The Fool's Quest

Sentience

2026-08-05T13:05:16.159+05:30

The worm is hungry, at the other end an inviting odor,

The terrain in-between noxious, a single neuron inhibits crossing order.

That I can explain on the basis of a neuron, the behavioral response,

Makes me treat it as non-sentient, to be crushed as a sponge.

The fly is courting and mating, there's a dopamine rush,

The dopamine inhibits the circuit, that makes it fly when I crush.

That levels of a neurotransmitter, can explain its readiness to act,

Makes me treat the fly as expendable, put them in the non-conscious set.

The worm and the fly, are pulled between pleasure and pain,

Between a catastrophic loss, and possibilities of gain.

If chemicals and cells, can explain all their feat,

Are they conscious, have agency, can they choose or feel?

I think they are sentient, we can give them the benefit of doubt,

They suffer and pine like we do, though they may not cry out loud.

PS: This poem was inspired by reading this article today by long-time blogger-days friend Bjorn Brembs.

How Many Tabs Are Optimal?

2026-08-04T23:11:16.671+05:30

100 tabs in my browser, I keep flitting from one to the next,

With each notification, I switch context, I'm monkey mind at best.

The Dionysian within me wants to jump, play all day around,

Can't stay in the same place for entire day, routines do not me bound.

I work with a single tab open, which leaves me deeply engrossed,

The topic is arcane and specialized, interaction leaves me grossed.

The Apollonian within me needs to hide, behind structure and routine,

Only the home is a safe and familiar place, to venture out I'm not keen.

I can have 50 tabs open, organized in groups of 10,

Enable important notifications, take control of attention again.

I can balance my boundless energy, with calm and thought-through restraint,

Can schedule novelty on my calendar, daily make room to write and paint.

Between the monkey and the robot, lies a space for me to act,

I can be intentional about when to focus, and when to let dreams distract.

Eat, Move, Sleep- part 2

2026-08-04T00:21:21.722+05:30

Eat the super foods, and you will live to see a hundred years,

But what if I don't recognize you, my brain constantly fears.

I read, do Sudoku frenetically, all to keep dementia at bay,

If only I had danced instead, that would have saved the day.

Move and hit the gym daily, to lower Cortisol,

Track like a maniac your steps, always be on a roll.

If you want the blood to flow, and vessels to dilate,

Laugh multiple times a day, with silliness mandate.

Sleep like a log for 8 hrs, it buffers against stress,

By conserving your energy, you can fight any duress.

If you are exposed to cold, and want to boost immunity,

Just hug a loved one regularly, let touch be in your kitty.

When you sing in a choir, or hear a poem, your hearts come into a sync,

Eat, move, sleep is fine, but live, love, laugh is the real deal- let that sink.

Tackling Dissonance

2026-08-02T17:41:24.794+05:30

I can win at this game of life, code my way to the very top,

Can go back to college, accumulate degrees, and never really stop.

I can publish my book of sonnets, put my money where my heart is,

I can abdicate all worldly aspirations, and just follow my bliss.

I must however raise a unicorn, make my Alma Mater proud,

Must become a world authority, not just one in the crowd.

I must write a sonnet daily, take time to hone my craft,

I must self-improve, not be satisfied with the unpolished draft.

I am but a fighter, have picked up AI and stuff,

Am a self-taught psych expert, have read more than enough.

I am a poet par-excellence, who can invoke the muse at will,

I have made peace with the human condition, by heart know the drill.

My experience of life, at times doesn't fit, with my beliefs of who I am, must or can be,

At that moment I bridge the gap, by being flexible, and changing my definition of 'me'.

Here and Now

2026-08-01T13:27:31.802+05:30

I have been swept awash in the past, with fear, hurt, rage and grief,

Many were never reconciled with, I dwelt on them but brief.

I pushed them deep in the recesses, of my unconscious mind,

They surface now and then in new contexts, how to suppress I'm in a bind.

Healing feels like a loss of self. what I'm sans my patterns and quirks,

When I start doubting who I really am, re-opening the wound works.

This accumulated energy is painful though, it holds a sway on me,

Will continue to dictate my reactions, till what it is I learn to see.

When I'm once more sad and angry, it's rarely about the issue or you,

It's old pain asserting its right to exist, not bound by what's in the moment true.

If I were to lessen its hold on me, I've to deal with the long-lost stuff,

Be aware of and accept what I'm feeling now, the pain of memories old and rough.

The trauma that once kept me captive, if I process can set me free,

Each trigger is an opportunity to be in the now, and change what I'm unfolding to be.

The Clash of Mythologies - Part 2

2026-07-31T01:48:13.442+05:30

Gods are on their Mt. Olympus, all is right with the earth,

At times they mingle with the mortals, and to heroes give birth.

A gulf divided Gods and men, that Prometheus tried to surmount,

Driven by passion, he tried defying fate, was on a torment at last count.

When Gods don't have all the answers, and Oracle of limited use,

You start asking your own self, what's all this for, what's the ruse?

Miles away, seated near the master, Nachiketa asks similarly Yama,

What's the secret of immortality, we are born again, how come?

God is but one immortal, there's Atman in each of us,

The microcosm mirrors the macrocosm, the Brahman we are thus.

The gods permeate our body, are our breath, our speech and sight,

You can keep saying no to questions, till you get the answer right.

Gods may be indifferent and external, or they merge with us as one,

As long as we keep asking questions, we'll arrive at conclusions some.

Chicken or Egg?

2026-07-30T17:20:58.250+05:30

It's not who you are underneath, but what you do, that defines you,

A painful reminder intentions are sterile, until you act and make them true.

You may wish 'Sarve Bhvanti Sukhinah', believe yourself to be noble and good,

All that will not exonerate you, if your actions didn't the test of time stood.

Don't judge a person, but his actions, is a dictum I hold dear,

If he repents and mends his actions, he can become better is clear.

So if I want a couch potato to be healthy, should I ask him to daily walk,

Or revel in his new identity of a walker, and on his earlier identity baulk.

If I ask someone to vote, they may vote to a small degree,

But if I ask them to be a voter, they'll internalize that decree,

And vote in large numbers, cause actions follow the self-concept,

If I want to change my actions, working on my 'self' works the best.

You may re-conceptualize yourself all you want, at the end it'll still be true,

It's not who you are underneath, but what you do, that defines you.

The Clash of Mythologies

2026-07-30T00:29:13.995+05:30

Fall from grace, then return to paradise,

On the day of Judgement, from the grave rise.

Enjoy eternal heaven, or be condemned to hell,

Depends whether you sinned, or acted pious and well.

Only a single God exists, one life to live and pray,

He created angels and devil, like night and day.

There is another possibility, that there are more than a few gods,

You fall in one life and atone in next, the goddess gently nods.

Nothing by itself is right or wrong, dharma depends on context and role,

The law of Karma keeps you in check, with the threat you may be reborn a mole.

All around you are brimming with consciousness, each soul potentially divine,

Infinite lives to master the cosmic play, and become godly and sublime.

Time here is cyclic, this world but one of many,

God is all around you, not patented by any.

This or That?

2026-07-28T01:07:19.399+05:30

Isolation is terrifying, no one gets you,

No bridge to the other, except in moments that are few.

Isolation is exhilarating, you can't the other control,

No matter how close you get, it doesn't take a toll.

Meaninglessness is disorienting, you have nothing to lean on,

When nothing's sacred upfront, grounding frameworks are all but gone.

Meaninglessness is empowering, on each act you can put your stamp,

You can find meaning in your suffering, as to why you are in a concentration camp.

Freedom is a lifelong sentence, you are condemned to choose,

No one to pass the blame on, when in life's game you lose.

Freedom is a privilege, you can be an author of your life,

Continue smiling, even when the joker wields a knife.

Death is an abomination, makes you tremble and wither in pain,

Death is the ultimate liberator, makes you choose life over and over again.

What To Do (In The Therapy Room)?

2026-07-26T19:21:37.971+05:30

Interpret dreams, let them free-associate, look for that occasional Freudian slip,

Like an Indiana Jones excavate buried tombs, and let their ghosts be exorcised in a blip.

They may latch onto you, like they did to their parents, arousing feelings and passions in you,

They may be heavily guarding, what even they don't know, your mission to resistance breakthrough.

Monitor each phrase, keep asking what does it mean, till you arrive at their core belief,

Let them challenge their thoughts, and when it changes how they feel, heave a sigh of relief.

Like Socrates ask many questions, paraphrase, listen deeply but sans judgement,

In the beginning your task to make connection, towards end letting go without sentiment.

Look for stunted growth, accepting them for who they are, a potential waiting to be realized,

As per original plan, they were meant to flourish, it's not their fault if God downsized.

Just walk in their shoes, for a mile or a while, ease their pain without hurting your sole,

Jump into the encounter, without ifs and buts, bringing your body, mind and soul.

You've lost your way in the labyrinth, enough of techniques and doing,

Your presence is more than enough, all your life haven't you worked on just being?

My Walden

2026-07-22T00:32:05.466+05:30

Meditate in awe of the forest, build a cabin by the pond,

When you center yourself daily, you won't react, but respond.

The illusion of busyness stripped away, fill it with food that you can grow,

Read obscure tomes to your heart's content, and wonder how little you know.

Nature acts as the faithful clock, you are a master of your time,

Your actions answer to your own needs, nine times out of nine.

Needs reduced to a bare minimum, a bed, a desk, three chairs,

Cut-off from the world you muse, if there's someone who cares?

You have pruned but all connections, are in touch with just a few ,

Now free and unencumbered, does that decision you secretly rue?

The point of the experiment was paring, to get rid of all the stuff,

Couple of years of living alone, and you're ready to leave in a huff?

The thought experiment is quite revealing, as all the masks I peel,

Of programming, psychology, philosophy, only poetry remains, I feel.

Ready to Pay?

2026-07-20T20:10:12.913+05:30

Buying Whey is not enough, if good health is what you care,

Pay daily with your morning walks, and do push ups, to be fair.

Steal time from work and meetings, there's a tradeoff to be made,

Invest instead in leisure and love- that's a price worth to be paid.

You may have all the time in the world, leisure won't come for free,

First pay the price by plunging deep, discover who you're meant to be.

When you start attuning to yourself, hobbies will like music heal,

But before you can rest and rejuvenate, 'Who Am I?' you need to deal.

Love won't arrive on cupid's arrows, you have to become a soul mate,

Lay bare your soul and innards, can't leave tenderness to fate.

Let the price of vulnerability sting, there will be rejections galore,

You have to still be ready to undress, not afraid of the wound in store.

Writing daily is not enough, if a poet you want to be,

Be ready to pay the price, that not many your poems will see.

Liberation, anyone?

2026-07-17T00:08:58.563+05:30

I hunt in a pack, track my prey, wolf is my totem god,

In the name of the wolf, I kill the elk, and even gods applaud.

I kill them with their permission, it's all for the greater good,

Their sacrifice enables I survive, not perish in this wood.

I farm near rivers, pray for rain, earth is my mother goddess,

I kill the plants, plant the seeds, regeneration is earth's prowess.

From the seeds springs new life, even cut-n-dried trunks regenerate,

I let the husk turn to compost, don't leave the rebirth to fate.

I herd and roam, search new lands, Krishna is my patron god,

My flock may graze, till it kills the land, but Gopala frets not.

I move ahead, the land lies fallow, it sure as sun will flower again,

That I invade and plunder is a minor trouble, for the mountains and the plain.

All life is but violence, you need to sacrifice an animal or a tree,

For tree, the trunk or seed begets new life, for the animal, he is set free.

The Call

2026-07-12T18:58:57.810+05:30

The forest is clenching closer, night looms ahead,

If I venture forth in darkness, I'll most likely be dead.

I've waited forever at the entrance, of the dangerous den,

The chant is becoming louder, if not now, then when?

Woods mock the faint of heart, the payoff is not clear,

If I listen to my brain, in this adventure I won't veer.

Many get inspired, few take a stance, it's a jungle, not a zoo,

A silent voice keeps whispering, If not me, then who?

The game teases and tantalizes, you're hungry, need to be fed,

For you I'll slay dragons, and with witches readily bed.

Treasures or ballads don't move me, but for love there is always room,

Your eyes gently tug at my heartstrings; if not for you, then for whom?

I might not be a hero, the quest not mine, but you're worth fighting for,

Now that you need, and have given the call, I won't dither any more.

Eat, Move, Sleep

2026-07-11T00:26:18.114+05:30

Eat lots of fruits and veggies, avoid pizza like the plague,

That's a clear manual for healthy life, nothing's hazy or vague.

Consume what nourishes you, stop doom-scrolling clickbait,

You are what you read and absorb, don't leave it to fate.

Move a leg daily, go on a walk, do exercise,

You need to stretch and workout, to be the right size.

Let thoughts and ideas churn, don't ruminate or get stuck,

Argue daily with yourself, and you'll think clearly, by any luck.

Sleep like a log, for 8-10 hrs, don't in the evening take caffeine,

For a fruitful day the night should stand, for deep sleep and lucid dream.

Get detached from your isms and ideologies, now and then take a break,

If you are ready to revise and let go, a beautiful philosophy you'll make.

Eat, move, sleep daily. don't forget with others to laugh,

Navel-gazing will only take you so far, letting your guard is the other half.

The Two Birds

2026-07-09T23:31:36.169+05:30

Usually in sync, two birds live in my soul,

One watches without passion, the other identifies with role.

The one observing knows, but doesn't feel in its bones,

When things get overwhelming, I get split in zones.

I remember the events, but they lack any feel,

They didn't really happen, is how I rationalize and deal.

But the experience is embedded, the body keeps the score,

Any small trigger cascades, the dynamite in store.

Some say I've repressed, and that gives the memories charge,

When you keep under pressure, the lava will eventually barge.

Others say I've dissociated, my parts stranger to me,

To integrate requires blessings, of powers to be.

Analyze me all you want, neither of the birds is going to die,

I know I'll fly again, by and by.

A Tech Saga (Circa 2026)

2026-07-09T13:03:47.701+05:30

I'm on a treadmill, feeling all burnt out,

The future looks grim, I'm headed for a rout.

I won't recommend, that you follow in my step,

It's chaos all around, I'm out of my depth.

I'm on a joyride, moving faster and better,

Have sprouted new wings, and broken the fetter.

I enjoy my work, I now have a Personal Assistant,

The PA will replace me, is a possibility distant.

I'm on a see-saw, barely pulling through,

Can't make out what's hype, and what's really true.

I churn more stuff, and the quality goes down,

Excited and uneasy, I both smile and frown.

That AI will come for my job, is not my strongest worry,

It's I'll be asked to do more, and with ever more hurry.

'Icarus'

2026-07-09T09:33:31.563+05:30

Image generated by author using Gemini

Waiting for my time, under the sun,
As wax starts to melt, it’s ‘Icarus Begun’.
The Nemesis is within, my ambition, my thrill,
The shadow doesn’t disappear, goes for the kill.

Waiting to escape, from the Ivory Towers,
‘The Furry Knight Rises’, defying earthly powers.
Years of oblivion, no one has risen from The Pit,
Sculpted by darkness, I lose myself a large bit.

Waiting with trepidation, as the sea looms near,
‘Icarus Returns’, faces his darkest fear.
I may drown soon, the wings are getting wet,
No glory for me, I haven’t even myself met.

Waiting for the mask, to slip and reveal,
‘Icarus Forever’, I’ll fly again and heal.

PS: This was first published on medium here.

A Poet's Legacy

2026-07-05T14:46:03.040+05:30

A poet of verse, or a poet of life,

To be lyrical always, would be oh so nice.

A life full of rhythm, with reason and rhyme,

To dance in sync with others, is a feeling sublime.

To feel and be felt, is no small art,

To make room in heart, requires special craft.

Words on paper, can inspire for years,

A life lived well, can pierce deep my dears.

Money could be earned, by writing prose,

By selling bulky books- which you read till you doze.

Life itself, can become boring and long,

The prosaic bits, eclipsing the poetical song.

If the world must remember, let it be my poetical style,

Not my collection of sonnets, by my life without guile.

The Collector

2026-06-21T22:52:08.953+05:30

Wrapped in vibrant colors, the butterfly caught my eye,

A desire to possess was born, did I care if she could die?

Her mere presence mesmerizes, if I don't catch, her memories will haunt,

She can leave my hand, but my heart? Won't in dreams she tease and taunt?

With gaze transfixed, I was so stupefied, I just couldn't muster courage,

She gave me a slip, vanished out in the world, leaving me with a raw umbrage.

Was I not worthy of her charm, how dare she defy, my will, my desire,

I'm seething inside, let her burn too, I don't care if the consequences are dire.

My album's filled with beautiful wings, but they are never enough,

A new color pattern emerges now and then, awakening my inner buff.

How can one of them fulfill me, either alive or dead,

With millions floating around this earth, whom I could covet instead.

Lust, Anger, Greed, there's a greater sin in Pride,

That I'm the best collector, on my hands the most have died.

In His Image

2026-06-16T18:41:00.570+05:30

The primitive knowledge, that I'm separate from earth,

A desire to explain consciousness, led to Brahma's birth.

Brahma created the universe, he was moved by desire,

Got burnt by his own passion, couldn't tame the fire.

While hunting and harvesting, we needed Vishnu by our side.

If offerings and prayers got results, we needn't from demons hide.

Vishnu grants wealth and prosperity, like us is Karma bound,

Right efforts lead to rewards, while bad actions in next birth hound.

Sci- tech is on ascendance, we expect Shiva to retire,

Evolution explains away, but the consequences are dire.

When power dynamics shift, Shiva retreats to his samadhi,

Destruction reigns supreme, from anant to anadi.

Now that the need is over, you may secretly rejoice that God is dead,

Look inside and you'll find a void, that something vital is missing instead.

The Gospel of Me

2026-06-15T19:12:56.429+05:30

Lapping every drop, as the gospel of truth,

Feeling entitled, to the fountain of youth.

I drank from great men, every saying, every quote,

Certain I'll become perfect, in a matter of days GOAT.

Words are but mirages, they can't hunger quench,

They propel us forward, till reality puts a wrench.

What others drew forth, lingers always on the horizon,

To nourish your soul, become a source, a rainmaker, my son.

Let words gush out from depth, channelize them and use,

Let it deplete your level if need be, some acid too you'll lose.

All around you are in pain and pining, let go of pearls of wisdom,

Let them look towards heaven, unleash the storm within, and some.

Blood, tears, sweat, pour all your venom on this page,

It'll be lapped by future Gens, as the gospel of this age.

Absurd Living

2026-06-11T16:00:30.719+05:30

You remained garrisoned all your life, suddenly death knocks on the door,

No matter how much you fuse with beloved, you'll die alone for sure.

You poured your passion, the work doesn't fill, whom do you now blame?

There's no meaning to grab, you have to stitch it yourself, isn't that so lame?

The heart pines for some structure, a pattern behind which to hide,

That life is random and chaotic, can you take it in your stride?

Life doesn't owe you anything, it need not your wishes fulfill,

It doesn't care whether you limp in despair, or in glory yourself kill.

The world is indifferent is a lie we're told, the stranger smiles and cares.

The heart may not get clarity upfront, but it can create one if it dares.

The world, made of others, can care a bit, we can perhaps meet midway,

Instead of searching for meaning outside, we can mindfully forge our way.

Confronting the absurd can be traumatic, it can also heal and transform.

You have to look in the abyss only once, and can stay calm in the later storm.

Time to Don Another Mask?

2026-06-08T19:36:33.476+05:30

Living against the backdrop, of my own autobiography,

I tried to fit the labels - that I did science and philosophy.

A persona carefully crafted, the mask melted into the face,

The true self, if there was any, disappeared in the haze.

Disfigured and dismembered, it grew ugly and bland,

No matter the clothes I donned, to look majestic and grand.

Sometimes a poet, a programmer, someone passionate about psych,

I had to justify my existence and catch your eyes, make sure you notice and like.

When I started I was OK, to be exposed and without a mask,

To be a good human being, was my only wish and life task.

Over time reality dawned, that there were missing beacons in the night,

That the mask comes along with the cape, is something I no longer fight.

In trying to mold to your demands and needs, I've lost myself bit by bit,

I can still try to be a good human being, but that persona my face may no longer fit.

The Great Gambler

2026-06-02T23:46:24.815+05:30

We are all enamored by the IPO's, and the million dollar exit,

At some level we understand its luck, and not all a result of grit.

But the 9 out of 10 that fold up, and in shame and disgrace go bankrupt,

They don't come to mind that easily, when you decide to launch a start-up.

Everyone around you is a founder, building left and right,

How can you be left behind, and in a job keep sitting tight?

The stakes are high, and rest assured, you won't get a regular pay,

But whenever you'll get a client or funding, you'll be on seventh sky for the day.

You've invested a lot already, money, time, yourself,

To think of quitting after all this, is a betrayal in itself.

What are you if not a founder, you take risks, you gamble it all,

Even if your venture is just limping along, you start again, after the fall.

I can name all the biases and heuristics, that compel me to again and again start,

That may be the way the gambler's mind works, but I'll master the winning jackpot art.