The Gay Girls Guide

Gay Girls Guide Has Moved

info@gaygirlsguide.co.uk (The Gay Girls Guide) — Sun, 16 Jan 2011 11:34:27 PST

You'll still find us in the same place (these moves in cyberspace are so confusing) but you'll need to update your feed deatils etc. It might take an hour or so before this domain redirects you to the new site, so if you can't wait, you can access it through this link - www.gaygirlsguide.co

Any problems, just get in touch at info@gaygirlsguide.co.uk

Happy New Year Cartoon No. 80

info@gaygirlsguide.co.uk (The Gay Girls Guide) — Tue, 04 Jan 2011 08:09:47 PST

Happy New Year Cartoon No. 79

info@gaygirlsguide.co.uk (The Gay Girls Guide) — Fri, 31 Dec 2010 04:40:11 PST

All I want for Xmas. Cartoon No. 78

info@gaygirlsguide.co.uk (The Gay Girls Guide) — Fri, 24 Dec 2010 05:12:06 PST

Is This Romance? Cartoon No. 77

info@gaygirlsguide.co.uk (The Gay Girls Guide) — Sun, 19 Dec 2010 04:04:48 PST

Look Who's Stalking Cartoon No. 76

info@gaygirlsguide.co.uk (The Gay Girls Guide) — Sat, 18 Dec 2010 09:13:51 PST

View the first 75 here

Spread Some Gay Girl Joy This Holiday Season

info@gaygirlsguide.co.uk (The Gay Girls Guide) — Sun, 28 Nov 2010 07:01:44 PST

Nobody believes I’m gay!

info@gaygirlsguide.co.uk (The Gay Girls Guide) — Tue, 23 Nov 2010 04:20:00 PST

I pride myself on having a pretty well tuned gaydar. I even have the frequency set to pick up those silent little signals emitted by a woman with ‘a want’. As you get older, it becomes second nature to fine-tune it almost as a means of identification within the outside world, away from pubs, clubs, and cafes. Every lesbian knows that moment when something makes you lift your head and there’s a woman within eyeshot who’s giving you the almost obligatory nod-cum-half-smile of recognition. But for some strange reason, there’s a giantess-sized handful of gay women whose emitters seem to be switched off. No-body will believe that they are gay.

Lara, 31, explains: “Professionally, I do find it easier for people to assume I’m straight. I’m the Director of a national charity and have found that attitudes towards me and my work can change once people find out. It can prove awkward when an invitation arrives and people expect you to bring your partner. I’m proud to be a lipstick lesbian. My lipstick has actually become my trademark. My dress sense is also quite 'straight' - my job mandates this. Growing up in a small Virginia town, I was a debutante, sorority girl, and attended etiquette school. I think it would be difficult to go through all of that and not have it take some effect. My mother was very big on propriety and I guess old habits die-hard as they say.”

Many dykes (and I class myself with this bunch) find straight girls a huge turn-on. They want a woman who fulfils every stereotype they have come to believe represents the way a woman should look, but when a lesbian who meets these criteria steps into play, some dykes are finding their fantasies are a little more than they can handle. “I had a girlfriend several years ago that thought I looked and acted too straight and really gave me a lot of grief about it,” continues Lara. “I was desperate to prove that I was not just 'experimenting' and that I was sincerely a big ol' lezzer. I did my best baby dyke impression. I stopped wearing make-up, changed my hair, wore denim, and even stretched my wardrobe to include flannel! It did very little good and I still looked straight (and rather uncomfortable). It took time, but I learned the hard way that I just needed to be proud of who I was. It was definitely okay to prefer dresses, wear lipstick, and be gay!”

We all have our own set of expectations and limitations which are very bit as rigid as those we struggle to free ourselves from in mainstream society. While we challenge gender roles and definitions on a daily basis, we inflict them on those in our own community who choose to ignore the stereotypes and dress and act in a manner which makes them feel comfortable. We refuse to believe that a lipstick lesbian can be anything other than an experimenter, one who will always run back to men, pretty much in the same way we refuse to believe that Mel C is straight. We want people in their clearly-labelled compartments and are wary of those who step outside these refines. How many women have you met in your life that you dismissed as ‘curious’ or ‘confused’ or simply bisexual? How many of these women are still in relationships with women? I don’t know about you but that falls within the lesbian category in my book – no matter what they happen to be wearing at the time.

Lara adds, “Lesbians of my generation and older often think I am selling out. I have had some really nasty run-ins with the 'bra-burning' generation who feel that I give lesbians a bad name- real hostility. You can see them bristle as I walk in the room. Straight men are annoying. Once they find out, generally, their eyes glaze over and you know they are either imagining you with their wife or trying to figure out what it would take to put me 'on the turn' (and then ascertain if they have what it takes to get me there!). Straight women are usually absolutely fine...”

Lara isn’t alone. Many women find this a huge problem and all report similar experiences to Lara – being accused of experimenting, becoming the brunt of straight mens fantasies, and trying to change their image to fit with what a dyke is supposed to look like. Just ask yourself one thing the next time you dismiss a woman as straight merely because of the way she dresses – If dressing like a dyke doesn’t make you any less of a woman, why should dressing like a woman make you any less of a dyke?

Get Your Tits Out For The Girls

info@gaygirlsguide.co.uk (The Gay Girls Guide) — Mon, 22 Nov 2010 03:47:17 PST

For practically all our life, we have been forced to accept one of many dated notions – ‘You are woman, you must like penis!’ Throughout school, our phallic-obsessed society has taught us with implements and teaching aids all similar to the male penis – Psychology with Freud and his cigar (amongst other things), English and the classic ‘Moby Dick’, Film Studies with the ever-suggestive telephoto lens, Biology with its test tubes, and Physics with its vectors. It was just one big phallus-fest.

What did they forget? Well, they actually forgot a lot of things, but the one worth a mention was breasts. Tits. We all either have them or love them, not something the penis can claim by any stretch of the imagination. They are, without doubt, the female’s best attribute. Something which has generated so many nicknames must be popular! Jugs, boobs, rack, bosoms, knockers, hooters, twin-peaks, their majesties the prince and princess of Titalomia, the list is endless. Whatever you call them, not one of their names can be seen as truly derogatory, not in the way the vagina’s can. The vagina’s nicknames rank amongst the foulest of the foul when it comes to language.

Tits, they can be perfect or granny-like, but they will always be an attention-grabbing advertisers dream. How many penises have stopped rush hour traffic they way Eva’s Wonderbra-enhanced cleavage did? Only the ones walking along the middle lane of the M1 after one too many at lunchtime I bet.

And if breasts on their own weren’t enough, they come with the added bonus of nipples. Nipples, even the word sounds sweet and sexy, rolling of your tongue (and round it) with simplistic ease. They are divine, all pink and perky, and not an offensive nickname to be found anywhere. Nipples, provide the food of life, and they are, well, perfection. Even from birth we all instinctively know the great things which come from a nipple in your mouth. Name one fault with nipples, bet you can’t.

So lets hear it for tits. Let’s stop hiding them away beneath big woolly jumpers. Let’s redesign our educational system and make learning fun again. After all, what would rather look at or listen to – something that reminds you of the last chicken in the shop or something that was designed so perfectly, if it had a patent the manufacturer would be able to buy and sell Bill Gate’s ass a million times over?

Clit Hopper No. 3

info@gaygirlsguide.co.uk (The Gay Girls Guide) — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 12:20:00 PDT

Clit Hopper No. 3

info@gaygirlsguide.co.uk (The Gay Girls Guide) — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 11:11:00 PDT

Lip Service - Everything I feared The L Word would be

info@gaygirlsguide.co.uk (The Gay Girls Guide) — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 09:51:21 PDT

When the L Word was first announced I was afraid. I very rarely warm to lesbians on TV, they are false, walking stereotypes that make me cringe. Perhaps that's a reflection of my own insecurities, who knows. It took around four minutes for the L Word to win me over.

Sure, for 99% of the planet's lesbians it was an escape from reality and while there were issues that most women could identify with, their lifestyles put them very much 'out of reach.'

Then along came Lip Service, the UK's attempt at cashing in on the under-represented lesbian pink pound. It is everything I feared the L Word would be - crass, awkward, stereotypical and sensationalist - why else have a sex scene surrounded by dead bodies in the first episode if not to shock?

Episode two was an improvement on the first show, but not by much, and probably only by virtue of the fact that they had managed to squeeze so many lesbian references (Gaydar, Diva etc) in to the first episode they had room to actually let the plot develop in the second.

I'm watching the third episode as I write this and it's average to say the least - Hollyoaks for lesbians you could say. My partner summed it up perfectly - 'it's so bad that if it featured straight people there is no way I'd watch it.'

And there in lies the rub (pun unintended), lesbians are intensely loyal to anything which seems to actually acknowledge that they exist as an entity capable of doing things other than satisfying male fantasies. There was a great opportunity to offer a grittier, realer version of the L Word, but to do that they needed to have women who know how lesbians interact with other - either in the actors or the direction (a la Jenny directing the lesbian sex scene in Les Girls The Movie).

It's not good, but I'll keep watching. Why? Tell me what else is there aimed at lesbians?

Nothing, that's what. This is the best we've got and we can only hope it will get better.

The Perils of Lesbianity

info@gaygirlsguide.co.uk (The Gay Girls Guide) — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 09:19:54 PDT

Clit Hopper No.2

info@gaygirlsguide.co.uk (The Gay Girls Guide) — Tue, 26 Oct 2010 11:10:00 PDT

Clit Hopper No.1

info@gaygirlsguide.co.uk (The Gay Girls Guide) — Mon, 25 Oct 2010 12:00:02 PDT

Watching

info@gaygirlsguide.co.uk (The Gay Girls Guide) — Mon, 25 Oct 2010 11:09:18 PDT

Just feeling her lips softly brush against your skin was enough to make you wet. You would lie at night, lights off, eyes closed, and rest your hand gently between your spread legs. Touching, lightly at first, your hips would start to move with your fingers as your mind drifted deeper into fantasy. There you would see and slowly undress her. God, how she was perfect. You were so wet. Your fingers pressed harder as you could feel the excitement build. The scene inside your head had changed swiftly, fleeting from one fantasy to an another, searching for what you wanted, what you needed.

Next, you were in a room, alone with your boss. You’d always had a thing for her, the older woman, the authority, the sensual curves of her slender body, her flawless complexion, her flowing black hair.

You were on your knees in front of her your hands slowly tracing her soft thighs. Soon her skirt was around her waist and your fingers had moved to beneath her panties. With swiftness, her panties were down and she had stepped out of them to spread her legs. She pulled your head closer to her pussy, urging you to taste it, you didn’t need any encouragement. You kissed her once, then again, then again, and again more passionately until you were sliding your tongue into her pussy. You could hear your boss, her breathing getting heavier, the moans of pleasure as you found ‘that spot’.

And in your room, you had three fingers sliding in and out of yourself, stopping only to rub your rock-hard clit as you let yourself go and feel every stroke of your tongue. You loved how women tasted, you loved to listen as they lost control totally and utterly, and you loved to watch as they fucked your tongue, knowing how much they enjoyed it.

Your pussy was so wet. It hadn’t felt like that in such a long time. But soon it changed again, leaping from one thought to another as your desire changed and grew. And there was a faceless stranger in front of you on her hands and knees, her cunt wide open. She looks at you as you reach out to touch her ass with both your hands. It was so firm and soft, you realise you’re naked but for a strap-on and she was pleading with you to fuck her. You reach out your fingers and touch her ass again, teasing, bending down to follow your fingers with your tongue. Your tongue touches her open asshole and her lips begin to move as her breathing quickens.

“No, stop, please” she pleads, “just fuck my cunt”

“But I know you like this”, you reply, still using your tongue to drive her crazy. You stop using your tongue only to slide you fingers into her ass, stretching it for the strap-on which you have been dying to see move deep inside her ass. No would not mean no, and stop would not mean stop. You both had a safe word, and that’s all you had to pay attention to.

You stand back from her for a moment, admiring the way she was, knowing that her pussy was dripping wet and her asshole would open easily for almost anything to fuck it. Lifting a bottle of baby oil, you pour it into your hands and then rub it onto the strap-on, knowing she’s waiting, you take your time. You take the tip and push it against her ass, softly at first so she spreads her legs with no resistance, urging you to thrust it in deeper. You place both your hands on her hips and pull her hard against you as you push your hips into her. The noise, the screams she lets out as its full length is inside her almost makes you cum as you imagine you are really there, hearing those noises, feeling her ass.

As you fuck yourself harder with your fingers, the desire to touch your own ass grows and you move your other hand down so your fingers can press against you asshole. Without realising, you had slipped a finger into your ass while your other hand rubbed furiously against your throbbing clit. You knew you were going to cum. You started to making noises, imaging it was the woman in your head that you were fucking calling out, moaning with every thrust of your hips. As you fucked her faster and faster, so your hands worked on your own cunt and ass faster until you couldn’t refrain from cumming. With one final thrust of your hips, and one final scream, both the woman in your head and you came.

I loved watching you do that.

Lesbian recycling

info@gaygirlsguide.co.uk (The Gay Girls Guide) — Mon, 20 Sep 2010 04:47:00 PDT

By Sucker Love

I was listening to a podcast with three lesbian comics and it got me thinking.

This is the basic jist of the podcast;

“I’m Fernada.”

“I’m Bee, Fernada’s life partner of the last 2 months.”

“I’m Lavender, Fernadas ex-life partner, but we’re stil best friends.”

“Lavender and I used to be life partners isn’t that right Lave?”

“That is true Bee, I was life partners with Bee until she met Fernada and left me.”

“Lavender is the reason I met Bee my life partner it’s like we all shared in our spiritual juices.”

Okay, I don’t know if it is like this for most lesbian circles but around here and the people I have talked to in Australia and the like agree - that lesbian social circle is very incestuous. How come it is very common now? I would say in small communities obviously it is expected because there isn’t a large population but even in London etc it happens, and the gay scene is pretty big!

For example:

You start up a relationship, it’s all going great but then you find out that your friend Stacy with the short hair used to date her who used to date your best friend who you used to date and so it goes on. You get my drift?

How come it is the norm to do this? It is basic recycling. I have been the biggest culprit of this, turning friends into lovers and that but I have never been with someone that my friend has dated. It is basically just when you’re finished with someone and handing them to someone else? And the sad thing is no-one really sees anything wrong with lesbians all being connected and the incestuousness of it all.

When you sit down and think about it, its kinda disgusting to be honest, but I know it can’t be helped I guess.

But do other girls not feel like they are nervous about meeting someone new in case they have been with someone you know or in fact have dated or really, really dislike.

It may be a lot more hassle but I would rather go out of my way to find someone who isn’t involved in all the trials and tribulations of the local gay scene.

I’m just gonna leave it you with a random thought; Would girls in the straight community be okay with not one but possibly two or three of her friends have dated her ex boyfriend? I honestly do not think so, so why is it so ripe within the lesbian community?

Much love :]

Click here to visit Sucker Love's Tmblr

So you think you might be a gay girl?

info@gaygirlsguide.co.uk (The Gay Girls Guide) — Sun, 19 Sep 2010 03:47:24 PDT

"Those who restrain desire, do so because theirs is weak enough to be restrained" [William Blake, 1757-1827, British poet]

How do you know you're gay/lesbian/queer/bisexual/non-heterosexual/choose own label? Well, how do straight people know they're straight? How do you know you're left or right handed? You just know. Its something you feel right through to your very core, no matter how much you try and quieten those urges.

Even though the debate rages on regarding the 'gay gene', as a life-long lesbian, I know that I didn’t choose to be attracted to women. I didn’t wake up one day and decide that I would choose to live a life which would see me discriminated against, ridiculed, and jeopordise my personal safety just for the hell of it. For years throughout my early teens I didn’t even know what a lesbian was (or even that two women could be together in such an intimate way - ridiculous by today’s standards but I had a childhood, a true childhood). I had boyfriends, even had sex with some (too many) of them, but it never felt right. I used to lie in bed at night and wonder what it would be like to be my best friends boyfriend. I didn’t want to be a boy, I just didn’t know that could be with a woman I liked in that way, only boys could be with women that way.

Lesbians are women who are emotionally and sexually attracted to other women. Some women have always known this attraction existed within them (even if they weren't entirely sure what it was), others don't realise until long after they're married and had their 2.4 children. Neither is more or less a lesbian than the other. Whatever your situation, the important thing is to be honest with yourself, even if you can't be honest with those closest to you yet.

It's important to note that you don't have to have had sex with a woman to realise you’re a lesbian. Most heterosexuals are aware that they are attracted to member of the opposite sex long before they have sex with one so don't feel rushed or pressured to jump into bed with the first queer woman you meet just to 'make sure'. It is important to do what feels right and natural to you.

Whatever you've heard about lesbianism, it is vital to remember that it is 'normal' to you. It may not be 'normal' to the straight people around you, just as their heterosexuality doesn't seem normal to you but that doesn't make you a freak or disgusting or any of the other derogatory adjectives you've heard used to describe lesbians.

Remember: heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.

It is widely accepted that around 10% of the population are queer, but various studies have shown that the majority of people feel some degree of attraction to members of both sexes. Sexuality isn't as black and white as society would have you believe. It's interesting to note that around 10% of the population are left-handed, something a person has no control over, just like sexuality.

Can you imagine a world which discriminates against people simply because of the hand they use to write with? Seems absurd doesn’t it? But that's what people are doing when the discriminate against non-straight people. This sort of discrimination will not end until society accepts that, just as a heterosexual does not chose to be attracted to a member of the opposite sex, so a homosexual does not chose to be attracted to a member of the same sex. I'm not going to argue that some people do choose to be gay due to various 'negative' experiences with men, as long as you accept that some people, in a bid to deny their true feelings, choose to be straight. Choosing a sexuality that doesn't fit you may please society, but you will never be happy within yourself if you continue to be someone you're not.

Clit Hopper: Clit Hopper No. 41

info@gaygirlsguide.co.uk (The Gay Girls Guide) — Sat, 18 Sep 2010 07:43:34 PDT

Clit Hopper: Clit Hopper No. 41

The curse of the lesbian ex

info@gaygirlsguide.co.uk (The Gay Girls Guide) — Thu, 16 Sep 2010 13:33:54 PDT

By Sucker Love

Okay let me set the scene; There you are in your house drinks on the go, some sexual music and your entertaining this new beautiful woman you’ve met, you’re feeling pretty happy that its gonna progress into something more then… BAM! You get a text which goes along the lines of ‘who are you with, how could you, I can see you….We only broke up 5 months ago’?!?!

Break for a bit of L Word reference - Alice after her breakup with Dana:

Okay maybe that is a bit of exaggeration but maybe not? We have all been there had that dreaded ex who will not let go, who is probably doing a James Bond Stint outside your house, stalking your every move.

What makes it so hard for us lesbians to just learn to let go and move on? Alot of people I know have told me the terror of their lesbian ex’s and ho boy someone get me a straightjacket and a tranquiliser!

When we get together we never really think of the repercussions of a break up, that this person will turn into a raving lunatic but why should we?

Why should we anticipate the bad whenever were starting a relationship? Should we make up questionnaires for our future girlfriends to fill in to gauge their break up mentality? I understand people are hurt/upset and all that jazz but to pester an ex and be cruel etc is not the way to show that your still in love with them. Why would you want to hurt someone you shared possibly a long time being with and loving?

I have been there. I have been in that upset stage were I’m cursing everything and anything my ex and me did together, but girls, come on, I did it in the privacy of my own home. Have we no shame anymore? No dignity? It seems not. Especially now that the internet is integrated in our lives so much you can expect a rant or a few snidey comments thrown your way by your ex. Come on girls have some pride!

What has changed that we think it’s okay to publicly embarrass ourselves just because a relationship didn’t work out?

My advice is pick yourself up, get some vodka, and head out on the town. Or learn to just be; Take care of yourself and your emotions, become happy and healthy again. Accept that the relationship is over and your ex has found someone else and is happy. Why destroy that because you are content in living in shadows of the break up, just learn from your experiences. Do not make one event the be-all-and-end-all of yourself.

What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new. Right now. ~Author Unknown

Check out Sucker Love's tmblr here

Clit Hopper: Clit Hopper No. 40

info@gaygirlsguide.co.uk (The Gay Girls Guide) — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 06:58:34 PDT

Clit Hopper: Clit Hopper No. 40

Clit Hopper: Clit Hopper No. 39

info@gaygirlsguide.co.uk (The Gay Girls Guide) — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 09:02:32 PDT

Clit Hopper: Clit Hopper No. 39

The Gay Girls Guide To Being Single - your answers needed

info@gaygirlsguide.co.uk (The Gay Girls Guide) — Sun, 29 Aug 2010 04:32:06 PDT

It can sometimes seem like the world frowns upon partner-less people, as though your lack of 'significant' other is somehow a reflection of you as a person. This is bull. I'm usually single (though not at the minute), and it is most definitely through choice. When single, I could quite easily go out and 'get somebody' but I don't want just anybody. If I’m going to spend a significant amount of time with someone and let get close to me both physically and emotionally, I make damn sure it's someone I really like.

There are people out there who are never without a partner, and that's fine, that's their choice. If you prefer to spend time single, that's more than fine too, because it's your choice. Don't just be with someone for the sake of being with someone; getting to know yourself is even more amazing than getting to know just 'someone'. May sound obvious, it is, but you'd be amazed how many people don't take the time to just be themselves, always looking to be part of a partnership.

What advice would you give to someone who is worried about being single?

Clit Hopper: Clit Hopper No. 38

info@gaygirlsguide.co.uk (The Gay Girls Guide) — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 08:28:19 PDT

Clit Hopper: Clit Hopper No. 38

Clit Hopper: Clit Hopper No. 37

info@gaygirlsguide.co.uk (The Gay Girls Guide) — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 07:32:11 PDT

Clit Hopper: Clit Hopper No. 37