The Furnace of my being

Never Judge a Book by its Cover

2024-01-28T17:23:00.000+05:00

Never Judge a Book by its Cover He was limping around on his crutches and in rag tag clothes, that were dirty and torn from a few places. As expected, he was treated like a Begger...!! Perhaps he WAS a beggar, I thought, he would try to enter a shop and the shop keeper or his servant would say “Maaf karoo baba “, with his head hung down he would, try his luck at the next shop

At a few shops someone did give him some money, he said nothing, but with a cynic smile on his face put it in his rag tag pocket and moved to the next shop During the interim period after passing my Intermediates and waiting of admission in university. I used to loiter around and would often visit my father’s shop in Doodh Gali, Juna market, main attraction “Chanps” [Spareribs] Just opposite Nigar cinema, there was this hotel, whose specialty was these “Chanps” and with Nan and raita with generous doze of Salad with it, they were my favorite’s I was watching him, absent mindedly, then he came to our shop and entered it, our sales man was about to shoo him off, my father gestured him to do nothing, the man hesitatingly stepped in and finding no negative reaction, couraged himself to the Product shelves, our sales man was again about to say “we do not retail and ours is a wholesale shop” but again my father gestured him to stay quiet The man looked back, first at the salesman then at my father and then turned back to the shelf, picked up a product and looked back at my father, without saying anything my father quoted the price, he considered it and then put it back and moved to the next product. He did so for a number of products, he would pick the product and enquiringly look at my father and he would simply quote the price without saying anything else. Then he came to my fathers table and dragged the chair and sat himself on it. My father still said nothing and I kept looking at him He then took out a worn torn piece of paper from his pocket and looked intently at it, and gave it to my father. My father looked at it, and on a piece of paper, started scribing something, once looking at his paper then writing on his paper, then gave both the paper back to him He put his list back in his pocket and looked at the paper my father has written, intently, and then in an arguing tone said to correct it. My father took it back, re-examined it and then gave it back and said, everything is correct. He pondered on it, took his piece of paper out from his pocket looked at it, and then as if satisfied, bought out his purse, took out some Rs 10,000 from it and gave it to my father, and again took out another paper, and said, this is the transport address, I will collect the bilty in around 2 hours Its only then I realized he has just purchased around Rs 10,000 worth products from us, mind you in current terms it would be around Rs 1 Lac. Then he slowly stood up from the chair, and with no worry on his face, went down the street, I went after him, he trudged, rather dragged him to the corner of the street, stopped, took out the sympathy money given to him by the shopkeeper and without counting, put them in the donation box of some Madrassa there without counting. Its then I realized and learned a lesson again, i.e. never to judge a book by its cover. Later that night, on our dinner table I asked my father how did he knew that he was a trader, my father looked at me, and said, while he was young and struggling as a trader, he used to visit various cities for his order, and at small town in interior Sindh he saw a similar shopkeeper sitting in a shop .so when he saw him, his immediate thoughts were, perhaps its him. But no, he was not that shopkeeper. He was a trader from Multan. Later I moved to Lahore, but whenever I visited back, and went to my father’s shop, I would often find Bilties with his name on it, that were to be posted. So, he had become our regular customer, I looked in the debit ledger and there was very little amount against his name, so he was a good customer. In our trade it was normal to be a payment at late as three months, but his was hardly two or three weeks late.

2022-10-12T15:31:00.004+05:00

Jugni Revisited

Jugni is a genre of Music unique to Punjab and Punjabi music , and amazingly its origin are in resistance , not just love and folk lore ..

Though the legend has that it too started with the same love and separation story of a young Punjabi girl ,who separated from her love and went in search for him , and became a Jogan , sadly she never found him , but this lead to the creation of this Unique genre of Jugni , for according to Jamil Ahmed Paul , this Mutiyaran became a Joggan and then Jugni

Where Jugni is the narrator and sing whatever she sees or feel about any event , place or anything.

the next link is about it being related to resistance and revolution , it is said , during the rebellion [ 1857…?? ]

rebel soldiers going from Jehlum to Sialkot , they fought against General Nicolson’s army , and crossed “ “ Bastar “ and "Jugni of Gadar " was probably the first Jugni sung in praise of those resistance soldiers

Meri jugni da dhaaga ik
ais ney phaDh layii hath vich itt
maarey wereyaan sey sar khichh
O bhai mereya jugni o!
O sher mereya jugni o!
Meri jugni dey dhaagey do
saadey seenay andar lo
hunn jo hoye so ho
O bhai mereya jugni o!
O sher mereya jugni o!
Meri jugni dey dhaagey tin
tuun gorey ley hunn gin
naaley haarH tey naaley sin
O bhai mereya jugni o!
O sher mereya jugni o!
Meri jugni dey dhaagey chaar
farangi nahin kissey dey yaar
aes nu khichh key neeza maar
O bhai mereya jugni o!
O sher mereya jugni o!
Meri jugni dey dhaagey punj
gorey gaye bister lungh
saadi sadaa hoye gi jung
O bhai mereya jugni o!
O sher mereya jugni o!

But it were Bhishna and Manda who popularized it , they were actually following the British Coronation celebrations probably of 1901 or 1906..?? , soon they separated themselves from the official celebration and started singing revolutionary ideas and used it for the criticism of British Govt , This did not go well, with the British Government and at Gujranwala on charges of rioting both of them were imprisoned. History has, they were killed during police interrogations and torture

here is an example of their original verse

Their one original 'Jugni-verse' is like this:

Jugni jaa varhi Majithe
koi Rann na Chakki peethe
Putt Gabhru mulak vich maare
rovan Akhiyan par Bulh si seete
Piir mereya oye Jugni ayi aa
ehnan kehrhi jot jagaee aa

Initially because of it being in Punjabi , British could not understand it , but soon realized what was happening so they were banned them from performing in these Celebrations , but Bhishna and Manda started following the celebration but performing at some distance from the official celebrations , where people started to talk openly about the British atrocities , thats when they were charged ,imprsioned and then tortured to death

It got its sufi/religious angle when Alam Lohar included the “ Naam Ali da Leyndee aa “ in it … but its not confined to religious angle only

, though honestly Alam Lohar was not the only one , nor the first ,

Here is a " Mohammadi Jugni " by Haji Charagh din Jokhiawala ...

It got its sufi/religious angle when Alam Lohar included the “ Naam Ali da Leyndee aa “ in it … but its not confined to religious angle only

, though honestly Alam Lohar was not the only one , nor the first ,

Here is a " Mohammadi Jugni " by Haji Charagh din Jokhiawala ...

Kya sohni jugni aeh jag tuuN niraali
Rab ney banaya tainuuN umtaaN da waali
tere dar tuuN muDey nah koi khaali
kaali kambli tey soorat muzammali
nah jaye sathooN sumbhli
Nabi ji mere jugni, Nabi ji meri jugni

Now Jugni is not just a Tappa genre , it’s a complete new form

To Explain this I will post a few Examples , Like a said Jugni is a Narrator , who sings her observations it always starts with " Jugni ja wari .... " or " Jugni ja pohunchee ..."

Here is an example my late mother gave me

Jugni ja wari Multan

Othey waday waday pehlwan

Marran mukk tey Kadhan Jaan

Here is another example ...

Jugni jaa varhi Ludhiane
Uhnun pai ge Anne Kaane
Maarn mukkian mangan Daane
Piir Mereya Oye! Jugni kehndi aa
Jehrhi naam Ali da laindi aa

the beginning of 'Jugni' always remained in some city or place:

Jugnis are written on every aspect of Life ..

Here is an example of Jugni sang during Indo-pak war of 1965

Veer mereya O jugni kehndi aey

Jugni diyaan gallaan sachiyaan nay.n
Ghazi diyaan shanaan uchiyaan nay.n
BaazaaN nay chiRyaan buchiyaan nay.n

Veer mereya O jugni kehndi aey

Eh Jugni Pakistan di aey
Eh rajj ke mojaan maan di aey
Eh haami pak Quran di aey

Veer mereya O jugni kehndi aey

Eh Jugni lakh crore di aey
Eh dushman da sirr torr di aey
Kaafir da beda bod di aey

Here is an example of Jugni used as a satire

Jugni jaa waDi madrassay
‘muNDe chukk kataabaaN nasse’
Munshi raah vich tanbaa kassay
O veer mereya jigni o!
Jugni jaa waDi si Rohi
JuttaaN phaD suhaagay joi
othey ro ro kamli hoi
O veer mereya jugni o!
Jugni jaa waDi phadHaney
adhay ganjey andhay kaaney
sirroon nangey pairoon langHaaney
saayn mereya jugni aDey paii
dehooN chaDey tey kalma paDey paii

I have used various sources and am especially in debt to Mr Shiraz Hasan

https://kafila.online/2011/05/07/who-killed-jugni-shiraz-hassan/

Also some one who writes with the pen name " Kudi Nepal de "

http://punjabijanta.com/lok-virsa/the-history-of-jugni-76669/msg810528/?PHPSESSID=lsiff8dcgnbgl66gmhuca80ok5#msg810528

Also a few articles on quora

and my own post on Jugni

http://afatqiamat.blogspot.com/2011/04/various-colors-of-jugni.html

Fareeb-e-zeest

2019-10-20T15:25:00.000+05:00

Hum Sarab basti key Ashifta Sir Loog ....
Ik Jugnu Jalta hey hamaray takhiyul keh rah guzr meen

Tanhai ki awaz ko kitney loog sun saktey heyn...?
Jo sun leyn , unki manzileen alag , rastey alag , peyrahan alag , duniya alag

Rangreza , ub reyza reyza hey ...
Murshid siruf fana choor gayee ub

Wooh jo titlee key pr they rangoon bharey ...
ub to unsay rooh key beyronaki chalaktee hey

or phir ik mohyeeb tanhai , or aik cheekh
rastey zakhmoon pr namak ka marham
Koun janay kitney zakhm abhee baqi heyn
our teyray nishtr ke muskurahat ka sitam

Rag Taq Cricketer

2016-12-06T13:39:00.000+05:00

..I have not said much about my Cricketing career , except that I have played with Hakim Saeed sahib once..

..The Era in which I played cricket were crazy times , Lillie Thompson, Max Walker , Asif Masoof , Andy Roberts , Bob Willis along with Imran and Sarfraz were craze ..
I was never into bowling , but had this ability to bowl with both arms , and was good at copying styles , so in the practice sessions of our Team I would bowl with both Arms ...and copy the styles of Lillie , Thomspon ..and especially Asif Masood , his long run up , from near the boundary , with a signature one step backward and then coming diagonal and straightening up to fire up the bowl was my favorite ,I was never considered serious bowler maybe because of my copying.., I could also bat with both hands ie Left and Right , but was not much of a batsmen either , and here is the interesting part... though in the Nets I would bowl...but in actual matches I would keep the wickets ,I was good and daring at stopping balls , would stand up some times even to Fast bowlers, I was also into Statistics , so I kept a record of my team ,and my own , ..just yesterday , I found it ... and it amazed me I had more stumping then Catches ..!! in some 80-90 matches , of which I kept record spread over some 3-4 years , I did some over 100-110 Stumping and barely 11-12 catches or may be 20 , was not a good batsman , the highest I scored was some 50-52 runs may be twice.

That was a really crazy time , and I was crazy about playing , I had played along with Amin Lakhani the South Paw who did double hatick [ hatrick in each inning ] against the visiting Indian Team under Bedi , also along with Asif Mohammad the nephew of Hanif and cousin of Shoaib ....I was so crazy then even in the hot sultry May -June , on each Sunday or any holiday , when our team was not playing , I would pick up my kit bag [ my own keeping gloves and pads ] and wander from ground to ground ..and on 99 % of times would find some team Short of a player , especially when they find out that I had my own Kit Bag... I even once went along complete strangers to tour Hyderabad to play a match , unfortunately it rained and we could not play a single ball, ..we slept on footpaths that night , as traveling at nights was dangerous ..

Those were changing times for Karachi as well , in 72 Pakistan broke , then 79 Iranian Revolution , the USSR's Invasion of Afghanistan , ... a lot of influx of Immigrants in Karachi , that changed the entire nature of the city , a city that was once accommodative ....become a killing field .. but on that some other time..

Surpise

2016-05-09T17:33:00.001+05:00

I have been following Ilm deen for long , guess what...

I just found out , he has written his own blogs...

The Defeaming Silence ... [ Re=post ]

2015-07-26T14:12:00.001+05:00

Once you are alone with yourself. No one is near to you. You are sitting all alone in a crowded room full of strangers, acquaintances, passersby and what not. It’s a small now nearly lost Iranian Tea House, just opposite Syed Manzil or is it not Iranian any more..??

I looked around …on the traditional counter the man was certainly not Irani, some local but the tea, it still had remnants of Old irani aroma, the half-cuttings, the cuttings, the pepper mint….. No they were not there, But the rounded sweet Jars were…behind the counters were stacks of Biscuits, 50:50, Zeera plus, and some unknown brand of coca-nut flavor and what that…?

In the Lime light were Packets of Sathi, a lost cause for the massive Population Welfare Department., They say they have some how dragged the population growth rate from 3.1 to 2.9 percent. Bangladesh had brought it down to about 1.8 in less time…

The Old radio …or was it a tape recorder was blurting out an old Lata’s Goldies….

It seemed strange at a place, so noisy, and full to hear a soft song….. One cannot even hear what was she singing….Just a tune and sweet crooning was all one could hear.

… On the Next table with a marble top, they still have those Marble top small tables with four trademark chairs once familiar in all the Iranian Hotels in Karachi, A beggar sat down with a thud, the Bar Wala Boy pounced on him….But he curtly ordered a tea and some biscuits. The Bar wala boy … cursing him silently …went away to get his tea and biscuits… and within a jiffy came back… and nearly threw the stuff at him.

The beggar non-challantly ignored his misconduct as if he is used to such a behavior and spurred his tea… Spurred…? What is spurred…. one might ask…. well if you pour your tea in the plate and then try to drink in with lips closed… you will make a spurring Noise….Spur…slurpppppp…slurpppp…. slurpppp and within minutes he poured the whole hot content into his egar empty belly….and biscuits he put them in his Alms’ bowl ….and howled for the Bar Wala Boy Again…. as if he is in too hurry….

Bar Boy….. Gestured him to go to the counter….and hollered…. Chey Rupeeya….. (6 Rs) the beggar dragged himself unto the counter…. with an innocent look as if to ask for alms.

Then from within his Sudri…. (A small piece with pocket in it) took out a bundle of Notes… all Rs 1000, 500, many of Rs 100, and Rs50, they must be of more then… Rs 10,000 denomination…. took out an Old checkered Rs 10 … and placed onto the counter …the manager took hold of the Rs 10 Note…speculated on it…and then poured out some coins in the plate….But By then …the beggar was gone ….waving his Hand ….and pointing to the Bar Wala Boy…. as if asking him to collect his tip from there………. And again I was engulfed by the deafening silence of self. In the crowded room filled with strangers, passersby, acquaintances…. A Bus blurted its Horn somewhere on the road…..

… And the Life moved on…….leaving me all alone again…..

PS [ The orignal was posted on 18 April 2010 This is a Re-post as Blogger some how deleted that ... this is from my personal back up ]

Ilm Deen Again

2015-05-17T14:30:00.000+05:00

Last week I met that Beggar Contractor at the beach , with his Kid , he was using his own Kid as his " machine " ..but perhaps last week , the inner father in him woke up and he took his kid to beach , not as a machine / contractor ...but as a father /son .. i don't know about them how they felt... the kid definitely seemed to have the time of his Life , so i guess his father too would have had a different experience , I for sure was filled with a sacred light of happiness... while coming back to my Khooli , I thought i saw Ilm deen ... then wondered all the way back , where was he , how was he ...and what latest on him...

Ilm Deen [ fictitious name of a REAL person ] , has been grinding his Life for the past , God knows how many years , I have seen a very healthy , upright , honest , likeable and always smiling and helpful person turn into a shadow of himself , right before my eyes within a few years
..he had an accident and that turned his life upside down , every one started abandoning him , first his luck and with it his wealth , then his relatives , then his co-leagues , then his Wife and his children , then his brother , then his Parents , and the guy for no apparent fault of his own , getting burden after burden of harshness on his shoulder ... his is a very common story , spread all around us, yet we immersed in our own world , dont' see it ... perhaps there is no shock value in such stories , so we do not take any interest in it..

Any way ... I was thinking about him ... and two days later I did find him , sitting alone , like always on his usual place at his usual hotel , Quetta Talash hotel , there was a cup of tea in front of him ... I approached him , we exchanged pleasantries and i sat beside him ., I had a long hard discreet look at him , trying to see any change ..Yes , his cloths were clean , well ironed and he was wearing them regally as always , don't know he has an air of regalilty about him , which would always remind me Henry Wolton's famous poem , we used to study at school...
.....

" .....this Man is free from Servile Bands
Of hopes to rise or Fear to fall ."
Lord of himself , though not of Lands
and having nothing yet hath all .... " .

.......

... this is something that is common between him and me , thats why i always relate to him, somehow......... I think ....!!

..any way , I asked how is life .... and he in a nonchalant way   said .. the same   " Cruel " ... then a hint of a sarcastic smile appeared on his lips , but he controlled it ...
.. I kept silent ...
..he too ... we both remained silent for quiet some time... then he said ... you know , my brother too has cheated me . I kept silent .   then he went on and said...    My father gave my brother Power of Attorney to our house for Tax purposes , he was getting old , and i was not in Karachi , and there were some legal matters with House Building Corporation as well as other Utility companies , I did not knew it... you know I don't live at our house , just go in the night to sleep there , that all , ...
Then one day he said ., Pack up we are moving ..and then it revealed to me , that he has silently without telling any one sold the house , my father and mother are in old age   .and completely dependent on him , beside my mother too helped him , she was the one who gave him the Property documents , without telling any one , not even my father ... we knew only when , he told us to Pack ....
....and from a 684 Yards nice open air and good house , he moved us to a , what he says is 200 yards , but i figure it is hardly 120 yards house in Clifton
... my father , who is in his often not in his senses , some how mustered courage and asked him , how has he sold the house , without telling any one...??
... he did not answered that ... he did not tell ... for how much he has sold the house ...and in how much he has bought that 120-200 yard thing ...
all he said , whatever I got from the sale of that large house , all of it is used up in buying this crap ...
... I was shocked .... it hit me like a hammer , so the homeless guy was homeless again.... , I looked up to him ...and asked , why didn't you did any thing....
..he remained silent .... silent for a long time... then said... for whom ... should i do any such thing ... I have no nothing , no family , no home , ...even my mother always sides with my brother , and for whom should now I do any such thing....
.. I said for your self , or for you parents... !!

he said , Parents...? i am a realist ... in my present situation all i need is one dingy mattress to sleep on ... I earn my own , am not burden on any one , my wife has left me , and me with working all day out , I cannot take care of my parents.... at the moment its him who keeps them , feeds them , ..and take a bit of care of them ..... yes this is life .... he found the apportunity to strike and he did.... this is the price he has extracted ....!!

...then before i could say anything... stood up and went away ......

..and All i could do was ............... Nothing .. with lots of unanswered questions crawling all over my mind ...

And he was the Man [ 3 ]

2015-05-15T13:35:00.000+05:00

I was wandering on the beach , it was crowded , though Thursday , but crowded , a lot of peoples , all kinds , all shapes , all ages , single , couples , with families ,without families , rich , poor , middle class , with their own transport or without it were there .. each immersed in his own world , his own universe , barely aware of others around him , enjoying or trying to enjoy ., some were there to just have a good time , some like me to escape , escape from the harshness of life , sitting beside the waves or , sitting in the waves , some having a bit of snacks and then carelessly throwing the garbage around , other just sitting or walking along the beach , in the water and looking in particular no where like me

..then suddenly my eye caught attention , it was a man , he was playing with a child , the child does not appeared normal , he had a bit of sling in his leg , but seemed happy , very very happy , splashing in water , trying to run , then falls and laugh at himself , at his own fall , and then would try to run again and deliberately fall just to laugh at himself , he was soaked in water , but seemed to enjoy it , his father had sometimes a concerned look , at other time happy , Happy for his child being happy , and showing a mocking anger and asking his child to be careful .... but the child would act as is ignoring him ..and playing his own run and fall game ...
...I looked intently at his father , he looked familiar , I tried to remember , now where have I seen him ..?? . in the mean while , the child had a sudden rush of energy and ran straight to him , with such force ....that his father too fell .... the shock of such sudden rush of energy shocked his father ...and for a moment he seemed lost.... child suddenly became a bit scared.... for he has just pushed his father to fall .... then the man came out of shock .... and feeling his own situation , ..looked at his child.... then seeing the shadow of fear in child's eye .... stood up.... and laughed , a sudden sigh of relieve appeared in child eyes ....and he again rushed toward him and tried to push him down ,pushing his leg ...... the father sensing his effort , deliberately fell down and they both laughed .... a father son hearty laugh
...and my mind wandered ... now where have i seen him... !! ..the man looked around and sensed me looking at him ... at the same moment , I looked at him .... and in a flash I recognized him
...he was the man , who was in charge of all those beggars , .the one he called his machines ..... he would bring them every morning ... my mind flashed ..... and a thought , kind of doubt rose his ugly head in my mind ........ could this be his own child ... the one us himself would set at some road corner to beg ....??
..the child would earn for him ....and he would take care for him.... not as a father , but as a caretaker of other beggars ..his machines .... and then collect them in the evening with thier earned income , ... but today he was not the caretaker , or contractor ...but rather a father ... treating his own son , ...may be to a holiday .... from the begging job .... my eyes met his , a dim spark of recogniation came into his eyes.. I approached him ... smiled and asked.... your child ..? he remained silent , perhaps deliberating in his mind , should he answer me or not ... or who am I ?, and why am I asking this question .?.. but then he relaxed ... perhaps recognized me ... and said ... yes... ..then looked back at his child and gently said ..... " Sarfraz lets go .... " .... the child wanted to play more ... but he firmly held his hand .... and as soon he held his hand .. the child who was so bubbly and happy and playiful ... became obedient .......and simply walked , no dragged himself along side him , without saying another word ... he then stopped at a khooka .... and brought some candies and a packet of chips ... child's face lit up again ..

...and they then walked to the same wagon , which was now kinda familiar to me , in which he would bring his machines every morning .... and drove away ...
... I kept looking his way .... and turned around ... for the sun was about to set ... and setting sun in the waters of Arabian Sea on Clifton beach , dirty ugly beach , unclean beach ...is one good sight .... but today the beach did not looked dirty to me.... instead if was glowing .... glowing with the love of a father for his child ... I felt a certain invisible light al around me ... looked around , and heaved a sigh .....
For a fleeting moment i thought i saw Ilm deen there too ..... then shrugged ...and sat there for god know how long ... till that light of fathers love for his child dimmed in me....

..The Long Wait ....

2015-05-12T14:17:00.002+05:00

Complaining again ...?... you ungrateful thing...

..sigh ... this is what I tell myself whenever , my heavy heart forces me to shed down some burden ...

Last night .. I took the last coach , and fortunately it dropped me near the sea ... it was kind of deserted so i wandered down to the water .....and sat there on the wet sand .... then cursed myself that I will have to wash my cloths now , because it was wet .
and then immersed my feets in the waves , closed my eyes and tried to think of God . in the hope that may , just may be , he will appear out of no where when no one is around and at least listen to me...

..then I felt , the waves are trying to say something to me , gently knocking on the door of my soul , I kept my eyes closed and tried to listen .
... i thought they were trying to say , that i should tell the God about my miseries , about my problem , about the nearly monolithic perpetual state of Pain I am in , I felt my heart opening , but it was too dark , only the waves and their sound ...
so I asked why ..? why am I being tried , and tried for so long , the cruel heart of mine laughed .. because you are always complaining , I asked for how long will this continue , he laughed again , and said ...as long as he likes .
...then it said , your miseries are nothing , compared to some others so forget about them ...beside he is busy and not interested in your miserable always whining and crying , you are alive , you should be grateful for that ,.... I said and what about him being merciful ....... and in response , it just laughed and laughed and laughed ....and in that laughter , another laugher merged .. these were the waves , now laughing along him ...

..and with heavy heart , I stood up ... and walked and walked and walked , all the way , some 4-5 kilometers back to my Khooli .... that night while sleeping on the roof , for its too hot , even the fan throws flames instead of air , beside the Bill , Last months Electric Bill , ....why do they always increase the electricity rated in summers...??
..any way ... while on the roof , and looking at the half burned mosquite coil , I looked up , beyond the floating clouds , there were stars ....far far away stars .... looking down at me , with contempt ...and laughing
..Sigh .. i guess i cannot do anything else , except bear it out , for as long as he want , i am kind of his game ..and he loves my miseries and enjoys them , for it being too long 18 plus years , and 8 years since i had a decent meal , a decent home cooked meal ... and i feel a sleep ...

Rambling of a Mad Man .............. more on Dreams

2014-08-30T20:58:00.001+06:00

...During Dreaming we traverse the boundaries of Universe which are outside the normal Space-Time continuum ... the ordinary laws of space time do not act there....
...Scientist who measure Dreams ..through various Physical instruments ...are probably looking at the wrong side... though it too gives clues ...
...but during dreaming ...though a man is physically in this world...but ..some where in the mind it opens door ...a door where probably .. he gets out of the box....and see thing in their actuality ...now with no restriction or restrain on the laws following time-Space laws...he often sees the future as well as past or some other dimension or existence .....
...but then he is not physically present there...and his normal 5 senses are probably not working ...so the information that his mind now gets from Other senses ...which somehow get invoked or start working albeit temporarily ... his mind infers the perceptions according to the physical program of his mind... his mind is not programed to understand all the new realities he sees or experiences now... ..then there is return back journey .. during which he has close too many doors.. and with each door or perception closed again...he begins to forget.. and when he wakes up...
...all that remains is a ' Reshimo " ...a lingering remembrance of what he saw... and often again wrapped behind the closed doors...
...as again all those senses of perception became in operative...his minds fails to understand them .. " the chip loses electricity ...and all the info remains is just a distorted memory .."

Rambling of a a Mad man ..............Dreams

2014-08-30T15:25:00.001+06:00

Dreams...
... we exist at many layers of existence ..the physical and the apparent one is the one which is all around us...
... but a part of us ... traverses those layers....and is influenced by whats happening in those layers.... often those layers are invisible ...
...Dreams are one of such means.. [ Our Imagination is the other ] .... through which we Know that other such layers exist... its during dreams... we see and visualize often things ... that would otherwise be hard to even imagine...
...my own take ... Dreams a door.... a door where , various realms of existence converge... when we enter the dream world...what we see is real.... which often distorted out..when we come out of the dream state... .. like ... when we wear glasses... we see what our vision shows us through those glasses.... for example if we are wearing RED colored glasses... every thing will appear RED ... though in reality it might not be.... but for dreams its not that simple its not just the RED glasses....its the layers as well... which we cross while in the dream state... which each layer.....things get distorted according the properties of that layar.... so when we come out of dream state...all we remember mostly are impressions.... not the real actual things we had seen in the dream state...
... i know its heavy ... but think about it... and you will understand..
=============================
Do read other parts too for continuity ...

Rambling of Mad Man .... Our Senses

2014-08-29T14:39:00.000+06:00

.. Our Senses....

we have 5 physical senses of perception [sight -/-hearing-/-taste-/-smell and touch ] ... though honestly we cannot see them... but they are our windows to the reality around us...
Imagine ... a person having only three ... lets say ..he does not have the sense of smell and sight... then if someone gives him something... say for example a Rose flower.... he would try to listen ...but won't get a response... touch ...and maybe the thorn will hurt... will try to taste...and gets a pungy taste....so he will conclude that its something not good...then imagine ..his other senses...the senses of smell and sight are restored....
...he then smells...it smells good... his perception changes... and when he sees.. the beautiful flower... it completely alters...
...so the reality ...changes... as his number of senses of perception changes....
think...if we had more than 5 senses... then what would happen.....of course...the entire reality will be altered....
....now some say we have a sixth sense.... true.... I think ... that sixth sense is the lumsum of all the other unknown senses of perception ..which we have ...but for some reason ...they are either not activated or not realized... or we don't know how to make use of them...
..... more on it later...

Rambling of a Mad man ....Who ../What../ Why ..?

2014-08-28T16:42:00.002+06:00

..There was nothing but the Light , clear , pure light..... Creator perhaps got bored...he wanted to know about himself... for in the absence of " Difference " .. you cannot know ...for example you need darkness to know about light , Lie to know about truth , white to know about other colors...etc.etc.etc...so you need " Difference " ...
so Perhaps he created a " Difference " to know about himself... and in creating the " Difference " a portion of light was displaced.... and in that displaced portion he created...what we know as " Universe " ...all the Galaxies /planets/ life / different objects/ forces ...both visible and invisible., the knowns and the unknowns .. and then it created the " interplay " ...the interplay between his creation .... and that is what propels the Universe.... the known as well as unknown Universe...
...and Perhaps ... in creating that " Difference " he has to use some of the " Soul " ..the Soul of Universe.... the Soul which got corrupted ... and now needs to be purified again.....
... More on it Later ...in the same series... " Rambling of a Mad Man " .... keep tuned and wait for next part..

Rambling of a Mad man ... Intro..... The Reshimo

2014-08-27T18:02:00.000+06:00

One spark of his essence , created the Universe .

..from it the soul was created , a creature by the creator . so that the creator can enjoy his creations.
Bestowal is the only quality of the creator , creature yearns to achieve that quality , so as he be the same as the creator . ....this yearning is the result of the fall of ADAM , and that fall is not just physical , its spiritual ....
...the lingering remembrance of his own exalted STATE , when he was in the essence of creator , is the force that creates the unsatisfactory state he feels , even if he gets all the world.
creature is unaware of that Rishimo , for that reshimo is from a STATE which is beyond the physical or corporeal existence .
to recognize even the existence of such a STATE , creature has to find ways , to perceive the existence of the essence .
thats where creature's altruistic as opposed to Egoistic nature come into play.
All religions are restrictive , possessive and exclusive , spiritualism is not ....so spare me " The Religion " .... mine is bigger then yours is just rehotoric with ulterior motives . the result of which has colored RED the annals of history.......... period.
.if you have the yearning to taste the bouties of HIS bestowal , then your heart is the gateway , it has a small door ,a desire , based on the lingering remembrance of your own exalted state , find it .....!!
and ask for removal of those obstacles which are between your prayers and his bestowal.
Adam fell ,because it crossed a barrier , the eating of forbidden fruit is allegorical , and the result is a spiritual fall .
the physical manifestation of which are we , ...the carrier of empty vessels , yearning with the desire to fill it again with the bounties and bestowal of his essence , only we do not know .
Religions actually divert , ...not with standing the claims of showing the true path.
had this been so , others who are outside the formal religion would not have achieved the exalted states ,they did....
the search for truth , leads from your heart , not mind , mind seeks reasons and narrows you away from the truth.
the collective soul of the mankind , progresses in stages , the screens and the barriers are the cause of all that is evil , these screens and barriers are put their by the Egos . ...the " I"'s the " we's " .....formal religion augment those I's and we's ....and trap you ...in an illusion away from reality.

More on Ilm Deen

2014-08-20T16:22:00.003+06:00

Aaah Ilm Deen Again...

..its after a very long time I saw him... every time I see him , I get depressed ...it is depressing to see him suffer and suffer and suffer without any respite for god knows what... !!
.... I have heard , he is being cheated by his brother and big time... see their father for some reasons gave the power of attorney to his younger brother for legal reasons... as Ilm din had moved to Lahore and was not here... and there were legal matters regarding the Loan on their house , so his brother was given the power of attorney ...

....now years later , about two three months ago... his brother on that power of attorney sold the house ... and brought a new one at a new location and had it transferred in his name....

Ilm Deen we know is living a nearly broke existence ... barely surviving on his own of daily wages...so

..then there is another real problem... the Mother and the father.... at the moment his brother is keeping them ....though in a small dingy room and giving them what he calls meal ...and a shelter... Mother and Father are not in a state to suffer .. father nearly out of his senses...and mother old ,fragile and weak...
..this is the main point on which his brother is blackmailing and browbeating with out any regard... Ilm deen cannot take them with himself....as he does not have a home... Wife and Children have left him ... and no body really cares about him or his whereabouts and how is he living .. and in what condition ... all his friend have proven to be fair weather friends only... Me too... though have tried to help him ...But I have my own limitations ... I myself am a lone man .... and he has Flatly refused any of my what little help I have offered him ...its his pride ..his Ego ... which he calls his principals...
.. Ilm deen spends almost all of his time outside ...even when he is jobless.. he will often sit at some bus stop ..for hours ...and then late at night would go to the small dingy room ..his brother has given him to spend the rest of his life...

...This is a Real life unfolding story ..

cannot take any legal actions against his brother for two reasons... one ..he is broke and cannot afford the lawyers fees...for now and for later perusal , as we all know such cases drag on for years and years and years... and are not given justice ..except to those who can buy Justice.

Season of Muslamization

2014-06-08T19:39:00.000+06:00

..kal assi market gayee tey pata chaliyaa keh musalmaniyaan da mousum shiroo hoo geyaa hey .... Ramzanaan ich 20 din reh geay heyn.....

phir sanoon pakka pata chaliyhaa jadoon , dukandar ik haftay ich Rs 10 da muslamaan nazr ayaa........ haftay pehlay hi 500 ml dee bootel Rs 35 dee hai .... feyr Rs 5 dee musalmani hoyee .... tey hun Rs 45 dee hey .... yani Rs 10 dee musalmani hoo chuki hey .... tey ajn 20 din baqi heyn.......!!

....Sach hey ......asee koi Kafir thoori heyn .... jeyrey apny tehwaraan tey Qeemataan kam kariyee.....!!

...Tehwaraan tey Qeematan karn daa riwan sirj Kafiraan da hey .... per assi Kafir naheen .....

....Assi Qeemataan kam ker key Kufran-e-naimat naheen kar sakdey ....

Crude English Translation :

Season of Muslamization

.... yesterday I went to the market , and realized the the season of Muslamizaiton has started ... around 20 days are left for Ramzan ....!!
..then this was confirmed when I realized shopkeeper is Muslamzied by Rs 10 within a Week..... see..... 500 ml Bottle was a week ago Rs 35 , then it was muslamized by Rs 5 / at Rs 40 ....and now with Rs 45 it is Muslamized by Rs 10 ..... and yet there are around 20 days left for Ramzan ....!!

.... its True we are not Kafirs... infildels..... its only the Infidels and Kafirs who reduce prices on their religious /festive occasions ...!!

....Reducing prices on religious /festive occasions is the tradition of Kafir /infidels ......and we are not one of them....

and also ..... by reducing prices we would be showing " Nashukra Pan " ...to the bounties of Creator ...

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Brief Update

2014-05-21T18:38:00.000+06:00

Brief Update

My Landlady , Amma Bi has sold her house , she is in the process of shifting to somewhere else... till then

Bas Saday haq ich dua karoo ..

Getting torm apart

2014-05-13T18:31:00.002+06:00

These days I am going through severe personal conflicts , that are within me , invisible , .and they are tearing me apart , the conflicts are at a deeper level , questioning my very existence , even the reason for existence .
a whirlpool of powerful forces dragging me into different directions , I am trying to get out of their reach , because I know once I am caught into them , it will only end up as madness , and I don't want that .

Madness that will be destructive for me , whatever little semblance of sanity I have left in my outer demeanour will shred my soul irrevocably

i have and am trying to divert my attentions to other trivial but kinda engaging activities ..... but then suddenly out of no where , like a bolt and inner conflicts in me strike ,... I go numb , suddenly every thing become uninteresting ....I don't know how I keep my demeanour , the outer appearance ...

these conflicts are because of a deep personal nature , I don't think any body can understand them , or even is willing to understand them ... life is too busy .... one moment is a precious moment , not to be wasted ....

perhaps ..............perhaps .... when I retire ... I may find someone .... equally alone ....like me

.....
tut geya ik bandhan dhagey toun wee jo kachca see.
khuch ta tha oo , keh na howan to achcha see...

What ..?

2014-01-27T19:37:00.003+06:00

Today 27 Jan 2014 is my birthday , today I have lost one more year of my life ,and gained one more year of my life ,usually on my birthday colleagues at my office contribute and bring a cake , my Seth a young man , treats me with respect and I have no other responsibilities except what ever I think would fancy me on that day , so on days I act as chowkidar , sit on his stool all day , on other day I simply occupy the manager chair , and because of my Seth , they complain but only to themselves as I intrude on their Job responsibilities , but the Seth respects me so much , so they cannot do anything about it , except bear me , ………and now after years , I am just an eccentric entity somewhat colorful , but at time dangerous for I do not want to brag , but I have gone god damn honest , I do not take any wages , except daily wages and only for the work I do , so If I work 2 hrs I ask for 2 hrs of wages , and if 8 the 8 hrs of wages ,Seth has many time tried to fix something Monthly , but I have strongly refused .

I live a self imposed isolated existence , have leaved all and every one , after an accident which was the closest a man can get with death , infact I believe I had tasted death , as during that experience I saw my dead body with my own eyes , while hovering over , went through the proverbial “ tunnel “ spoke in some strange language with some unknown being and returned , and the next three months in the most tiring and trying circumstances .

Now I live an Old lady ,Amma Bi , who has graciously allowed me One room in her house , where all I have is a 12inch Fat Mattress , its good quality , for even years of use , sometime I laid on it for days…there isn’t a single dent in it , its still as smooth as new , two three pillow , around 6-8 dresses , one pair of shoes , one Chappal , another pair of kind open shoe , two towels , one Chair , a half table , a few books , one Rug filling all the room …..and I call this room my “ khooli “ … usually I go out around 12 am including Sundays …and return around 12 Pm , have breakfast as a local Pathan Hotel , and in the evening something as dinner , from Kathiwari chooleys , to Biryani , to Bun Kabab , to burger , to Chinese Rice , to Soups , to Bheel Puri , to Zinger , to Fish , to any thing that fancies me that day and is within my budget of that days wages , it’s a simple life , no complication , just bidding my time .

That one incident changed my life , from a pretty gregarious merry happy go lucky and Friend of every one kind , I shut myself down in my own cocoon of existence , an Isolated far away from every one , even my Family , my father , my mother , my wife , my children every one ,the reason is simple I feel betrayed , because in the most tiring circumstance , while after the accident , I lost every thing , my Business , money , and worst the trust in every one , and now I live all alone

I do not want to make any friends, though other try , but are stonewalled from my side , for I do not want myself to have any expectations from any one , often people are perplexed and now they have declared me eccentric , kinda mad , but that’s the way things are now …

I tried to get involved my myself only , and that is pretty selfish of me , but it’s a well considered , for some maybe wrong thing , but for me its what it is now , I know , when I will die , no one except may be Eidhi or some other similar organization will bury me , or maybe my family , for I have from then held no expectations from any one , and if any one tries to “ instill sense “ in me to return to normal life , he get the shock of his life , when I put him on the ignore list and ultimately his sympathy wave dies out and he leaves me alone .

Just out of boredom , I to preoccupy myself , without any commitment tried a hand at blogging , my blogs was in Roman Urdu , at one time it was pretty popular ,then I discovered my Punjabi Roots , and started seeing things in a new perspective , then it dawned on me , that the people around me , the Karachi people , the Urdu speaking people are the most racist and bigoted one , spare one or two , it led me to do a bit of research on my Punjabi origin and I discovered that we Punjabis are trapped in a deception , but that’s another story , since that day , I stopped writing blog in Roman Urdu ….and now its after Ages I have written anything for my blog

So this is something I have written after a very very long time …. And its not for any one , its just for myself…

Zakhm-e-Teyrgi

2012-10-09T17:29:00.000+06:00

meyray khaboon meen tumhari khusboo thee
or titlee key paroon per teyri shabhi thee.

dhanak key khush rang parahan meen
sat rangi see khushboo ki khushee thee.

tumharay pas joo qafs-e-zindan thaa
wooh paband-e-salasal zanjeer-e-ana tha...

is kitabi chehray per jo kahani thee wooh meyri thee.
phir us meen lagi wooh tasweer kiss ki thee..

teyri khushboo ka jhonkaa tha keh kiyaa tha
phir meyra jigar kiss shay say kata thaa...!!

ik lahak see thee , baynam khalish fizaoon meen
uski sans ki khusboo , jaltarang see thee hawaoon meen

woohi beyjan sa lasha thaa meyra
chekhta , chinghartaa , jan-kani key alam meen

loo phir moheeb pur-israr khamoshi
wooh keh gayee ,jo pinhan-e-israr thaa

meyray rangoon meen yeh siyah rang kiss ney bhara
wooh to sat rang dhanak key rang sath layee they..

Ilm Deen ka Almiya part 5

2012-06-30T20:43:00.002+06:00

A couple of day back , met Ilm-deen again , he is now a skeleton of what he was , his shirt and pant appeared loose on his once athletic figure . there were dark spots around his eyes , and was obviously in a depressed state .

he looked at me , empty mindedly , perhaps not even recognizing me , I went over to his table at the usual Quetta Talash Hotel , where I would see him often , sat beside him and asked him how he was ...

his empty eyes , looked at me as if trying to remember , then a little glint of recognition and in a voice which did not revealed his inner state , cordially asked me to sit .....then without asking me , ...ordered a cup of tea ....and just stared at me ...without saying anything ...

I asked him how he was , and he without hesitation as if mechanically answered he is alright and in the same breath asked about me ....

Actually I had heard a news , a news about his third daughter getting married , I was wondering whether he knew it or not , for he did not knew , or probably he was not told ,when they married Off his second daughter , and when I told him about his second daughter's marriage , ............his eyes went blank ..and a small tear appeared in some corner of his eye ...said nothing , ...gulped his tea and stood up and just went away .... with as straight and upright as one can be......but when he was outside the Hotel ....his shoulders and head dropped he walked away ..... as a broken man....

It pained me ....so now with the news of his third daughter too getting married , and finding myself again in the same position ..... of that a messenger of doom .... I could not muster courage .... all I could do was ask him again ...how is he.....?

..He sensed something in my voice ....and just looked at me ....first empty mindedly ...then a shadow came into his eyes , his whole face depicted a pang of pain , eyes dropped ....and he stood up .... stood there for an eternity ....shoulders dropped .....so did his head , turned around ..and started walking toward the door .

then stopped , turned back to me......and looked at me hard ......and murmured .....' so they have married away my daughter ....' .....!!

a wave of fear , went through my spine .... sort of a jolt , and I too stood up ....and just kept looking at him ...a ragging storm filled my head , I felt paralyzed , a small bead of sweat must have appeared on my forehead , for I have not told him anything , not even a hint , .... he must have seen them ....for a wry cruel smile came onto his lips .... he just nodded his head as is he understand , then with a twist of face ....just turned back and walked out ....

I went after him , and saw his shoulders straightening and his head raised again , as if with an effort he is trying to control his inner turmoil .........and then melted into the scene .

I just stood there ....

..that night I cried , i cried so much that my pillow was soaked in my tears....

Aah Ilm-din ... when will his miseries end , and for what God , if any such thing exists , is torturing him

why ...why why....? and i have no answer

Our Crosses

2012-05-05T17:25:00.006+06:00

This is not Mine , but from the iLogs of friend of mine , a lost friend
I normally do not write in English ...but still

Every One of US.
Carry his own cross...

the irony is.... We spend our whole life......constructing this Cross for ourself.

.....and in the End ..... when we our self are PUT on this CROSS... we exclaim.....WHY....??

...and Blame every One for the injustice being Done to our self.......!!

..But then...... No one CARES..... Every one is busy building his own cross......

Just pause for a moment.....take a second off ...your cross construction... Look Back... Look around You......
and you will Find EVERY ONE...... constructing his own cross...

But then When ONE’s Cross is complete..... they will JUMP up on the opportunity...... and Nail YOU to YOUR own Cross....

... your cries will fall on DEAF ears.....because then they will GET Back .......to Construct THEIR CROSSES...

.......I am about to Complete Mine.....!!......and Now the Shifty Uneasy Eyes Around Me are waiting ............

EAGERLY for the Opportunity.....!!!!.....to nail me to my Cross...

AKHLAQ AHMED - HAMRAHI AISI RAHON KE

2012-02-26T01:01:00.001+06:00

1st collector for AKHLAQ AHMED - HAMRAHI AISI RAHON KE
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FILM = MUSAFIR , VERY RARE SONG

Tribute to Akhlaq Ahmad on his 11th Death Aniversery on 4th August 2010

2012-02-23T01:00:00.001+06:00

1st collector for Tribute to Akhlaq Ahmad on his 11th Death Anive...
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Song: Hum Rahi Aisi Rahon ke
Singer: Akhlaq Ahmad
Lyircs: Obaidullah Aleem
Music: Sohail Rana
Film: Musafir (1976)

M.N.N. Communications Ltd.

2012 ki hamari salgirah

2012-01-27T20:09:00.000+06:00

aaj 27 January 2012 hey , aaj suna hey hamari salgirah hooti hey...

Aaj kafi loogon ney humeen salgirah ki mubarak bad dee hey , affice meen aik bar phir her saal ki tarha chanda ker kay hamaray liyee CAKE bhi ayaa , uskay sath chai bhi or samoosay bhi ... hasb-e-mamool Seth ney aik lifafay meen humeen Salgirah ka tohfa alag diyaa . aglay maheeney key khooli key kirayee meen kaam ayee gaa..... khuch loog mashqooq heyn key hamari salgirah hey bhi key naheen , hum ney bari himmat ker key apni Ami jaan ko phoone kiyaa ,unhoon ney bhi mubarak dee, or gilla kiyaa keh hum ub to ghar aa jayeen ,...hum chup say hi rehey ....phir hum ney apna sandooq khangaala us meen Muncipality ka hamara Birth certificate bhi rakhaa thaa , ooos per bhi yehi tarrekh hey or oos per sarkari dastakhat ba'ma afficer Babu ki mohr key moujood heyn , sath hi hamari kachi pehli ki report card bhi peree thee....oos per bhi yehi tareekh hey , oos per to hamary Head master sahib key dastakhat bhi heyn ....so yeh to yaqeen hey keh hamari salgirah aaj hi hey ....... baqi kitney sal key heyn hum.....to yaad ayaa aksr loog hamari bateen sun ker kehtey heyn .... abay juma juma aath din ki paidaish or aysee bateen...

Errr.......walah alam basawab

PS waisay hum ney aik najoomi say zaicha nikalwayaa thaa , errr....bulkey aik software key zariyee khud nikala thaa....us key mutabik hum 26 Jan ko raat 11 bj ker theek 24 minute per paida huway they.............. isee liyee ami kehtee theen keh hum raat ko 12 bajay paiday huway they....
Errr....phir wallah alam basawab.