The Girl From Mars.

Private First Class Paul Kasuboski: an inspirational military leader

2017-05-08T17:08:00.000-05:00

The most inspirational military leader, in my opinion, is someone whose name you’ve likely never heard: Private First Class Paul N. Kasuboski. Private Kasuboski was a Combat Infantryman in the Anti-Tank Platoon, 1^st Battalion, 28^th Infantry, 8^thDivision. He took part in the Normandy, Northern France, Rhineland, and Central Europe Campaigns during World War II.

In March of 1945, Private Kasuboski and the 1^st Battalion of the 28^thInfantry managed to cross the Roer River and advanced 33 miles to the Rhine River. They performed this feat under constant enemy fire. During this operation, they also moved and placed anti-tank 57-mm guns which were able to hold back the enemy tank forces. For his outstanding work during this operation, Private Kasuboski was given a written commendation by Louis J. Dughi, Major of the 28^th Infantry.

The month of April 1945 found the 1^st Battalion continuing to advance their position. Many enemy towns were cleared, and close to 5,000 prisoners were taken throughout the month. Mid-month, upon reaching the industrial section north and west of Schwelm, the 28^th Infantry faced strong enemy resistance. Enemy tanks, snipers, and self-propelled guns made for extremely dangerous crossfire. During this exchange with the enemy, Private Kasuboski’s Jeep was hit by enemy tank fire. Many of his comrades were killed in the explosion, and Private Kasuboski was gravely injured by shrapnel. It was the 12^thof April, 1945.

Private Kasuboski was taken to a military hospital, where he recuperated for over four months from his injuries. The 8^th Division and 28^thInfantry carried on forward, continuously defeating the enemy and blazing a trail further into Germany. They were met with less and less resistance as they went on. By the end of April 1945, German troops were surrendering in large droves to the passing American vehicles. They brought in more than 80,000 captives at that time. The amount of captured war materials was massive; a V-bomb assembly plant was found, which was capable of destroying everything for 20 miles around. In Wobbelin, a concentration camp was found with more than 2,500 starving political prisoners and hundreds already deceased. During 10 months of combat, the 28^th Infantry managed to capture over 115,000 prisoners of war.

Private Kasuboski was honorably discharged and returned home to the United States. He was decorated with a Good Conduct Ribbon, European African Middle Eastern Theater Ribbon, Four Bronze Campaign Stars, a Purple Heart, Combat Infantry Badge, American Defense Ribbon, American Theater Ribbon, and Victory Ribbon. When he returned to civilian life, Private Kasuboski walked with a pronounced limp. Due to the injuries he had sustained, one leg was significantly shorter than the other. At 5’7” tall, Private Kasuboski was never a tall man to begin with. After the war, he was several inches shorter.

I had the pleasure of knowing Private Kasuboski in his later years; he was my grandfather. Grandpa Kasuboski never once talked to me about the war. He never talked to my dad about the war. In truth, my grandpa never talked about much of anything. In today’s world, they would call my grandfather a PTSD sufferer Back then, they just said he “had a hard war.”

As a child, the only thing I knew about Grandpa and the war was that he had been in it, and he hurt his leg. I learned of my grandfather’s heroism only after his death, when I inherited his honorable discharge paperwork and his letter of commendation. I researched his service, and found out he had been in one of the most dangerous campaigns of the war. Many, many of his comrades didn’t make it. I can only imagine the things my grandfather had to see, and the memories he must have had every time he looked at his mangled leg.

To me, Private Paul N. Kasuboski was the kind old man who taught me how to prune roses, the benefits of having a rain barrel, and the best way to grow rhubarb. He loved baseball and he loved to play dice. He was the man who always had a toothpick in his mouth, and whose eyes sparkled with mischief whenever he pretended he couldn’t hear my grandmother complaining about this or that. To history, he was a man who risked his life in ways I can’t even imagine to protect his country from an enemy so evil we rarely utter the name. He died with few ever recognizing his sacrifice. He was truly an American hero, and a true leader.

Mesothelioma, Alternative Treatments, and the War on Cancer

2014-11-20T13:04:00.000-06:00

“If you or a loved one has been diagnosed with mesothelioma, call…You may be entitled to a settlement.” When watching daytime television, you have probably been bombarded by advertisements for injury settlement law firms looking for mesothelioma patients to represent. If you’re like me, you have probably wondered, “What the heck is mesothelioma, anyway? Should I be worried about it, if so many attorneys are seeking patients and their families? What can I do to prevent it?”

My curiosity piqued by so many commercials, I decided to research mesothelioma a bit. Mesothelioma is a cancer caused by exposure to asbestos, which primarily manifests in the symptoms of breathing difficulties and weight loss. In truth, mesothelioma is a rare cancer which affects only about 2,000 individuals in the US every year. However, it’s easy to see why injury lawyers would want to seek out mesothelioma cancer patients. Many companies continued to put asbestos in industrial and consumer products long after they were aware it was dangerous. People in certain professions like construction, refineries, and even teachers are at a much higher risk for having been exposed to asbestos. These workers may have unwittingly been exposed to asbestos and risk developing mesothelioma cancer, a cancer with a less than 10% 5- year survival rate with traditional therapies.

Though mesothelioma is a rare cancer, cancer in general is the leading cause of death in Americans under the age of 85. It has become an epidemic, and traditional cancer therapies only treat the cancer after it has been diagnosed. Logically, the most effective way to deal with this epidemic is to prevent cancer before it forms. The National Cancer Institute states that tobacco use, radiation, infection, and immunosuppressive medicines are all factors known to increase the risk of developing cancer. In addition, diet, alcohol, physical activity, obesity and other environmental risk factors are thought to affect the risk of cancer. With so many known and suspected cancer risks, there are clearly many ways that preventive medicine can assist with lowering the risk of cancer.

Many health insurance companies are hesitant to provide coverage for preventive medicine, because they cannot definitively see the benefit. If a patient does not develop cancer, heart disease, or another common ailment, how can they be sure that preventive medicine was a factor? Perhaps the patient is just naturally healthy, or is just lucky. Since the insurance company cannot prove a negative, they cannot financially justify the cost of coverage for preventive medicine. In the business sense this is logical, but in the sense of a patient’s well-being it is neglectful. It is rare to find an insurance company that will provide coverage for tobacco or alcohol cessation treatment, or cover weight loss counseling to prevent or treat obesity. However, by providing insurance coverage for these services, patients would not only improve their overall well-being but be lowering their risk of cancer—the number one killer!

Since so many insurance companies in the United States do not cover preventive medicine, it is understandable that individuals seek alternative therapies beyond traditional medicine. Herbs and supplements are a massive industry in the US, and consumers purchase them liberally (often with very little knowledge of proper dosing or even knowledge of the source of the supplement.) This can obviously be dangerous to consumers who do not research the herbs and supplements they are taking, and how they might interact with each other or with traditional medicines. Patients should always research supplements before they begin taking them, and consult with a pharmacist to ensure they are not negating the effects of any medicines they are already taking.

Preventive medicine is the best course of action for avoiding cancer, but cancer still attacks people at an alarming rate. The traditional therapies like chemotherapy and radiation are often effective, but they can also come with frightening side effects like hair loss, bleeding problems, and even infertility. Sometimes they are a last resort, and the patient partakes in these treatments with the understanding they very likely may not cure them. For patients such as this, any and all treatments should be attempted. The FDA certainly only approves a limited number of treatments, but the availability of alternative treatments is endless. Complementary medicine like acupuncture or other Eastern medicine can not only treat the body, but keep the patient’s mind focused on wellness and recovery. In Western medicine, little credence is given to the theory that the human body can treat itself of even the most serious diseases. However, many patients swear by mind-body methods. Since these methods don’t harm an individual, using them to complement traditional therapy can only serve to benefit the patient’s recovery. The National Cancer Institute is currently undergoing clinical trials on such alternative treatments as hypnosis, aromatherapy and essential oils, and yoga. With time, it may come to pass that alternative therapies have an important role in cancer treatment and recovery and should be utilized with as much frequency by oncologists as traditional Western medicine. Individuals such as Rhio O'Connor have proven that these alternatives can be wholly effective; Mr. O'Connor managed to live for 7 1/2 years after his mesothelioma diagnosis (though doctors gave him less than a year based on lack of available treatments).

Thankfully, the need to call a personal injury lawyer regarding a mesothelioma diagnosis should be necessary for very few people, and the constantly airing commercials should serve as little but background noise. However, cancer in its many forms is frighteningly common and deadly, and affects every family and every person. The time to eradicate this epidemic is now. Researchers must look at the problem from all angles, and we as a society must make the necessary changes to slow down the spread. From our reliance on chemical preservatives to our insistence on using petroleum-based building materials, it is essential that researchers take a broad view in tackling this issue and that consumers are aware that the choices they make affect their health and the health of humans as a species. We must demand that our insurance companies treat us as people and not as numbers, and we must demand the services that will improve our well-being. In the face of a cancer diagnosis, we must accept that there are alternative therapies that might help us recover and that the FDA does not necessarily have the last word on what works and what does not. It is our personal responsibility to research treatments and be responsible for our health.

We are at war with cancer, but I am confident that this is one war cancer will not win.

Carrying the skeleton

2014-10-24T09:41:00.002-05:00

It’s been a long while since I’ve written a blog post. Do people still do that? Surely they must. It’s so much easier to bang out a condensed anecdote on Facebook; that’s usually what I find myself doing. To flesh out the whole story with details, setting the scene with vivid descriptions—it seems too complicated. And will anyone really bother to read it? Probably not. This story isn’t for them, though; this story is for me.

At about age six, I had a dream that haunted me for years to come. I told this dream to nearly any friends or family that would listen, and it was a rare day when I didn’t think about the dream. Now that I’m in my 30’s, I can say the dream only comes to mind a few times per year. Yesterday was one of those days.

The dream went like this: I watched the dream unfold cinematically before my eyes. An old woman traipsed through a barren desert, carrying a large and obviously heavy red bag over her shoulder. Every step clearly took a great effort, and I could tell she’d been walking for a very long time. I watched her carry this red bag, until suddenly she stumbled and fell down. I knew immediately that she was dead. As she fell, she dropped the red bag next to her and I saw it wasn’t a bag at all, but rather a red cape. The cape spilled open, and lying in the sand under it was a grinning skeleton, its face turned to be completely visible. Like the credits in a film, in large white letters appeared the words “Choose Your Friends Carefully.” And the dream ended.

Photo credit: www.boston.com

I woke up more terrified than I’ve ever been by a dream. It made no sense! The bleached white, grinning skeleton was emblazed in my psyche and I shuddered whenever I thought of it. That dream happened nearly 25 years ago, yet I remember it like it was yesterday. As a child, I would often ponder the dream and search for meaning. I had worked out that it was a commentary on friendship, yet I couldn’t discern why it had come to me in such a morbid fashion. Why the desert? Why a skeleton? AmI the skeleton? Why would a six-year-old conjure these images?

It took me nearly a quarter of a century, but I think I’ve finally realized the metaphor of the dream. I am not the skeleton. I am the carrier of the skeleton. The dream represents the sort of friend I am, and the sort of friend I’ve always been. Even in the most stressful and dire of situations (traipsing through a barren desert), I will not let my friends flounder. Something as final as death will not stop me from doing everything I can to make their lives better. Could I, as the carrier, have made my life easier by leaving my friend’s body behind? Yes, I could have. I could have left the body to turn into a skeleton by itself, and spared myself the extra weight of carrying the body on my own shoulder. The body did not have to become a skeleton on my shoulders, but I made the choice to let it. Perhaps I could have found a way out of the desert without the extra weight; instead, I allowed myself to perish for the sake of something that would never recognize my sacrifice. A skeleton.

Is it good to be the carrier? In some ways, yes. The carrier is loyal. The carrier wants only the best for those around them. The carrier is a martyr. It’s clear, however, that the skeleton is the real winner. The skeleton has the support of the carrier, and knows the carrier will not drop it until the carrier finally dies herself. It’s good to be the skeleton, but isn’t the skeleton eventually just extra weight? Is it ever good to be simply deadweight?

At the close, the dream boldly told me to choose my friends carefully. Not to surround myself with skeletons. A true friend would have wanted the carrier to leave her body behind when it began to fail her; she wouldn’t have burdened the carrier with her weight. Friendship contains sacrifices, but not at the expense of others. The carrier has a skeleton inside her, too; we all contain a skeleton. We need to carry the weight of our own skeleton, but never let it define us.

I shall never understand how the brain of a child could concoct an allegory of such stunning accuracy. Likely, I have assigned interpretation to nothing but random firing of synapses. Nonetheless the dream reveals a weakness of mine that I will probably struggle with for the rest of my life. My natural inclination is to help others at any cost, even at the expense of my own happiness. I must remember: it’s ok to be the carrier once in a while, but it’s also ok to drop the damn skeleton and keep walking.

Circle lenses

2011-08-04T09:36:00.002-05:00

I am all about circle lenses these days. Looking like a doll is fun! If you don't know what circle lenses are, check out the banner on the right for Korea Big Eyes. You'll be in l♥ve!

Journal in a Jar- January 25, 2010

2010-01-25T09:58:00.000-06:00

What are your favorite activities and hobbies?

I enjoy reading a lot. My favorite thing to do is take a nice, long bath and read a book. I usually read a paperback or a book I've read many times so that if I accidentally dropped it in the bathtub, it wouldn't be the end of the world!

I also enjoy taking weekend trips. If I had the money and the time, I would visit somewhere different every weekend. I wouldn't even need to know where I was going--just hop in the car and drive! I like to visit kitschy little towns with history, shopping, or a combination of the 2. New Glarus and Cambridge are some of my favorite destinations on weekend trips.

I'm hoping to be able to travel more in general, to further places than I've been in the past. I've never been out of North America, so anywhere outside of the continent would be the furthest I've ever been.

(Above photo: Ryan enjoys a bottle of water with a New Glarus cow.)

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Journal in a Jar- January 13, 2010

2010-01-13T15:57:00.000-06:00

Describe your favorite uncle

This is a very difficult question. I'm not sure that I have a favorite uncle! They're all unique and different, and I like talking to them all for different reasons.

Since I can't really choose a favorite, I can talk about the uncle who gave me a job. My uncle Russell owns a produce market in my home town of Winneconne, WI. He raises many different vegetables and also strawberries when they're in season; however, he's best known for his famous "Allen's Allenville Sweetcorn." Most people probably don't think that one type of corn is better than another, but they obviously have never tried Russell's corn!

I worked the produce stand from probably around 1995 to 2000. I know this because when I get my social security statement every year, I have income reported from the time I was 12! I worked at the stand wearing a fanny-pack full of money, sitting on the edge of the truck bed full of corn. Rain or shine, there was always a constant stream of people stopping to buy corn or whatever we were selling.

For a while Sherry worked with me at the stand. We decided that we would split our wages in half and work together; at least it wouldn't be boring that way! We sat and listened to Cd's in the Discman, read books, just talked, or sometimes threw stray strawberries out in the road to see them get hit by cars. We didn't make much money splitting the money, but we had a good time.

My uncle also runs a successful greenhouse during the warmer months; my mom works there during the spring planting flower arrangements and selling plants. She also sells produce at the Allenville stand when it's in season.

(The above photo is not Russell's stand, but it looks pretty similar to what we sold.)

Journal in a Jar- January 12, 2010

2010-01-12T10:26:00.000-06:00

Favorite Flower(s)

Honestly my favorite flowers are any that are given to me! I love receiving flowers. I know that most men are of the opinion that flowers are worthless because "they just die anyway", but I am one of those traditional women that loves to get flowers. They don't have to be expensive and they don't have to be fancy; I'd be happy with any $5.00 bouquet that can be purchased at the grocery store (although Ryan insists that he would never, under any circumstance, buy me flowers from the grocery store.)

I like all types of flowers. I really like unique roses that are different colors. Ryan has given me really cool roses before that are white with pink on the edges; those were beautiful. I also really like lilies of any variety, especially exotic-looking varieties like tiger lilies.

(If you are interested in obtaining your very own Journal in a Jar, please contact journalinajar@yahoo.com)

Journal in a Jar- January 8, 2010

2010-01-08T11:00:00.001-06:00

What instrument do you play or wish you could play? Why?

When it comes to instruments, I am a jack of all trades but master of nothing. Here is a list of the instruments I have played and how long I've played them:

Piano-1990-1998 (lessons)
Flute-1994
Percussion-1995-2000 (this includes drums, marimba, xylophone, vibraphone, timpany, triples, quads, and awesome instruments like cowbell and slide whistle)
Guitar-1999-2000 (tinkering with it more than anything)
Bass Guitar-2000-2002 (played in the band Mediocre at Best)

I think that's about it. Piano is the instrument I have played longest, though I am by no means skilled. I do believe that having a strong foundation in piano theory is what allowed me to pick up on other instruments so easily.

By far I am best at playing the mallet instruments like xylophone and marimba. My marimba quartet was, if I'm not much mistaken, the first Winneconne Middle School group to ever get a first place award at the State Solo & Ensemble Competition. In general, middle school students from Winneconne were not allowed to select songs of the difficulty required to go to the state level; however, our quartet must have shown enough promise that an exception was made.

(Above: me and Ryan in 2000 at his graduation, me in my band uniform)

The next year (my freshman year) our quartet again received a first place at the state level, as did the percussion ensemble I partcipated in. My sophomore year was the year everything blew up. Our percussion ensemble received a starred first at the district level, meaning we were selected to perform at the state competition. Our band director did very little (if anything) to help us prepare for district competition. In fact, he only practiced with our group once, perhaps twice at the most. We battled through it as an ensemble and pulled the piece together regardless of his absence. When the scores were posted, a "concerned" parent overheard one of we percussionists stating that the teacher would "probably take all the credit for it anyway."

The next week, the teacher pulled our whole percussion section into his office and screamed at us for about 10 minutes. His face turned bright red, and he admonished us with insults like "you're not as good as you think you are", "you don't even deserve to go to state," "your performance wasn't worth of you going to state", "there is nothing special about you", "you're not the most talented group I've ever had", etc. He told us he would not be permitting our ensemble to perform at the state level. He then screamed that none of us were to refute his accusations, and ordered us from the room.

Anyone who knows me realizes that my musical skill is one of the few things I have ever felt pride in, so having someone tell me (as well as many of my best friends) that we were talentless was a true slap in the face. The only way I felt fit to retaliate was to quit band, along with several other members. The teacher was left with a weakened percussion section, and had to pull band members off of other instruments in a sad attempt to rebuild what he had lost.

That teacher retired several years after I graduated, and never once apologized to me or anyone else in the percussion ensemble. The sad thing is, before all this happened I favored him above many other teachers. Me and my friend Sherry would sometimes do yard work for him, or even just stop by for a chat. I never spoke a single word to him again after I quit band. I hope he realizes that he didn't just "teach a few kids a lesson" by barring us from state competition; he took away the pride we felt for being self-sufficient and capable of our own success. I hope he still thinks about it sometimes.

Journal in a Jar- January 7, 2010

2010-01-07T10:03:00.000-06:00

What does the mail mean to you? Are you a good letter writer? Who do you or have you corresponded with?

I'm a fantastic letter writer! Back in middle school I had over 100 pen pals all over the world. I still have boxes of all their letters that I've saved. I used to do "friendship books", where you'd basically hand-write a little blurb about yourself and then pass it on to another pen pal. You could meet tons of new people through the mail by writing to people listed in friendship books (FB's.)

I still write to Lia from Australia, and keep in touch with a few others like Bre and Maureen via Facebook. Having pen pals was a great way to meet new people and learn about other cultures before the internet came along and really made it easy to do that.

I also wrote to a girl named Rebecca Sealfon, who was quite different and unique- she lived in the Bronx, was homeschooled, and didn't have a TV. She was such an anomaly to me! I mentioned many years later to my husband, after we'd been married a few years, that I used to write to this girl. His response was "THE Rebecca Sealfon?!?" As it seems, she was a very famous pop culture icon around the time I used to write to her as she had won the National Spelling Bee. Her win was a TV smash because of her unusual method of spelling the words spoken quietly into her cupped hands before she spoke them aloud. It looked quite bizarre, and made her the talk of many TV shows and the news. To this day there are still internet groups devoted to her and her "strange" behavior.

Rebecca and I are once again in contact via the internet, though she uses an alias on public sites so as not to draw attention to herself. I see now why she liked writing to me so much- I wrote to her because I liked her, and not because I just wanted to get a piece of her fame like most. How could I? I didn't even know she was famous.

Journal in a Jar- January 6, 2010

2010-01-07T09:52:00.000-06:00

Tell about some of the notable people in your hometown.

This depends if you're asking about my hometown or where I currently live! I grew up in Winneconne, WI. I can't say that many famous people have grown up here, but a few politicians and business people got their start in Winneconne. We've also had a few professional athletes and TV personalities, but that's about it.

My current city is Sun Prairie, WI. Most notable here is the birthplace of Georgia O'Keefe. We've also had a few politicians like the Hebl's. I'm sure there are other people too but I'm not too familiar with the history of Sun Prairie.

(Above, a view of Winneconne, WI across the bridge on the Wolf River.)

Journal in a Jar- January 5, 2010

2010-01-07T09:47:00.000-06:00

Do you have a favorite author? Who? Why? Tell about favorite books as a child, youth, adult.

My favorite author is Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. I first began to enjoy his work when I was in high school- the apathy was very familiar to me at the time. It was a very sad day when the world lost him.

As a child my favorite books were the Boxcar Children series. I also enjoyed the Ramona Quimby books quite a bit.

(to the right, you will see an image from the Boxcar Children.)

It begins: Journal in a Jar 2010

2010-01-07T09:40:00.001-06:00

For Christmas I got a really unique gift from my mother-in-law and sister-in-law. It's called "Journal in a Jar." This is a gift that they hand-made consisting of a canning jar full of questions on slips of paper, and a notebook. The idea behind this is that every day you draw out a slip of paper and answer it in your journal; by the end of the year you'll have a full journal!

I tried this for a few days and realized that I am painfully slow at writing by hand. The internet age has made it so that I can literally type faster than I can think, and writing by hand is a dreadful undertaking. In order to do the questions in the jar-journal justice, I've decided to move my "journal" over into the realm of my blog.

Entries from January 5-7 have been transcribed from the handwritten versions in my journal. From that point on, all entries will be typed up directly onto my blog.

If you're interested in purchasing a Journal in a Jar for someone, make sure you contact my mother-in-law at journalinajar@yahoo.com and she'll hook you up. :)

Wanna see my wiener?

2008-04-01T17:18:00.011-05:00

Due to the Oscar Meyer factory being in Madison, we often see Wienermobiles parked around town. The newest wiener to be added to the fleet is nothing short of marvelous....it's a MINI WIENER!

AWWWWWWWW!

The Minster was so excited to meet Lil Link!

The headlights give you away, MINI!

Truly, size is not everything for this wiener.

You have one new message.

2008-03-04T10:19:00.003-06:00

Actual answering machine greeting for someone I just had to call for my work (number removed for obvious reasons):

“You have reached 555-5555. Beginning February 15 is Nascar season. If you are calling on a Saturday or Sunday, I will NOT be answering the phone. If you are calling to sell me something, GO TO HELL. Otherwise, please leave me a message and I will return your call as soon as possible.”

I've got a merch store, yes I do!

2008-01-04T12:25:00.000-06:00

As you can see by the lovely thing in the sidebar, I have my own Zazzle store now. This is where I will design useless junk that no one but me will be interested in. The main reason for opening this store is because I am designing a 2008 Hedgehog Calendar, and needed an outlet for doing so. As it turns out, designing stuff is really fun, and really free, so now I've got my own store. Go look at my crap.

Worst Morning Ever

2007-10-18T07:44:00.001-05:00

On my drive in to work this morning, things were going well. I was actually early for once. I was listening to Faith 1190 (don't ask) as I so often do, and thinking to myself that Thursday might just be okay.

There is a street I must navigate every day to get to the courthouse called West Wilson. It is almost like the video game Paper Boy- pedestrians cross without looking, open manhole covers occasionally pop up in the middle of the street, delivery trucks block whole lanes, and bicyclists weave in and out of traffic. Driving down this street requires an extraordinary amount of attention to detail, or you will most certainly kill someone or something.

That is exactly what happened this morning. I was enjoying my rarely pleasant mood when a squirrel (complete with nut in mouth) bounded out into Wilson Street, directly under the tires of the car in front of me. The car in front of me made no attempt to stop or avoid the squirrel, nor did the driver provide any indication that she recognized the squirrel as a living being whose head she had just crushed (at no point did her brake lights go on and her car never deviated from its path). Lucky for her, not so lucky for the me and the line of cars behind me who had to watch the squirrel twitch and struggle on its back as it slowly and excruciatingly passed into death.

I probably should have finished the job and just run it over, but I simply cannot kill something purposely (nor can my Mini for that matter). I certainly hope that one of the cars behind me, whether accidentally or intentionally, was able to put that squirrel out of its misery. I have no clue how long a squirrel can live with half a head, but I imagine it's quite a while.

And now that my morning is officially ruined, I hope you have a pleasant day.

LOL Laika

2007-08-31T11:35:00.000-05:00

2007-07-09T11:58:00.000-05:00

If you have a cat, I highly advise that you get the ScoopFree Litterbox. It actually works, which is amazing. You have to buy these stupid disposable cartridges for it, but you can buy a permanent one off of E-bay by searching for "Forever Litter Tray." This litterbox has changed my life, and the way my cats poop.

Headaches

2007-05-03T12:34:00.000-05:00

Seriously...what is the deal with headaches? I am very tired of getting them. After my car accident, it was to the point where I was getting them EVERY DAY. That sucks--majorly. It's not every day now, but it's still most days. If it were just migraines...I think I could deal with it. But it isn't. I run the absolute gamut of headaches--tension, migraine, sinus, etc. In order to handle all these headaches, I have an arsenal of medication. It seems like I always take the wrong medication for the headache I have, so it never quite goes away. I've tried meds, chiropractors, physical therapy, massage therapy, had x-rays, CAT scans, had injections--none of it is enough! The doctors are baffled. I don't display symptoms of one type of headache, but rather, EVERY type of headache. If anyone has any suggestions, please offer them. I am at a loss.

Vote-a-doo!

2007-04-25T12:47:00.000-05:00

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Directly to your right, you will see an obnoxious, blinking ad asking you to vote for the CDP in the Blogger's Choice Awards. Please heed this gif, and vote immediately. I CAN make it blink faster--don't force me to do it. Thank you for your cooperation.

Thursesday.

2007-02-15T14:49:00.000-06:00

A Spam Break-Up Letter

2007-02-11T10:47:00.001-06:00

(Few people recognize the beauty of the spam email. I have painstakingly composed this letter from bits of spam email I have received. Enjoy the absurdity.)

Dear Bulb-

From day to occipital day, I lived on level alone. Well, here I am helpless at last-thanks to an unseasonable excess of the most powerful aphrodisiac of all, seal penis soup. I know that the Liberal Lord will torture me no longer! This is, however, the far most common final thought experienced by every single Galapooter in the history of Galapooting. Let these remarks suffice on the subject of substance.

Quality, that which takes its character from quality, has a name not called sweet because it is affected in a specific way. All relatives have correlatives: determinate sense. Thus, individual branches of knowledge are not relative. Indeed, if our definition of that which is relative was change in both directions is impossible. It is in the case of space that quantity most plausibly appears to be the contrary of any primary substance. To sum it up, it is a distinctive mark of substance, for one is at the same time both sick and healthy.

Do you remember when we threw a few snowballs at each other, but it was fairly wet and cold and slushy so we didn’t stay out too long? I am beginning to visualize odd magpies flying around as well as big mules blowing out noxious, poisonous gases everywhere. It’s really quite the interesting experience. Have our winter meetings outlived their usefulness? Should we abandon them completely? I do not dare open my eyes for fear I might not be able to stop crying.

Do you recognize this bit of parchment, all of which I took from a small locked portfolio under a yellow hen that was sitting- the chicken that eats the bugs? It reminds me of the time we sat down to enjoy the Sunday morning breakfast of coffee and steak and you thought so hard that the pins and needles began to stick with a violence which would have killed any other boy. And yet I clamored for candy!!! You always chose with taste and judgment.

When we are offered infinite choice, the true shape of demand is revealed. There is a new line in the sand (yet none of this is worthwhile fodder for discussion.) It showed I was not such a good scarecrow, and the copper man stepped off as briskly as any of them. The occasional star agent will always make a bundle- sight is not sight of blindness. Perhaps some explanation of the dilemma may be found? Have you no idea whatever?

I know you are currently a massage therapist and at times, although you love to massage your clients, you wish you had gone to nursing school. I realized that during the fifth time in three years that authorities had detained me in a mental institution because of my protests against forced evictions and abuse of land rights. This was later upgraded to subversion. So please…take time every day to do what you love- move your body, challenge your mind, and know that you can be the best you can be. But I need to practice what I preach.

Today the sunset will be beautiful, as I flick you off, push you in the lake and yell, “I am breaking up with you, you awful!” And why? To make you see the unbelievable truth: that aliens are in the hell-hole called Texas.

Sincerely, Archibold

P.S. You can skip to the end and leave a response. What about flamingos, owls, or chickadees?

February is National Pet Dental Month

2007-02-08T16:20:00.000-06:00

I'm not dead, but my voice is.

Is that figurative? Why, you may never know!

Happy Holidays

2006-12-22T12:09:00.000-06:00

Merry Fricken Christmas!!!

:(

2006-12-06T12:11:00.000-06:00

(Sometimes life just isn't a nice thing.

I hate Pitchfork, but I have taken this off of their website as it is very nice and well-written. If you don't know who Logan is, I hope you take the time to find out.)

We are saddened to report that Logan Whitehurst, former drummer for much-loved California trio the Velvet Teen, passed away yesterday from brain cancer. He was 29.

Whitehurst co-founded the Velvet Teen with Little Tin Frog bandmate Judah Nagler around the turn of the century, and played on the band's early EPs and two full-lengths-- 2002's Out of the Fierce Parade and 2004's Elysium, both released via Portland imprint Slowdance Records. Whitehurst exited the band after Elysium, and the Velvet Teen welcomed new drummer Casey Deitz for this year's Cum Laude.

"Logan was an incredibly special and endlessly gifted person," wrote Slowdance Records owner Ezra Caraeff on the label website.

"Possibly the most grounded and mature person I have ever met, Logan also had the pure joy of a child, always approaching life with a[n] inspiring sense of optimism, despite how downright unfair (my words, never his) things can become. I speak for everyone involved with this label, its bands and those associated with us, when I say that Logan will be missed terribly...If you ever were lucky enough to meet him, you'll know why I am saying these things."

Friends and fans expressed similar sentiments on the Velvet Teen's MySpace page, as well as that of Whitehurst's solo project, Logan Whitehurst & the Junior Science Club.

Logan battled brain cancer for some time-- successfully it seemed-- until it returned in August of this year. "According to my doctor and a recent brain-and-spine scan, I have had a hell of a recurrence of brain cancer," wrote Logan in a profoundly sad MySpace blog entry dated August 30, 2006.

"My doctor is fairly well convinced that this will kill me within the year. Sucks to be me right now. I will do what I can to get the Very Tiny Songs album out on Pandacide Records, but it looks like it will honestly be my very last release. Thank you all-- I love you for being there for me."

We offer our deepest condolences to family, friends, fans, and all whose lives were touched by Logan.

Posted by Matthew Solarski on 12/4/06