The F Plus

I've Also Got An Idea For A Reboot Of Young Guns

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Sun, 12 May 2013 11:50:12 CST

With operating budgets starting in the millions of dollars, the American Motion Picture is not an art form prone to risk or innovation. As the internet democratizes art, fresh ideas can come from anywhere. Take, for example, the website FilmProposals.com, where people write down poorly considered movie ideas to an audience of nobody for no reason whatsoever. Could this change the face of Hollywood? Sure, why not? This week, sex will be had (like it or not). Show notes available at thefpl.us

I Hope My Baby Never Evolves

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Sun, 14 Apr 2013 11:00:12 CST

Many people would agree that monkeys, by and large, are pretty cute. This is why they make popular zoo attractions, popular designs on t-shirts, and popular themes in nursery gear. Because we like looking at monkeys, they're a lot like us. But not so much like us that we'd consider adopting one and raising it like it was our own child. Well... most of us wouldn't do that. Show notes available at thefpl.us

Mr. Gandolfini? We Have A Few Rewrites.

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Mon, 08 Apr 2013 11:00:12 CST

The F Plus has spent a number of years exploring odd areas of the internet in order to present you with material you might find thought provoking, interesting, horrifying, or otherwise upsetting to your worldview. Sometimes. We sometimes do that. Other times we find crappy fanfiction and read it derisively. This week, The F Plus has forgotten what The F Plus did with all the prounouns The F Plus had. Show notes available at thefpl.us

Can't Say I Approve Of These Methods, Mister Holmes

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Sun, 31 Mar 2013 11:30:12 CST

For over a hundred years, the character of Sherlock Holmes has been an inescapable touchstone of Western Culture. The subject of sixty stories written by Arthur Conan Doyle has led to more radio, television film and stage adaptations than even Wikipedia would care to document, and you might say that since those original stories were published, these producers have been making fanfiction. However, it wasn't until the 2010 BBC series that the fanfiction became as creepy as it could be. This week, The F Plus finally figures out spooning. Show notes available at thefpl.us

Even Nonsense

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Wed, 26 Mar 2013 10:30:12 CST

"Culture" is a tricky word, but it best describes our modern popular arts and entertainment, regardless of quality. When it comes to music, the disposable profit-motivated pop music released over the past 60 years has done far more to influence our way of life than the hundreds of years of finely crafted art before it. Maybe this is a condemnation of the direction humanity has taken, or maybe it's that it's way more fun to listen to "Shoop" than it is to read Leaves of Grass. But have you ever taken a moment to consider who was really responsible for all of this? Because it turns out it's just some lady with a blog. This week, we're writing the definitive Nirvana biopic. Show notes available at thefpl.us

HOCUS BOGUS!

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Tue, 18 Mar 2013 10:30:12 CST

Here's the thing about our AllRecipes episodes: Sure they're stupid, but food actually exists. Welcome to SpellsofMagic.com, a place where you go in knowing that you'll be reading instructions on how to cast magic spells and yet you're still surprised by the poor writing abilities. This week, if you take this podcast as a joke you'll have to restart life. Show notes available at thefpl.us

Why Crush A Bug When You Can Ruin It Emotionally

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Tue, 04 Mar 2013 10:30:45 CST

This is an episode all about people who are sexually aroused by insects touching their genitals. So if you hit play, that's your business. Show notes available at thefpl.us

I'm Really More Of An Idea Guy

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Fri, 15 Feb 2013 01:10:42 CST

Politicians would insist that American ingenuity is the reason for American exceptionalism. They are, of course, lying. All it really takes to be exceptional is the belief that you are exceptional, everything else is just details. Fortunately for the subjects of tonite’s episode (the members of InventorSpot and AHHHA) details aren’t important. They have an idea. They haven’t given it any thought, they won’t give it any effort, and it’s not a good idea in the first place, but they have an idea. This week, pay attention or it's the naughty chair again. Show notes available at thefpl.us

[SHORT] Braking Bad: Allens Attack

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Sat, 02 Feb 2013 15:10:42 CST

While recording unrelated content, we stumbled across this story, and we did what comes naturally to a young man.

I Can't Put Up With You People Because You're Bastard People

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Sat, 02 Feb 2013 12:11:42 CST

The last dozen years of internet development has brought avenues of conversation we wouldn't have thought possible in the previous dozen. And yet, through all of this, is there any place at all where ill-informed idiots can gather together and spew pointless hate about random subjects? The answer of course is yes, there is all sorts of places where that exact thing happens. And yet, it wasn't until JustRage.com that anyone actually thought that would be a valid thing for a website to specialize in. This week, you get drunk, you skip school, just have sex already. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

We Don't Not Need No Uneducation

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Mon, 21 Jan 2013 01:00:00 CST

Parenting, as many have said, is a difficult task. But it's a task that's made significantly simpler if you just decide you'll let your children do whatever they want. We're exploring the forums of mothering.com, a place where mothers can gather to discuss raising the single most brilliant and unique person the world has ever known, but it turns out there's quite a few of them. This week, we're stocking up on Placenta Helper. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Boy, You Fellas Sure Hate Your Frenulums

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Tue, 01 Jan 2013 11:00:00 CST

There's around 7 billion living human bodies on this Earth, and while there's some general variance between them, you'll find a lot of similarities. And the members of bodymod.org finds this all dreadfully boring. Theirs is a place where people can gather to discuss doing terrible things to their flesh with other people who won't try to talk them out of it. This week, you're gonna wish we had anesthetic. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Season's Greetings

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Sat, 22 Dec 2012 03:00:00 EST

Bunnybread made this just for you.

The Remainder Of My Time Will Be A Series Of Grunts

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Sun, 16 Dec 2012 08:00 GMT

The opening sentence on debate.org describes the site as a "community where intelligent minds from around the world come to debate online and read the opinions of others." We decided this needed looking into, on the assumption that any website which would brag about the intellectual level of its debates might be fooling itself. What we found was a mish-mash of poorly reasoned arguments, pointless mental excercizes, and flat out stupidity. This week, The F Plus discovers if Justin Bieber is cute or not. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Angry Angry Hippos

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Mon, 10 Dec 2012 09:00 GMT

Human beings come in a myriad of shapes and sizes, and the enlightened among us would say that this is all perfectly fine. While there may be difficulties or handicaps or struggles with having or striving for certain body types, it is up to each person to find comfort in a life they choose for themselves. Again, this is the enlightened opinion. There's also the opinions of angry idiots on the internet, who loudly shriek that drawing a correlation between weight and health is equivalent to committing a hate crime. This may surprise you, but we're spending time with the latter. This week, The F Plus gets mad at corporate skinny cats. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

I Can See Your Retch Marks

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Mon, 03 Dec 2012 08:00 GMT

It should be no surprise to any of you that a reasonable percentage of the population finds the female breast aesthetically pleasing. There are all sorts of scientific and emotional reasons for this, but some tastes can develop from there. Many would prefer that they have a certain girth but (much to the dismay of Coco T), many will also agree that there is such a thing as "too big". The writers in this episode, all of whom belong to the website TheOverflowingBra.com, would argue that breasts can't be "too big" unless the Earth fails to contain them, and then only just. This week, The F Plus delivers our one week payload. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

So, Clearly You All Hate Us

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Thu, 29 Nov 2012 07:30 GMT

A little while ago, we opened it up to you, The F Plus listeners, to provide us with some of the most intensely absurd material we could find. Then we had troubles releasing episodes regularly, but the two are unrelated. The point is, since we sounded the alarm for content submissions, we have been inundated with crazy, and it has been a wonderful experience. To celebrate this, we've put together an episode of three strange listener submissions with no discernable connection, just, you know, for fun. This week, we introduce Jenny J Jay Number J. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

All RFIDs In Me

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Thu, 15 Nov 2012 10:00 GMT

Hypothesis, thesis, antithesis. It's those three words that distill the Scientific Method. A way of thinking that has brought our society the majority of the gifts given to itself over the last thousand years. But some people (mainly from the Southern US, to be frank) have decried this methodology, believing it unknowable when an inkling becomes a theory. This is all just as well, because the folks over at Godlike Productions have come up with a new crucible: Go to a hideous website, explain your theory to uncaring nitwits, and if you still believe what you think by the time the thread dies, your statement is fact. This week, The F Plus all have our hands on our vaginas. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Drowning In A Bucket of Words

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Tue, 06 Nov 2012 11:00 GMT

Here is some poetry. It is butt. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Elisha Cuthbert Has To Pee Sometimes

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Thu, 18 Oct 2012 08:00 GMT

Explaining his methodology for creating tension in his films, Alfred Hitchcock said "There is no terror in the bang, only in the anticipation of it." This sums up the fetish of our subjects quite well, as long as you substitute "the bang" with "peeing". And substitute "terror" with "boner". And... well, you should probably misspell all the other words just to make it thematically appropriate. In this episode, we're looking at the writings of omoroshi fetishists - persons whom (for reasons known only to themselves) the idea of needing to pee is super duper hot. This week, you'll grit your death in agony. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Just The 160,000 Of Us

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Sat, 13 Oct 2012 08:00 GMT

Some people believe that it's poor form to make fun of people with legitimate mental issues. We have a slightly different ethical stance on the matter, mostly centered around the fact that Connie Marshall makes us all giggle. But anyway, if you were to have this standard, where would you draw the line? If people with schizophrenia are off-limits, what about people who don't have schizophrenia, but pretend like they do? Wouldn't that just be a different kind of mental disorder? And if those people were banging on about how they're being persecuted by the "singlets", wouldn't that drain any compassion you might otherwise feel? To test all of these, we're exploring Multiple Systems - a complicated architecture drawn by people whose brains are basically a television with a hyperactive remote. This week, we're running out of voodka. Some content for this episode was provided by VK. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

I Sink I Love You

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Tue, 02 Oct 2012 08:00 GMT

As third wave feminism took hold in the 1990's, popular culture found themselves once again looking at the power dynamics of sexuality. Could a woman be strong and independent while still bandying around words like "slut"? Perhaps. Can people live self-actualized lives and still secretly crave a certain sense of helplessness and longing for the strength of another? Probably. Is this a terrible summary for an episode that's all about ladies getting stuck in quicksand? Undoubtedly. We're exploring QuicksandFans.com - a site for people who really like to think about other people getting stuck in preposterous situations only slightly less embarassing than Mitt Romney's current campaign. This week, the F Plus learns the correct way to measure how much room there is in your bog. Content for this episode was provided by Chaz Gelf. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Fear and Loathing of Las Chicas

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Thu, 30 Aug 2012 09:00 GMT

As each generation ages, it looks back on the mistakes of generations before and tries to make changes. As a result, the status and politics of gender are in constant upheaval, as men and women are constantly redefining what it means to be a member of their sex. Learned sociologists have explored what it is to be a man, and our subject for this episode is not one of them. Instead, we're reading the musings of Michael Byc. He considers himself an alpha male as well as a writer, though we're left to guess which of these two things he thinks he's better at. This week, we're all wearing sandals. This episode was suggested by Montrith. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Disliking This Episode Is A Form of Harassment

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Fri, 17 Aug 2012 09:00 GMT

A civilized society is a society of laws, but problems may occur when brilliant and cunning individuals find ways to circumvent the spirit of a law while adhering cynically to its letter. Our subject for this episode, Jonathan Lee Riches, is neither brilliant nor cunning, and it was his many thousand daliances with the legal community that got him a fair amount of gawker attention, and nothing much else. Can one man bring down the entire legal system just by filing frivolous lawsuits. Nope, seems like he can't, but that won't make him stop trying. This week, various buddhist monks finally get what's coming to them. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Help Me Help Rob Help You

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Fri, 27 Jul 2012 03:00 GMT

Like any modern internet citizens, we mourn the loss of AskJeeves.com. Back in its heyday, you could ask Jeeves any question, and the software would provide a response. Okay, sure - the response that Jeeves would give would have nothing to do with your question, and would instead try to point you to the website of its sponsor, but at least it was comforting that whatever your question was, Jeeves felt he has an answer. As it happens, over at the website eHelp.com, there's a similar situation. Except instead of poorly written alogrithm that randomly selects a sponsor, eHelp has one guy, or maybe it's a parrot. Anyway, you'll find out when you listen. This week, The F Plus learns if slavery was a good or a bad thing. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

The Devil Went Down To Tumblr

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Thu, 26 Jul 2012 03:00 GMT

As the debate about the United States being a Christian Nation(TM) rages on (mostly in the form of poorly conceived Chick-Fil-A marketing efforts), we at The F Plus (excluding its leader, who spent the week on other pursuits) found ourselves wondering: What is the truest vision of Hell, and is Brokencyde making records there? Fortunately for us all, Tumblr exists, and if there ever was a more informative website than Tumblr, I haven't seen it. Full disclosure: The writer of this summary has only ever seen Tumblr and CatsThatLookLikeHitler.com. This week, The F Plus has a coupon for half of any sandwich energy. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Go Get 'Em, Tiger

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 16:00 GMT

In the four years that we've been cataloging the stranger parts of the Internet in podcast form, we've been asked why we've never done anything with furries. The issue mainly relies on the expansiveness of this subject - with the sheer amount of furries and furry-related shenanigans on the internet, along with the fact that most internet-savvy people at least have some passing knowledge of what a furry is, we need to be selective in our focus. Fortunately, Zeis introduced us to Pounced.Org - a furry dating website similar to okCupid, but with far more use of the term "diaperfur". This week, The F Plus develops a clothes-wearing fetish. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Today's Progress Was Yesterday's Form Field

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Sat, 09 Jun 2012 05:00 GMT

In the run up to the 2008 American election, Barack Obama told the world that "We are the change we seek." And now, as we reflect on our discontent with the status quo of tax policies, drone strikes, prisoners held indefinitely, and general apathy, we may realize that maybe we weren't looking for us at all. Real change is gonna come from the internet, in the form of asinine and pointless online petitions. We're looking at Change.org and PetitionOnline.com, two sites where your voice can be heard, but it will still be marble-mouthed and pubescent. This week, who wants to get high? Go Islanders! Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

If I Could Turn Back Time, I'd Still Chop You In Half

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Fri, 01 Jun 2012 06:00 GMT

WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange taught us a couple things about the world we live in. Firstly, it turns out that Steve Martin's hair may actually just be that color. But only slightly less shocking is the relevation that our government is keeping secrets from us. Millions of secrets! And yeah, some of them might involve the United States bombing our own journalists, but the folks at Above Top Secret have unraveled even deeper mysteries. Did you know that you can jump higher during the night time? It's true! Just don't bother testing that empirically because the Government will probably falsify your records. This week, The F Plus is breaking the laws of thermodynamics. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Our Love Doesn't Need A Third Dimension

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Sun, 20 May 2012 22:00 GMT

An independent artist and Jell-O spokeswoman once said "Love is a battlefield". She then said "love is a battlefield" many more times, because it was part of the chorus of her hit single, and if you don't sing the hits, the guys that run the state fairs don't give you the money. Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yes, love. It's a difficult topic, fraught with pain, heartbreak and uncertainty. Just because you love someone, does that mean she'll love you back? Well, if the object of your affection is a fictional cartoon character, the answer is always no, and among Otaku, that means yes. We're reading the thoughts of people in love with cartoon characters, and their love is just as real as their love for their last girlfriend. You don't know her. She lives in Canada. This week, The F Plus gets a busy signal trying to call the 3-D Police Department. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

I Can Do Dream Analysis In My Sleep

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Thu, 10 May 2012 07:00 GMT

For man to be truly aware of himself, he must explore his own mind. To examine your own thoughts, wants and failures and growing on the things you've learned is the way to thrive; to be a member of an evolving species who looks toward the horizon and takes a step forward. But what of dreams, those manifestations of your subconscious that you canot sieze control of? With an expression so disjointed and free of rational throught, can a dream really ever be understood? Well, if you're a member of dreammoods.com, sure! All you gotta do is start typing. This week, The F Plus is just waiting for Varzandeh to show up. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Commissioner Gordon's Back Up Plan

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Wed, 02 May 2012 01:00 GMT

Popular media seems to get no end of pleasure in exploring the day to day drudgery of characters who belong in a comic book universe. For those superheroes and supervillians, their life is so absurd that there is very little relatability of those characters to people living in the real world. But then thanks to online RPGs like City of Heroes and Champions Online, anyone with an internet connection and a love for paying fees can create their own superhero and live in a world populated exclusively by other characters who also have stupid skillsets. For the first of our Race For Ridiculism Showcase Episodes, Cleretic will be bringing us to this world, and forgetting to pack enough moist towelettes. This week, buy one glimp and get one free! Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Amazon Recommends Years of Therapy

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Wed, 11 Apr 2012 16:00 GMT

Respected authors and lifelong readers hold differing opinion on the benefits of the Kindle. While some bemoan the loss of the tactile pleasures of a good novel, others feel an e-book is a purer manifestation of the written word. Of course, their debate is an irrelevancy. Human society never backs away from a technology for romantic reasons and those who want to do so are usually being nostalgic just because they enjoy being nostalgic. Plus, most people are just reading porn on those things anyway. This week, The F Plus tries to return our inflatable dog. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

The Ace and Cakes

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Thu, 5 Apr 2012 05:15 GMT

Hoosier biologist and unbelievable superpervert Alfred Kinsey believed that human sexual proclivities could all be charted on a seven point scale, from fully hetero to fully homo. Further, he attested that the majority of the species drifted towards the middle - in a grey area between gay and straight. But there's an oft-forgotten classification in this scale of sexuality, and that is for people who are completely dismissive of the whole affair altogether. I'm talking about the asexuals - people so unconcerned with sexual pursuits that they are free to spend their time more wisely - like telling the internet how unconcerned they are with sexual pursuits. This week, The F Plus doesn't even know what you're talking about. No really! Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Wesley Crusher: Teenage F*** Machine [An Audiobook]

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Sat, 31 Mar 2012 02:15 GMT

One of our favorite sites, Regretsy, recently featured this Kindle-only novella by Kitty Glitter (author of Sherlock Holmes: A Case of Dicklessness and The Feline Puerto Rican), and fame immediately followed. The book made its way to the Kindle Top 20 list, Kitty Glitter collected a king's ransom for his efforts, and then the inevitable happened. This very much unlicensed and damging piece of fanfiction was removed from Amazon, and we all feared Wesley Crusher's erotic tale was never to be told again. We had to intervene. What we present to you here is Kitty Glitter's Wesley Crusher: Teenage F*** Machine, in full, without asides or commentary. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

The State of the Micronation Is Strong

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 01:00 GMT

As politcal rhetoric becomes increasingly rancorous and the division between politcal ideals divides wider so that no plausible middle ground can be reached, there are some people out there that feel that existing within a pre-established democracy just isn't going to work out, and that it's probably better to just start a new country from scratch. For all of these people, from the founders of Sealand to Sarah Palin's husband to those Libertarians in the 80's who got invaded by Tonga, results have been fairly discouraging. However, none of those people have ever made their own wiki site to explain their pitch, so things are probably looking up for the Federated Commonwealth of Malatora. This week, The F Plus learns that existence is futile. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

The Episode Is Coming From Inside Your House!

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Wed, 29 Feb 2012 02:00 GMT

The psychology and thematic considerations of "What Makes For Good Horror?" is something often discussed at length by people you probably don't want to associate yourself with. Obviously they may argue amongst themselves over minutae, but will usually cite a construction of tension, a feeling of malevolence, a spirit of helplessness, and no fewer than six bare breasts as the essential elements for finely constructed, timeless horror. The stories contained within this episode have none of these things, relying instead on grammatical errors and poor plot construction for a different feeling of unease entirely. This week, she melted. Seriously: she melted! Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Where Can I Find A Tailor For These Pinstripe Balls?

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 12:00 GMT

For as long as man has had conscious thought, he has thought about sex, and this has certainly been reflected in his literary themes. From the literate but hypermasculine rememberances of Henry Miller's Tropic of Cancer, to the literate but impishly comedic creations of Voltaire's Candide to the not-at-all literate nor interesting fap material in John Cleland's Fanny Hill, erotic writing has had a storied history inside the pages of legitimate fiction. But fortunately, the English published Literary Review has helpfully highlighted some of the least impressive examples for us to lend our voices to. This week, the F Plus is on top of you, Skinner. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

As Normal As The Cosby Show (with Ted Kaczynski)

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Thu, 9 Feb 2012 05:00 GMT

The modern world is one of isolation. As citizens of The First World, we are increasingly given license to socialize with whom we want, experience the things we choose, and create communities where we notice one lacking. As this happens, the concept of the status quo fades into a more abstract concept, and people start to wonder if they're normal being who they are. Looking for guidence, they turn to the internet, which is problematic because asking the internet what's normal is like.... asking the internet what's normal. If there's a better corollary I haven't thought of it. This week, The F Plus discovers new ways to take peyote. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

God Bless You, Water Woman

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Wed, 1 Feb 2012 02:00 GMT

The Sasquatch (or "Bigfoot", if you're prone to epithets) is a large ape-like creature which typically finds its home in the Pacific Northwest where it somethimes poses for blurry photographs. Also it can read and write. Also it has sixth sense. Also it exists both in our world and in another dimension which has neither shape nor form. Also it lives among The Star People. Also it can teleport. Also it can shape shift. Also it actually exists. Look, the point here is that dolphin expert Joan Ocean has a website which introduced all to the beauty of nature, and now we want to teach others about it. This week, The F Plus starts to apologize for that long hiatus. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Ignorance of the Law Is My Excuse

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 21:00 GMT

There's a number of laws we all understand: Murder is illegal pretty much everywhere, as is theft and assault. We all recognize that, but then there's always gray areas. Does a schoolyard fight count as assault? Is it truly theft is it's not a physical object? And is murder justified if the person you just killed was talking about how funny last week's Big Bang Theory was? Legal experts have a difference of opinion, and as a country ages, laws get more and more complex. The finer points become less clear to the country's citizens, in particular the citzens who are also idiots. This week, The F Plus makes a protein shake with iguana meat. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Mission Acquired: Hack Some Guy's E-Mail

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 21:00 GMT

There's a few episodes in the middle of the editing process right now, but meanwhile here's a five minute reading of an actual e-mail exchange that Lemon was involved with recently.

Achtung! Adult Babies!

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 21:00 GMT

Growing up is hard. There's plenty of fiction centered around the frustration of adolescence, even more fiction on the malaise of adulthood, and then it's death after that. Wouldn't it be nice to just be a baby forever? Well, no - obviously it wouldn't. None of us remember our time as an infant, but clearly being mute, frail and covered in your own waste cannot be the most intellectually stimulating time of your life. But then, there's those that think that all sounds pretty good, especially if they can have sex while they're at it. This week, The F Plus wonders if adult babies are grosser than Bad Dragon customers. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

The Private Language of Sinéad O'Connor

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 21:50 GMT

Celebrity is a powerful but complicated status to keep on yourself. Some achieve by accident, some achieve by will, but then suddenly twenty years have gone by and you realize the ticket sales aren't what they used to be. Take Sinéad O'Connor for example. Responsible for a double platinum album in 1990 and the center of the biggest SNL scandal since John Belushi invited Fear on stage, now we're nearing the end of 2011, and she still wants you to know she's in the mix. This week, The F Plus learns a little something about lurrve. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Any Cling You Want (You Got It)

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 02:00 GMT

We've been doing The F Plus podcast for a couple years now, so it's actually kind of an oversight on our part that we've never read stories about Roy Orbison. Or, more specifically, stories about Roy Orbison being completely wrapped up in clingfilm. Honestly, I can't imagine how we've avoided the subject for so long. This week, The F Plus finally experiences the greatest pleasure man has ever known. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

F PLUS LIVE 2 - Part II: 10,000 Ways To Subconsciously Talk Dirty To The Sexual Gods Attacking You

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 22:01 GMT

NOTE: THIS VERSION HAS FIXED AUDIO. PLEASE DELETE THE OTHER FILE. Part Two of F Plus Live starts out a little dirty, but eventually we wipe up the floor. In Lemon's Craft Corner, our podcast host comes out and teaches you how to make your own sex toys at home. Jimmyfranks teaches everybody the fine art of erotic conversation, before realizing the audience can do a better job themselves. bumpgrrl repeats some key phrases and ideas until people start buying her drinks. Lemon comes back to the stage to handle the works of a prolific author who has reached sexual godhood. Portaxx covers 3 or 4 ways to say I Love You that don't involve food products. Finally, Isfahan teaches you the way to deal with violent attackers that is absolutely guaranteed..so long as the attackers aren't violent. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

F PLUS LIVE 2 - Part I: The Situation of Anal Voodoo and the Secret of the Bouncing Eyes

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 04:04 GMT

Part One of F Plus Live covers a variety of self-help topics, all of them silly and useless. Kumquatxop gives a plethora of fashion and toiletry advice before explaining the hidden beauty of the fistpump. Boots Raingear advises anal constricting and navel denting to repair your immaterial fiber. Jack Chick teaches us that the real secret of voodoo is irritating pop culture references. STOG teaches us to love water and stay off the disappointment frequency, and John wants us all to learn how to bounce our eyes each and every time a sexy lady does something lewd in front of you, like answering the telephone. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

F PLUS LIVE 2 - The Cartoon: Internet Computer

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 04:03 GMT

Before the break, we premiered Portaxx's cartoon "Internet Computer", based on audio taken from an early episode. If you haven't yet watched seen this cartoon, it's high time you fixed that deficiency in your life. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

F PLUS LIVE 2 - The Slideshow: The Jaz A. Portaxx School of Art-Type Things

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 04:02 GMT

As we came back from the break, Portaxx took a book she found about drawing manga (titled, appropriately enough, Draw Manga), and used the information contained therein to turn everyone in attendance into visual artists. Either that or we mocked the book's creator. You be the judge, I guess. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

SHORT: The Otakindude Journal

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 08:00 GMT

This is the last in our series of shorts for a little while, while we get the F Plus Live audio prepped for public consumption. This is a six minute short originally recorded during episode 42 (The Childfree Hardcore Episode). In the episode, we had read a little piece from a guy named Otakindude, who was angry because he was too fat to be Henry. After reading his tirade, we found his livejournal, which is what we're reading here. What's Otakindude's religion? And how did he discover his vampire powers? You're about to find out! Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

The Mix'd Nuts VS Tha Meetballz

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 03:30 GMT

So, what we have here doesn't actually count as an F Plus Episode, but rather as a sketch that we did, based on a couple ideas we had been thinking about for a month or so. What happens when two very different improv troupes battle it out for supremacy? I guess you'll have to find out. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

SHORT: Masturbation Gone Wrong

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 16:06 GMT

In this outtake from episode 47 (In The World of Dragon Dildos, Is The Chin Wattle Man King?), we come across a thread where Bad Dragon customers freely discuss the times that their masturbation routines went unexpectedly. Absolute horror ensues. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

The Best Crowning Podcast of Awesome Greatness

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Sun, 18 Sep 2011 22:00 GMT

The Austrian-born philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein contended that a man could never truly know the mind of any other man. His belief was that language and thought are just too dissimilar in concept that to use one to explain the other is at best insufficent and at worst a fruitless excercise. Now it's about 70 years later, and we've all learned how to say “it's just like that one Star Trek episode.” TV Tropes is a community that defines and catalogues the shortcuts used in modern fiction, but this week, The F Plus is going to learn a little bit about these TV Tropers, and why so many of them are so gosh darn terrific. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Planet Moneygrubber

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Sat, 10 Sep 2011 07:00 GMT

Starting any creative endeavor takes a lot of hard work, dilligence, business acumen and some amount of money. It used to be that you were expected to come up with all of that yourself, but with the internet being what it is, people have come to expect that other people should provide at least one of those important factors. To that end, we would like to introduce you to kickstarter.com - a site dedicated to enterpraneurs amassing capital by the time-tested means of asking someone else for it. It's kind of like panhandling, except they like to use the word investment. This week on The F Plus, you won't need to put down your controller to grab a snack. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

I Can't Believe It's Entirely Butter

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Sun, 04 Sep 2011 07:00 GMT

We've been looking into your Facebook updates, and we've noticed you've been good all summer. You've been eating healthier, cutting down on sugary drinks, even getting a reasonable amount of excercise this year. Yes indeed, it's been work, but we've noticed you're looking a lot better and you don't seem quite as depressed as you used to be. But guess what? Summer's over. So let's get you back to your old habits. From the very fattest locations of AllRecipes.com to the most criminally negligant Food Network celebrities, we're going to be reading recipes that will make your arteries clog just from the sound of it. This week on The F Plus, it's all gonna look like poo poo. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Gotta Poke 'Em All

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 02:00 GMT

Since the dawn of the moving picture, studios have produced cartoons to appeal to a younger audience. These cartoons are typically colorful, whimsical, and unscrupulously cynical in their approach to selling merchandise to an impressionable and undiscerning fanbase. And since the dawn of the internet, this very same fanbase has demonstrated their psycho-sexual attraction to these cartoons that only wanted to sell them junk. To that end, we present you with Pokegirls - one man's fantasy to create an entire race of anthropomorphic beastgirls forced into sexual servitude and apparently being fine with it. This week on The F Plus, we take The Elite Whore Challenge. (Portaxx thinks that joke is funny.) Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Excuse Me, May I See Your Water Selection?

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Sun, 7 Aug 2011 03:45 GMT

As a species, humans have a small list of needs, a larger list of wants, and an even larger list of things to get arrogent and pissy about. This episode is all about water, specifically bottled water, which (as it turns out) can fit all three of these categories. Much in the same way that certain self-professed experts can wax poetic on the merits of certain wine vintages, there's a small but growing number of people who would like to share their enthusiasm for water, and just like the wine guys, they seem to be making most of this stuff up. This week, The F Plus gives the internet a thousand dollar swirlie. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Teh Ship Vas Crash Like Boom!

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Fri, 22 Jul 2011 20:00 GMT

When you hear the words "bad fiction", there's a lot of different things that might come to mind. Perhaps you think of the works of completely inept but infuriatingly popular writers like Dan Brown or Danielle Steel. And one day, we'll get to writers like those. But for now, we have Storyprovider - a Finnish fanfic writer who, in a sentence, will misspell as many words as he spells correctly. This week, The F Plus would like to recommend the Army Fried Gyu. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Yum, Slurp And Drool

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Thu, 14 Jul 2011 23:00 GMT

This is an episode all about vore. If you don't know what the word "vore" means, then you can consider yourself morally pure. You don't spent a lot of time on the internet looking up creepy fetishes, and you're probably living a healthier and more productive life because of it. Unlucky for you, you're about to lose that innocence. Vore is a fetish wherein people eat other people. It's not cannibalism, that's something else. This is a thing about people eating other people whole. I'm sure the community for this will be well-rounded and reasonable. This week, The F Plus asks to Super Size our meal. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Mix'd Nuts: Socks, Bots and Burps

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Fri, 01 Jul 2011 05:00 GMT

Some of our favorite F+ content has come to us, unsolicited, by our listeners. Honestly, I don't know how it is that you're coming across this kind of reading material, but I'm glad you do. To that end, we're offering three profoundly strange listener submissions: The first is fiction involving a transmogrification fetish, the second is a confession of one woman's love for a Peterbilt truck, and the third? Burp fetish. Yes, you read that right, burp fetish. This week, The F Plus tries to find their missing sock.

How To Listen To A Podcast (Advanced Users)

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Sat, 25 Jun 2011 18:00 GMT

Yes, it's another WikiHow episode. No, it's not a re-run. Frankly, Boots has been wanting to record a second WikiHow episode since we finished recording the first one, and he's got a point. There's really so much additional ground we need to cover, it would be downright irresponsible for us to think we've taught you enough. We're covering the words of teenagers, misogynists, morons, nerds and perverts, all of whom have helpful advice for you. This week, The F Plus finishes Step Twelve. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

She Thinks My Sex Are Spexy

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Sat, 18 Jun 2011 20:00 GMT

If you've listened to the F Plus for any length of time, you've probably found yourself familiarized with certain obscure fetishes. And while some of these fetishes have been really strange, there's always a portion of the listenership that was already familiar with this subculture. That trend ends now. What we have here is a community of men and women who are really turned on by poor eyesight. People for whom the height of eroticism is ophthalmology exams with really poor numbers. This week on the F Plus, we let STOG sing a country song. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

What's Louisville Got To Do With It?

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Mon, 06 Jun 2011 01:00 GMT

Over the last couple months, the so-called "legitimate press" has spent time talking about the extension of the USA PATRIOT Act, legislation which has allowed the US Government to secretly monitor its citizens since 2001. But really, so what!? It barely makes a hill of beans of difference when you consider the sophisticated audio, video, microwave, laser and improvizational survelience which the goverment has put in place specifically to annoy some woman named Connie Marshall. This week, The F Plus rethinks their millnery choices. (Look it up) Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Reno Iz Drest In A Kostoom

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Fri, 27 May 2011 19:00 GMT

Poorly constructed news reports and badly writen books will often speak about the "digital lives" that the anonymity of the internet afford us all. In the world of a MUCK (or multi-user chat kingdom), players can create an artificial personality and then use it to have artificial sex with other artificial personalities. And if that already sounds gross, it's gonna get worse when you're dealiing with people who have no idea how the female body works. This week, the F Plus finds new uses for the heart shaped box. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Weighty Companion Dudes

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Sun, 22 May 2011 01:00 GMT

Nearly 50 episodes in, and it's time for The F Plus' first crossover. Lou Fernandez (of the Lou Reads podcast) is no stranger to terrible writing on the internet, but how will he respond when he's stuck in a room full of F Plus readers? Moreover, how will the F Plus readers respond to reading the okCupid profiles of the internet's most irritating nerds? The results shouldn't surprise you! This week, The F Plus examines whether the game Portal might be involved in a certain kind of eugenics. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

In The World of Dragon Dildos, Is The Chin-Wattle Man King?

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Sat, 14 May 2011 23:25 GMT

I'd like you all to think back to the time that you were at an adult video store browsing the various "marital aids" that the store had available. Don't be shy to admit it, we're all friends here! Now... you remember looking at some of the more ridiculous products and giggling with your significant other over the thought of "Who would actually buy this thing?" This episode is like that, but worse. We're focusing on the community of Bad Dragon, an online retailer of sex toys accurately modeled after the genitals of creatures that don't actually exist. This week, The F Plus visits the astral plane and gets busted by vice cops. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

A Man Short On Charm

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Tue, 03 May 2011 19:25 GMT

The PUA (pick up artist) Community is filled with self identified experts on bedding women, all jockeying for prominence and trying to sell basically the same book. How does one peacock his way to notoriety and celebrity status to be identified as an alpha-PUA? Well, if you're tonight's subject (a man named Roosh V), you do it by spending most of your time banging away at your blog, and trying to find the best font for your "I HATE WOMEN" sign that you hang over your head. This week, The F Plus congratulates American women for making this guy leave the country. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

It's Only Supernatural

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Fri, 29 Apr 2011 00:45 GMT

For those unfamiliar with it, Supernatural is a television show about two hunky guys who fight monsters. Pulling from The CW's demographic of sexually frustrated young women with disposable income, it's a show with a fan base of a surprising number of pervy women who want to see the two hunky guys do it with each other. You'd think these women would be deterred by the fact that the hunky guys are actually brothers, but apparently that makes it better. This week, The F Plus looks at Wincesters until we reach for our Winchesters. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

How To Listen To A Podcast

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Tue, 19 Apr 2011 04:00 GMT

While you probably couldn't tell it by this podcast, the internet is not entirely a place for weirdo fetishists to meet other weirdo fetishists and talk about Pokemon. I mean, yeah, that's a pretty big part of it. But there's also the often overlooked sector of the intenet which functions as an informational resource. We're already familiar with Wikipedia and IMDb, but there's also sites like WikiHow, a site which will teach you how to do ANYTHING! (as long as it's stupid) This week, The F Plus will be drinking during our 12 step program. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

SHORT: Internet Computer by Hans Von Hozel

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Tue, 12 Apr 2011 02:30 GMT

This is a story by Hans Von Hozel. It is about The Beatles, ABBA, and the internet. Frankly, that's as much as I know. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

SHORT: Screech: Death Proof by ShakespeareHemmingway

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Tue, 12 Apr 2011 02:30 GMT

When you're watching Saved By The Bell, do you often wish there were long, drawn out scenes of Screech banging Lisa? Or perhaps are you hoping there were scenes of horrific violence against women pepetrated by Zach Morris? No? Good, that means you're a sane human being. So you should be fine listening to this. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

SHORT: Sheen Instinct by ShakespeareHemmingway

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Tue, 12 Apr 2011 11:50 GMT

Okay, time to get semi-topical. This is, as far as I know, the only story on the internet that features Garfield, Charlie Sheen, and the act of waterboarding. At least for now. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

My Fanfics Are Full of Emotion!

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Tue, 12 Apr 2011 02:30 GMT

This is the internet, and there are nerdy teenagers on it. As such, there are a lot of people writing a lot of fanfiction about their favorite television shows. Having a podcast with an interest in such things means you have to be discerning, and seek out the fanfiction authors with a certain je ne sais quoi, a mixture of verve and enthusiasm for the written word that causes you to rethink everything you've been taught. Or maybe it's just terrible prose. This week on the F Plus, we're learning Danube ain't just a river in Germany. Show notes (and a terrific new wallpaper) available at http://thefpl.us

Suffer The Little Children

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Mon, 04 Apr 2011 08:35 GMT

Most will agree that the decision to have a child is not one to be taken lightly, and in a modern world with new and complicated parenting concerns, some will remain resolute to never have children at all. But then there's a subsection of those people who will elect to be really annoying about it. We're tackling the livejournal community of cf_hardcore, a group of charisma-challenged individuals who feel they are constantly being persecuted by breeders. This week on The F Plus, we're finding new compound words to use with "crotch". Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Lemon Types In A Title For This Episode

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Tue, 22 Mar 2011 22:10 GMT

The multiple award winning screenwriter Billy Wilder once said "Don't be too clever for an audience. Make it obvious. Make the subtitles obvious also." To that end, I think Mr. Wilder would applaud the fanfiction writers who we've profiled for this episode. We have Resident Evil and CSI screenplays featuring characters who actually speak their own stage direction along with the dialogue. And after that? A Star Wars crossover you probably weren't expecting. This week on The F Plus, dialogue won't be coming naturally. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

I'm So Lonesome I Could Post In This Forum

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Mon, 14 Mar 2011 22:00 GMT

Despite various expensive websites strongly promoting their "social" aspects, the fact remains that internet forums are a fairly antisocial experience. You sign in with an alternate identity, type some words into a box, and hope that other people might do the same in response. We visited alonelylife.com, where forum users kvetch about their problems meeting people, chime enthusiastically about how much better their e-friends are, and trade terrible poetry, despite having never learned how a haiku actually works. This week on The F Plus, seven will be the loneliest number you could ever do. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Hoc Est Praecipue De Buttsex

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 01:00 GMT

With all of the various sexual proclivities which the internet has allowed us to examine, it's sometimes easy to forget that there were actually perverts writing perverted things long before the internet was even invented. Thing is, you had to be a notable French Rensaissance writer or Latin poet for anyone to even pay attention. Well, in an effort to bring some classiness to the podcast, we'll be reading selected works from Catullus, François Rabelais, and James Joyce, and see how they compare to The Modern Weirdo. This week on the F Plus, it's gonna be like a classical literature class with a really creepy professor. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Let Your Subconscious Be Your Guide

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Tue, 01 Mar 2011 12:00 GMT

People say that most human beings only use ten percent of their brains. The thing is, people who say that are lying to you. I mean, we have MRIs. All that glowing red stuff? That's the brain working. It's reminding you to breathe, remembering song lyrics, or in the cases of these subjects - making up a bunch of new age hippie nonsense. This week, it's psychic energy and hypnotism, and everything about it is as silly as you'd expect. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

By Demons Be Driven (Insane)

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Thu, 24 Feb 2011 18:15 GMT

Outside the walls of your apartment lie complications that are difficult and confusing. What will traffic be like on the way to work? If I go to the restaurant I like, will I get the awful waitress who never remembers my drink order? Why is my son failing math? These may seem like different problems, but in fact they have the same cause and the same solution. DEMONS DID IT. Throw blood on things. This week, The F Plus looks at people tormented by demons, and wonders how often they wash the floors. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Not As Funny With The Sound Off

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Sat, 19 Feb 2011 01:00 GMT

Welcome to the exciting world of the ANIMATION COMMUNITY! A land of milk, honey, and nasally whines about the artistic merits of Quick Draw McGraw! Did you know that cartoons are the Greatest American Artform? Well, they would be, if studios would spend more time worrying about the needs of storyboard artists, and less time foolishly assuming that children are a good audience for this sort of high-brow expressionism. This week, The F Plus explores the world of overly-nostalgic manchildren, and learn that some of them aren't John K. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Without Adult Supervision

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Sun, 13 Feb 2011 10:22 GMT

When John's unavailable, Boots can't talk, and Lemon's internet dies, should the remaining ridiculists record and episode anyway? That's for you to decide! The F Plus is looking at the at the scince that THE MAN doesn't want you to know about: Stuff like actual dragons, unicorns, flux capacitors, and the second evolution of an ambidextrous life form (or something). This week, The F Plus questions the meaning of existance, then gives up and makes childish jokes instead. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

This Is What You Want? This Is What You Get!

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Wed, 9 Feb 2011 02:22 GMT

This episode of The F Plus is all stuff you've given to us. We start out with the psychotic racial and gender views of MAI-TRANG THI NGUYEN (PRONOUNCED AS ‘WIN), who thinks she is God. Once that's done, we have some fun with some Star Trek slash, take some of the best nuggets out of some of the worst fanfics, and learn a new way you can get cancer. This week, The F Plus looks directly into the face of GOD, and finds out she's a big slut. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

A Frottage In The Woods

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Fri, 28 Jan 2011 09:17 GMT

Jesus! Are you back finally!? Yes we are and thank you very much for asking. The F Plus finally shambles out of its involuntary vacation to bring you unpleasantness you'll probably wish you never learned about. What is it this time? Frottage. Man-on-man, dong on dong frottage, the way that it was intended, at least from one very crazy person's perspective. This week, The F Plus brings you content you should plug your nose for. Show notes (including HORRIBLE PHOTOS YOU SHOULD NOT SEE) available at http://thefpl.us

Excessive, Overwraught and Annoying

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Sun, 07 Nov 2010 09:00 GMT

Pitchfork Media, often referred to as either "tastemakers" or "douchenozzles", depending on the source, have done the impossible: They have built a successful business, relying almost entirely on indulgent record reviews. And inarguably, the man responsible for the most eye-meltingly pompous reviews has been the focus of tonite's episode: Brent DiCrescenzo. This is a man who was actually dismissed from Pitchfork for the content of his record reviews, a man who wrote a Beastie Boys record review that Pitchfork actually had to print a retraction for. Clearly, he is F Plus material. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

F Plus Live: Part One

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 05:00 GMT

A City Pages Certified A-List Event! This first half has us reading Sliding Into Home by Kendra Wilkinson, The Day I Shot Cupid by Jennifer Love Hewitt, The Ice Opinion by Ice T, Confessions of an Heiress by Paris Hilton, and a book with a really long title by Macaulay Culkin. It also has all of us drinking and trying to make the funny happen. It's strongly recommended that you listen to this part first. Show notes (including photos and other fun bits) available at http://thefpl.us

F Plus Live: Part Two (Louder & Drunker)

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 04:59 GMT

The live shenanigans continue! We come back from the break and dig into Behind The Bell by Dustin Diamond, The Way of the Master by Kirk Cameron, Wild by Fabio, The Man With The Gold by Mr. T and 60 Years of Wit and Wisdom by Andy Rooney. The second half also features a very special birthday experience for one of our readers, as well as Lemon telling people to shut up. It's recommended you listen to the first part (look below) first. Show notes (including photos and other fun bits) available at http://thefpl.us

The Antisocial Network

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 01:00 GMT

With an registered userbase of over 500 million, Facebook has not been hindered much by niggling security concerns. Enter YourOpenBook. A site which, like Google, searches through all public profiles for people talking about the pressing news of the day, like their uninformed political opinions or details of who is cheating on them now. This week, The F Plus will make you doublecheck your security settings. Show notes (including photos and "where are they now") available at http://thefpl.us

No Sense Of Decency

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Wed, 22 Sep 2010 03:15 GMT

With a two-party system, and an entrenched media bias favoring the status quo, often it is difficult for less established candidates to have their views heard. As a duty to the country more than half of call home, The F Plus attempts to correct this oversight, and reads the words as written by three overlooked candidates for political office: A fundamentalist libertarian, a man with his own religion, and Basil Marceaux: A man who, even by F Plus standards, is completely unclassifiable. This week, we go way beyond the beltway, and start to wish more people used soap. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Short Bonanza #5: Sybil At The Movies

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Sat, 11 Sep 2010 01:05 GMT

There's plenty of sites all over the internet that can give you one man's opinion on a certain book or film. But in this thirty minute episode, we're going to read the opinions of a man who is not in control of his mental faculties, and ends up writing strange essays instead. Madness is inside this podcast, and it might be contageous. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Short Bonanza #4: My Grey Baby

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Sat, 11 Sep 2010 01:05 GMT

A piece of episode 15 that unfortunately had been ignored until now. This woman thinks she has been impregnated by a grey. Is she right? Yeah, probably. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Short Bonanza #3: Let's Settle This Religion Thing

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Sat, 11 Sep 2010 01:05 GMT

In nearly 20 minutes, we're going to try to solve the question of whether or not God exists. I mean, sure, philosophers, scholars and theologians have been debating this very topic for centuries, but that was before YouTube existed. Now, this whole thing will be a snap. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Short Bonanza #2: Here Come The Metalheads

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Sat, 11 Sep 2010 01:05 GMT

This fourteen minute episode has our ridiculists taking on the YouTube comments comments for a video of Metallica's Enter Sandman. We explore the idea of what corporate rock does for our society and our language. Also we laugh at nimrods. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Short Bonanza #1: Gucci Mane Race War

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Sat, 11 Sep 2010 02:15 GMT

This six minute short explores the curious case of a race war breaking out on YouTube just from people watching the video for Gucci Mane's song Lemonade. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

The Netflix Revue

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 01:05 GMT

With six million registered members, Netflix has become a dominant force in the entertainment industry. In fact, the recommendations given to you each time you sign in to the Netflix home page is crafted that way by what Netflix considers to be your peers - faceless people who have some sort of opinion about the movie in question. This episode, we plan to find the next Harry Knowles... and then mock him for being fat and stupid. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

But What If They're All Crappie?

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 00:25 GMT

If spending sixteen hours a day on the internet is the reason why you can't get a date, you can solve your problem by stepping away from the computer every once in a while and having a real, human, engaging conversation with someone you find attractive and personable. But of course, you're not going to do that, and that's why dating sites exist. This week, the F Plus puts on those floppy hats and goes angling in PlentyOfFish.Com, the fact that it doesn't charge means we don't have to pay to make fun of it. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Sub Sub Pop

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 09:30 GMT

The internet isn't only a place for for shut-ins to discuss their fetishes. It's also a place where self-aggrandizing attention sluts ceaselessly flog their own material in a transparent and shameless grab for attention. And as podcast providers, The F Plus is sympathetic to such naked egotism, but what happens if your band sucks? This week, we're taking on the music site Review Rinse Repeat, which not only reviews bands, but also lets unsigned bands explain how different and special they all are. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Lost Episode: The Christmas Offensive

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 18:53:25 GMT

So as it turns out, we were prevented from releasing the hackneyed Christmas Episode, and so instead are releasing the slightly less hackneyed Christmas In July Episode. This one focuses on the ire that Christians feel when they walk into a store and see the most offensive phrase in the English lexicon: Happy Holidays. Before we started doing The F Plus, we all had no idea that White Privilege could have so many different voices. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Ranch Dressing And Other Delights

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 09:37:25 GMT

Since 1998, throngs of internet users have come to AllRecipes.Com to learn how to make the meals they've been dreaming of, and share recipes of their own. It's a site visited by literally millions of people, including clinically depressed housewives and lifelong bachelors with erectile dysfunction. What do these people like to feed themselves? Really horrific things. This episode, The F Plus has the sodium levels of the South China Sea. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Porno For Pyros (Except With Sex Instead Of Fire)

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 20:56:25 GMT

It's been said that communication is key to a healthy relationship. It's also been said that when your sex life cools, lovers should watch pornographic films together. But what if your primary relationship is with pornography itself? Well, if communication is key, that means you should talk about it. All the time. And you should talk about it on internet message boards with other people who are into pornography just as much as you are. This week, The F Plus examines the meaning of "Too Much Of A Good Thing" Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

In The Family

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 08:26:25 GMT

This is a short horror script by a currently undiscovered screenwriter named Chris Keaton which we've decided to read. Hopefully this will catapult Mr. Keaton to the Hollywood success that he so clearly deserves. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Violet, You're Turning Violet, Violet

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Mon, 31 May 2010 08:26:25 GMT

Mexican (Woah Oh) Radio

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Sun, 16 May 2010 01:17:25 GMT

With the American economy in a recession and the unemployment rate maintaining at around 10%, a number of American citizens are looking for people to blame for these problems. And there are some who place the blame squarely on Mexican immigrants. Unsurprisingly, these are the same people who blame Mexican immigrants for everything else bad that ever happens to them. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

This One's Mostly About Buttsex

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Sat, 08 May 2010 10:55:25 GMT

The internet can, depending on the topic and the website, be an extraordinarily useful source of information. All over the world, people are using the internet for peer reviewed research and edification on a wide variety of topics, both scientific and cultural. And then there's sites like Yahoo! Answers, where dumb people ask dumb questions and then other dumb people answer them with dumbness. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

It'll Shock Ya Earlobes

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 07:37:25 GMT

Part two of the Juggalo podcast continues with the Topix thread on the subject of Slipknot sucking. After that, it's off to the Juggalo dating site, to meet the founder and learn about what he's looking for in a new companion. Finally, ICP fanfiction, where the two clowns die and then meet some anime characters. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

F**kin' Podcasts: How Do They Work!?

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 04:17:25 GMT

Juggalos are a group of people who dress up in face paint and carry plastic hatchets because they're really into a white rap group who does just that. Making fun of juggalos on the other hand is so commonplace that even Saturday Night Live is doing it now. But you're clearly mistaken if you think that's going to keep us away. This is an episode of juggalos describing themselves in their own words, and clearly it won't make any sense. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Idyll Hands And The Devil's Playground

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 09:57:25 GMT

On the internet, there's a whole lot of people writing poetry, which begs the question: Is any of it any good? Probably. But it's not like we're doing this to find people with talent. For our twentieth episode, we present to you a variety of poems from a variety of sources about a variety of topics. The commonality here is that none of these have any respect for meter or dignity. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

So Far I Have Not Found The Science

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 06:10:25 GMT

To start this episode off, we took a look at the popular television show Mythbusters, or to be more specific: Fans of Mythbusters who have odd predilictions for things that happen on the show. Then we ended up getting distracted by one Mythbuster's fan comic strip called Conquistodogs. And finally, we read the twitter page of someone who likes The F Plus. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Cut My Life Into Pieces, This Is My Last Resort

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 11:01:25 GMT

This episode, we take a brief but ever-insightful dip into the minds of teenagers. From rants about how parents don't understand, to indecipherable poetry about blood, to the simple impotent rage so timeless to the age group, we're about to get angsty all up in this bitch. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

My Malleable Mannequin

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 11:03:25 GMT

We're talking about the kind of romance that the powers that be in Hollywood just don't seem to focus on for some reason. Be it the Ruby 13, Teddy Babe, RSSD, or the popular Real Doll model, this episode we're talking about fuck dolls, and the men who love them. According to them, fuck doll enthusiasts are the most romantic people in the world, and you're about to hear the love. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

The Doublegay Conservaganza

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 08:20:25 GMT

To tide you over until the next recording hits the digital airwaves, here's two outtakes from Episode XIV: A Conservative Estimate. What we have is two subjects on the topic of homosexuality, as explained by Conservapedia. And really, who knows more about the gay lifestyle than a group of reactionary fundamentalists? Well, pretty much everyone, I suppose. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Press X To Not Live

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Tue, 2 Feb 2010 10:20:25 GMT

This week, we look at the concept of Video Games as Art from several different angles. First, we take a trip to the forums of The Escapist, where members get awards for watching cartoons and talk about what kind of assault rifle is the sexiest. If we are to believe their hype, these are the new game consumers, so what do they have to say? Secondly, we look at one of the oldest philosophical arguments in history, but through the eyes of a video game fan. Then finally, we get to the content itself, and read lines directly out of Need For Speed Underground 2, just to see the kind of art these video games have. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

An Otherworldly Experience

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Sun, 17 Jan 2010 10:11:25 GMT

It shouldn't be surprising for you to learn that there's groups of people who believe they've been abducted by aliens. Nor should it be surprising to learn that people have elaborate theories about aliens colonizing earth and playing an active role in our history and religion. But how about people that have communicated with digital monsters that exist inside of a Japanese cartoon? Couple all of this with spelling that is uniformly atrocious, and we've got ourselves a podcast. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

A Conservative Estimate

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Sun, 17 Jan 2010 09:38:25 GMT

If there's one thing that Conservatives, as a whole, have decided about the internet, it's that it has a liberal bias. YouTube has femmy kids crying about Britney Spears, so conservatives created GodTube. Google News feeds talk about American casualties in Iraq, so conservatives created The Free Republic. And Wikipedia says that Iran Contra happened, Nixon was impeached, and G. Gordon Liddy went to prison, so conservatives created Conservapedia. This is a site which is not so much meant to inform the publc (rather the opposite on a number of occasions), but is meant to reenforce stereotypes and fuel agendas. And it is delightfully insane. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Faster Pussycat, Ki! Ki!

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 10:59:25 GMT

Japanese cartoons and videogames have popularized the idea that standing still and screaming somehow allows you to conjure glowing balls of energy to be used for combative purposes. Unsurprisingly, Otaku have taken this belief as gospel and make assurances that chi balls are a valid form of martial arts training. These are their badly spelled stories.Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

A Feeling of Kinship

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 10:47:25 GMT

Otherkin is a word used to describe a group of people who believe that, in addition to being human, they also have the soul of some other creature, which is typically a dragon, a warewolf, or some other fictitious beast. For some reason, nobody ever believes they have the soul of a three-toed sloth inside of them, even though that seems the most appropriate. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Sex Is Personals

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 10:46:25 GMT

While Lemon takes a week off from the F Plus podcast, the rest of the group soldiers on with readings of Craigslist ads. Ladies, have you been looking for a man who will sodomize you while you play Super Mario Brothers? Gentlemen, have you been looking for a damaged woman who wants to move in with you, not have sex with you, and demand you take care of her? All this, and it's free besides. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

The Transformers Radio Variety Hour

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 08:59:25 GMT

Deviating ever so slightly from our typical podcast formula, this is a dramatic reading of two different pieces of Transformers fanfiction. One is called Ravage 3 Bodies Evolution, and the other is called Dinobot's Old Technology. Our readers play various roles, and bring the thing to you in the style of a radio drama, which no doubt was the intent of the authors. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Blood & Sparkles

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 05:31:25 GMT

Twilight, as you are no doubt aware, is a poorly written series of books. Which has since become a poorly written series of movies. And yet, despite the undeniable crapulence of the material, there are throngs of people devoted to the love story of a elderly vampire and his teenage love interest who he feels like killing. What the hell, you ask? So do we! Let's examine the Twilight fans together, shall we? Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

(Point To Schlong)

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 07:46:25 GMT

This week, we read the work of pick up artists and the seduction community, a thing made popular by Mystery and other likeminded douchebags with stupid hats. Using their methods (as well as a generous amount of acronyms) you too can learn how to hate women almost as much as you hate yourself. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Let's Hit Each Other!

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 07:46:25 GMT

An outtake from episode seven, this one was just too precious to not give to you immediately. A straight man from Oslo goes to gay bar to demonstrate his pick-up routines. Profound madness ensues. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Let Gravity Do The Work

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 02:36:25 GMT

This is a reading deleted from episode five (Weight, Weight, Don't Tell Me), but crazy enough that it really needed to see the light of day. You'll never look at women getting out of the car the same way. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Too Much Paranoias

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 02:05:25 GMT

Ever feel like there's a global conspiracy of random strangers who exist solely to harass, annoy, belabor, and confuse you. If you don't have schizophrenic tendancies, you probably answered no. But there's groups out there who insist that the conspiracy exists, and the only way to combat it is with crazy. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

Weight, Weight, Don't Tell Me

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 04:37:25 GMT

This week, The F Plus aims to go big, AS BIG AS POSSIBLE. Our readers tackle the work of food fetishists, who derive sexual pleasure from overeating. Show notes available at http://thefpl.us

You've Got A Friend

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 01:37:25 GMT

Everyone needs a support system. And this week, we've mined the the profiles and forums of an internet support group, in order to help you through any troubling times. Show notes available on http://thefpl.us

Episode Three: Metaphorical Chastity

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 02:34:25 GMT

We're coming off our previous fetishist episode with an episode of self-flagellating morality. This episode features motivation and tips from people angry that other people are having more fun than they are. Show notes at http://thefpl.us

Episode Two: The Internet After Dark

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Wed, 7 Oct 2009 13:06:25 GMT

This time we're getting a little sexy. Hear about fetishes you didn't know existed, and would probably prefer to be ignorant of. Show notes available on http://thefpl.us

Episode One: Tell Me What Adonis Did

lemon@thefpl.us (The F Plus) — Thu, 1 Oct 2009 12:06:25 GMT

For the pilot, our readers tackle notes from an alternative high school.