The Fontenot Four

National Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Day 2015

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah {the fontenot four}) — Thu, 15 Oct 2015 05:10:00 +0000

October 15th is National Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day. In fact, the entire month of October is a month dedicated to awareness for this issue. I have shared my story in past posts, but today I am honoring my babies on this day.

Prior to the loss of our first child, a son whom we named Jeffrey, I never knew the significance of the month of October. I knew miscarriages happened. Even stillbirths, although those were even further removed from my frame of reference. In 2001, I was 22 weeks pregnant when I developed severe pre-eclampsia. My ob/gyn at the time failed to recognize what was going on; something which mystifies me even still. By the time she did take note, my condition was so severe that I was literally nearly at death's door. I was transferred to a much larger hospital and my case was handed over to a high-risk ob/gyn. During an ultrasound one morning shortly after I was transferred, no heartbeat was detected. Over fourteen years later, I can still place myself in that room and in that moment where we learned that our son had passed away. Our son would be stillborn. I was induced and delivered Jeffrey into this world without a breath or a cry late in the evening of August 14, 2001.

We were living in Houston, TX at the time. We joined a support group called H.A.N.D {Houston's Aid in Neonatal Death} shortly after the loss of Jeffrey. In my wildest dreams, I never imagined that such a group existed, much less that we would be joining it. While it was very difficult, there was comfort in knowing that we were not alone. The circumstances of loss varied, but the one thing we all had in common was that we were all brought together through the loss of a precious baby {or babies}. One of our leaders had a child who would then have been 8 years old and I remember thinking how well they were doing. At the time, I couldn't comprehend a world 8 years removed from the loss of our precious Jeffrey. It's been over 14 years for us now. I still don't understand why he was taken from us and how he isn't here with his family.

It took a long time to get pregnant again. The longer it took, the more everyone else around me seemed to be having babies. It's like the new car phenomenon - you get a new car and all of a sudden you see that car everywhere. Well, for me, I lost a baby and all of a sudden everywhere I turned was a pregnant woman. If you've experienced a loss, perhaps you can relate to how difficult that can be.

We did get pregnant again in 2003. In April of that year, my mom was visiting. I was newly pregnant and experiencing a range of emotions including being very nervous. One day, while we were at a big outlet mall in west Houston, I stopped in the restroom. I was absolutely shocked to discover I was having some bleeding. I was stricken with fear. My mouth went dry. I cried. I didn't know what was going on. Mom and I left the mall. I called Ron. It wasn't horrible bleeding, but I knew that it shouldn't be happening. When we got home, I called the doctor's office. I crawled in bed. And waited. Scared. Terrified. Crying. This could not be happening. Surely what I feared most was not happening. I agonized at the thoughts of what could be happening. What probably was happening. I did not want to lose another child! Late that evening, the bleeding got worse. Ron and Mom took me to the ER. I waited on a stretcher in my little curtained off area. Scared. I was just waiting for someone to come and see me. I had to go to the bathroom. That's when it happened. That feeling of having to go to the bathroom was really the actual physical delivery of that tiny precious baby. The miscarriage. I had to pass the nurse's station in the ER on my way back to my gurney, so I handed over that precious silent little life. Then a doctor came to examine me.

I truly wish now that I'd been where I am at today in my walk with Christ while all of this was going on. How much better my life post-loss could have been. However, everything happens according to God's plan and I trust now that there was a purpose for everything that happened between then and now. As I write this and reflect on all that has happened in our lives in the last several years, I don't understand it one bit, but I trust in God's plan. I can't see ahead to know what the plan holds for us - what joys or even challenges we have yet to face - but I trust Him. At the time, however, the miscarriage only caused me to distance myself further from Him. Looking back, I can confidently say that at the time I anguished over how unfair my life was. How it wasn't fair that everyone else got to have babies. How it wasn't fair that all kinds of horrible stuff only ever happened to us. Looking back, I made my life situation very much about me and not about God and what His plan might possibly have been. I did not put God first. I blamed God. I was furious with Him. I created a litany of horrible things that have happened throughout my entire life to justify why I was right in my thinking at that time. Everyone else continued to get pregnant and have beautiful and healthy kids. Not us. I wanted to give up. I hated my life. I hated what we'd been handed. I hated being 3 years into marriage and nearly having lost my own life twice and having lost two children. I hated everything.

I don't know if our second baby was a boy who would wind up looking just like his older brother or if it was a girl. I regret that our second baby has for years now has been called "the second baby" or "the baby we lost". I regret that that child has never been given a proper name. I always had a feeling like we should name the baby a name that would work for either a boy or a girl.

22 Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. 23 They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. {Lamentations 3:22-23, NIV}

God is merciful and compassionate. He is a loving God. I know now that He loved me through all of the trials we went endured at that time. I know He has loved me through all of the trials I've endured since that time. I know that He loves all of my children with unfailing love - whether they are present on this Earth with me now or with Him in heaven.

In the time that has passed since my losses, I have been blessed with two daughters - Moira in 2004 and Peyton in 2006 {who passed away on May 4, 2013 - 11 days short of her 7th birthday}. Moira will tell you all about her big brother even though she was born after he passed. We remember him every August 14th on his birthday. At Christmas, we always remember our babies in a special flower arrangement. No matter where we happen to be spending Christmas - at our home or elsewhere - there is always a bouquet of roses on display. There is no special treatment about the arrangement. It is there. We know what it signifies. It's just there. The arrangement consists of 6 pink roses - one rose for each month I carried Jeffrey. There are also yellow roses - one for every Christmas that has passed since he died. Since 2003, one white rose has been added each year. That solitary white rose is for our second baby. We have also included additional flowers in the arrangement since Peyton passed away in 2013.

My heart breaks for each and every one of you who have lost a child to stillbirth, miscarriage, illness, of any other reason. These children are a part of our families. A part of us. They are to be honored by us, particularly at this time during Infant Loss Awareness Month.

TODAY {AND ALWAYS} I HONOR:

JEFFREY GEORGE FONTENOT {8/14/01}

BABY FONTENOT {4/28/03}

27 I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. 28 So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD.” And he worshiped the LORD there. {1 Samuel 1:27-18, NIV}

28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. {Matthew 11:28-30, NIV}

www.october15th.com

Homemade Goodness: Banana Nut Bread

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah {the fontenot four}) — Mon, 14 Sep 2015 12:36:00 +0000

Today I am sharing a recipe that I have been making fairly regularly. Banana Bread. This recipe came to me via my mother in law years ago and we absolutely love it. It's so moist and so very delicious! I thought I would share it with you. I hope you enjoy it as much as we do.

Turning Trials into Success

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah {the fontenot four}) — Tue, 08 Sep 2015 13:19:00 +0000

Two years ago today, while base jumping in Venezuela... oh wait, my story is not that exciting.
Two years ago today, while getting myself up off my couch after having just completed a knitting project, I took a step, rolled my ankle, and went down. Before passing out on my neighbor who was sitting on the opposite couch, I heard a very loud pop. When I came to, I could hear Ron on the phone telling someone all my personal business. I remember thinking, hey, I'm on the floor here - who the heck are you talking to and what business is it of theirs what meds I'm currently taking??
He was on the phone with 911.
One ambulance right, IV pain meds, x-rays, a splint, and some crutches later, I was on my way home with a "bad sprain". I went home in considerable pain and in disbelief that my ankle was not broken.

September 2013

Less than a month later, my ankle would be refusing to heal, so I had an MRI. "Bad sprain" turned out to be torn tendons and ligaments which would require surgery. A date was set for right around my birthday in November.
This all took place four months after losing Peyton. So here I am laid up on the pull out sofa in her old room, unable to do much at all. I was in constant pain as I awaited my surgery date. If all of that weren't enough, one day in October, I experienced a different sort of pain - pain in my chest/lungs/back accompanied by an increasingly difficult time simply drawing breath. Having been down this road twice before, I immediately got myself cleaned up and dressed - because that's what you do when you are about to tell your husband to call 911 when you know your life is in imminent danger. Massive life-threatening blood clots in and spanning between both lungs. This wasn't my first rodeo so I knew what it was. The diagnosis did not surprise me. The fact that I was able to spew out a list of what I would want/not want in the event this turned bad kind of did surprise me. I spent a week or so in the ICU, in a boot, hobbling around in extreme pain from my as yet un-repaired messed up ankle.

December 2013 {post-surgery}

February 2014

March 2014 {enjoying a PT appointment}

April 2014 {feet up in our state room on the Carnival Glory - just a little swollen after a day's activities!}

Fast forward 8 months in time through surgery in December followed by months of physical therapy, I finally landed just where I wanted - at the highest weight ever in my non-pregnant life. I put the brakes on in August 2014 and started to work out with a trainer, sore ankle and all. I decided to "ease" into exercising by going with intense crossfit-style workouts - because why do anything half-way at this point??

Fast forward just over 12 months to today. I've been working out almost every single day (sometimes twice a day) for over 50 days. I've maintained a workout schedule for almost 13 months now. I have dropped 35 pounds (well it was 40, but some of it crept back on me). While I need to get the nutrition side of things back under control, I am - today - the healthiest and fittest ME I have EVER been in my life.
Surely I could have lived the past two years without all of these trials, right? However, given that my base jumping...err...knitting accident had to happen, I think I have turned this whole mess around. The depression that ensued after the loss of our daughter was partially responsible for me becoming the most sedentary person I've ever been. That wasn't good. The ankle injury only compounded that problem. For some reason unknown to all, this injury which was bad but not so bad in the grand scheme of things {per my orthopaedic surgeon} should not have caused me to have a massive pulmonary embolism, threatening my life. But it did. That certainly didn't help my physical status.
There comes a point in time when you have to step on that scale - literally and figuratively - and take stock at what's going on in your life. I was very fortunate to have recognized the trouble I was in with my weight before it went up another 0.2 lbs, which would have meant a very very depressing {for me} change in the numbers of my weight. I stopped in my tracks and realized something had to be done.
It's been nearly 13 months now and the transformation is remarkable. Except for the usual tiredness of a busy schedule, my sleep has improved to where I am no longer taking medication to help me sleep. I'd been through several meds over the past few years. While I can't say I'm "over" the depression side of things relating to the loss of Peyton, I don't think it's as bad. Yes, there are still bad days, but day to day isn't as bad. At least I don't think so. I have muscle. Who knew?!?! It's there and all these workouts are bringing them out. The habit was created long ago, but this has created a new lifestyle for me. I am generally happier when I've worked out. My ankle has improved tremendously. It was tough-going for a while there, but as it has healed, it has grown much much stronger as a result of the fitness regimen I have implemented. I don't have 100% range of motion yet, but the pain I would have every day is a thing of the past.
All of this is good.
All of this can be counted as success.
Is there room for improvement? Absolutely! Am I trying my best for where I am at today? Well, that's debatable, but I'm trying! With accountability partners, I can get back on track to where I need to be. The point is that I'm trying.
It doesn't matter how big or small the thing is. You can turn things around for good!
What can you count as a success today?

Ron, Moira and I in port in Cozumel, Mexico on our cruise
on the Carnival Conquest in April 2015

Thankful Thursday #147

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah {the fontenot four}) — Thu, 03 Sep 2015 12:11:00 +0000

thank·ful

adjective \ˈthaŋk-fəl\

: glad that something has happened or not happened, that something or someone exists, etc.

: of, relating to, or expressing thanks

Source

Welcome back for this week's Thankful Thursday post!

A little over a year ago, my daughter Moira began taking guitar lessons from one of the young guys who plays with our worship band at church. {Did I just say "young guys"?? That makes me sound old! Then again, relatively speaking...} Anyway, she absolutely loves Taylor Swift and wanted to play the guitar. I took music lessons when I was a kid and through high school, but it's been a long time since I played anything. I don't believe Ron every played anything at all. So it's not that Moira is coming from a long line of musical geniuses or anything, but it seemed to be of great interest to her, so we signed her up.

Moira's repertoire over the past year has included selections from various popular animated films, most recently "Let it Go" from the movie Frozen - the Demi Lovato version, not the Idina Menzel version. On that we must be clear! I have to say that any 20-something guy who is willing to teach a tween songs from Disney movies is tops in my book. Actually, he's very good with her regardless of song selections. We've tried to suggest that she go for some classic guitar pieces a la Eric Clapton or something from that genre to no avail.

Moira does, however, really enjoy O & O Duo - a guitar and vocal duo {Obadiah and Orian} who performed nightly on our cruise on the Carnival Conquest back in April of this year. They cover a wide variety of songs from Frank Sinatra to The Beatles to Justin Timberlake to Ariana Grande and Magic! I picked up their cd and listen to it frequently. I listen to it so much that when we hear the original songs, Moira will exclaim, "Hey, that's an O & O Duo song!" You should check out their YouTube channel here! In fact, Moira thinks it would be pretty cool to be good enough to get a job on a cruise ship. I would completely support that decision if it meant that she could take me along as her business manager or some such thing, but I digress. I also think it's pretty cool that I have an 11 year old who seems to be inspired by this duo as well. Seriously, you should check them out. I hope you enjoy them as much as we do!

This week Moira picked up "Fight Song" by Rachel Platten. I decided it was time to get a video clip of her playing something.

Maybe O & O Duo can cover this one next??

It just brings me joy to see her practicing hard and to listen to her play. Ron came home in the middle of her practicing and I had him wait at the door before he announced he was home just so he could hear her doing so well. It made us both smile. I'm truly thankful for moments like these.

What are you thankful for this week?

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Thankful Thursday #146

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah {the fontenot four}) — Thu, 27 Aug 2015 04:01:00 +0000

thank·ful

adjective \ˈthaŋk-fəl\

: glad that something has happened or not happened, that something or someone exists, etc.

: of, relating to, or expressing thanks

Source

Welcome back for this week's Thankful Thursday post!

We are currently winding up Moira's second week back to school. If you remember from last week, I talked about her switching from a traditional brick and mortar school to an online virtual public school. These past two weeks have been packed. Last week, I reflected on some of the things I am thankful for which had to do with this new learning environment.

This week, I really have to expand on that. Not that there's nothing else to be thankful for, but it seems like school is just about all we've done in the last week. The weeks are very busy. I'm not sure if it's typical, but Moira's spending 6-8 hours a day doing school work. Think about it. How much time would a child spend in a regular school doing actual hands-on learning? She's not being slow with her lessons. It is just taking that long. There is that much work.

Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining. One of my issues with her school last year was that she did not seem to be challenged. She never had homework and it seemed like she was just breezing through the work. She was in the gifted and talented track, so she should have been challenged. Can I just say that you should be careful what you wish for! This online school has more than addressed that issue.

I am grateful this week for what seems to be an exceptionally full curriculum which is providing a more challenging learning environment for my daughter. She is learning so much these last couple of weeks. She is loving the platform on which she is learning. She is enjoying the content. She loves the live lessons where she gets to interact with other students in her classes. Her teachers are wonderful so far. We haven't "met" them all yet, but we're working on it!

I am thankful for an excellent start to this new school year. It's a whole new frontier for us. It's got a learning curve, but we're getting the hang of it. As her learning coach (not teacher, but rather encourager, supporter, cheerleader, and question answerer), there's a learning curve for me as well. It's very different. I am thankful for the facebook group which I joined which is for people in our state who are choosing this as their school for their student. There are seasoned learning coaches as well as newbies like me. I am getting so much support and encouragement from these ladies. I've even been able to answer a question or two myself for someone needing help! I am grateful for this support. It would make everything so much more difficult if this group didn't exist!

Here's to a wonderful school year ahead!

What are you thankful for this week?

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Thankful Thursday #145

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah {the fontenot four}) — Thu, 20 Aug 2015 13:10:00 +0000

thank·ful

adjective \ˈthaŋk-fəl\

: glad that something has happened or not happened, that something or someone exists, etc.

: of, relating to, or expressing thanks

Source

Welcome back for this week's Thankful Thursday post!

I am easing back into this blogging thing having written a few posts last week and none so far this week! Baby steps, right?

This week has been quite busy and by the time bedtime rolled around last night, I realized I didn't even have time to think about a Thankful Thursday post much less write one!

This week I am thankful for the thing that has kept me so busy.

School.

While many people are sending off their little (and not so little) children to school, a great many are choosing to homeschool. After much discussion at the end of last school year, we decided that we needed to change what we are doing for our daughter's education. There wasn't anything necessarily wrong with the educational side of her schooling, but there were many aspects of that particular school which left us feeling like it just wasn't a good fit for our family. We looked at traditional homeschool for a while but, quite honestly, it scares me. There's also a significant financial investment in homeschool curriculum and materials that would be needed to facilitate homeschool.

One of my biggest fears about homeschool is one that may not even be a legitimate fear, but I suspect I'm not alone in having it. I fear the big transition from homeschool graduation to college. Or from homeschool back into regular mainstream public school for that matter. Moira has also been in Gifted & Talented for the past several years as well as being involved in Duke TIP. My biggest fears were her not being able to get the level of education she needs to excel and succeed.

I will reiterate that these are my fears and they may not have a basis in actual fact. I don't know. I did not go to university to learn how to become an educator or an administrator, so I fear that I would not make the wisest decisions to ensure the best possible outcome for my child.

I stumbled upon the world of virtual online school. In this day and age, it is not surprising that this is now an option for children to start as early as Kindergarten. There are some excellent online schools out there, just as there are many excellent traditional homeschool curricula. Again, the online schools come with a hefty price tag. I'm not opposed to paying for a quality education, but for us the timing for this added cost isn't the best. We're trying to save for a house and, being realistic, having an additional bill doesn't help facilitate that!

Then I learned about Connections Academy. This is an online virtual public charter school. It is available in several states (not all) and it falls under whatever school guidelines are set in place by whatever state you are located in. It is public school, so it is free. Well, tax money aside! The curriculum is state regulated, so there is no worry that students won't meet qualifications for college based on curriculum. It's a public school, so it has teachers. The onus is not on the parent or home educator (whoever it may be) to personally teach every single subject which they may or many not themselves be qualified to teach. It is public school. But it's done at home. It is not homeschool, but it is school that is done at home - or wherever the student happens to be.

After gathering information, we decided that Connections Academy was the best fit for us at this time in our lives. It solved a great many needs for our family without putting additional stress on me (as the "learning coach" as I am called) to be responsible for teaching - and teaching the right things.

This week, I am thankful for this version of "homeschool" - even though it's not technically homeschool. Here are some observations from this, the first week:

We can get up as early as we want and start the day when Moira's ready (which has been around 7:00am each day);
We can work at Moira's pace - if it takes her 15 minutes to finish a lesson or 3 hours, it's at the pace that she can manage;
I can sit alongside Moira all day and watch her learn. She has online lessons and she has "live lessons" where the students are actually in a live presentation listening to the teacher speak while they ask questions in the chat pod on the side. I am right beside her, so when she's having a difficult time on a question, she can turn immediately to me and ask;
It offers flexibility. Yes, there are "set" live lesson times throughout the week, but some are recorded so those could be viewed at a more convenient time. Moira had a dentist appointment the other day. We did most of her work beforehand and then picked up the rest when we returned. No school absence, no doctor's note needed, and no missed work! Similarly, she has to go back today for two extractions. Her days have been on the long side so far, but yesterday was lighter. This was very helpful because it allowed her to work ahead and get most of today's classes finished so she wouldn't have to worry about not completing work because she wasn't feeling well after getting a couple teeth pulled;
Moira is enrolled in Gifted & Talented classes in addition to her regular 6th grade classes;
I can sit with her and spend quality time with her. It's been wonderful to have this time, especially when we can sit and laugh with each other over silly things;
No car-rider lines!!!

There are so many reasons we are loving Connections so far. Our first week has been a huge success so far. As of right now, I can safely say that we made the best decision for our family!

What are you thankful for this week?

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The Turning Point

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah {the fontenot four}) — Sat, 15 Aug 2015 04:01:00 +0000

Seven years ago, we were a family of four living in Houston, Texas.

Ron was working in a decent paying job with limited upward mobility. I was working a full time job and caring for a then two year old child with multiple special needs with increasingly demanding medical needs. In addition, we had a family to take care of like any other normal family.

I had worked out an arrangement with my work which allowed me to work from home one day a week. This meant on that one day, not only did I have to work an 8 hour job, I had to handle all the medical appointments I had to schedule on that one day a week. It was meant to take the burden off of us as both Ron and I were constantly leaving work to handle therapy and doctor appointments. Realistically, though, it just wasn't possible to maintain this schedule. It was impossible to have 3 days of therapy on that one day a week. It was also impossible for me to work 8 hours AND handle everything Peyton's schedule demanded, which meant I was making up those 8 hours on the other 4 days of the week by going in to work at 4:00 or 5:00 in the morning and working an hour or more past my "regular" day just to make up those 8 hours. Can I tell you that this schedule meant to ease our load actually made it far worse on us?

By May of 2008 I had burned the candle at both ends and was running on empty. I couldn't keep up the pace any longer. We are human - we are not machines. We weren't meant to operate like that. Despite our dreary financial situation at the time, we made the decision that I would quit my job in order to handle all of Peyton's needs and Ron would start looking elsewhere for a job.

Very quickly we learned that we were going to have to expand the job search out of the state of Texas. We were open to that idea. We'd traveled west many times and loved the Denver area and thought somewhere in the mountains or maybe even in Arizona might be nice. That seemed kind of exciting.

Ron landed an interview with a company in Charleston, South Carolina. Not exactly the direction we were thinking, but hey, it was an interview. And it went well. It led to a second phone interview and ultimately they decided they'd like to fly him out to Charleston to interview in person. Somewhere around the 4th of July weekend in 2008, Ron was making plans to head east for this interview. We were hoping for good things because we really needed an income boost with our new situation. Ron flew out for his interview and he got the job! We went into full on preparing to sell our house and move to the other side of the country, with very little time to do it. They wanted him to start in mid-August!

The original plan was that I'd stay behind with the girls and sell the house while Ron went out to Charleston. However, we decided that we'd all move out together. It would be easier on the family to do it that way. We moved to Charleston without every having been there (except Ron for his interview). We arranged for an apartment in a brand new complex which ultimately was way over our budget but convenient to many things. We also moved to Charleston without having sold our house. We did manage to sell it, but not before Hurricane Ike paid the Houston area a visit in September 2008.

What started out as a move to improve our financial situation quickly turned into a financial fiasco. Nightmare might be too harsh, but it wasn't in any way pleasant. We had a mortgage plus a rental that was way more than our mortgage was. We had racked up thousands of dollars in medical debt with Peyton's issues. The housing market crashed right around the time we were settling into Charleston, which meant we made no money on the sale of our house. In fact, a clerical error caused us to have to pay a small amount to get out of our house. Then there there was the insurance deductible for hurricane repairs plus whatever costs we had to pay out of pocket which weren't covered by our insurance. Can I say I'm just glad we got rid of that house in December 2008?

This was our fresh start in Charleston.

We arrived the day after what was then the 7th anniversary of the loss of our son, Jeffrey. Yesterday we remembered 14 years. Today we celebrate 7 years in Charleston, South Carolina.

It was not an easy transition as you can tell. It continued to be difficult for quite some time. We had (and still have) no family in Charleston. Our support system here began as non-existent. We weren't in a church. In fact, we tried, but it was one singular experience in a local denominational church which led us to fall away from that denomination entirely.

The worst church experience of our lives was actually the best thing that church could have done for us. You see, while what happened was horrible, and it left us disconnected from a church for the better part of a year, it was towards the end of those tough months that followed that we were introduced to the church that we call home today.

Our pastor always says that God is at work on a solution before we even know there's a problem.

Seven years ago, we arrived in a city that was completely unfamiliar. We knew not a single soul. We had ever-increasing medical needs with Peyton in addition to being a family that was just trying its best to get by and have some semblance of "normal" amidst the chaos.

Seven years ago, we made a huge life-changing decision for our family based on the needs resulting from the demanding schedule and medical needs of one little person - Peyton.

This is why this day seven years ago is our turning point.

We made a decision that began a chain reaction which led to where we are today. I've documented so much of our journey in this blog and in Peyton's. I can tell you with absolute certainty that if it weren't for Peyton, we wouldn't be living here in Charleston.

If it weren't for Peyton, we wouldn't have been introduced to Seacoast Church.

If it weren't for Peyton, we wouldn't have come to know Christ.

This turning point led to the greatest legacy that Peyton could have left for us in her short almost seven years of life that she would have with us.

Fourteen

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah {the fontenot four}) — Fri, 14 Aug 2015 04:01:00 +0000

Married in April of 2000, Ron and I knew that we wanted to start a family early on. That vision for our lives became real for us when we found out that we'd be having our first baby, due in December 2001. Excitement was high as we lived in anticipation of the birth of our first child.
Everything was tracking along as planned, but at about 6 months I knew something was wrong with me. I was experiencing weight gain unlike any I'd experienced up to this point. My feet we swelling to the point where it was causing pain. I thought my feet might explode. I sought medical advice, knowing that this wasn't right. I was met with virtually no response from my doctor. "Keep your feet up." was the only response I got. I wasn't satisfied with this because it didn't help. My mother's intuition was telling me this was not right. Unfortunately, the doctor did not take my complaints seriously and I wound up in the ICU clinging to life with severe pre-eclampsia. In fact, the hospital could not handle my situation. I had to be transferred to a large medical facility across town in Houston, TX where they could treat me appropriately as well as the baby should it be born that early.
There is so much I do not remember about what was going on because I was so incredibly sick. I was going to be in the hospital until the baby was born - should I make it that long. I was hooked up to monitors around the clock. I don't know why they decided to "give me a break" from the fetal heart monitor one night, but they did. It was during that night that our precious baby passed away in utero. I remember the ultrasound in the morning - the one that detected no fetal movement or heartbeat. I remember the ultrasound technician saying nothing but disappearing quickly to get a doctor. I remember the devastating news that our much anticipated first child had died.
Fourteen years ago today, our son, Jeffrey George, was born still.
Labor was induced and I endured the long process of laboring through hours in the same way a woman about to deliver their precious live baby would. In the years that followed, I would endure labor two more times, delivering my daughters Moira and Peyton. Delivering Jeffrey was the same - except that we knew that we would never get to hear him cry. He would never take a single breath in this world. He was delivered and I held on to him for hours following delivery.
One of the most difficult things in life is to lose a child. Letting them go - well, there are no words.
Just a year and three months into our marriage, Ron and I were dealt a tragic blow and our lives were forever changed. We were not in relationship with Christ at the time. We went to church sporadically and we were not being filled when we did go. Ron and I had a good relationship, but this event tested the limits of it.
Looking back, I have no idea how we endured the loss of our son. Our marriage shouldn't have survived what we went through. In fact, there are statistics which show extremely high divorce rates after experiencing such an event. I don't know how ours survived, but it did.
As I sit here today, I know that God carried us through this time of our lives, though it certainly did not seem like it during those painful years that followed. We didn't come to Christ until after 2009, some 8 plus years after losing precious Jeffrey. In the time in between, I suffered another life-threatening event where I developed massive blood clots in both lungs (two weeks following this stillbirth), an early miscarriage, another round of severe pre-eclampsia and yet another massive pulmonary embolism in both lungs (the worst the head of the ER of a major Houston trauma center had ever seen without the person being dead). We've endured even more tragedy and loss since we came to Christ.
Our fifteen years of married life has been marked by numerous tragic and life-altering events. Yet somehow we are still standing together. I know now what I didn't know then - that God's hand has been at work throughout our married life, carrying us through events which seemed insurmountable, events which would would break some people, events which would cause some people to turn their backs on Him.
I have learned much in the last fourteen years. God has been at work through our experiences. I don't understand why we have had to endure so much but I know that He will use these experiences to help others. God "comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God." (2 Corinthians 1:4) He has been faithful to us even when we haven't been as trusting in Him as we ought to have been, especially in those early times.

Fourteen years have passed and I still miss Jeffrey terribly. I treasure the hours I held him - all 1 pound three quarters of an ounce of him - in my arms before it was time to let go. I look back on the years of misery that I unfairly put myself (and others) through.
I can't change who I was then. I didn't know God. I didn't understand anything about relationship with Christ or walking with the Lord. I probably would have scoffed at the idea of this being part of a plan. In fact, I probably did.
I know now that I still don't understand why events transpired the way they did. I don't understand why anyone has to lose a child at any stage of pregnancy or at any age thereafter. It's not right. It's not the natural order of things. But I do know that God does, indeed, have a plan.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11, NIV)

If I knew then that God was for me and not against me. If I knew then that God was with me no matter what circumstances I found myself in. If I knew then...

I think in the grand scheme of things, the loss of Jeffrey, as difficult as it was, was the very beginning of our road towards Christ. A long road to be sure. A dirty, pothole-filled, gravelly, rocky, scary road at times. I know I couldn't see how there was any "good" in what happened.

Romans 8:28 says it this way:

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

Yes, things happen that we cannot predict or control. God knows our journey. He knows our sorrows and our trials. He knows us. He is strength in our weakness and in our weakness we are made strong.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Thankful Thursday #144 - A Reboot

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah {the fontenot four}) — Thu, 13 Aug 2015 04:01:00 +0000

thank·ful

adjective \ˈthaŋk-fəl\

: glad that something has happened or not happened, that something or someone exists, etc.

: of, relating to, or expressing thanks

Source

Welcome!

It's been quite a while since I blogged. After the loss of my daughter Peyton in May of 2013, I fell out of writing regularly. Honestly, I just wasn't feeling very inspired to write. I felt a great many things over the past couple years, but "like a writer" wasn't among those feelings.

I have missed the blogging community. As seasons of life change, so do the things we involve ourselves in, and this community is one which has taken a back seat to the more pressing needs of myself and my family. After beginning the year with prayer, I was given the words "Be Still" as my theme. I have tried to honor that in many ways. It has been important for me to try to still myself so that I could hear God's voice. I have been praying for my purpose; my "next". I am still not entirely sure what that looks like, but I have felt like I am finally starting to be able to hear God speaking to me. That's been a hard area for me.

In this blogging life, I have written 143 past Thankful Thursday posts. The last one was written just over a year ago. While I've continued to give thanks, I haven't written down those things for which I am grateful. I'd like to begin again. I have found in my life that perspective can change for the better if you just stop and give thanks for the blessings in your life. It truly changed my life. Gratitude can be a game changer. It can be a life saver.

While I haven't been connecting online through this blog over the past year sharing these blessings, I have had a number of significant things change in my life. I'll focus on one are for now.

My health.

When I wrote my last Thankful Thursday post, I was just short of a year after having torn a tendon in my ankle, which led to surgery - but not before I experienced a massive life-threatening pulmonary embolism. Depression coupled with lack of mobility brought me to the heaviest weight I had ever been in my life, outside of being pregnant with severe pre-eclampsia which had caused massive weight gain. The day I stepped on the scale and saw that weight was the day I was decided that enough was enough and something needed to change.

Last August 17th, I got on MyFitnessPal. A pastor at our church, who is also a trainer, hooked up with Ron and I on the app so that we could be accountability partners. Can I just say that trying to manage new health and fitness goals is so much easier when you have people you can be accountable to? We began tracking everything we were eating - good and bad. Ron had been working out with this trainer for several months already, but he was needing a jump start to get back in gear. I was invited to join in on these intense workouts. Think CrossFit.

Since last August, I have grown to absolutely love working out. Yes. Me. I never in my life would have dreamed that those words would escape my lips. That said, over the last year, I've been working out two or three times a week with this trainer. We did that regularly til early July. In May, Ron and I did a month long #IronTribe 101 at our local IronTribe gym. in addition to our regular two or three times a week with the trainer. Time, finances, and life have us pared down to doing #DailyBurn workouts at home. Today marks 4 weeks since I began my free trial. In those 28 days, I have done 36 workouts through DailyBurn. This is a fantastic program. The workout program I chose out of the many options available was a program most similar to the workouts I'd been doing with a trainer. I wanted to keep up the intensity and level of difficulty that I'd been doing. If you are familiar with DailyBurn, I'm doing #BlackFire with Bob Harper. That program is no joke!!

As far as nutrition goes, I have had a really difficult time for pretty much most of 2015. At one point, I had lost a total of 40 lbs! However, once this summer hit, it became more difficult to keep up with the diet end of things. That said, I am still down 35 lbs from the weight I was in August 2014. I don't consider 5 lbs over my lowest weight to be too tragic. That said, I need to get back on track. I read Bob Harper's "Skinny Rules" and found that it really was helpful. I need to get back on that.

As for fitness, I am currently working out 7 days a week with a couple extra workouts thrown here here and there just to keep it interesting. It is hard. It is challenging. This whole journey has pushed me far and beyond what I thought was possible. I can do things I have never done before. Box jumps? No problem. But they scared the life out of me a year ago. Burpees? Bring it! But I still hate them. I really hate burpees. Weights? Yes. I learned how to deadlift. I pushed myself past my limits. I pushed through pain. I persevered through horrific workouts. I have survived. I have gotten stronger. I am in the best physical shape of my life at age 42.

Don't forget. All of this happened after a torn tendon in my ankle which required surgery, physical therapy, and much work to get to a point where I could even start exercising safely (I started 8 months after surgery). This happened 10 months after life-threatening blood clots in both lungs. I had been released from my Pulmonary doctor's care just prior to starting my workouts. His parting words to me - "Go out there. Be active." I did not leave his office and run to the nearest gym, but little did we know how active I'd become!

If I can do this, there's a good chance you can too!

Health and fitness. That is what I am thankful for right now.

What are you thankful for this week?

{Please note that any spam or inappropriate link ups will be removed!}

Matt Ham: An Unlikely Journey

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah {the fontenot four}) — Tue, 25 Nov 2014 05:00:00 +0000

Please welcome Matt Ham to the blog today. Matt and I crossed paths through a My 500 Words writing challenge put out by Jeff Goins at the beginning of this year. In addition to raising a family with his wife, Liz, Matt is a speaker and author of a soon-to-be-released book called Redefine Rich. I am honored to have Matt here today to share with you a bit about what living richly means to him.

_____

Sometimes there are moments in your life marked by an undeniable feeling, something that can’t be explained in natural occurrences or resolved by circumstance. For me, these moments of clarity bring about a humility that reminds me of the grand design which we are fortunate to participate in. The belief that we are part of a bigger story than we could ever imagine.

When I first encountered the story of Peyton Fontenot as told my her mother, Sarah, I knew it was such a moment…

About eight months prior, this insurance agent and father of three had embarked upon the most unlikely journey of writing a book. Interestingly enough, that moment held a similar feeling. It was an odd yet purposeful whisper, a suggestion to write a book about uncovering the true meaning of an elusive word: rich.

As I began poring over my own past and the stories of others, I began to see an uncommon theme beneath the surface of this common word.

For most, richness was defined by material well-being and financial prowess. However, when asked, most people would describe what made them rich in more heart-level terms, deeper, more complex descriptions not revealed by the cultural norms.

This paradigm puzzled me and sent me on a journey to unlock the mystery of true wealth, a new perspective on the Good Life.

I ran head-on into a buzz saw of adversity.

I found a common theme in the lives of all people: brokenness. For many, the exterior facade of wholeness was a disguise used to cover a shattered soul. The one common denominator in their lives was pain. However, the differentiator was not the pain itself, it was the response of the individual in the midst of their suffering.

It was about that time when I first read about Sarah and Ron’s story.

In that moment, the correlation between my findings and the kindred journey they had been walking was too coincidental for fate. It felt purposeful. I believed I was supposed to include their story in my book.

I wanted to reach out to them, but fear screamed at me so loudly.

“They’ll think you’re crazy. How could you possibly ask them? It’s too soon. That’s just rude.”

I’ve come to learn that fear loves to waste my time.

Hope doesn’t.

Hope never disappoints because it’s built on a foundation of faith that regardless of the outcome—there are plans greater than our own. Our course is marked and we will be guided, divinely.

Sarah and Ron were gracious to share their story and the remarkable life of their daughter, Peyton. This blessing has enriched the lives of many.

Since then, I have been fortunate to become a steward of these stories, an unlikely shepherd of sorts. Anytime that I begin to rationalize how they have culminated in this book is nothing short of a miracle.

But I do know, this journey has changed me. It has given me a new perspective on that common word that will forever give it uncommon purpose.

My hope is that it would do the same for you.

I would invite you to join us.

You may find that richness has been waiting for you.

It just took knowing your part in the story.

Redefine Rich: A New Perspective on The Good Life from Matthew Ham on Vimeo.

Matt on Twitter.

Matt on Facebook.

Matt's Blog.

Matt's Redefine Rich Podcast on iTunes and Stitcher Radio.

You can find out more about Matt's book, Redefine Rich, by clicking in the image below:

Peyton Weight

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah {the fontenot four}) — Fri, 03 Oct 2014 12:30:00 +0000

Hello. My name is Sarah and it has been 50 days since I last blogged.
Wow!
The last post I shared was on August 14 - on the 13th anniversary of the loss of our son. You can read about that here.
To say I feel out of practice and out of the blogging loop would be an understatement. I have missed the community, but for reasons I can't fully explain, I have been living my life more or less in silence. At least here on my blog. I had written a post on depression in the wake of actor Robin Williams' death. I know many people did. I hadn't felt that strongly about writing a post in a long while because I have been dealing with depression - whether you could see it or not, it has been a battle and for a few weeks right around that time, I truly wasn't feeling like it was a battle I could overcome. Not easily, that's for sure.
Coincidentally, at the height of my struggles, I was re-introduced to the myfitnesspal app on my phone. Actually, today is day 49 of continuous tracking on this app.
I was caught in a vicious cycle of grief, depression, and poor control over my physical health. Ron had been working out with a trainer for about a year and even he was feeling kind of stuck with regards to his weight loss journey. Right at that time, his trainer (also a pastor at our church) got him on myfitnesspal so that he could monitor his caloric intake and exercise. He also friended me on that app. I'd used it in the past, but not seriously. I had a handful of friends on it - mostly blog friends - but we were just friends. We weren't intentional about holding one another accountable.
Things changed 49 days ago. We installed the app once again and became very intentional about using it each and every day. Honestly, this app was mentioned by another pastor in the weekend message the very next day (the message wasn't about fitness, but it was worked into the message in a good way). I still wonder how many people in our church signed up that day and what their progress is.
They say that 3 weeks of doing something will make a habit. I could not agree more! As I said, we're 49 days into this. It has become a part of life. I wake up and step on the scale. I log it. I know, I know. I should back off the scale because weight fluctuates so much, and it's the inches that matter. Trust me, I've heard it! I'm a little (no, a lot) OCD about checking my weight each morning, and so I do. I lose (and sometimes gain) weight in little increments each day. Sometimes it stays the same. In all this time, though, I've never had a really bad day. But I've had some pretty good ones!
When I sat down to think about my goals, the first one that sprang to mind was "I need to lose my 'Peyton weight'". That is Ron's first goal as well. What do I mean by that? We lost our daughter, Peyton, on May 4, 2013. One side effect of grief that many people (not all) face is weight gain. Of course Ron and I fell victim to that unfortunate side effect. I'll speak for myself in saying that during the intense initial season of grief, I didn't feel like eating, but then when I did, it was just mindless activity. I didn't care what I ate. I overate. Eating was a comfort thing - especially during half price shake season at Sonic. We gained a lot of weight. I hit my highest weight probably a couple months ago. I was going to to doctor that day and I weighed myself that morning because I truly felt like stepping on the scale in front of someone at the doctor's office was going to be highly embarrassing. And it was. It was the highest weight I'd ever been outside of being pregnant with severe pre-eclampsia. As if I needed something else to be depressed about! I had gained 18.6 pounds in the aftermath of losing Peyton. That's my "Peyton weight" - 18.6 pounds.
In the past 49 days, I have been very intentional about what has become not just a weight-loss journey but a fitness one as well. I have a small group of accountability partners on myfitnesspal - Ron, our pastor/trainer, and a few close friends who are also on a journey towards better health. I have a set number of calories which I am allowed each day based on the data I plugged in. Trust me, in those early days, 1200 calories did not seem to be nearly enough. I kept at it. I began to work out in a group setting with a trainer as well. It is intense. It's unlike anything I've ever done before. Want to know what it's like? This Subway "cropfit" commercial made me literally laugh out loud because it so reminded me of what we call "Robfit":

We work out at church most of the time - in one of the smaller venues within the building, or out in the back parking lot. We've worked out on the beach and have also gone into a crossfit facility to utilize their equipment. Did I ever in a million years think I'd be doing this? No. Did I ever think I could do this? No. Can I do it? Perhaps not gracefully and perhaps not with the skill of many of the other participants, but the answer is yes. Yes I can, with modifications for my ankle injury in some instances, but yes I can! So, 2-3 times Ron and I subject ourselves to some pretty intense workouts. The funny thing is that during the workout I'll reach this level of - well, I'm not sure what to call it..."hate" is such a strong word! But when it's over, I feel amazing. Sore. But generally amazing. And then I look forward to the next time and I actually really hate to miss a day. Me. I'm enjoying this. Huh. Who'd have thought that was possible?!
I'm coming back to you today, writing this post, because I want to share what I've been going through. My absence was not you, it was me. Dealing with depression is not fun nor is it easy. But while I've been absent here, I've been working on myself out there and I'm truly excited about the progress I'm making and the changes I'm seeing.
On September 26, 2014 I reached my first goal. I lost those 18.6 pounds of "Peyton weight". I've actually lost 21.6 as of this morning. I've also lost a combined total of over 16 inches. But those first 18.6 pounds - there is a lot of significance in that goal. I don't think I can really describe it. Maybe it doesn't seem like a huge deal to some of you, but it really is a huge deal for me both mentally and physically. The best part is that since I've incorporated the fitness element into this life change, I've not just lost 21.6 pounds and am back where I was a year and a half ago. I've gained some muscle and I feel like I look even better than I did the last time I was this weight!
My weight loss and fitness journey are just beginning. I've got a long way to go to reach my final goal, but reaching this first goal was pretty monumental.
Three weeks makes a habit. You can do it too!

Thirteen

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah {the fontenot four}) — Thu, 14 Aug 2014 04:05:00 +0000

Thirteen years.
Today marks thirteen years since our son Jeffrey was born still. On August 14, 2001, our first child - a son - came into this world, already in the arms of our Father.
Married just over a year and three months, this event was (at the time) the single greatest tragedy to befall us, individually and as a couple. Our lives changed on that day.
I was six months into my first pregnancy when I became quite ill. I could look back with a wide range of feelings regarding that time of illness. I had a doctor who was disinterested in me. I knew something was wrong. I knew it, but no one was taking my complaints seriously. "Keep your feet up." was their response on multiple occasions. It wasn't until I was in quite serious condition that they finally took me seriously.
I could look at that time frame and simply be angry at the medical establishment I was with. But I don't know that the outcome would have been any different. Maybe. I have no way to know.
Thirteen years ago, we were not walking with the Lord. We just weren't. We occupied seats at church - sometimes.
While suffering through an illness that almost took me from this world, we lost our precious child.

The emotions that followed in the time of grief that passed weren't good. I was bitter, angry, enraged, hateful, and was coming undone. I blamed God. Oh, how I blamed Him. I blamed Him for everything that had gone wrong in my life that ultimately led to this great loss. The "Why me???" game was in full swing and it went into extra innings; far more than necessary.
Thirteen years have passed and I miss Jeffrey terribly. I treasure the hours I held him - all 1 pound three quarters of an ounce of him - in my arms before it was time to let go. I look back on the years of misery that I unfairly put myself (and others) through.
I can't change who I was then. I didn't know God. I didn't understand anything about relationship with Christ or walking with the Lord. I probably would have scoffed at the idea of this being part of a plan. In fact, I probably did.
I know now that I still don't understand why events transpired the way they did. I don't understand why anyone has to lose a child at any stage of pregnancy or at any age thereafter. It's not right. It's not the natural order of things. But I do know that God does, indeed, have a plan.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11, NIV)

If I knew then that God was for me and not against me. If I knew then that God was with me no matter what circumstances I found myself in. If I knew then...

I think in the grand scheme of things, the loss of Jeffrey, as difficult as it was, was the very beginning of our road towards Christ. A long road to be sure. A dirty, pothole-filled, gravelly, rocky, scary road at times. I know I couldn't see how there was any "good" in what happened.

I read that marriages that have endured a stillbirth are 40% more likely to wind up in divorce. We were married in 2000. Between 2001 and 2013, we endured a stillbirth, a miscarriage, and 24/7 caregiving for a medically fragile/special needs child who passed away at the age of almost seven years old. Between 2001 and 2013, I have nearly died from sudden life-threatening health conditions five times.

Romans 8:28 says it this way:

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

I may still be trying to discern the purpose in all of this, but I know that our journey - beginning with this great loss - has brought us closer to God than we have ever been in our lives. I know now that God is for me. I know that He has been with me through every single trial I've endured. I know that He is my strength and my comfort.

I don't know why things happen in life, but I know that God "comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God." (2 Corinthians 1:4)

We've walked a difficult journey these thirteen years, but we've grown stronger. Individually. Together. With Christ.

Yes, things happen that we cannot predict or control. God knows our journey. He knows our sorrows and our trials. He knows us. He is strength in our weakness and in our weakness we are made strong.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Depression: You Aren't Alone

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah {the fontenot four}) — Wed, 13 Aug 2014 19:35:00 +0000

I find it interesting the number of blog posts and news articles regarding depression have come across my feed this week. If you've never given depression a second thought, the sudden passing of beloved actor and comedian, Robin Williams, surely has caused you to consider it at least for a moment.
I'm not a doctor. I'm no expert. I am just a person. A person who has suffered with depression.
The passing of Robin Williams struck me, as it did many people around the world. How could one of the funniest men on the planet end his own life?
Depression.
It struck me because I just shared in my "Thankful Thursday" post how I have been struggling with depression and had just gone through a few weeks of anti-depressant medication withdrawal. I just shared that post on August 7th. The post wasn't written to garner attention, nor did it. Four days later, on August 11th, we were shocked by the death of Robin Williams. We were shocked to learn that he'd allegedly died at his own hand.
Addiction and depression. Whatever Mr. Williams dealt with on this earth, it is not mine to discuss. That is between him, his loved ones, his friends, and anyone with whom he sought help. It is not for me to judge how he lived his life or how he ended it. It's not my place.
But what I can offer is this. Encouragement.
I've dealt with depression for years. Tomorrow - August 14th - is the 13th anniversary of the passing of my first child. My son, Jeffrey, who was stillborn. I have words to share on that tomorrow, but I struggled with many demons after that date back in 2001. I am not going to say that you need to get right with God because I don't know you and I don't know your relationship. I do know that for me, it is in the lenses of hindsight that I can see a vast difference between how I have handled that loss compared with the illness and death of my almost seven year old daughter in May of 2013. For me, I know that difference is my relationship with Christ.
Depression is real. Depression isn't simply being sad or unhappy. It's a controlling force that threatens every single day to consume all of your being. The extent and depths of my depression may be nothing compared with Mr. Williams' or even someone reading this right now. That doesn't make it any less real or any less a part of what I have been through these past several years.
I'm not a doctor, so I am not going to get into statistics and medical references, but I know that depression affects your brain chemistry. It's not a "choice". As much as I didn't choose to lose my son, I did not choose to wind up in the "depths of despair", a phrase Anne Shirley used in the book Anne of Green Gables to describe her feelings. She was being over-dramatic, but those words capture the feeling.
I was on anti-depressant medication until recently. For me, personally, I decided I wanted to try to resume a "normal" life without medication to treat my depression. I want to try a more natural approach through essential oils. I'm tired of being on chemicals to treat my depression. I felt like I was at a point where I could manage without meds. I quit cold-turkey - accidentally. Don't do that! Do it properly. I went through side effects that had me feeling worse - had me feeling more depressed than I had felt in ages, with horrible thoughts running through my head. I'm on the other side of that now and, while I can't say I feel "amazing", I feel like - for now - I made the right decision. That said, in the past few weeks, I've seen two doctors who both expressed concern, who both were ok with my decision, but who both encouraged me to seek their help if I felt like I couldn't function normally without the meds.
I am not suggesting to anyone that they quit cold-turkey. That is just to illustrate what's been going on with me. The sudden passing of Robin Williams came on the heels of this withdrawal phase for me. It was shocking and it made me remember things. His death made me cry. The feelings I had caused me to search high and low from the registry book from the funeral home that so many loved ones and friends had signed when Peyton passed away. In that moment, I needed to feel, in some way, the love of those people in a tangible way.
Depression is an every day journey that ebbs and flows. It can feel really bad for a season and it can also feel manageable for another. I am not out of my season of depression. It's just a little more manageable right now. I am surrounded by people who love me; this I know. I also know that I've got God with me through it all - even on the days when I will fail to recognize His existence in my life.
And so I encourage you. If you are suffering through depression, please know that you are not going through it alone. I think more people than you realize are walking a similar journey and you don't even know. I think it's time to break the stigma of depression and let people know that it's ok to be depressed. You aren't alone. There is help for you. A family member or friend. Your pastor. Professional counseling. Medical intervention. In-patient resources. Out-patient resources. Even medications if you need it. Just don't go through it alone.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Thankful Thursday #143

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah {the fontenot four}) — Thu, 07 Aug 2014 04:05:00 +0000

thank·ful

adjective \ˈthaŋk-fəl\

: glad that something has happened or not happened, that something or someone exists, etc.

: of, relating to, or expressing thanks

Source

Welcome to this week's edition of Thankful Thursday!

I am grateful for finishing this week on a good note. We had our First Wednesday service at church last night and it was, as usual, amazing. It's the best service of the month and one I look so forward to attending. If you aren't a part of our church, First Wednesday is a once a month service on - wait for it - the first Wednesday of each month. It's an extended time of worship with a message in there as well. One of our former pastors was visiting and preached last night. His family had left last summer to plant a church out in Colorado. His wife had been one of Peyton's nurses in the PICU step-down unit where she spent her last 40 days. He, himself, came and prayed with our family at the visitation at the funeral home when Peyton passed away. He gave an excellent message and it was really great to see how much he's grown as a pastor in the last year. If you are someone who was there, don't you think he's grown? You can definitely tell that God is at work through him!

This past week has been quite challenging. Each and every day for the past week, I have faced some sort of "trigger" moment where my grief over Peyton resurfaced in a big way. Her first anniversary since her passing was in May, so that wasn't it. Her birthday fell in May, so that wasn't it either. In fact, there really wasn't any significance to the time frame at all. However, every single day something happened that really reminded me of our loss. A funeral at church (I work in the church cafe and to be honest, I have never been in the church when a funeral was going on - except for Peyton's). Same venue. Same funeral home handling the service. Some of the same undertakers even! That was probably one of the biggest triggers, but you get the idea. The church building has music playing over the speakers during the day. I love listening to the music, but honestly when work is busy, I don't notice it as much. A couple days ago, I was in a zone where I wasn't particularly noticing the music until I heard Kari Jobe singing "Healer". When Peyton was in the hospital, towards the end I had a continuous loop of music going. "Healer" was the second to last song that played before she passed away. If you listen to the words, it was perfect since in her passing, Peyton was healed. The song played as she slipped away from us and into the Father's arms.

Every day. That is the type of week it was. When I heard that song, I thought to myself, ok God, what are you trying to tell me?? I felt it was a message of some sort. These reminders are all at once good yet painful at the same time. I don't want to not remember these things but for whatever reason, I was bombarded by reminders.

A few weeks ago, I found myself "accidentally" coming off anti-depressant medication. After many months of being on it, I had wanted to try to wean off of it. I hate being on medication that maybe I don't need to be on. I don't want all that stuff in my system if I don't truly need it. I say "accidentally" though. Did you know you're supposed to wean off this type of medication? Did you know that "wean" doesn't mean "cold turkey"? And did you know that if you accidentally quit cold turkey - meaning, you forget to call in your prescription and then you realize you've already been off a few days and decide it's probably not worth taking it at all (because you're really not a doctor and don't know that that's not smart) - there is a withdrawal period??

Who knew?!?!

So I found myself in the couple weeks prior to this past week with vertigo, restlessness, a low grade fever, and symptoms of depression that cause me to wonder if I should just go back on the meds and get the refill! I even went to the doctor. Neurological testing showed I didn't have a stroke or anything like that - I didn't know that was even something I should have considered! The doctor wasn't sure so advised me to pay close attention to the symptoms and come back if it didn't improve. I wound up back there anyway for an abscess that needed drained (I told you...it was not the best week this past week!!), but prior to that visit, I surfed the information highway only to find out that, hey, maybe all these symptoms (there were 7 or 8 independent symptoms) fit together under one "diagnosis".

Withdrawal.

Again. Who knew?!?!

Depression is very real, people, and I'm not a doctor and I won't say anything other than that you should seek help if you are suffering from depression in some way. It's also really dumb, in hindsight, not to refill a prescription and discuss weaning off these types of meds under a doctor's care. After about two weeks or so now, I think I am finally through that "withdrawal" phase. Now, I will not compare this type of withdrawal to something an addict would go through - it's not that type of withdrawal (I have not experienced that firsthand and have no idea what that must be like). I just felt "off". Really "off". I discussed it with the doctor I saw for the abscess and it clicked that, yes, this was what was happening and that I should be over the worst of it soon. I think I'm mostly over it now.

So...long story short (too late!) - I am beyond thankful that this is behind me. As I come out the other side of this withdrawal period, I think that it's going to be ok. For me, right now, I think being on meds isn't a long-term thing I need to consider, although there'd be nothing wrong with it if that was the case. I'm thankful to have this out of my system and out of my daily regimen.

And I am thankful for a husband and for friends who get that what I'm going through isn't easy and stand by me through all my ups and downs. There are plenty of good - even great - days ahead. I look forward to each and every one!

What are you thankful for this week?

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Thankful Thursday #142

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah {the fontenot four}) — Thu, 31 Jul 2014 04:05:00 +0000

thank·ful

adjective \ˈthaŋk-fəl\

: glad that something has happened or not happened, that something or someone exists, etc.

: of, relating to, or expressing thanks

Source

Welcome to this week's edition of Thankful Thursday!

With summer vacation wrapping up in just a few weeks, I'm excited that the past several weeks have included much reading for all of us. Moira is 10 and I am sure would much rather not spend her days with her head stuck in a book. However, we've really tried to encourage her to keep on reading over the summer.

Moira's school library has a "South Carolina Book Awards" reading challenge each year. The school district publishes a list of books, with different lists for different age groups (about 20 books per list). The way it worked last year was that if they read 3 books by a certain date (a couple months or so into the school year), they got to attend an incentive party in the library. They also had to submit an online review, so it wasn't just simply reading the books. Every couple months, they'd up the challenge by 3 books and host a reward party, with little prizes distributed throughout the year at these parties. If you missed one goal, you could still attend the next party if you caught up. Moira missed the first, but was able to attend the rest of the incentive parties for the year.

The list of books for the 2014-2015 school year was published on the school website at the start of summer. I printed out the list and I had Moira begin reading some of the books. She's managed 5 in all, and is on her 6th now. I'm not sure if the process will be the same this coming school year (i.e. submitting a review as proof of completion), but I've had her write her reviews on paper so she remembers - just in case!

The local library also had a summer reading incentive called "Fizz Boom Read". For her age group, there were 3 prizes over the summer - at 5, 10 and 15 hours of logged reading time. She finished that challenge and received her prizes. The "big" prize was a t-shirt and medal. The library staff made a big deal of presenting her with the prize, so that was pretty cool.

Moira's t-shirt and medal received for completing the #FizzBoomRead summer reading program

Some new books we bought Moira as a reward for doing so well with her summer reading.

In other news...

I saw my Hematologist yesterday. This was a follow up appointment for the massive pulmonary embolism I had back in October 2013. I have a nasty history of having this happen - three times now. All life-threatening. One while on blood thinners! While I do have to remain on blood thinners, the doctor said he is pleased with how I'm doing right now and doesn't need to see me for a year! I'll take that!

What are you thankful for this week?

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Remembering My Mom

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah {the fontenot four}) — Fri, 25 Jul 2014 04:05:00 +0000

Today I remember my mother, Anne, who passed away four years ago. I can't believe it has been four years. It seems like she was just here with us. Time has a way of passing far too quickly.

Before I left home, my mother and I became pretty close. I was still living at home after I returned from university. We had great talks. We spent Saturdays together doing things like going to the museum, to the mall, and most definitely for lunch. We had a great relationship.

I left home in 1998. It wasn't just moving down the street. I left my home in Canada to be with Ron in Texas. No longer were my mother and I physically close, but we still maintained a great relationship. We talked on the phone regularly.

I got married back home in 2000. My mother was planning a trip to visit me in August 2001. I wound up in the hospital with severe pre-eclampsia while she was en route to Texas by plane. Instead of being picked up by Ron or myself, I believe it was my mother in law who did. I was not in good shape at all. I was transferred to a larger hospital. My care was handed over to a high risk OB/Gyn. My mother sat with me as my blood pressure spiked to levels she never ever shared with me. I still don't know. I do know that the top number was in the 200s. My mother was with Ron and when we lost our first baby.

Mom stayed with me after the funeral and my parents were there when I developed a severe life-threatening pulmonary embolism just two weeks after losing our child. She stayed with me for a while I came home. She was there with me as I lay on the couch recuperating while the events of 9/11 unfolded live on television right before our eyes.

My mom was with me the day I miscarried our second baby in 2003. I remember joking with her some time after the fact that she needed to stop visiting me when I was pregnant!

Mom was there when Moira came into this world in 2004. I was so nervous about daycare. I hate the fact that there is really no such thing as "maternity leave" in the U.S. I had 7 weeks of "disability" after Moira was born. Instead of resorting to daycare, my mom stayed with us for three months after Moira was born. She was a preemie and I had to go to work. My mom filled a need for us that was more appreciated than you could imagine.

Mom was with me when Peyton was born in 2006. She was in the delivery room with Ron and I. I had a special bond with her and I wanted to have her present for that experience. I am so glad I did that.

My mom passed away on July 25, 2010. Peyton passed away on May 4, 2013, and I am sure my mom was right there welcoming her home on that day.

I miss my mom more than words can say. The pain has lessened, but this loss has been huge for me. I'd give anything to pick up the phone and call her just to hear her voice again. I know there are many painful events listed above, but it just shows how she was there for me at every critical point of my life while she was here.

I hope that I will be as good a mom as she was to me.

Missing and remembering my mom today.

Thankful Thursday #141

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah {the fontenot four}) — Thu, 24 Jul 2014 04:05:00 +0000

thank·ful

adjective \ˈthaŋk-fəl\

: glad that something has happened or not happened, that something or someone exists, etc.

: of, relating to, or expressing thanks

Source

Welcome to this week's edition of Thankful Thursday!

When I sit down to compose my Thankful Thursday post each week, I try to come up with a simple list of things I am grateful for in my life over the past week. I make a bullet point list and share that with you. I am a big believer in the fact that we should express our gratitude for even the simple little things in life and that being grateful is a choice we make which can have a huge and lasting impact on our lives.

Last week was an amazing week of VBS for my 10 year old daughter. She is involved each week in the children's ministry worship team. This means that she and other kids get to get up in front of their peers each weekend and sing (along with recorded music) and do actions to the worship music. They needed volunteers to do this during VBS week, so Moira got involved in that.

We had a special worship set last weekend (the weekend after VBS concluded) in "Big Church", as the kids like to call the worship service we adults attend. The kids worship team was asked to worship in "Big Church" along with our worship team on stage during our worship services. Moira participated in our Saturday night service as well as our three Sunday morning services. They sang two of the songs that were used during VBS. Maybe to some the songs might seem a little "juvenile" for a grown up service, but for many, it was truly a heartwarming experience to watch all these kids worshiping up there in front of hundreds of grown ups. The kids service, as I said, has recorded music. VBS and "Big Church" have a full band with live music. It was pretty cool.

Once again, I am thankful for a church that does so much to pour into the lives of the next generation...and the one following that one. As I close this post, I'm praying for all the bigger kids (middle and high school) who are at our church's summer camp this week. There are about 530 kids involved in that. I was working in the cafe at church on Monday when they all gathered to check in and then depart on buses to head out of town to camp. What a blessing it is for these kids to be able to be a part of that camp. I was a little misty-eyed, I must admit, as Moira will be old enough for camp next year. She is excited about that.

What are you thankful for this week?

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Thankful Thursday #140

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah {the fontenot four}) — Thu, 17 Jul 2014 04:05:00 +0000

thank·ful

adjective \ˈthaŋk-fəl\

: glad that something has happened or not happened, that something or someone exists, etc.

: of, relating to, or expressing thanks

Source

Welcome to this week's edition of Thankful Thursday!

When I sit down to compose my Thankful Thursday post each week, I try to come up with a simple list of things I am grateful for in my life over the past week. I make a bullet point list and share that with you. I am a big believer in the fact that we should express our gratitude for even the simple little things in life and that being grateful is a choice we make which can have a huge and lasting impact on our lives.

This week has been a full week for Moira. She has been participating in Vacation Bible School at church. Actually, today is the last day. There are over 800 children participating! I work in the cafe at our church, and worked Monday and am working today. It is incredible to see so many children involved in this!

I am so thankful for our church. The leaders in our church are passionate about building up the next generation. And the next. These children are our future church leaders. I am so grateful to all of the people who have been pouring into them this week. I know where Moira stands with her relationship with Christ. I don't know where everyone else stands. I can only imagine that there are many, many children who are there simply because a friend was going. I am sure many of these children are new to any type of church experience. It's just so amazing to see all these kids doing church together!

I am grateful for the many, many people who had a hand in making VBS possible. I know they've been planning it since VBS ended last year! There are so many incredibly gifted leaders in our children's ministry who put together a "Superhero" themed VBS. I am grateful these people are using their giftings to pour into my child's life, as well as into the lives of hundreds of other kids.

You know that a VBS of this magnitude couldn't be pulled off without countless staff and volunteers, so my thanks goes out to every single person who helped to make this year's VBS such an amazing experience.

Moira's at the upper end of the age range for VBS. This means that this is her last year for participating in VBS. Next year she will be old enough for the middle/high school student summer camp. Next year she will be able to volunteer with VBS. She's growing up! I'm thankful for the new opportunities that await for her in the years ahead.

What are you thankful for this week?

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Writer's Block

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah {the fontenot four}) — Thu, 17 Jul 2014 00:34:00 +0000

Have you ever struggled with writer's block?
I feel like I have been dealing with this for months now. It's painful. I love this space where I get to share my heart with you, the reader. I love being able to share the joys and even the sorrows. I have found comfort in this space. I have found unlikely connections with friends in this crazy blog world.
But I'm blocked.
I have been coping with the loss of my 6 year old daughter in May 2013 after years of pretty much round the clock caregiving. My outlet was often through this blog as well as through sharing her story on her blog.
I struggle with what to write now. I want this space to be a place of encouragement for others. I want to share once again, but it is difficult when my history involves a lot of pain and sorrow. Yet my story is also one of faith; of trusting in God. There is hope in healing and I believe others can be encouraged through our journey.
I firmly believed in giving thanks in all things.

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. {1 Thessalonians 5:18}

Though I have been well and truly stuck on writing on a daily basis, I've remained firm that I must share a "Thankful Thursday" post each week. And I have - for 140 weeks straight! I struggle with those posts sometimes, as it isn't easy to find things to give thanks for during difficult times.

Beyond Thursdays, I am blocked. It's a horrible feeling when you enjoy writing! So, I'm asking you - what do you want to know about me? I'd love to get to know YOU better! Is there a topic you'd love to have a discussion on? I know there are "opinion" issues that can get a little dicey, but if there's something you'd like to hear about, let me know!

I'd love to begin a new effort with this blog and build community here once again.

I love having you here!

Thankful Thursday #139

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah {the fontenot four}) — Thu, 10 Jul 2014 04:05:00 +0000

thank·ful

adjective \ˈthaŋk-fəl\

: glad that something has happened or not happened, that something or someone exists, etc.

: of, relating to, or expressing thanks

Source

Welcome to this week's edition of Thankful Thursday!

When I sit down to compose my Thankful Thursday post each week, I try to come up with a simple list of things I am grateful for in my life over the past week. I make a bullet point list and share that with you. I am a big believer in the fact that we should express our gratitude for even the simple little things in life and that being grateful is a choice we make which can have a huge and lasting impact on our lives.

Right after sharing my Thankful Thursday post last week, I wound up in an even worse funk for a day or so. Not fun at all! There's nothing like trying your hardest to feel positive one day - even when you have to stretch to make that happen - only to feel anything but the next.

I can't say I know exactly what happened that particular day, but I do know this. I'm not a real "crunchy granola" mom. However, I was introduced to essential oils earlier in the year and have a handful which I began using regularly. I probably lean more to the skeptical side where things like this are concerned, but I can assure you that they were helping me! That said, I had fallen out of using them regularly. It was enough of a difference for my husband to question whether I had been using them or not. With that, I got back into the habit and I can tell you that I feel so much better. It is unbelievable. Except it is believable because I feel like a new person.

So, this week I am thankful for essential oils. I am thankful for how much better I feel when I use them regularly. I am thankful to be over the funk hump and feel much more like "me".

I am also thankful for my precious 10 year old daughter. She decided several months ago that she would like to donate her hair. Of course, at the time, it wasn't long enough and her hair has a wave to it, making it seem to take forever to grow longer. She was desperately in need of a haircut whether there was enough to donate or not. I love her long hair. It's cool "beachy" hair. But she's 10 and needs to learn how to take care of it better. It tangles so easily and is a nightmare to comb out sometimes. As I was also in desperate need of a major cut, I contacted my hair stylist and set us up for appointments yesterday.

I am thankful to Jeanette at Splash Urban Hair Loft who was able to cut 10 inches off Moira's hair for donation as well as give her a fantastic "grown up" do. She also gave me a new style while chopping off quite a bit of hair and thinning it out. My hair grows like crazy. It gets thick and heavy and frumpy pretty quickly. I am thankful for a fresh new look!

What are you thankful for this week?

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Thankful Thursday #138

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah {the fontenot four}) — Thu, 03 Jul 2014 04:05:00 +0000

thank·ful

adjective \ˈthaŋk-fəl\

: glad that something has happened or not happened, that something or someone exists, etc.

: of, relating to, or expressing thanks

Source

Welcome to this week's edition of Thankful Thursday!

When I sit down to compose my Thankful Thursday post each week, I try to come up with a simple list of things I am grateful for in my life over the past week. I make a bullet point list and share that with you. I am a big believer in the fact that we should express our gratitude for even the simple little things in life and that being grateful is a choice we make which can have a huge and lasting impact on our lives.

I've had a difficult time of late. I have been struggling with a lot of emotions lately. I know that grief has no set timeline and that it is different for every person and even different for each loss we personally experience. I suppose I felt that once we were past the first anniversary of Peyton's passing {May 4}, that I would feel some relief and that things would just be better. Yes, the date passed and I felt like I was able to breathe again after anticipating the date.

The month of June, however, was just hard! Very difficult. I wasn't expecting that. The funk I feel like I have been in for the past few weeks or so was just not what I was expecting.

I don't know that flipping the calendar page over to the month of July is some sort of magical cure for the June funk. However, I do feel a slight reprieve from some of the things which have been weighing me down.

How is any of this related to it being "Thankful Thursday" today?

I am thankful that in the last few days I have been more aware of some of the things I have been feeling. I am recognizing that the issues I have had and the emotions tied to them are not of God. In talking it out with my husband, I really realized this. I should have realized it earlier. I am grateful to him for helping me get to this realization and for being there with me through the funk.

I am thankful to have God as my strength, especially when I've felt weak.

I am thankful to have seen how the enemy can sneak in just like that. I am thankful that I recognized it for what it was.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. {John 10:10, NIV}

I am thankful for that promise. God does not want us to have lives of sadness, sorrow, despair, anger, bitterness, resentment, or any other such life. As I look back on how I have been feeling, I can't imagine a God who would desire that I live a life feeling the way I was feeling. I also know that the areas which were being affected are ones where I know I am weak.

I am thankful for God placing people in my life with whom I can speak openly about life, who are present with me in times such as these, and who speak life into me and lift me up.

What are you thankful for this week?

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Thankful Thursday #137

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah {the fontenot four}) — Thu, 26 Jun 2014 04:05:00 +0000

thank·ful

adjective \ˈthaŋk-fəl\

: glad that something has happened or not happened, that something or someone exists, etc.

: of, relating to, or expressing thanks

Source

Welcome to this edition of Thankful Thursday! Whether you're here for the first time or have been visiting each week for a while, I am so glad you have taken the time to visit.

I am thankful for many things this week including:

* A safe trip back to South Carolina from Texas. It was about 1,100 miles of driving over EACH of the last two weekends. Yes, that's over 2,200 miles of driving round trip. It was about 18 hours each way.

* To not be sitting in a car for prolonged periods of time at the moment!

* A nice visit with so many people over the past week in Texas. I hadn't been back in over 5 years and, so, had not seen many of those people in that much time. I regret not being able to see everyone I wanted to though.

* An impromptu side trip to New Orleans on the return trip - just for a few hours. It broke up the day on Saturday and, while it was exceptionally "sultry" in NOLA, it was nice to make the stop.

* A fantastic check up at the orthopaedic surgeon yesterday. It was my last visit to him regarding my ankle injury and surgery. While he is a great doctor, I hope I don't ever have to see him again! I am OVER this injury. It happened 9.5 months ago {surgery 6 months ago}. I am grateful for continued healing!

What are you thankful for this week?

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Thankful Thursday - Year 3 Week 32

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah {the fontenot four}) — Thu, 19 Jun 2014 05:10:00 +0000

thank·ful

adjective \ˈthaŋk-fəl\

: glad that something has happened or not happened, that something or someone exists, etc.

: of, relating to, or expressing thanks

Source

Welcome to this edition of Thankful Thursday! Whether you're here for the first time or have been visiting each week for a while, I am so glad you have taken the time to visit.

I am thankful for many things this week including:

* A fun time at a department "family fun day" with Ron's work last Friday. Moira and I joined him at a local area park for food and fun times. It was a nice day enjoyed by all.

* Family road trips. We're on one right now. We left Saturday to head back to Texas to visit Ron's family. He and Moira have been back each year since we moved away in 2008, but I have not been back since 2009 {because of Peyton's medical issues}. 17 hours 44 minutes of driving {yes, we split it in half!}, covering 1,012 miles, and we made it late Sunday afternoon. Despite some ongoing issues with our car's air conditioning, we survived the trip and look forward to doing it all again in reverse this coming weekend as we head home.

* Enjoying some yummy bits of Texas goodness while on vacation. As I said, I haven't been back in over 5 years. There is a lot I don't miss about Texas, but one of the things I do miss is the food you just can't get in Charleston, SC. For instance, the beloved kolache. I haven't had one of these in years. I used to consume them with more regularity than was probably healthy. Oh, they are so delicious!! What's a kolache? Find out HERE.

* An opportunity to visit the Houston Museum of Natural Science to see a piece of history dating back to 1217 - the Magna Carta. The "Great Charter" {as seen below} was written in medieval Latin. The exhibit at the museum chronicled the events of the time, the English Monarchy, levels within society, the Crusades, and so on. The Magna Carta is fully explained in the exhibit and is translated so we can understand what it says. This great document became a foundation for the law of the land in England, but centuries later would serve as a model for what became the U.S. Bill of Rights. Amazing.

* The opportunity to meet Kelli from the blog Eat, Pray, Read, Love. She and I have been online "blog friends" for a few years now. She's been a follower here since nearly the beginning. She lives not too far from where we are visiting, so we made arrangements to meet yesterday. I am so thankful that we were able to do that. She is incredibly sweet. She and her family we so welcoming to us. If you ever wonder how "real" the people whose blogs you read really are, well she's the real deal. She really is. I hope we get to meet up again soon!

What are you thankful for this week?

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Thankful Thursday - Year 3 Week 31

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah {the fontenot four}) — Thu, 12 Jun 2014 04:05:00 +0000

thank·ful

adjective \ˈthaŋk-fəl\

: glad that something has happened or not happened, that something or someone exists, etc.

: of, relating to, or expressing thanks

Source

Welcome to this edition of Thankful Thursday! Whether you're here for the first time or have been visiting each week for a while, I am so glad you have taken the time to visit.

I am thankful for many things this week including:

* Getting this post done! Seriously. I almost did not. That would have been a blow to me, as I've not missed a week since starting this link up! As I said, if you're new here, I'm glad you're reading! If you've been coming around here a while, I'm glad you're back!

* Sleep. I'm thankful that I only have to set my alarm for the days I work and not Monday through Friday. School's out. I can ditch the one alarm set on my phone...at least til mid-August!

* Reading. I've mentioned a couple times lately that I've been reading an awful lot lately. I've managed to dig in to some great fiction books and haven't been able to put them down til they were finished! I just finished reading books one and two of a trilogy {the third book is due out in October} by Sarah Fine. It's the "Guards of the Shadowlands" trilogy. I finished the first book, Sanctum, in just a couple days and immediately dug into the second book, Fractured. I read that one in a day. Perhaps I'll share more thoughts on the books here one day, but if you're looking for good Christian fiction, this isn't it. If you are into dystopian young adult fiction, along the lines of Divergent or The Mortal Instruments series, then you might enjoy this if you haven't discovered it yet. I'll say that the premise is not "happy" and is maybe more on the "morbid" side, but I found it to be rather fascinating. Look into it if you're curious. Different, for sure, but great reads. I tend to read a lot of fiction books that are more on the "grim" side of the spectrum. Anyway, I love finding books that I can get so wrapped up in that I can't put them down until I finish. Now I have to wait until October for the third installment.

* Work. I just love my job. Really, I do. It's part time in the cafe and bookstore at church. I work a few days a week. The hours have been great. The environment is wonderful, as are my co-workers. I have had more coffee in the last couple months of working there than perhaps ever in my life up until the last couple of months, but it's all good! One of the "perks" of working in a cafe!

What are you thankful for this week?

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Thankful Thursday - Year 3 Week 30

noreply@blogger.com (Sarah {the fontenot four}) — Thu, 05 Jun 2014 04:05:00 +0000

thank·ful

adjective \ˈthaŋk-fəl\

: glad that something has happened or not happened, that something or someone exists, etc.

: of, relating to, or expressing thanks

Source

Welcome to this edition of Thankful Thursday! Whether you're here for the first time or have been visiting each week for a while, I am so glad you have taken the time to visit.

I am thankful for many things this week including:

* The end of fourth grade! This is been the most challenging year, by far. Fourth grade is just more "difficult" in general. What is being taught is more advanced than Moira's had, of course, but it wasn't as much of a "little kid" grade {if that makes sense} than we've been used to. Also, there was a change in the curriculum this past school year. This was our first year in the "Common Core" curriculum. It was a complete change in how the kids are being taught, not just what they are being taught. Moira finished out the school year with about a 95% average, so I am pretty darned proud of her!

* Play dates! This is not something Moira has had much experience with over the years - with her classmates, that is. She plays with the neighborhood kids, sure, but she has never really been part of any play date groups with other kids in her class. Yesterday she had a play date with her best friend from school. They hadn't seen each other in about 5 days and it was crazy how excited Moira was to see her! You'd think they'd been separated for months!

* Summer reading. I've been plowing through so many books lately. Fiction - mostly crime fiction. I finally hit a book that I just could not get into. It's still sitting on my nightstand with 5 or 6 other library books of the same genre, bookmark in place at about page 40 - where it has been for days. I decided that maybe I needed a break from this genre, so I reverted back to my Kindle and began a YA {young adult} fiction book that had been on there for ages, unread. I got through that fairly quickly and even began another YA book of a different series. I left that, however, and picked up one of my library books. I would like to read them before they are due after all! What are you reading this summer?

What are you thankful for this week?

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