The Full Cup

pretty happy funny real in Minnesota

2012-01-26T08:09:00.000-06:00

pretty.

A day at the Mississipi. We had the place to ourselves. It was beautiful.

happy.

Love this girl. Holding baby Willem.

funny.

I'm not sure why, but watching my own papa bear assemble this hanging shelf thing with my two little bears was a hoot. I laughed the whole time. It was flimsy, and mysterious, and none of them knew what it was supposed to look like, and it took them a long time. I think in the end there may have been found irreconcilable defects with this product anyway? Cool to see them working together.

Willem is back to his regular happy self. Man, is he a great baby.

real.

I think I look like this a lot. I may not know what I'm saying, but I'm saying it emphatically.
A real note in a bottle. A boy I know suprised me when we showed up at the river, by taking it out of his backpack and flinging it into the river. Hopefully worthy hands will find it.

I am not my kids' buddy

2012-01-25T21:07:00.001-06:00

I am in awe of God for giving me this family.
They are so beautiful, my heart is all welled up. These gifts are so good. I cherish them every day we have together.

Big question-- as a mother what's my job? They may find me a trustworthy teacher, confidant, advisor, comforter, encourager, home base, love-giver, patcher of pants, admirer of artwork, storyteller, listener. There is some overlap between a mother and a friend. Friends do some of the things mothers do. Some of this is a future question. Lucky the mother whose grown children consider her their friend. A mother can be a best friend to a pre-schooler, but not in the way that another little kid can. A baby almost looks to his mother as a part of himself. But as a kid grows, do they keep wanting Mom to be their friend? More importantly, do they need Mom to be something their friends are not?
It's dawning on me that I don't make the best buddy. Not to my kids. They have lots of other friends and family who can be buddies. Maybe that's not one of my jobs. Buddies don't tell you what to do, and hey--that is definitely part of my Mama-job. A buddy might think you're the juice no matter what you do, but it's Mama's job to help teach right and wrong, to plot the right course, to offer a timely rebuke. Mama's got to take care of you and teach you to take care of yourself.

I want my kids to love me. I love when they tell me their secrets. (Not that I have any secrets. My lips are sealed. Don't try to wrest anything from me!) I hope that we will grow more and more into real, deep friends someday. But right now, these little pups are just learning how to be. How to read, how to work, how to love. When I let myself try and be best buds, there's too much of my own hope that they will love me forever, running me. It keeps me from making decisions that are the best for them. It keeps me from being the mother I hope to be.
We enjoy each other lots, daily. It's not the enjoying I'm talking about here, or the giving and receiving of love, but when I need them to be pleased with me at every turn.

I think I need to temporarily not care too much what they think of me.
It might actually set them free. Because I'm their Mama. That's not ever going to change. Whether we're buddies today or not.

Finger-lickin' Everyday turkey pot pie

2012-01-18T19:09:00.007-06:00

(Recipe for tonight's supper of Pot pie below.)

So, I've been thriftily getting an average of 3-5 meals each out of three pound chickens for our little family. I don't buy meat every week, and we try buy ethically and stretch it a good long way when we do. But the boys are getting bigger and eating more! On a whim, Paul and I decided to try a turkey, still frozen in the store, leftover from thanksgiving. It was almost eighteen pounds. I brined it for a couple days while it thawed, roasted it up just like I do with my usual chicken, except with loads of stuffing, which I think helps keep the bird nice and moist because the cavity isn't all full of hotted air.After the first meal, of stuffing and fresh meat, we had:
meals of:
-mashed potatoes and gravy (make potatoes extra and save for winter cheese and potato pie; my favorite)
-turkey pasta salad with almonds and dried cherries in a creamy poppyseed dressing. (Gib's other favorite)
-Turkey teriyaki over rice with steamed broccoli
-lots of cold turkey for lunches
-turkey soup with big fluffy dumplings. every one's other favorite. The secret is to not to boil the broth hard--ever. Simmer like you know it's going to be delicious.
-fresh turkey baby food
-Turkey omelets
-and, tonight, finger-lickin' turkey pot pie. it was so gratifying. everyone enjoyed this simple dish so much. no herbs or fancy flavors. just pure goodness.
And, as I still have a nice jar of broth and two containers of meat, later this week, I'm planning: -on using more broth in a pineapple fried rice dish
-turkey sandwiches with kitchen sink sprouts
-using the broth to float my gnocchi in tomorrow
-some kind of yummy salad?
-maybe turkey-black bean burritos. Burritos are great to make a handful extra and stick in the freezer for lunches.

That's a very reasonable 13 meals. It was expensive, this no-hormone, no cages, pastured, bird, but we've also been so enjoying not being so scrimpy with meat--I wasn't stretching the turkey thin in these meals. So I consider this very economical. It certainly was less pricey than an equivalent amount of chicken. A perfect focal point for our winter menus where we want good simple food, but not as spare as it will get come Lent in a month here.
Oh, and there's been not a whisper of anyone being sick of turkey. It's juicy and good. We've been so enjoying. We don't really eat much meat usually, and, never hosting the big holiday meals, never have large-scale leftovers of roasts. Heck, we wouldn't anyway. The family's big and hungry enough that there aren't many leftovers to speak of when we get together!

Finger-lickin' Pot Pie
easily, many other meats could substitute in here just fine. Also, parsnips, potatoes I would have tossed in if f I had had on hand. The crust I just made up, and we all loved it so much. We ate up every morsel and for once I'm not sorry there were no leftovers because I think it would get soggy.
2 cups pieces turkey meat, white or dark
2 stalks celery, chopped thinnishly
2 chopped, peeled carrots
1 1/2 cups peas
1/3 of an onion, finely minced (for most kids don't like the feel of onion in their picky little mouths) I would have used a whole if I hadn't just happened to have a part left over from another meal
1 1/2 cups broth
2/3 cup milk
good grinding of black pepper

Boil the celery, peas, and carrots 10-15 min, until just tender.
Saute the onion in turkey fat skimmed from the broth jar. Just to golden.
Heat the broth and meat to a simmer. It had been in the fridge for a week, after all. Mix veg, onions, meat, broth, milk, salt and pepper to taste. If Paul hadn't been around to keep an eye on the brood, I would have done the above, and prior chopping and washing of the above, ahead of time, and just assembled the pie and popped it in the oven an hour before dinner. Maybe. Okay today I would have put the baby on my back and cranked some loud music for the boys to jump around to and done it all as I did in the hour before supper.

Now the fun starts: biscuit-pie crust
3-4 cups flour, pile in a heap on butcher block or big bread board
stir into it with a fork:
1/2 tsp baking soda
two good pinches of salt
now I took my dough knife and chopped a quarter cup (half a stick) of butter into the flour. I just chopped until all the pieces were pea-sized or so. I suppose a chef's knife or butter knives or fingertips could do the same thing. I did chop, not knead or rub. The butter was just out of the fridge.
Now-- I made the flour into a little mountain and made a hole in the center. Quick as can be, I stirred 3 Tablespoons full of good plain full-fat yogurt in. I incorporated as much flour as possible, then take the soft dough out and set it aside and do it again until most of the flour mixture is dough. Maybe three times. I stop before all the flour is incorporated so I won't have to add more for rolling out the crust. I took half of this crust, and rolled it out. This makes a big flaky, floury pile that doesn't seem like it's ever going to hold together at all. That's good; it will, though. All along I'm dusting the excess flour over and under the crust to incorporate it; I roll the crust out as big as my pie pan. I take my dough knife and scrape up the edges on the four sides all around and fold them inward, like folding it in half and in half again. Roll it out again. As soon as possible, I set that crust into the deep dish pie pan. I do the same with the second half, and fold the finished crust in quarters to rest a minute.
Pour the filling into the bottom crust. If there's too much, (I want to leave an inch of room so it doesn't boil over) I put the extra aside for another meal or an extra little pie or hand-pie for Paul's lunch. Best not to overload!
Now I take that folded crust and unfold it on top of the pie. There's a good bit of over-hang. I seal the top crust to the bottom crust all the way around the edges by pressing with my fingers. I fold the excess under against the inside of the pie, because we like crust so, double thick is great. I crimped the edge with my fingers. I slit the top with a knife to let the steam out, and pop it into the oven, which is preheated to 425 F.

It was all cooked in 25-30 minutes, just goldening on top and around the edges. Rested for 10 minutes. Served nice and hot but not scalding! Everyone was so happy.
Our six year old adds, "make sure to say that kids like it too!"

Whew. That sounded like a lot of work, but that crust took just a couple of minutes. Really. Like, less than five. I've made a lot of fussy crusts with taking in and out of the fridge, and ice water and vodka and whatnot. They were so fussy I never made anything with a crust! I'm not sure vodka and ice water weren't just trying , and failing, to make up for my not knowing how to just do this quick and with a light touch. I don't think Grandma used ice or liquor in her crusts, and I don't think she just always served tough or heavy crusts! But as I get the hang of it, it's not so hard. Just making one every once in a while was so worth it, I think I'm getting the knack now, and I can just bang these out!
The crust was between a biscuit crust and a pie crust: crisp outside; flaky, light, and soft inside.

A Desultory Phillipic

2011-10-23T20:06:00.000-05:00

I've been bumping around the book of Philippians. I do this sometimes; get stuck in a passage. sometimes it's a psalm, or one short verse. Recently it's been in the fourth chapter of Philippians. Note to self: next dry spell, remember that the more scripture you read, the more you love it, and the more juicy goodness you get out of it. This passage is like a strong drink to me.

Warning: biblical obscurity alert! Forgive me while I geek out a while.
I usually read out of the Jerusalem Bible. Reading a certain passage in Zephaniah that was so beautiful it took my breath away won me over to this outdated, Catholic translation. I have a copy of it that is just falling apart but I can't bear to part with it, and it is very hard to find. I finally realized that my falling-apart bible was so much work to read, what with the pages falling out and everything, that it was keeping me from reading the Bible much at all! So I bit the bullet and have started reading out of a different, intact, but very large and unwieldy copy. I made myself a beautiful new ribbon bookmark to entice me into the new book, and it worked. Little things, like the edition of my bible, or an ugly cover, or the lack of adequate bookmarks, often keep me from deep quiet times! (ok, I also like the Jerusalem Bible because J.R.R. Tolkien worked on the translation team. How cool is that? I only know it because I'm such a nerd that I was reading the translation notes. The text notes are mostly bunk; watch out!)
Anyway, I don't recommend the Jerusalem translation for this particular passage. Here is my own paraphrase:

Rejoice! And again, I say, Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and with thanksgiving, present your requests to the Lord, and the peace which passes understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally brothers, fill your minds with everything that is true, everything that is noble, anything that is excellent or praiseworthy, whatever is lovely and honorable, whatever is virtuous, whatever is good and pure. Fill your mind with such things.

I was once in a choir. The lowliest choir, really, at St. Olaf College; the only one I could have been in, as I didn't have to audition to join it. Antoine Armstrong, the fabulous conductor described to us how the lyrics, by John Donne, to a piece we were doing, were like a world inside of a nutshell; metaphysical. This passage is worth letting oneself sink into so one can wander around it, marvelling at all the delights therein:
-permission, even exhortation to rejoice! as in God we have great cause to do!
-The Lord is near. How beautiful, to be with God! He is so tender to me, so lovely and sweet.
-Only the voice of God can settle down my worried heart. No one can really tell me not to worry but one who can take care of me, one who knows a lot more than I.
-He gives me something to do with my heart, a practical alternative to worry!
-The closest I can describe the advent, or coming, of the God of peace, is right at the end of Till We Have Faces, when Orual finally meets Eros.
-I very much want help in keeping my heart and mind in the peace that often seems so fleeting.
-That bit about filling the mind with everything good and beautiful and excellent; Yes! This could be the vision for our homeschool, and for my own continuing education. To be filled with all sorts of goodness.

The baby comes with spring

2011-09-17T08:29:00.001-05:00

I wrote this while waiting to have a baby, our third.

Due at easter
before the lillies?
before the lilacs.
but there may be crocuses,
fiddleheads, stretching up in curls
out of papery-brackeney nests,
out of damp dark dirt and leaves
the beginnings of lacy green on the trees?

Will the baby come with wet sidewalks,
nights warm enough for noise on the streets?
open windows?

even rain?
Thank God, thank God! The babe came. He sent us this baby--oh, I am filled with wonder--
and he carried me through that birth!
He answered my call and delivered me from my distress. Oh, I thank him with all my heart. God is my only treasure, and my great reward. He has been so good, so good to me.

The Only Salt Seas in Northern Lake Country

2011-09-15T08:32:00.001-05:00

Written while waiting to give birth.

Small Whale
surfaces near my boat as I stand watching, waiting.
A fin slides along, just under the skin,
rides the length of the keel.
Sometimes bumps--push--
against the gunwhale.
Sitting astern, on my knees,
I wait for another sighting.
This silent companion,
more felt than seen,
glides along with us.
My paddle in hands, grasped firmly
to pull as hard as I can,
forward in great surges against the water.
We will slice though the grey,
splashes echoing against and under the small boat.

Perchance, if the wind picks up,
under this lowering sky,
we will ride peaks curdled with warm white foam,
slapping hard from one grey glassy hill
to another.
At our backs wind drives us,
faster than a runner to the far shore.

In our faces, we pull straight into the wind,
riding up and down the great swells,
now nigh four feet high,
one at a time, straight through and over
each solid hill of water,
nose high in the air,
pulling to the utmost,
from deep and low in our bodies,
in unison, singing strategy and courage to one another,
stroke and stroke and stroke and pull
across the long windy open water.

Or, given calm skies,
we may enjoy the gentle shelter of the quiet sunsteeped bay.
Along fingers of lake reaching through mats of hairy grassy rooty turf,
gentle through the sliding lillies,
sitting queenly open to the sun,
even slip, easy as a carved toy boat
past the narrow steep rocks,
right on by hidden tearing rocks,
under a low snag;
just around submerged deadheads
glide out into the open calm of the next lake.

Then--breathe easy,
rub our eyes
refill our water bottles from the deep still
open water
drink deep and long.

Overheard

2011-09-13T00:02:00.000-05:00

Ezra: Wanna go adventuring in the woods?!
Fiona: I like the woods. I have a picture of me with my friends in the willow tree and we were in the woods.
Ezra: It's special when someone gives you a picture.
Fiona: No, my picture is something that really happened to me.

Basket of Eggs

2011-09-11T07:04:00.001-05:00

Baby, you were so worth it! I worried so much. That birth was so hard.
You are so beautiful. I love you.
I wrote this while pregnant, hopeful and wondering about the child to come, trying not to count my chick before he hatched.

Crafted slowly, tenderly thoughtfully
this one is gilded, beauty-bright

This, covered in sugared violets, sparkles
in the Easter breakfast light.

Here, fern-green, unfurling fronds wrap around
this one, dark red, a soaking, velvet crimson.
This plain one, warm, hums like a honey bee.
One dew-damp from the morning chill,
another ringed with a quadrille of curliques

They nestle in the straw
in a circle softly mother-lined.

Behold! Tokens of inner wealth
glory-filled
vigil-waited
sunrise-light---

yet what's inside,
the treasure lasting,
is not ours yet,
till in our hand.

Sup with me: Honey Baked Lentils

2011-09-10T20:03:00.007-05:00

Hrmmph. Dislike cooking?

I'm not a gourmand, and this is no Smitten Kitchen, but I think I might do some posts of cheap, healthy, easy quick dinners. Recipe at the bottom of post--skip down if you don't want my rambling commentary.

This one can be made, for me, without a trip to the store. It's because of our well stocked pantry, which could just as easily be a cupboard. Here's how it works: I always have onions, (I don't know how anyone functions if you don't have a couple of onions waiting for you!) garlic, spices, and the grains and oils and baking stuff I use all the time, on hand. When I use up one of these ingredients, I just write it on the grocery list that we keep running, on the fridge. I have tied a pencil to the magnet that holds the list, because otherwise I can't find anything to write with when I use up the ingredient, and I forget about it and don't have it the next time I need it. Things that are sold in bulk at the coop where we shop, like lentils and honey, I write a b next to, with a little circle around it, so Paul, who does the grocery shopping, will be alerted to bring the appropriate container. If I were really organized, I would put the empty container in a certain place, like the grocery bag, so he wouldn't have to hunt around to find it!
I haven't planned this recipe into this week, but if I needed to, I could go downstairs and make it right now. It can be baked in the oven, or a crock pot (which I don't have) or in a solar oven if it's too hot to heat the house.

I think the key to not loathing cooking is only making food that you personally like to eat! I don't even try cooking things that seem weird or gross to me. When I have, it is invariably a disaster.
I enjoy preparing meals for the family infinitely more if I know where my food came from, and can feel good about serving them something delicious and nourishing. I also like touching good fresh food. I am a bit like a preschooler--my favorite thing about this recipe, is running the lentils through my hands when I put them in the dish! (If the kids aren't too messy, one could let them play with the dried beans while one gets the rest of the ingredients together. It's like a sensory bin in the nursery school! My kids like to put their plastic snakes and dinosaurs in grain and make little diorama scenes! Afterwards they want to help put everything together, and then they have a better chance of liking the food, since they helped cook it.)

Also, a sharp knife, and a good wooden butcher block. It's no fun to cut an onion with a dull knife. That makes me cry. And then I'm liable to cut myself, or go ballistic when the kids flip the lentils I gave them all over the kitchen floor. Life with little children is really more enjoyable with a good sharp knife. I have one plain good chef's knife that I use for almost everything. I sharpen it with a round steel I keep right next to the knife. I haven't taken a class in sharpening, (I know, I'm really just straightening the edge, Imad!) but it stays keen enough for me. I use a wooden butcher block to cut, for everything. A damp towel under the cutting board can keep it from sliding around if that's a problem.

This is the recipe that got me started tolerating beans. I first found it on HappyFoody. For some reason, I grew up loathing them. But this is so tasty, I like to lick out the pot after it's all gone! I brought this to a church dinner once, and people who claimed they hated lentils had seconds and asked for the recipe. No guarantees that you or yours will like it, but I and mine do! I find that my hungry children like almost anything, whereas my children who've had their fill of crackers and sweets are bound to complain about even their favorite dishes!

Honey Baked Lentils
Good for the cooler months. Serve with good rice, or pitas, or fresh whole wheat bread and butter, or as a soup, with a spoon! Great with a nutty or grainy bread. This does take some time in the oven, so it's not a last-minute dish, but it is low effort! Good with carrots or winter squash or sweet potatoes. Winter vegetables could be cooked into it. But honestly I just make it plain and simple.

I cup Lentils, I use brown
Onion, chopped
2 Tbsp Honey, could also be made with maple syrup
2 Tbsp Soy sauce or tamari
2 Tbsp Olive oil
1/2 tsp Ginger: grated fresh or the powdered spice is fine too
2 cups Water
Salt and pepper to taste

Put all the ingredients in a covered dish, in a 350F oven, and bake until fragrant and tender, about 1 1/2 hours. Lentils should be very soft.
If desired, blend or run through a food mill to make it smooth; for some reason my kids like smooth things best.

Contentment and the Cardinal Virtues

2011-09-08T20:53:00.000-05:00

Pretty:
I love that life springs up everywhere! This is a patch of sweet green sprouting in something--ahem--mostly dead, in our backyard. I love that this is what god does in the lives of his people; make life grow where all was dead.
I don't want to say it too loud, lest I incur the wrath of neighborly weed-haters, but I cherish a secret love of creeping charlie. As a kid, I mourned when Dad cut all the lovely purple flowers in the lawn just when they were starting to get nice. I like to lie in it, and I love it's charming fragrance. I don't like it in my vegetable garden, though you couldn't tell that by looking! So lush, verdant, and luxuriously green.

Happy: I am happy to have good friends in our neighborhood. I am happy my kids have sweet pals. Look at them! The tutu! The sword! The hands held, the valiant smile and the determined chins! Doesn't the picture of childhood in summer just warm the cockles of your heart?

I am happy we are learning so much together. These are great kids, and we love learning together!

They learn whether I want them to or not! For instance, I would sort of rather the learning-via-digging-under-the-clotheslines stop pretty soon. Or at least before the clotheslines fall over! But, oh, you wouldn't beleive the discoveries that have been made in this pit! It has been dug and redug. Bones unearthed, floods, mud games, bridges, secrets galore! I haven't had the heart to put a stop to it yet. Today, Ezra went ankle-deep in delight and mud-lusciousness.
Real:
I've been thinking about the four cardinal virtues Leila from Like Mother, Like Daughter talks about: Fortitude, Prudence, Temperance, and Justice. Mostly thinking what a woefully short supply I have of them! Honestly, I had heard of the four cardinal virtues before; my Grandpa Roy liked to extol them. But his weren't the ones listed above-- I won't discuss Grandpa's cardinal virtues in mixed company!
Fortitude, Prudence, Temperance, and Justice. These are solid.
I've done a lot of working on Peace, Joy, Love, and Hope, but they so often elude me. How can one work on peace? I can't generate Joy, you know. I wonder if Fortitude, Prudence, Temperance, and Justice might not give me a handle with which to grasp, to receive the sweet gifts of God.
Fortitude to let go of the doubts and recriminations that steal the joy he's given.

Can I see the beauty, the glory of God in the midst of real life?
Funny: I've seen so many lemonade stands this summer! I love the way they hawk their wares.
I never had the chutzpa to set out my shingle like that, but I think these kids are making bank! My kids far prefer lemonade stand kool-aid to my fresh-squeezed. I think my husband does too! Ha!
Way to go kids!

Miscellany of Frugal Food tips

2011-09-07T23:20:00.006-05:00

Our family of five spends $400 a month and I feel like we live like kings. We shop at our co-op or farmers' market. We shoot for local, real food. I say amen to all the folks I meet who want real food! Do you wonder if it's possible to eat fresh, local, ethically grown food without being rich? I think it is!
-planning is huge. I make the most I can out of all our meat. A roast, salad and sandwiches from the leftovers, broth and sauces from the bones, fat, and juices. We look to buy whole birds/small animals and split half or quarter cows/other large animals with neighbors and family. I look at what's leftover when planning the next shopping trip--we buy exactly what we need
-plan ahead for snack food and lunches. I like to have grabbable snacks around for emergencies and busy days. I have found it useful to package up leftovers into meal-sized containers before we eat. Otherwise if it's good, it just gets all eaten, or only
the unpopular bits are leftover.
-when we have beans, I make tortillas the next day. I make a bunch extra, wrap them up and freeze them for good quick meals.
-Gardening! It's not as hard as it seems! The garden gets a little better every year, as I learn from my mistakes. Really, the first year I planted tomatoes, I was amazed that these things grown with next to no assistance. It's like a miracle every year. You plant things, and they grow, and make fruits! What a gift from God!
-we never buy prime cuts. Luckily, our neighbors we are buying beef with this year want exclusively prime cuts! Jack Sprat and his wife, you know.
-we planted strawberries, mullberries, raspberries, blackberries, juneberries. I get blueberry bushes for friends who have better yards for growing them. Berries are so expensive organic, we can never afford to buy them, even locally and pick-your own. Once planted, they get better every year and come back on their own. (did I mention I love perennial foods?!!)
-we have a small yard, so glean from other people's fruit trees. Most people with fruit trees don't seem to know what to do with all the fruit! Some people are happy to let me harvest their whole crop instead of letting it fall on the sidewalk. This has worked for me with apples, pears, crabapples, grapes. One good little tree gives us a year's supply of applesauce and apple butter. Fruit is really important to us! I have gotten fruit from vacant lots.
-We get WIC. I know lots of people qualify for this who would never think of getting assistance--we love the program. they are always very respectful, and we can buy all the food at our coop. they also give vouchers for our local farmers' market.
-we make everything we can from scratch. little by little I've built up skills and habits. for instance, I realized we used a lot of ketchup; when I canned tomatoes I put up a year's supply of ketchup for not much extra work. pickles, jams, sauces--this type of stuff is way more expensive to buy than to make. yogurt, fresh cheeses. I don't know if fermented grains would be better nutritionally for you than other grains, but they are for us. I started a lot of this reading "More With Less", the mennonite cookbook. They also have a seasonal cookbook, "simply in Season".

-seasonal eating. Buy what's cheap when it's cheap, in quantity. We eat a lot of squash and beets in the winter! Mushrooms and beef in fall, chickens, dairy, eggs, and onions in spring. Vegetables galore in the summer. I recommend "Full Moon Feast". and "Midwest Gardener's Cookbook".
-free and cheap garden ideas: buy green onions, save the rootbase and the bottom inch of stalk. Stick these in the ground, and next year enjoy fresh green onions! An herb garden has a big payoff--once planted, perennial herps just come back on their own, with no extra money and harldy any work. I don't ever buy fresh herbs from the coop, but cook with them every day for free!
-I haven't yet successfully started tomatoes and peppers from seed, but all the gardeners I know who do this often have lots of starts they want to give away for free.
-alfalfa sprouts and other bean sprouts: I grow these in a jar with a screen lid on the dish drainer. Great for the winter when fresh greens are so pricey and shipped across the country
-I seed coriander/cilantro from the bulk whole herbs at the coop. also coop garlic is way cheaper for planting. than garden suppliers, and usually open-pollinated, heirloom varieties. Ditto onions and potatoes. If I have some spouting or getting all soft, I just plant them out. I say amen to a lot of what has been posted and will try to only add my extra bits:
-we buy all our food at our co-op or farmers market. we shoot for local, real food.
-We get WIC. I know lots of people qualify for this who would never think of getting assistance--we love the program. they are always very respectful, and we can buy all the food at our coop. they also give vouchers for our local farmers' market.
-planning is huge. I make the most I can out of all our meat. A roast, salad and sandwiches from the leftovers, broth and sauces from the bones, fat, and juices. We look to buy whole birds/small animals and split half or quarter cows/other large animals with neighbors and family. I look at what's leftover when planning the next shopping trip--we buy exactly what we need
-plan ahead for snack food and lunches. I like to have grabbable snacks around for emergencies and busy days. I have found it useful to package up leftovers into meal-sized containers before we eat. Otherwise if it's good, it just gets all eaten, or only the unpopular bits are leftover.
-when we have beans, I make tortillas the next day. I make a bunch extra, wrap them up and freeze them for good quick meals.
-we never buy prime cuts. Luckily, our neighbors we are buying beef with this year want exclusively prime cuts! Jack Sprat and his wife, you know.
-we planted strawberries, mullberries, raspberries, blackberries, juneberries. I give blueberry bushes to friends who have better yards for growing them. Berries are so expensive organic, we can never afford to buy them, even locally and pick-your own. Once planted, they get better every year and come back on their own.
-we have a small yard, so glean from other people's fruit trees. Most people with fruit trees don't seem to know what to do with all the fruit! People are often happy to let me harvest their whole crop instead of letting it fall on the sidewalk. This has worked for me with apples, pears, crabapples, grapes. One good little tree gives us a year's supply of applesauce and apple butter. Fruit is really important to us! I also get fruit from vacant lots
-we make everything we can from scratch. little by little I've built up skills and habits. for instance, I realized we used a lot of ketchup; when I canned tomatoes I put up a year's supply of ketchup for not much extra work. pickles, jams, sauces--this type of stuff is way more expensive to buy than to make. yogurt, fresh cheeses. I don't know if fermented grains would be better nutritionally for you than other grains, but they are for us. I started a lot of this reading "More With Less", the mennonite cookbook. They also have a seasonal cookbook, "simply in Season".
-seasonal eating. I buy what's cheap when it's cheap, in quantity. We eat a lot of squash and beets in the winter! Mushrooms and beef in fall, chickens, dairy, eggs, and onions in spring. Vegetables galore in the summer. I recommend "Full Moon Feast". and "Midwest Gardener's Cookbook".
-free and cheap garden ideas: when I buy green onions, I save the rootbase and the bottom inch of stalk. Stick these in the ground, and next year enjoy fresh green onions. An herb garden has a big payoff--once planted, perennial herps just come back on their own, with no extra money and harldy any work. I wouldn't ever buy fresh herbs from the coop, but cook with them every day for free!
-I haven't yet successfully started tomatoes and peppers from seed, but all the gardeners I know who do this always have lots of starts they want to give away for free.
-alfalfa sprouts and other bean sprouts: I grow these in a jar with a screen lid on the dish drainer. Great for the winter when fresh greens are so pricey and shipped across the country
-I seed coriander/cilantro from the bulk whole herbs at the coop. also coop garlic is way cheaper for planting. than garden suppliers, and usually open-pollinated, heirloom varieties. Ditto onions and potatoes. If I have some spouting or getting all soft, I just plant them out.
-I look for recipes that have just a handful of ingredients, most in my pantry, playing backup to whatever's in season. Simple but really good.
-I don't feel at all bad about being cheap. It is a delight to have good, fresh food. I like my food better since I don't get everything year-round. By the time it finally warms up enough for minnesota greens or chives and peas, or cools off for apples and soups, we're all so hungry for them!

Engines of Mordor

2011-08-08T20:33:00.004-05:00

The engines of Mordor are at our gates. It was really hard to be at our house today. By the end of the day, the lot in the picture below is barren of house and trees.

We woke to the noises of destruction. I ran from bed to the window and saw a large yellow machine taking a giant bite out of a house across the parking lot from us. This particular house is one whose demolition I have been dreading. It was built in 1900, the same year as our house. It has been empty for a few years, but the windows and doors were mostly original and intact, not boarded up. It had wood floors, lovely woodwork. It was a nice, plain, old house. Bank-owned but not listed for sale, it apparently cost less to demolish than to repair.

I asked the men who were tearing it down if we could have a few windows and doors, since our house is still missing some of them. They declined. The house was too full of fumes from the SWAT team training exercises done there last week for them to be inside the house. The operator of the wrecking machine also told me that the wood could not be reclaimed or reused in any way because he would pulverize it. The entire thing was trashed, and they tore down the lot's large trees.Walking away from this disappointing encounter, I saw trucks pulling up to the bungalow across the street from us. This nice little house has been hard used as a rental, although it was drastically rehabilitated less than two years ago. The trash-out team of young men smashed every piece of furniture that had been left in the house by its previous occupants, and piled large trucks, all bound for the trash, full of things of every description. One said, "We'll take out all the trash, and then they'll tear it down. I don't *&%#ing care." He seemed to think the house being full of other people's abandoned things merited its demolition.

When I saw them carrying out a large oval mirror framed with carved wood, Paul stopped me from running out to ask for it. He knows I wouldn't know when to stop. They threw it on the pile and efficiently crushed it underfoot. (Mary snagged some fishing tackle and equipment. Paul saw some young neighbors of ours covertly making off with stacks of board games. More power to the scavengers!)

All day long we were literally surrounded by the sounds of destruction. Smashing, shattering, tearing, crushing.

We also got the sad news that a pile of construction materials were stolen from the yard of our new neighbors who are trying to breathe new life into another neglected property.

I ask for your prayers for new life here. I pray for the redemption and rebirth of these properties. For a renaissance of truth and beauty in this corner of the world. For us to recognize our history and learn from it. For families and neighbors to come together and protect, salvage, rebuilt, replant.How does the destruction of an old house, even a good old house, compare to greater evils? Senseless destruction of any kind is sad and wasteful, irresponsible. It is a little picture of a bad thing. Today, here, it was a noisy picture of a bad thing.
The above photo of Paul and some neighbors was taken by a neighbor kid we really care about. He used to live in one of the houses I was talking about today. I hope we will see him again.

pretty, happy, funny, real

2011-08-04T15:15:00.005-05:00

Capturing the context of Contentment in everyday life:
Pretty. Jess and WillemMoses. Pretty isn't really enough. Golden! Glorious!
Happy. We made these little animals, a dragon and a bunny, with modelling wax boughten from the late toy shop, Wonderment. They were sweet and were cherished and played with for a brief morning before being smashed back into balls of wax.
Funny. William Moses' little head bobbles on his neck, his eyes are wide and focused. His grin without restraint. He practices holding his weight on his two sturdy little feet. He practices his Jazz Hands. (The photo here only captures the smiling eyes.)
Real. The "foreclosure crisis" is quite tangible on our block, where 16 out of 24 homes have been foreclosed upon. This is one is actually on the upswing. The property is being rehabbed by a family who will be living there, just two doors down from us! They took this little doomed house down by hand. It had only one narrow window on its whole eastern face.
We do not begrudge them this demolition, the first promising one we have seen, and are so thankful for their presence. Already, this family adding to the love and life and enthusiasm of this corner of Frogtown. Also, they have two young kids who look like they'll be great playmates!
Look at the grandeur of those trees!

Pretty, happy, funny, real is a weekly link thing from Like Mother, Like Daughter. That blog is one of my lifelines.
Too often, my operating goal is to be happy all the time. Contentment, however, means the acceptance of every circumstance and season and weather and mood, including the difficult and unhappy ones: working, creating, crying, raging, comforting, resting, enjoying, waiting.
Contentment comes from clinging to the one constant through all changes; the love from which none of those things can separate me.
Making the best of things, and celebrating the good and beautiful doesn't hurt either!

Our Projects

2011-07-25T20:56:00.000-05:00

Looking at our pictures from our little family getaway with Jessica, our doula, (yeah, now we call her our life doula. ) I noticed that we all have projects we work on for fun. It's how we roll.
Even in the woods, you bet Paul has fun making mighty fine coffee.

Ezra and Gibbie did a very involved work involving corn cobs and fire. The hay meadow was planted, I think, to field corn last year, but it never dried out well so it was left on the stalks and little animals grabbed them and now the cobs are strewed all over the woods. They took these and charred them in the fire, and then Gibbie brought them to Ezra who had a station for scraping them. It was all very systematic and satisfying.
Empty pop cans became ammunition. Ezra hoarding cans. It was quite a battle.
They made torches. Sticks with dried leaves tied on with grasses. They really worked, though more smoke than light.
I like to make flower crowns.
Scouts tending the fires.

Don't tell me nursing isn't a project. I know better. This little one is still in the making.

Bill Watterson on Selling out

2011-07-16T20:23:00.001-05:00

Bill Watterson, an artist who wouldn't merchandise his work despite heavy pressure and substantial enticements, and fought hard for having a real life:

"Selling out is usually more a matter of buying in. Sell out, and you're really buying into someone else's system of values, rules and rewards. The so-called "opportunity" I faced would have meant giving up my individual voice for that of a money-grubbing corporation. It would have meant my purpose in writing was to sell things, not say things. My pride in craft would be sacrificed to the efficiency of mass production and the work of assistants. Authorship would become committee decision. Creativity would become work for pay. Art would turn into commerce. In short, money was supposed to supply all the meaning I'd need. What the syndicate wanted to do, in other words, was turn my comic strip into everything calculated, empty and robotic that I hated about my old job. They would turn my characters into television hucksters and T-shirt sloganeers and deprive me of characters that actually expressed my own thoughts."

The above, quoted by Nevin Martell in his unauthorized biography of Bill Watterson, Looking for Calvin and Hobbes. I almost included two paragraphs of rather pointed analysis of said book but Upon Reflection, I'm not sure those thoughts are worth airing. I'll just say, "Hear, hear!" to Watterson's words.

Learning to Read

2011-07-12T20:46:00.002-05:00

I've loved Leila's recent posts on learning to read. Never taught anyone to read before, but Gibbie and Ezra are on the cusp! I learned to read in first grade. I remember longing to read around five years of age, but it didn't then occur to me I could learn before they taught us in school. Maybe I wasn't ready to any earlier. By second grade I was reading chapter books late into the night.
What we're doing: reading out loud, lots and lots and lots. Picture books, poetry, comic books, favorite novels. This is seriously my favorite pastime. I basically married Paul because he would read books out loud with me. Gibbie won a little prize at his school last year among kids his age for reading the most hours during a reading fundraiser. The tricky thing was remembering to write it down. Our family chapter book really put us over the top because it means we read in the car and while doing dishes and other otherwise unliterary moments.

We are going through some popular phonics-early readers, but mostly the kids seem to respond best to tailored instruction. For instance, I've noticed that Ezra breaks words down into sounds orally, but has trouble sounding out written words, and is sounding out and writing his own phonetic words in a way Gibbie never did. Gibbie, when we work on reading, always wants to write out the words we sound out on his slate or in his notebook. We did get them each a special notebook and pen, just theirs, in which they do plenty of practicing and playing around.

I would like to read Uncovering the Logic of English by Denise Eide because her premise makes so much sense to me; that English is phonetic if you really learn the actual rules of phonics. (I think; I haven't read this yet!) This makes so much beautiful sense to me.

These boys are both writing lots of letters everyday, and have many of the building blocks of reading in hand. They seem to be synthesizing those elements into bona fide reading in different ways. All very exciting, and we're just not going to push it, or worry about comparing them to any brilliant friends of ours who all were fluently reading years earlier than us, all right?

Polaroids, new baby survival skills

2011-07-04T17:05:00.005-05:00

Well, awesome Paul has found a way of making his old (old, old) Polaroid camera work again. I love how iconic and vintage the pictures look, as if viewed through decades. They are already nostalgic to me because the last time I saw Polaroids was when I was little, so the flaws of the images look to me like the essence of childhood.
Life with a baby; how does one do it? I met a family at the beach with nine children. I want to know: what are their secrets? They didn't look like they were at their wits' ends. They seemed happy and un-desperate, but didn't share the magic beans with me.

Willem is the sweetest baby. He is a daisy, a lamb, a child already. I delight in him, and cherish holding and caring for him. But I can't put him down! He sleeps wonderfully throughout the day, but wakes up in bare minutes if I put him down. He loves to sleep wrapped on to me with cloth, but I can't chop vegetables that way, knead bread, clean the bathroom, do anything that requires two hands in front of me.

When he does get into a deep sleep, I find myself paralyzed with all the things I could be doing! Beginning tasks is getting harder, as the interruptions are constant!
I've done this before--former me, how did you do it? Oh yeah, I cried a lot.

William Moses

2011-07-02T08:59:00.003-05:00

So, William Moses arrived! A while ago now, and just finding the time to post now. It has been beautiful. The birth, thank God was quite and agony and an ecstasy, and both I and the baby were remarkably unscathed. He nurses and sleeps and smiles, and we are overflowing with thankfulness. And relief! Many thanks to all who help us, and pray for us, and love us.
Willem has soft brown downy hair. He has almost-brown looking-eyes. They look and look and look, in wonder at all things. He has a little rosebud mouth, which likes to smile. He has a soft voice, with which he talks to us once in a while.

Willem's big brothers are wonderful. they are laughing, jumping, swinging, dancing, drawing, singing, and creating their way through summer. I have been treated to breakfast in bed, and the baby is constantly regailed with songs and smiles. He is oh-so-loved already. We are stretching into our new size as a family, and learning how to live again with a baby. I am attending to enjoying and being present to each beautiful member of our family. Noticing and soaking up who they are today. I hope that out of this, which itself is an abiding in the presence of God, will come a new rhythm for our days. I'm winging it day by day.

I am feeling a familiar lowering of spirits; a vulnerability, a neediness of the heart for cheer and love and joy. I remember, just as in birth itself, to sink into it rather than clench against it or work to overcome it. Acknowledge the rain, and open my eyes.

Don't Worry- We'll let you know!

2011-04-26T18:40:00.003-05:00

Waiting can be hard. We know.
We're all ready to go!
Really quite well prepared.
I promise, we'll let you know when there's anything to share.

Ezra's Sunshine Quilt

2011-03-26T14:02:00.001-06:00

I made a quilt for Gibbie when he was small, and have been intending to make one for Ezra ever since. Gibbie's is rather a Valentine's quilt, in reds with lots of velvet and corduroy and flanneliness. Ezra, of course, needed something different. I believe the first time we took Gibbs to church, he was wrapped in his quilt, as it was winter and none of his limbs would stay in their places in a snowsuit yet-- Ezra's, being just finished now, obviously was not in use as a baby quilt, but has been fun in a different way because he can be a part of it.
Ezra's quilt is sunny. I remember sitting all day in my nursing couch with this one when he was yet tiny--my August baby, and just thinking how sunny and joyous all was. He has often chosen bright sunny colors. In fact, I often look to his drawings for color inspiration; he picks loud but harmonious combinations I wouldn't think of.
We went to the fabric store together, and looked at fabric. There was also a lot of searching in the piles of old clothing and linens. My neighbor Wendy gave us the backing fabric, which had been a crib sheet, and was nicely softened. I embroidered all the borders between squares. That was fun. Embroidery is one of my favorite crafts, and I don't do it very often. Partly, I just like looking at and using my amazing embroidery floss box, which I started way back in junior high or high school, when I did a rash of crazy quilting. (still working on that quilt too!)I have these lovely blue birds from an old garment my friend Maggie gave me. They have been waiting for homes. Two flew onto Ezra's quilt, where he wanted them, in the middle of the back. One alighted on Gibbie's quilt. Another reason I like quilting is that we can always add on later. Working on this has given me all kinds of ideas--how fun and easy to add pictures, or sew on special things, or stitch in a little poem or song.
For batting, I used an old lambswool sweater that was beyond repurposing. I think this will be warm. It is not bulky at all. The binding is inspired by those blankets that were always on the bed at Gramma Loretta's house, with the silken edges--so nice to rub as you fall asleep.

A good small quilt remains good. It can always be used along with bigger blankets to stay warm in bed. It can go on laps to watch movies even for teenagers or grownups. Kids use them to lie on the floor, or build forts on the couch, or any number of other things. And the more loved they are, the more reason to keep growing them, with new patches and pictures! Plus, they're good for you, with all that love stitched into them!

Kid's Blogs

2011-03-10T10:32:00.004-06:00

Drawings, photos, coloring pages, and real life photo journalism by the children of The Full Cup!
Gibbie's work can be seen at Gibbie'sPhotos.

And original work by Ezra may now be viewed at Ezra's Picture Pages!
Artwork is chosen by the kids, with text dictated by them also.

Gibbie's Camera

2011-02-18T17:31:00.004-06:00

Gibbie got a camera for his birthday and has been taking a bunch of pictures (hundreds, actually). Here are some of his favorite picks:

Collaborative Art with a Child

2011-02-07T22:08:00.001-06:00

This piece was a collaboration between Gibbie and I. I was working on a small piece Paul's mom commissioned, and Gibbie was so enamoured of it he wanted me to make a copy for him. I said I wondered if he wouldn't rather choose a favorite animal, and that launched this simple project.He drew the landscape and the sky, and told me which animals to put and where they should go. He brought his stuffed animals as drawing models and set them up for me on the dining room table. I drew the animals and painted in the colors, with consultation and discussion about the Antarctic. This is a painting of the time of year when it is dark all the time--we don't really know what that looks like, so we surmised, and we will learn more about it later.

We talked about painting snow. At first, Gibbie said it was white, and wanted me to use white paint. I suggested he look out the window at our snow heap and asked how he can see the shapes in the snow. He decided that there are blueish parts, so we put those in.

For the sky, I just used a watercolor wash, sprinkled with table salt . We both signed it. The most challenging part of this painting for me was keeping my admirers from sliding the tablecloth off the table and bumping my arms in their excitement while I worked.

I love working together with my kids! We will both treasure this painting.

Urban Owls in the Woods

2011-02-03T22:28:00.004-06:00

I have discovered a Wonder not far from our house. There is a beautiful park, Reservoir Woods, just up the road from us. No one talks about this place, and I had never heard of it until last summer, but it is so lovely! There are wetlands, buggy lowlands, butternut woods with currants, a sunny vineyard of sumac, and lovely tall piney woods.
It is in the piney woods that we have seen owls. Or rather, an owl. I don't know if two owls would ever sit together like that--it is a fanciful rendering for a nursery wall. I think I could have been more realistic if it weren't the dead of winter--so this picture shows all the gaps in my memory of one of my favorite forests. I did try to show the forest floor, sparse of plants, and covered with a thick mat of orangey needles. A fallen log with that bright orange fungus spotting it. Sunny greenness and sky showing farther away. I wish I could depict the feeling of depth in these white pine stands. The trees are so tall, and the woods adopt a stillness. It is like a chapel.

I first saw the owl high in the trees, far off, with that distinct shape. I have seen him close up too--covered in fluffy grey feathers, as wide as my car when his wings were spread, silent as the woods when flying, even from very close. It was a gift, one that I treasure. I do hope this owl
has little ones to nurture in the spring?

Gifts of living Unexpected and Unearned

2010-09-28T14:16:00.000-05:00

It's been so fun watching Paul reopen his darkroom and dust off the cameras. We've been going on dates and both bringing the tools of our art, my paints and paper, his camera and film. I've enjoyed the togetherness, working on things, making images in good company. We've also been discussing our surprise at seeing one another's growth as artists, considering our long hiatus from working on our art. I think though our technical skills have stalled--and we pick them up where we left off, or with a little catching up to get back to where we were--the other parts our ourselves have continued to grow, even when we weren't making much art. Our eyes, the way we look at and process what we see, grow of their own accord. We pick up our tools and are amazed to find we have new resources at our disposal!