

Maan lang. Siguro, hambal ko, kay pagkasunod nga adlaw ginhulat na man angud ako sa sagwa kang cafeteria para madungan kami igma.

viii

Miyerkules, Huwebes.

Pagka Biyernes, kahapon, ginpamangkot ko tana sa tunga kang ana malawig ang mga lak-ang nga pagtimo kang ana pagkaon: “Anne,” ginturok ko tana pagkatapos ko tungtong kang bag-o ko lang gin-imnan nga baso. Gintaw-an ko man gawa ti gamay nga pagkalangu-lango ang tono kang pamangkot ko. “Daw . . . pirme ron man ta liwat gadungan igma haw? May . . .”

“Wala Ands a,” gintungtong na sa kilid kang ana nga pinggan ang waay na madayun timo nga kutsara kang kan-un kag ginduso na sa tunga kang lamesa ang ana nga pinggan. “May research daan subong sanday Renan. Ga-field sila gani. Sa may Rehab Center kuno. Ti . . .”

“Ah.”

“Huo.” Sagi na ka hampangan ang ana kutsara.

“Mmm.” Ginhakwat ko ang akun baso kag nag-inum. Sa pagtulon ko kang tubig, batiun ang pagpanaug kang tubig sa akun tutunlan.

“Kag isa pa,” ginbutong na liwat ang pinggan na kag gintimo ang nabilin nga kan-on. Pagkatapos, nagtao tana kang isa ka gamay pay matam-is gid nga yuhum. “Gusto ko man makabawi e. Indi man ko siguro manhid no,” ginbu-ol na ang baso ko kag nag-inom ti gamay, “nga indi ko mabal-an nga damu na ko utang sa imo nga pagdungan sa panyaga.”

Nabatyagan ko ang paghurma kang isa man ka yuhum sa kilid kang bibig ko.

ix

Raku pa gid ang ginpang-istoryahan namon ni Anne, ang ginpang-istorya ni Anne kanakon. Ang sa mga adlaw nga waay kami nagdungan mag-igma, gin-ubos na panugid kahapon ang kung ano ang mga daad ginpangsugid na ron. Ubos-ubos, tingub-tingob. Nagabadlak gid ang mga mata na ka sagi istorya —– parti sa bakasyon na kang sem break (kahapon ko lang nadumduman nga waay pa gid gali kami kaistoryahanay ti mayad sem nga dya, kahapon pa lang), ang mga dates nanda ni Renan, ang mga projects na, kag iban pa gid. Nahidlaw man tana kuno kanakon, kag nagyuhum lang ako. Burbay nagbalik ruman ang istorya na parti sa date nanda ni Renan.

Pagkaburbay, daw sa ginhapo man tana kuno ka sagi wakal. Nagkadlaw ako. Kag nagkinadlaw lang kami darwa. Mahapo man gali ang magsagi gid ka kadlaw, hambal ko. Nagtangu-tango lang tana kang ana nga ulo kag magyuhum-yuhum.

Hambal ko halin sa waay lang, “Haha, talagsa lang gid man gali mag-abot nga sadya-sadya lang no? Di-a bala nga waay nyo man ginplanuhan pay, basta —– sadya lang kamu.”

“Talagsa lang gid man.”

Ginsabat ko tana kang pamangkot, “San-o ruman dya ayhan maliwat?”

Nagyuhum lang tana liwat. Ginturok ko lang ang mga mata na nga daw nagabadlak gid, kag naghipus lang man. Gintumud ko ang lima ko sa lamesa, nagpanampu-ay, kag nagbalos sa yuhum na. Nagyuhum-yuhum lang kami darwa.

Malawig ang amun nga pag-istoryahanay: istorya nga may wakal, kag istorya man nga yuhum-yuhum lang. Pagkahapon, nakapoy gid tana siguro, natingala man ako gani, nga waay ron, waay gid kami nakaistoryahanay liwat sa sarakyan.

x

Nagasamu-samu ang akon paminsaron sige ang panaw ko halin sa Atrium paadto sa may Mama Tsina. Pagbukas ko kang salaming nga pwertahan, nakit-an ko dayun ang orasan sa babaw kang dinding nga buta kang mga espeho sa likod kang cashier. Forty-five minutes ron ako nga late! Baw, bwisit gid nga relo.

Nagsulod ako sa may pihak nga punta kang Mama Tsina kag nakita ko si Anne nga nagapungko patalikod sa may aragyan. Ginparapitan ko tana.

Waay tana kabatyag nga may nagparapit ako sa likod na. Nagpanumdom ako nga kuyuson ko tana, kag naintindihan ako kang akon nga alima: gintabunan ko ang mga mata na. Pay ako pa ang nakuyus. Pagkaduot nga pagkaduot kang alima ko sa mata na, nabatyagan ko nga daw basa haw: daw basa, kang luha.

xi

“Ands? —–,” ang limug ni Anne naghambal kanakon nga bul-on ko ron ang alima ko sa mata na.

“Anne? —– ”

“Ands —–,” naghinay ang limug ni Anne. “Si Renan . . .” ang pagmitlang na kang mga tinaga daw sa pamangkot ang tono, ukong daw sa may isugid man tana pay waay tana magpadayon, kag gin-utod na sa pagtulon na kang ana nga laway. Daw sa tunga-tunga kang gusto na mitlangon, pay ginapunggan na ipabati.

Una, waay ko maintindihan.

Nagduko tana kag gintungtong ang alima na sa dalum kang ana nga dughan kag ginhimo na nga inumol.

xii

“Anne . . .”

Nagpungko ako sa may tupad nga purungkuan kag ginturok ko si Anne sa ana nga mata. Ang sanag kang hapon nga nagasulod sa mga salaming kang Mama Tsina, nagpasanag pa gid kang badlak kang ana nga mga mata. Nagaduko tana pay waay nagbutig kanakon ang mga ginasanagan nga basa nga inagyan kang ana nga mga luha. Sa pihak na nga alima ang ana nga bug-at ron nga panyo.

“Anne,” hambal ko.

Nagpirong si Anne kag nagduko pa gid. Ginpili ko lang anay nga maghipus. Waay ako kamaan kung ano ang ubrahon ko, waay ako kamaan kung ano ang ipamangkot ko kana, kung mahambal gid man ako, ukong kung mamangkot gid man bala ako. Ukong, siguro, basi manugid man lang tana kanakon. Nagsandig ako sa purungkuan ko kag naglantaw sa sagwa.

Sa sagwa, ang mga tawo sige lang ka labay-labay, ang mga jeep sige lang ka binurhot; waay tanda kamaan, waay tanda ti labot, kung ano ang gina-ubra namon sa sulod. Halin sa Villa nga jeep, may nagpanaog nga darwa ka bayi. Isa ka nanay kag isa ka bata. Burbay, may naglumpat pa gid nga isa ka bata nga laki. Gindapit tana kang darwa ka mga bayi, kag nagtabok tanda sa may dalan. Nagsulod tanda sa may St. Paul’s.

Amu pa lang kag nadiparahan ko ang St. Paul’s. Ang bakod nga ospital sa may tabuk, raku ang nagaginuwa nga mga tawo, mga sarakyan nga private, kag mga taxi. Nasumalang kang darwa ka mga babayi nga may ginadapit nga bata nga laki ang isa ka taxi. Halin sa Mama Tsina, nakita ko pa nga sa sulod kang amo nga taxi may isa ka bayi nga gasakay nga daw may ginakungkong sa atubang na nga daw pinutos sa lampin. A, hambal ko lang sa kaugalingon ko, basi bag-o lang kabata.

Burbay, nabati-an ko ang dalum nga paginhawa ni Anne. Pagbalikid ko, tadlung ron ang pungko na kag nagapamahid ron tana kang panyo sa mata na. Ginpabay-an ko lang anay. Mabatyagan ko nga daw sa gabuylo tana. Madalum ang ana nga mga ginhawa.

xiii

Naghulat lang ako. Naghulat.

Nagturok ako liwat sa may sagwa kag liwat ko man nga nakita ang St. Paul’s. Pagkabalikid ko kay Anne, nakit-an na kung diin ako bag-o lang nagturok. Kag ginpalagyo na ang mata na kanakon kag nagturok man sa St. Paul’s.

Malawig ang turok na sa St. Paul’s. Naghulat lang gid ako liwat. Naghulat. Nagturok ako sa sagwa kag nakita ko liwat ang St. Paul’s. Pagbalikid ko kay Anne, nakita ko ang mga mata na. Ang sanag nga nagahalin sa sagwa, nagadugang sa badlak kang ana mga mata. Nagabadlak ang mata ni Anne. Nakit-an ko kung paano amat-amat nga nagsampok ang kiray na, kung paano daw may ginapunggan nga bartyagon nga amat-amat nga nagkurit sa kilid kang bibig na, kung paano amat-amat, amat-amat, daw nagkudog-kudog kag nahulog ang abaga na. Amat-amat, mabati-an ko ron ang hibi ni Anne. Halin sa hinay, amat-amat nagatunog. Pay waay gahalin ang turok na sa St. Paul’s. Waay nagahalin ang turok ni Anne sa St. Paul’s.

Ginkaptan ko si Anne sa ana nga alima, kag sa alima ko, nagturo ang ana nga luha.

Bilbliography - Book II

2007-04-26T11:59:00.000+08:00

This post is a copy of my now defunct Friendster blog. Friendster blog just isn't good, so I migrated all my posts from there to here.

The Persistence of Memory.

Memory is both a gift and a curse.

Memory as a

gift

We are soulless without memory.

We became who we are because of the things that happened to us; I became who I am because of these things that happened to me: mother having her picture taken while pregnant of me despite local superstition; falling from a flight of stairs when I was two; being hit by our Filipino teacher with a lesson plan on the head for something that I didn’t do when I was in Grade 6; being slapped on the face after escaping review sessions for the NEAT exams also when I was in Grade 6; shitting on my pants while in a mall because of diarrhea during special summer classes before my first year; being sent outside the classroom for answering and offending our Reading teacher on her birthday in my first year high school; being labeled as KSP in my second year high school; learning how to write about my frustrations in our English class also in my second year; learning how to distinguish true friends from users; insulting a teacher about her looks in front of the class; knowing how to "properly" look at our classmates’ boobs without getting caught; knowing how to appreciate some our classmates’ beauty despite the size and color of their boobs; knowing how to solve identities in our Mathematics class in 4th year; failing in the UPCAT; graduating undecided of what course to take in college; taking up Literature; shifting to Broadcast Communication in my second year; falling in love for the first time in that same year; my heart breaking for the first time also in the same year; attempting to forget in the same year; trying to fell in love again after more than 2 years. And my heart mending for the first time.

Memory

as a curse.

We cannot choose to remember. But neither can we choose to forget. We only either remember or forget. And that is almost everything. But whether we with our mind’s fingers hold on to or let go of the memory-strands of stories that unwind in our life, it is immaterial to the fact that the stories happened.

We are a spool of memories and moments, forgotten and remembered.

(To be continued…)

Stalking 101

2007-04-24T11:58:00.000+08:00

This post is a copy of my now defunct Friendster blog. Friendster blog just isn't good, so I migrated all my posts from there to here.

I am a stalker.

And I believe that only intelligent people have the ability to stalk.

So I must be (even if only for a bit) intelligent.

So today, why must I talk about stalkers when the Philippines is melting under the sun while politicians, unmindful of the heat, continue singing their songs and flapping their wings into the beat of the election dance?

It’s because I don’t care. And so shouldn’t you.

But doesn’t it give me creeps to command you not to care while I silently maneuver you into caring about me — ehem — by making you read my blog? Probably yes. (Enter scary movie stinger ala The Ring) But why should it when you don’t care? And if you did or didn’t care, should I care?

But enough of the questions that could not be satisfactorily answered. Let me refresh you about my proposition so that we already can get into the meat of this.

I am a stalker. The height of my stalking career came in 2000, when I first fell in love, and then in 2004, when I had one of my biggest crushes.

I fell in love with a beautiful college freshman when I was in my second year. It started in June and ended in October. So it must have been a one-semester love affair — if it was a love affair. (You see, I still have this fear of calling it that. My idea of any relationship even then required mutuality, even in calling the relationship a relationship.) I made my way to being close with her by, first, stalking her. I "stole" her number from her classmate’s cellphone when someone from the dorm asked me to hand the cellphone to its owner. And the rest is history.

But my stalking powers didn’t stop there. Because even after the October end-of-the-affair part of our whatever-it-was-called affair, I actually continued stalking her. Needless to say (and redundant if mentioned but I still nevertheless am mentioning), I stalked her without her knowing.

(To be continued…)

In the meantime, I am pasting you a link to one of the best personal webpages I have seen. I really like it for its simplicity and forwardness. I will paste more of my favorite webpages (sans erotica et porno pages) next time.

CLICK HERE: Hello Stranger

Bibliography - Book I

2007-04-23T11:52:00.001+08:00

This post is a copy of my now defunct Friendster blog. Friendster blog just isn't good, so I migrated all my posts from there to here.

About a Boy.

Not too long ago, I was a boy who didn’t care about the things I did, who didn’t care about what was going to happen to me or to others because of what I did or didn’t do. I still wasn’t that apathetic or antisocial or pachydermic at that time. Neither was I stupid. I just didn’t know what to do with the things I had or didn’t have. Being only 12, I had nothing much to do, so I had all the time in the world to waste away my time. I was myopic. I couldn’t see the water in my eye called "possibility."

I entered UP High School in Iloilo in 1995. A restless boy who came from a rural town 25 kilometers away from the city, I was thrilled about and proud of the idea of schooling in UP. More especially of schooling in the city.

From our town, Alimodian, not many parents could afford to send their child to a city school and not many could pass the entrance exam test in UP. So I had reason to be proud. And so I
was proud.

When I think of all the things that happened to me from way back the time I could remember, I try to ponder all the possibilities — the what-could-have-beens, the what-ifs — that now are in fact not.

Like Milan Kundera in The Unbearable Lightness of Being (or probably it is because of that book I realized this), I arrive at an inevitable conclusion: that the possibilities that didn’t happen will forever remain as possibilities in the past; that they will never ever anymore turn into reality since the time given for them to turn into reality has lapsed. And so they are frozen in time. Like the magnificence of the frozen mammoth in Siberia, the possibility of the frozen possibilities is an illusion.

How can something frozen and stone dead be magnificent? And how can something that’s already past still be possible? Possibility really is a thing of the future. So once lightning strikes a certain point, the factuality of that point having been hit becomes established. The other possible lightning hit points become fiction.

The day I received the letter confirming my having passed the UP High School Entrance Exam was the night my father slapped me on the face. Of all the memories that could be remembered or forgotten, this one memory is still etched on my brain. This one memory which I didn’t chose to remember nor even choose to forget.

Can anyone choose his or her memory?