WTF? (Who’s That Female?)

Whether or not this TV commercial is “racist,” I am offended by it.

Whoever Pete Hoekstra was trying to reach with this ad, it wasn’t me (or the millions of other Asian Americans who watched the Super Bowl).

A man is walking in the woods, when he sees a starving bear approaching.

The man starts running away as fast as he can, but the bear is gaining on him. It suddenly occurs to the man that he can pray to the Almighty for help:

“Dear Lord, please teach this bear how to be a Christian, just like me.”

The bear drops to its knees and starts praying:

“Thank you, Lord, for this meal.”

Security Update for Microsoft Visual C++ 2005 Service Pack 1 Redistributable Package (KB2538242)

Apparently, someone is unclear on the concept of “successful.”

Every time I tried to use Microsoft Update to run the update with me watching, I got an error message informing me that Microsoft Update couldn’t locate vcredist.msi, a required installation file.

Around 60 updates ago, I thought I’d do an internet search to try and find a solution to the problem. Incredibly, there were dozens and dozens of complaints about this particular update, but zero solutions (none that I could get to work, anyway).

It became kind of a perverse hobby — every few days I would do another internet search, and take another couple of lame stabs.

Finally, last week, I came up with my own solution.

Here it is:

1. I used the Windows Installer Cleanup utility (MSICUU2.exe) to uninstall Microsoft Visual C++ 2005 Service Pack 1, and Microsoft Visual C++ 2005 (in that order).
2. I then went to www.microsoft.com, and manually (i.e., not using Microsoft Update) downloaded and reinstalled Microsoft Visual C++ 2005 and Microsoft Visual C++ 2005 Service Pack 1 (again, in that order).

Problem solved. My computer is no longer trying to install KB2538242.

However, a warning if you try this with your own computer — Microsoft no longer distributes the Windows Installer Cleanup utility because it can damage other components. I have no idea what those components are. (You can download a free copy of the utility from a whole bunch of different sites.) FWIW, my computer is working just fine, as far as I can tell.

Also, rumor has it that Microsoft is working on a fix, so you might want to wait a while before doing anything drastic.

It occurred to me one day that pushing a lawnmower around was probably at least as much exercise as running on a treadmill.

So I quit the gym and bought a mower.

Here it is — five years later.

I’ve gained 20 pounds.

The grass in front of my house is a foot tall.

And for the life of me, I can’t figure out what happened to that $250 a month.

I’m so excited! My dream came true! I get to spend my junior year in Japan! The Japanese language is really tough, but I’m sure it’ll get way better once I start interacting with some real Japanese people. I can’t wait!

A.W.

Dear Diary,

What a relief! It turns out that there are a whole bunch of Americans at my university. But you know, it looks like some of the Japanese students are giving me dirty looks when my American friends and I talk to each other in English. Do they really expect us to speak Japanese to each other? More later.

A.W.

Dear Diary,

Mom and Dad are going to be spending this entire month in Tokyo! We’re going to have so much fun together! But you know, I could swear I saw some of the students roll their eyes (or the Japanese equivalent, anyway) when my parents came to visit my dorm…

A.W.

Dear Diary,

Can you believe it? One of the Japanese students at my school actually posted a video on YouTube complaining about Americans at her university! She said that we’re rude, and that we all smell bad! Plus, she said that it hurts her ears to hear us try to speak Japanese! The nerve!

What’s wrong with these people? (sniff)

A.W.

What does UCLA stand for?

The University of Caucasians Lost among Asians.

A quick internet search reveals that, in fact, something like 40% of the student body at UCLA is Asian.

So when you hear that a certain white UCLA female student is the star of a rant video on YouTube attacking Asian students, you might think one or more of the following:

1. She’s a fool.
2. She’s a racist.
3. It’s some kind of ploy, concocted in order to catapult her to fame, however dubious.

I haven’t watched her video, nor do I intend to. In fact, I’m not even going to post a link, or mention her name.

I gather, from all the outrage, that the gist of the rant video is something like this:

Asian students are objectionable, because of all the obnoxious things that they do. They’re always talking in the library to each other or on their cell phones. A lot of them can’t speak English very well. Their parents are always showing up on weekends to do their laundry, clean and cook. Blah, blah, blah.

The subtext of the the video is something like this:

Hey, all you Asian students! Why can’t you learn how to act more like white people? You’re totally ruining my college experience with your non-white ways.

And, hey, all you white people out there! Don’t put up with these Asian students! If more of us speak our minds, maybe we can fight this thing!

I’m not going to call her a racist. That word gets thrown around so much, it’s losing its meaning. (Like when a Right Winger calls someone a Socialist.)

What I will say is that she’s wrong. Consider:

1. None of the bad behavior she complains of hurts anyone. Annoying? Perhaps. But you can’t tell me that talking on a cell phone is anywhere near as bad as, say, drunk driving.
2. Not all Asian students act the way she describes. In fact, believe it or not, there is a huge range of behaviors among Asian students just like (dare I say it?) there’s a huge range of behaviors among white students. And believe it or not, there are a lot of Asian students who get annoyed when another Asian student is talking on a cell phone in the library.
3. Some white students do really obnoxious things. Some white students (gasp!) talk loudly in the library! Some white students get drunk every weekend at super-loud parties that annoy the shit out of some Asian students! (Hey, maybe you’re one of them!)
4. Asian students who speak with an accent aren’t doing it on purpose! Having studied Korean and Chinese (at UCLA, as a matter of fact), I can tell you that the worst speakers of English at UCLA are doing way better than I could ever hope to do if I were a student in Seoul or Beijing.
5. And guess what? Every single white student and Asian student is a human being with good points and bad points. (Okay, I’ll admit it, I’m having a little trouble seeing Ms. YouTube’s good points — but I’m sure she’s got some somewhere…)

The opponents of this type of soccer league make the following points (not all of which I disagree with 100%, by the way):

1. The purpose of these leagues is to help children to feel good about themselves, and to prevent them from feeling bad about themselves.
2. While this isn’t a bad thing, these self-esteem soccer leagues go about it the wrong way.
3. In fact, these leagues are ultimately harmful to the children because the “self-esteem” that is instilled in them isn’t real. True self-esteem comes with a combination of ability, hard work, and the overcoming of obstacles — none of which are encouraged or rewarded in a self-esteem league.
4. These soccer leagues are a way for over-protective parents to shield their delicate flowers from the harsh realities of life, including the reality that some people are better than others at soccer (or whatever). Self-esteem leagues are a way to keep children from growing up — and those children will pay for it later when they’re adults in the real word.
5. Further, these soccer leagues punish the “good” players because they don’t get a chance to hone their skills in a truly competitive environment. Even not-so-good players are punished because they aren’t encouraged to push themselves to see what they are truly capable of.
6. The games themselves become pointless for both the players and the spectators.

What bothers me about the use of self-esteem soccer leagues as a talking point in the Tiger Mom debate is that it ignores the context in which these leagues arose:

1. We are becoming an increasingly sedentary society. Childhood obesity is reaching epidemic proportions. Anything that gets children to move around is a great thing.
2. An awful lot of children have been turned off to soccer (as well as softball, football, etc.) by “competitive” settings, in which they play in constant fear of being judged harshly by their teammates, their coaches, and their parents — assuming that they get to play at all.
3. Okay, I’ll admit it — there are definitely parents who coddle their children. But IMHO, Tiger Moms and Dads are a huge part of the reason that self-esteem leagues were created in the first place — a lot of parents were being too hard on their children (and not too soft).
4. In fact, “competitive” leagues can also be harmful to children — even those who excel. Especially those who excel. Record number of children are suffering from sports-related injuries. A lot of them are getting surgery that used to be performed only on professional athletes. (If you want an example, Google “Tommy John surgery” and “children.”)
5. Talk about false self-esteem! How about those kids who excel at sports when they’re ten, only to find out later on that they’re nowhere near good enough for a college scholarship, let alone for a career in the big leagues? Who do you think goes to all of those sports bars? Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad for some of those kids to learn how to have fun with kids who don’t play as well as they do.

Self-esteem leagues aren’t perfect. But let’s at least have an honest debate about what’s going on…

Anyone in the ever-shrinking world of publishing will tell you that the key to making money is to publish “water cooler” books — books that people can’t wait to talk about at break time.

Well, Professor Chua, mission accomplished!

To be honest, I haven’t read the book, nor do I plan to. I’ve read bits and pieces in the Wall Street Journal and Time magazine, but I’ll be the first to admit that my opinion is based on next to nothing. (Not that I’ve ever let that stand in my way…)

Here’s my Cliff Notes version of what I gather Professor Chua is saying:

Hey, all you lazy and overindulgent non-Asian parents out there! Look at me! I’m Chinese, and I’m a professor at Yale Law School! I’ve got two kids, and they’re awesomely successful. They get all A’s in school, and they play the piano really, really well! And what’s more, they’re both unbelievably well-behaved!

Why is my life so great? It’s because I was raised by “traditional” (i.e., batshit crazy disciplinarian) Chinese parents! How did I raise such great kids? You guessed it — by being a “traditional” Chinese parent!

But wait, there’s more!

Maybe it’s too late for you — but not for your kids!

You too can raise awesome children by becoming a “traditional” Chinese parent. For the low, low price of $25.95 (marked down to $14.27 on amazon.com), you can buy your own copy of my book and learn how to browbeat (I mean, motivate) your children to excellence!

Lord knows Professor Chua has received enough hate mail (including some death threats), so I’m going to cut her some slack. I read in an interview that she intended the book to be tongue-in-cheek — kind of a rueful and humorously exaggerated look back at how easily her “traditional” parenting techniques were thwarted by her children.

Maybe…

Anyway, what bugs me personally about the book is that it cashes in big time on Yellow Peril, White Fright, and the stereotyped characterizations of Asian children as overachieving automatons and Asian parents as goal-obsessed monsters.

Here’s a thought experiment: Would this book have gotten anywhere near the same traction if the ethnicity of the author had been concealed?

I guess you know my answer.

I was tempted for a few moments to sign up, but then I saw a link to a page called “See Sweepstakes Facts.”

So here’s the question of the day — what do you think the odds are of winning the grand prize of $1 million a year for life?

The mind-boggling answer is:

Less than 1 in a billion.

As Mr. Spock would say: “To be precise, Dr. McCoy, the odds are 1 in 1,215,500,000.”

See for yourself.

Given that the current population of the United States is just over 300 million, I’m thinking I’ll stick with buying Powerball tickets…