The Frogs and Their King

Ignorant Education: The Presidents, Part I

noreply@blogger.com (Matteo) — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 01:39:00 +0000

So it has been brought to my attention that this blog is frequently used by school children to help with homework, write reports, jump to really quickly to cover up surfing porn, etc., etc., etc. But...

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here...

Reviews of the Ignorant: Financial Disaster Edition

noreply@blogger.com (Matteo) — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 03:25:00 +0000

Ok, so as banks disintegrate around us like the ghost of Obi Wan Kenobi and my house is now valued at approximately two cans of green beans (generic, at that) and fifty-two ketchup packets and people...

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here...

Comes in, because, the international hearing tries to occupy*

noreply@blogger.com (Matteo) — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 02:32:00 +0000

So I have noticed that our readership has recent decreased from 1 to 0. Even with my limited public education math skills, I know that this is a decrease of 100%, and 100% is quite a lot. In fact, I...

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here...

Recipes of the Ignorant

noreply@blogger.com (Matteo) — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 04:28:00 +0000

It has been brought to my attention (by a hideously obese person, none-the-less) that many of you are becoming hungry while waiting for a new post to appear on this blog. Fear not, hungry eyes, the...

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here...

Reviews of the Ignorant: Thanking the Academy Edition

noreply@blogger.com (Matteo) — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 05:24:00 +0000

Well, here we are folks, back for the 1st Annual 2008 Academy Awards ignorant review. I'd like to thank the dancing Snow Whites for that beautiful musical number based on the score for "3:10 to Yuma"...

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here...

Reviews of the Ignorant: Valentine's Day Massacree Edition

noreply@blogger.com (Matteo) — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 05:26:00 +0000

Ahhhhh, here it is again, Valentine's Day, and the smell of latex and penicillin fills the air. Or maybe that's the smell of landfill being packed with unwanted and unsold cards. Whatever it is,...

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here...

Dog Reviews, Part II: Tale of the Dog: Basic Instinct 2

noreply@blogger.com (Matteo) — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 14:57:00 +0000

Wow. Is it tomorrow already? I must have overslept. So, since the first edition of "Dog Reviews" was so popular (and, by popular, I mean completed and posted on the blog), I foolishly decided to...

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here...

Ruining the Curve

noreply@blogger.com (Matteo) — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 05:41:00 +0000

It has come to my deficited attention that "certain members" of the vast blogosphere are "ruining" things for "others", so much so that "they" and "their" "actions" must be surrounded by "quotation...

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here...

Struggles for Economic Equality- Bolivia, A Sleeping Giant

noreply@blogger.com (Matteo) — Sat, 24 Nov 2007 00:44:00 +0000

It seems appropriate, following a holiday in America based primarily on consumption, especially in light of the focus on the use of fowl as the meat source on the American table, which, in giving...

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here...

Reviews of the Ignorant: T12MLTMTIHNSNPOSOEIWGMOEOWRC

noreply@blogger.com (Matteo) — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 22:12:00 +0000

Sadly, many films have been released since I last set foot in the hallowed virtual halls of the Frog Blog. Now, I was going to start off with a long and thrilling story of where I have been since my...

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here...

Philosophy of the Frogs

noreply@blogger.com (Matteo) — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 16:59:00 +0000

If a blog falls on the Internets and nobody reads it, does it make a sound? Do you think Jennifer Connelly might read it anyhow?

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here...

Reviews of the Ignorant: The Nanny Diaries

noreply@blogger.com (Matteo) — Sat, 15 Sep 2007 02:14:00 +0000

Some days you just don't feel like doing anything. You wake up, wander around in your underwear, eating Doritos, just hoping that inspiration or at least motivation will strike. (Ok, I know...

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here...

Reviews of the Extremely Ignorant: Dog Reviews

noreply@blogger.com (Matteo) — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 14:08:00 +0000

Well, it's been a busy week or so, what with Labor Day and all the labor my wife made me do in honor of it. Plus, there was the embarrassing moment, after that 5th hot dog, where I thought I was...

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here...

Instant Film School: Ratings Bored

noreply@blogger.com (Matteo) — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 04:47:00 +0000

Today, we are going to dive straight into the toxic waters of film studies by reviewing the film ratings system, what it means, how ratings are determined, and what is it's effect on the tilt of the...

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here...

Reviews of the Ignorant: Hairspray

noreply@blogger.com (Matteo) — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 18:39:00 +0000

Now I love the musical, all that singing and prancing around at dramatic moments, like everyone in the thing has become brain damaged in some bizarre accident that refuses to allow them to respond...

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here...

Reviews of the Ignorant: Pulse

noreply@blogger.com (Matteo) — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 04:45:00 +0000

Now, I believe that I have made it known elsewhere in the Frog Blog that I am a horror junkie. No, I don't mean I rob the undead to buy heroin. I mean I love me some horror movies. The problem is, it...

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here...

Department of Shameless Plugs

noreply@blogger.com (Matteo) — Mon, 20 Aug 2007 22:44:00 +0000

"The Frogs and Their King" is a big brother! Please welcome the glorious birth of our brand-new, No lbs, No oz little sister! In an attempt to dominate the entirety of the Internets, we now have...

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here...

Reviews of the Ignorant: Rush Hour 3

noreply@blogger.com (Matteo) — Sat, 18 Aug 2007 17:23:00 +0000

"Taking candy from a fish", "Shooting babies in a barrel", "Tipping cows in a, uh, well, in a cow tipper", "Taking babies from a fish", "Shooting candy in a barrel", "Tasting, sucking, licking,...

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here...

Ye Strang Talle Tale Regarding Dwarfes and a Lazy Gentelfellow

noreply@blogger.com (Matteo) — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 00:33:00 +0000

Ok, where have I been? Well, you see, it's a long story, and it all started a long time ago, when the critters were closer to the folks, and the folks were closer to the critters. It was long ago,...

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here...

Reviews of the Ignorant: Princess Mononoke

noreply@blogger.com (Matteo) — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 05:23:00 +0000

Do you know what I hate? No, well, yeah, I hate Nazis, but that wasn't what I was thinking of. Do you know what else I hate? Yeah, ok, the designated hitter. But do you know what else? Yeah, Fat-free...

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here...

On the Photographic Art: Obscene Makeover Edition

noreply@blogger.com (Matteo) — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 16:35:00 +0000

Ok, so I check George Bush's polls numbers today, and I see that they are instantly .0016% better, and I understand immediately that this is because of the photo I posted yesterday, showing President...

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here...

On the Photographic Art: Jennifer Connelly

noreply@blogger.com (Matteo) — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 03:41:00 +0000

If there is one thing we love here at the Frog Blog, it is the astoundingly beautiful, amazingly intelligent, incredibly talented Jennifer Connelly. Yet there are some out there that just are not as...

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here...

Reviews of the Ignorant: Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, Rocky Balboa, Live Free or Die Hard, John Rambo, Alien vs. Predator, Indiana Jones 4

noreply@blogger.com (Matteo) — Wed, 18 Jul 2007 03:02:00 +0000

Today, I'd like to discuss a common occurrence that relates to everyone. No, I'm not talking about being put in The Cage for a week by your second grade teacher. And I'm not talking about catching...

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Reviews of the Ignorant: Pay It Forward

noreply@blogger.com (Matteo) — Sat, 14 Jul 2007 05:06:00 +0000

Hello to all our first time visitors, including myself, since it has been so long since I have been here, I feel like my blogging hymen has grown over and I'm being touched for the very first time!...

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Reviews of the Ignorant: Autumn in New York

noreply@blogger.com (Matteo) — Wed, 04 Jul 2007 20:00:00 +0000

Happy 4th of July! I'm back from my brief visit to Antartica, and, man, was I wrong about penguins! They are swell! (Shaking involuntarily). Really, really swell! Being the 4th of July, I do want to...

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here...