i want to be the girl with the most cake!

chocolate menu

2012-02-08T18:43:00.000-08:00

i haven' forogtten my place...

2012-02-05T12:31:00.000-08:00

i have just been on my deathbed. i had a virus, followed by an almost complete bowel obstruxxtion ( fixed it before i had to have surgery!), another virus AND my period! this follows on the heels of a bad respitratory virus. so, yeah, i have felt dead!

we are looking at a house in the town we came from. it has 2 stories, but it works. it has a complete 3br 2 ba house, then a walk-out basement with a den, bathroom and two bedrooms there.so i will never have to go up downstairs. it was supposed to be auctioned but the auction was cancelled. i hope they do a sealed bid. i will pay $500 for it. maybe i will be the highest bid! it's happened, i've read about it, but i hope it happens to me.

i haven't been to church in forever. when it's cold and hard to move, i tend to stay home. i did join the y last week, but i have yet to go. i may cancel it if we don't seem to be going, but somehow i got the first 15 days for under $5. it's $39 a month, but i really miss the flexibility i had when we used to belong a few years ago. since i did it during january, i saved the $75 joining fee. i can quit without guilt.

i have been cleaning up my house and packing up stuff i know i don't have to use anytime soon.

one day...

it's not a nightmare- it's REAL!

2012-01-07T14:20:00.000-08:00

you can now go on a celebrity cruise with kate gosselin! yes, you can! this just blows my mind, because i know that somehow, this will end with us wrestling on the lido deck and i push her over board.

at first, i thought the kids would be there. can you imagine the kind of perverts who would love to get the tups out to sea into international waters? so i was happy to see it's just her. not the kids too. it's not like i hope the boat sinks like the titanic or anything, but damn, a week with kate gosselin? this sounds like something you do if you are in jail and want your sentence reduced. or you have a rebellious teen who won't listen to reason. just send her to sea for a week with kate! i bet she comes off the boat and hugs you. she may need therapy though.

i really shouldn't talk bad about her, no one is clamoring to go on a cruise with me either.

i bet the food is really is really crappy and they have exercise sessions all the time. or motivational walks. i think i would just jump overboard and kill myself instead.

bucking the trend

2012-01-01T18:24:00.000-08:00

i know it's the trend for bloggers to write new year's resolutions, but i think that i will list my new year's suggestions instead. these are a bit looser and a bit less structured. there is no penalty, nothing to break. here goes:

stop buying stuff i don't need
stop feeling guilty when i buy things i do need
get rid of the hoard of crap in the garage
stop bringing crap home
say no sometimes
say yes sometimes
eat healthier
exercise more
eat less
feed your brain

think that's enough for now. feel free to adopt these no-fail new year's suggestions. print it out, and post it on your refrigerator or thumbtack it up in your cubicle. pick pretty paper. choose a font you like. pretty it up. heck, get it tattooed on your behind, i don't care. just do it. i think it will make you feel better.

i need a name for it. how about "10 e-z steps to a new me"? okay, we'll go with that for now.

i am also going back to not having drinks with meals. i mean, no cokes, no tea. i don't drink alcohol that often but it's always at home- it's cheaper to buy your own liquor and i don't have to tip the bartender! but sodas and such are $1.50-$2.50 each. i can buy a couple of 2 liters for that price. it's back to water for me. this year i am going to put the money in a bank and save it. for what, i don't know. i'm sure i'll find something to spend it on. i don't eat out often, just once every two weeks or so. it's so much cheaper to cook.

i hope you had a great celebration last night. i was in bed at 11, then the neighbor boy starting shooting off fireworks at 11:45. i didn't go back to sleep until almost 1. oh well, who can complain about beautiful fireworks?

pen to paper

2011-12-30T20:49:00.000-08:00

it's that time of year when i begin thinking about the calendar i will use for the coming year. it's a tradition for me to go to the bookstore on jan. 1 and get one for 1/2 price.

i go back on mlk day and get the ones i want for 90% off! then i go crazy. my favorites are the ones with solid bound covers, like textbooks. i get a secret thrill, as if i'm defacing a text book.

i have been using a medium-sized blue sky for the last few years. i have a filofax i use to stick in info that is not relevant at this second. tree guy? he's in there. that kind of thing.

i have bought a small wire-bound planner, out of the the dollar bin. it's pink and black. it will fit in my purse easily. i am going to try it out.

but i might buy the blue sky one anyway. you never know.

the check with the lady liberty is coming. i got a notice to send more documentation for something, my bad. it didn't mention a tax, it just said my refund couldn't be issued until i sent it in. that thing is going in the mail tomorrow. i have to go to the po box, so i will mail it then, as well as something else i need to get in the mail.

i found an attorney and we have to come up with some upfront money so that what we can see if the documents i have is actually what was filed. i will have the money jan. 15 and we are working on an inventory list for damages. they will take the case on a contingency basis, so i am making sure i get every safety pin that was in the house. i think it will only take a letter from an attorney to get a settlement.

i am still looking for a house. i think i have a line on one near the church. it's got a fsbo and a for rent sign in the yard. the backyard is fenced for the mutt. he's not really a mutt, but just a pedigree with a bad attitude.

disappointment

2011-12-16T13:15:00.000-08:00

i got a very sad disappointment today.

i used to have a very horrible relationship in which she used me for whatever could squeeze out of me. she would steal from me even though i would loan her anything i could. she stole my engagement ring from an ex-boyfriend worth $10,000 and sold it for $50. she treated me like someone's easy mark. she never understood the difference from a loan and a gift.

we didn't see each other for a few years. when we reconciled, she admitted she had been diagnosed with bi-polar disease, she was taking effective medication and she apologized for all her pass wrongdoings.

things were okay. for a while.

she asked to borrow a sweater of mine and she is a smoker, so she promised not to smoke in it. this was too years ago. so i asked for it back again last week-end when i saw her. she had it hanging and the neck was all stretched out. it had several huge holes in it. it had a fine coating of dust on it and reeked of cigarette smoke and febreeze, which gives me a headache anyway.

i loaned her a tv for my niece to use. it was not to leave her house. today she told me that it was at my niece's house, one of those places where she would give you a tv for a pack of cigarettes and a 6-pack. then she said her husband was using it in the garage. then she claimed it never worked and she donated it to goodwill. all i know is i am out a tv. it was working when it was unplugged and put in her car. she claimed the tv on her taxes. it wasn't hers to claim.

i had an old honda. since bobo is unemployed, we didn't need it. she financed a hummer last year and she can't afford gas to put in it. i sold it to her for $500 bucks. i even set up a payment plan with her. she broke it the first month by asking to pay only half of a payment. now she's running around telling family members how she "fucked" me over on the car, that it is worth a lot more than i asked for it.

i don't get how someone can be like that and denigrate the people who are trying to help her. i'm done with her.

besides, she hung up on me and i don't tolerate that. i will not be accepting her calls at all.

i can now go back to not having a sister.

i like being an only child better.

i probably will never see the rest of the money for the car. but at least i can put that money down as valuable lesson learned.

pins?

2011-12-14T16:09:00.000-08:00

what is the big deal about pinterest?

it must be amazing, it caused my daughter-in-law to try to cook something.

that is nothing short of a miracle. i requested an invite.

i am on a waiting list.

wtf does that mean?

pinterest. pinterest. pinterest. we shall see.

resistamce

2011-12-14T16:03:00.000-08:00

i got a call from the bank. very strange. pretty much, she indicated it was the bank's fault but they wish to deal with an attorney, not me.

she then called me from her cellphone and told me how to win the case.

weird. but i am taking her advice. she is sending me some documents.

we shall see.

i don't care anymore. not in the least.

i guess i will go back to counting on the lottery.

i am still waiting on my check with the statue of liberty on it. i called and was told i will have it in 90 days or so.

woo hoo!

i don't feel very christmas-y today.

could ya tell?

christmas limbo

2011-12-05T19:31:00.000-08:00

the bank denied my claim last week, providing with a proof of delivery of foreclosure papers.

they are counterfeit.

the local postmaster examined it and gave me a signed statement that the item had never been through the postal service and was filled out wrong in about 7 ways. i have the bank by the ballls.

she seemed very surprised today that i had questioned the validity of the proof. no one has ever done that. she idly asked I wonder how many people this happened to? you can't be the only one."
um, robo-signers. heard of that. prime example.

she said she was going to see what i wanted and how close she could come. i gave her some numbers but told her they were bottom line. if i have to go any further, i will make sure it is a much larger amount. she also asked for an inventory. i told her if i made one, it would take 5 days and waste a lot of her time when she reads it. i explained how i was figuring it- according to our insurance limits" and she agreed it would be much easier. i agreed but offered to inventory everything again. she declined.

in other news, still waiting on the check with the picture of lady liberty on it. it will come in handy.

regardless of these things, i am still going to get a home using the $14,999 satellite grand program and usda to get my mortgage. i would rather pay cash for the house, but i am not going to let a moneymaker like this pass me by. if i have cash, i buy. if i am still waiting, i use the usda. simple

i would like to be able to get a newer used car and new living room furniture. maybe a counter high bar table. those are easy to get in and get out. but i have enough junk to fill the rest of the house. i will be able to have the house of my dreams.

and maybe a new white smart car!

never enough

2011-11-23T09:35:00.000-08:00

i didn't buy enough drinks, so i asked my dil to get the 2-12 packs i needed. was that bad?

i invited them over for dinner because we are getting a ham and its easy enough to throw out some bisquits and eggs. maybe some eggos or pancakes if the tiny country store has it.

send in the clowns...

2011-11-22T12:08:00.000-08:00

i made my trip to the grocery store today. i needed to buy drinks to take to my aunt's house. i refuse to wait until tomorrow. everybody and their aunt will be running out to buy those few things they forgot, it's going to be a madhouse. so i went today and got what i needed and go out in about 1 minute flat. the drinks are out in the car. i am bringing them in to the refrigerator so they will cold for thanksgiving.

it is so nice not having to cook, but while i am enjoying my clean counter tops and clean dishes and no piles of pots and pans, i do kind of miss the family being busy together. but i console myself with the thought that i have SURFACES for the holidays. yes, all you ab-fab fans, i have SURFACES. i did not purchase them.

i didn't really decorate for thanksgiving. i just used my default flowers and curtains, which are kind of brown-y and fall-ish. it'll pass for thanksgiving.

but i am blowing this bi-otch out for christmas. i am excited for my friend to come see my house and spend time with me. i am getting out all my christmas decorations and floozy up the place. i have the urge to go to the craft store and buy a glue gun and go crazy, hot-gluing things everywhere. but i am going to control myself and wait until after christmas, when it is on clearance! clearance is my favorite holiday.

i have this really bad craving for sushi, i will wait until saturday lunch and go to the good sushi place. i can bring a book, then go the back way to my secret parking place at target. there are 4 spaces immediately to the right of the target store, ring along the edge of the building. one is handicapped. they might as well paint my name on that one. by going the back way, i avoid all traffic.i'm just navigating between 3 different shopping centers back lots. but it works for me.

and now for something really thought-provoking:

john lennon said it best.

giving thanks!

2011-11-21T21:09:00.000-08:00

i have something big to be thankful for:

i don't have to cook this year. i am going to my aunt's house. all i have to bring are drinks. those are easy enough to conjure up.

no dirty dishes, no sinks full of sorted china and crystal that take forever to wash and dry.

i think i am having a special christmas breakfast. i bought a stand that holds 12 appetizer plates, so i can use those and not have a million dishes to wash. those grandkids love some pork, so here is what the menu is shaping up to be:

scrambled eggs
a big ass ham
bacon
sausage links (and maybe patties too)
biscuits
sausage gravy
hashbrown casserole
pancakes or french toast (or maybe eggo waffles but cook them in the oven
hot cocoa
sweet tea

i have enough time to buy the things i need on sale between now and christmas. the ads are very good at the grocery store at this time of year. i will use my holiday book and write it all down.

did i ever tell you about the holiday book? it's a big red journal i got at some dirty santa game, but i like it. it's got a red leather cover and about 200 lines pages. i write a menu for each holiday i host and make out the shopping list. i also have a list of ingredients in each dish, so if i want to remove something from the menu, i know what ingredients i don't need to purchase. i also make copies of the recipes and tuck them into the journal. i make paper pockets and label everything. i also make a copy of the recipe to fit an index card and file them in the recipe box. it's a very martha thing to do.

i also feel being very fancy this chistmas, my gay friend is coming up and i love him to death. so we will drink sweet tea out of my best wal-mart goblets and dine off my pampered chef appetizer plates. we are doing a huge christmas feast of mainly appetizers and a ham. we also have the grub list of places to visit, like the mexican buffet. he's never been. the oriental huge buffet with a big sushi bar. the good sandwich shop from 30 years ago.

dang, i'm getting hungry!

the end of a nightmare

2011-11-08T12:32:00.000-08:00

i finished my little government project last night.. i called them as i had been instructed to do. i got two of the biggest assholes i have ever spoken to in my life. it seems like the more i make things right, the more they try to ruin my life. i was told to fax them in. sorry, too costly.

i offered to mail them via priority mail, with a tracking number. they said it would take too long for someone to record them as received. again, their problem, not mine.

i offered to take them into the nearest service center-the easiest option and that was when the crap it the fan.

i am not speaking ill of the mentally challenged, but i think this certain government agency hires mainly mental defects.they certainly have no souls.

i was told that even if i bring them in, they would still have 4 months to process them. they could also dip into my bank account or take my disability insurance. there was no way around that. i would need to set up a payment plan that would require me to pay $600 per month. sorry, not happening. not when you consider that when all is said and done, it was their mistake. i actually have a refund due, why should i make payment arrangements on money i don't owe?

i didn't sleep last night. at all.

luckily, i got someone today who actually knew their behind from a hole in the ground. she has put a freeze on collection efforts to give me time to get them the records. i have her name and number so i can call her again once i put the records in their hands, she will continue the freeze on the collection efforts. god bless you, ms. hooks!

she made up for the rude bastard i got last night. all i can say is, i hope a house falls on him. i got the impression that he doesn't have any balls at home, but double balls at work.

the bank is still playing their game of legal review. they missed another deadline and failed to call me yesterday. i was told they are having to get records pulled from various storage facilities because it was several years ago. if you have been following the news, in a lot of cases there are no actual documents to pull. if they had listened to my concerns before all the crap happened, the files would have been easy to access. i had to read part of a letter THEY wrote to me to their representative because she didn't have a copy of their own correspondence. they want me to think they kept up with all the records from years ago? they need to give up the game now. i plan on filing my case with the attorney after jan. 1, regardless of where they are in their little game.

i spoke with a mortgage lender and we discussed purchasing a house. i can start looking at the beginning of the year. i qualify for 2 programs- usda 5% mortgage and $14,999 down payment assistance. for a house comparable to the one i am in now, my house note will be about $250 less per month. the house i am in now is a lease-to-own, meaning i can walk away tomorrow with no consequences. i forfeit my down payment, but i plan on taking my appliances. i have had too many problems with this house to stay here. did i mention the sewage tank is full of roots because the builder didn't properly clear the land? i won't even go into the incident with the jacuzzi other than to say thank god i didn't turn the jets on while i was in it! i probably would have ended up with some 3rd world country disease. luckily, i have a separate shower.

my hope is that i will get a nice chunk of change from the bank and just buy a house, but i am looking into other options just in case. plus i have time to clear out my junk hoard in the garage. i will be burning up ebay and craigslist, turning junk into moola!

i keep telling myself that it will all be over soon, ending with me being in great favor sitting pretty and smelling like a rose. i pray a lot, probably selfish prayers, but i really identify with job.

i broke my blog!

2011-10-25T18:34:00.001-07:00

back in a few days!

crab rangoons with all the goodies!

2011-10-25T16:41:00.000-07:00

2 oz. crab meat, or more if you prefer
2 oz. salad shrimp, add more if you like
handful of green onions, chopped with scissors in tiny pieces
1 8z. block of cream cheese, softened
1 pkg. wonton wrappers
paint brush and water

mix crab, shrimp and green onions, chop into small pieces.
holding wonton in your palm, put a teasponful of cheese mixture.
paint two side sides of the wonton wrapper. fold sides over and seal. be sure you have no air bubbles. the wonton should smoothly form around the filling.air bubbles burst and fill up with grease.
fry wontons and turn frequently. they should be a light golden brown when done.
drain thoroughly. enjoy!

red hot jezebel

2011-10-25T16:34:00.001-07:00

1 8 oz. block cream
1/2 cup pepper jelly, brought to boil in a skillet- VERY HOT!

pur hot jelly over cream cheese. eat with crackers and fruit. very hot!

halloween confessions

2011-10-25T16:12:00.000-07:00

i know, it's a time when you're supposed to be scared. i celebrated halloween in a very special way- i would take off work for 1/2 day and decorate my yard with a lot of vintage halloween decoration i had collected on my thrifting runs. then i would pass out big ole goodies bags- including a toy, i gave away pinochle cards and hand-made seek-a-word puzzles rolled around a tiny golf pencil and tied with orange and black ribbons. it also included a black AND an orange wrapped taffy. then some gum. maybe a sucker.

i would put them in 2 different colored treat bags. so when they would meet at the door, i had them make a choice on the spot- trick? in the bags, or treak in the white bags? i saw terror on their faces as i saw the indecision in their eyes. trick or treat? trick or treat? i had kids come back and try to change, but i had a policy of you live with the choice you made.

what were in the bags were exactly the same, the fun in the bag was wondering what you missed out on. but everybody always got the same thing.

so, trick or treat, it didn't matter.

don't let october pass me by...

2011-10-19T13:54:00.000-07:00

i know, someone should beat me with a stick, really hard. i promised to be here more often but i have been been scattered. no other word comes close to describing everything going on.

i am still finishing up the evil evil main project. once i finish, i get a check with the statue of liberty on it!
i am working on finalizing financing for a new house in the town i moved from 4 years ago. the only problem is that while i am trying to get financing in place, the house i had my eye on SELLS! so i have to find another home. i have found one that has everything i want: 3 br/2ba, hardwood/tile/carpet in the two small bedrooms only, fenced yard, level lot and a roof line where i could easily have a covered porch added to the back concrete pad. i am purposely not pulling it up on the internet, so the ethereal evil spirits won't see how excited i am about it.
my mom spent a week here and i can see how much her condition has deteriorated. she was being very argumentative about every little detail and very demanding about things that were unimportant. it's time for my sister to begin thinking about putting her in a home. my sister is being resistant because she claims to need the money for her household to function. whatever.

i have upset about stuff i see in the news, more so than ever before. baby lisa being taken in the night. the bronx baby who overdosed because it was given a bottle of pills to use as a rattle. the 9 year old who was driving her drunken father home. i think i am going through some hormone thing.

i am going out to dinner with my husband, my son, his wife, her mother and father, and her cousin i have a school girl crush on. yeah, a crush. on a big old teddy of a guy who is 6 years younger than me and just as friendly as can be. i hate to admit it, 46 year old women shouldn't have crushes on younger men. but i do. we are celebrating the birthdays of my daughter-in-law and the cousin. if i give him a birthday smooch, i guess i'll have to keep my tongue to myself. haha. i'm not taking any chances, i got him a birthday card and a starbucks card. i'm keeping my hands to myself.

46 year old women also shouldn't spend hours coloring in "hello kitty" coloring books. but i do.

maybe one day i will grow up and be responsible.

i hope not.

fall is falling...

2011-09-28T13:11:00.000-07:00

sorry i have been MIA. i am trying up a lot of loose ends from my various evil projects:

i am expecting a check with the statue of liberty on it! turns out their boo-boo is my windfall!
i am waiting on a certain bank to send me a settlement offer, leading to...
i am looking for a new home, one which i will NOT owe a house note on!

my mysterious pain has disappeared. i think the "low-fat, no booze, no beef" diet worked. i am bringing this issue up to my doctor the next time i go. i hope it's nothing. i am no longer bed-bound!

looking for a new house is a fun thing. but i can't get my husband to agree on everything. my only stipulation is that we don't owe anyone a penny on it! it doesn't have to be perfect, since we can do renovations with the funds we are paying the house note with now. i am in a lease-to-purchase deal. i will lose the money i put down, but the guy i am buying the house from has failed repeatedly to fix things. my drive-way is a muddy slip-n-slide. the septic system is malfunctioning- and that's one thing that MUST work! i let him know that if we move i expect my deposit back. he says its not refundable but i reminded him of all the unfixed things we have going on around here. i can always take the appliances which would reimburse me a bit. i told him i would be taking them if we can't resolve things. he make a quick promise to fix them- but that was 3 weeks ago!

i am looking at older homes, homes that have been occupied long enough so the bugs are worked out. the home i lost was brand new and the builder did a crappy job. one of the cable outlets was connected to nothing, just slapped on the drywall and screwed in. we went back to the neighborhood and it is really run down. i told the bank in no uncertain terms i didn't want the house back- i want CASH! i am waiting for them to send their first offer to settle and i'm sure there will be a little back and forth there. i have an attorney on the back burner ready to hope on it at a moment's notice, so i won't be wait too long for an acceptable offer. i don't want the statute of limitations to run out.

i talked about my garden before, but it was so hot and i was sick, so i wasn't able to take care of it. i ended up getting 6 edible tomatoes, i think. back in april, my granddaughter had planted a brandywine tomato plant in the shade and i didn't want to hurt her feeling by moving it. surprisingly, it has 8 eight tomatoes on it right now. the plant is so large i ended up putting a 4 foot wire trellis to support it! i hope they ripen enough for me to get to eat them. it's getting colder, but since we are in the south, maybe the warm weather will hold out long enough to do them some good!

i went swimming the other night at a friend's heated pool. it felt great and i slept like a baby that night. the next morning, however, everything hurt! i guess i need to grow a tail and become a mermaid.

did anyone see the item about starbucks writing an obscenity on a woman's cup in the new york area? if i ever get a starbucks cup handed to me with the word BITCH written on it, you can bet soon they will be calling it leebucks. i don't go to starbucks often, usually just when i have a free gift card i got somewhere. i got a keurig coffeemaker from ebay, for .01 and free shipping. YES, one shiny penny! it makes delicious coffee, i just wish the k-cups were cheaper. i have found you can use each k-cup twice and the coffee is still good. who needs to drive 23 miles to starbucks when i can walk to the kitchen and get a cup just as delicious for 1/10th the price? if anybody calls me a bitch, i can just hit him in the back of the head with a hammer!

later, gators! i promise to be back here on a regular basis! i'm better and life has gone from black-and-white to brilliant technicolor!

*i apologize there are no photos today- blogger is being a true blue starbucks bitch! i will add them later! please don't give up on me! oh, and i think it's time for a new cake!

how many seasons do we have again?

2011-08-30T17:16:00.000-07:00

i am wondering how the weather will play out. we've had lots of weirdo weather- an earthquake in nyc, hurricane irene torturing the eastern seaboard, the mississippi river flooding for the first time in 100 years. bad.

the school of thought is that the hotter the summer is, the colder the winter will be. oh crap! we have had a lot of very hot days, days where bobo and i just laid around in next-to-our-undies and let the ceiling fan cool us off. we had a plant atomizer of water we used to mist ourselves, to get that good breeze going.

at one point in the summer, we had a problem with the a/c, and i had to deal with the asshole a/c guy- he's the one who showed up drunk and claimed to be his own twin brother. yeah, the one who showed up late over an hour and didn't call or apologize. yeah, the one who showed up almost an hour early and spent the time sitting in my driveway on his cell phone. this time he showed up and claimed it was a part not covered by the warranty. uuuummm, the entire a/c unit is still under warranty! but this would cost me $800 and $200 labor. he said it would take 10 days to get the part. no! he ended up cursing me and slamming the door so hard my perfume bottles a room away rattled.

i ended up getting the company to send someone out how could handle a warranty call. it only cost me $125 and it wasn't even the same part that was broken, it was only a $200 part that was covered under the warranty.

might i mention this flaky guy has a jesus fish on his business card? way to go!

anyway, back off the soapbox!

i hope we have a good autumn, more than just a few days here and there where we're not boiling or freezing. when you can wear a hoodie and not be cold or hot. 65 degrees, i guess.

i'm afraid we'll end up losing spring and autumn, and having only 2 seasons, hot and not hot. i should check with the utility company and see if i will have natural gas. otherwise, i need to start saving for propane!

i miss the fall days, walking home from school or going for a walk on the week-ends. jeans and hiking shoes. sweatshirts. thermals. plaid flannel shirts. ok, i miss the autumn fashions i guess! the crisp air and the smell of leaves burning remind me of when my friends would have bonfires at the empty lot, and toast marshmallows and hotdogs while they passed bottles and cans of stolen beer around.

but now i'm older and i miss those days. i miss the seasons, i guess. the seasons will become a myth, an urban legend.

but aren't we supposed to cease to exist on december 21, 2012? oh, well, never mind then. won't be my problem.

censorship

2011-08-28T13:27:00.000-07:00

like most of you, i am on facebook. i have a unique "name" that is well-known to people who know me but would meaning nothing to strangers. i have friends and family on there. i can sometimes be a bit bawdy, but i never crossed any major lines and i respected the people on there.

but suddenly, my preacher friended me!

and i accepted!

so i really have to watch what i say now. no one who knows me reads my blog except for one person and she better call me! you know who you are! i kind of liked the anonymity of the web. now my preacher even knows me! no more dirty jokes or snarking replies to stuff.

i gotta be good.

so i may begin using the facebook account linked on the sidebar. if i do, will you be my friend?

dinner

2011-08-25T18:00:00.000-07:00

my husband is cooking chicken legs in the oven and i have a bag of salad mix. i've got popsicles and yogurt to eat if i want dessert or a snack later.

this diet sucks, but if it keeps me pain-free, i'll eat it!

i saw "the help" last week-end and i liked it. i think i might like the book better. i kept meaning to read it but never got around to doing it. the movie has a lot of characters and it was hard to keep them straight. i am easier able to follow along if i read the names.

dirty little secret

2011-08-25T17:40:00.000-07:00

today i was told someone's dirty little secret.

it wasn't THEIR dirty secret, it was the dirty secret of their pedophile rapist. i explained that to them.

their rapist is someone i know.

someone i never liked anyway.

i feel rage, that someone could do something like that to a little child, even though the rapist was the same age. i want to hurt him.

i want to call up his rich mother and tell her what a little pervert she raised.

add this to my stress already and i am very "on the edge" tonight. i can't concentrate on doing any paperwork. i am going to bust it starting tomorrow.

i promise.

time for a party...

2011-08-25T17:19:00.000-07:00

...a pity party! if i come off as a bit whiny, please forgive me and check back later. i'm just going to vent. hope everyone is okay with that...

i have been in constant pain. it is in my pancreas. i played dr. google and discovered that diet can help, so i adopted the low-fat, no beef, and no booze pancreas diet.

i am also trying to avoid overly spicy foods. i may as well give my intestines a little rest.

it has helped. the pancreas pain has decreased but not disappeared.

to be honest, i'm terrified.

i took a diabetes drug that, it has been discovered, will shred your pancreas apart.

i have an appointment with the doctor next week. i explained everything and i'm getting a hefty discount, he may end up charging me nothing at all.

per drs. orders, i have contacted an attorney and i have proof i took the prescription, which was my biggest obstacle in filing an accutane lawsuit. i have that proof and my life insurance policy in a vinyl clear envelope in my nightstand.

i am scared something is really wrong.

patrick swayze died from pancreatic cancer. bobo's cousin died from pancreatic cancer- he was going to the doctor on wednesday and they buried him on a saturday. he never had any symptoms until 5 days before he died.

i am afraid to go to the doctor. i am trying to get things accomplished now, so i don't have to deal with them once i get my diagnosis and have to go through whatever the treatment is....or whatever the treatment isn't.

i am finishing up my evil job of recreating my financial landscape for one certain government agency. i am afraid i have missed a deadline and i spoke to them about it today. i'm screwed. she said they initiate a levy again at anytime. of course, i just have to call and get it extended again, if they reissue it. i am SO CLOSE to finishing the whole darn thing. i keep going back and adding things. right now, i am due a refund, which pisses me off, because they want me to make payment arrangements to keep them from collecting. just give me a few days! please, for the love of god, give me until monday!

end of pity party!

sumo

2011-08-11T16:31:00.000-07:00

has anyone heard about the famous/infamous mommy blogger who posted a picture of a couple of her children doing the naked dirty dancing thing? i'm not including the link because i find she is repugnant.

she also linked her blog from a craig's list ad for a garage sale, so she handed out her address to anyone who looked there.

when did it become okay to give out your address to anyone who has a computer?

i really have no words for this.

as a child, my sister and i were called over to a parked car. i stood on my bike and refused. she ran over before i could catch her.

he wanted directions. he had a map.

he had no pants on under his map.

and he asked her because you know what well developed senses of direction 5 year-olds have.

she backed away and he drove off.

i had a flasher once. in the spring of 9th grade. right after the ceremony that wasn't. i told the women in the office and they called the police. i was called out during first period. the rumor was i had brought a pound of pot and it had been found in my locker. they just talked to me. they had already found him. he was the mentally challenged brother of one of my friends. did i want to press charges? no, i couldn't do that to jack. his parents promised to get his brother further help.

in both cases, we were victimized, no matter how slightly.

but i don't think my mother ran nekid fotos or published and address out in the paper.

damn you, internet!