And hard.

But good.

Everything aches; I mean everything. My hair hurts. The tips of my toes are numb. Everything in between is ready to go to bed for three days, at least. Alas, not gonna happen.

Today we cleaned out our little rental unit that we got shortly after we moved here (seven years ago) because we do not have an attic. We frequent it about once every two months to swap out some seasonal items. I have also been storing a few boxes of items I knew were out there that I have never been able to use here in this house. (Not writing about that today.) It was situational, but they were things I had hoped we could use again some day. Right before Thanksgiving I told RevMrKnowTea that if the new job did not work out and we stayed here then I was ready to let go of those things and I wanted the rental unit cleaned out by Spring Break.

The new job did work out and we needed to clean it out anyway, but for different reasons. Today was the day. Yesterday we cleaned out the carport, let go of some things, and hauled off items that did not need to make the move. All in preparation for bringing the rental unit cargo to the carport for loading on the moving truck.

This really is happening!

I decided half of what was out there should go bye-bye anyway. I realized that even though I liked some of it that in the new house I already had a different vision of things and wouldn’t be able to use them anyway. So we donated it to the thrift store. I found a large cardboard box that had been hidden by the other boxes (some rubbermaid and such) whose contents had been mostly been ruined by bugs. Silverfish. Eww. I’m going to have nightmares tonight. Those things are creepy. Fortunately, they were fairly contained to that one area where the cardboard was.

It was hard to go through those things. It was a box that had gotten lost in the shuffle of our move here and all the depression and being chased out of town there and the forced situation. It was so much a sad time for our family. That box and a few others were reminders of that time. It hurt. It was sad. I found myself longing for the days before life broke us. I wanted to hold those days again. I wanted those days back for my older children. I wanted them not to have the memories of the sad days, the hard days, the days they saw their parents in such heartache. It made me so sad for what they have not had in their lives as a result of that painful time.

But it was good because we are different people. We are older. We are wiser (I pray). We are stronger. We are happier. We are better. God has grown us in a great many ways. We are looking forward to what is to come and how we may be used. God has been preparing us for a purpose while He used us here as well. He is in control of of both ends of this move and these decisions. I have been watching something unfold in His hand and it is a mighty thing, a daunting thing, an exciting thing to see.

I found a few treasures I had forgotten.
I looked at items that are going to get used and loved again.

One more major to do got checked off the list today.

I am excited.

Well, there is so much to do and I can not find time on the calendar to do it. We war brutal to ourselves today. We spent nine (yes, 9!) hours in the carport cleaning, sorting, packing, hauling, organizing today. We also cleaned out the garden. WAH! We borrowed a friend’s truck and hauled off three truck loads of stuff. Some of that went to the dump and some of that went to the thrift store. It was sad getting rid of some of it. Bikes and lawn equipment that needed repairing we decided to go ahead and get rid of them. It was a mix of outgrown bikes, 2 needed small repairs, a weed eater that always put me on the edge of thrown a few choice words around. These things would have remained if we were not moving; we would do the necessary repairs. The thought of repairing them now made me stressed with time. The thought of taking them to repair them on the other end of the move made me ill to think about paying for the weight and space to move them. So bye-bye.

AACHOO! excuse me. the dust and wind were bad today.

A good bit of stuff we decided we simply did not need in the new house. We do not have an attic here so our seasonal things (Xmas, Easter, Etc.) boxes are in the carport for the whole world to see. I took the time to sort through those and pack them a bit better to condense them into fewer boxes. I also wrapped some items better; packing them for storage in a closet or attic is different than making sure they can handle a move on a big bumpy truck ride. We decided no to take our big metal shelving unit that has housed them in the carport for seven years. I forced the boys to make hard decisions about all the sports equipment outside. If it did not fit or is getting used RIGHT NOW then we were not keeping it for the next child. It goes to someone it fits and can get used RIGHT NOW. I bribed them to let how of some things by promising that if and when the time came for the need for that equipment again that I would get it for them. Score 1 (or more) for me; the two little boys do not like baseball so all that stuff is gone!

AAACHOOO!! excuse me again.

We took all the stakes out of the garden; I left them in the ground this past growing season. We left the boxes in the garden so the next occupants can use them if they want to. I made Iain clean the tool room out and pack away his tools. He is a sad Iain. There is still a bit to do in there but it is only minor things about which RevMrKnowTea and I need to make decisions. I still need to find where to haul off the paint and stain cans we have; I do not want to move those. Why do we still have those anyway?

AAAAACHOOOOO!! sorry ’bout that.

I will not bore you with anymore, but my, my, my, what work we did today. My children were troopers; they really were. We were doing nasty grubby work and not one single complaint. I know they are mostly looking forward to our new adventure and they know this has to be done, but it is still nasty grody work. When we opened the storage containers with the Halloween decorations in it we found a few cans of Silly String left over from this past year. For the sake of being safe I decided it would not be good to transport the aerosol cans in the heat of the moving truck. So I broke up the work and monotony of it all with an attack on my children. Muahahaha! Then I tossed them the cans and said, “Go for it!” It was fun. And there was much rejoicing.

AAAAAAACHOOOOOOO!!! apologies. did you feel the earth move under your feet?

Thanks to the dust, the confused-plants-spitting-pollen-thanks-to-this-confusing-non-winter-weather-we-are-having, and the blustery winds, we are all hacking, sneezing, and generally feeling plumb wore out!

Now if you will excuse me, I am going to go take a Benadryl and put my feet up. G’night.

I will start with the kitchen and dining rooms. In the layout of the new house they may not be connected but they do relate to each other, n’est-ce pas?

Disclaimer: We know full well what we want to do may not happen right away or even at all. It is simply part of the dream we will work toward achieving.

kitchen

kitchen

First things first: The stove top must be replaced. The current one is actually only six years old and in fine working order. Why replace it? It is a smooth glass top stove. That right there will tell some of you who know me why. We have ruled out the expense (therefore possibility) of converting to a gas stove top so give me the old fashioned coils. The main reason – I am too much of a cast iron cook to want to be anywhere near a glass stove. I would rather give up a smooth stove top than my cast iron. Besides, the only advantage I see to a smooth top is the ease of cleaning it. That is not enough for me.

psst. over here. what i really want is an induction cooktop. they work wonderfully well with cast iron. ahh, the dream. it’s ok to dream.

I do believe the stove top currently installed is a 30 inch, but I hope to be having a 36 inch installed. The advantages are that the old style coil stove tops are much less expensive. Maybe we can sell the glass top stove on craigslist to recoup or even pay for a new stove top. While I would love this cooktop that is not in the budget, I will probably be going with something much more affordable like this.

The double oven is old, but works. A kitchen without a place for a double oven was almost a deal breaker when we were house hunting. Seriously. I love my double oven! We have set a goal to get a bigger, newer one installed. By Thanksgiving. You guys remember what big birds I cook, right? I’m pretty sure we can get one a couple of inches bigger. I will know better once we get moved in and get the space properly measured. If we can’t, we can’t. As long as it works it will be fine.

I will eventually be stripping the wallpaper and bringing that a little more into this century. Paint as well. Cosmetics. In due time, in due time. I am still not sure what color(s) I want to go with in here. It will be white and something. I am thinking yellow with blue. I am quite open to suggestions. Although if truth be told I adore a white kitchen! When shown pictures, my eyes always go to the white kitchen. See what I mean? If you seen some images or designs that you would like to share I would love to see them. Link me up in the comments. Pinterest here I come!

If I can ever save enough I want new countertops. I will research that at a much later date. But I am seriously leaning towards granite and the silver/grey family. Probably a soft neutral color though not opposed to a contrasting dark counter with a pale color where the current wallpaper is.

eating area

dining room

The problem with starting over is the money to start over, especially enough to supply a family of eight. Simply because my mind is wrapped up in it right now and I can not seem to chase it away I am going to dream a bit right now. Indulge me. Maybe when I go to the thrift store this weekend I will buy a pair of pants that has a winning lottery ticket in it. I still live in Louisiana after all. HA!

boxes, boxes everywhere

Here is a room by room list:
the den/my bedroom
Keep: a rocking chair that came over from Scotland with ancestors, my husband’s dresser, my dresser, the oak quilt trunk (bought at a garage sale), the TV, Wii, computer
Toss: the lingerie chest (don’t need it in new house anyway), the love seat (stinks, stained, too small), the pink rocking chair (broken anyway), the nightstand the TV is on, our bed (really) is being held together by duct tape and propped by boxes and bricks; the mattress is old and not worth moving

the kitchen/eating area
Keep: the china shelves/cabinet thing that was my grandmother’s (needs refinishing), pretty much all my cookware and small appliances, my pewter serving pieces, favorite coffee cups, the stemware, some of the silverware (the good stuff, not the walmart additions to have enough)
Toss: the dishes (yes, really) are all chipped or cracked, glasses (also chipped),
Questionable: We will need a new table soon; ours is not very stable with the leaf in it and it has a major sag in the middle with the leaf as well. Without the leaf it is not large enough for guests. Not big enough for the dining room and too big for the eat-in area.

the girls’ room
Keep: most of their clothes and their books and things
Toss: the wobbly cheap bunk beds, the mattresses they have each had since sans crib and they say are very uncomfortable, the dresser with broken drawers that will not close; the particle board bookcase that will not survive a move anyway, the two small folding tables they use as desks

the boys’ room
Keep: Iain’s captain’s bed and his dresser are good (they are both broken and need work but they are nice pieces of furniture that simply need some love), Iain’s writing desk
Toss: The double bed was mine, was someone else’s for years before that and it is finally showing its age, the mattresses to the double have springs poking through, the dresser Bairno uses is very nice, but it needs to go back to its original owner (Bairno has never been able to open the drawers by himself and I need him to have some independence with getting dressed and putting away his clothes)

Lottie’s room
Keep: her bed and mattresses, her dresser, the wooden doll cradle
Toss: the wooden dress up box is broken (discovered yesterday), probably fixable but not do able before we leave.

sewing room/biz stuff
Keep: cutting table, sewing machine desk, two sewing machine cabinets, my sewing machines, fabric and supplies
Toss: plastic containers, cheapo plastic and wire shelves
Questionable: the lare rolltop computer desk; it is solid oak and HEAVY!!! Must be moved in three parts and it is still HEAVY in three parts!!!

Around and elsewhere
Keep: the books, the 4 wooden bookshelves, the games, the tools, the lawn stuff, very little of our clothes (we all need some presentable clothes – most of ours are hole-y or extremely well worn looking)

We are making hard decisions around here, getting rid of things left and right, and doing without. Stayed tuned tomorrow to read some of what we really are doing and other decisions we have made.

So tell me, whether you are moving or not, if you had the opportunity what would you really toss or do over in the decorating and furnishing department? These could be items you decide you really do not need or items you need the function but wish you could replace with something better or more your style. Have you ever actually tossed most of it and started over? Come on, ‘fess up. I know I am not the only one that dreams a little. Leave me a comment or write your own blog post and link it here.

I snatched these photos from a real estate web page. I will have my own soon. We have a lot of work to do, but none of it seems incredibly daunting. Time consuming for sure, but not undoable. I think the hardest thing to do will be new floors. Everywhere there is carpet we will put down some type of Pergo, hardwood, or cork flooring. I’m thinking dark dark dark. I love dark floors, white trim and light colored walls. I absolutely can not stand yellow wood. If it hints of yellow no thank you. Browns with reds for me, thank you.

If you make it to the end, there is a surprise. No peeking!

So here we go on a little tour of the house.
1. First up as you enter the driveway which is practically a parking lot. The front of house (4 car carport to the left). There’s a little courtyard area at the entrance. By next year maybe I’ll know what I want to put there. I am not a fan of boxwoods so those might go.

front of house

2. A little sitting spot off the carport. I can’t wait to put in a butterfly and hummingbird garden in this area.

sitting spot

3. The kitchen: It’s hard to tell in the photo but the backsplash all around the counters is done in silver ceiling tiles. It’s pretty awesome looking in person. I need to update the colors to my style/liking but it’s big space. The end of the counter that is in the forefront of the photo houses a trash compactor that will have to go. Those things require special expensive bags and all the ones I ever knew of were always breaking. It is going to be replaced with an ice maker. Nugget ice anyone?

kitchen

kitchen

kitchen

5. The dining room. The carpet will be the first thing to go. Not only do I hate carpet (two of us with severe allergies and asthma), but whoever thought it was a good idea to put carpet in a dining room was not thinking about spills. Maybe that person is not clumsy or ever had children. Yeah, the carpet must go. (Besides, I don’t like the color.)

dining room

6. Den/Family room. I wish those couches came with the house. We will be sitting on the floor for a while until we can get some proper furniture.

den / family room

den / family room

7. Game room. LOOK AT THAT SPACE! This room runs more than half of the length of the back of the house. The children are thrilled to have a place for housing games and such, but they were disappointed the ping-pong table and foosball table weren’t going to stay. Maybe someday we’ll be able to get one. This picture does not do the space justice! To the right is the dining room and that doorway is the living room. Oh and off to the left of this room is an equally, actually bigger, screened in porch. To the right is the dining room and the living room.

game / play room

8. The Living room. This room is rather large, about the size of a two car garage. To the right is the dining room and the center door leads to the front hall and front door.

living room

9. THE BACK PORCH. OHMYSWEETPICKLES! This porch is HUGE! It is the full length of the game room plus a bit. There are three doorways in and out of this porch to the house: one on either end of the game room and then one to the room that will be my sewing studio/office! SQUEE!

back porch

10. Office. Here it is! My new sewing and design studio. I can call it a studio, right? The door to the left leads to the back porch. I may just have to beg for my own private one cup coffee maker for my office so I can make a cuppa and sneak out to the porch without having to go to the kitchen. That’s probably too much isn’t it? My family might not ever see me again. ;)

office / future design studio

11. Master bedroom. The sewing studio is to the right of this room. There is a double doorway that leads into the master from the office. I would love to put some French doors in there as there is only a doorway. The carpet in those two rooms will go bye-bye as well.

master bedroom

12. Master bath. This is about 1/3 of the bathroom. The 2 closets and a built in dresser are to the left and the shower, tub and commode are through that door.

master bathroom

13. Bedroom #2 – The older girls’ room. This will probably be the older girls’ room. The navy blue will become a green and the football dude on the wall (you can’t see) apparently isn’t cute enough to stay and replaced with moss, mushrooms, faeries, and butterflies (or so I’ve been told). That door leads to their own bathroom complete with sink, vanity, tub/shower, commode, and closet.

bedroom 2

bathroom 2

14. Bedroom #3 – the boys’ room. This will become the boys’ room. They don’t like the brown. No big deal. This room is the mirror image of the girls’ room down to the bathroom and closet attached.

bedroom 3

15. Bedroom #4. This is a room currently being used for an office, but we will use it for a bedroom. The door you see leads to a bathroom and there is a small closet opposite that and a window to the left.

bedroom 4

16. Bathroom #4. This is the bathroom off the small bedroom. It’s a full bath with shower (no tub) but will also be the guest/public bathroom. The wallpaper will go away.

bathroom 4

17. The Laundry room. This laundry room is huge. That is a fold out ironing board in the wall and a tall area to the left for hanging clothes and to the right a shorter area. The little bit of desk you can see to the right is actually a built in sewing desk. There is a hole and proper placement for a sewing machine. A great place for mending items right there in the laundry room. What you can’t see is the rest of the area for the washer and dryer, the sink and folding counter are and built in shelves.

laundry room

18. Backyard. This is the back yard looking at the windows of the office and part of the back porch.

back porch view from back yard

back yard, fenced area

19. Shed. In the side yard there a nice, fairly large, shed. It’s wired for electricity and will probably become the oldest son’s personal playroom for his power tools. I have plans for him. Big, BIG plans. Muahahaha!

shed / Iaindescribable's news playroom

Now for those of you still here stalking our new digs checking things out, here’s a video tour. I’ve stripped the sound because it gave away too many specifics for [blogging] public consumption (like price, address, etc) and added music and some silly, some geeky, but mostly goofy notes.

I wanted to write. I wanted to share. I wanted to beg for prayers and friends to talk with and blog through the decisions and the journey. But I could not say. Too much was a stake. So many others to think about. And I could not say. My heart has ached. My heart has rejoiced. My heart has hid in fear. But I could not say. A few of you knew and even you did not know all. I thank my God for you. I thank you for not saying. I thank you for keeping the hearts of others. You are a gift in my life. I love each of you and thank God for putting you in my life. Your prayers and support have been felt and appreciated. This would not have happened without God’s hand in this.

I had one day in which I could not contain my joy for some good news we received. News that would change our lives in a positive way. News of something I thought would never happen for us again. I made a broad, cryptic update on facebook. It was torment for some of you, but I needed to rejoice from the rooftops and this was the closest I could come.

blurred for privacy

I am sorry for the cryptic message, but I so needed to scream for joy. The news? We were approved to buy a house. While this is usually good news for anyone it was practically a miracle for us. The combination of his 6 months of joblessness (7 years ago), bad decisions we made out of fear of no income, losing just shy of twenty thousand dollars when we moved here because of a bad real estate situation (us as the victims), having rented for 7 years putting us with no equity, combined with all the new laws because of the big bad misbehaving mortgage explosion in the banks made this quite the miracle. God’s hands have been guiding this all the way.

So on that day I was crying with the news we were pre-approved/qualified to buy a house. This was big news! I could not share that news because I would have to answer other questions such as: have you found a house, where are you looking, etc. Because those questions I could not answer either. I could not answer those questions because we had already found a house on which we wanted to make an offer. That house is in another town. In another state.

You see we are moving. My husband has received and accepted a call to another church. This info was not finalized until this past Friday, two days ago. We could not say anything until he told the church here. We not only owed them that, but they deserved to know from us, face to face. Some of the leaders knew RevMrKnowTea was looking and has been for quite some time. It has been too much of a financial hardship here. No medical care, no retirement, nothing other than paycheck to paycheck living. And some months we have had to depend on family elsewhere to get us through.

It is hard to be in a situation of ministry in which our level of ministry is limited because we are having to depend on others to minister to us. We want to be the giving ones. God has done mighty things over the past seven years. He has healed the hearts of the congregation here as they have sought to move on from a negative history within the life of this church and its past. He has healed our family’s hearts as we have grown from hurt and bitterness caused by [my] family and past job politics and hatred. We have grown. We have let go. We have moved on.

This time we have spent in the process of deciding to move on from this church and to another has taken some big turns. This has been difficult on many levels. The hardest has been the decision to leave the denomination we are currently in to join another we believe God has been pointing us toward for a while. We no longer believe we can stay in this branch of our denomination. We are Presbyterian. We are remaining Presbyterian. Just leaving one of the “sub-groups” to join another. For non-Presbyterians it could be confusing and mean nothing, but there has been some [sadly, negative] history between these two groups and it was better not to mess with trying to explain until it was done. Many will see this as we are turning our back on the PCA. We are not. We are moving where God has lead us. God has placed in our lives and our hearts people and situations that have changed us and some of our beliefs of grace and acceptance and tolerance and love. We have been fighting this within our current denomination for so long and God has moved us and our children on to something new and exciting and even a bit scary. I see some hard, heart changing challenges and lessons in my future. I will need to face some things head on. I pray He leads me through it gently or gives me the strength to blaze through the fire mightily that I will shine like polished refined silver.

It is done. This past Friday RevMrKnowTea was approved by a unanimous decision to be accepted into the new Presbytery after receiving and accepted a unanimous call from the new church. We have been treated like royalty. We have been loved on in the past couple of months already more than we ever have in our entire married and ministry years. God has prepared us both (our family and the new church) for this moment, like a marriage meant to be. Soon the wedding and then the feast! This new job will allow us to provide for our family. We will have medical insurance, retirement, disability, even dental. We will be able to buy shoes without forgoing groceries and the other way around.

This past Saturday (yesterday) we signed a contract on a house. A house that does not have black mold!!!! A house with a working furnace! A house with 4 bedrooms (enough square footage we will not be tripping over each other all the time), 2 acres, lemon trees, blueberry bushes, pomegranate trees, cherry trees, mulberry bushes, loquat trees, fig trees, and some other wonderful amenities that will bless our family and we hope others as well. Pictures soon I hope. We do not have a closing and moving date just yet, but it looks like the 2nd week of March at this point (or that middle weekend, actually).

We have been secretly on the road a good bit and are very tired. We are each emotionally spent and covet prayers for strength, health, and safety during this time. We ask that you would each pray for the church here as they move through the transitions here of being without a pastor and begin the process of seeking how to proceed with the next step in the life of the church here. We love them each and all and will miss them. RevMrKnowTea told the congregation here today so now we can speak openly.

More to come later. What questions do you have? I know you have some.

p.s. I wrote this quickly and did not check for typos, please forgive.

This started on Friday, December 9th when he went to bed early feeling poorly. By Monday I was worried about dehydration because he was not eating or drinking and when he tried he would lose it. He was given some medicine to help him keep liquids in with a recheck the next day to make sure he was able to do so and did not need to be admitted for dehydration.

So much of this has become a blur now. The coughing got worse and worse. He said his chest was hurting. We couldn’t keep him awake for much time at all. I was still having to coax him into eating and drinking. We couldn’t get his fever to break. His breathing was labored. I could go on, but you get the idea. The boy is sick. After a week, a Z-Pack, a few more visits, and ruling out both flu and strep we went back on Tuesday the 20th and an x-ray confirming my suspicions of pneumonia.

He was sent home with some meds and instructions. On Wednesday he sounded worse, looked worse, and this mama was scared. We called to talk to the doc to work him in and they were double booked, but we did not think he needed the ER. They made an appointment for Thursday and the doc was rather worried. She heard some heavy wheezing and whistling sounds often associated with lung collapse or on its way to collapse. She put him on a breathing treatment right away, followed by some physiotherapy, and another breathing treatment. He was sent home with a nebulizer and medication for breathing every 2-4 hours (preferably 2). Any other doctor most likely would have admitted him to the hospital. And she said any other patient/family and she would have admitted him. But she knew we would follow through and make sure he took his medicines and breathing treatments and she really did not want him in the hospital with all the other things in there (like flu and RSV).

He went back again this morning. She said his lungs are still wheezing, but they do not sound as stressed. The breathing treatments are working. YEA!!! We are still in scary zone because of relapse and he is basically under house arrest (to prevent him from getting anything else by exposure). He is not contagious. What ever bugs caused this are most likely contagious, but the pneumonia itself is not. Poor thing has had more antibiotics and meds in him than he’s had in his entire life total to this point, probably more than his life plus all five siblings total.

PNeumonia Boy is a real trooper though. The other day after sitting up for a while (he hadn’t felt like sitting up more than propped in over a week) I found him stretched out on the couch and I asked him if he was feeling worse again. His reply? “No ma’am. I’m just hogging the couch.” Then yesterday he asked how long he could get away with asking others to do things for him. His humor and charm are returning. Other than the frown he wears because he hates the nebulizer I have seen him smile today.

We are still in a scary zone and things are still rough, trying to prevent moving backwards, but this mama is feeling blessed. Thank you all for your prayers. Please keep praying for him.