The Geek's Grimoire

Getting Older

noreply@blogger.com (Bookwyrm76) — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 19:16:00 +0000

Two days ago, Bethesda Softworks released The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim (just in case you somehow missed the internet-wide "SQUEE"). As soon as the workday was done, I visited GameStop, cashed in the gift card that my brother gave me for my birthday, and acquired my copy. Of course, I spent the rest of Friday night in Tamriel. Then Skyrim showed me how old I'm getting.

There was a time, not long ago, when I would have spent my entire weekend in Tamriel. Hours upon hours of slaying dragons, exploring ruins, and assassinating baddies who don't even know I'm there would have made this a truly epic weekend. There's still a part of me, somewhere in my brain, that thought this might still be possible.

Unsurprisingly, I was distracted by all the side quests:
Couch Potato - Your DVR is getting dangerously full. Watch at least three shows so that it won't explode.
Outdoor Maid - The average maple tree has between 500 and 1,000 leaves, and they're all over your yard!
Celebrate! - Your friend's child is having a birthday, and a celebratory dinner seems to be just the thing.
What a Mess! - Dirty dishes and clothes abound; are you equal to the task?

Despite my best efforts, it looks like I've grown up. On the plus side, I've completed nearly all of my side quests. In fact, I think I just leveled up!

Musica Obscura #3

noreply@blogger.com (Bookwyrm76) — Sat, 09 Jul 2011 19:44:00 +0000

It's been quite a while since I've done a Musica Obscura post. To celebrate its triumphant return, let's take a look at one of my favorite artists.

This is Voltaire, and you really need to add him to your music collection. You'll thank me later.

I first discovered Voltaire back in 1999. I was already a fan of Projekt Records, and bought their compilation CDs as soon as they hit the market. The first track on 1999's "The Projekt Sampler" was Voltaire's When You're Evil. The plaintive violin at the beginning drew me in, the clever lyrics grabbed my attention, and the sardonic twist at the end set the hook.

I immediately knew that I had to seek out the album that this song had come from. Fortunately for me, Hot Topic stores had begun appearing in local malls, and I soon found myself in possession of Voltaire's first album, "The Devil's Bris." The rest of the album lived up to the expectation set by When You're Evil; I was completely hooked.

It's not just about being evil, though. Voltaire is something of a geek, and seems to enjoy poking fun at the golden calves of geeks everywhere, Star Trek and Star Wars.
(Warning: if you click on these next two videos at work or in public, on your own head be it.)

It occurs to me that I may have painted a rather disturbing picture of Voltaire. Don't fret,his songs aren't all about buggery and vivisection. Hell, he's even been featured on the Cartoon Network!

Seriously, do yourself a favor and get an album or two. While you're at it, check him out on Twitter, Facebook, and his website. You will thank me.

Free Comic Book Day 2011

noreply@blogger.com (Bookwyrm76) — Sun, 08 May 2011 03:26:00 +0000

I arrived at my regular comic store this morning, a few minutes before the store opened. Somehow, I was the first person in line (WOOHOO!!).

Upon entering the store, I was greeted by the glorious sight of a large table covered in free comic books. The store had imposed a limit of four free comics per customer. Fair enough; I'd want to have a chance at some free comics if I was a later arrival.

Admittedly, the "four to a customer" rule did prevent me from getting all of the sweet freebies that caught my eye, but I did make the most of my four slots. I selected the free issues of Elric, The Tick, Darkwing Duck and The Misadventures of Adam West. I also picked up a Green Lantern Heroclix figure. Maybe now I'll have to learn how to play Heroclix.

After perusing the racks a bit (and finding three comics to buy), I went over to where an "artist's alley" had been set up, featuring local comic artists. Having never been to a convention, this was to be my first time visiting an artist's alley. It was really fun; the artists were very nice and happy to talk about their comics.

I first met David Watcher, author of The Guns of Shadow Valley. He described it as sort of a western meets the X-Men. Upon hearing that, I was sold. I got a free copy of the $2 book that hew had on display (first 20 customers got a freebee), and he did a free doodle/autograph on the back Very cool.

Next, I met M.L. Walker, author of Hero Corp International. His comic is set in a future Pittsburgh where not only do superheroes exist, but superheroing is an actual job, with corporate bosses and all the happiness that goes with them. I liked the semi-dystoipian, somewhat cynical concept, so I picked up issue #1.

Last, I met Nick Marino, author of Stick Cats. I picked up his free comic, but I wasn't really able to talk to him. He'd arrived at about the same time as me, so he was still trying to set up.

I left the store with ten comics (four purchased, six free), a Heroclix figure, and a small handful of promotional materials form artist's alley. All told, Free Comic Book Day was massively fun, and I'm already looking forward to next year.

Keep an eye on this blog; I'm planning to post reviews of some of my new stuff soon.

The Concert That Almost Happened

noreply@blogger.com (Bookwyrm76) — Thu, 24 Feb 2011 05:20:00 +0000

Have you ever had one of those nights, where nothing goes according to plan? I just did, and the deviation from the plan was so very epic that I need to share it.

Take a look at this ticket stub. In particular, note the times listed. they will be important later.

In another universe, another version of me used a ticket very much like this one to experience an awesome heavy metal concert. I'm fairly jealous of him.

The ticket indicates that the doors to Club Zoo were to open at 6:00 PM, with the show beginning at 7:00. Needless to say, my friends and I were somewhat dismayed when we arrived at 6:30-ish to discover a line of people stretching for nearly a block. There was still time to spare before showtime, however, so we took our place at the end of the line and began waiting.

Time passed. A rumor started making its way down the line that the club was having "power problems," and that's why we were still waiting outside. It's worth noting at this point that the temperature outside was below freezing, and several people were not properly dressed for extended periods in the cold.

More time passed. We were still standing outside when we should have been enjoying the first opening band. I have no idea how, but somebody managed to acquire a 3-foot-tall hollow plastic Santa Claus, who proceeded to crowd surf his way back and forth along the line several times.

Heavy Metal Santa wasn't our only entertainment. There were also two guys dressed like extras from a Mad Max movie (no reason, they were just there). They spent their evening just walking back and forth along the line. This shouldn't have been as entertaining as it was, but we were cold and angry - having something to chuckle at was a very good thing.

Finally, at 9:30 (three and a half hours late), the doors opened. As we filed in, we saw the first of two opening acts on stage, going through their sound check. People were milling about, mostly heading for the restrooms (they'd been in line for a while), when suddenly the club went dark. Flashlights came out, and Heavy Metal Santa made another appearance. Evidently, somebody had brought him into the club.

We were waiting once again, but at least this time we were indoors. Another rumor started making the rounds, this time stating that a transformer had blown. Eventually, at 10:30, a member of the security staff came by and told us to start heading for the door; they were canceling the show. Thinking that a club full of angry metalheads could get ugly, we made tracks.

I'm not too angry about the power failures and the eventual cancellation of the concert. I understand that things like this happen, and they often cannot be helped. However, there is no excuse for the extremely poor way that the situation was handled. We were made to wait outside, in sub-freezing temperatures, on a sidewalk that had not been cleaned since the snow two days ago, for three and a half hours.The least they could have done was let us come inside where it was warm. If that wasn't possible, perhaps the responsible thing would have been to cancel the show earlier.

There is an amusing, somewhat ironic twist to this story. The Wife, who spent her evening playing Sacred 2 (she is not a Cradle of Filth fan) had a more metal night than I did (power metal band Blind Guardian provided music for that game).

An Unexpected Message

noreply@blogger.com (Bookwyrm76) — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 14:57:00 +0000

Today is my 34th birthday. As it's also a day off work, I had the luxury of sleeping in and having a nice lazy morning.

Once I was fully awake, I decided to do some reading. I reached over to the nightstand, grabbed my Nook, and opened the cover. Apparently, my Nook had an amusing birthday message for me:

I love this toy.

What Would Have Happened

noreply@blogger.com (Bookwyrm76) — Sun, 05 Sep 2010 01:49:00 +0000

Once again, I have dusted off my dice bag and returned to the gaming table. Right now, I'm merely a player, although I am in the early brainstorming phase of creating a futuristic sci-fi game.

Longtime readers of this blog may recall an article from last year in which I mentioned plans to modify an old adventure from the first edition of Dungeons & Dragons. Well, that plan never came together, as our game group dissolved for quite some time shortly thereafter.

The campaign that I was running at the time has been completely dissolved, with a fair number of plot threads barely laid out, much less resolved. Thus, I've decided to share The Story That Almost Was:

Myrkul Rising

When our story ended, a group of adventurers thrust together by fate had been hired by a scholar to seek out an artifact known as the Crown of Horns. This scholar, one Oliimer Saleron, claimed to represent a learned brotherhood who sought to circumvent death through carefully studying it. The Crown of Horns was important to their studies, as it was rather closely associated with Myrkul (the former god of death).

Almost none of this was true.

Oliimer was, in fact, an assassin. He was a member of the Brotherhood of Death, an organization dedicated to restoring Myrkul to his former power (gods never die, they just become plot devices). They had learned that, as he was "dying," Myrkul had siphoned part of his essence into the Crown of Horns, thus imbuing it with great power. The Brotherhood believed that, if they acquired the Crown, they would be able to use it to restore Myrkul to godhood.

The adventurers were en route to the small village of Hommelet, where they would soon discover the Temple of Elemental Evil. The Crown of Horns would not be in this Temple, although clues to its current location would be found.

Also in the Temple would be a grievously wounded paladin who had also come seeking the Crown. He and his (now deceased) companions were followers of Kelemvor, and were aware of the Brotherhood's intentions. They sought the Crown that they might destroy it and prevent Myrkul from returning to power.

This would have been a major turning point in the campaign - the players would need to decide what their intentions were toward the Crown. Would they join with Kelemvor's priests and seek to rid Faerûn of the Crown? Would they take up the cause of the Brotherhood of Death? Would they take an even darker path, and use the Crown for their own purposes?

These last two options may seem a bit unlikely at first glance, but at least one of these adventurers was of evil alignment, which could have spiced things up a bit.

Had the adventurers decided to take the "good" path, they would have encountered the current bearer of the Crown (well on his way to becoming a lich, due to the curse of the Crown), possibly several times. When they eventually acquired the Crown, they would have had to deal with the Brotherhood's attempts to take the Crown as well as figuring out how to destroy the thing.

Had they decided to assist the Brotherhood instead, they would have had to fight off Kelemvor's followers as they attempted to learn how the Crown could be used to resurrect Myurkul.

If, however, the adventurers had decided to use the Crown for their own ends... Let's just say that their chances of survival would have been less than those of a spaceship being flown into an asteroid field.

That's What I Call a Fantastic Meal

noreply@blogger.com (Bookwyrm76) — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 02:15:00 +0000

It's up to you.

Apparently, that's what we said to the chef tonight. In celebration of my wife's recently acquired PhD, we went to a local restaurant called Umi and ordered "Omakase." As it turns out, Omakase is Japanese for "It's up to you," and is a fairly common order in sushi restaurants.

We've ordered Omakase at Umi once before, for an anniversary dinner (it's quite expensive), and it was such a fantastic experience that we've been looking for an excuse to do it again.

Tonight, we had that excuse, so away we went to enjoy eight courses of fantastic food. The Wife took photos. Unfortunately, many of the details are lost to me at this point. I will, however, describe each course to the best of my ability.

We started with drinks. I had a bottle of Chimay Grande Reserve and The Wife had a glass of sangria.

The first course was yellowfin tartare, with sweet soy sauce and a tiny dollop of wasabi. Light, just a little sweet, and delicious.

The second course was lightly seared Spanish mackerel. I don't remember what kind of sauce was on it, only that it was really good. This was another subtly flavored dish.

I remember nearly nothing about this one. It was bolder than the previous course, partly because of a really tasty Japanese pepper blend that was sprinkled on top. Unfortunately, I have no idea what kind of fish it was.

Ah, I remember this one more clearly. This was cod, seared, sauced and then cooked again, with a sweet miso sauce. I don't really care for miso, but I'll make an exception for this - the flesh was sweet and tender, with an almost buttery texture. If you've ever had Chilean sea bass, it was kind of like that.

Once again, the identity of the fish escapes me. What I do remember about this one, however, is the sauce. When combined with the tiny bits of wasabi on each piece, it created a flavor unlike anything I've ever had. Iron Chef quality, for sure.

This is shrimp Tempura with spicy cream sauce. I've had a lot of fried shrimp in my time...a lot...and I've never had fried shrimp this light, crispy, and delicate. I was in awe at this particular course.

The penultimate course was some classic nigiri sushi. The rice was particularly delicious; the flavor of the vinegar really came out.

Finally, we had dessert - a fantastic cashew tureen with mango and raspberry sauces. Imagine a Klondike...now, make it more delicious. No, more than that. Come on, you;re not even trying! I'm talking better than any Klondike has ever been! This dessert was even better than that.

Of course, a dinner like this doesn't come cheap.

Still...it was totally worth it.

Short but Oh So Sweet

noreply@blogger.com (Bookwyrm76) — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 02:38:00 +0000

Has this ever happened to you?

You pick up a book on a whim. Maybe it was the interesting cover, or maybe the title struck you as interesting. Regardless, you buy the book. Upon reading it, you come to love the book, so much that you tell all your friends about this great book. Suddenly, POOF! You can no longer find that book at the store. Did you somehow reach into the aether and pull a book from a parallel universe, or did it just go out of print while you were reading it?

That happened to me about fifteen years ago, with a tome entitled Microcosmic Tales.

First published in 1980, Microcosmic Tales is a collection of 100 short science fiction stories. Very short stories. As I recall, the longest tale in this collection is about five pages long, while several tales don't even fill a single page.

I absolutely loved this book from the moment I sat down in Cafe Espresso and read the first several stories over a nice cappuccino. The brevity of these stories belies their creative nature. These stories, which range from Faustian bargains to an interesting take on time travel, are wonderfully succinct, and speak rather highly of the authors' skill.

Unfortunately, this book had been out of print for quite some time (or maybe it never really existed in this universe until I brought it over). I bought my copy some time around 1993, and haven't seen it for sale since (in retrospect, I probably bought the last copy to be sold at that particular store). As near as I can tell, the final printing was in 1991, which would mean that Microcosmic Tales has been out of print for nearly twenty years. It can still be found on the secondary market, usually for a fairly good price.

If the opportunity ever presents itself...maybe you're in a used bookstore, or at a flea market, and you see a copy for sale...buy it. Trust me, you'll be doing yourself a favor.

In The Zone

noreply@blogger.com (Bookwyrm76) — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 00:57:00 +0000

Just a couple minutes ago, I came across this article about classic Twilight Zone episodes. I've only seen a few of them, although I'm familiar with nearly all of them. Such is the power of Twilight Zone - it's an integral piece of American culture.

One episode in particular really stood out for me. Time Enough at Last has been my favorite Twilight Zone episode ever since I first saw it some twenty plus years ago. I haven't seen it in a while, but I still remember quite clearly the effect that it had that first time. I'd say "Spoiler Alert," but this episode is over half a century old. The statute of limitations is long past.

I identified with the main character almost immediately. I've been a book lover for as long as I can remember. By the fourth grade I was regularly borrowing my dad's Star Trek novels, and soon thereafter, I began my own collection. This did not do anything to improve my social standing. As such, I immediately saw the story's beleaguered bookworm, one Henry Bemis, as a kindred spirit. The proverbial hook had caught me, and I was drawn into the story.

Henry, who works in a bank, retreats to the solace of the vault during his lunch break. There, he settles down to read in peace, far from the ridicule of his colleagues. I'm a little jealous at this point; there's no solace to be had in a middle school cafeteria.

As the story progresses, I'm right there with Henry. I feel his sadness when he realizes that he's completely alone. I share his elation upon discovering an intact library, full of books, with none of his former antagonists around (I may have exclaimed "Oh cool!" at this point, I'm not sure).

Then, just as everything was about to work out...Henry stumbles, dropping and shattering his thick glasses. Being new to The Twilight Zone, I had no idea that this was generally how things worked. As such, I was taken completely by surprise. This ending left me stunned; I found myself re-playing it in my mind, shocked at the horror of a man who, on the brink of suicide, finally finds something to live for, only to have it snatched away.

Pretty intense stuff for an eleven year old. Is it any wonder this is the one that sticks out for me?

Epic (Not Figuratively)

noreply@blogger.com (Bookwyrm76) — Sat, 19 Jun 2010 17:05:00 +0000

After several weeks' worth of "effort," I finally finished reading the Silmarillion. As anybody who has even attempted to read the Silmarillion will tell you, this is not an easy book to read. Except for a few brief passages, the book is not presented as a dramatic narrative. This makes it nearly impossible to "lose yourself" in the story.

Rather than the dramatic narrative structure used in most works of fiction, Tolkien presents the Silmarillion in the manner similar to that of Edith Hamilton's Mythology. The tales presented in the Silmarillion are the myths and legends of the Quendi (Elves). The story spans several millenia, beginning with the creation of Eä (the universe) and ending with a brief version of the War of the Ring.

This book illustrates one of the greatest difficulties facing an author of fantasy: setting. For stories set in some version of the world that we inhabit (past, present or future), most of the setting already exists, waiting to have characters and story imposed upon it. Fantasy, however, presents the additional challenge of creating the very world in which the story and characters exist.

Okay, this isn't always true. There are Shared Worlds out there, but these are practically exceptions to the rule (somebody still had to create them). From the whimsical Discworld to war-torn Westeros, most of the world's fantasy authors have created their own worlds in which to spin their tales.

By the way, if the worlds I just linked to are not familiar to you, I have some excellent books to recommend.

Part of what sets Tolkien apart from the others is the depth with which he created Middle-Earth. Not only did he create a world and populate it, he gave the peoples of Middle-Earth a deep, rich history and mythology. This history and mythology, which shaped Middle-earth, are very nicely detailed in the Simlarillion.

My rating? I give it ten wrathful Valar.

That Should Simplify Things

noreply@blogger.com (Bookwyrm76) — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 01:19:00 +0000

Recently, I was browsing the website of a rather excellent purveyor of comic books and other geek paraphernalia when I noticed that they (like so many other online retailers) offer a wishlist function. Geek that I am, I immediately started a list.

A couple days later, I got to thinking about this wishlist. I already have a wishlist on Amazon, and another on ThinkGeek. A third wishlist was sure to make Christmas and other gift-related events unnecessarily confusing. Inevitably, I came to the conclusion that it'd be awesome if there was some sort of wishlist aggregator available, to keep all of the cool things that I want in one list. Sure, Amazon has an "Add To Wishlist" button that will allow you to add anything on the entire internet to your Amazon list, but that doesn't sit right with me. If you're looking at an Amazon list, you tend to assume that you're looking at a list of products offered by Amazon - this is especially important if you're hoping to score free shipping.

I did a bit of searching, and I found three promising candidates:

The first one, Meta Wishlist, seems to be long gone. MetaWishlist.com simply redirects to Google, so no luck there.

The second one, Wish Radar, immediately showed promise by existing. Ultimately, however, I was disappointed. Wish Radar is really little more than a service to monitor your Amazon wishlist and let you know if something goes on sale. Not quite what I was looking for.

It's been said that the third time's the charm. My third try was a service called Wishpot, and it was indeed the charm. Wishpot uploaded my entire Amazon wishlist, and through the use of their "Add to Wishopt" bookmarklet, I was able to quickly add the items from my ThinkGeek and TFAW wishlists.

Gaze in wonderment upon my master wishlist!

The Question is Changing

noreply@blogger.com (Bookwyrm76) — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 00:15:00 +0000

I know, I know...It's been over two weeks since I last posted a Geek Question of the Week, and I still haven't even responded to the feedback on the last one. Fear not, loyal geeks, I have not forsaken you.

Simply put, it's not easy to come up with new questions every week. Sometimes, I just can't come up with anything interesting enough for the Geek Question mantle. Thus, I am changing the nature of the Geek Question.

You probably noticed the snazzy new seal at the top of the page. Your eyes do not deceive you, I am switching from Geek Question of the Week to Geek Question of the Month. Yes, it's less poetic, but it also allows me more time to ponder good ideas.

I do happily accept suggestions. The last question, in fact, was suggested by a reader (my Wife swooped in at the zero hour and saved my sorry arse). You can send me your idea via Twitter, Facebook, or Email.

Now, on to my thoughs regarding excellence in television.

I saw a lot of shows mentioned that I want to start watching soon. Buffy the Vampire Slayer...Flash Forward...Babylon 5... I really need to get moving with these shows. Unfortunately, most of these are shows that The Wife is also interested in watching, and it's in my best interest not to watch them without her.

On the topic of current shows that I recommend highly, Fringe is certainly at the top of my list. They've managed to take all the best parts of the X-Files, add in a deep, puzzle-filled mythology, and wrap the result around some very interesting characters (Walter Bishop, anybody?).

I'm also really enjoying Doctor Who, Stargate Universe, and Caprica. I'm hoping that, once it really gets going, Caprica will be able to really bring the drama the way Battlestar Galactica did. They're building nicely, and I'm anxious to see where they go.

The next GQOTM is coming soon, and I think it'll prove to be very interesting. Keep one eye peeled...

Maybe They Missed Me

noreply@blogger.com (Bookwyrm76) — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 23:12:00 +0000

A box on my front porch
Sent by the Sci-Fi Book Club
My day has improved

If you follow my Twitter account (and let's face it, why wouldn't you?), then you may know that, about a week ago, I placed an order for four books from the Science Fiction Book Club. In order to get the "buy one, get one free" deal, I had to sent my order to them via snail mail rather than just ordering from their website. Thus, you can imagine my surprise when I arrived home after work today (precisely eight days later) to find a box full of books waiting for me.

I was not expecting to receive the books quite so soon. I mean, I sent the order via snail mail. That should add at least a couple days to the turnaround time, no? To give you a bit of perspective, I placed an order with Amazon the day before I placed my SFBC order in the mail. The Amazon order arrived two days ago (Saturday).

Has the SFBC discovered the secret of Warp Drive?

Needless to say, I'm very excited. Three brand-spankin' new books for me to enjoy. Most likely, I'll start one of them as soon as I finish the reading project that I'm currently working on (you'll hear about it here soon enough). I'd be interested to hear what you, dear reader, would suggest that I read. Therefore, I present to you:

My New Books

If I do decide to read this one, I'll want to go back and re-read Inferno first.

This book hasn't been shipped yet, because its official release date isn't until July 6. Much like Escape From Hell, I'm going to want to go back and re-read the previous stories first (because they're that dang good).

One of these books (okay, one of the first three) will be moving to the "on deck" position in my reading list, but I'm not sure which one. If you'd like to try to influence my decision, feel free to try in the comments. I figure you have somewhere between a week and ten days to sway my mind.

If you wanna join the book club, let me know about that as well...they give me free books if I get a friend to sign up. </shameless commerce>

Why Won't it Die?

noreply@blogger.com (Bookwyrm76) — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 21:52:00 +0000

Last night, I beat Borderlands (the first playthrough, anyway). I'm not much of an FPS gamer, and I've never beaten an FPS before so this was something of an accomplishment for me.

The game itself was a load of fun. Set on a Pandora, a distant frontier/mining planet, Borderlands lets you play as one of four characters hunting for the fabled Vault - a treasure trove of alien technology and artifacts. Your quest will bring you into conflict with the local fauna (Skags and Rakk), gangs of bandits, and eventually the paramilitary Crimson Lance.

Gameplay was particularly well-balanced. The game was definitely a challenge, but at no time did I feel as though I was completely and utterly overwhelmed. Every time I died (which was a lot), I still felt as though I just needed to try again, maybe employ a different strategy.

I also liked the fact that Borderlands is more than just a shoot-em-up game. While it's certainly possible for you to wade into a swarm of enemies and mow them down with Schwarzeneggerian bravado, that's not the only way to play. Quite often, you can find yourself a nice perch, equip a scoped rifle, and pick of your enemies like so many little ducks.

Without doubt, the most difficult part of this game was the final boss. I don't want to ruin the ending for those who haven't finished it yet, so this is your warning. If, for any reason, you don't want to know the gory details of the final boss of Borderlands, turn back now.

Here Be Spoilers

As soon as the Vault opens, a tentacle shoots out, impaling the poor fool who opened it. Moments later, the head of The Destroyer emerges, with its huge eye, toothy maw, and mass of writhing tentacles.

This beast is every bit as tough to defeat as it looks like. At a rough estimate, it killed me a dozen or so times before I finally got a handle on the strategy necessary to avoid its exploding thorns, pounding tentacles, eye beam, and lashing tongue, all while scoring the hundred or so critical hits that I needed to take it the hell out.

I really liked this boss. It was very difficult without being impossible, and it reminded me of another favorite fictional character...

Geek Question of the Week #5

noreply@blogger.com (Bookwyrm76) — Sun, 30 May 2010 01:33:00 +0000

A number of geek shows have ended recently. Some ended on their own terms, while others were axed by the network. This means that some viewing hours are opening up in geeks' schedules.
This is the perfect opportunity to suggest your favorite shows to your friends. Why let the network executive$ make that choice, when their understanding of science fiction begins and ends with lasers?
I want to hear about your favorite shows. Whether currently airing or long-cancelled, it doesn't matter. I want to hear about the shows that you really love, and will happily watch again and again. The kind of show that you'll study, nitpick, and discuss with like-minded friends until the wee hours of the morning. We've all got a few, and maybe we'll be able to fill the recent openings in our viewing schedules.

A New Delight!

noreply@blogger.com (Bookwyrm76) — Sat, 29 May 2010 02:10:00 +0000

On a recent trip to Ohio, the Wife and I saw, in a cooler full of various microbrews and imports, a "new" beer from a Belgian brewer that we are quite familiar with. Needless to say, we bought a bottle to take home.
The libation in question is Lindemans Faro - a lambic beer made with candy sugar.

I've had a number of Lindemans' delicious lambic beers, but they've all been made with fruit, and therefore have taken on the flavors of the fruit used (I highly recommend the Kriek). Being made with candy sugar instead of fruit, Faro is quite different from its brethren. My hope was that, with the sweetening agent being less flavorful in itself, the beer itself would be allowed to shine.
Lindemans' website describes the taste thus:

Fruit and caramel aroma, balanced by subtle complexity and refreshing acidity. The flavor starts sweet, with suggestions of brown sugar or orange marmalade, and finishes with crisp tartness.

That's just about what I got out of it. My first impression was of fresh orange peel as the foremost layer in a nicely complex, malty drink. I didn't pick up any caramel in the aroma, but then again, my nose isn't all that sensitive.
All told, Faro is an excellent brew. While I wouldn't suggest having it with a meal, I think it would be a wonderful accompaniment to your dessert.
Cheers!

My Ship and Crew

noreply@blogger.com (Bookwyrm76) — Wed, 26 May 2010 22:13:00 +0000

The responses to last week's GQOTW were, as I had hoped, quite interesting. From the crew made up entirely of actual people to the utterly surprising Spelljammer, I had a metric tonne of fun reading your answers.
I'd also like to thank my wife for the vote of confidence. I hope to serve well as her Science officer.

Anyhoo, I suppose I should return the favor by presenting to you my ship and crew.

My Ship

In designing my ship, I first had to decide what I wanted it to be capable of. I decided that I needed significant FTL capability, a robust defensive package, and a high-end science and exploration package (exploration being my chief objective). To this end, I took advantage of the Geek Federation's offer to combine parts from various vessels.
The base of my ship is an Imperial II-class Star Destroyer. This would take care of the FTL drive as well as providing adequate shielding. The hangar bays, however, would need to be refitted to replace the TIE fighters with more agile (and better shielded) A-wing fighters. The Ship would alsop need to be fitted with the science and exploration package found on a Nova-class starship.

My Command Crew

First Officer: Zoe Alleyne
Science Officer:Samantha Carter
Security Chief: Robocop
Chief Medical Officer: Leonard McCoy
Chief Engineer: Forge
Pilot/Navigator: Joker
Weapons/Tactical: Ackbar

Well? Do my selections meet with approval?

Understanding Your Audience

noreply@blogger.com (Bookwyrm76) — Mon, 24 May 2010 21:36:00 +0000

Unless you've been living in some sort of cave, you're well aware that the series finale of Lost aired last night. I was, of course, one of the millions of geeks (some closeted, others brazen) watching the pre-show recap and the finale itself (the Jimmy Kimmel post-game report...I mean Aloha to Lost special...is waiting on my DVR as I write). The internet is undoubtedly brimming with praise, vitriol, lamentation, and other reactions to the show's end. While I do indeed have an opinion on the finale, that's not the purpose of this blog.
Instead, I'm going to talk about the commercials that aired.
For the most part, the commercials were the standard fare. There were commercials for cars, department stores, cleaning products, upcoming movies...all the commercials that you'd expect to see over the course of several hours of television watching. One particular retail chain, however, really stood out above all of the other advertisers, in that they displayed a fantastic understanding of the audience they were "speaking" to and the importance of the situation.
Let's take a look, shall we?

These are the kind of commercials that one expects to see aired during the superbowl.
The Lost finale was a 2.5 hour event, complete with pre-game show and post-game wrap-up. It drew millions of viewers, many of whom would otherwise have been watching a different stations (assuming they were watching TV at all). I'd go so far as to call it the geeks' superbowl.
Target alone seemed to understand this. Their ads stood head and shoulders above the rest.
Hell, if more commercials were this entertaining, I might actually pay attention to them.

Well done, Target - my hat's off to you.

Geek Question of the Week #4

noreply@blogger.com (Bookwyrm76) — Thu, 20 May 2010 02:18:00 +0000

Message From the Geek Council

In honor of your invaluable contributions to Geek culture (most recently, your participation in founding The Geek Library), you are being offered a command position in the Geek Fleet. Prior to assuming your command, you must complete two tasks:

1. Design your vessel
Of course, all of Geek Fiction is available for you to draw from. You may, if you wish, simply utilize an existing design (a Sovreign class starship, for example), or you may exercise your creativity by combining favorable components from various vessels.
You needn't concern yourself with compatibility issues - our engineers are the finest in the galaxy. They were running Windows and MacOS on the same device long before Apple began using Intel chips.

2. Select your Command staff
Again, you may select your command officers from anywhere you wish. You must fill the following positions:
First Officer
Science Officer
Security Chief
Chief Medical Officer
Chief Engineer
Pilot/Navigator
Weapons/Tactical

Good luck!

Geek Love

noreply@blogger.com (Bookwyrm76) — Sat, 15 May 2010 17:18:00 +0000

I recently changed the wallpaper on my laptop to this:

The other day, my wife walked into the room, saw it, and said "Fhtagn!"

I love this woman.

Can We Make This Happen?

noreply@blogger.com (Bookwyrm76) — Sat, 01 May 2010 03:10:00 +0000

Bill Engvall once said that stupid people should have to wear signs, so you'd know not to count on them. I've had a similar idea, but it works in the opposite direction.
First a little background.
Every now and then, I find myself in need of technical support. For example, maybe I can't get a remote control to work, or perhaps my e-book reader has ceased to function. True to my geek nature, I turn first to the internet to search for possible solutions to my problem. From official FAQ's to BBS servers (and just about anything Google brings to my attention), I research my problem quite thoroughly in the hope that I can fix it myself. If I am unable to find a viable solution this way, I turn to tech support.
Inevitably, the poor tech ends up walking me through the very steps that I've already gone through. For example, when I contacted Sony about my bricked Reader, the tech spent something between 30 and 45 minutes walking me through the exact steps that I had researched and attempted the night before.
I understand that the tech was just doing his job. The majority of people don't try to fix their devices before turning to tech support, so it'e usually a good idea to run the customer through these fixes first. However, when someone such as myself calls, these steps are a waste of both my time and the tech;s time.
For this reason, I really wish there was some form of Geek Credentials system that would work like Bill Engvall's Stupid Signs. You contact tech support, present your Geek Credentials to the tech and he knows that you've already done the basic research, so he doesn't have to ask you if you're sure that everything's plugged in.

Damn it (and other choice expletives)

noreply@blogger.com (Bookwyrm76) — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 22:21:00 +0000

Longtime readers of this blog will know that, a little over a year ago, The Wife and I got e-book readers. Several times over the past year, I've been asked which device I prefer: Amazon or Sony. My answer was always rather inconclusive.
I now have a clear, concise answer: Get a Kindle.

Two days ago, I decided to recharge my Reader. It's been about a month since I last used it (I've been reading "actual" books), and the book I'd like to read next is one that I only possess in electronic form. To this end, I plugged the Reader into my computer using a USB cord. Yesterday, I opened the Reader Library program to make sure that the book I want to read is there, and...it wasn't aware that the e-reader was even attached.
Long story short, my e-reader is effectively bricked. When I unplug it from the computer, the display remains frozen on the "USB connected" screen. The only way to get rid of this screen is to perform a soft reset (hard reset doesn't work). A soft reset takes me back to the "Starting up" splash screen, where it once again freezes.
I spent a fair bit of time last night combing the internet, trying out all of the various fixes that people had proposed - nothing worked. Today, I contacted Sony Support. After spending about half an hour in an electronic chat with a tech who walked me through all of the steps that I'd gone through last night, I was informed that my "Reader requires service."
I went to Sony's Service page, and found that the only "service" available for my device is an exchange program. An exchange program that would cost me $99.00.
I spent $275 for this Reader, and all I get is a year of use?

In conclusion, don't buy a Sony Reader. I can't speak to the worthiness of the other e-readers out there, but Amazon has officially whupped Sony's ass.

Third Generation Geek

noreply@blogger.com (Bookwyrm76) — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 23:12:00 +0000

A little while ago, I was idly surfing the interwebs when I happened upon a smallish image of an old magazine ad for Radio Shack. The ad, which was for the TRS-80 pocket computer, featured the great Isaac Asimov. The image itself was rather small, so I sis a Google image search for "Asimov Radio Shack ad." I found what I was looking for in no time at all.

Almost immediately, however my eye was drawn to another image. An image that triggered a walk down memory lane.

Take a look at the computer next to Isaac's hand. Waaaaay back when I was still a proto-geek, my grandfather had that very computer. Most of what I remember about that computer was playing Pyramid 2000, a text-based adventure similar to the classic Zork.
I never managed to complete the game. Once, I managed to die three times in rapid succession without getting past the antechamber. The game actually gets a little sarcastic if you die a lot.
Most often, I'd end up getting stuck in "a maze of twisty passages, all alike." This bit was insidious, and I always needed to call Grandpap for help. He would come over, pull a large binder down from a shelf above the desk, leaf through it for a moment, and talk me through the maze.
He had created his own strategy guide.
On many occasions, I've referred to myself as a third generation geek. Now you know why.

Molded Meat Food

noreply@blogger.com (Bookwyrm76) — Sun, 04 Apr 2010 14:58:00 +0000

Last night, The Wife and I had dinner at Long John Silver's. I got my usual - the one with two bits of fish and three bits of chicken. The Wife had the same.
At one point during the meal, The Wife managed to extract the chicken from its golden brown (and highly addictive) coating. I didn't take a picture of what was revealed, although I should have.

See that? That, my friends, is mechanically separated chicken. This is, for all intents and purposes, chicken's last chance to be eaten. Bones that still have neat attached (like the bones that are removed from the "Boneless, Skinless" breasts) are fed into a machine that forces it through a sieve at high pressure, removing every last scrap of meat and creating a Play-Doh like paste.
Take a good look at that picture up there. Now imagine that paste molded into a vaguely cylindrical shape, and pale white instead of pink. Give it a nice greasy sheen, and you have the core of the LJS chicken thing.
I only mention LJS because that's what I had last night. If you've ever had a chicken nugget, you've had a molded wad of chicken paste. Next time you have one, pay attention to the texture of what you're eating. It doesn't exactly feel like chicken, does it?
Don't get me wrong, I'm not swearing off Long John Silvers - I still like the fish, and the batter is fantastically addictive. I just won't be ordering the extruded chicken things.

Possibly the Geekiest Haiku Ever

noreply@blogger.com (Bookwyrm76) — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 14:00:00 +0000

I've written a very special haiku in honor of Pi day. A friend awarded me 10 geek points for it.

Three point one four one
Five nine two six five three five
Eight nine seven nine

I suddenly find myself craving pie...