FFcricket.com - online home of the Founding Fathers Cricket Club 2008 WORLD CHAMPIONS!!

The way of things at the FFCC

2013-10-16T19:23:00.000+11:00

A walk down memory lane for the old school and an education for the new school.

Glossary of FFCC terms (click on any image to expand)

Eddie has a question for Sao about cheese

2013-03-07T21:09:00.001+11:00

Well do you Sao? Do you? (make sure you watch right to the end.....)

Fabulous Founding Fathers Find Form and Flay Unfortunate Fools (x2)

2013-02-06T13:36:00.000+11:00

SAO aka 'Tony Danza'

Another Tuesday night, another double header.

Last night a full strength FFCC squad assembled, for a change. The air crackled with anticipation of what was to come.

The first lambs to the slaughter were HAQ FC, a confusing name for a confused team.

Buckets and Zippy led the Fathers charge and battled gallantly for a steady 19 runs (they were -15 after the first ball). Next in were Itchy and Choc who smashed 21 runs for their allotted four overs. The third pair was all about the father and son duo of Beaver and Rio. A stoic but unlucky innings ended in only 5 runs.

Three pairs down and only 45 runs in the bank, up step Nads and Harmie. Their innings went something like this: smash, smash, tonk, dink, TONK, TONK, SMASH. Once the smoke cleared Harmie and Nads had poured on another 62 runs and the Fathers had something to defend (107 for those of you who are mathematically challenged).

Long story short, HAQ were much better bowlers and fielders than they were batsmen and they need to be much better against the bowling attack that the FFCC had assembled.

Bowling:
Itchy: 3/5
Zippy: 1/16
Beaver: 3/2
Nads: 3/9
Harmie: 1/16
Choco: 2/17
Rio: 1/27
Buckets: 4/-3

HAQ amassed only 91 runs, 17 runs short of victory.

NEXT!

Up step the genetically challenged Partridge Family. Looking resplendent in their usual ensemble of kmart chic tops and too short shorts the miserable bastards sent the FFCC straight back into the field, that was their first mistake.

The Fathers were warmed up and raring to go. Another exceptional bowling and fielding effort (exceptional by FFCC standards you understand) saw the Fathers restrict the shallow end of the gene pool to only 74 runs.

Bowling:
Zippy: 0/24
Tony Danza: 3/10
Beaver: 2/21
Harmie: 3/1
Rio: 5/-6!!
Itchy: 4/-3
Nads: 1/22
Buckets: 3/5

Next comes the batting bit and Buckets and Sao opened. What a show! Not a cricket show but some sort of show that this cub reporter is still struggling to comes to term with almost 24 hours later. 20 runs from the first pair and thing are looking good. Next in were Zippy and Itchy. Run outs and catches aplenty in that pair and only 21 runs scored. Third pair was the famous father and son pairing of Beaver and Rio. An entertaining innings saw them better their first game total by 2 runs to finish up on 7 for the third pair. 48 runs after three pairs, pretty pathetic really. 27 runs need for victory.

Nads and Harmie step up again and bludgeon a lazy, lucky, languorous, limber, loose and lusty 74 runs (the innings had everything) to give the Fathers 122 runs and victory number two for the night!

No time to rest on the laurels however because next week's game is at 2130 hours and the team is as follows:

9.30pm 12 February
Harmie: captain
Nads: beer boy
Itchy
Sao
Zippy
Beaver
Choc
Buckets
Gilly

Separated at Birth?

2012-09-10T19:03:00.002+10:00

In fiction and folklore, a doppelgänger (German "double walker") (pronounced [ˈdɔpəlˌɡɛŋɐ] ( listen)) is a paranormal double of a living person, typically representing evil or misfortune.
In modern vernacular it is simply any double or look-alike of a person. It also describes the sensation of having glimpsed oneself in peripheral vision, in a position where there is no chance that it could have been a reflection. Doppelgängers often are perceived as a sinister form of bilocation and are regarded by some to be harbingers of bad luck. In some traditions, a doppelgänger seen by a person's friends or relatives portends illness or danger, while seeing one's own doppelgänger is an omen of death.

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doppelg%C3%A4nger

The Mare has left the building.......NEIGH!

2011-08-11T12:17:00.008+10:00

THE MAYOR’S LAST STAND

The 'Mare' (aka Mayor McCheese, aaka The Panther) led the Fathers out of the gates and pipped the Stump Jumpers at the post: 185 – 109. The Mare opened the batting and then later, with tears in his eyes, bowled the final victorious delivery of the match.

In his last stand, the newly dubbed The Mare, (as recorded on the official score card) wreaked havoc on the pitch belting runs with the bat and cutting batsmen in half with his bowling. “I reckon I bowled the best ball of my career in me first over mate ... NNEEEEIIGGHHHHH!!!” said the champagne soaked Mare in the post match press conference.

The Fathers put in an inspirational performance on the pitch and then raised the bar in post match festivities to send off The Mare in style. Even Billy the Kid weighed in with an announcement that he is finally making the Fathers honest men with the impending birth of Billy Junior.

There were jubilant calls of “Neeeeeeeighhhhhhh!!” throughout the traditional post match score card review.

“Not a bad time to semi-retire after a performance like that and with the lads making all those whinnying noises” said The Mare as he hooked into a post match bbq garlic prawn roll.

The Fathers batted first:

The Mare 20 opened up with Billy the Dad 11 – Partnership 31;

Itchy 26 and Gilly 11 followed up with 37;

Choco 29 and China 15 raised the bar with 44; and

Nads 46 and Norris 27 put the result beyond doubt with a massive 73 run (not out) partnership

The Fathers defended 185:

Billy the Dad (4 for 7) struck early with a first ball jack pot wicket; the Slump Jumpers reeled.

The Mare (2 for 10) menaced the first partnership taking 2 for -1 to deny the first skin. The Slumpers shoulders dropped.

Itchy (3 for 2), Gilly (3 for 22) and Norris (3 for 16) were tidy denying a seemingly certain second skin. The Slumpers stewed. The Mare broke into a trot.

Choco (3 for 17), China (1 for 22), Norris and Gilly combined for 7 wickets to secure the third skin. Norris (Legend) sensationally blasted the stumps in a spectacular run out off Gilly’s last ball to take the skin by 2 runs. Snorkey on the sidelines crossed his legs in excitement.

Billy the Dad, Itchy and Nads (3 for 13) did the work early in the fourth partnership taking 7 for -2 leaving The Mare 8 final deliveries before being carried from the pitch to his adoring fans in the grandstand. Nads earned the Captain Mare’s BUNS award with his positive contribution of 33 in a 76 run drubbing.

BBQ steak, onion, bacon and cheese rolls, beers and Harmie were on the menu at Chez Norrisses for a fire side match report chat that the neighbours will talk about for years. The Mare was sent off in style. Now piss off and go to Sydney Mare! NNEEEEEIIIGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

PANTHER ADVISES FFCC BOARD "I'm Semi-Retiring"

2011-08-05T18:55:00.010+10:00

The Mayor is heading north to fight crime in the cricket nets and car parks of Sydney and WE ARE SENDING HIM OFF!!

NEXT WEEK 6:50pm CRICKET MATCH – SAO TO ANNOUNCE THE EIGHT – The Mayor will be on deck to Captain the Fathers to victory one last time

Then, after glorious victory, off to Norrises pad TO SEND OFF THE MAYOR. BBQ, beers, tunes, cricket on the flat screen and match report highlights of the FFCC Champion career of The Mayor, it’ll be on for young and old. (Okay,… old) The FFCC Board will be accepting donations to pour The Mayor into the back of a taxi and send him on his way after a champagne and chicken breakfast. All FFCC members, Semi-retired or not, including Gladdy, are welcome to attend the send off. Send us an RSVP to help confirm required numbers of bottles of dom perrignon. (and sausages and steaks of course, cookies for dessert!) (There will be some lettuce in the fridge if Nads feels like a salad.) STEP UP FELLAS TO SEND OFF THE MAYOR!!!

MATCH REPORT FOR THIS WEEK

DEBITANT PLUGGER (SYMO) TAKES THREE FOR NOTHIN'

Harmie notched up another milestone smashing another million runs for the Fathers last night with Nads following close behind (sorry Nads - your second dig doesn't count). But there was no "dig" at all from limp-arsed, trouble-footed Norris or debutant Plugger. "Maate, you'll pull a hammy or a calf, let's drink a beer" said Norris early in the first over. Harmy smashed another million in his second dig. (but it doesn’t count). The Mayor hit a few sevens and China chipped in cleverly turning a few wide deliveries outside off stump down to fine leg for a quick single. Itchy chopped serious wood.

Norris and Plugger did their bit in the field and left the run chase to the professionals with The Mayor leading a top batting line up with Harmie and Nads blasting away, Itchy hit straight and hard through the back net and China wore a hole in the net between fine and square leg. While batting the Fathers were robbed no less than 16 runs through a hole in the back net and it would have been the difference.

Norris made his impact in the field by dropping a sitter off Pluggerses fourth delivery in the baggy tie dye. Norris missed a few other chances as well but didn't exactly stand out from a generally laclustre performance in the field. (Okay - he stood out a bit) High performance coach Itchy was not pleased. But the Captain Panther was always ready to take a wicket.

Anyways, later in Pluggerses first over The Mayor reeled one in (catch) and Pluggerses maiden Fatherses wicket was well earned. And there were more to come in Pluggerses next over and the tide was actually momentarily stemmed. Itchy regularly sent stumps catapulting pretty much everywhere and was basically miffed that he hadn’t been offered several contracts in Sydney ahead of The Mayor.

But the wickets were otherwise few and far between. The FFCC played without a wicket keeper and Harmie was pissed as there had been stumping opportunities galore off his bowling. Harmie finally unleashed a fireball and pegged back the leg stump with aplomb. (I always wanted to use the word ‘aplomb’ in a match report)

Plugger earned in his nickname through his cat-like display of skills in the field keeping the ball off the net and making the batsmen earn their runs with quick shies at the stumps and plenty of wickets along the way. Whilst rubbing his chin in afterthought Plugger said "Yes, well, wasn't gonna play tonight but seeing as yous guys only had five blokes thought I'd better PLUG a few holes for yous". AND PLUG HOLES HE DID. PLUGGER WAS BORN!

In the end the Fathers only barely missed out on chasing down 200 for victory. If Norris and Plugger had gone in at the death – who knows?

FFCC wins coz we can

2011-06-08T18:39:00.004+10:00

Norris Diary entry 7 June 2011:

9pm arrive at car park for beers a 9:30pm start. No beer boy (Itchy) FINE!
Was keen to forget the cricket and hang out in the car park - beautiful evening, bit of rain about, -143 degrees celsius. Cars roll in first Snork then China, SAO.
9:15pm - still no Itchy - Double FINE!
9:16pm - Itchy and Nads arrive. Many tears of happiness that beer boy finally got there. Nads was well dressed complete with Friar Tuck and track pants tucked into socks with winter galoshes. The boys passed a hat around to raise funds for a new pair of pants but all funds raised (none) were redirected to new pair of childrens Xsml shorts for Newman.
9:20pm - Harmie, Gilly and the Prez roll in. No Billy.
9:30pm - head into stadium for match.
9:40pm - coin toss - Fathers lose toss and get sent in to bat. Still no Billy - FINE!

Partnership 1 - Harmy and Prez - 22 runs after two overs but a couple of late runouts and they finished on 31. Harmie 23, Prez 8.
Partnership 2 - Billy and SAO - scratched out 21 runs in gutsy effort. SAO 12, Billy 9
Partnership 3 - Nads and Gilly - steadied the ship with and effortless 44. Nads 19; Gilly 25
Partnership 4 - China and Itchy - pure entertainment - sparkling 44. China TOP SCORE 29 and Itchy 15.

FFCC 140 runs on the board. Defendable.

The worm tells the story - Cuz We Can't was off to a flier and looked to have it in the bag. Nadses shoulders dropped. The Fathers missed chance after chance. But the wheels fell off the run chase when CAPTAIN Gilly took the ball in hand in the 7th over. SAO did the damage in the 9th and China and The Prez finished the job in the 12th and 13th overs.Over 1 - Itchy 0 for 15
Over 2 - SAO 1 for 6
Over 3 - Billy 1 for 12
Over 4 - Prez 0 for 11
Over 5 - Harmy 0 for 21
Over 6 - Nads 0 for 12
Over 7 - Gilly 2 for -9
Over 8 - China 1 for 6
Over 9 - SAO 4 for -16
Over 10 - Billy 1 for 9
Over 11 - Harmie 1 for 7
Over 12 - China 4 for -13
Over 13 - Prez 4 for -23
Over 14 - Itchy 0 for 20
Over 15 - Gilly 4 for -13
Over 16 - Nads 2 for 1

FFCC defeat Cuz We Can't - 140 - 46

STAT OF NOTE
Last week we had an 111 run partnership.
This week, IN AN FFCC STATS FIRST - A single FFCC bowler leaked more than 75% of the total number of runs scored by our opponent! (from two regulation 8 ball overs)
FINE CREDIT to anyone who can name that Bowler!

Man of the Match - China
Best on Ground - CAPTAIN GILLY
Car Park - Esky completely drained.

New technology to lure back start player Gladdy

2011-02-23T06:50:00.004+11:00

The less said about last nights game the better but suffice to say we need ya back Gladdy!

Norris models the latest in 'ball repelling' protective technology purchased by the FFCC at great expense to lure back all star Gladdy.

So how bout it? Ricky Nixon promises to manage your career from here on in!

Fathers take on the Dilberts and cock it up

2011-02-17T08:06:00.005+11:00

The manifesto went exactly according to plan - except the coin toss and then pretty much everything after that.

We bowled and restricted them to 111. Harmie was on song. The Fathers were on fire.
Then we batted and all was in hand after Kyles and Nads put up a 50+ run partnership. The Fatherses minds turned to the car park.

Enter the sheer flamboyance of Norris and Itchy who barely (yet entertainingly!) scratched out a skin tying effort of -9!

Gilly gave Choc the death stare after getting run out off the jackpot ball in the third partnership. Choco was turned to stone. They staged a mini recovery but then lost 5 quick wickets for a -1 run partnership.

Harmie and Gristle needed 70 odd to win and it came down to the last ball. A seven was required and Harmie managed to get it past four fielders on the back net for a side back four - they scrambled an overthrow and Harmie was run out only metres out of his ground going for the tie on the second overthrow.

In the car park the Fathers regained the momentum and ran away clear winners. Harmie was Man of the Car Park with Stella's and Crownies and there was much rejoicing. A 12am effort.

Noice work Fathers!

Special mention to Hugos who earned himself a Fine Credit for taking out the cheerleader of the match (award).

Mrs Gristle helps Fathers win two run cliffhanger

2011-01-12T08:41:00.011+11:00

NADSES forward leave off the last ball for VICTORY was described by many
at the WICC (well at least Norris) “as one of the finest forward leaves the
indoor version of the game has ever seen”. Of course this sentiment
brought much rejoicing in the car park.

In the evening shadow of the WICC, under the watchful eye of National
Selectors looking for rising talent to replace the struggling Australian
Test team, Nads (MAN OF THE MATCH) casually left a ball pitched well
outside off and in the true spirit of the game took a lovely exaggerated
step forward (imitated later in the car park by Norris) with bat tucked in
nicely and watched it pass whilst ensuring the back foot was well
entrenched inside the popping crease in the bush land setting in the car
park.
“I think they partly want me for my bowling but mostly for my body
language” said Nads after signing a multi-year, multi-million dollar deal.
“Blow test cricket” said Itchy (OTHER MAN OF THE MATCH) who was heard
saying “IPL, here I come!”.
This after putting seven runs on the board in the first two overs chasing
49 to win. In the penultimate over Nads and Itchy hit consecutive sevens
and then Nads added another seven off the last ball of the over.
Harmie has been picked as spinner for the next test and Watto has been
left out for the up and comer Norro who currently has a batting average
resembling the recent of rainfall in south east Queensland. “Seeing it like
a basketball baby” said Norro after a few pre-match chardies.

There was no Mrs Gristle.

16 runs were required for victory in the final over. It went:
Itchy 1
Nads 1
Itchy 1
Nads 7
Itchy 4
Nads 2 (to take the lead by 1)
Itchy 1 (scrambled a single)
Nads 0 (beautiful, watchful forward leave for victory)
The penultimate ball faced by Itchy was as full of excitement and drama as
any a ball has ever been bowled. “I’m here to entertain basically; I like
to make sure the punters get their money’s worth mate. Get out of my way
I’m headed for the car park. ” said the Itchmeister. The instant replay
showed not only was the bat grounded before the stumps were broken, Itchy
was already in the car park, beer in hand.
With the Fathers ahead by one with two balls to come, Itchy opted for a
bump and run to mid wicket and only sheer guts and unequalled high
performance gusto reached his ground well before the direct hit. Itchy
smashed 23 and Nads top scored with 27.
The two run victory had Captain Harmie (Man of the Match) pissed and
amazed. “I never thought they would come close to my partnership total of
38 with Norris (Other Man of the Match). Harmie went on “Nads and Itchy
benefitted tremendously by the platform laid down by me and Norro.” Never
was a truer word spoken by such a noble Captain.
Gilly 20 (MAN OF THE MATCH) and The Mayor 11 did just enough as it turned
out in the premiership partnership. They were well on track for the skin
of 45 but a few late wickets and 31 was posted.
Choco (OTHER MAN OF THE MATCH) niggled 14 runs (including two 7’s in the
first over!) in a SKIN WINNING 15 run partnership with SAO who didn’t bat
too badly AT ALL!

Bowling
Captain Harmie 2 for 20
Norris 1 for 20
Gilly 3 for 2
Choco 2 for 16
Itchy 0 for 29
The Mayor 1 for 24
SAO 2 for 12
Nads 3 for 11

The National Selectors at the WICC this evening made key decisions for
Australia’s next ODI squad:
1. The Mayor (opener)
2. Itchy (opener)
3. Choco (first drop)
4. Nads (second drop)
5. Harmie (Captain)
6. Norris (All rounder)
7. Gilly (Wicket keeper)
8. Madman (pace and bounce)
9. SAO (baffling variation)
10. The Prez (king of swing)
11. The Snorkmeister (champion)
Drinks – Gladdy
Minky Whales – Kermie
The Selectors (i.e. Norris) can be influenced (inappropriately) if you are
a TRIED and TESTED FFCC IMMORTAL and reckon you have a claim on a position
in the eleven. (e.g Bily the Kid, Freaky, Rhoid, Newman, Others)

NEXT WEEK DOUBLE HEADER 6:50 and 8:10. First in best dressed.

FFCC Christmas Twilight Bowls Extravaganza!

2010-12-31T15:08:00.013+11:00

A good showing for the inaugural FFCC Christmas twilight bowls tournament.

The event held on Tuesday the 21st of December drew a huge crowd with eventual winners Itchy, Gladdy, Kylie and Sao soaking up the atmosphere.

The 'after party' was held at Itchy's place late into the night and involved some serious serenading ably led by Prez, Norris, Gladdy and Snork.

A good time was had by all, some pics are below (click on photos to view larger versions). Happy new year to all the FFCC crew!

FATHERS RIP IT UP! 165 - 97

2010-11-24T07:19:00.004+11:00

Captain Nads won the toss twice (tossed twice?) and opted for scoreboard
pressure sending in Saint Choco and N-N-N-Norris to lay the foundation.
Choco (20) and Norris (25 not out) declared early intent.
Nads (31 not out) and Gilly (33) set the standard with a top scoring
partnership and the Fathers may well have opted for an early car park sesh
by declaring and sending the Warnies in with 109 on the board.
Billy (15) and SAO (not too bad - he got mandkatted without facing a ball
and lost concentration - filthy!) put on another 11 runs then Madman (top
score 35 not out) and Itchy (10) took the total to 165.

From there it was all bad news for the Warnies. They got off to a bit of
a start and picked up a skin but the FFCC cool headed crew capitalised
with a steady line, good length and just the right mix of wicket taking
shite.

Billy and Nads were standouts in the field.

The run chase went like this:
Madman 0 for 23
Norris 1 for 11
Billy 0 for 18
Nads 1 for 4

Itchy 1(jackpot!) for 3
SAO 0 for 17
Gilly 1 for 9
Choco 1 for 6

Billy 2 for -1
Norris 3 for 0
Choco 1 for 2
SAO 5 for -19

Madman 0 for 13
Itchy 1 for 5
Gilly 1 for 4
Nads 2 for -5

There was much rejoicing in the carpark where Beerboy Billy was pinged
with several fines for questionably less than 24 beers plus several
radlers (chick beers). Norris invoked Rule 16 and Gilly dubbed Billy the
Kid "Billy Jean the Kid" or "BJ the kid" or "BJ" for short. (Several
other "aliases" for various Fathers were noted also. (I'll let Itchy break
the news to The Snorkmeister!)) Billy was unimpressed but confessed his
kid-like status is in doubt having just notched up his 30th birthday.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BILLY!

Next Week 6:50 and Norris is IN!
And Gladdy???????

The beatification of a Saint

2010-11-18T07:12:00.006+11:00

So that it is on record for eternity, the 5 Fathers that turned up last week, 9 November 2010, witnessed 2 miracles in a single evening by a single (once was) mortal.
Miracle 1:

See diagram below (click on image to view larger version):Miracle 2:
With Nads bowling and Choco on the back net, the ball is smacked back at Nads well above head height. Nads reaches up and with arm outstretched only manages to deflect the still hurtling ball even higher. The fathers let out a collective groan as another 7 is imminent. Upon turning around Nads realises that Choco has risen to another level - the FFCC are still perplexed as to how. He has parried the ball vertically upward. After gently brushing the top net the ball then falls gently down into Choco's featherlike fingers.
There can be only one explanation, we have witnessed a second miracle.

LONG LIVE SAINT CHOCO

Spot The Difference

2010-10-21T19:00:00.004+11:00

Fathers win two run thriller!

2010-04-15T10:49:00.016+10:00

Gilly (MVP) top scored with 28 (not out) and took a hat trick making it a hat trick of hat tricks in rounds two, three and four. Sheer brilliance. Legend.

Itchy factored into the run scoring with an equal top 28 (not out). Luck never entered into it and Itchy chopped wood like it’s never been chopped.

CAPTAIN NORRIS chipped in a positive contribution with 22 runs and 1 for 21. But Norris was not pleased. Especially after Gladdy and Madman conspired to let a dribbler through for five runs when the batsmen were all at sea off Norrisses bowling.

There were CAPTAIN’S FINES aplenty. MVP Gilly copped one for abandoning his post, preferring a position in the field and running a bit of a master class.

Madman earned a CAPTAINS FINE CREDIT for a few deliberate head high beamers in the first over, thus setting the tone for the match and earning his teary eyed Captain’s respect and admiration.

Billy the Kid took a tidy 3 for 10 taking a brilliant caught and bowled and earned a FINE for the NON-Hat Trick.

Itchy bowled an absolute PEARLER, a Yorker that was an away swinger to the right handed batsmen. Itchy had cajoled him into thinking it was going down leg side and didn’t really offer a shot. It swung in, barely clipped the back of the batsman’s leg and cannoned into leg stump. BOWLED AROUND HIS LEGS! With undeniable brilliance, the match was turned.

SAO copped a rather vocal Captain’s FINE when he reckoned aloud that with the run chase at 139, Norrisses Captaincy was at an end. Norris was not pleased. SAO responded by putting 6 runs on the board under extreme pressure batting with Itchy in a second skin winning partnership worth 34.

Choco had already done the damage with a 22 run stand in the opening partnership with Gilly and chased down the skin by a run.

Norris took strike in the premiership partnership and played a looping false stroke into the air in the midwicket region but the gap had been found and 4 runs were on the board. Norris ducked two pacey bouncers, only one of which was called a wide. Gladdy and Norris saw off the wayward pace men and were run out just the once taking the 139 run chase to 126. Gladdy valiantly charged down the pitch on the final delivery looking for a seven to take the skin but the edge was found and two was added to the total of 42.

Madman strode onto the court with Billy like it didn’t matter what the run chase was. It would be got. Madman took strike, a nervous single was taken, and it was MATCH ON! There was a run out in the first over but Madman calmly dictated with a clean 7 off the next ball. The total was 137 with three overs to come. There were two nervous run outs in the second over and the boys were on 134. Only five needed for victory from the next two overs. No worries. Billy cracks a 2. Madman cracks a 2. Scores level. Billy on strike and tickled a nervous single. The Fathers are in front. Madman gets run out. Minus 5. Billy hits a 2, Madman hits a 2. Scores level again. Billy hits 2 and then Madman finishes the over by smashing it straight back at the bowler off the ground, off his foot and into the back net for 5. Fathers lead by 7 with an over to come. Time to head to the car park for a beer. No problem.

Madman gets a 1 and then Billy gets caught edging into the air, caught off the back net. Uh oh. Three consecutive 1’s ensue and then Billy gets caught again. The lead is 1 with two balls to come. Madman on strike and the boys scamper a nervous single. Billy on strike for the final delivery, Fathers lead by two. Last ball of the match. It’s pitched short and going down leg side.
You just let it go, say no thanks to the ump for the re-bowl, and the match is won.

Nope.

Billy decided it’s worth smashing. He top edged it into the back and side nets down leg. It hovered for an eternity and Billy watched it as intently as anyone in the WICC. The wicket keeper and a fielder ran beneath it. T’was a sitter.

They dropped it.

Billy decided to take off for the single.

Madman sent him back.

THE MATCH WAS WON!

A picture tells a thousand words. Click her e for a larger version of the run chase chart.

All’s well that ends well…

SAO certainly set everything right in the car park with catering provisions deserving of a majestic win. There was an equal distribution of lights and Stella’s and Choco was careful on the lights. SAO barely escaped with esky in tact.

Next WEEK 9:30pm
Players
1. Our Kylie
2. Norris (Captain)
3. Itchy
4. Zippy (Beers) - make sure you're there in the car park by 9pm Zippy (and everyone)
5. Choco
6. Gladdy
7. SAO
8. Gilly

Our Kylie (Champion) is back for a match!

Support Crew: The Mayor, Snorkey, Gristle, Freaky, Kev Prez, Harmie, Hugo, Singer, Newman,
Madman and Billy are OUT. Gilly is in DOUBT.

Nad's Farewell - Massive Victory & Send Off

2010-04-03T16:05:00.009+11:00

History was made when seven Fathers sent off Nads with a MASSIVE 221 RUNS ON THE BOARD. It never looked a likely chase either with The Sons of ANZACS struggling on a pittance of runs early on and getting only 125 in the end.

Captain NORRIS lead with the bat smashing two fives and two sevens on his way to 42 not out; partner NADS down the other end TOP SCORED for the Fathers with 43 including a no ball that went for seven of the penultimate ball of the 85 RUN PARTNERSHIP! The FFCC WISDEN SOCIETY (GLADDY) HAS MARKED THIS FFCC RECORD PARTNERSHIP FOR ALL ETERNITY.

ITCHY was instrumental if only for declaring lack of fitness just before the match earning an obligatory FINE as seven Fathers took the field. A FINE CREDIT was also awarded due to the reason for unfitness: massive intake of NECTAR! Choco (just a quiet premium light to nurse him back to fitness) was in good form on the sidelines also and the partnership was worthy of 30-40 runs without question.

There were runs aplenty with an entertaining 60 run “not out” partnership by the brothers in arms Madman and Billy the Kid who shared the runs with 30 apiece.

SAO didn’t die wondering on his way to 33 not out and partner Gilly backed up from top scoring (29 not out) last week with another 21 not out.

Billy the Kid faced the first ball and set the standard for the FFCC with 23 not out in the opening partnership. ZIPPY had a fantastic innings as well in the 22 run, skin winning partnership.

ONLY SEVEN FFCC WICKETS FELL (ANOTHER POTENTIAL WISDEN RECORD – GLADDY to confirm). (Two NADS and five ZIPPYIES!)

With the ball in hand the Fathers took 15 wickets and GILLY TOOK A HAT TRICK!

The best bowler was GILLY with 4 for -3.
Billy 3 for 8 (plus another wicket in the last over – just the one seven)
Nads 3 for 15 (just the one 7)
Madman 2 for 24 (just the one full toss beamer – next ball bowled)
SAO took 2 for 29 (just the two 7’s).
Zippy 0 for 21 (and defended the first skin with some v. tidy bowling)
Norris 0 for 28 (absolute rubbish)

FATHERS FOUR SKIN WIN 221 - 125

The carpark victory celebrations were held in Norro’s backyard with cameo appearances from HUGO and THE SNORKMEISTER. GILLY demonstrated exemplary BBQ skills and there were plenty of good snags going round with beers and the FFCC GAVE IT A NUDGE FOR NADS! Like the ancient Chinese proverb says “It’s necessary to nudge the Nads every now and then”.

There was much laughing and much rejoicing. There was even talk of an upcoming ENCAMPMENT!

FINES:
Itchy – for getting a FINE CREDIT for declaring unfitness due to recreational activities
Gilly – for earning a FINE CREDIT for taking a hat trick
Nads – for failing to take the hat trick
SAO – white feather FINE
Billy – white feather FINE
Madman – for attempted MURDER
Hugo and Itchy – for being photographed sleeping with each other in Norro’s backyard
Norris – for photographing Hugo and Itchy sleeping with each other (what goes on tour stays on tour)
Snorkey – for earning a FINE CREDIT for suggesting ENCAMPMENT is due
Choco – for no reason whatsoever really – that’s a DOUBLE FINE for avoiding a FINE!

‘Intuitive Ballbags’ show extreme cowardice in their tie with the Fabulous Fathers

2010-03-10T11:06:00.011+11:00

FFCC 123 tie with the Ballbags 123 – Tuesday 9 March 2010

With two balls remaining in last night’s match and the ‘Fabulous Fathers’ leading the ‘Intuitive Ballbags’ by three runs chief scumbag ‘Pressed Ham’ baulked and performed a ‘Mankad’ on the noble Nads.

Obviously scared that his wasted years of first grade cricket (ANU) and ACT Comets representative experience would not be enough to unseat either Nads or Gilly ‘Pressed Ham’ performed the unthinkable in the pursuit of a cheap wicket. Nads blew up and the Fathers bench was cleared with Prez leading the abusive charge with cries of “you bloody wanker”, “are you kidding dickhead?” and “I must try that myself some time” echoing around the arena.

Nads was incensed and marched down the pitch gesticulating wildly and frothing at the mouth to the plainly rattled and pathetic ‘Pressed Ham’. “It’s in the rules mate” was the best the Neanderthal ‘Pressed Ham’ could muster. For his part his partner in crime and fellow ‘ex-semi professional never quite made it to the big leagues but likes to lord it over lesser players in suburban backwaters’ ‘Mick’ endured a barrage of abuse from his vantage point on the back net. I’m not sure but I think I saw tears in his eyes as a few home truths regarding his lineage were delivered to him via a wild eyed and screaming Choco.

Once the pitch invasion had been cleared and ‘Pressed Ham’ had cleaned his spittle flecked eyes there was one ball left to be bowled. Gilly faced up with a determined look on his face and dispatched the last ball to the nets and scampered through for a couple. The game ended in a tie but will long live in FFCC folklore as the most pathetic and cowardly act ever witnessed on an indoor cricket arena.

To commemorate this disgraceful act it is hereby proposed that the next time the mighty FFCC face the cowardly ‘Ballbags’ that a white feather be presented to ‘Pressed Ham’ and he be forced to face nothing but wide deliveries for his entire four overs.

Headline after headline for the FFCC

2009-12-11T05:42:00.014+11:00

CAPTAIN McCHEESE NAILS HOLE IN ONE
The Fatherses loss on Tuesday was unarguably attributed to CAPTAIN The Mayor using up all his luck earlier in the day with a hole in one on the Capital 18th (unwitnessed, unrecorded and unconfirmed) but nonetheless eloquently and magnificently recounted by the Captain in the carpark. McCheese didn’t care because he TOP SCORED with the bat with 27 (not out)
and returned a +2 contribution in a side that was net negative -126.

SNORKMEISTER DECLARES SHOULDER SURGERY SUCCESS
“Shoulder surgery, what shoulder surgery? Those guys couldn’t get anywhere near it let alone actually hit it! Eat your heart out Warney”. Snorkeyreturned BEST BOWLING figures of 4 for 13 despite Norris dropping his first ball for 7! “If I can get the bat to fire next week I’ll be looking for a decent A-Grade Contract” said the Snork brimming with confidence in the car park, crowny in hand.

COME BACK KING KERMIE BEST ON GROUND
In his first match back after a spell the skills were on display with an unfazed and nonchalant Kermie calmly collecting 22 runs and allowing a miserly 1 for 16. POSITVE CONTRIBUTION +8. “Ya I reckon the indoor form of the game is as pure as it gets. And with a match under the belt I
automatically qualify for encampment which is what it’s all about baby.”

Fruity Jam 195; Founding Fathers 69.

NADS 3 for 26 including a magnificent Jack Pot stumping (Gilly) and 20 runs off the bat.

NORRIS leaked like a sieve down the back but was 18 (not out) and 2 for 25.

GILLY 12 (not out) and 1 for 40! (How did all of Gilly’s run outs get attributed to Hugo?)

HUGO 3 for 16 with the ball and -12 with the bat. “If Gilly hadn’t run me out 14 times I would have posted a half century man.”

SNORKEY -18 runs! (Also run out several times by Gilly even though Gilly wasn’t even his batting partner.)

Consistent SAO was none for 17 from his first over and none for 17 from his second (and NONE runs from the bat!) (No thanks to Norris) “Again” said SAO in the car park continuing to justify his conspiracy theory (quite rightly).

Official Duties – GILLY’s exemplary car park catering (schmorgasboard!) under the well lit covered entrance to the Presbyterian Church. There were Burger Rings and McCheese was pleased.

LAST MATCH OF THE YEAR - COMPULSORY ATTENDANCE FOR ALL FFCC CHAMPIONS

This is traditionally a MASSIVE night – NADS hit a 7 off the last ball of the match TO WIN THE MATCH BY 1 RUN in the inaugural Christmas Eve match AND THERE WAS MUCH REJOICING.

A couple of spots open up for next week with Kermie declaring unavailability and SAO offering his spot if there is a taker out there.

Could Kylie make a COMEBACK to join Gladdy, Snorkey and Kermie continuing recent trends?

Has Itchy returned from the international lumber jack championships and ready for a match?

IN THE XMAS FFCC 8:
1. NORRIS - CAPTAIN
2. NADS
3. GILLY
4. HUGO
5. OUR KYLIE
6. THE MAYOR
7. ITCHY
8. GLADDY – CATERING

Participating from the sidelines (compulsory attendance remember) – Snorkey, Harmie, Freaky, SAO, Billy, Gristle, Singer, Mr Prez

BRING BACK MADMAN!

Obama to sign for the Founding Fathers in 2010?

2009-11-23T05:58:00.004+11:00

After his inauguration speech when he said this:

"Our Founding Fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter* to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expediency's sake.”

Now Obama is seen getting batting tips from none other than the great Brian Lara.

How long before we see the US President turn out for the Founding Father's Cricket Club?

*The 'charter' he is talking about we call 'the rules'.

Fathers steamroll the top of the table

2009-11-20T06:56:00.009+11:00

BACK TO BACK 4 SKIN WINS UNDER CAPTAIN SAO

The Founding Fathers steam rolled the top of the table Polar Bears on Tuesday night with match winning individual performances all around. Captain SAO was the man with the manifesto: "If it ain't broke don't fix it" said SAO after retaining the partnership sequence from the previous week's victory. But in reference to the Polar Bears: "Those blokes are badly broken... heh, heh."

"Our champagne run into the finals has started early this season" said Best and Unneededest Gilly who took five wickets and demoralised the third partnership who were on -33 after facing only 8 deliveries.

Late withdrawals from Billy the Kid, Gristle and Singer meant the side was unchanged with Nads, Itchy and Norris filling the breach. "I turned up just to drink beer." said Norris who top scored with 36 not out. "His innings was brilliant" said Nads "The way he deflected the quick
straight ones off his shins into the cover region was simply breathtaking."

Nads and Norrisses defence down the back was nothing short of spectacular. Itchy, the FFCC High Performance Coach was pleased, "We knew we'd done our job with the bat and put the Polar Bears under immense pressure. I gave Norris and Nads a bit of a spray before the second innings and they got the message - you'd pretty much have to credit me with their immaculate performance this evening."

With all Fathers contributing match positive figures (except Captain SAO whose bowling changes were inspiring) it was difficult to determine who was the most Unneededest. "It had to go to Gilly" said Gladdy who has reinvented himself with a clever leg stump line mixed with menacing bumpers: "They were already on the ropes and then Gilly taking those 5 wickets with nine deliveries was totally unnecessary".

But the bowling performance of the innings had to go to The Panther who introduced nothing but spiteful disdain in his second spell. "Cheesy cut that bloke in half so many times he looked like a pepperoni pizza" was all Norris had to say and The Mayor was snubbing the BBQ crinkles
preferring instead a quiet deep pan meat lovers on the way home after a couple of quick beers in the car park.

The Prez rounded out the night with a stunning car park catering performance including an esky designed and constructed by NASA. There was much rejoicing and the esky was completely drained.

An unchanged side has been named next week due to back to back brilliant performances and consecutive four skin victories. The Mayor is a possible late withdrawal but it appears the tight knit FFCC crew would rather play with 7 than carry an inexperienced up and comer.

Next Week - 6:50pm
1 Nads
2 Mr Prez
3 Norris (catering services)
4 Cheesy/The Mayor/The Panther
5 SAO - Retains the Captaincy
6 Itchy
7 Gilly
8 Gladdy

Up and comers: Gristle, Hugo, Billy the Kid, Choco. (let us know if you
are available next week)

Singer - OUT until further notice - message received from Singer indicated he was unable to play last Tuesday due to double booking with the Martha Stewart Sewing Tips Show on the Oprah Network.

The batting STATS
Mr Prez 30 not out
Nads 31

Norris 36 not out
The Mayor 16

Itchy 24
SAO -2

Gilly 11
Gladdy 12

The bowling STATS
Norris 2 for 28
The Mayor 3 for 3
SAO 3 for 13
Nads 2 for 18
The Prez 1 for 24
Gladdy 3 for 3
Itchy 2 for 7
Gilly 5 for -10

NADS Best and Unneededest in BIG WIN for FFCC

2009-11-15T08:48:00.003+11:00

The Fathers regained finals form with a comprehensive four skin win and extended car park session at the WICC.

Recent debutants Captain Sir Lord SAO and Mr Prez looked sharp in their new baggy tie dyes and SAO chose runs on the board after winning the toss. And there were runs aplenty. With Gladdy returning to the FFCC limelight the Fathers were buoyed with confidence and competitive spirit.

First in to bat were Nads (48 not out) and Mr Prez (32 not out) put up a modest partnership total of 80 just to set a wee bit of a foundation.

Norris (9) and Mayor McCheese (7) went down swinging losing two early wickets and two late wickets and were on a partnership hat trick (FINE) at the end of their innings. Norris opted to bat boxless after being offered Mr Prez’s lovely little laced black negligee box complete with 14 year oldunwashed crusty pool of pond scum.

Itchy (26 not out) chopped wood like a lumberjack and The Lord (21) took the game beyond reach with the total at 143 with the old guard still to bat.

Gilly (29 not out) and Gladdy (17) were practically chanceless and pressed hard barely falling short of the innings double ton.

Highlights of the Fathers in the Field:
The Cheesemeister (0 for 21) preying on the gurus like a leopard in full
flight;
Gladdy (1 for 31) taking one for the team (check out the bruise – photo
posted on the website);
Norris (3 for 28) catching one with his arm pit;
Itchy (2 for 8) cowering in the covers;
Captain SAO (2 for 22) brilliant bowling changes and clever field placements;
Mr Prez (3 for 5) saving the second skin with 3 for -5;
Gilly (3 for 26) best wicket keeper the Fathers had all night; and
Nads (6 for -14) with catches and run outs – the man is a STAR!

Gilly’s catering skills were the best of the night but The Mayor found no BBQ crinkles. It was unanimously agreed in the car park that since the Fathers won by 65 runs, Nadses positive contribution of 62 was not required thus earning three points in the race for FFCC Best and
Unneededest this season. (And pick up about 8 FINES! in the process.)

Next Week 6:50pm
1. Gristle
2. Lord SAO – Captain
3. Mr Prez – catering and daringly testing FFCC constitutional ice
requirements;
4. Billy
5. Gilly
6. Gladdy
7. The Mayor
8. Singer

Pine riders – Norris, Itchy, Hugo, Nads, Sniper, Choco, Harmie
When is the G-Nat ready for a comeback?
We could practically field two teams with Our Kylie, Freaky, and Madman
(due back soon)

Three cheers for Gladdy, hip hip hematoma......

2009-11-12T17:48:00.002+11:00

Gladdy celebrates his return to the FFCC with a ripper of a hematoma. Click on the above to see the photo in all its glory.

Working Bee at the Norris Estate

2009-11-02T11:09:00.012+11:00

Tie dyeing t-shirts and building a deck. Can you think of a more harmonious combination?Workers on the day included: Norris, The Mayor, Nads, Gladdy, Hugo, Itchy, Russ and Terry.

The results of the labour.

Itchy impersonating 'Bob the Builder'

The Mayor and Norris supervise

Itchy's tie-dyeing masterpieces

Left to right: The mayor; Nads; Itchy; Jasper; Norris & Gladdy

FFCC Hold Press Conference To Announce They Are Still Sort Of An Indoor Cricket Team

2009-10-22T10:39:00.003+11:00

WESTON, AUSTRALIA—Founding Fathers high performance coach Itchy held a press conference this morning to reassure fans that, despite an inability to effectively execute their fielding, bowling, or batting, the Founding Fathers were still somewhat comparable to a real indoor cricket team.

"It's been a tough pre-season so far, and even though we are 2-4, we still have players, uniforms, bats—all the components that technically constitute an indoor cricket team, sort of," Itchy said while grimacing and making a "so-so" gesture with his hand. "Sure, I was stripped of play-calling responsibilities by team management, and I really don't have any clue who will open the bowling for us next Tuesday, but I swear to you, in a weird, very convoluted way, we are in the WICC competition."

Placing his hand over the microphone, Itchy then spoke briefly with an unidentified man near the stage, and announced that, for what it's worth, the organization owns the Internet domain name ffcricket.com through 2010.

Sniper gelded in 100 run deficit

2009-10-03T08:46:00.006+10:00

Debutant SNIPER raised the bar taking no wicket for 31 runs in a match
which has already been long forgotten in the annals of indoor cricket
history.  “This is grading season – you’re not supposed to win” said
Sniper after his 11 wides, legs sides, and no ball deliveries.  With a
sitter of a run out chance at the bowlers end, Sniper calmly went about
his business tossing the ball to the keeper ensuring the runners safely
made their ground and his no wicket record remained intact.

“This bloke Sniper knows the gig” said Norris who took one wicket (by
accident) for 31.

“Sorry I got a bit excited and nailed all those stumpings” said Gilly who
pitched in with 1 for 32.

SAO sat on the fence with a mere -16 run contribution.  “My 5 runs off the
bat were out of line – they just couldn’t hit the stumps.”  SAO’s bowling
was effective taking 3 for 21 with a couple of missed chances.

But Captain Billy the Kid, Harmie and Nads conspired to earn the FFCC a
bit of respect.  Billy the Kid took out Man of the Match honours with a
+20 run contribution, Harmie top scored with 27 runs and Nads took four
wickets including a hat trick in his first over.

The Fathers rallied in the Car Park with Heinies and Cascade Lights
compliments of SAO.  Beautiful.  Nads broke out the Grand Final Loot and
Gilly graciously accepted the MAN OF THE FINALS SERIES magnificent clean
skin WICC bat.   Nads handed out WICC glasses , an excellent sports bag
(which he kept for himself) and some beautiful Adidas socks which prompted
much snickering about FFCC folklore and Quiet Achiever awards of years
gone by.