The Executive Ladder

Simplify your Life in 2009

jfrank03 — 2009-01-08T13:41:09-05:00

I’m back from a three week sabbatical with my kids and although we had a great time, I’m thrilled to be at work again. Occasionally, all of my juggling becomes overwhelming and I wonder if I gave the whole stay-at-home mom thing a fair shake. Fortunately, a little time away from the office clears up any doubt I’m experiencing. It takes about ten days for me to start getting bored and another three or four days to become restless. By the end of the second week, I’m going completely crazy.

I need to work. I need to be more than a wife and a mother. At this point, it’s not about whether or not I should work, it’s about making my life as a working mom easier. This way, I can experience the joys of being a mother and the satisfaction of professional achievement.

There are more products and services available to help working moms than we can ever imagine. To make it easier for moms to find these businesses, and thereby make their lives easier, I created the Working Mother Network. I’ve highlighted a few of the members below. Do you know about a great resource for working moms? Add it to our list!

If one of your New Year’s resolutions was to simplify your life, reach out to the businesses below. A little help goes a long way!

Resources for Working Moms

for organization:

The Clutter Diet

People usually want to get organized for the New Year. In this economy, our online coaching program is the perfect solution for people who want expert advice on a budget. We answer every question from our members in our message boards, where they can upload photos to show us their space and get advice. We provide hours of multimedia tutorials and audio content for them to reference on their organizing journey. www.clutterdiet.com

for peace of mind:

www.Forms4Parents.com

Forms4Parents.com is a website that allows parents to customize forms to their unique family situation and provide travel consents, temporary custodial authority and medical authorizations, with important medical information about your child along with emergency contacts and insurance information. The forms are prepared online and downloaded in a matter of minutes. You can even upload a picture of your child or their travel or guardian onto each form! From now until March 31, 2009 Forms4Parents.com is offering 25% off your total purchase.

for time management:

My Life On Time

My Life On Time is a creator of custom personal organization products and accessories for busy and fashion-conscious women. With many options to choose from, My Life On Time can create a custom solution to suit your busy life.

for mom entrepreneurs:

www.TheMomEntrepreneur.com

We offer a list of grants, contests, awards and PR opportunities for mom entrepreneurs. In addition, we offer tips, advice and resources on balancing motherhood and running a company at our blog www.themomentrepreneur.blogspot.com.

for health & wellness:

www.WellnessHealthCoaching.com

Amy Lippmann is a Certified Holistic Health Counselor and offers coaching for whole body wellness. Learn more at www.wellnesshealthcoaching.com.

Blog Interview with Dr. Larina Kase, Author of The Confident Leader

jfrank03 — 2008-11-18T21:15:30-05:00

As business owners, why do we need to become confident leaders?

Whether you own a business of 1 (you) or 1,000, you are the leader—of yourself, your business, your life. As a leader, your confidence will determine what you achieve as well as how others respond to you and your business.

In terms of business growth, your confidence will enable you to take on key challenges in growing your business, such as:

· Describing the benefits of your business and educating others why they should do business with you.

· Getting yourself to do the marketing activities that you want to avoid (things like public speaking, networking, running a blog) but you know would help you build your business.

· Inspiring others (your employees, virtual assistants, contractors) to stay motivated and see the big picture.

· Presenting your business from a standpoint of conviction and value (which attracts others and makes them want to do business with you) rather than insecurity or desperation.

How can we tell if we (or others) lack confidence?

The number one thing to look for is avoidance. When people have confidence, they will take on all sorts of things, feeling secure that even if they “fail,” they’ll work it out. On the other hand, when we lack confidence, we tend to avoid situations when we fear we could fail, embarrass ourselves, or let ourselves or others done.

Keep in mind that avoidance can be subtle. It may not be as obvious as declining to participate in a project. More often, we’ll attempt something but do it half-heartedly or rely on crutches.

For example, let’s say that you lack confidence in your ability to introduce yourself. You may not avoid it (you know you can’t sit there and say nothing), but you use the crutches of speaking really fast, looking down, and not saying an interesting fact about yourself.

Or let’s say that someone lacked confidence about confronting people and having difficult conversations. She may attempt to confront someone but she tries so hard to be nice and not offend that person (her crutch) that she lacks assertiveness and doesn’t express her needs.

What if we come across as too confident?

Many people worry about appearing arrogant and would rather appear less confident than over-confident. In reality, it is often a lack of confidence that makes people come across as over-confident.

When we lack confidence, we tend to overcompensate. And it is the overcompensation makes people look over-confident (or look like they’re trying too hard) and puts others off.

If someone is worried that he will come across as unintelligent, he’ll try to use fancy language, and will look like he thinks he’s so smart. If someone worries that she will come across as boring, she will try to be interesting, and will look like she loves to talk about herself.

There are exceptions. Sometimes people actually are arrogant and have an inflated image of themselves. You would know if this were you because you’d think that you can do no wrong, your opinion of yourself would be higher than others (you’d be shocked by Bs on papers or performance reviews that were not 100% glowing). You’d dominate conversations and not be interested in others’ viewpoints. If this is you, then these things need to change. If this is not you, then you really don’t need to worry.

What are 3 simple things we can do to build our confidence?

Develop your growth mindset. This is your ability to ask yourself questions like, “What can I learn?” from situations regardless of their outcome and NOT to judge yourself from the outcome.
Take on strategic challenges. Push yourself about 20% past your comfort zone by seeking out and taking on challenges (not just dealing with them as they arise).
Give yourself credit. Reward your efforts (not your results) when you have done something difficult.

Can we build confidence from career achievement?

We know from recent research that self-esteem and confidence are some of the most important predictors of career success and income, and that it doesn’t go the other way around—we can’t wait until we having a thriving career and hope that it increases our confidence. Instead, if we develop confidence, we’re more likely to have a thriving career.

Confidence does NOT necessarily come from achievement. It comes from how you interpret your actions. Two people can achieve the same level, and one feels great and proud of her process of getting there, and the other feels that they could have done better or worries if they’ll do as well the next time. (Guess who’s more confident?)

6. How come being effective doesn’t cut it in today’s economy?

As you know, the current economy is a challenging one and it will separate the true leaders from the simply effective people. The cream will rise to the top and they will be the ones who will be most competitive for the best jobs, clients, and other opportunities.

Ironically, in tough times, most people become LESS exceptional. They get scared. They retreat into their comfort zones. They seek security and play it safe. They want to blend in and fly under the radar. They are afraid to accept responsibility for things that don’t go well. They do not step up as leaders.

You must avoid this temptation! These things will keep you in the average zone (or worse) and keep you from being exceptional and presenting your best.

7. What are 5 ways to make yourself exceptional to stand out in a tough market?

· Become an expert. Pick one aspect of your work and make yourself an expert in it, such as “the woman who gracefully handles difficult customers”. This makes you invaluable.

· Speak in specifics. Market the results of your work by highlighting outcomes and data. This type of self-marketing delivers value without coming across as self-promotional.

· Tell stories. Stories engage others and make you memorable. Show your value by telling the success stories of your clients or customers.

· Step up as the leader. During fearful times you’re tempted to fly under the radar, but this makes you dispensable. Instead, pick a project you are qualified to lead and take charge.

· Take ownership. When you’re anxious, fear of failure increases and you don’t want to be blamed for problems. Unfortunately responsibility-shirking undermines your confidence in yourself and others’ trust in you.

8. Why do we know what we need (and even want to do) but we don’t do it?

We high-achieving types are great consumers of knowledge. We always want to learn more and be our best, but most of the time we struggle with turning our knowledge into action. There are many reasons for this, including:

· The timing isn’t right

· We don’t have the right support or other resources

· We aren’t committed to making the change

· We don’t yet have the skills to successfully take action

These reasons can be legitimate and important to consider and manage, or they can be excuses. The #1 reason that we don’t take action is fear. We doubt ourselves and get paralyzed with indecision. When fear is active, these reasons all feel very legitimate, when in reality they are not important.

The key, then, is to critically evaluate your readiness to take action when you are not feeling particularly anxious about the change. If you need to address these factors, do so, and while you have momentum, start taking action!

9. What are the keys to making difficult decisions?

There are essentially two processes at our disposal for making decisions. The fist is rational (based on our thoughts), and the second is emotive (based on our feelings). The second includes the feelings that you’re aware of (excited, interested, skeptical, unsure, afraid, etc.) as well as your intuition or gut feeling.

We owe it to ourselves to use both of these processes when faced with a difficult decision. First, assess your gut reaction. What feels right? Then go through a logical analysis, weighing the pros and cons. Then assess your emotional reaction again. Has it changed?

Bear in mind that much of the research on decision making shows that people are happier with their decisions when they go with their gut reaction or follow their heart. This may be because we try to rationalize our decisions based on what we think we “should” do, but it’s sometimes difficult to change our feelings based on reason.

Our feelings are most helpful in making a decision when they are positive ones. Positive feelings (happiness, liking, interest) compel us toward something while negative feelings (fear, sadness, jealousy) compel us away from something. For example, if you are nervous your feelings may tell you to avoid taking action when in reality this is not the best choice.

So, when in doubt, or if you’re stuck, go with your feelings, especially if they are positive ones.

10. What are the top 5 mistakes that people make when confronting an important change?

When faced with an important decision or change most people make one of the following common mistakes:

1) They avoid the opportunity. They choose to settle for the status quo rather than going after an incredible change because they fear failure and humiliation.

2) They go after the opportunity before they are ready. They plunge right in (knowing that if they don’t take action, they never will). The problem is that they haven’t adequately prepared. They haven’t lined up the resources and support that they need. They haven’t created a plan. They may be successful, but it is more due to luck than strategy.

3) They dilute their responsibility. They go after the opportunity, but choose to be a follower rather than a leader. This way, if it doesn’t work, they aren’t to blame, but if it does, they can claim partial victory.

4) They rely on old crutches. They go for it, but do so with their old crutches and habits which hold them back from truly pursuing the opportunity.

5) They retreat at the first sign of failure. Unfortunately many people escape from uncomfortable situations too early—before they have a chance to get used to the anxiety and achieve their goals.

You see, avoidance is the number one killer of confidence and high-achievement. All five of the mistakes above entail some form of avoidance. The solution is to make a choice and stick to it 100%.

11. What role do public speaking and presentation skills and confidence in front of an audience play in someone being a Confident Leader?

Communication skills are crucial for Confident Leadership. Formal presentation skills (speaking before an audience) are critical, as is the ability to think on your feet and spontaneously answer questions and make decisions, and the ability to have casual conversations where you connect to others.

Without strong communication it is impossible to influence others with your ideas. The most important aspect of communication for Confident Leadership is your nonverbal skills. It’s not what you say as much as how you say it. Your nonverbal skills include body language (facial expression, posture, eye contact) as well as your voice tone (does it sound warm, powerful?), speed (fast enough to have energy but slow enough to be clear), volume (is it sufficiently loud without being overpowering?), and articulation (do you slur your words together?).

Communication is in the eye of the beholder, so it’s important that your nonverbal communication resonate with those with whom you’re speaking. For example, if your audience is high energy salespeople, you need to mirror this energy level with a louder voice and faster pace.

Leaders’ emotions are contagious to others. If a leader is nervous, others will feel uncomfortable. This is why it is so important that leaders have authentic confidence, while presenting, while having conversations, and in all situations.

a. What makes some executives ‘Exceptional’ communicators and others not so?

Executives who are exceptional communicators (and are seen as others to be charismatic) have strong empathy and listening skills. Their empathy allows them to take the emotional temperature of their colleagues, employees, and customers, and respond accordingly. Confident leaders recognize when others are uncomfortable or apprehensive and then ask questions to truly understand the issues. They are able to then help to create real resolutions rather than band-aid solutions.

In order to have and use empathy skills, you must possess an interest and curiosity in others as well as a desire to help them maximize their potential. Without empathy, people feel you don’t “get” them and then they resist your influence. Empathy puts you on the same page, makes others feel understood, and makes others want to listen to you and follow your ideas.

Empathy relates to charisma because we perceive people to be charismatic based on how they make us feel. If we feel that they’re genuinely curious and interested in us, our perception of their charisma goes up. When people lack confidence, it is more difficult for them to be empathic and listen well because they will be in their own heads, thinking of what they are going to say next, and trying to appear confident to make up for how they truly feel.

What are some tips for overcoming fear and gaining confidence to speak to groups (especially for those who are now involved only with one-on-one counseling or consulting)?

The cliché is true that the more you do it, the easier it gets, but there are some additional factors to consider. First, you want to get practice speaking in low-stakes situations. This means that the audience and the result of the speaking engagement are not particularly important to you. Groups like Toastmasters can be very helpful for this.

Second, you want to get comfortable with the people in your audience before your talk. One of my favorite ways to do this is to mingle with people as they come in or stand by the door and great them.

Third, you want to feel confident that you are delivering helpful relevant value to your audience. Learn as much as you can about their needs and their goals for your talk ahead of time. Speak to the meeting planner, survey members of your potential audience, and research the group so you know what style of presentation (formal, interactive, etc.) works best for them.

How can baby boomers who are considering their next career move bring their previous experience into new leadership situations?

It’s interesting because a lot of the most important skills to be an exceptional leader are not the skills that most people think of as leadership per se. Instead, they are characteristics of emotional intelligence, things like empathy, listening skills, organizational awareness (understanding the big picture and vision of the organization as well as politics), confidence, and emotional regulation (keeping appropriately calm or energized no matter what the situation.

I encourage leaders to take inventory of their experience with aspects such as these. Ideally they not only write down their own views but gain feedback from others, either with 360-degree feedback or other forms of collecting data (ideally, anonymously for maximum honesty).

In taking your own inventory, first become aware of your strengths. Do this by writing down your key accomplishments and accolades in your career. Then take note of what underlying characteristic the achievement exemplified or built.

For example, “In my sales role, I achieved the highest sales in our region.” This achievement was due to natural strengths in listening to people and understanding where they’re coming from (empathy and influence). This achievement developed my self-awareness and emotional regulation by dealing with high-pressure sales situations.

Most emotional intelligence skills can be learned. We’re all stronger in some areas than others and we want to capitalize on our strengths as well as develop the areas that are important in our leadership roles.

How can we find out more about becoming confident leaders?

My new book The Confident Leader: How the Most Successful People Go from Effective to Exceptional provides a 6-step formula for taking on key challenges, making difficult decisions, and navigating outside your comfort zone.

The second half applies the formula to key business areas such as staying focused and motivated, marketing yourself, standing out, and dealing with difficult people. It includes interviews with business leaders such as Seth Godin, Tim Sanders, and Joe Vitale. Learn more and get bonus offerings for business owners at http://www.ConfidentLeaderBook.com

I'm Torn

jfrank03 — 2008-10-17T12:07:23-04:00

I'm not one to mix politics and business but I can't keep quiet about a subject that is hitting a nerve during this election - working mothers. Regardless of your opinion of Sarah Palin, there is no doubt that she is indeed a working mother.

Too much discussion is going on about whether she, as a mother of five and with a special needs child, should be the Vice Presidential running mate. I'm appalled. A woman's choice to work is her own. No one has the right to tell her that she should stay home and raise a family. And those who try obviously don't understand the intrinsic drive that pushes a person to excel professionally. That drive won't just go away if you trade business meetings for play dates.

Being a working mom doesn't make you a bad mom nor does it mean that you love your children any less. Having a career and a family are not mutually exclusive - you can do both successfully. Working mothers should never have to justify their desire for a career. So much for progress.

For those of you who desire to have a successful career, in addition to a family, check out this week's article - Top 10 Steps to Catapult your Career up the Corporate Ladder. This is the first article I ever wrote - it's short, sweet and to the point.

Top 10 Steps to Catapult your Career up the Corporate Ladder

jfrank03 — 2008-10-17T12:05:05-04:00

Every career success story is unique. While there isn’t a magic answer for taking your career to the top, following these ten steps will get you headed up the corporate ladder.

Reassess your career. Is your career path well aligned with your priorities and interest? Do you posses, or can you acquire, the experience and education to be successful? If not, consider a lateral move and work your way up from there.

Clearly define your career goals. Only when you know exactly where it is you want to go, will you be able to map out your plan to get there.

Create a development plan. Determine the steps you need to take for your next promotion. Include resources and due dates. Schedule these activities in your planner and follow through.

Communicate your career goals with management. If you work in an organization that promotes employee development, communicate your goals with your manager and ask for his or her support. If you are concerned about resistance, find a mentor within the organization that you can trust.

Volunteer to spearhead a new project. This shows initiative, puts you in a visible position, and builds new skills. It also gives you the opportunity to showcase your leadership skills.

Stay current in your field. Read industry publications and reports. Be aware of changing trends and position yourself accordingly.

Take classes or obtain a certification. Use your industry knowledge to your advantage. Take a course in an up and coming area or a specialty that will benefit your organization and give you an edge over the competition.

Assume a leadership role. Offer to mentor a junior associate in your organization, apply for a position on a local board, or chair a committee for a nonprofit organization.

Network, Network, Network. Within your organization and within the community. Increasing your visibility and gaining contacts are vital to your success when climbing the corporate ladder. No one ever got to the top alone.

Excel in your current position. Exceptional performance speaks for itself. You won’t get ahead with mediocre performance, regardless of how many other steps you implement.

Are you ready to put your career on the fast-track? Learn how to go from cubicle to corner office with my guide, 8 Simple Steps. It's available as an instant download so you can start planning your next promotion today.

I have a confession...

jfrank03 — 2008-10-16T14:20:20-04:00

I love prime time t.v. - sitcoms and dramas are my favorite. Forget reality shows, I watch t.v. to get away from reality. Besides, how realistic is it to have a deeply personal conversation with your best friend while an entire crew is watching?

One of my new favorite shows is "The New Adventures of Old Christine" with Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Her character will make any woman feel better about herself - plus she is hilarious!

Last night's episode was on a topic that every working mother can relate to - guilt. To much to do and not enough time. On top of it all, she misses the deadline to sign her son up for the reptile club and agrees to a date with the creepy reptile guy so he'll bend the rules.

Guilt is a powerful emotion, especially for mothers. It can make you do things you wouldn't normally do. Cross lines that you wouldn't normally cross. Anything to avoid disappointing your children.

How far have you gone to alleviate your guilt?

Last Day to Register

jfrank03 — 2008-09-22T13:39:26-04:00

Just a quick reminder that today, Monday, September 22nd is the last day to register for the Working Mother's Private Client Group, "Control the Chaos."

If you are a working mother who is tired of being controlled by her circumstances and is ready to successfully juggle both family and career, I encourage you to register quickly. I won't offer this program again until 2009.

Life was meant to be enjoyed, not rushed through at breakneck speed. If you spend more time worrying than you do living, this program is perfect for you. We'll determine what is keeping you up at night and implement systems and routines to support your unique situation so you have time to enjoy life again.

Are you ready? Go here to get the details and register!

Many mothers prefer being at work

jfrank03 — 2008-09-17T17:07:35-04:00

Did you know that many mothers actually prefer being at work to being at home? If you are quietly nodding your head 'yes' and are plagued by guilt about your preference for work, it's time to get over it. You are NOT the only mom who feels this way and there's a very simple explanation for it.

You see, when we are at work, we are in a controlled environment with other adults who are much easier to relate to than children. You're probably good at what you do and you feel successful. After all, most of us have been in the workforce longer than we've been mothers.

Then you get home and it is pure chaos. You have to cook, clean up, make sure homework gets done, run from one activity to another, and then get the kids bathed and in bed. You are doing much more than should be expected of one person and when you can't, you feel like a failure. Is it any wonder why you would prefer being at work?

Imagine if your life was like this...

- Your to do list is half of what it once was.

- You actually enjoy the time you spend with your kids.

- You guiltlessly make time for the things that are important to you.

- You feel empowered - you are successfully juggling your family and your career and neither has to be sacrificed.

- The chaos that remains is managed. It's part of the excitement of life, it's what makes us glad to get up and get moving every morning.

Just like kids, being a working mom didn't come with a manual - until now, that is! If you are ready to Control the Chaos, I invite you to join me and nine like-minded women starting September 24^thfor the Working Mother's Private Client Group. Go here to get the details and register!

***Private Coaching Bonus Ends Today***

I made a mistake. Under the original 10-week format, I was offering three private coaching sessions. When I redesigned the program, my intention was to change the bonus to one private strategy session but I forgot. Since I advertised the bonus as three sessions, I feel that I should honor it.

This means that if you register before midnight (ET) Wednesday, September 17^th, you will receive three private coaching sessions with me in addition to the four weeks of classes and offline support for only $197 (a payment plan is available). But, you have to be one of the first ten participants registered by midnight tonight to be eligible for the bonus - no exceptions. I promise, I won't offer this bonus again!

Grab your spot here!

The newly redesigned, Working Mother's Private Client Group starts September 24th!

jfrank03 — 2008-09-09T14:02:45-04:00

The Working Mother's Private Client Group is now two, four-week classes, easily fitting into a busy working mom's schedule. The first section starting on the 24th is "Control the Chaos." The second second section, "Regain Your Power," will begin in January.

Stage One: Control the Chaos

Before you can achieve the success you are striving for, you have to control the chaos. This 4-week class will walk you through the following steps so that you can effortlessly juggle everything you have to do and still have time for the things you want to do:

Week 1: Identifying Your Immediate Priorities

Week 2: Fitting It All in– Time for Family, Career, and YOU

Week 3: Organizing to Get the Most Out of Your Time

Week 4: Is Your Career Sabotaging Your Life? How to get off a destructive path and find the

solution that is best for you and your family.

Am I right for this class?

This class isn’t the answer for everyone and that’s ok. It won’t benefit you, the other participants or me if you are part of a group that isn’t a good fit. I’m looking to create a dynamic group of ten moms who are ready achieve massive results. This is my idea of a mom who is a “good fit” for this class:

· She endures more stress than is comfortable.

· She feels torn between what is good for her family and what is good for herself and her career leading to feelings of guilt regardless of the path she takes.

· Her confidence isn’t what it used to be and she finds herself second-guessing even the smallest decisions she has to make.

· She is a go-getter, which sometimes gets her into trouble as she tends to take on too much (this is an asset – I swear. You just have to learn how to channel your initiative!).

· She is tired of being controlled by the circumstances surrounding her and is ready to regain her power as a woman, a professional and a mother – even if it means trying something new.

Does this sound like you? If so, I encourage you to join me and nine like-minded women starting September 24^th for a not-so-ordinary class. I am a huge proponent of groups because I’ve seen how effective they are, especially for women. My role is to give you the guidance and support you need to make positive changes and to help generate synergy within the group. When this happens, a little effort on everyone’s part will have a much greater impact than if you were to do it alone.

I won’t lecture for an hour and then assign homework for the following week. You’ll receive your course materials prior to the class to review – a quick read, no more than ten or fifteen minutes – and we’ll spend our time together brainstorming solutions to specific issues (there is always an answer, even if you haven’t thought of it yet!), giving and receiving support, celebrating our victories, and creating supportive relationships that can continue beyond the class.

You will have all of the support you need to make lasting changes (for a list of everything that is included, visit the PCG page) Plus, if you register before Wednesday, September 17^th, you’ll receive two bonuses and a payment plan option designed specifically for working moms.

Go here to get the details and register!

Who am I?

jfrank03 — 2008-09-04T11:31:56-04:00

Who am I? Seems like a simple question, right? I'm reading a book that asked that this simple, innocuous question, and being the good little doobie that I am, I paused to answer it. I'm a woman, a wife and mother, a daughter, friend, consultant - STOP.

This is not who I am, it's who I've become - the roles I've assumed.

Back to the question, "who am I?" Pause. More pause. Maybe it's not as simple as I first thought, but I know the answer - just give me a minute. I start to look at myself through someone else's eyes and realize that it won't be accurate, my vision is the one that counts.

Finally I begin to see the person that I am, the person I've always been.

I'm funny, in a wickedly sarcastic kind of way.

I'm persistent, there is an answer and I will figure it out.

I'm a big picture person, please don't ask me to balance my checkbook.

I'm smart even though I usually can't answer more than one question on Jeopardy!

I'm loving and kind and generous (think labradoodle).

I'm fiercely protective of everything I love; people, things, and ideas (think pit bull).

I can keep up a mental conversation with myself throughout the day but I can't make small talk at a party.

I'm flawed (ouch).

Yes, I'm flawed and rather than pretend that I'm not, I embrace my flaws and I will not apologize. They make me who I am. They give me personality, even if it is quirky and irreverent.

Your turn. Give it a shot, it's freeing. Who are you?

Working Mom Video

jfrank03 — 2008-08-27T10:01:06-04:00

As working moms move into one of their "busier" times of the year, take a minute to watch this video and remember that you are not alone!