Although the topic is quite metaphysical, it got me thinking about social media and really what differentiates those who are good at buliding community and good at connecting to their audience. What is that these people have or do that makes them good at connection?

People ask me how I connect with my audience, and in this video [2 min], I share with you one of my secrets. In comments, please share what has worked for you!

Would you take or pass up an opportunity to earn some generous blog revenue if it entailed having to contradict what your brand stands for?

Welcome to the test called: Money or Values

This is a situation every blogger who makes money or their living from their blog(s) because not only are we content creator, we are also business owner. The clash between editorial and profit is classic, but it becomes even more interesting when the two sides reside in the same body, namely you, the independent blogger.

The answer at first glance appears a no-brainer, “Well of course I’d stand by my values above everything. That’s why I became a blogger. I won’t sell out for money.”

See, that’s blogger idealism at its finest.

In this post, I'll share with you a real situation that I passed up, and how my idealism was challenged. This particular situation was one of those borderline cases where it would have been so easy to take because the offer was so tempting. But, I thought about what I wanted to add to my track record.

But what if...

What happens though when say, the economy crashes. Budgets are drying up. Ad networks are slashing your CPMs and extending payment out from 30 days to 90 days. People are tired of hearing eBook spiels and your traffic dips for a myriad of reasons you can’t pinpoint. And better yet, your significant other is breathing down your neck about paying the bills or going on that long overdo vacation.

That idealism to pass on cash to stand by your values can start to thin once you find yourself in a financial bind where stress and desperation start to cloud your judgment. If you're like me, during the deep end times, you've found yourself in fetal position in bed at noon wondering, "Why am I doing this crazy blog thing again?"

If it becomes a choice between, paying rent or getting evicted, bending on your values for income appears easier to justify, or we get mentally creative and think of ways to spin the story so it somehow fits into what we stand for. At the time of financial crisis, getting cash in the pocket becomes front and center.

When revenue opportunity knocks

Rebecca Watson Director of Business Development of Real Girls Media, the folks who publish Divine Caroline, wrote this excellent post in iMedia Connection, “A step-by-step plan for finding your influentials…..” On the second page towards the end of the article, Rebecca points out a fitness blogger who passed up on a generous opportunity to stand by her values because her,” readers' trust in her helpful health content was more important than revenue”

That fitness blogger Rebecca referred to was me. I turned down the opportunity because the product contained high fructose corn syrup (HFCS), and as much as the HFCS industry would like us all to believe that HFCS is fine because it comes from corn, I highly differ in opinion.

On Noshtopia my food blog, I’m all about eating wellness through cleaner eating which means avoiding stuff like HFCS. On Back in Skinny Jeans, my now retired blog about healthy living, I resonate the same message of eating wellness.

My whole online brand is built around promoting organics, all natural, fresh, and eating as non-labcoat made as possible. Healthy eating to me is about quality not just low calories. However, I’m not about perfect eating either because hey even I on occasion will eat fast food and a Krispy Kreme.

To participate in a project where I am getting paid and basically endorsing a product that contradicts my values, to me is a fast track to killing or at the very least weakening your brand because now you’re actions are saying, “Hey I believe this stuff until I need money and someone offers me a big bucketful of loot.”

Yeah, it’s not so good.

Truth time. Maybe I can spin this and take the check

I gotta be honest; turning down Rebecca’s opportunity was painful. It was painful because there was so much good about this opportunity and only one bad thing, but that one bad thing was a whopper. I even tried to get creative in my brain and see if there was any way I could spin this story to fit with my brand values.

Much to my dismay, um, no way Jose could I spin high fructose corn syrup into being something better and healthy than what it is. As my 90 year-old Jewish grandma friend would say, “It is what it is.”

I get pitched product opportunities often, and most actually are not hard to turn down because it’s just not an obvious win/win, but this particular opportunity with Real Girls Media was different, and what was so deliciously tempting was:

• It was generous pay for few hours.

• I’d get paid right away. I didn’t have to wait 1/3 the year to get a check like what the Ad networks do.

• What I had to blog about was what I normally blogged about on Back in Skinny Jeans and Noshtopia. This project wasn’t about direct product shilling; it was about living well, which I really liked and did fit in with my brand theme.

• It associates my brand with Real Girls Media, who because of Divine Caroline is a very well respected online brand.

• The brand sponsoring this opportunity was a huge well known consumer brand that would look awesome in my blogger portfolio. Let’s be honest, the bigger the names you have on your list, the easier it becomes to land other revenue generating opportunities with other huge well known consumer brands.

But alas, *sigh*, the product itself contains high fructose corn syrup. And ironically, my two cents, this product doesn’t need it. I think the product would sell more if they went all natural.

Looking at the short term vs. long term gain and/or loss

I also thought twice about taking this opportunity because it also came at a time, when I really needed money. But thinking deeper, in my heart, I knew that taking this short term gain would hurt my revenue generation future long term because I’m blatantly contradicting my brand values thus weakening and jeopardizing  the trust I have built up with my audience which took years and lots of sweat.

No way am I putting at risk all that effort! I will just continue to eat tuna and shop on sale a bit longer until the tides turn.

By passing this opportunity up, I am also trusting that the universe will see that I’m serious about my whole live authentically theme, and thus present other opportunities as generous or more that fit with my brand values.

So, have you passed up blog revenue during a tough time to stick by your values? Or, if you did take an opportunity that contradicted your brand values, what resulted?

Yesterday, I nearly had heart failure when I opened up my Citibank Citicards VISA statement, and saw that it was double the usual payment. After getting off the phone with Citibank to ask them what happened, I felt like I got paid a visit by the loan shark.

The Interwebs are a consumer's ally

I prefer to use blogging as a way to help inspire and be uplifting. Rarely do I rant or go off on people, places, or things. But when I do a rant, like I did with Oprah and her January 09 weight gain issue, I do so because I am so blown away by the ridiculousness that something has to be said….and to be honest, in this particular case, Citibank made me feel like they were some big bully stealing lunch money from a good kid just because they felt like it. Frankly, I hate bullies!

But then I remembered, naw, I’m not powerless against a corporate bully, I have the interwebs, and I can fight back. This is the power of social media for the consumer, and brands had better start taking it more seriously because consumers don’t have to lie down and just take it anymore.

Loan sharking 101: Scare them into paying up

Essentially, Citibank Citicards lost me as a VISA customer more because I felt forced to choose between an outrageous payment or hurting my credit score if I didn’t pony up more dough.

What pisses me off the most is that what they are doing is using the fear of affecting my good credit I’ve worked so hard for as a way to gauge me for more money. That is SO wrong on so many levels.

Citicards doubled my interest rate from 15% to 30% because, and I quote, “….in order for us to provide better services to all our customers.” WTF! How is this customer, me, getting better service by having to fork over a huge chunk of cash which is enough money, in my case, to pay my iPhone bill and car insurance plus some happy hour drinks.

My other option was to stay at the 15% but then my account is now officially closed. Here’s some reasons closing a credit card can hurt your credit rating. Those were my two options from Citibank, and because of my current financial situation, I had to close the account because there is no way I could pay double. None.

Disguised as options

Citibank calls those options; I say those are not options. That is like the Hitman asking you, “Would you like me to stab you or choke you?” What does it matter, I’m still gonna suffer and then be dead.

In this Citibank situation, no matter what I choose I am financially screwed, and for no reason other than, “….because we can. It says so in the fine print.”

What Citibank’s statement really means is that because they made mistakes passing out credit like it was Halloween candy, and then a whole slew of people and their bad credit habits got their institution into financial troubles,  I, an excellent long term customer am being punished for other people’s mistakes.

My VISA is as old as the interwebs

I have been an excellent Citibank VISA customer for 14 years without ONE problem. I got my credit card in 1995, that’s practically when the Internet came into our homes. For 14 years of being a good, loyal customer, I get no break whatsoever. Financially, I have been in a pinch myself, but I always paid my payment on time. I have never been late with them thanks to automatic payments.

You WANT to keep a customer like me

Not to toot my horn, but frankly, I’m the kind of customer a credit card company wants to have, pays on time, never complains, and spends money…for 14 years. During my pre-IPO millionaire days, you should have seen the charges I put on that card. Interest rate gold.

And yes, I am going through some financial tough times right now, but better believe that will not be the case for long. I plan on having those millionaire days again because if you did it once, you can do it again.

But more importantly, in general, I have a good credit rating, and I've shown some stress, but I pay all my cards and bills on time. Why can't Citibank see the whole picture, not just a sliver of it?

My hopes for buying a house sag like a wilted plant

The closure of this card will affect my credit mainly because the VISA will fall off my credit reports.  This VISA card is my oldest card, again, 14 years, and future creditors like to see long history, and now it will be gone. All that hard work is gone.

This card closure will affect my ability to get a home loan as a first time buyer, and one of the reasons I moved to Phoenix recently from the Bay Area is so I could buy a home. Can you see my hopes of buying that home start to vanish? Poof!

Maxing out

Closing cards also signals that you’ve maxed out or are close to maxing out your card. In my case, yes, I was close to the max limit, but who isn’t in this tough financial time?

But more importantly, what does it matter if I make my payments on time? I have never missed a payment, and I didn’t close my credit card because it was a decision I felt best for me, I closed the card because Vinnie waved brass knuckles in my face and said, "Pay up 30% interest or take it in the knees."

Out of principle, I will not give more money to a bully, so okay, I'll take it in the knees, and then go share my story on the web.

Not all customers are credit equal

In the fine print, Citibank essentially says they can just raise your interest if they feel like it when you venture too close to the max limit. How is this fair at all? I get that Citibank is a business and has to make money, but do you have to treat your good customers like the delinquent ones?

Again, I can understand the rise in interest rate if I have started to shown signs like late or no payments, but I have done nothing like that. My assumption is that my summary just triggered some software program to lump me in with everyone else because the numbers put me in some category that triggers, “Double their interest rate.”

I thought long and hard before closing the card, but I just cannot suck it up and pay that doubled monthly payment at the new 30%. My immediate needs take over future needs, and I really HATE that Citibank put me in that position, especially when I have done nothing wrong.

Forget writing customer service. I will blog and tweet instead

After talking to a service rep, then higher up the food chain to a manager, they both told me I could  write a letter to Citibank customer service, but seriously that’s a useless Dilbert procedure. No thank you.

Instead, I shared that I’ll take my dissatisfaction to my blog and Twitter because I have no doubt that I am not the only one Citibank Citicards has taken advantage of this way. Even if we don't get anything resolved with Citibank, we can at least feel like we've bonded with others. Again, this is one of the beauties of social media, finding a commonality with others and feeling less alone.

Were you an excellent credit card customer and then got interest rate gauged? What did you do?

You know how you meet someone and you end up having one of those first dates where time just seems to fly by and at the end you feel like you're on a cloud wondering, "Where have you been my whole life?"

Well, that's how I felt when I got my first iPhone, the 3GS with video, two weeks ago when friend Chris bought one for me and saved me from my 2004 Motorola RAZR. photo of me by @doverbey.

I know. I know. It sounds dorky to feel like you are being romanced by a piece of electronics. "Steph it's just a phone. Not a husband." Well, it's almost like an electronic husband.

I love this thing! It's not often I get all fangirl about something, in fact, rarely do I get this attached to an inanimate object, but literally, after just one week, this iPhone made my life so much better in terms of productivity, efficiency, and comfort. Yes, comfort.

I find the phone comforting because I can never get lost, forget anything, or feel uninformed ever again. And best yet, it's pretty and cute. Admittedly, design and cuteness highly matters to me. Functional can also look hawt and this is a factoid that most geeks underestimate. Looks matter and sometimes more so than pure function.

Example, hot chicks and dudes. They may be lacking in substance but they look hot and for many people that's enough to build a relationship upon. Not saying it's right. Yeah, it's superficial. I'm just saying that's a reality to consider even in designing a piece of electronics. The whole fashion industry is based on looks and Apple gets the looks thing better than anyone in tech.

The iPhone is both hot and full of substance

The girlie part in me loves, loves the cuteness of the apps, the shiny curves of the phone, and the little details that just make you fall in love much like the small things you come to love in a person. I am totally into design, so those big and small design elements matter a great deal to me.

I got razzled all the time by people who couldn't believe a professional blogger like myself could function with a 2004 cell phone because it's so ancient since it only has a regular phone dial pad. Like, how else could one function without a full keyboard. But hey, I built a Twitter following of 45K+ @skinnyjeans with that RAZR and remind people it's not the tools, it's the skills.

But I have to admit, having a more robust tool is helping me be more functional with the skills. For example, here are just a few things I have come to love about this iPhone:

• Tweetie: As a top Twitterer, Tweetie has actually made Twitter more fun for me because I can tweet on the go and even take pictures without having to go to a second app or web screen.

• Google maps: I recently moved from San Francisco to Phoenix, and I really don't know what I would have done it without this iPhone and the maps app. The thing acts like a GPS. I am comforted in knowing that I will never be lost again.

• Room: One of the apps that Chris' company has developed is called Room for travel (it's Free) and in it you can jot down your hotel room number. It's not part of the feature but you can also jot things like where you parked your car at the airport and your rental car info like what I did here in the picture. For my rental car, I got a white Sedan and thank goodness I could note the plate number because there are like a bazillion white Sedan cars in Phoenix.

• My .mac mail loads so much faster on the iPhone than on the web. It's also so much easier to delete all the spam mails I get.

• There are iPhone versions of all the websites I use on a regular basis like Facebook, Skype, Linked In, Yelp, and Yahoo IM. The iPhone versions are all easy to use and again pretty to look at.

• The iPhone apps in general are really really cool and fun. I spent the first two days with my phone literally just looking at and playing with apps. I was totally sucked in and immersed. I have one app that shows me how much water I've had for the day. I can play Shanghai my favorite time killer. And I even have Match.com so I can find a real husband :) 

One of the reasons I left Silicon Valley was because I was tired of this geek mentality that only speeds, feeds, and features matter. Well they do matter but they are not everything to everyone, and especially to us everyday folks who just want something useful and enjoyable.

What most people care about and I mean truly care about more than features is, "Will this thing help me with stuff like make money, lose weight, find love, locate deals, or make me happy?" Who cares what the chips, software code, or hard drive capacity is as long as the thing again is useful, worth the price (which is subjective), enjoyable, and yeah hot looking to those who care about that.

And yeah, as much as I love the phone, it also is not perfect. The dropped calls are annoying but I haven't experienced the drops that much, and mobile phones are never as reliable as land lines. And, I have to get used to the fact that I have to keep the nails on my thumbs and index finger short because the touch screen is not fingernail friendly. But like people, there is no such thing as perfect. There is only what works best for you and your needs.And so far, the iPhone exceeds my expectations.

I'm in love. You'll find me happily committed to my iPhone :)

Disclosure: Chris and I are doing work together on iPhone apps. We used to work together back in my corporate days, and he was one of the few people who had my back at that company. I happily plug Chris and work with him because you never forget those who were kind to you when you needed it most.

The big question when starting a new blog is always, "What should I blog about?"

Your blog topic is most important because it's something you should care about deeply as you will be writing about that topic all the time, it gives your audience something to learn from and relate with, and your topic will determine what kinds of brands you can work with for advertising or sponsorship.

In this post, I'll share the typical advice on how to pick a blog topic and then my advice. The two are related yest different in approach.

The usual suspects advice

The typical advice that is given on how to determine a blog topic is to write what you're passionate about. And that is very true because again, you and your blog topic will be together 24/7/365 until you shut down or sell the blog.

So what is it that you are passionate about? Well, if you are like me, I am passionate about a dozen things at any given time and some of those passions can last anywhere from a week to a decades. And of course, many of those passions of mine don't necessarily mesh together like Battlestar Galactica to healthy eating.

I guess I could do a blog about how to eat healthy in outer space but then how would I make money? What kind of brands would be interested in advertising with me? Uh, yogurt in jet packets?

To be an effective blog in terms of attracting readers, publicity, and revenue, you need to have focus. If you want to be a BIG blog like millions in traffic kind of blog, you need to have a topic that appeals to mainstream (in whatever your niche is) yet has your own panache.

Steph's advice

My advice in finding the right topic for you to blog about is a bit more specific than picking something you are passionate about. I recommend that you pick something that you just can't shut up about. That's right. For a moment, do not think about the blog. Just think in general terms.

What is a topic or thing that you could go on and on about for what feels like forever. You just cannot help yourself. You could talk about this thing endlessly because it's something that just lights a fire in you. You can't shut up.

Great but who will care & how do I make money

A lady who wanted to start blogging asked me, "Well Steph, I cannot shut up about macaroni & cheese. How many people are really going to care about that and how can I make money with that topic? Mac & Cheese doesn't seem like it will be a big money maker."

Her skepticism is understandable.

Why people read blogs in the first place

Here's the thing. People read blogs and continue to come back to your blog because they like you, your energy, what you have to offer, and what you are about. These traits can only come out if you're lit up, and when you're lit up again, you cannot shut up.

Because the word "passionate" has been used so often in business the brain typically automatically starts to associate, "So what is it that I am passionate about...that can make money?" Logic now kicks in and makes picking a blog topic harder not easier because you start thinking about "money and traffic making" topics versus topics that set your soul on fire.

In blogging at least in the topic picking department, I believe the heart, the soul, emotion and spirit, should take the lead because the key differentiator between a blog and say your typical mass media site is the heart part. Plus, you are going to be married to this topic. This topic will be in your life all the time, so it might as well be something you can't shut up about.

Back to Mac & Cheese

Say you can't shut up about Mac & Cheese, films with cute animals, fishing poles, space ships, or lipstick, I say that is absolutely fabulous so start blogging. Just start. Let your enthusiasm express itself, and let that passion open doors for you because you have no idea what kind of doors will open for you.

When I started blogging in 2005, I could not shut up about wanting to wear my skinny jeans again. To me, when I put my business hat on, that topic sounded really ridiculous. But my heart, well my heart had LOTS to say. I could not shut up about this topic for 3 years and 8 months.

Did I think that topic would be a money maker or get me on Fox News, USA Today, PBS, CNBC? Did I think Jillian Michaels would talk about my blog? Did I think Microsoft would come calling and want to hire me? Did I think going on endlessly about wanting to wear the skinny jeans would make me one of the top Twitterers in the world?

Oh heck no! How could anyone predict any of this? I couldn't and neither can you. Your logic cannot see what is possible, and your heart can lead you somewhere amazing because it only knows joy. And joy is what leads people to success and fulfillment.

What are you waiting for?

My point is. Just start. Pick that thing you can't shut up about and start blogging. The opportunities are endless when you let your heart lead, and you remain open to what could happen. Let your passions guide you!

For those of you who have been blogging for some time now, what criteria or method did you use to help you pick a blog topic?