the fat girl goes to college

take a breath

2008-10-15T10:58:00.000-07:00

wow...i should not be blogging right now. i have a paper and homework due, but i'm not doing it. i'm blogging. geez.

well, nothing has really changed since my last post except for the fact that i'm actually going to party this weekend. this will be my first college party, a thought i find particularly sad since i attend a party school. i'm also a bit anxious about the fact that i'm straight edge, and i wonder how people will react. i'm kind of thinking that it won't be a big deal to turn down a drink, but anything's possible when people's inhibitions are lowered.

i'm excited, though.

rollin rollin rollin

2008-10-12T18:53:00.000-07:00

i feel renewed. there's something about having all of your homework done, having eaten a decent dinner, and not dreading going to a dead-end job you hate. i love it.

for the past three weeks, i have been working at one of the dining commons on my campus. while my coworkers and superiors were decent, the work damn near killed me. most of the time, i was a busboy; cleaning tables and picking up food scraps left on the floor. doesn't sound too bad on paper, but in practice, for up to four hours at a time and only being paid minimum wage, its a terrible way to make a living. if nothing else, it did give me much more respect for people in service and custodial jobs. it is hard, hard work.

in other news, i am finally starting to make some peace with my roommate situation. while its sometimes not the best, it could be a hell of a lot worse. besides, i'd rather have someone who wants to talk to me all the time than not at all.

glory days

2008-10-02T23:42:00.001-07:00

sorry sorry sorry everyone for my unexpected hiatus. its just that adjusting to classes, college life and all that jazz has been kind of a lot to handle.

well, don't know if i have officially announced this yet, but i have finally moved into my dorm! in fact, next week will mark the second week of my college residence. so far, i'm in love.

well...not in that way. yet.

although, there is this one guy...i really like him, and i think i have a chance, but i'm not sure how he feels yet. we had the talk about what kind of girl/guy we like, favorite foods, where we're from, majors...all that good stuff. i don't know; i think he may be flirting a little, but i could also be totally over-reading his signals. time will tell.

and, with this new guy thing that i haven't experienced in, oh, i don't know, TWO YEARS (!) has left me conflicted. in my mind, i thought that i would have wanted to see him (my him) by now, but...strangely, no. not yet. some days are bad; i miss him more than anything, and i can't seem to think of anything else. some days are okay; i don't think of him at all, or i'm at least not all torn up about it. i don't know. hopefully i can get him up here this november...
i haven't totally lost the faith though: he still calls/texts weekly. soooo...good, right?

well, i have to go. still have reading to do, doncha know.

and speaking of doncha know, did y'all see the debate tonight?

the sting

2008-09-25T18:49:00.000-07:00

well. first week of college. huh.

unfortunately, i'm already having roommate drama: its breakup and makeup time with my friend and mr. boring. evidently, they broke up (again) because mr. boring wouldn't commit...or something. you know, this is the stuff that gives teenage/young adult romances a bad name. i mean, everyone has their relationship drama (myself included), but this grade school immaturity thing has to stop. seriously. she's now telling everyone how she wants to get back with him, how she misses him, but she doesn't miss him, that she's so sad he deleted her from facebook, but he's so stubborn. i've tried my best: i told her that if she wants to stay friends, she should tell him so. no, she says; he's too...

too what, i asked?

just stubborn, she says.

i just don't understand girls sometimes, myself included. for example, i'm really really really really really missing him (my him) a lot. i mean, it seemed a few weeks ago that i was doing fine. i was looking forward to school and friends and learning and new guys and everything else that comes with college. now, it seems as if i can't even go a single hour without thinking of him once.

and that really sucks.

i have nothing, nothing, nothing - no; really. i have nothing

2008-09-20T21:47:00.000-07:00

hey y'all. sorry about the delay in posting, but i've been really busy with moving into my dorm. i moved on friday, and i'm really loving the campus.

i have nothing to report right now since dorm drama hasn't really started yet. the only thing i can think to tell you is that...i'm not over him. even though i thought i was, i'm not. it'll take one hell of a guy to make me forget him.

oh, and i listened to more jonny mcgovern.

tick tock

2008-09-10T17:07:00.000-07:00

so, today was basically a kick-back day where i did absolutely nothing. i talked to my future roommate yesterday, the one who broke up with her boyfriend since he bored her. they're back together now, if its of any importance to you guys. i guess he wasn't that boring, but i digress.

like i said before, i did nothing of any note beside order delivery chinese, watch a little noggin (its educational, dammit) and listen to more jonny mcgovern antics. i'm moving to my dorm next friday, but i've still been putting off packing/cleaning up. i don't know why that is; maybe i'm still a little anxious subconciously. whateve.

other than the aforementioned articles, i have nothing to report. oh, i would like to give a quick shoutout to all my LINKREFERRAL BUDDIES!!! you guys are great...thanks for the awesome reviews and pointers. i forgot who said what, but one person said to scale down the font size. i will totally do that...i noticed just how big it is on the actual blog itself. i was just to lazy to change the default font.

oh, and the reason i don't post every day is that my life is not that exciting or eventful, right now anyways. i promise you that the stories will get better in the next two weeks.

if you feel like crying, watch the video below. one of my favorite songs from the moment i heard it.

the thin line between love and boredom

2008-09-06T17:33:00.000-07:00

a few weeks ago, one of my good friends met a guy whom she fell for, and he became her first boyfriend. a couple days ago, she changed her facebook status from "in a relationship" to "single". so, like any good girlfriend, i fished my brass knuckles out of my underwear drawer and prepared to annihilate the guy who had broken her heart. however, i had jumped the gun.

upon hearing the news, i called her at once to find out exactly what had happened. she picked up, and seemed quite chipper; not at all heartbroken. here is a rough transcript of our conversation:

Fat Girl: omg, what happened? are you alright?
my friend: oh yeah; i'm fine.
FG: so...what happened between you and [bleep]?
mf: well, i dumped him.
FG: hmmm. do i need to come up there and break my size 10 off in his ass?
mf: (laughs) oh no. don't worry; he didn't do anything. in fact, that's sort of the problem.
FG: i...don't understand.
mf: well, he never wanted to party or hang out or anything. he just wanted to stay in his dorm and talk. he was boring.
FG: oh well (laughs), i guess. so what did you tell him?
mf: mmm, nothing really. just that he was boring and i wanted to break up.
FG: oh...oh my.

well, you get the idea. basically, she dropped him like a hot potato because he bored her to death after approximately three weeks. now, to me, the first couple of weeks into a relationship aren't as exciting as, let's say, the first two. i guess that's because the honeymoon phase is starting to wear off. however, that's when the most intimate time starts. you guys start knowing little details about each other that no one else does. but i guess that could be perceived as the most boring time too. it all depends on perspective.

all i know is that there two guys that i met at my college orientation that i can't wait to get to know better. but that's for another post.

anyways, i'd like you guys to know about my new, totally awesome feedback email for the site. so, if you have any questions, comments, constructive criticism (and i stress constructive), post suggestions, or anything else cool you want to let me know about or something you want posted on the site, please send it to thefatgirl@rocketmail.com. don't worry: i'll post the email in the header of the site so you'll never lose it.

also, there's a poll in my sidebar regarding adsense. please vote in it! i really need my readers' opinions.

editor's note: i removed the poll on 9/12/08. however, the results indicated that most of you would not be offended by adsense on the page. thanks for your votes!

random things in my head

2008-08-29T20:02:00.000-07:00

1. ITS OLD SCHOOL FRIDAY ON ADULT SWIM! YAY!!!!
right now, i am currently watching the brak show that i haven't seen in about four years since i missed the last old school friday. however, i'm really really SUPER excited about space ghost that comes on in three hours...yes.

2. for the last week or two, i have been obsessed with the podcast gay pimpin' with jonny mcgovern. although i am straight, this shit is hilarious. just be advised that some of the content (well, a lot of the content) is for mature audiences only. here is the wikipedia article about the podcast, and here is the official website (explicit content).

3. I need school supplies.

a little drinky poo

2008-08-24T19:24:00.000-07:00

according to my facebook countdown clock, i have less than 25 days until my college move-in. i love vacation as much as the next person, but the lack of having much to do in my small town, having my boyfriend and most of my friends leave already, i am pretty lonely. and bored...but, i have tried to be productive in some of my recreational pursuits.

for example, i love cooking and food in general. so, i have tried to incorporate a new recipe into each week. i also have more time to devote to my creative writing pursuits: mainly poetry, essays and blog posts. but...it's still boring. my friends who have already started tell me to not take vacation for granted, that i'll want it when the work starts piling on. i know, but i'm bored now. i don't know.

in college news, folks have been abuzz concerning lowering the drinking age. the center of the controversy is an organization called the amethyst initiative, an association of college chancellors and presidents pressing for a reassessment of legal drinking age to lower it to 18 instead of 21. their website cites:

[The statement requesting a reassesment of legal drinking age] does, state clearly the signatories' belief that 21 is not working as well as the public may think, that its unintended consequences are posing increasing risks to young people, and that it is time for a serious debate among our elected representatives about whether current public policies are in line with current realities.

hmm. well, the policy is here nor there with me, as i abide by the straight edge lifestyle. however, i can see the logic in the case that making alcohol less "forbidden" could cut down on binge drinking and other dangerous activities concerning irresponsible alcohol use among teens. i can also see how it could go in the completely opposite direction and lead more kids to drinking, possibly in excess. i am truly on the fence on this one.

so to my awesome readers: how do you feel about this issue? do you think that your upbringing affected your behaviors and beliefs about alcohol and other controlled substances?

forget me not

2008-08-21T17:37:00.000-07:00

my better half left for school today. part of me is slightly jealous that i still have to wait a month to leave; part of me mourns him leaving; part of me is happy that he'll get a chance to grow. however, the whole of me has reconciled with the fact that i won't be able to see him as often as i'm used to. i heard one of my favorite songs that complements my feelings. if you know it, feel free to sing along. if you don't, the words are right below.

billy joel - this is the time

We walked on the beach beside that old hotel
They're tearing it down now
But it's just as well
I haven't shown you everything a man can do
So stay with me baby
I got plans for you

This is the time to remember
'Cause it will not last forever
These are the days
To hold on to
'Cause we won't
Although we'll want to
This is the time
But time is gonna change
You've given me the best of you
And now I need the rest of you

Did you know that before you came into my life
Some kind of miracle that I survived
Some day we will both look back
And have to laugh
We lived through a lifetime
And the aftermath

This is the time to remember
'Cause it will not last forever
These are the days
To hold on to
'Cause we won't
Although we'll want to
This is the time
But time is gonna change
I know we've gotta move somehow
But I don't want to lose you now

Sometimes it's so easy
To let a day
Slip on by
Without even seeing each other at all
But this is the time you'll turn back to and so will I
And those will be days you can never recall

And so we embrace again
Behind the dunes
This beach is so cold
On winter afternoons
Ah, but holding you close is like holding the summer sun
I'm warm from the memory of days to come

This is the time to remember
'Cause it will not last forever
These are the days
To hold on to
'Cause we won't
Although we'll want to
This is the time
But time is gonna change
You've given me the best of you
But now I need the rest of you...

for g.: farewell love, and remember that someone out there will always love you.

do you hear what i hear?

2008-08-20T23:03:00.000-07:00

so, i have been more bored than ever lately. for some reason, i have been obsessed with downloading random podcasts to see if anything tickles my fancy. one that i listened to last night is paul and storm talk about some stuff for five to ten minutes (on average), a really random podcast where they discuss happenings in their respective lives. they're only on their third issue, but i really hope they keep it going. you can download it from their site, or you can use itunes (my podcast "keeper" of choice since its idiot-proof).

i kind of don't keep up with it anymore, but geek speak radio is also a good one. i'll be honest: i don't really understand a lot of the technical issues they discuss, but it is entertaining nonetheless. again, download it from their site, itunes or a myriad of other podcast directories.

oh, and if you're not aware of the sheer hilarity that is ask a ninja, become well acquainted. you won't be disappointed.

umm...okay...

2008-08-19T22:02:00.000-07:00

so, i haven't really been paying attention to my blog, and i came back and read some of my comments. wow...i didn't know that so many people would find my being fat so...i don't know, offensive. i don't think i'm promoting an unhealthy lifestyle. in fact, to be quite honest, i don't think my blog is popular enough to promote anything. i call myself fat because it's who i am. i think everyone is great the way they are: if they want to be fat, fine; if they want to be skinny, that's great too. i really don't care. i'm not saying that being fat is good or okay, but right now, it is a part of who i am. it's just a title, and if it offends you and/or your children, block the site. you'll never have to see it again.

so there.

about tropic thunder: i just thought it a bit distasteful and i exaggerated a bit to get my point across. call me overly sensitive, but that just kind of crossed the line with me...

oh and breaking dawn was good. the ending was a bit of let down for me, but eh. just thought my bloodlust would be satisfied with a bit more fighting.

oh, and to my bff "potatoe": no full body shots, sorry. the sexiness would just disintegrate your brain cells upon viewing. ;)

so...blackface is funny again?

2008-08-15T23:56:00.000-07:00

i've been hearing a lot about the controversy caused by the comedy tropic thunder regarding the superfluous use of derogatory terms describing people who have mental disabilities. yes, i do agree that this is offensive, and the film is inappropriate just because of these charges. however, has anyone noticed that robert downey jr. is in BLACKFACE, possibly one of the most offensive forms of racial humor? it seems to me that no one is saying anything about this. as a black/african-american person, i find this quite off-putting that this is considered humorous in a time where we are supposed to be so "enlightened" and unified. so, is this going to become an okay thing again? are mammy and lawn jockeys going to make a comeback too?

my family and i have been very...well, intense (for lack of a better word) in watching the olympics. anyone else notice that some of the gymnasts from china seem a little...young?

oh, and almost done with breaking dawn. huh...epic fail? or not? i haven't yet decided...

one, two, three strikes you're...good?

2008-08-08T20:45:00.000-07:00

to break the monotony in waiting for my departure this september, my mother and i decided to go bowling. let me preface what i'm about to say with this: i am not a good bowler. hell, i'm not even a decent bowler, but i try. besides, it's about having fun right?

one little fun fact i've discovered about myself is that i swear like a sailor every time i go up to bowl. whether it was a good or bad...throw (i guess you would call it), i still cuss up a storm. it's not like i do it loudly or something; it's just to myself and maybe the guy next to me if they were listening hard enough.

well, i don't know about you guys, but i'm watching the opening session of the olympics, soooo...
got to go! :)

no time is a good time for goodbye

2008-08-03T01:04:00.000-07:00

in all of the you're-going-to-college-now-what? advice books that i've been reading, a main point is that it's best to be romantically unattached when entering your postsecondary education. this means that if you do/did have a significant other in high school, its best to break it off.

i know that this is what's best, but its been so hard to actually come to the conclusion that i need to do this. i've been with the same guy for about two years now (which is an extremely long time in high school) and its safe to say that i've fell firmly in love with him. sure, we have our momentary moments of anger with one another, disagreements on politics or current affairs or just about anything else one could think of, but we always seem to patch things up. no, i don't know if he is "the one" or just someone i really clicked with, but a lot of...firsts have been with him. i don't think i need to clarify that one...

i want to move one and find other people, and i want him to do the same. in the long run, we both want completely different lifestyles, and i'd doubt it would work very well. but...he has tried bringing up the prospects of marriage. no, i'm not kidding; he really has. as fairytale-ish and wonderful as it would sound on paper, i don't know if we'd be a good married couple. who knows though? who really knows how it will all turn out but the Maker Himself? i sure don't. what i do know is that i would be a very happy camper if the universe decided to bring him back to me, but for now, i must let him go.

i am reminded of a very wise quote. sorry, i don't know who said it though.

if you love something, let it go. if you are meant to have it, it will come back to you.

deep, huh?

yo gabba gabba is the best children's show...basically, in the history of life

2008-07-30T15:24:00.000-07:00

so, i was home today after hanging out with my roommate to-be, when i stumbled on one of my favorite tv shows of...well, ever: yo gabba gabba.

if you're not familiar with the show, visualize a somewhat avant garde, new-breed of barney type characters frolicking around, but teaching kids valuable lessons, like to look around before crossing the street or that it isn't good to eat a sandwich after it has fallen on the ground. i make these statements with absolutely no sarcasm intended. i do firmly believe that these little things should be taught to little kids, and this fun technicolor romp through the imagination is just what the doctor ordered. well done, nick jr.

in fat news, buzz has been stirring about the new playstation game, fat princess. my understanding is that a key part of the game is searching for dessert items to feed to the opposing team's princess to "fatten her up" if you will. huh. i guess, as a fat female, this figure is supposed to represent me. like, me sitting on my ass eating sugary sweets and such. actually, that sounds like fun...

but in all seriousness, this is (i apologize for the language, but there's no more accurate description than this) some fucked up shit. when are we going to stop making fun of fat people? seriously. when will it stop being okay? last time i checked, it's not okay to make sexist or racist jokes, but it's fine to make sizist remarks? whateve. you know, i have a solution: boycott sony till they get rid of this bullshit. its time to take a stand. what do you say?

oh, and big fat blog also has a post regard the scandal if you want to read some more fat perspectives.

and working overtime

2008-07-24T00:02:00.000-07:00

so, i've been doing a lot of thinking lately. mainly, about my future but also a sundry of other things as indicated by my past few posts. i don't know if i've posted this yet, but i recently attended my college orientation and opted to take on 17 units of classes. now, the minimum at my school (and most other schools i think) for being a full-time student is only 12. however, me being my overacheive-y self, i have decided to take on more. i also have a job lined up at one of the campus' dining commons. i know this will be no cakewalk, but i have wondering if i am setting myself to do too much. some of my closest friends are taking less units and they have begun advising me of what may be the error of my ways. so, i'm nervous. i did take advanced placement and honors classes since my freshman year in high school, so i know that mediocre work won't cut it. but, have i taken on too much?

then, in the back of my mind, i just think that i will drop a class that's not something i had expected to be taking. i don't know. i guess this is just one of those things that i'll have to experience for myself. huh.

in college news today, a judge has ruled that uc berkeley has the right to build their athletic stadium anywhere they want, even if it means destroying some of its greenery. kinda sad, but i guess athletics is of more importance to some.

i believe in harvey dent like i believe in love

2008-07-21T23:58:00.000-07:00

the dark knight. quite possibly the best movie of the year, definetly the best movie of the summer, and one of the best movies in superhero film history.

two years ago, i would have told you that my favorite superhero was superman, and thusly, superman returns was one of the best. superman is almost indestructible and actually has psuedo-divine powers that are engraved into his very being, not some obtained by the use of expensive weapondry, i.e. the case of batman. however, the second chronicle of batman's evolution was pure genius. while eckhart and bale both shined in their roles, mr. ledger stole the show in a twisted, sadistic portrayal of the joker. it is truly a shame that hollywood has lost such a great actor; anyone who tries to star in this role will have huge shoes to fill.

oscar blessings are most definetly in this film's future, but some negative buzz is as well. many parents are feeling distraught over taking little ones to see the movie. their kids (and themselves) may be expecting this to be as cartoonish as its predecessors (batman forever, anyone?). i would like to warn anyone reading this blog to heed my warning now: THIS IS NOT THAT MOVIE. do not expect to see a campy, technicolor portrayal of a city threatened by stereotypical comic-book baddies. no, my friends. the joker (and eventual two-face) are actual criminals who actually kill people. not rob from them. not take money or swindle them. they kill people, and do so in a very scary, realistic, this-could-potentially-happen-in-real-life way. i'm not kiddding: as a 17-year-old, (i would like to think) fairly intelligent, college student, i left the theater kinda sorta looking around dark corners to make sure there were no knife-toting clowns around.

so, moral of the story: know your kids, know their maturity level, and know their limit. it is a great movie: great acting, special effects, scenery, and the whole bit. but, this is not your run-of-the-mill summer family movie.

with all that said, yes, i do believe in harvey dent.

no, i do not think he's dead.

and no, i have no idea why mamma mia's producers thought it was a good idea to release it on the same day. oy.

about a girl

2008-07-20T01:23:00.000-07:00

after reading some of the reviews on the site, some of you guys are just dying to get to know me better. i do have a picture up on the upper right hand side of your screen, but i try to stay anonymous for my safety and that of my friends and family. besides, doesn't a little mystery keep things sexy?

anyhoo, i've decided to take some measures so that you all can get to know me better. first, i have placed a cool widget thingy on the sidebar from the coolio peeps at last.fm. this is a radio thingy of music from my personal collection. now you can listen to what the fat girl hears twenty four-seven! *cheesy thumbs up signal*

i've also put a link to my profile page at last.fm in my blogroll so you can stalk me...musically...

the following is "the ultimate myspace survey." yes, i know this is not myspace, but the questions give a good basic feeling of what i'm all about. enjoy!

ultimate myspace survey!

YOU YOU YOU...
Full Name:: The Fat Girl
Nicknames:: um, pass
Birthplace:: California
DOB:: November 8, 1990
Hair Color:: black/dark brown
Eye Color:: brown
Screenname:: thefatgirl, The Fat Girl, many variants thereof
Favorites...
Color:: purple, black, green
Movie(s):: coming to america, hairspray, speed racer, superman returns, rocky horror picture show
Song(s):: "sara" by starship (keep in mind this changes quite frequently. besides, i can't list them all...there's not enough room for it)
Band(s):: toto, jefferson airplane/jefferson starship/starship, chicago, fall out boy, gnarls barkley
Day of the year:: hmm...thanksgiving. and my birthday
Food:: anything asian, chinese especially
Sport:: tennis
Store:: hmm...torrid probably
Actor:: emile hirsch, steve buscemi, william h. macy, brandon routh
Actress:: wow. i actually don't think i have one. sorry!
Vacation Spot:: las vegas :D
Season:: fall/autumn
Restaurant:: todai japanese buffet
Do you prefer...
coke/pepsi:: coke
chocolate/vanilla:: depends on what the food is
dogs/cats:: cats
1percent/2percent milk:: umm, WHOLE PLEASE!
black/white:: black
sing/dance:: dancing. when else do you get a chance to simulate sex with a hot guy you've never met without the risks of stds and/or pregnancy?
rock/rap:: rock. but no, i'm not one of those people who is like "rap is like, idiots trying to recite poetry" because i don't believe its true. i love rap/hip-hop, but i do like rock
Love stuff...
Are you single?: umm...kind of. officially = yes. realistically = no.
If so, do you have someone in mind?: well yes
Who?: this guy that i've been involved with for the last two years. he's the complete opposite of me, but something just clicked between us. but, that'll all change come september
What personality traits do you look for in the opposite sex?: he has to be funny, intellectually engaging (or he'll bore me quickly), independence, a drive for success and respect for me and other fat women
What's the first thing you notice(physically) about them?: eyes
Would you prefer a good or bad boy/girl?: good in the street and bad between the sheets ;)
Have you kissed someone?: um, yeah
Have you ever been in love?: yes. sort of am now
Have you had your heart broken?: yes, unfortunately
Other stuff...
Have you gone skinny-dipping?: haha, no. i can't swim, actually *awesome fat girl trivia :D
Have you ever been out of the country?: no. i would like to travel abroad to japan though
Do you believe in god?: yes. i am currently a practicing roman catholic, but don't worry: i'm democrat, pro-choice, and for gay marriage. i don't go for the politics of catholicism
Do you believe in yourself?: yes, i do. i think (i hope, anyway) that i can help someone else, through my studies, my career, or this very blog
Do you want to get married?: yes, most definitely. one of my goals in life is to get married, settle down, and start a family
Do you play any sports?: no...i did take tennis lessons before though.
What was the last phone number you dialed?: let me check...actually, my last call was to my voicemail. sorry its boring :(
Do you have a best friend?: i am very blessed to have a few actually
Have you ever wanted to die?: nope
Have you seen someone die?: no, thank god
Have you gone swimming in an ocean?: no. can't swim, remember
Have you ever cried in public?: yeah...it was really pathetic
What is your worst fear?: that i will die without acheiving any of my goals in life, i.e. medical school, starting a family, etc.
How long does it take you to shower?: about 15-20 min
What was the last movie you saw in the theater?: wall-e. really cute, and great message
What was the last movie you rented?: into the wild
Do you have a favorite quote?: "having sex is like playing bridge: if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand." i have no idea who said that
Do you have any regrets?: nope. life is too short for regrets :)

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bring it

2008-07-18T15:52:00.000-07:00

i don't know how many people out there are familiar with the twilight saga by stephenie meyer, but i have mentioned it previously. i'll spare you the deets of the story, but here's the link to the wikipedia article of an overview if you're interested. i'm about to rant about the series, so if you aren't interested, you may want to just skip the purple words.

so, i just finished eclipse last night. yes, i know: where have i been? i actually read twilight and new moon all in the span of a month (they are addictive), and i became a twilight freak like many of my other school associates. in the first book, i was totally fine with all the characters: edward was slightly detached but revealed himself to be more than anyone bargained for, jacob seemed like a cool secondary character, and i could totally relate to bella. i did feel she was sort of whiny, but i was willing to accept all that in light of the circumstances. however, in the second book, she just became so goddammed whiny. i guess that's harsh, but i could have done with out the pages upon pages of detailed explanations of the sheer pain she felt from the absence of edward. i mean, i know that sucked, but i didn't need to hear about that every ten pages. in the third book, wooo...don't EVEN get me started. that second kiss with jacob was just fucking disgusting. i mean, here's some points i formulated toward the end of the story:

1. if you are in love with jacob, tell him and break up with edward so we can get on with the freaking story.

2. if you aren't in love with jacob, get him the hell off of you, and stop talking about how you love him, and how you'll be jealous if he gets imprinted with some other chick and blah blah blah...

3. edward is the better choice. he's smarter, better-looking, more mature and more self-sacrificing than jacob could and would ever be.

4. jacob is a jerk. he's deceptive, and if he really loved bella, he would let her be happy and choose her own path rather than use ultimatums to force her to "love" him. (i.e. if you don't kiss me, i'll go fight and die. you love me as a friend and don't want me to get hurt, so i'll use that weakness against you.)

if you can't already tell, i'm most definetly team edward. i probably missed some points, but i'm sure this won't be the last time i'll post about it.

pant pant pant...alrighty then.

another (real-world) issue that's caught my eye is a news story that's been kind of under the radar. the uc (university of california) regents are thinking about relaxing standards for uc admissions. as a uc student (i'll be going to uc santa barbara this fall), i'm not really sure if this is necessary. because my grades were pretty good (3.8 gpa), i was guaranteed into at least one campus of the uc system. i guess it would be great for people to have access to education, but having some exclusivity to the school means that only the most qualified students take advantage of the school's resources and the school's reputation stays afloat. as un-PC as that may sound, its true. so, i'm slightly undecided about this. how do you feel about this? should uc admission policies be relaxed?

also, how do you feel about the whole eclipse situation? are you team edward or team jacob?

crank this

2008-07-13T21:53:00.000-07:00

originally, this post was supposed to be about something profound; like how i can't wait to "find" myself at college, the deep friendships i'll make there, and other sundry quasi-intelligent items. then, before i made my way over to the blogger interface, i decided to waste a little time on youtube. that time has inspired me to write about something entirely different.

yes, i am/was aware of the cultural dance phenomenon known as "cranking dat soulja boy," and i have been known to try my hand at the dance myself; albeit with a less than satisfactory result. however, as i browsed the search directory at the mega video depository, i learned that there are many things/people/pop culture icons one can "crank", if you will. the following are videos of the ones i have found so far.

crank dat spongebob, courtesy of youtube users LilNateBalla and ChooThug

crank dat forest gump, courtesy of youtube user krazjohn

crank dat lion king, courtesy of youtube user erik920

crank dat peter pan, courtesy of youtube user shawtyj706

these were some of the more entertaining vids, but believe me, if you want more, there are multitudes out there. i mean, who knew that there were so many things to crank?

don't lie

2008-07-06T21:04:00.000-07:00

first off, thanks to everyone for your support. i know everything will be okay, but it's quite nerve-racking to explore a new world of independence. exciting, but nerve-racking.

anyhoo, i'm having trust issues. like, whether someone is lying to me or not to avoid me. if they are lying, i couldn't begin to understand the reason why they would. however, it feels as if they are avoiding me. i certainly hope they aren't, but another part of me knows that i probably won't see them for very long anyways. i just don't want to lose a close friend, and i fear that i might be.

well, i hope that everyone has had a safe holiday. my family decided to visit a major theme park to view the fireworks rather than set off our own. while i love the excited atmosphere, i could do without the crowds, especially during closing time...

i'm done for tonight. salud!

under pressure

2008-07-03T19:46:00.000-07:00

for the very first time, i'm having anxiety about college.

orientation is next week, and i'm having anxiety about fitting in. at my particular session, there will be no one i know to hang out with. i keep thinking about my friends, my significant other and wonder if i'll have the same quality of relationships there. my logical side tells me that everyone else there feels the same way i do, and is just as nervous and anxious as i am. however, my emotions seem to overpower that part of me...oh well. i'll get over it.

oh, this is just something kind of random and weird i found on youtube. like i've said before, i'm a chuck e cheese/pizza time theater nut, so i spend a lot of time searching for vintage vids. kinda violent, but my twisted sense of humor thinks it's funny...

does anyone know what movie the dialogue comes from?

courtesy of youtube user lastcallcleveland

let me learn ya

2008-07-02T00:15:00.000-07:00

first off, thanks to the peeps who commented my last post. it really feels good that i have touched someone with my blogging, and i hope to keep it up. in fact, this is actually my third blog - my first (also on blogger) was started in my sophomore year of high school. when school got to be too much of a burden for me to keep up with it, i had to abandon it. last year while i was going through a really bad breakup, i kept a blog on myspace until around 10 days ago when i decided to move back to blogger in order to reach a larger audience, have better customization options, and all that cool junk that comes along with blogger...so yeah. i decided that, rather than just picking up on the old blog, that it might be a good thing to start from scratch. so, the fat girl goes to college was born.

this sorta kinda gives me a segue into my next topic: why do i call myself a fat girl? well, i guess i should start off by saying this: i am about 275 pounds, 5'5, and wear a size 24. so...i am fat. but, i don't think i have the same perception of being fat as some people do. to me, it is not a negative; rather, a variable in people just as height, race, sex, etc. are. i have always been fat. my parents are fat, and their parents were fat. i guess if i really wanted to change, i could, but as a student double-majoring in molecular biology and women's studies, holding a part-time job, and going pre-med (not to mention time dedicated to my social life, my family, my spiritual and religious values, and my precious blogging time), losing weight is not really part of the equation right now. i don't think there's anything wrong with being fat. i have fat friends, and a quite handsome fat boyfriend. it has taken me ten years to be comfortable with my body, and i guess i just am proud of that fact. the reason that i do use "the fat girl" as my psuedonym on this blog is mainly to protect myself (i'm sure as hell not putting my real name up there), but to also give a little background for some of the posts i write. i definitely need to start doing more fat issues on here...

anyways, the point is that i am proud to be fat. i love my rolls and i love myself. i hope that answers everyone's questions...

btw, i was not the first (and most definitely not the only) female blogger who labels themselves as fat. if you're interested, i think i have a few fat women's blogs on my blogroll. if they aren't to your liking, i'm sure you can find a bunch more through your search engine of choice.

oh, i saw hancock tonight. mr. smith did an AMAZING job...loved it :D

rumble

2008-06-28T19:08:00.000-07:00

my parents have had marital problems since i can remember, and i have had problems with my mother since i found the courage to speak out against her random outbreaks of rage. so, it didn't really bother me that much when she tried to antagonize me this afternoon. to be honest, i can't point out exactly what i said that offended her so, but offend her i did; and boy, did i hear about it.

for the last eight years, my mother has been the main breadwinner of our family which has created many dysfunctional financial dynamics between us all. i'm pretty sure that's why i was so bent on finding my own job or source of income. it scared me to think that this unstable woman had a complete economic hold on my life, and i had nothing to do about it. fortunately, i now have access to my college fund and other monies in my savings account.

sadly, i'm pretty certain that this is what keeps my father from divorcing her. he has no independent source of income, save for some money he had prior to the surgery that left him unemployed. he says that he also stays for me, to make sure that i will have a father; but to be quite honest, part of me wishes there was some way for him to leave. thank god i have college coming up.

i will not go into a diatribe on the fear, distrust and disdain i feel for my mother, only to say that there are valid reasons that i will not publicly list. i know that there are some people who wish they could say they had a mother at all. i know there are some people who will read this and feel that i am a spoiled brat, or some other more vicious expletive. i invite these people to step into my shoes. the grass is always greener, but sometimes the gardener is meaner...if that makes any sense.

no, i don't want an apology from her. i just want out.

before i go, has don imus lost his fucking mind? oy vey dude. oy vey.

btw, here's his rebuttal. i guess he's trying to gain some sort of credibility from his black co-host. even if we were to weigh the scales in his favor and say he was making some sort of misguided political commentary, i just believe it would be quite wise to keep as far away from any type of racial comments for...i don't know...forever?