The First Awkward Steps

Married?!

noreply@blogger.com (Sean) — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 11:44:38 PDT

Wow... we are married now :)

This is awesome!

A Burden to God? (How Christ Loves the Church...)

noreply@blogger.com (anointed_for_his_service) — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 10:28:02 PST

[Heather]

Do you ever feel like you are a burden to people or to God?

Call me crazy, but God and I had a conversation during Thanksgiving break about this.
It came up because Sean and I were talking one night about how I was feeling like I was a burden to him and didn't want to be...
There came a point where Sean prayed for me and then in perfect timing left me to be with Jesus for a while.
Here's an excerpt from our conversation:

"Do you feel like you are a burden to Me?"
>yes<
"How could you be?"

*I so appreciate how patient God is with us and how He takes the time to ask us questions that He already knows the answers to... He listens to us even though He already knows far more than we could even think we do... Thank you Father.*

"A man is to sacrifice for his bride the same way Christ sacrifices for His Church. There are times when the Church must sacrifice, many small things for a-the greater joy, but they are each in response to the love first shown [the Church].

This is why the man is to initiate the pursuit-why he is the one to protect, to fight for; to provide for. I have created him for the specific purpose of showing My nature toward a woman-the woman of his choosing, his wife, his bride; his joy and delight.

I created him for this. By not allowing him to fulfill this role; this nature, you deprive Me the witness and yourself the love. Don't deprive Me of My glory. He is my glory as you are his. Without this, people would not understand..."

He went on to explain how this relationship... even these beginning stages of romance are for the specific purpose of exemplifying the Gospel.
God is so good...
And I am so grateful...
Thank You Jesus for choosing me to be part of Your Bride...
For loving me...
For caring for me...
And for providing this example of You in a man who loves and is passionate about You...
...Thank You...

Attacks and Triumphs

noreply@blogger.com (Sean) — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 17:21:05 PDT

[sean]

I have so enjoyed the Lords guidance and wisdom during times when we are blinded to the attacks and manipulations of the enemy.

Heather and I have been deceived.; we had been living with the thought that we are in control when, in reality, we were being only a puppet on a string. The enemy had been dividing us. Instead of praying for the things God has been specifically calling us to pray for (our families, those around us and increased devotion and unity with the Lord) we have been praying for our own needs. Now, before any thoughts come to your minds about how it is "okay to pray for your own needs" and the likes I want to say this, there is nothing wrong with praying for our own needs - except when that is all we pray for and we know God has called us to more. You see, the enemy hit me hard - I wasn't in a place of "doubt" but I was getting so worn down that neither of us were getting healed; it was causing me to loose faith. But the Lord gave me vision and explained to me the works of the enemy.

We are now planing an attack on the strongholds of the enemy's camp. He is going down... but not just "down" he will be destroyed. I was reading in Psalm 18 the other day and the Lord spoke this over me -

31 For who is God besides the LORD ?
And who is the Rock except our God?
32 It is God who arms me with strength
and makes my way perfect.
33 He makes my feet like the feet of a deer;
he enables me to stand on the heights.
34 He trains my hands for battle;
my arms can bend a bow of bronze.
35 You give me your shield of victory,
and your right hand sustains me;
you stoop down to make me great.
36 You broaden the path beneath me,
so that my ankles do not turn.
37 I pursued my enemies and overtook them;
I did not turn back till they were destroyed.
38 I crushed them so that they could not rise;
they fell beneath my feet.
39 You armed me with strength for battle;
you made my adversaries bow at my feet.
40 You made my enemies turn their backs in flight,
and I destroyed my foes.
41 They cried for help, but there was no one to save them—
to the LORD, but he did not answer.
42 I beat them as fine as dust borne on the wind;
I poured them out like mud in the streets.
45 They all lose heart;
they come trembling from their strongholds.
46 The LORD lives! Praise be to my Rock!
Exalted be God my Savior!

They shall know the truth and the truth shall set them free.

We are not weakling little Christians! We are more powerful than we could ever imagine! God has given us the victory we yearn for!

So we are preparing for a siege - a strategic attack on the strongholds that have been bunkered into our homes for years... but not for much longer.

Date nights are turning into planing nights; prayer time before bed have become times to seek the Lords wisdom in this campaign - and the enemy is ticked off! We have been under such attack since we have seen this - but as with Job - we are only going through this because the Lord is confident that we can handle it and tear the enemy to shreds.

Be in prayer... we are ;)

vulnerability

noreply@blogger.com (anointed_for_his_service) — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 17:27:14 PDT

[Heather]

So, I wrote this a while ago but didn’t have a chance to post it. Here ya go…

/ˈvʌlnərəbəl/ Pronunciation Keyvul·ner·a·ble (vŭl'nər-ə-bəl) adj.

Susceptible to physical or emotional injury.

Capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt, as by a weapon: a vulnerable part of the body.

trans·par·ent (trāns-pâr'ənt, -pār'-) adj.
Easily seen through or detected; obvious: transparent lies.
Free from guile; candid or open: transparent sincerity.
Open; frank; candid: the man's transparent earnestness.

can·did (kān'dĭd) adj.
Frank; outspoken; open and sincere: a candid critic.

Free from reservation, disguise, or subterfuge; straightforward: a candid opinion.

Archaic. clear; pure.

in·ti·ma·cy (ĭn'tə-mə-sē) n.

A close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group

A close association with or detailed knowledge or deep understanding of a place, subject, period of history, etc.: an intimacy with Japan.

Close or warm friendship; "the absence of fences created a mysterious intimacy in which no one knew privacy"

This is a lot harder of a choice to live out than it may seem sometimes.

Sean and I got in a very intense discussion recently… I would not classify it as a fight because of the fact that we were not attacking or fighting each other, however it was a conflict of communication. We worked through it—asked the questions that ripped both of our hearts raw and exposed everything that was inside (pertaining to the subject).

It was really hard, to put it mildly.

Afterwards, I just wanted him to hold me and to cry. And I did cry. A couple of times.

I am realizing more and more how the above are really the center of your relationship between each other. Obviously the center of our relationship is God. Period. He is our Foundation, He is our Reason, He is our Everything. And then there’s this thing called each other. With each other, the center of our relationship—at the very core are these things called being transparent, being vulnerable, being candid, and being intimate. Knowing each other so well that we know when something’s up. Not faking what’s going on, but rather, no matter how much it may sting and hurt and how much you may cry…it’s the process of sharing your life with another person.

It’s good, it hurts, it has it’s perks, you will cry, but it’s all worth it. At the end of the day I have no regrets that someone knows me so well that they can look at me and know that something’s up or that I’m full of joy.

”Don’t settle for peace when you can have fellowship.”

Communication 101

noreply@blogger.com (Sean) — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 19:30:36 PDT

[sean]

We had a great talk tonight during dinner; how do we like to be communicated to? I know that I am a pretty cut and dry kind of guy; I like to have someone tell me what they are thinking, or tell me what I am doing wrong rather than "beating around the bush".

Sometimes I just need to talk - I don't need any advice or sympathy, just someone to listen. Let me get it all out and I am generally pretty good. Sometimes journaling works for this but I usually have to have a person physically there. Heather has been great with this. I have never been around someone who listens as well as she does!

Being male I also want to fix everything. If you come to me with a problem or something that you are struggling though I want to give you a way to solve the problem. If Heather is sick I want to find out what is causing her to be sick and find a way to battle against that specific illness. When her back is hurting so bad that her arm goes numb I want to rub her back until I can't use my hands if it will make her feel better.

I may not be the typical "guy" but there are still parts of my mind and the way I process that are, overtly, male... and thats okay. Women want to talk it through... men want to take action.

It is interesting learning this stuff now and seeing how much better we are communicating because of it. :)

Time spent

noreply@blogger.com (Sean) — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 17:01:21 PDT

[sean]

Heather and I are doing great; just wishing we could spend more time together. We see each other at work every day but that doesn't count. We try and get off campus every chance we can get but it is only after the two of us are done with TM that we are going to be able to really develop this relationship. I find it interesting; we are growing so much because of the place we are at here, it has forced us to mature in our relationship very quickly and has been a huge blessing, but at the same time... we are hindered from fully expressing our love for each other. The no PDA thing on campus is good for the interns and it is good to keep our standard as high as it is... but sometimes I just want to hold her... sometimes all she needs is me to hold her... and I can't. God has taught me a lot through that in trusting Him to be her comfort when I can't be.

God is good... I need to trust Him more though.

Who do I trust?

noreply@blogger.com (Sean) — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 12:52:56 PDT

[sean]

If I can't trust Him... and I can't trust her... who can I trust?

I have found myself in a place where I don't seem to have a solid foundation of trust built in my relationship with God and, therefor, nor do I have it in my relationship with Heather.

I have had a hard time releasing her to do the things God is calling her into because of my own fears and lack of trust in her being able to take care of herself and make good decisions. I am truly sick of this behavior... this sin. I need to destroy these lies before this relationship can really progress; it holds us at a standstill... and when we don't have flow in our relationship it runs the risk of stagnation. I will not have a stagnant relationship!

That simple, but true, verse in Proverbs 3 runs through my mind:

"Trust in the Lord with all of your heart
and lean not on your own
understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge Him,
and he will make your paths
straight."

Do I really trust Him? If I can't trust Him I can't trust her. I am learning this... slowly... but I am learning this. This isn't one of those "this is how it is done" posts... this is a "here is where I am right now" post. No "answers" to this just yet... but I am sure I will have some wisdom to pour out soon!

Guard, Cherish, & Protect His Heart...

noreply@blogger.com (anointed_for_his_service) — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 12:53:40 PDT

[heather]

This reminds me of something my CA, Shayna, used to mention to us... and something I am realizing more and more now being in a romantic relationship. We really do guard and protect the most vital part of a man--his heart...
Enjoy.

Woman

When I created the heavens and the earth, I spoke them into being.
When I created man, I formed him and breathed into his nostrils.
But you, Woman, I fashioned after I breathed the breath of life into man because your nostrils are too delicate.
I allowed a deep sleep to come over him so I could patiently and perfectly fashion you.
Man was put to sleep so he could not interfere with the creativity.
From one bone I fashioned you.
I chose the rib, which protects his heart and lungs and supports him, as you are meant to do.
Around this bone I shaped you.
I molded you.
I created you perfectly.
Your characteristics are as the rib, strong yet delicate and fragile.
You provide protection for the most delicate organ in a man... his heart.
His heart is the center of his belonging; his lungs hold the breath of life.
The rib cage will allow itself to be broken before it will allow damage to the heart.
Support the man as the rib cage supports the body.
You were not taken from his feet to be under him, nor were you taken from his head to be above him.
You were taken from his side, to stand beside him and be held close to his side.
Your lips, how lovely when they part in prayer.
Your nose, so perfect in form; your hand so gentle to touch.
I've caressed your face in your deepest sleep; I've held your heart close to mine.
Adam walked with me in the cool of the day, and yet he was lonely.
He could not see me or touch me.
He could only feel me.
So everything I wanted Adam to experience with me, I fashioned in you: my holiness, my strength, my purity, my love; my protection and support.
You are special because you are an extension of me.
Man represents My image...
...Woman, my emotions.
Together you represent the totality of Me.
So man, treat woman well.
Love her and respect her, for she is fragile.
In hurting her, you hurt Me.
What you do to her, you do to Me.
In crushing her, you only damage your own heart, the heart of your Father, and the heart of her Father.
Woman, support man.
In humility, show him the power of emotion I have given you.
In gentle quietness, show your strength.
In love, show him you are the rib that protects his inner self.

Sunrise Sunset

noreply@blogger.com (Sean) — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 09:45:01 PDT

[sean]

It is funny how we perceive things. We can really only understand as much as we can receive at the moment. It is like this...

2 weeks from now I will look at how I see Heather right now and laugh, "I thought that I knew about love then? What a JOKE! How could I have even had a glimpse of what it is back then?". Two weeks from then I will say the same thing... and two weeks from then... and twenty years from then!

It is like a sunset. Every night I watch the sunset and think to myself, "How could God create a more beautiful sunset? Surely this is the most magnificent sunset He has ever authored!"; the next evening I find myself in awe of a sunset that is beyond comparison to the one I had seen the night before and wonder to myself, "How could I have ever thought that last evenings sunset was the greatest? How could I have know about the beauty of this one?".

It is like the book The Voyage of the Dawn Treader by C.S. Lewis. At the end of the book [spoiler] the crew of the Dawn Treader are heading to the end of the world. As they cross the sea they notice the sun has been larger and brighter (though not hotter) than normal, almost too much to bear. Then they drink the sweet water of the sea that gives them a vigor and strength almost unbearable (the water, as well, not only quenches their thirst but their hunger as well). The thing that I relate to in this chapter is that from that point on, after they have drank from the sweet water of the sea (okay... lets be honest here... it is the LIVING WATER... DUH) they can now stare directly into the sun without squinting or having to look away... everything seems brighter but they can handle it... everything continues to get brighter and more intense around them but they have no more difficult time seeing it yet they can recognize that there is more to what is being received.

This is like the Love of God; we catch a glimpse of it yet believe it to be more than we could ever imagine... but it is only the beginning. As we progress in our relationship with Him He shows us more and more, but never more than we can actually receive. I think I have a small grasp of it now... but it is nothing in comparison.

I think this will continue in Heaven as well... all of Heaven still cries HOLY HOLY HOLY... that is just ONE facet of His being... and they have been singing about it FOREVER!

Just a thought :)

Communication

noreply@blogger.com (Sean) — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 09:50:55 PDT

[sean]

I just heard a quote in a sermon I am listening to by Larry Ballard (from the YWAM Foundations Podcast) on the "Four Pillars of Unity"; "The key to communication is not mutual agreement, but mutual understanding."

It isn't that we have to always be in agreement (although the more often that happens the better) but it is that we are to be "on the same page" and understand what is going on from both sides.

Once we finish the book we are reading right now (I, Isaac, take thee Rebekah by Ravi Zacharias) we will be moving on to the book Communication: Key to Your Marriage by H. Norman Wright. Communication is such a huge part of our relationship and learning how to do it is going to help save us many unneeded tears and arguments.

More on that later :)

...fight thousands for my love...

noreply@blogger.com (anointed_for_his_service) — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 10:28:06 PDT

[heather]

I am learning what it means to be protected and fought for. I must say that this is a wholly new experience in itself.
I've always had to fight for and defend myself. Now, I am learning how to not only allow but also appreciate a man who seeks after the Lord to step into the role of a protector and defender... a role the man in a woman's life was meant to fill.

Watching Sean step out in this specific way has reminded me of how women emasculating men and men disrespecting women is a lifestyle in our culture. We don't even really notice it anymore save for extreme circumstances. I have caught myself saying or doing the same thing(s) or starting to and have had to stop and make the conscious decision to trust--putting my hope in Christ.

Women desire men to stand up and fight for them. Unfortunately they (and when I say "they" I mean "we") frequently negate that by not allowing men to be men... out of fear. The fear that they won't step up and protect us due to complacency, comfort, or apathy in their lives or the fear that the pain we've experienced in the past will be relived often comes between us and truth/freedom.

We as women have been taught to fail to give men the chance to learn and grow mature in their manhood. (Maturity is a process that takes time.) Men have learned to either succumb to the emasculation in passivity or reject it with aggressiveness and violence. In the meantime, we both shortchange ourselves... men in not understanding the true strength they were created with and women by not allowing ourselves to act as women as we try to take on both roles (and fail miserably at it).

Men, I will leave it to Sean to encourage you to step into what you were created for. Know that you have been equipped and called for this purpose. Seek the Lord for the wisdom and direction to step out in confidence and humility... He will not go back on His promise to meet you when you are serious about seeking Him.

Ladies, take a step back, and give them the room to step up and be the man/men God created. Give them time to make mistakes and learn how to do it right. Don't try to take over the moment they make a mistake--support them, pray for them, and help them get back onto their feet. Complaining of lack of action or cutting them when they're down will only keep them down; make them want to never act for fear of being hurt--your words are powerful. Encourage them. Build them up, and remember that you make plenty of mistakes yourself.

To both, don't be afraid to trust... to put your heart out there. To walk out in confidence and humility. Put your hope in God. Trust the Lord with your heart, and guard it with all diligence. Guard your heart... don't keep it guarded. There's a very big difference between the two. Be diligent with it, but don't hide it for the world to never see.

Purpose to fall in love with Jesus primarily. Until you are truly in love with Him, you will not be ready for the love of a man or a woman. We cannot put our hope in mankind. We cannot depend on their affirmation or partnership to keep us going. We must be firmly grounded and rooted in Him. Men and women alike will fail; will falter. This is why we hope in God and trust Him to lead and guide those who lead us.

Ladies, learn what it means to be a lady. Allow men to defend your honor. Allow them to protect you when they can. Allow them to cherish you (in the right timing)... to tell you you're beautiful and stunning and breathtaking... and choose to believe it... no matter how hard it is to swallow when you have a hard time picturing it yourself. We have been told many lies, from the culture; from our families, and they need to be replaced with the Truth of how God sees us. The men of God in our lives have been equipped to bring these things; His perspective into the light.

To both, allow the Lord to be your lover first and foremost. If/when He brings a man or woman into your life to step into a physical representation of this character trait of God, accept it.

Lady. Woman. Feminine. Our perception of the meaning of these words have become so tainted and tarnished... We don't have to be able to beat up all the neighbor boys, live and breathe a corporate world and hold our own in it, or do everything men can do better. We are not equal in sameness. We are equally valuable in our differences. One gender is not better than the other--they were created for two specific; distinct purposes that cannot be fulfilled by either if the roles are reversed.

It is so beautiful to live life the way God intended it to be...

pwned the devil

noreply@blogger.com (Sean) — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 17:21:28 PDT

[sean]

So I have been learning a lot lately about how to fight for Heather. I have come to conclude that it would be a whole lot easier if this were a battle of flesh and I just had to beat things up... but it's not. I have been pushed so much more in my prayer life to fight than ever before. It isn't just fighting for her though... i.e. if this relationship were to end for some reason it isn't because of her that I am fighting... it is because of her I am learning.

So I fight...

"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." -Ephesians 6:12

...and I fight some more...

"We don't fight people... we fight strongholds" - Beth Powell

...and He listens to the cries of my heart... and answers.

Fight for her men. Fight for her because her life does depend on it.

noreply@blogger.com (anointed_for_his_service) — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 12:48:36 PDT

[heather]

Wow. It's crazy to think that it's been over a month already. This month has been one of the most amazing and stretching and growing times in my life. I am learning so much about the Lord and the way He interacts with us... how He sees the Church, and how the Church is to respond to His initiation... His pursuit... 'probably more about that later.

Things I've learned so far:

I am incredibly selfish.
God is incredibly good.
Sean is incredibly patient. (or at least well on his way in learning to be!)
My flesh needs to die daily... momentarily.
Pursuing a relationship is like praying for God to refine you... :) It's hard and painful at times, but wonderful and so worth it.
Time is sooooo short. Cherish each season; each moment.
Have clear set boundaries and a firm foundation in your relationship with the Lord/life/etc. before you get into a relationship. I am so grateful for the years of preparation the Lord led me through, firming my faith/hope in HIM; etc.
As soon as you become a boyfriend/girlfriend, you lose your ability to consistently be in your right mind. Set habits and guidelines in play prior to entering this new season and commitment that you want to shape your life. I am so grateful for the habits I've set in prayer life; etc...
Real friends are not afraid to call/question you on any hint of compromise they see in your life.
"Do not awaken love before it is time..." Ladies, wait for the right time. "The right thing in the wrong time is the WRONG THING." Be excruciatingly picky. Don't be afraid to be single for a while; even a long while. It's so worth it... SOOO worth it.
Seek advice from everyone, and find mentors. Watch the lives of older married couples who've stuck it out and love each other more passionately and maturely than when they were dating/courting.

"Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires.

Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you. He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn, and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun.

Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act..."

-Psalm 37:4-7a, NLT

How DID Christ love the church?

noreply@blogger.com (Sean) — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 08:01:22 PDT

[sean]

So I have been reading/studying recently about how Christ loved the church as we men are told to love our wives (or girlfriends in my case). The text is based off of Ephesians 5:25-27 which says "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her;" and has made an amazing change in my life and the way that I express my love for Heather.

A few of my notes: *they may look long but are TOTALLY worth the read guys*

Sacrificial: Christ was willing to give everything He had for the well being of His bride the church. Husband's should be willing to die for the protection and support of their wives.

Gracious: (Romans 5:8) Husbands are to grant their wives honor, she is your partner, bone of your bone, the love of your Life! Give all that you have for her joy, has not Jesus done this for us?

Patient: (1 Corinthians 13:7-8) Husbands should be patient with their wives, allowing them time for Christ to be formed in them. When a husband is impatient with his wife, his love fails.

Kind: (Romans 8:28) He seeks her highest good, and her joy - no matter the cost. Husbands should speak kindly to their wives. Husbands should practice kindness.

Meek & Gentle: (Matthew 11:29-30) Husbands must be gentle with their wives. They are precious gifts from God, made of "sugar and spice and everything nice". They aren't your hunting buddies! A godly husband treats his wife tenderly.

Sincere: (Romans 12:9-10) He loves in deed and in truth (1 John 3:18), not with a mask on the outside and grumblings in His heart. If a husband has an insincere love, although he will try to cover up his wicked heart and plat the part, on the outside it will be quite obvious that his love is hypocritical for he will have true lack of affection, and devotion to his wife's joy.

Selfless & Serving: Christ's love does not seek its own, but rather the benefit of its object. he was willing to humble Himself and serve the ones He loved. This was none to His benefit, except the joy that it brought His beloved.

LOVE IS A CHOICE: I have learned so much about this lately! Love is primarily an act of the will. It requires ACTION. Love is a commitment rather than a feeling. God is not demanding an emotion from us but rather an ACTION motivated by the will. (Colossians 3:19) Husbands should "not be embittered against their wives"this is very destructive. Although she falls short of his favor in her practices, in position before Him she is "holy and blameless" and "in all of her glory." (Ephesians 5:28-30)

The First Awkward Steps

noreply@blogger.com (Sean) — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 06:32:04 PDT

[Sean]

So Heather and I have been talking about writing a book on the first stages of a relationship; pursuit to courtship. We have looked all over and have come to conclude that there are very few good books on this subject, most focusing on dating (or not dating) or marriage.

We will be using this place as a sounding board for the things God has been teaching us through this stage of our relationship and then, as time progresses, the stages to come.

I hope anyone who reads this is found blessed and leaves encouraged.

-Sean