The Fat Girl Camp

Happy Fatties: State of the Fatties

2011-04-27T14:10:00.000-07:00

Happy Fatties: State of the Fatties: "So I wanted to give everyone an update on what has been going on in my little world. I haven't produced any new material in a couple of mont..."

Day 1

2011-03-27T15:20:00.000-07:00

Started back to FA today.
Starting Weight : 415 lbs.
Abstinence:
1 oz oatmeal
8 oz plain yogurt (nf)
6 oz fruit

2 oz cheese
8 oz salad
1 tbs oil
6 oz brocolli (v8)

4 oz beef
6 oz brocolli
8 oz salad
1 tbs. oil

My disease is yacking at me today. I'm willing and abstinent today but my sponsor mentioned that she won't sponsor people who do the inclusive AWOLs and that bugs me, as it always has...

I also am bugged that there isn't a fruit at lunch instead I have to have a salad. I want the fruit.

But with all that said I'm so grateful to have relief from the goddamn food today --

Beginnings

2010-05-14T21:48:00.000-07:00

I haven't told anyone what I'm doing because I really don't want any feedback. I think the proof will be in the pudding so to speak. I just had my first clean meal in about 2 years and I feel energized. I also feel very happy this week because I love my new job. I was so miserable in the last job and I had no idea how miserable I was until I started a new endeavor.

It seems when stuck in dysfunction village it is hard to see that there might be other places to go. It reminds me of the last episode of "Lost" where the mother of Jacob and the MIB told them that there wasn't anything outside of the island. They had no reason not to believe her. I had convinced myself that I wouldn't and couldn't do anything else.

I can. I am.

Keep on Truckin!

new and improved

2010-02-02T04:22:00.000-08:00

the newest platform for blogging is on tumblr. i started my blog over there now.
http://fatgirlcamp.tumblr.com/

update: I am baffled by the tumblr platform. Blogger is and has always been the easiest one for me to navigate.

Doctors Won't Treat Fat People

2010-02-02T03:46:00.000-08:00

It's time to open up camp again. I thought I could just go quietly but unbelievably now my experience with physicians is hitting the mainstream. Unbelievably Kathie Lee is actually sympathetic about it which is kind.

Check this out. I warn you -- it will make you mad.

http://lifestyle.ca.msn.com/video?cp-documentid=d24341f9-4fdf-4efa-a2cd-5ee9f6bee7b1,57023b7f-31d3-4e22-bd7f-c8e44af4a043,abdcfd9f-560b-400f-a4d6-3dd81d7caa18

NEW BLOG -- BREAKING NEWS

2009-11-11T04:39:00.000-08:00

I started a new blog. IT's called PugTales!

Come on by...

pugtales.onsugar.com

From the Dr. Oz Website: Sugar Free In 28-Days

2009-11-01T07:41:00.001-08:00

In this country, we’re facing all kinds of addictions – and beating them may be the #1 health challenge we face. Whether you’re addicted to nicotine, carbohydrates, salt or sugar, we all need a little help kicking the habit.

Try this 28-day challenge to reduce the amount of sugar you consume – you’ll feel healthier, and if you stick with it, you might just extend your life.

I'm Still Here

2009-07-10T00:33:00.000-07:00

I often think of this blog that I've since abandoned every summer when Big Brother hits the tv screen. I have a real pull inside me to reopen this blog and start writing about what is important about my journey.

Look for more things coming your way from good ol' me.

By the way, update quickly: I'm actually doing really well emotionally physically and mentally although mentally is always a tenuous journey---but overall all this work and all this pain actually has made me this woman I am today and I'm not so bad...after all.

Thanks for all of you who have commented over the years and still check in and read this blog...I continue to get comments on old posts that still resonate for some and for that I am eternally grateful that my experience can help some others.

Much Much Much love to you my friends...

Michele aka FunnyBits.

Food and Frustration

2008-01-13T02:51:00.000-08:00

If there was ever a doubt in my mind that I used food to soothe me (which there never has been; I've known that since birth) -- it has come roaring 'round the bend lately. I've been trying new things and being 1/2 way to a "regular" size makes that a little easier physically but mentally and socially -- the same old demons are there.

Since Thanksgiving I have been venturing outside of the old barcalounger and into the world. I like it. I like being able to be social and meet new people, reconnect with ones I haven't been around in a long time, and be in the world. However, I find myself feeling that feeling inside. It's quite hard to describe actually since I've spent the better part of my adult life trying to find the name for it.

It's not social anxiety but rather the afterbirth of social anxiety. I can go into a crowd and hold my own. My personality kicks in and I'm "on". But I feel so empty inside afterward. I feel so unsure. So insecure.

I've also had some adjustments with my medication where I'm not really on any medication anymore. I don't know if that's working so well for me. I added oatmeal and brown rice to my food plan and that has sent me spinning like a top. I don't really think it is because of oatmeal and brown rice--it's more because of my feelings around oatmeal and brown rice. My belief is that you keep somebody scared of something for long enough -- and the truth is -- oatmeal and brown rice are not scary -- oatmeal cookies and rice pudding are scary -- but the plain old commodity isn't scary at all -- they will get goofy.

I am more active now in my OA fellowship in this area. I decided it sucked so bad that I had to get involved if I was going to complain about it. Two people actually want me as their sponsor. It feels good to give it away. It really does. I just wish I could find a sponsor who would sponsor the way I did...I'm pretty good.

I don't want anyone to scare me into submission. I've believed the lies of this disease for so long that I'm petrified. And, I know that petrified is as petrified does and at a "regular" weight being petrified is well, uh, petrifying. Most sponsors I've had in my life have always given me the "don't do that; or do this; or you better watch it because; YOU'LL GET FAT!"

OH NO! NOT FAT! OH NOOOOOO! I've been fat. I'm still fat. And, I imagine my head will often tell me I'm fat even if I'm not. I cannot be afraid of this "fat" thing. It is a part of me. It just is. I don't have to overeat. I don't have to binge. I don't have to harm myself with food or other substances. But I have to make friends with fat. FAT FAT FAT FAT

Fat is such bad word, although in Arabic languages Fatima is a revered name meaning beautiful...so why are we so horrified at the word Fat. It's an inside job. I've said it since Day One at 427 pounds -- I need to be okay and actually thrive with my body the way it is and the way it was and the way it will be...there is no finish line.

Easy to say and write - hard to do.

Jesus at the Office

2008-01-09T18:43:00.000-08:00

Oh if you have some British sensibilities you will love this!

glumbert - Jesus at the Office

2008-01-04T13:30:00.001-08:00

70 mph Winds

2008-01-04T11:51:00.000-08:00

So, out here in California we don't usually get extreme weather. Not the case today! Bridges shutting down, electricity going out, flooding, winds up to 70mph. What a perfect time to catch up on the best show on TV!

The Wire

HBO has been replaying the entire series gearing up for the final season starting Sunday. Even if you aren't a TV watcher, the Wire is excellent. The writing of the show is reportedly the closest you and me will ever get to the real "real" Baltimore including politics, city life, and of course the underworld of drug trade. If you have a DVD player, all 5 seasons are available.

I hope you watch and enjoy. I know I have and will!

Peace-

Here's a recap of all the seasons:

By Tim Goodman (SF GATE)

If you've finally been pestered by friends (or your favorite local TV critic) into seeing what the fuss is all about with "The Wire," congratulations, but you need to go back to the start to enjoy this landmark series to its fullest. Just diving into Season 5, starting Sunday, is like reading the last chapter of a great novel. Don't cheat yourself that way. Rent or buy the seasons. Here are descriptions of each:

Season 1:

"The Wire" is an ensemble series, but we first meet the person who is essentially our guide through the brutal streets of Baltimore, Detective Jimmy McNulty (Dominic West), here. Since he's "good po-lice" as they say in the series, he's spending a little extra time on getting more support to bring down Avon Barksdale (Wood Harris) and Stringer Bell (Idris Elba), the virtually unknown but powerful drug dealers running West Baltimore. This sets up creator David Simon's big theme - the drug war in America - by intricately tracking both the cops and the criminals and how their infrastructure works (or doesn't). A wiretap, hence the title, is used in an effort to bring down the Barksdale gang.

Season 2:

Imagine you're HBO and you've just aired one of the most critically acclaimed (but barely watched) series, and people probably still haven't figured out the complex story line and the myriad characters, when Simon decides to shift the focus of the series to, of all things: "the decline of the working class in American cities, focusing on the Baltimore waterfront and its unions." Yep. Ambitious, that guy. While the drug angle becomes a "B" story line, we get a magnificent look at a different murder (well, actually lots of them) and the crumbling of a city. Here's where Simon broadly shifts "The Wire" away from being merely "a cop show."

Season 3:

The drug war is back as the main story line this season, but with a couple of twists. First, there's a new player in West Baltimore, Marlo Stanfield (Jamie Hector), a laconic, new-school drug lord who's ruthlessly efficient. Simon's bigger theme here is politics and how it fails its citizens, as "The Wire" focuses in on the mayoral race and what the black incumbent and white challenger will do to stop the killing. "The Wire" has always been about race, but Season 3 magnified it the most. This was also the powerful, riveting end to the main Barksdale drug angle.

Season 4:

By now, fans were used to Simon shifting players and themes, bringing in new characters and changing the series direction. Season 4 focused on the failure of the public school system and how the youngest West Baltimore children became "corner kids" - slinging drugs - faster than anyone in the schools (or the police department or outreach programs or families) could save them. Emotionally devastating, this season also continued the mayoral race, winnowed familiar faces from the police ranks, solidified Marlo's rising power and brutality and brought back major players from Season 2's foray into the Baltimore docks.

Season 5:

Everything in Baltimore is crumbling - every institution and the characters within that we've witnessed as viewers. The bigger theme in this season is "the media's role in addressing - or failing to address - the fundamental political, economic and social realities depicted over the course of the series."

2007-12-24T21:20:00.001-08:00

2007-12-22T16:31:00.000-08:00

Come and visit me at the old stomping ground:

Fat Girl Camp (the original)

2007-12-06T23:43:00.001-08:00

Feeling Loved

2007-11-29T02:01:00.000-08:00

I arrived home from Colorado late last night. Today - these beautiful flowers were delivered. I couldn't fathom why I would be receiving flowers?? And, the most touching thing was that they were from FMK congratulating and encouraging me for breaking into the 200s. I am so touched and it is inspiring to me...and it helped me get through another day abstinent....

Frances-you are amazing...thank you.

"What you want has to be stronger than what you have, and I wanted dignity more than I wanted food." (Frances Kuffel - O Magazine 2004)

2007-11-29T01:58:00.000-08:00

2007-11-18T11:53:00.001-08:00

Dr. Ian

2007-11-06T14:27:00.001-08:00

I received this email today from Dr. Ian's people. I thought I would put it out there just in case somebody is interested.

Take The Challenge
"Give up the Pounds, not the Fight"

Dr. Ian Smith's
Biography

Dr. Ian Smith is currently the medical/diet expert on VH1's highly-rated "Celebrity Fit Club," host of "Meet the Faith" on BET, and the creator and founder of The 50 Million Pound Challenge. Dr. Smith is also the host of his own nationally syndicated radio show HealthWatch on American Urban Radio Networks. He is the former medical correspondent for NBC News network and for NewsChannel 4 where he filed reports for NBC's "Nightly News" and the "Today" show as well as WNBC's various news broadcasts. He has appeared extensively on various broadcasts including "The View," "The Tyra Banks Show," "Larry King Live," and "Anderson Cooper 3600." He has written for various publications including Time, Newsweek, Men's Health, and the New York Daily News, and has been featured in several other publications including, People, Essence, Ebony, Cosmopolitan, and University of Chicago Medicine on the Midway.

Dr. Smith's work has been honored by several organizations, including the National Academy of Television Arts & Sciences for his coverage on the momentous events beginning on Sept. 11, 2001. Dr. Smith is very active in charitable causes, serving on several boards including the New York City Mission Society, American Council on Exercise, and the New York Council for the Humanities.

Dr. Smith graduated from Harvard College with an AB and received a master's in science education from Teachers College of Columbia University. He attended Dartmouth Medical School and completed the last two years of his medical education and graduated from the University of Chicago Pritzker School of Medicine.

Dr. Smith is also the author of five books, the #1 New York Times Bestseller Extreme Fat Smash Diet, the #1 New York Times Bestseller The Fat Smash Diet, the critically acclaimed The Blackbird Papers (2005 BCALA fiction Honor Book Award winner), Dr. Ian Smith's Guide to Medical Websites, and The Take-Control Diet. He is currently at work on his second novel.

A native of Danbury, CT, Dr. Smith resides in Manhattan.
Tracy G. Minsky
Meryl L. Moss Media Relations, Inc.
tracy@mediamuscle.com

P please consider the environment before printing this e-mail

Small World Ride Shuts Down

2007-11-03T21:59:00.000-07:00

Well, it happened...they are putting the Small World ride (my favorite) at Disneyland into drydock starting in January. Seems all this weight we've been carrying around has finally done the boats in...

I guess they haven't updated it since 1964 so it's about time--but I can see the backlash from this comin round the corner.

http://blog.wired.com/cars/2007/11/its-a-fat-world.html

Enjoy the ride:

2007-11-02T23:11:00.001-07:00

A Svelte 308!

2007-10-29T21:54:00.000-07:00

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall."
~ Confucius

______________________________________________________________________

I made it...I made it to my last goal in the 300's. Soon I will be in the 2's and a whole world awaits. I know the difference between the 4's, 3's, 2's and 1's.

In the 4's, it's hard to move, breath, or stay alive. The only activity you can do is eat and perhaps sleep for bits at a time. Because the body is so big - it is difficult to sleep for more than 2-3 hours at a time, going to the bathroom becomes an event which needs planning and tools, taking a shower is a chore. You can't buy underwear or clothes at the store (not that you'd be able to walk around anyway). You can't stand for very long and you have a chair in your shower. Your life exists online and on the phone and most days you feel like dying - so you just eat more because it's too much effort to die. You are exhausted.

In the 3's, it's a mixed bag. The high 3's are not much easier than the 4's but you have hope because you are getting lighter every day. The low 3's are good because you can do lot's of things again - shop, wear clothes that aren't "tentish", play with kids in the park, buckle your seatbelt, take trips (buy two seats), and the chair for the shower gets thrown away, the tools for going to the bathroom are no longer needed, you can stand in line, you start wearing makeup again and fixing your hair, you engage in life and with people, your face brightens a bit, and you start planning ahead. You get your very first passport because you are a traveler now and you are going places. You can sit on the floor and get back up and you can fit into booths.

In the 2's (not there yet; been there though) its more of the same in the high 2's, but the low 2's are interesting. You feel thin! You start dressing cute and you probably put a profile up on Match.com. You might start losing yourself as the days go by -- you're smaller, lighter, vulnerable, regular. Just being another "regular Joe" -- this can be displacing and scary. You probably ignore your fear and start spending all types of money and stay very busy.

You land in the 1's and it's a trip fantastic! Fun, fun, fun. You're thin! But, wait...you're thin. What does it mean? Who are you? Do you know who you are? Uh oh...what's next...uh oh...uh oh..uh oh...

And that is where the story begins and ends. Here I am on this journey which isn't unfamiliar - but I am determined to appreciate every pound and every phase -- because it's all about being thin, isn't it. Being thin is a trip and it is natural to be of a healthy weight...but it feels so foreign.

So, as I approach the 2's I feel a little worried. But I'm riding it out. I am keeping conscious. I don't use food to take away the feelings. I don't try and perfect anything...I take care of my body - sort of...I still smoke like a chimney - and I spend way too much time on my computer - and still get a thrill from shopping -- for anything. I got excited when I bought spackle. I love that word - spackle!

Anywhoo--if anybody still reads this -- thanks....for joining me on the journey.

xoxo

Best Telemarketer Call

2007-10-15T12:48:00.001-07:00

Blogged with Flock

Ollie and Moo - Sept 07

2007-10-06T19:10:00.000-07:00

Rub my belly - Moo I hide in boxes - Ollie

2007-10-06T18:38:00.000-07:00