The Fowl Balls

Breaking: The Blue Jays have lost their fucking minds

noreply@blogger.com (Jimmy Dugan) — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 20:07:00 +0000

According to the NY Post, the Toronto Blue Jays asked the Yankees for Jesus Montero, then Joba Chamberlain for Scott Downs. You read that right. Apparently the exchange rate is completely fucked, because in Canada a 34 year old middle reliever is equivalent to a blue chip US prospect. Fuck you Toronto. The only thing that Canada is good for is their beer anyway. That's not bacon, jerks. It's HAM.

"Pay Joba no botha"

noreply@blogger.com (Jamie from BomberBanter.com) — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 23:09:00 +0000

I've been writing about Joba Chamberlain over at BomberBanter.com, and I see I'm not the only one. If you wander around the Yankees Blog Universe, you'll see posts about him everywhere. I understand that Joel Sherman is reporting that Joba isn't the setup man anymore... did anybody hear Joe Girardi say this? I don't have a problem with the move, I just don't think it's official. I think Girardi just doesn't want to bring Joba into the game in the middle of an inning. David Robertson has been Girardi's fireman - always getting the call in the middle of an inning in a high pressure situation in tight games; I think right now, Joba starts innings, and isn't brought in to finish them. However, if he's been demoted, Joba deserves it. His 2010 numbers are atrocious. he gives up too many hits and walks, not to mention the runs. I think Joba can be a great pitcher, but I've always believed he's a starter - this doesn't have anything to do with why he's performing poorly this year (I think it's mechanical), but I don't think he's a career reliever, and the sooner they get him out of that role, the better.

As for tonight's game, the Yankees are facing a pitcher who's been called up from triple A for his first start - ever, I believe - so that means the Yankees have no chance of scoring any runs off him. Now if they get to face him again this year, they'll destroy him, but I think this is the last series with the Indians of the year. Anyway, it almost always seems to go this way in this situation. New pitcher, no hits - seen the pitcher before, and they hit him like he deserves to be hit. Go figure.

Happy Birthday, Gorgeous

noreply@blogger.com (Jimmy Dugan) — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 21:45:00 +0000

Happy 35th to Alex Rodriguez and his purple lips. Now go hit #600 already.

A Message From Your Fearless Leader

noreply@blogger.com (Jimmy Dugan) — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 19:30:00 +0000

Dearest Friends of The Balls,

As the trade deadline nears, you will hear the Yankees involved in basically every name available, and some that aren't. Pay no mind. We have come to find that Brian Cashman is water tight like a duck's ass, and the big moves that he DOES make are almost never leaked. Remember the Sammy Sosa shitstorm? All you heard about for WEEKS was Sammy Sammy Sammy and then BOOM! Cash hits you with David Justice. I love MLBTradeRumors.com as much as the next guy, but in the world of the Yankees, it means dick. That being said, leave all of your futile speculation in the comments.

--
Jimmy Dugan
President, CEO, and Dictator
The Fowl Balls
http://www.thefowlballs.com

Oh, Come Let Us Adore Him

noreply@blogger.com (Jimmy Dugan) — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 13:42:00 +0000

Jesus Montero's July slash line:

420/.532/.740

If I was threatened with playing for the Mariners, I'd start hitting, too.

1930-2010

noreply@blogger.com (Jimmy Dugan) — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 14:08:00 +0000

Thank you, George Steinbrenner, for spoiling Yankee fans since 1973.

Thank You, Bob.

noreply@blogger.com (Jimmy Dugan) — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 13:23:00 +0000

The voice of our childhood dreams moved on this weekend. Even knowing that he was 99 years old, I know that every fan was still holding out hope that we would hear that booming voice in the New Stadium. Alas, there were other plans. Rest in peace, Voice of God.

Got World Cup Fever?

noreply@blogger.com (Jamie from BomberBanter.com) — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 15:47:00 +0000

Well, take two of these... Sigh. Is anybody actually still watching this?

Stay classy, Paraguay Fans... although, I guess you have to put your phone somewhere that leaves your hands free for cheering. And what's with her boy? Why is he sporting the Lincoln beard? Stay out of the theater, champ. (NOTE: 'her boy' seems to be getting cropped out of the frame, so click the image to see him in all his Para-Lincoln-esque glory)

I like the Yankees remaining schedule for the first half: 3 against Seattle and 3 against Toronto at home, then they drag their asses back to the west coast for 3 against Oakland and 4 against Seattle - I'd guess that means they're probably going to see Cliff Lee and King Felix, but still - Seattle is 31-44, so I don't worry too much about that. I think Toronto will be pesky all year, but they're essentialy a .500 team.

The hits just keep on coming

noreply@blogger.com (Jimmy Dugan) — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 16:36:00 +0000

I know that I don't usually post videos, but between this and the Wally Backman meltdown, it's been pure gold this week. The best part about this video is A-Rod looks so young, and Jeter and his flat top look like this could have been taped yesterday.

Yankees complete sweep of Phillies in game 1

noreply@blogger.com (Jimmy Dugan) — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 02:59:00 +0000

In the game that they were supposed to lose, the Yankees gave Roy Halladay a good rogering Tuesday night. The man who has been borderline untouchable in the NL Least was welcomed back to the AL by three home runs wth Curtis Granderson, Nick Swisher, and Mark Teixeira* taking him over the wall.The Phillies may as well forfeit the next two games, because Halladay was the only shot that they had, let's be honest.

*That was not a typo - Mark Teixeira hit a home run off of a quality pitcher.

I know, I know

noreply@blogger.com (Jimmy Dugan) — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 03:56:00 +0000

I am late on this one, but since it is the greatest thing in the history of the world, I am posting it anyway.

For once, my optimism is tempered

noreply@blogger.com (Jimmy Dugan) — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 02:17:00 +0000

Not only have the Yankees pulled into a tie for first place with the Ex-Rays, but ESPN has them toppling them in the Power Rankings, and Lord knows how important that is. But don't all run to your online betting sites and bet your mortgage on the Yankees just yet.

Before we all start tickling each other's taints, let's be realistic about one thing: the most irreplaceable Yankees (non-Rivera category) has not played since Thursday. When Alex Rodriguez left Thursday's game, I almost threw up. Say what you will about his perceived lack of power this year, but there is not a single everyday player on the Yankees that is more valuable than Alex Rodriguez.

After clawing back to pull even with Tampa, the Yankees are in need of the going-into-the-All-Star-break push that allows them to ride their typically-strong second half to October (hyphen much?). With Ramiro "Powerhouse" Pena at the bottom of the lineup, that just doesn't seem realistic.

Not all doom and gloom, though. Alex Rodriguez could return to the lineup, and the Yankees could take a struggling Phillies team behind the woodshed in a three game set. But keep an eye on A-Rod, because the Yankees' fate in 2010 may be more attached to his groin than Cameron Diaz ( I am so topical! Fuck Perez Hilton!).

National Holiday (seewhatIdidthere?)

noreply@blogger.com (Jimmy Dugan) — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 15:56:00 +0000

If you have been reading TFB for any amount of time, you realize one thing: I really could not give a shit about the other teams in the Major Leagues. Sure, I'll make fun of the Mets, and my hate for the Red Sox is evident, but you aren't going to see a ton of material pertaining to anyone outside of the Bronx. I will say this, though - I am excited to watch Stephen Strasburg debut tonight. For once, the Nationals look to be doing something right. They seem to have avoided making him a Super Two, and they are trotting him out in front of a home crowd against a AAA team to kick it all off. I usually rip people for hyping things too quickly, but I am way gay for the whole Strasburg thing. On top of the whole thing, I get to see Jim Kaat announce on MLBN tonight. It looks like I may have to go buy a Nationals hat while they are still on sale.

Final Line for Strasburg:

6 IP, 7K, 2 ER, 2 BB

Jimmy D: Always helping out the little guys

noreply@blogger.com (Jimmy Dugan) — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 14:45:00 +0000

I got an email this morning from the SWB Yankees, because they know who has their finger on the pulse of the Yankees farm system. Do them a favor and click the link to vote for Yankees prospects (and a couple of AAAA players, considering these All Star Games are what they will be telling their grandkids about).

Online voting has begun for the 2010 Triple-A All-Star Game to be played July 14 at Lehigh Valley, PA. Fans can vote for their favorite Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Yankees at www.swbyankees.com or http://web.minorleaguebaseball.com/milb/events/asg/y2010/ballot/ballot_pop.html

Fan voting accounts for one-third of the total vote along with ballots cast by members of the media and each club’s field manager, coaches, and general manager.

Fans can vote up to 25 times until voting ends on June 25. So vote early and often for deserving candidate including Jonathan Albaladejo (17 saves), Eduardo Nunez, Zach McAllister, Royce Ring and David Winfree.

Yankees Seats Between the Bases

noreply@blogger.com (Jamie from BomberBanter.com) — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 14:18:00 +0000

Did you get this email today from the Yankees? Follow the link and you end up here. Tell me this is not hilarious:

2010 Seats Between Bases start at $235 per seat per game.

That's classic stuff, right there! And that is a significant reduction from last year, is it not? Wish I could get a list of stuff you could get for $235 bucks. I was perfectly happy to watch the Yankees blow their lead on Saturday from my once a year $100 seats, thank you very much! My girlfriend and I were talking about going to another game, but sitting in cheaper seats rather than upping the price.

On my most recent visit to Yankee Stadium:

We bought 2 blue moons at the game - the cost was over $20. For two beers. I felt bad that I didn't have any tip money... but when you pay over $20 for two beers, do you really need to tip? I'd love to hear some thoughts on this topic. It didn't appear that people were tipping.

On the other hand, we ate at the Noodle Bowl over by the food court, and the price was totally reasonable; maybe $7 something each for our noodles with fried tofu, and the portion was ample to say the least, and it was tasty.

Oh, and the $100 seats had padding - we took a quick look around the stadium and noted that all the box seats on the first floor seemed to have padding, but the second and third tiers were not so blessed.

Thanks, Miggy

noreply@blogger.com (Jimmy Dugan) — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 13:14:00 +0000

Miguel Tejada reacts after he realizes that he hadn't injected enough "B-12" to get the ball across the diamond on Tuesday night. The error would hand the Yankees a win, as Javy Vazquez threw another good game against yet another shitty team.

SI's Joe Lemire makes my list

noreply@blogger.com (Jamie from BomberBanter.com) — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 18:16:00 +0000

When I corresponded with Jimmy D about posting here at The Fowl Balls, I never intended to have my posts revolve around the national sports media and how bad they suck. So far, it's just working out that way.
Joe Lemire's SI.com article, Who will throw the next perfect game? I must take issue with. As a rule, I recommend baseball fans not waste their time prognosticating who has the potential to throw a perfect game during their career because the idea is totally idiotic. This was Lemire's Memorial Day offering, so I'd love to know what ragging bash he went to the previous weekend that inspired such nonsense, what kind of alcohol was served, and finally, where I can acquire said alcohol that will make me so delusional that I'll come up with a list of potential perfect game candidates.
Here is a list of criteria he came up with, which I can't argue with, but again, that's not the point.

first-pitch strikes, swing-and-miss stuff, multi-pitch repertoire and good team defense

OK, fine. That sounds good. But honestly, did anyone ever think Mark Buehrle was going to throw a perfect game? If someone made this list before Buehrle had done it, I guarantee you he would not be there. Here is the list of all MLB perfect games. Did any member of the press ever have the cohonas to predict someone would throw a perfect game before they did it? Now I realize Lemire isn't offering any predictions, but this is still a bold declaration.
And now, here is what drove me over the edge, the very inspiration for this post:

Stephen Strasburg, Nationals: No, he hasn't thrown in any major-league games yet, much less come close to completing a perfect one, but what limits would you place on him? This is an exercise in potential and few, if any, have the upside of Strasburg, whose minor-league record is sparkling (6-2, 1.43 ERA, 0.80 WHIP, 10.7 K/9) and who'd need only one dazzling start to make it happen.

He went there. I know Strasburg looks like he's going to set the National League on fire, but let's let the kid pitch first, huh? Maybe we could find a way to put more pressure and attention on the kid... let's just paint a bulls-eye on his back and get it over with.
I love that closing line: "need only one dazzling start to make it happen." That's all ANYONE would need to throw a perfect game, damn it! Oh, and just for giggles, Tim Lincecum hasn't completed 6 IP in his last 3 starts - he's #3 on the list. I'm sure Lincecum will recover, as he has good stuff, but the point I'm trying to say is anyone can struggle - and anyone can be great.
Or perfect.

The Disparity between Yankees Blogs and the Media

noreply@blogger.com (Jamie from BomberBanter.com) — Fri, 28 May 2010 13:13:00 +0000

(**Editor's note - this is the first post from the newest TFB contributor, Jamie From BomberBanter.com. Drop some comments, or shoot him an email at jamie.thefowlballs@gmail.com)

Since the Yankees offensive struggles began a few weeks ago, a cruise through the Yankees blog scene has most people calling for Derek Jeter to move out of the lead off spot in the line up as his pension to ground out to short stop feels like its at a career high. Then, you wander over to SI.com's MLB homepage and BOOM! Joe Posnanski is comparing Jeter to Pete Rose. Now it should be noted that Posnanski doesn't think Jeter will get his hit total up in Rose territory (and I tend to agree), but the fact that he wrote the article in the first place is what caught my attention. Ian O'Conner, on the other hand, thinks Jeter can catch Rose.

As the nonsense that is ESPN and our local paper's coverage of the Yankees weighed on me all off season long, SI.com became a daily destination for me, but as this season has rolled on, I find myself visiting less and less. The simple fact is, Yankees Blog coverage is just better than Media coverage. I know that I'm tooting my own horn on some level (try to keep the comments on that PG, folks), but its true. Flip through the Yankees blogs and you'll find
amazing statistical analysis at River Ave Blues, incite on other parks and cities from Yankeeist or just silliness from An A-Blog for A-Rod.

What's going on at ESPN, you ask? More Joe West comments on length of games. Yep, they're still beating that horse. And speaking of desecrating graves, The NY Post has got yet another McNamee/Clemens article - I think I counted 5 entire sentences. Just awesome. Now that's good reporting on a topic nobody cares about anymore.

I could go on, but it'd be an exercise in futility. The Yankees Blogs are doing better because they're not beholden to a business model that dictates they create as many pages/posts as possible in an effort to serve as many banner advertisements as possible. Yankees Blogs don't post a bunch of crap and their not motivated by financial gain; we blog the Yankees because we love 'em. Even when the Bombers play like ass, they're still there for us, just about every day, from late February to (hopefully) early November and beyond. Covering baseball is a writer's dream - they play every day and there are a million stories to write that are interesting and relevant. Yankees Blogs give you an analysis, statistical information and facts, passion for their team and a laugh. The media is just filler.

Help Wanted

noreply@blogger.com (Jimmy Dugan) — Wed, 26 May 2010 17:38:00 +0000

The Fowl Balls is looking for writers. We have some extra cubicles to fill here at TFB world headquarters, and we need some like-minded, borderline-douchebag Yankee fanatics to contribute to the site. If you are interested (and who wouldn't be) drop a line at jimmydugan.thefowlballs@gmail.com . I look forward to seeing what type of degenerates would want to work for us.

Gross.

noreply@blogger.com (Jimmy Dugan) — Mon, 24 May 2010 19:12:00 +0000

There is no other word to describe what I was forced to watch as a Yankee fan this weekend. Just BRUTAL. No pitching, no offense, and I got to watch that d-bag K-Rod celebrate like he just closed Game 7 not once, but TWICE. Act like you been there, guy.

PS - To all of my Mets fan friends: RELAX. Good for you for taking 2 of 3 from a superior team. But let's get one thing straight - your team is flat out not good. Johan is solid, and it looks like Mike Pelfrey has put it together. That leaves 60% of your rotation that is dogshit. Your star third baseman strikes out like there's an incentive in is contract tied to it. Jose Reyes makes horrific decisions on the bases. Jeff Franceour's head is so far up his own rectum at the plate that he's wearing himself as a hat.

PPS - I hate K-Rod with the heat of 1,000 suns. It makes me smile when his newly acquired chubby face dryhumps a fastball to the plate at 89 MPH.

Yankees limp into series against JV team

noreply@blogger.com (Jimmy Dugan) — Fri, 21 May 2010 21:20:00 +0000

(Nice grab, bro)

After getting their dicks kicked in by the Rays, the walking wounded Yankees get to take some BP reps this weekend at Citi Field. In game one, look for Javier Vazquez to stay on track (he will be pitching against an NL team, after all). If the Yankees don't win at least 2 of these 3 games, I think that there should be some serious thought about contraction.

Yankees, AJ get pummeled by first place Rays - but that's not the bad news

noreply@blogger.com (Jimmy Dugan) — Thu, 20 May 2010 13:05:00 +0000

AJ Burnett looked terrible last night against the Yankees' only competition in the AL East, losing 10-6 in the Bronx. It was another lackluster performance by the Yankees as a whole, soring some garbage runs after the game was well out of reach. AJ was terrible, Boone Logan was worse, and Mark Melancon hopped right on the suck train himself.

With all that being said, it was one game of 162 (or 19 if you want to talk about the ridiculous amount of times they are forced to play divisional opponents). The real news in the Yankees Universe is that Jorge Posada has a hairline fracture in his foot, and could be out up to a month. Up until now, the Frankie Cervelli bandwagon was a cute little idea. Now, Yankee fans and followers wake up this morning looking to the kid to be a stabilizing force for a struggling pitching staff in a more long-term capacity. Look, I love Cervelli. He plays his balls off, and handles himself behind the plate. Do I think he is a starting catcher on a championship team? Maybe, if the heavies are hitting. But wiith a lineup that is already depleted (Winn and Thames in the outfield!!11!!!!1), the Yankees could really use Jorgie's bat right now.

Mind you, I am not all doom and gloom. Frankie has handled the bat in limited time this year, and that could continue. Hell, the only reason he got reps last year at all was that Posada and Molina got hurt, and that team did OK. However, Posada is, in my opinion, one of the most underrated offensive players in the league and replacing him in the lineup is no small feat. So, cue the crazy rumors about everyone who has ever hit a home run in the Major Leagues. I beg the beat writers, please do not force me to read about Jermaine Dye and Pat Fucking Burrell.

Well, that was quick

noreply@blogger.com (Jimmy Dugan) — Wed, 19 May 2010 12:54:00 +0000

Marcus Thames' run as Yankee Hero came to an end last night. Just 25 hours after erasing what was a disgusting game with a two-run, game winning home run against the Red Sox, Thames crapped himself in the outfield. It was nice while it lasted, I guess.

PS - Did you see the 2-2 pitch to Jeremy Hermida? I didn't think I would ever see a call like that that didn't go Mo's way. I mean that thing clipped the corner, and SHOULD have been strike three. I know that Thames should have caught that ball, and the Yankees didn't deserve to win the game anyway, but REALLY? That's Mariano F'ing Rivera out there. He gets that call.

No Explanation Necessary

noreply@blogger.com (Jimmy Dugan) — Wed, 19 May 2010 03:21:00 +0000

Sure, I could do what I usually do and write an incredibly witty and insightful summary of the best game of the year so far. But I think I will just let the picture say its 1000 words.

Not the same Twins

noreply@blogger.com (Jimmy Dugan) — Sat, 15 May 2010 03:25:00 +0000

After years of being an overachieving, scrappy, no-pop, well managed, gritty squad, it seems as though the Twins are taking a different route.

Gone are the days of slappy hitters up and down the lineup. For years all we heard was how the Twins had no power in their lineup, and now you are seeing Mauer, Morneau, and Cuddyer as offensive forces, and a power bat in Jim Thome coming off the bench. The firepower is there.

You know what else is there? The money. On the YES broadcast today, Michael Kay said that the Twinkies' payroll had eclipsed the $100 million mark this season, placing them above the mega-market Dodgers on the list.

The wave of changes has even reached Manager Ron Gardenhire. Long respected for his baseball acumen, Gardy trotted Matt Guerrier out to face A-Rod after intentionally walking Mark Teixeira to load the bases. Let me break that down for you: the Twins intentionally walked a hitter in FRONT of Alex Rodriguez to load the bases in a one run game in the 7th inning, and brought a pitcher in that A-Rod was 4 for 6 off of. Oh, by the way, 3 of those 4 hits happened to be home runs. A-Rod took just two pitches to deposit a go-ahead granny into the lefct centerfield seats. Wow. Just, wow.

You know what hasn't changed? The Twins absolutely can not figure out how to beat the Yankees in this or any other Yankee Stadium. Change is good, as long as there is some continuity mixed in.