• Liturgical Press
  • Holy Week at Home is a resource for individual and family prayer. While not intended to replace Holy Week liturgies, these prayers allow for ritual experiences when public celebration of liturgy might not be possible.
  • Celebrating the Eucharist Missalette for Holy Week
  • Misal del Pueblo English/Spanish Bilingual Missalette for Holy Week
  • La Semana Santa en Casa es un recurso para la oración individual y familiar. Aunque no pretende reemplazar las liturgias de la Semana Santa, estas oraciones permiten experiencias de ceremonias cuando la celebración publica de la liturgia podría no ser posible.
• Be a Heart Design
  • A collaboration by a talented Catholic artist and her spiritual director to create “something that people could easily do – alone, with roommates, as a couple, with children, or connecting online with others.”
  • The pdf download is beautiful, and contains daily prayers, reflection questions, and suggestions for action for each day of Holy Week
• Archdiocese of Milwaukee
  • A great at-home guide for families and individuals in both English and Spanish.
• Blessed Is She
  • General tips for entering into the holiness of the week
  • Simple rituals and reflections for each day of the Triduum and Easter
  • Specific ideas for families
• Carrots for Michaelmas
  • A light-hearted set of ideas for families from a prominent Catholic blogger
• Building Faith
  • Very creative set of activities to mark the days of Triduum, from stripping the “altar” (clearing and cleaning your dining room table) to decorating “Paschal candles”

As a ministry specialist with The Evangelical Catholic, I serve ministries remotely by coaching and training an on-the-ground Point Person who in turn trains people in that community to be disciple-makers. Coaching, training, mentoring, and praying—all online.

I never thought my skill set of ministering remotely would be something I’d one day have to coach every Point Person I work with to do. And yet here we are.

By now this method of ministering and mentoring comes more easily to me, but as I’ve been reflecting on what our Point People need to know, I’ve had visceral memories of my first couple months on the job. Setting up dozens of calls each week, working with competing schedules, troubleshooting various technology challenges, learning on the spot how to adjust in-person content to online. The list goes on.

I made a lot of mistakes (and you will too), but I’m hoping these four principles (game-changers for me!) will help you manage the learning curve.

1. Prep for each meeting and keep notes.

You’ll feel more confident and make the best use of everyone’s time if you take a few moments to prepare beforehand. There’s nothing like having to search through your notes or the guide you’re using to make you feel flustered and inattentive. Keep notes so you can pray for the person with more specificity, and so that you can follow up with what they shared during your next meeting.

Consider the following tips for preparing:

• Email and/or text the person you’re meeting with a reminder of what time, what video service to meet you on (link if necessary), and what to bring.
• Have your Bible physically with you on the call to model.
• If you’re sharing images or texts to read together, have them pulled up as separate tabs so you’re ready to share your screen with them.

2. Leave a buffer of 30 minutes between each call.

In my first few months ministering remotely, there were days I’d cram 7 calls into 8 hours. I don’t recommend it! Not only did I have less of myself left to give to end–of–the–day appointments, but I was late to every call except the first one. My lack of planning did not convey my love and care. Out of respect for those you’re meeting with, build in a buffer so you’re not cutting people off early or showing up late.

While this is good practice for anyone with multiple meetings in a day, it is essential for virtual calls. Consider these factors:

• You need time to break, to write call notes, and to collect yourself. 
• Calls will go long. Pastoral care is unpredictable and may require more time than you budgeted. 
• Imagine if one call were to go late, and the next person joins your call while you’re in the middle of a deep prayer with someone else! (Been there! Sigh…)

3. If this feels like hard work, it is. 

Sometimes the struggle and exhaustion of an activity indicates that it’s going wrong. But if you’re making yourself available to your leaders, being vulnerable, praying with and for them, listening with care to their issues and anxieties . . . it should be exhausting!

Even in person, multiple one-on-ones in a day can be draining. Mentorship takes active facilitation of the conversation to drive it deeper. Motivating change in others is not a spectator sport. 

The added layer of technology costs you even more. Extended screen time can strain the eyes and headphones the ears. Online ministry sometimes requires you to amplify your body language and state more of your communication verbally so that the subtle clues of in-person empathy are not lost in the cloud.  

These costs make it even more vital to build in breaks so you can get up, stretch, drink some water, give your eyes a break. 

Despite the limitations of online ministry, the blessing of human connection, spiritual support, and prayer together make it thoroughly worth the cost! Because . . .

4. It WORKS.

They asked one another, “Were not our hearts burning within us as he spoke with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?” Luke 24:32

Just as the disciples on the road were caught off guard by the words spoken to them by this stranger (who they would later come to realize was Jesus), I find the same kind of awe shared between myself and whoever I’m walking with in discipleship online. 

We pray together; we study and dig in; we laugh and cry; and our hearts burn within us at what Jesus accomplishes as we walk this road together, with Jesus. After a while, we don’t even notice the computer or the space between us. 

• We love the three objectives (#2-4 below) for leader meetings that prioritize care for leaders and their networks:

• The leader meeting Full Guide pdf outlines a network mapping activity where students
  1. Identify people in their network
  2. Brainstorm how to connect
  3. Make a plan for action
• The leader meeting webinar demonstrates the use of Zoom break-out rooms for a meeting with many leaders.
• The webinar on small groups shows you how to use Zoom’s annotation tools to mark up a Scripture passage live with small group members.
  • InterVarsity’s Inductive method of Scripture discussion is similar to the “mark-up method” featured in our REACH MORE™ Small Group Training.

• In various places throughout their online ministry resources, InterVarsity wisely coaches leaders to be more directive than normal when facilitating a leader meeting, small group, or group prayer over Zoom.
  • Since you can’t “go around the circle” to pray, you might need to call on people directly.
  • Having specific questions that everyone can answer and calling on people to share may help drive conversation further. Of course, people are always free to say “pass.”

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The other day I got an eight-word text from a priest I know named Fr. Patrick. I would consider Fr. Patrick a friendly acquaintance—not a close friend. The last time we communicated was nearly two years ago. His text read:

“Prayers for you Andre, in this difficult time.”

To borrow a famous phrase from John Wesley, “I felt my heart strangely warmed.” Why?

1. Because Fr. Patrick had thought about and prayed for me, which he didn’t need to do. It was unexpected—above and beyond the call of duty.
2. I felt the presence of the Church—in whom friendly acquaintances, and even strangers, are family in the Lord. I felt the truth of St. Paul’s words describing the mystical body of Christ: “when one part [of the body] suffers, all the parts suffer with it,” (1 Cor 12:26).

A personal eight-word note from one’s pastor at this concerning time could make a huge positive difference.

People’s future opinion of their pastor, their parish, the universal Church, and yes, even God may depend on whether or not we were there for them in a time of need.

A brief personal message to individual parishioners is symbolic. Pastors, you represent the parish, the universal Church, and God to your people. Your outreach signals that they are known and cared for by all of the above.

Now is your moment to make a lasting impression as pastor, as shepherd, as father. And all it will take is about one minute per person. Do it for as many as you can.

I know the challenges before you at this time go far beyond this little gesture I’m proposing. You face pressure, vital tasks, and challenging decisions. You and your staff are communicating to the parish as a whole through general letters, emails, website updates, and YouTube videos. You’re streaming your Masses or homilies into people’s homes. You’re telling them “I love you” and “I’m praying for you.”

They need these messages too. But the “you” in these public messages is the communal “you.” I want you to take the time to use the individual “you” as well.

No one is expecting that.

So just start reaching out—one person at a time.

Start calling, emailing, texting, or writing particular members of your parish. This is easier than you think. Yes, it will take valuable time, but it’s time well-spent.

Some practical suggestions:

• Get started: Pray for and reach out to one person, right now, just to get a start.
• Keep going: Do an additional ten communications today and then stop. It won’t take very long.
• Make it a habit: Use one hour a day to keep chipping away at various lists.
• Progress matters: Maybe you’ll get to everyone; maybe you won’t even come close. Either way, you’ll reach some.
• Use lists to jog your memory: Start with anyone you’re comfortable texting, whose number you have in your phone contacts. Then switch to emails or phone calls to committee members, catechists and leaders of various kinds. Then go to the list of school families if you have a school. Then move to whomever is registered at the parish. For these bigger lists, maybe you just send notes to people you recognize, or maybe you send them to everyone. Do whatever you’re most comfortable with.
• Keep it short: If you call, most people won’t answer the phone, which is fine; just leave a message. If you do get someone live, tell them you only have a brief minute but you’re just calling to tell them you’re praying for them at this time.
• Keep it simple: When you send an email, text, or leave a voicemail, don’t ask them to get back to you. Don’t even ask them a question. And don’t feel pressure to continue a dialogue if they do respond. They’ll understand that you’re busy. But you took the initiative to type their name or dial their number, and to say a short prayer just for them. That’s enough to speak volumes.

I’d wager that this tiny, humble outreach from their pastor will be felt more strongly than nearly all of the good and necessary top-down services and communications. Showing you care for them may make these parishioners more open to you, to praying with your community, and to contributing to the parish when the pandemic passes.

I promise you, their hearts will be warmed. And you will have done a great thing—not only for them in this moment, but for the future of your parish.

Even better, they link their Sunday worship aid, an Act of Spiritual Communion, and then (the really innovative piece) an Offertory option in the description under the video. They invite people to give through both Venmo and their website.

We think every Catholic parish and campus ministry should produce a YouTube channel like Duke’s to simulcast their Masses and invite a sacrificial financial response to accompany their worship. This is such a tangible way to unite with the separated Body of Christ during this time. We continue to unite our finances, offered to the Lord in worship, for the building up of the Body.

We think this is a great model to emulate and hope that you can dedicate some staff time to creating a page like this. It will help your people engage more deeply in discipleship and will also help your budgets through this difficult time.

Below are some tips for improving our conversational skills, which strengthen our relationships and help us to eventually hear the faith stories of our friends. Prompting conversation and listening well are pre-requisite skills for sharing our faith in Christ. Whether introverted or extroverted, we are all called to care for people by asking good questions and listening attentively. Pray about this; ask the Lord for courage and for open doors!

10 Tips for Leading Better Conversations

1. Ask questions! This takes effort, thought and intentionality.

2. Make them the expert. Everyone is an “expert” in something and loves to talk about it.  Find it.

3. Be genuinely curious, amazed, interested and reverent towards people. The Grand Canyon is a smaller miracle than each of us quirky humans.

4. Seek first to understand. Everyone has a deep desire to be known and understood—including you.  Sacrifice some of your desire to be known, for a bit, while you give another the dignity of being truly listened to / understood / the center of attention.

5. Ask about the details. “Tell me more about that.” Who, what, where, when, why…? (Fewer yes/no questions)

6. Use differences as a help to conversation, not a hindrance. Don’t simply look for things in common, and don’t worry if you don’t have much in common. Differences present an easy opportunity to ask more questions.  “I don’t know the first thing about that! Tell me more about it…” Don’t be afraid to ask “dumb” questions.  The other person will be happy to educate you!

7. Be fully present, and truly LISTEN. No multi-tasking (bodily or mentally). Not half in, half out. The person in front of you is the most important thing right now.

   Even when you think of something you want to say in response, keep on listening.  Avoid formulating questions and responses while the other person is talking. Let those thoughts come and go as you continue to listen.

8. Watch your body language. Smile once in a while! Unfold those arms?

9. Win the right to be heard. People don’t care what you know until they know that you care. Eventually they may ask you some questions. Then you can talk more about yourself, your thoughts, your stories, your faith.

10. Don’t argue. Don’t pontificate. Try to avoid hot-button issues. If an issue comes up, in which someone disagrees with the Church, your first goal is NOT to defend, but to help the person feel understood. (Note: causing someone to feel understood and empathizing is not the same thing as agreeing. You may be the first Catholic not to argue with this person or make them feel condemned.  This will build trust and possibly curiosity.)

Some Questions / Conversation Starters

This is simply a list of questions to give you ideas of how to get acquainted with new people.  Obviously, you will have to personalize them.  In general, do not overthink this!

• Where are you from? Do you live around here?
• Do you have family?
  • If so, find names, kids’ ages, how long married, how did you meet?
• What do you do (work/school)?
  • Tell me more about that. How long have you been doing it? Did you study for it?
  • What’s your major?
  • What’s most rewarding? What’s most difficult?
• Do you travel? Work or fun?  Where do you like to go?  Favorite place?  Least favorite place?  Why?
• What do you like to do (hobbies)?
  • Ask lots of follow up questions here. How did you begin?  Why do you like it?  How do you do it?
• What do you like to read? What are you currently reading?

If the time/context is appropriate, and initial trust is in place, here are some initial spiritual questions

• How long have you been going to church here?
• Did you grow up Catholic/Christian (or whatever is appropriate)?
  • What was that like? Did you pray as a family?
  • Who was most influential in your faith as a child?
• What’s your faith life like now?
  • How would you describe your experience of God?
  • What does your prayer look like for you? How did it get here?  Did someone help you?

1. Prompt the person to articulate a goal. Ask them to articulate one way they want to move forward in their life with Christ.
2. Ask them to identify obstacles to accomplishing this goal. It probably isn’t the first time they’ve thought about this goal. Why haven’t they followed through with it yet? What’s holding them back? Is it a scheduling issue, a lack of clarity, a fear or temptation, etc.? Without a plan to address it, whatever stood in their way in the past is likely to do so this time as well.
3. Help them create a realistic plan: how can they reach this goal in a specific, achievable way? Help them adjust the goal to be a SMART goal (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound). Encourage them to set short-term benchmarks: people need to experience “quick wins” to stay motivated, at least at first. Don’t let their goals be too lofty or you’ll both get discouraged. Faithfulness to small steps builds momentum towards larger strides.
4. Ask how you can help the person. What support and/or accountability do they desire? Perhaps a text message or a call at a certain time? Perhaps to accomplish part of the goal together sometime soon? Do they need more information, or to connect with someone else?
5. Always be generous in affirmation, encouragement and prayer for this person.

You won’t want to use these steps at each and every meeting. Just bear them in mind as your considering the overall progress of your one-on-ones. Most people will need to adjust their goals and strategies many times as they engage in trial and error. It’s all part of the process. Mentoring another in discipleship isn’t about mastering all the details of the journey; it’s about journeying together. Don’t be the annoying traveling companion thumping the itinerary. Enjoy the journey, and help them enjoy it too!

Changes in society, religious education, family, and the Church require that what happened organically within thick social/cultural settings of an earlier age (perhaps) now must be done deliberately. Even practicing U.S. Catholics in the twenty-first century are much less likely to have received the kind of integrated, holistic faith formation that produces a supernatural worldview and a desire for the spiritual life. It goes without saying that the many who were only baptized and perhaps given first communion, but never taken to Mass again receive no spiritual apprenticeship whatsoever. A new believer obviously has no experience living as a Catholic follower of Jesus and needs someone to show them how to life as a disciple.

The Evangelical Catholic has consistently seen over the years that in ministries where one-on-one discipleship mentoring becomes normative and natural, evangelization flourishes. This is why we encourage one-on-one discipleship in every ministry we partner with, and have ever since our inception in the early 1990s. It is the most essential part of our method.

The best-known Catholic book on this topic is Forming Intentional Disciples by Sherry Weddell, co-director of the Catherine of Siena Institute. She explores why we haven’t made disciples, and how we can start. Weddell is very explicit that not only does evangelization depend on making disciples; almost everything needed in the Church and the world does as well:

We have seen it happen over and over. The presence of a significant number of disciples changes everything…. Disciples pray with passion. Disciples worship. Disciples love the Church and serve her with energy and joy. Disciples give lavishly. Disciples hunger to learn more about their faith. Disciples fill every formation class in a parish or diocese. Disciples manifest charisms and discern vocations. They clamor to discern God’s call because they long to live it. Disciples evangelize because they have really good news to share. Disciples share their faith with their children. Disciples care about the poor and about issues of justice. Disciples take risks for the Kingdom of God.[1]

Some might be thinking: “Well and good, but easier said than done.” Few if any of us had the option to sign up for “Disciple Making 101”!

How to Make Disciples: Relational Ministry

Parishes or campus ministries could offer classes in discipleship, but the predictable few would attend. For those that came, they would be able to pass on very little of whatever they learned. Forget classes: form a few, like Jesus did, in close relationship with you so they can do the same for someone else. Faith is more easily caught than taught. It’s an old truism for a reason… Relational ministry works.

The EC, as Pope Paul VI did in Evangelii Nuntiandi, calls this “person-to-person ministry.” The Church calls this spiritual companionship “an apprenticeship” by which Christians “are initiated into the mystery of salvation and an evangelical style of life” (General Directory for Catechesis, 63).

More simply put, one-on-one discipleship offers the growth in Christ people need within the relationships they want. In an age of shallow conversation and superficial social media, people are starving for meaningful relationships.

You don’t have to be an expert. Share what you know about being a follower of Jesus with someone in your life who wants to follow him too. Disciples make disciples, just like Jesus said, in small groups as he did, and one-on-one, as his followers did.

[1] Forming Intentional Disciples, Sherry Weddell, p80-81 (italics emphasis Weddell’s).

The general goal of the small group launching discussion is simple: get people talking. Even better: get people sharing meaningful things in a simple and unthreatening way. This builds trust and paves the way for deeper sharing when discussing God’s Word.

The launching discussion can last anywhere from 5 to 15 minutes and will take different forms depending on the phase and maturity of the group. Groups just starting out will rely more on get-to-know-you type of questions. For groups that have grown together for a while, it is best to use the launching discussion as a chance to hear updates from previously-discussed resolutions, life situations, or prayer suggestions. People need to know each other to grow in both human and spiritual friendship. Keep a balance of natural and spiritual questions.

A Few Ideas

• General Check-in Questions
  • “Highs & Lows” – Share a blessing and a challenge since we last met.
  • “Grace Sharing” – Where did you experience God this past week?

• Seasonal Prompts
  • What do you hope to get out of Lent this year?
  • What was one of your favorite moments from this holiday season?

• Prayer Check-in Questions
  • Let’s share our experiences from using last week’s prayer suggestions.
  • How did prayer go this week? Any blessings, insights, or struggles to share?

As Catholics we sometimes recoil at this kind of talk. Our experience grounds us in a more communal, sacramental, and gradual process of initiation rites and sanctification, beginning at baptism and maturing throughout life.

A common — and quite good — Catholic response to the question of “Are you saved?” is, “I have been saved; I am being saved; and I will be saved.” We were saved when Jesus came, lived, died, and rose for us and for our salvation (Nicene Creed). We were saved when we entered formally into his Body, the Church, through baptism. We are being saved as we consent consciously to the ongoing transformation (metanoia) that Jesus guides through the Holy Spirit. We will be saved through grace-filled perseverance and final purification.

This rich response embraces the past, present, and future dimensions of salvation in Christ, each of which is well-attested in Scripture.

This theologically rich answer to the question of salvation is profoundly helpful, but another point may need emphasizing. Because of our common belief in the long and communal journey of salvation, we as Catholics can sometimes fail to emphasize the urgency and importance of making a personal decision and commitment to follow Jesus. If some Protestant communities have erred in over-emphasizing a “once-and-done” moment of salvation, it is also true that many of our Catholic communities have erred in not calling Catholics to make a conscious “fundamental option” (General Directory for Catechesis, 56) to seek, know, love, and follow Jesus.

Both initial and ongoing conversion are vitally important in the life of every disciple. Some people will know the moment when they first opened their heart to Christ (“it was about the tenth hour,” John 1:39); others will not. We can celebrate the diverse paths Jesus leads us on as he takes each of us ever deeper into the paschal mystery.

For further reflection on the richness of the process of salvation and its implications for pastoral ministry, read the following excerpt from the General Directory for Catechesis:

Conversion and faith

In proclaiming the Good News of Revelation to the world, evangelization invites men and women to conversion and faith. The call of Jesus, ‘Repent and believe in the Gospel,’ (Mk 1:15) continues to resound today by means of the Church’s work of evangelization. The Christian faith is, above all, conversion to Jesus Christ, full and sincere adherence to his person and the decision to walk in his footsteps.  Faith is a personal encounter with Jesus Christ, making of oneself a disciple of him. This demands a permanent commitment to think like him, to judge like him and to live as he lived. In this way the believer unites himself to the community of disciples and appropriates the faith of the Church.

This ‘Yes’ to Jesus Christ, who is the fullness of the revelation of the Father is twofold: a trustful abandonment to God and a loving assent to all that he has revealed to us. This is possible only by means of the action of the Holy Spirit.

‘By faith man freely commits his entire self completely to God, making the full submission of his intellect and will to God who reveals, and willingly assenting to the Revelation given by him.’

‘To believe has thus a double reference: to the person and to the truth; to the truth, by trust in the person who bears witness to it.’

Faith involves a change of life, a ‘metanoia,’ that is a profound transformation of mind and heart; it causes the believer to live that conversion. This transformation of life manifests itself at all levels of the Christian’s existence: in his interior life of adoration and acceptance of the divine will, in his action, participation in the mission of the Church, in his married and family life; in his professional life; in fulfilling economic and social responsibilities.

Faith and conversion arise from the ‘heart,’ that is, they arise from the depth of the human person and they involve all that he is. By meeting Jesus Christ and by adhering to him the human being sees all of his deepest aspirations completely fulfilled. He finds what he had always been seeking and he finds it superabundantly. Faith responds to that ‘waiting,’ often unconscious and always limited in its knowledge of the truth about God, about man himself and about the destiny that awaits him. It is like pure water which refreshes the journey of man, wandering in search of his home. Faith is a gift from God. It can only be born in the intimacy of Man’s heart as a fruit of that ‘grace [which] moves and assists him,’ and as a completely free response to the promptings of the Holy Spirit who moves the heart and turns it toward God, and who ‘makes it easy for all to accept and believe the truth.’ The Blessed Virgin Mary lived these dimensions of faith in the most perfect way. The Church ‘venerates in Mary the purest realization of faith.’

The process of continuing conversion

Faith is a gift destined to grow in the hearts of believers. Adhering to Jesus Christ, in fact, sets in motion a process of continuing conversion, which lasts for the whole of life. He who comes to faith is like a new born child, who, little by little, will grow and change into an adult, tending towards the state of the ‘perfect man,’ and to maturity in the fullness of Christ. From a theological viewpoint, several important moments can be identified in the process of faith and conversion:

a) Interest in the Gospel. The first moment is one in which, in the heart of the non-believer or of the indifferent or of those who practice other religions, there is born, as a result of its first proclamation, an interest in the Gospel, yet without any firm decision. This first movement of the human spirit towards faith, which is already a fruit of grace, is identified by different terms: ‘propensity for the faith,’ ‘evangelic preparation,’ inclination to believe, ‘religious quest.’ The Church calls those who show such concern ‘sympathizers.’

b) Conversion. This first moment of interest in the Gospel requires a period of searching to be transformed into a firm option. The option for faith must be a considered and mature one. Such searching, guided by the Holy Spirit and the proclamation of the Kerygma, prepares the way for conversion which is certainly “initial”, but brings with it adherence to Christ and the will to walk in his footsteps. This “fundamental option” is the basis for the whole Christian life of the Lord’s disciple.

c) Profession of faith. Abandonment of self to Jesus Christ arouses in believers a desire to know him more profoundly and to identify with him. Catechesis initiates them in knowledge of faith and apprenticeship in the Christian life, thereby promoting a spiritual journey which brings about a ‘progressive change in outlook and morals.’ This is achieved in sacrifices and in challenges, as well as in the joys which God gives in abundance. The disciple of Jesus Christ is then ready to make an explicit, living and fruitful profession of faith.

d) Journeying towards perfection. The basic maturity which gives rise to the profession of faith is not the final point in the process of continuing conversion. The profession of baptismal faith is but the foundation of a spiritual building which is destined to grow. The baptized, moved always by the Spirit, nourished by the sacraments, by prayer and by the practice of charity, and assisted by multiple forms of ongoing education in the faith, seeks to realize the desire of Christ: ‘Be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect.’ This is the call to the fullness of perfection which is addressed to all the baptized.

The ministry of the word is at the service of this process of full conversion. The first proclamation of the Gospel is characterized by the call to faith; catechesis by giving a foundation to conversion and providing Christian life with a basic structure; while ongoing education in the faith, in which the place of the homily must be underlined, is characterized by being the necessary nourishment of which every baptized adult has need in order to live. (53-57)