The Glass House Recaps

Super Secret Live Feed - Tuesday, July 31

2012-08-02T22:03:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I did manage to find the super secret live feed from Tuesday that wasn't supposed to air. No, I'm not saying where (and I don't remember). Most of it is the players just sitting around, staring into space, or answering the same questions over and over, so I'm not doing a full recap, but let me cover the basics.

The players are all called in the living room. There are several stands set up, each with a player's stone with his name on it. Each of them stand behind his/her stone. I can't see what's on the screen at this point.
Joy and Mike come up the tubes, but remain in the elevators. They're not let out to roam the house.
The players are told (not by Ori, but by one of the producers) what's going on: One of them will be able to take the money and run. Throughout the night, Ori will randomly display different monetary amounts on her screen for sixty seconds. Each time the amounts change, a tone will sound, so they'll know to check it out. At any point, one of them can pick up their stone and throw it at the TV (Well, I imagine they're not really breaking the TV - it's got to be that X-box technology they use when voting against the other players). That player will get the amount of money written on the screen. In the background, Stephanie looks pensive. Most of the other players are confused and not terribly interested.
The producer goes on to explain that this is absolutely final, they are leaving the show forever.
Earlier in the day, the viewers voted on Joy v. Mike. If any of the current players takes the money, Mike or Joy will take that person's place. They do not disclose which of them it will be.
They're also reminded that there is no second place, so it's $250,000 or nothing.
Erica asks if they can talk to Joy and Mike, and they say yes.
Gene basically sets up camp outside Joy's tube. He tells her that he would leave in a heartbeat if he knew that she was the one returning. She tells him not to be stupid, she wouldn't let him do it. He laughs, because she physically can't stop him.
The other players are talking to Mike, who I am trying hard to pretend doesn't exist.
One by one, all the players are being asked about the money. It's weird, because you'd think they'd be in the confessional, but I can see the camera footage on the living room while I hear the questions. I can't see the person talking to the camera.
Stephanie says that she has a unique perspective that the other remaining contestants do not. She's been in the bottom two weeks in a row. She knows exactly where the viewers rank her. None of the others (except maybe Andrea) can say that. For that reason, Steph thinks she's probably more tempted than the others.
Gene says something like "If it's not six figures, you're wasting my time." He walks away. Erica seems offended that he could make fun of thousands of dollars. I mean, I can see how, if you think you're about to win $250k, someone offering you $5k instead could be a little insulting.
The one amount I see is $7,777. No one takes it. They were told that the amounts could go up or down, so that tells us nothing.
Eventually, someone figures out that the camera is streaming where it shouldn't be, and the feed cuts out.

So, that's what happened on Tuesday, and that's what we should see on Monday. We know from Wednesday's live feed that Stephanie decided to take the money at some point Tuesday night. We don't know how much, or if ABC will even tell us. Not that it really matters. From what we saw, unless ABC was intending to do a crazy twist to take the control out of the players' hands, she wasn't going to be able to win, anyway. America doesn't like smart people (that's so sad). We also know that Mike took her place, which completely screwed the entire dynamic of the show. The combination of the loss of the most engaging character, Erica's being dragged into complete insanity by her vagina, and finding that America actually wanted that insufferable ass on their TVs, the show went from "painfully bad" to "completely unwatchable." Maybe my perception will change after Monday's episode airs (or when I'm no longer on vacation, but... if nothing else, I'm afraid for the live feeds, because no one but Stephanie ever responded to organize things when Ori told them to do something. It's going to be, even more, everyone else standing around looking like idiots (especially since Kevin and Andrea can't be bothered to do what the viewers say anyway). No, thank you.

A Note

2012-08-01T17:28:00.002-07:00

I'm sorry guys, but I'm done. No more live feeds, no more videos. I simply can't watch anymore. Stephanie took the money and left, and Mike has returned in her place. That's like stealing my diamond earrings and smashing poop in my face as a fair exchange. I can't deal with it. Erica has inexplicably gone over to the dark side. Since Kevin will likely stop speaking to her now that he has his best friend back (and the numbers have dramatically switched), it's just going to be embarrassing to watch her. Looks like Erica and Gene going to limbo this week. I... Nope. Can't do it.

I will watch next Monday's episode to get a handle on exactly what happened, and I will recap it, but that's it. This show is just.... I can no longer spend three hours a night watching people lie around, sigh heavily, insult each other, and sleep. If I wanted to do that, I'd go hang out with my family. At least I could participate. I'm sorry, but I'm done.

Live Feed - Tuesday, July 31, Evening

2012-08-01T11:35:00.000-07:00

Thanks to G for helping me with this one, since I wasn't in a position to watch the feed and, well, I'm on vacation, so I don't want to spend all day watching it on YouTube.

Starts on a giggle – lifesaver mints comments and a look at Andrea …
Andrea thought she was going to die young (before 20) – now she gives herself to her mid-80’s. If only...
Hangin’ w/ Erica & Kevin …

Kevin likes the Dave Chapell jokes … about smoking just knocking of your wheelchair & diaper years
Steph & Gene are yawning. Steph is thinking about taking a nap. Soooooo … Jeffrey IS taking a nap. Yawn ..
Yawn … Seriously, nothing is happening.

Ori – Hello? Are you listening? Vote for Gene or Holly to come back … ends at 9 pm pacific time
They’re talking about the previous bird in the air toss challenge … oooooh! How others did in the previous challenges … Was Andrea not really trying at ski ball? Or does she just suck at it?

Feed seems to be looping. Shocking, right? ABC screwed up the technical bits again?
Steph gave her team as much as they gave her. The wouldn’t communicate to her & she didn’t talk back.
Windmill challenge – Steph suggests that Andrea & Kevin didn’t try, because they didn’t really try to help Holly. They basically kissed Holly good-bye when they saw who the team captains were.

Back to the Alliance

They’re talking about the tweets
Erica has gotten so drunk that she’s sent tweets and doesn’t remember what they were. “Now America knows that I’m a hot mess.” Oh, sweetie. We knew the second time you climbed into bed with Kevin. Possibly earlier.
Kevin – is suggesting to be ridiculous w/ the tweet #. #BabyJesus #ChicagoBulls #theword#
Our demographic = …
Their demographic – young, single partiers
Andrea: We’re not hitting the same demographics. Your demographic seems to be people who give a shit enough to actually vote, so shut up.
Erica thinks the popularity order is …Andrea, Kevin and then her 3 … maybe … maybe tied w/ Jeffrey.
Andrea thinks she & Kevin have the exact same demographic and Erica should split the vote.
Who should be pitted against who in the end …Maybe they should all just leave!
Kevin: “I see your #TeamHollywood and raise you a #TeamWorld”

TeamBrokenBonds

Gene & Steph still talking about each of the challenges & how they tried or didn’t, and how others did or didn’t try.
Challenge 1 – Stephanie tried & was glad she did. Well, yes. She won. Gene said he & Apollo disagreed, which lost them time.
Challenge 2 – Pillow tossing as if in the bird challenge. Gene explains that he did what he could to catch the bad throws (from Holly) and to toss to a moving target (Mike). Explaining that he didn’t try to throw the challenge. Blah blah blah.
Gene regrets not kissing Joy before she left. But… wait. Erica told us that they made out early on. Is Gene… *gasp*… LYING TO US? NOOOOOO!! (Ok. I don’t care).

TeamAlliance

Kevin talking about Ashley …
The Fauxmance is over … no is the Nomance
Kevin says if he & Mike were on The Amazing Race together, they’d miss every flight b/c they’re hungover. That would be awesome, because we wouldn’t have to see them.
Kevin & Ashley apparently said they’d stay out of each other’s way and he woke up one morning thinking they wouldn’t talk to each other for 2 weeks. And then Ashley said “Morning, Boo!” Really? That would make me dislike her more, not less.
Andrea comments how it’s funny that they fight & make up, fight & make up, like an old married couple. That’s because Kevin wants to ruin your perfect marriage and perfect life and do naughty things to you, then vote you out of the house.

They’re all pretty bored. Waiting for something to happen. “What does Ori have in store for them?” they wonder. They’re not the only ones. I’d rather be listening to the rain outside. It’s more peaceful.
Stuff happens. Actually, it doesn’t. I’m lying. This is so boring.
Steph & Gene in the kitchen –

Dream world … Gene wins … Takes joy on a dream date … to Disney world.
Kevin drives a Honda accord. Bought it used.
Kevin has no desire to be in a Ferrari or Lambourghini. He wants a Shelby GT650.
He’d get Erica a … what? A less cool miata.
Kevin is a believer in the Mustang.
…
sorry, brain had to wander for a couple of mins …

What’s going on ? It’s 7 pm and we haven’t heard anything. Take that ABC. We’re just going to bed. They randomly speculate on what may or may not happen. Since I’ll know soon enough, I don’t care.
Technically difficulties. My feed just went completely black.

It’s a relief, really. Ahh… listen to the rain …. Best part of the entire feed.
Oh, there it is. Darn.

They’re serving dinner and you KNOW that they’re extremely BORED when they’re making up their own songs. (Well, OK, Stephanie does that all the time, anyway. But not everyone else.)
Steph said that as captain for the last 2 weeks, she was given a choice for teams (Teams of 2 or three) and type of challenge. She said she picked overnight endurance challenge, but then retracts & said she’s joking – can’t tell you what type of challenge.
Now they’re looking at the caricatures …

Did Steph just compare Kevin to Obama & Ryan Gosling in 1 minute?
My feed is frozen. I can hear them, but the screen is stuck. Whatever.

They have been sequestered to the bedroom area & they’re still waiting to find out what they’ll be doing …

What? So, Steph says that they told her that the audience will choose the teams (I don’t see any vote for this). Is she just messing with them?

Would you rather …?

Have thumbtacks deeply embedded under the nails on one hand or spend a whole night at the circus w/ your family?

Does a thumbtack have to be enough just to stick?
No, has to be bloody jammed into there.
Circus have little people? Carnie people?

Would you rather be murdered by a serial killer OR take a nice 45 minute nap at home while its raining outside? I’m not sure they understand this game. I’m going to try my own…
Would you rather have to watch the Live Feeds of The Glass House over and over for the rest of your life, or go blind and deaf?

Literally, nothing is happening. I’m not just whining about being bored - I’m bored. Nothing is going on. Andrea is doing laundry & unpacking her suitcase.

Looks like we’re watching her b/c she’s the only one up.

I’m told that, after this feed ended, Joy and Mike were brought up the tubes and the players were told that we voted on bringing one of them back into the house IF one of the remaining players would like to take a certain amount of money and go. Different sum flashed across the screen. Unfortunately, I can’t fucking find the goddamn feed, I didn’t see it, I’m having a shitty day, and I hate this stupid show. So, I give up. If I see Mike’s smug, asshole-y face when the stream starts today, I quit.

Live Feed - Monday, July 30, Part 2

2012-08-01T07:34:00.000-07:00

Here is the remainder of Scarly's guest blog from Monday night. Thank you, Scarly! I just hope you guys don't really like her recaps better than mine...

I’m nice and rested and now emotionally ready to handle another 2 hours of Glass House-a-palooza. Unfortunately, I’m relying on a youtube video since last night’s live feed isn’t posted yet on ABC’s site. They had some technical difficulties, so there’s a chunk of video missing between where I ended yesterday and where I am starting out today.

Wait, why am I saying, “unfortunately?” I get to watch like 10 mins less of footage with no guilt. If one of the glassholes solved world peace in that 10 min stretch, I will submit a formal letter of apology to Snarky. My guess is that the players found out they have to eat haggis and stood around awkwardly waiting for the next activity to start. I’m sure it won’t be too hard to fill in the blanks.

Jeffrey’s in the confessional and asked if he’s going to join with Kevin and Andrea. Woah! WTF! What are they doing to his voice? I have no idea what he’s doing. Forget the players, are the PRODUCERS drunk? I think he’s attemping to sing and being...autotuned. I had a microphone that sounded like that when I was a kid. Wow, bad 80s memories flooding back. He’s going on and on. I catch the phrase “Wacka wacka.”
Jeffrey’s now back in the kitchen and talking to Stephanie and Erica and I’m not listening because I’m still traumatized. I should have had warning.
I think Jeffrey is singing his “song” for the others. Hard to tell, because it’s not particularly recognizable without the autotuning.
Oh fuck. He just mentioned being the one to go first. That means we get this autotuned nightmare from the rest? I was hoping the rest had gone super quickly during my missing 10 mins.
Stop. Steph. Seriously. You’re my favorite on the show right now, but if you convince Gene and Jeffrey to go au naturel under their kilts, I may have to rethink our alliance.
In case her trying to convince them to remove their undies wasn’t traumatic enough the first time, now ABC is replaying that little mindfuck.
We learn that Gene sends out 30 tweets at a time, taking him 10-15 mins each time he tweets.
The live feed loops back. Again. Ok, maybe I lied when I said I was emotionally ready to tackle this particular live feed.
Gene thinks Cali people are watching the live feed and the episode at the same time. Not likely. I’m not sure there’s anyone in California bothering with either unless they’re related to a contestant.
Speaking of Cali contestants: it’s sad to think of how much Andrea misses her family. PSA to the dear viewers: if you haven’t already, please take a moment to help reunite a mother with her children. One vote can make all the difference.
Gay boys enjoy kissing. That’s about the only thing I’m understanding with the incredibly drunk conversation that Jeffrey and Erica are currently having. Oh, I think he’s telling her to get a life and leave Kevin alone. The camera operator agrees, because it suddenly switches focus to Kevin standing by himself, juggling an orange.
My feed freezes and I take a moment to marvel that this YouTube video has had 175 hits in under 24 hours. I didn’t think that 175 people had even heard of the show. Fascinating.
So Jeffrey has to change his cell phone number when he gets back? Because he’ll be a huge celebrity?
Are Jeffrey and Erica doing some kind of extended improv bit? Or do they think they are? (I read that they’re actually both aspiring comedians.)I have no idea what is going on.
Stephanie and Gene are using their caricatures to talk to the camera. But Stephanie keeps peeking around hers. Something about a fake showmance. Coming from Gene. I am officially lost and if it weren’t for the kilts would think I’d downloaded a different live feed than I started last night.
They ask Kevin why he’s being so serious. “It’s a serious game.” I beg to differ. This is the game that made players mix potato salad with their feet.
Stephanie observes that no one else has been called to the confessional other than Jeffrey yet. Were the producers as traumatized as I was?
I wonder how the players will feel when they get out of the house and realize they’ve spent months of their lives on a reality show with almost no viewers and no one knows or cares who they are. It’s actually a little sad.
It’s time for another vote: France v Germany. Stephanie predictably freaks out over Germany. I guess I totally missed the haggis vote.
The viewers choose France for attire. Erica thinks it’s because it’s sluttier, I think it’s because the 8 people still watching know that Stephanie is all about Germany and they’re not going to throw her a bone like that.
Looks like they’re dressing as mimes. Short/low-cut lederhosen would have been much sluttier if that’s what the viewers were going for.
They waited until Gene was in the middle of stripping to tell him it’s time to enter the singing room of death.
A viewer asks a question about him and Joy and what happens if she loses. I seriously can’t focus on his actual words. I don’t think Ori can either.
It looks like Gene was jerking off during his next answer. Or maybe that shake weight is hiding in the confessional. Combined with his screeching/singing I’m really glad I didn’t watch this bit before I tried to sleep last night.
Peace out, Gene.
Viewers give them french food and champagne. Sorry, Stephanie.
Stephanie has just informed the viewers that she doesn’t speak French. In German. (See, mom and dad, my German graduate degree wasn’t a waste of time/money!)
(Just kidding, my parents will never see this.)
(Just kidding, it WAS a waste.)
Kevin: if you could mute 1 player, who would you mute? His answer: Stephanie. He doesn’t like her only talking about science stuff and food labels. Kevin just endears himself to me more every day.
Stephanie also has the weirdest quirk per Kevin: she’s a neat freak. She likes to clean up and asks other people to do the same. From what I’ve read on twitter about people leaving glass and crap (literally) around, I can’t say I would do anything but thank her.
Erica’s turn. She kisses more viewer ass by saying it’s a “good question” when asked her favorite outfit in the Glass House. Yeah, it’s really not.
“I like Kevin, but I’ll never know until this is over whether he has feelings or not.” Let me save you the suspense, sweetie. It’s not.
I’ve decided that the 8th level of hell has sing-song autotuning.
Erica slips in another quick viewer ass kissing. And a reference to Kevin being her best friend. In pretty much one very long breath.
She thinks meeting Kevin is better than $250k. Ok, there’s nothing more I can do here.
Stephanie’s turn. She takes a moment to adjust the twins before heading into the confessional.
What makes her different from the other players? She has a brain, she keeps cool and rational. And then I lose it because she’s “singing” at lightening speed. I’m guessing it has something to do with reading labels and speaking about atoms and protons.
Giggling with autotuning is highly unsettling.
Kudos to Stephanie for attempting to occasionally rhyme. She keeps forgetting to “sing” though. I thank her for that.
Stephanie thinks the viewers will recognize and appreciate hard work. Her days are numbered. This makes me sad.
Time for players to change into something athletic. Also time for the West Coast pandering.
Welcome, West Coast viewers. Clearly you will only watch AFTER your episode aired and would not have bothered tuning in for the 2 hours before the episode was on TV. At least since the producers have low expectations they won’t be disappointed.
This portion of the YouTube video is done and I go find a snack and a drink to hopefully sustain me through the final hour of this award-worthy broadcast.
Ok, kids. 55:36 to go. We can do this!
On Planet Stephanie, athletic wear includes a pink tutu. Awesome!
Now we’re being told again about the vote we get tomorrow (now tonight). If we somehow managed to pull off a coup and get rid of Andrea and she comes back I will quit this show. I’m not kidding.
Time to hear again about the players in limbo. I’m not recapping anything unless someone does a big flip flop. Gene’s up 1st and you KNOW he’s not flipping.
I love that Steph mentions that the only 2 “confirmed” boob jobs are in limbo right now. It’s the Battle of the Boob Jobs!
Why does a conservative Mormon who is all about modesty have a boob job to begin with? Think of all the anti-civil-rights organizations you could support with that money!
I wonder what the people are doing that aren’t in the confessional. I bet Kevin and Erica are making out, knowing the cameras will be tied up for a while. I’d ponder more, but Ori just cut Stephanie off so Erica can get her turn.
I officially say goodbye to my girl-crush on Erica as she slides deeper and deeper into betraying Joy. I tune out and come back just in time to hear her say “I cheat now and then but it’s going well.” I’m not sure if she’s talking about quitting smoking or her gameplay.
No, Erica, Andrea has not changed. She’s the same snake she was in the beginning of the game. She’s just (temporarily) not plotting against you in lieu of easier prey.
Jeffrey’s turn. Nothing to see here. Move along.
I think Kevin’s opening is scripted to be exactly what he said the first time around.
Look, Kevin, I think it’s great that Andrea’s devoted to her religion. That is admirable. What is NOT admirable is when she feels the need to force people to conform to her religious beliefs. That’s when the admirable nature of her beliefs stop and she just becomes a bully. I don’t understand why he’s not getting this. Ok, I’ll step off my soapbox, now. All this Andrea love is getting to me.
Back to the living room. The players are forced to draw circles on the floor. Steph is directing them. I will laugh in the future if she’s gone and everyone stands around staring at each other whenever asked to do something. ABC may be forced to provide actual props then.
They’re going to do turtle races. Turtles barely move, right? How long as we going to stare at these poor animals standing in one spot?
Ori seems to be getting impatient. This must not be moving fast enough for the producers. They realize they chose TURTLES, right?
Kevin’s turtle made a beeline for the finish line and then stopped right on the edge and turned around. I love that the turtle just gave a great big Fuck You to Kevin.
We’re back to Jeffrey who’s freaking out because a turtle somehow peed on his face. Wait, this happened already. Damn, another loop courtesy of the ABC interns.
The race is over. Stephanie won on a technicality. Not sure what technicality that would be.
Ori told them to turn the turtles back in and then that crazy lady changed her mind. “Let’s do it again.” Because it was stimulating viewing the first time.
Stephanie won again. She is the turtle whisperer.
They’re doing a 3rd and final race. ABC shared my expectation of turtle speed and expected it to last longer.
My boyfriend just came home and is staring transfixed at the turtle race on my computer screen. Maybe this is better viewing than I realized. Or maybe not...he also watches soccer and astronomy documentaries on tv.
I momentarily find my boyfriend more interesting than the feed and am not motivated enough to go back and find out who won the 3rd race. Not like it really matters if it’s best out of 3.
We get to have an awards ceremony. Gene won gold in football. Kevin won gold in archery. Jeffrey and Stephanie get very excited about splitting bronze. They realize that means they came in 3rd and 4th of out 5? Stephanie won gold for the turtle race.
All the medal winners line up in a row. Erica is the only one remaining seated. Awwwwww.
Ori: “And for the person without a medal....” *rooster sound effect* Huh?
Good night, Kevin. Good night, Erica. (Btw your motif has officially become a rooster crowing.) Good night, Jeffrey. Good night, Stephanie. Good night John Boy...er...Gene. (I think I missed his goodbye.)
Good night glitchy feed that kept repeating all night.
Good night, ABC interns running the video.
Good night, Ori. Don’t worry - we know all about the special vote and trivia contest next week.
Oh wait, the feed isn’t quite done. We have a few minutes of the players thinking the live feed is done. I wonder if they let us vote to bring back a player who hasn’t been sequestered and, if so, whether they’ll spill the beans on all the secret live footage.
Erica and Kevin are talking. I can hear very loud ice clinking, but not them. But their body language said it all - Erica was about ready to leap onto his lap and he was physically putting himself as far from her as he could. Then the feed suddenly cut out.
The End. I survived.

I now have a new girl-crush on Snarky (I had an opening after the Erica defection). She rocks for doing this all the time - I hope you give her some love.

Live Feed - Tuesday, July 31, Afternoon

2012-07-31T13:07:00.003-07:00

Erica and Kevin are in the Enemies room, discussing doing everything to whore themselves out to get in the tabloids and become more famous. I expect that Kevin is joking and Erica is not.
Ori asks, if we could see one of the last two people eliminated return to the house, who would it be? There is a special three-hour vote tonight.
Ori calls them into the living room. They’re all ignoring her. Stephanie and Jeffrey are talking in the kitchen. Oh, I think Ori forgot to switch it so everyone could hear her rather than just us. Glad to see that ABC’s tech team is consistent, if nothing else.
Gene is missing. They say that he accidentally locked himself in the Twitter room? Awesome. Ok, no, he’s here.
Someone on Tout asks if there are any stereotypes about the places where they grew up and whether they fit?

Stephanie’s home town, a little town near Cincinnati, has a stereotype that no one ever leaves. She’s lived all over the world, so she definitely doesn’t fit.
Kevin wants to talk about all the great things about Toledo. I’m never going to Toledo, I don’t like Kevin, and I don’t care.
Jeffrey is originally from Orange County, and he doesn’t remotely fit any of the stereotypes - not ultra-blond, fake tan, ultra conservative. He “ran away from the Orange curtain.” He does think he fits a lot of the NYC stereotypes. I love NYC, and I love Jeffrey, so that works.
Erica grew up like 10 miles from Stephanie, even though she’s now in Denver. Anyway, she’s talking about conservative people, which she is not, and sheltered, which she is not. She agrees with Steph’s thing, where the idea is that no one ever leaves.
Gene says that he feeds into a lot of the Chicago stereotypes - he loves the food, and Jordan, and Mayor Daly, but in other ways he’s not what you would expect. I honestly have no expectations re: what people from Ohio or Chicago or like.

My feed messes up for the 2000th time, so I have to watch an extremely obnoxious commercial as I refresh. The commercials on the East Coast are way less irritating.
Babies! It sounds like someone asked who in the house they’d like to have a baby with.

I missed Gene’s answer, because ABC sucks
Stephanie would choose to have a baby with Jeffrey.
Jeffrey was going to say Erica until Steph went on and on about how awesome he is, and, if he has a baby with Erica, he’s going to need custody.
Kevin said that he would “also” like to have a baby with Gene, so I guess Gene says Kevin. Kevin thinks they’ll have some big, strapping linemen, and he’d like to have an entire basketball team, not just one.
Erica says Kevin has gorgeous feet. I’m so grossed out. She wants a baby with Kevin. If you didn’t guess that, you’re actually too stupid to be watching this (and that’s saying a LOT).
Oh! The tout was asked by Erica’s sister-in-law! That’s so funny. She said she was like, “What a cute baby. Looks like my nephew.” And then she realized that it was! Damn you, ABC, for making me watch this!

What is the creepiest thing that’s happened in the house? If Gene, was it watching Jeffrey kiss Joy?

Stephanie said watching Alex walk out in Joy’s underwear.
Erica says it was when she stalked Jeffrey after the fake makeout session, and said, “But, so… what are we now?” He says it was hilarious, though, because now he knows what it’s like to make out with girls. That’s funny.
Kevin says it was totally the kissing competition. Way too many emotions going on.
Stephanie mentions that night Jeffrey put on his hoodie outside and was knocking on the window with a stone. I saw that video. That was creepy. Erica agrees.
Gene says that it was when Alex came out in Joy’s underwear and you couldn’t tell he was male. He also said that Joy would offer him a bite of something off her fork, and then Alex would ask for the same bite off the same form that Gene and Joy had used. That’s bizarre.
Gene thought that watching Joy and Jeffrey make out was totally hot, because if she could be that hot in a fake make out, kissing her must be amazing. Watching Jeffrey and Erica was more awkward.
Erica clarifies that her sister-in-law is her new favorite Touter, rather than random blue-haired guy.
Oddly enough, I can’t think of anything I want to do less than appear on Ori’s video wall.

Damn. The mildly entertaining portion of the live feed is over, so we transition to the weird and awkward bullshit portion of the feed.

They have to blow bubbles and we’re voting? No. Can’t we just SEE the biggest? Why do we need to vote?
Huh. My ass is falling asleep. Maybe it missed my brain.

To keep us from falling asleep, Ori reads a tweet asking how they would change their strategy if they found they were just riding someone’s coattails.

Erica spends a lot of time saying no, in a weird roundabout way.
Steph thinks that you need to better define yourself as an individual if people are only voting for you because they like someone else. You can’t win that way.
Gene says that some people seem to have a strategy that is 100% riding someone else’s coattails.
Kevin says, if you’re doing that, “Hold on tight and keep riding!” Good point, although Steph’s was better
Huh. Guess I missed what Jeffrey said. Oh, well.

Ori says that we voted on whether we enjoyed their answers? I didn’t see that, but I appreciate that Ori played a sound effect of booing.
As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? Are you doing that now?

My questions are all totally better than this one.
Stephanie wanted to be a teacher. She’s not doing that now, although she did teach six grade for two years. My sister’s boyfriend teaches sixth grade. Stephanie and I have so much in common!
She also wanted to be a princess, but couldn’t find any job openings.
Kevin wanted to be in New Kids on the Block. He also wanted to be a cop, so he’s living the dream
Jeffrey wanted to be a robber! That’s cute. Actually, he wanted to be a movie director. He also wanted to be a playwriter. He wrote a little, but he’s currently a receptionist.
When I was a child, I wanted to be pretty with big boobs when I grew up. *sigh* Well, I made it halfway there. I leave it to you to decide which half.
Erica wanted to be a writer, then a paleontologist, but she is trying to be a writer.
Gene wanted to “play video games and hang out.” That’s awesome. Me, too, Gene. He’s not doing that, because he’s not a video game tester, but he has enough spare time as a stunt man that is able to play video games, hang out, and have fun at work. Damn. Now I want to be a stuntman when I grow up. A pretty stuntman, with big boobs.

The bubble contest begins. I go to check my email.

Hey! I won the Nigerian Facebook Microsoft Lottery when my long-long uncle died and left me a job as a mystery shopper!!!!!!!!! I’M RICH!!! WOO-HOO!!
Oh! Apparently, Dr. Fluffles first name is “Terry.” Nice.
Stephanie puts her bubbles directly in front of the camera to make them look bigger. That’s awesome.

What makes you different from the other players?

They answered this last night. Great. There are so few tweets, they’re recycling them? WHY NOT USE MINE? Eff you, ABC.
Stephanie is different because her brain works differently. That’s because she’s smarter than everyone else. It’s true, but the dumbasses in the general public don’t like when smart people acknowledge that they’re smart.
Gene has embraced every aspect of the game. I think Steph has done that, too.
Erica is using this experience to better herself.
Kevin doesn’t know the rest of them well enough to really say, but he’s claiming to be exactly the same as he is in the real world. Does he spend a lot of time in the real world hitting on married women and forming inappropriate relationships with them? Does he often kiss women one day and throw them into limbo the next?
Jeffrey says that he has a big heart.
Erica made an I <3 Kevin sweater? What? I’m so afraid.
Ori tells them that, maybe some day, they should compete on a TV show with millions of people watching. Maybe they should, because this show isn’t it.

Ori acts like she’s signing off. Let’s see if she does. I hope so, because I need to go shower.

They’re all talking about showmancing. Steph and Jeffrey decide to form an “awesome individual-mance.” An “IndependMance”, if you will. Have I mentioned that I hate made-up words?
Gene and Jeffrey talking about the Olympics. Apparently, a real gold medal is worth about $40k.
Stephanie thinks it’s weird that the question she got to her personally last night came out to everyone today. I agree.
Is Joy riding Gene’s coat-tails? Yes. Whatever. I’m over this show.
They’re just talking about the timeline for the rest of the day. Gene wants Joy back. Duh.
Zzzzzzzz. They’re asking what makes everyone unique. Steph agrees that no one has embraced the game quite as fully as Gene. They both say that most of them stated things that are qualities they all have, and that if everyone else is the same, you don’t need them in the game. Good point.
They’re all tweeting. Fascinating.
Gene says that it was really awkward waking up in the middle of the night and seeing Stephanie instead of Joy. They start talking about the Weiner Wall, which apparently they didn’t bother with, and the feed ends.

Season 1, Episode 7

2012-07-31T09:12:00.002-07:00

Why does ABC feel the need to open every episode by explaining the house and how the game works? They aren’t pulling in any new viewers at this point, and we all know how it works. It’s not like there isn’t enough footage to fill the hour. They pretend to create suspense by talking about who is coming back, as if we don’t all know that Jeffrey sent Mike home on Tuesday. As they show the replay, I wonder if Mike still thinks it’s not his fault that he messed up the challenge.

We start with Kevin talking about how Jeffrey deserves to go home, and so do all of his friends who voted against him. On the other hand, Andrea jumps up and down, cheering. Andrea is incredibly smug, because she knows that ABC has rigged this whole thing so that she should win and there’s no way she’s in the bottom.

The next morning, they all gather in the living room as Ori tells them they have to dress as thrift store hipsters for the next 24 hours. Erica tells us that “hipster” means wearing really ugly clothes in an ironic way. Stephanie tells Kevin that he’s way hotter as a hipster than in his regular clothes. This moves so fast, it’s so weird. We learn that they’re having a date night - Andrea is inexplicably the chef, Erica is the water, Joy is busing tables, Gene and Kevin are actually on the date, and Stephanie is the soux chef. Erica says that you can tell, based on the voting, what the viewers think of people. She’s right, and that’s the only reason this isn’t 100% ridiculous. I’m still mad that ABC screwed up the voting and went with the two highest votes, total, and not the highest couple vote count. We skip the date entirely, so I don’t know why they even bothered showing

Later, they’re all chatting. Kevin used to do undercover work? Good thing that’s over. Anyway, he tries trash-talking Gene, and Gene tells us that his #Fanswers support everything he’s doing. Andrea is a giant lying pot calling the kettle black. Joy walks in and tells it how it is. “Gene is overly confident and you’re manipulative.” Andrea freaks out and starts screaming. She’s crying about people attacking her character and calling her manipulative. Stephanie and Joy called her out for some of her lies. Andrea waves her arm and screams, “Roll the tapes!” The tapes show exactly what Gene, Joy, and Stephanie said they did. That’s awesome. She starts screaming at them. “People! Get your conversations straight!!!!” They roll the tape, showing that she said exactly what they all said she did. She then says, “Wait. Let me clarify.” Nice back-pedaling, liar. It turns into a huge discussion over Jeffrey going into limbo. Andrea and Kevin call them all assholes, because they have no idea what strategy is. Commercial. *phew* I need a drink - did I mention it’s only 8 am?

ABC shows us clips from the live feed, as if we didn’t suffer enough the first time. Ok, apparently, we’re back to the show, but it’s that stupid pirate/parrot conversation where Erica says that she trusts Kevin more than Gene and that Joy is only around because of her relationship with Gene. Guess I get a short typing break. Back in the living room, Erica asks Andrea if she regrets getting married so early and having kids. I guess she had two men fighting over her. Why?? She chose because she loved her husband’s family more and saw herself fitting in? What? Why didn’t she choose the one that she loved and wanted to be with? Andrea then tells us that you can make it work with anyone if you choose to put in the time and effort. It helps if the other person feels the same way. Erica is getting to know Andrea because she’s in love with Kevin, and Andrea is getting to know Erica to get her vote. So…. this is the same woman who freaked out not 10 minutes ago about people calling her manipulative? Shut up, Andrea.

Cut to Joy and Gene in the bathroom, talking about how she lost her virginity at 15. She told us this story on the live feed. Everyone found out, and the other girls freaked out and started vandalizing her house and shit. That’s crazy. She had to change schools… because she had sex once. That’s ridiculous. Anyway, she went nuts, started drinking, doing drugs, and hanging out with 30 year old meth addicts. She’s glad to be alive, but she wants to give her daughter a better life. This has nothing to do with the show, and could have been shown in a video.

They’re called to see who’s returning from limbo. Fucking Andrea is dancing in the confessional and singing a song about how Mike is going to beat Jeffrey. Ori tells us that the returning player received only 51% of the vote. Wow. And… commercial.

Let’s break the suspense now. Jeffrey is back. We all know it. So, I’m hoping that, if the losing team captain managed to get 49% this week, maybe the losing team captain will get 51%+ next week? Fingers crossed. Kevin is sad. Awww, whatever Kevin. Erica is ecstatic. Jeffrey says he’s never doing that again and reminds us that he did it to keep Andrea from being Team Captain. Jeffrey, the fact that you all hate her doesn’t mean that the viewers do. Gene pulls Jeffrey aside to talk to him, and that leads Kevin and Andrea to talk smack about Gene for awhile. Joy tells Jeffrey how Erica went crazy when he was gone.

Later that night, before the team captain reveal. Gene predicts Kevin and Erica. Kevin thinks it’ll be him, not Erica. They’re both wrong, so it doesn’t matter. Kevin tells Andrea that Gene is full of shit. She’s such a bitch. Stephanie reminds us that Jeffrey went to limbo solely so that Andrea would not be immune. It didn’t work, so that sucks. Joy and Steph are the captains. I’m pretty sure @TGHDarthVadar is right and this whole thing is rigged for Andrea. There’s no other explanation. Anyway, we learn that Stephanie had more votes than Joy, so she gets first pick.

Joy is understandably upset. She’s crying and trying to figure out what she did wrong. She just wants to sit in the chair and mope, while Gene gives up comforting her. Kevin and Andrea go into a room to cheer. Andrea does that dance that makes me want to beat her to death with a shovel. She’s so horrible - I don’t really understand how the viewers don’t see it. There’s a moment where I think she and Kevin might kiss, which would be awesome (because it would show her as such a hypocrite), but I’m wrong. Anyway, cut to Joy lying in bed being sad and Gene comforting her. *yawn* Oh, good! Commercial!

The challenge - Steph picked Kevin and Erica, and Jeffrey chose to align with them. Joy has Gene and Andrea. Did she say that “Andrea thinks she’s a good athlete?” That’s funny. anyway, it’s some kind of ski-ball relay challenge. I expect Gene to kick ass at this, given the bowling game early on. They tell us that there is a “prize” cup. One of the prizes is a science kit - Stephanie gets really excited, but everyone else just looks at her. Jeffrey tells us that, since he was the last pick and there’s an uneven number, he’s just the cheerleader. He’s an awesome cheerleader, though. Kevin tells Erica not to sprint to throw her balls. Interesting. Is he being nice, or does he want their team to lose? Kevin wins $3k and cariactures of the cast, and a science kit, and $2k? But he can’t get any of the balls in the slot that will help his team ACTUALLY WIN THE GAME??? Uh-huh. Eff you, Kevin. Andrea just makes fun of Joy’s running, because she’s an evil skank. Randomly, I like the link asking me to recommend this video on Facebook. Why would I do that to people I like? Ok, this challenge is actually pretty cool. Anyway, I already know what happens, so I can tell you while I’m watching that Stephanie’s team won. Joy is sad. I’m glad there are only 12 minutes left.

Back in the house, Joy tells us that everyone is expecting her not to come back. Joy, honey, it’s not your fault. The way the show is set up, the team captain never comes back (I pray that, this time, I’m wrong). Erica assures Joy that she never had any intention of voting for Gene, and that she swore up and down to Andrea and Kevin that she couldn’t break her word to vote for Gene. I wish I hadn’t seen that conversation, because it makes me upset with Erica. Back in the living room, we see that someone drew caricatures of all of the players. They’re really good, and the players are happy.

In the bedroom, Erica is telling Kevin and Andrea that she doesn’t want to vote against Andrea, even though she thinks she’ll be back. She says that she has obligations. Kevin says that he’s leaving if Joy comes back and they don’t break up the Showmance. Erica thinks the entire thing was calculated. Joy is talking about how Erica is a crappy friend. Then, we see Erica showing us that she is a crappy friend, and she’s telling Andrea that she’d rather have her than Gene. This is cut so that it’s hard to tell which room Steph is actually in, but I think she’s listening to Erica, and she’s stunned. The next day, Joy is talking to Erica about how, if their team lost, there’s no way Joy and Gene would have voted against her. Joy reminds Erica of her word, and Erica acts like she didn’t just promise not to send Gene to limbo. Joy tells Erica that she’ll take it as a personal attack if Erica vote against Gene. I understand why she’s saying that, although she doesn’t phrase it in the best way. Anyway, Erica sees that as choosing Gene over Joy, which isn’t really what it is - it’s acknowledging that Erica has turned into a backstabbing liar. This is so sad and painful to watch. Anyway, commercial.

Oooh… Nashville! Coming soon on ABC! (What? It’s got to be better than this.) When we’re back, stupid fucking Andrea’s family comes up to give the #Fanswers. I refuse to watch. Is it super awkward for Kevin to watch this, since he’s so in love with her? Kris is exactly as not hot as I thought he was from the Prop. 8 picture. The fans told Andrea that they prefer humble to cocky. Erica is told, “no,” but I never saw her question, so that’s not helpful. She says that her #Fanswer told her to vote for Gene. Jeffrey is told that he and Erica should turn on Gene before he turns on them. I randomly wonder if I would want to take my kids on a reality show. Anyway, we see Andrea, Erica, and Jeffrey talking about the #Fanswers. Erica is 100% voting for Gene, she doesn’t care about her integrity at all, so for once, Gene is not the swing vote. It’s Jeffrey. Jeffrey comes to talk to Stephanie about it, and she tells him that, if he votes for Andrea, he’ll force a tie - and we all know how Joy will vote. Gene and Joy are pissed that three people voted for Gene, and I can’t blame them - it should have been only Andrea and Kevin. They try to make this suspenseful by going to commercial with one stone left. I already know that Jeffrey threw at Andrea.

Grey’s Anatomy is still on? Really? I stopped watching when I realized that I was so depressed after every episode that strangers were starting to worry about me. Ah, well. It’s a tie, so Joy picks Andrea to go to limbo with her. Shocking. Joy and Andrea head down the tubes as I pray, once again, that America is not fucking stupid. In roughly 9 hours, I hope I don’t have to start crying. We see Joy plead to help her give her daughter a better life. Andrea says things, but I’m not listening. I’m calculating whether she has more fans than Joy, Erica, Jeffrey, Gene, and Stephanie combined. We learn that, next week, someone will be tempted into quitting the game. I’m thinking Gene - if he’s really a mole (suggested by Apollo’s tweets), this would be an easy way of getting him out of the house. Oh, well. Live feed’s in three hours, so I have things to do.

Live Feed - Monday, July 30, Part 1

2012-07-30T22:51:00.000-07:00

This will be a little disjointed, because I haven't actually seen the episode yet, but Scarly is in a different time zone and kindly agreed to help by recapping this week's marathon crapfest. Er... live feed. Not sure I want to share it, though, because I'm worried that y'all will stop reading when you realize that she's way funnier than I am. Anyway.... on to the recap!

Monday's Live Feed, Part One
So Snarktastic Lady (“Snarky” to those of us in the esteemed inner circle) asked for some help blogging tonight. Given how many live feeds she saved me from having to watch myself, I couldn’t refuse. Well, actually I tried to get away with blogging without watching the show...guess I should have waited until tomorrow to hit send. So here I am, actually watching the live feed and betting it’s pretty spot on to what I’ve already written (see the Monday sneak preview post).

I have sound and no picture. Why do I have no picture? I spend a bunch of time trying to figure it out and miss a lot of pre-Ori babbling.
In an attempt to get my damn feed to work, I pull out the PC. My Mac and PC take turns freezing and playing and have an odd echoing conversation going on. This is actually the most interesting live feed so far.
I miss the first question because I’m swearing at the Mac. Now Steph is calling herself out because Joy and Erica don’t have boob jobs??? Wait til she sees Joy’s Playboy pics.
We learn Joy is 6-1 in challenges vs. 1-6 for Andrea. For someone who’s done a lot of whining about people throwing challenges, Andrea’s track record is less than stellar.
My new drinking game rule: drink whenever someone says “workable bonds”
Stephanie is STILL talking. Even Ori had zoned out.
Jeffrey goes to answer in private. This should be good. Just kidding.
He thinks Andrea is more deserving to come back. His reasoning is that Joy has given up, because she doesn’t think she’s coming back. Let’s review the voting history: captain out, captain out, captain out, captain out, captain out, captain out. How dare she assume she’s going home!
Erica says it’s between loyalty and honesty. I get to take a few shots with my new workable bonds rule. I like my new rule and hope Snarky adopts it. This feed is so much better drunk.
Erica is going on and on and on. Either she and Jeffrey don’t understand this game or they’re playing someone. Seriously, if Andrea stays in none of you are winning. This is not difficult.
My theory: players have come to realize the longer they spend discussing their answers the less time they have to spend with stupid activities later in the feed.
Kevin thinks that....drumroll....Andrea should come back. Wait...what? Next Gene is going to say he wants Joy to come back.
Gene is going in private for his answer. The suspense is killing me. For some reason he drags in Stephanie.
Gene displays his opinion by taking off his shirt. He got a jump start on tonight’s costume in a tshirt with Joy’s name that looks suspiciously like it was created by Joy herself. I guess she gave up on the pillow from locks of hair or whatever she was making during the live feed.
Gene is actually making a good point that getting rid of Andrea will make people play their own game and not just protect her.
Congrats, Gene. Someone finally made Stephanie look succinct.
Time for some tout audio visual questions. Jacob’s lost twin Judd asks a question and confirms that of the 2, Jacob actually got the brains.
Stephanie thinks Kevin is the biggest competition
No one else wants to answer
Erica also thinks the biggest competition is Kevin.
ABC is clearly upset that I haven’t voiced my opinion on the worst date night worker, because I’ve seen it at least 4 times now. Somewhere in LA an intern is crying over my refusal to answer.
Jeffrey says Kevin is the biggest competition. So is Andrea not an option because she’s in limbo? These people clearly haven’t seen the Mormon propaganda for Andrea.
Kevin says Jeffrey. He couldn’t say himself, so he just said the first name that popped into his head.
Gene says Kevin and Kevin is grinning like a cheshire cat. Yeah, Gene’s the cocky one. Go with that guys.
Erica is calling Kevin out on bullshitting her by saying he thought she was the one to beat. Please let this mean that her eyes are finally open and she’s not going to keep on with her 14-year-old-stalker impression. I think I’ll hold my breath.
New tout: Are people voting on whether they relate to players or how they’re playing the game? Jeffrey has no idea. Neither do I. I think that’s because most of the viewers are still learning to write their name in cursive and don’t really know what they’re doing, either.
Erica has an anti-strategy strategy. And she agrees with everything the viewers do. Aka Erica’s strategy is to kiss viewer ass.
Kevin cops out (see what I did there!) and say it’s both
I tune Gene out. Now Stephanie is talking about being an unemotional droid and is doing a great job of selling herself by telling us how unfunny and unpopular she is.
Can we go to the stupid costumes already so I can stop with the compulsive feeling that I have to take notes on everything these people ramble about?
Ori listened - now we’re doing some kind of global celebration. First they dress as someone from Canada. “What do Canadians wear, maple leaves?” Nope, apparently coonskin caps, mounty jackets and flannel shirts. Stereotype, much?
We now get to see a scene from the last episode, starring Andrea, Kevin and Erica, complete with overly dramatic soundtrack.
Back to the present: In Stephanie’s mind, German and Canadian accents are interchangeable.
I really hope this show doesn’t air in Canada.
They get Canadian food and drink. Stephanie is having a foodgasm over the poutine. I’m trying to figure out wtf it is, eh.

Ori: “what if I had a moose for you to ride.” Jeffrey: “wouldn’t be the first time.”
Discussion commences around the plural of moose (it’s moose) and spirit animals.
My spirit animal is the gummy bear. I tweeted the producers my vodka gummy bear recipe for their regular Monday night binge session. They ignored me, but you’d be smart to google it - that shit rocks at parties.
I swear they just asked me if I want the players to play Fuck Football. Hell yeah! Oh wait, it’s flick football. Really, someone thinks that would be good viewing?
Fun fact: according to Wikipedia, a Facebook poll showed that 51% of people consider poutine to be the national dish of Canada. You heard it here, folks.
According to my own Facebook poll, 51% of my friends think I’m insane for watching this show and live feeds. Actually I lie. It’s much, much higher than that.
Ori is now piping in applause to introduce a “variety of games for the viewers’ amusement.” I stopped finding this amusing 8 weeks ago.
Per Wikipedia, poutine is french fries covered in gravy and cheese curds. mmmmm. Yeah, not so much.
Flick football and archery wins. Have the viewers ever turned down a “both” option? Why even bother having us vote if you’re going to give us a “both” option?
They start playing a game that’s boring when I’m the one playing it. I take the opportunity to spell check my blog entry thus far. I discover that I misspelled “spellcheck.”
It’s 11:11 cst and I make a wish to have time fast forward to 2 am so I can go to sleep. Actually I’ll likely sleep at midnight and tell Snarky she gets the rest Tuesday night.
Looks like Gene won. Ori says he’s a “talented flicker.” I thought he hasn’t flicked in like 5 years?
In a voiceover that the cast can’t hear, we learn that tomorrow we get to decide who returns to the glass house. Next Monday we can also take a Glass House quiz to win $10k. Guess someone snitched on us that we weren’t really paying attention.
Time for archery. Suction cup arrows. ABC couldn’t spring for real targets so they’re drawing them on the windows?
Erica goes off on a long rambling monologue to say that she thinks Gene will be a team captain tomorrow.
Stephanie has created a bullseye and made up random rules. Seriously if she leaves the game this place is falling apart. Ori fills in the blanks in the rules and then calls the players one by one. Channeling Ashley, Erica calls Ori “boo.”
I have a sudden flashback to the bowling game that Stephanie invented on the first day in the house. I thought it was quite clever at the time and now I fear she gave the show ideas.
After Kevin kicks ass in suction cup archery, the house begins a vigorous debate about what 73x3 is. Stephanie is trying not to laugh out loud and we suddenly understand her motivation behind the bizarre point values she assigned each ring on the target.
They’re telling us that their catch phrase whenever someone is believed to be lying is “roll the tape.” We actually learned this during the TV episode when they DID roll the tape and proved that Andrea ranks telling the truth right up there with equal rights for all.
Stephanie sucks. Or she doesn’t. Double entendre to basically say that she lost handily.
I’m totally downloading this live feed later and making a screenshot of Erica with a dart on her forehead for an avatar.
We’re finally abandoning Canada for either Russia or Scotland. Given the possibility of Jeffrey and Gene getting to wear skirts, er, kilts, my money is on Scotland.
I win.
I didn’t hear/see the other option, but I have no doubt that they will soon be eating haggis.
What masochist scheduled the live feed for this late at night?
Biggest travel blunder vs coolest travel experience? Viewers go for the embarrassing story, so I expect the blunder.
The girls all look ready to wait tables at Twisted Kilt. Jeffrey’s shirt is 2 sizes too small. So are they gaining weight in the house or is ABC inexplicably unable to find a white tshirt in Jeffrey’s size?
Yep. Time for travel blunders. I realize that it’s 3 mins to midnight and when their stories are done I can go to sleep.
Gene stumbled across a Klan rally.
Erica studied abroad in England in college. Her blunder involves being slutty abroad. I wonder if their slutty trip to Italy will be off once Joy sees that Erica wants Andrea to come back.
Jeffrey is now wearing a nipple patch and tells a story involving a gay bar in New Orleans. He turned down a creepy ugly guy who hit on him. I’m confused.
I bet Stephanie’s involves Germany.
Stephanie’s involves Germany. I’m so smart. Hey Stephanie, is Mensa looking for new members? If they’re like you, I may actually join.
I think Stephanie is the cutest of everyone in a kilt. She tells a really long story that has nothing to do with a blunder. Am I tired or is she drunk? Maybe both. Short story long - her mom bought 2 left sandals in Italy and google translated sandals into ice skates when she wrote a complaint letter.
Kevin’s story involves the phrase “me being a bonehead.” Finally he says something I agree with. I’m so excited about this revelation I don’t hear the rest of the story.
My high school German teacher once informed a bakery full of students that German bread doesn’t contain condoms (condom= Praeservativ in German).
JFK never actually told Germany that he was a jelly donut. It’s a myth used to scare young German students. It’s very complicated, but “Ich bin ein Berliner” actually can mean “I’m a (sorta) Berlin person.”
There, now you have a couple of mildly amusing and informative travel blunders.

And with that, dear reader, I’m done for tonight. You (and I) now have the cliffhanger to look forward to: what did the viewers decide for them to eat?

I have to actually work tomorrow, so it will be tomorrow night when I finish watching the live feed and blog on it. Til then...

Week 7 Video Clips, Part 3

2012-07-29T22:09:00.000-07:00

Erica Outs Gene

Erica and Jeffrey talking in the Friends room about Gene. Erica thinks that Joy is just riding Gene’s coattails. Erica tells Jeffrey that Joy and Gene made out early on in the competition. Jeffrey said that he thinks it was during the slumber party the first week. It was before Gene started all the “Showmance” shit. They sing for Steph to come join them - the video gets LOUD all of a sudden. I jumped like 10 feet. Erica tells Steph that Gene/Joy. She thinks it’s weird that he was making a big deal about them not kissing, where they did. Steph also doesn’t think that Gene really has twice as many votes as the rest of them. Joy is watching in her awesome dress. When they invite her in, the video ends.

Erica’s Last Stand

Erica is still talking to Jeffrey. She’s desperate for Kevin. Jeffrey is worried that she might sexually attack him. She says that she wants booze so she can just say, “Look, are we going to make out or not?” You. Are. NOT! GET THE NET!

Fallout Team Captains

Mike, Kevin, and Andrea talking about Captains, and how they are so much better at strategizing than everyone else. Mike talks about how he’s going to force Kevin onto the other team so they don’t both go into limbo. I’ve seen all of this before. They’re convinced they can get Jeffrey to vote for Joy to go to limbo if Mike’s team loses. I don’t think the teams they’re discussing are what they wound up with. They take some time to talk crap about Stephanie. They claim that she’s different on the live feeds than she is on the show or the rest of the time. I haven’t noticed that, except that she gets screen time in the live feeds. Steph isn’t like Kevin and Mike and Andrea who are spend the entire live feeds acting too good to participate, then sit around and talk shit about the other players and the viewers every second they think they aren’t on the air. In the confessional, Andrea talks about how excited she is that someone from the other team went to limbo. She does a dance. That’s not very Christian of you, Andrea. She goes on and on and on and… shut the fuck up Andrea. God, I hate her. She’s such a fucking bitch.

Gene Lies to Kevin

In the kitchen, Kevin asks Gene if he voted to send him to limbo. Gene refuses to say, but Kevin wants to know why people are voting against him. He’s worried that it’s because people hate him. Gene says that he didn’t vote for Kevin, and well know he’s lying, including Kevin.

Gene’s Penguin Advice

In the friends room, in the dark, Gene is talking to a stuffed penguin. He’s making it respond to him. He can’t possibly be bored enough to be doing this to entertain himself. He’s hoping that we see it. Anyway, I imagine they’re talking about how Joy gets pissed at him all the time for no reason. The “penguin” tells him not to argue with her, because she’s always right. Sounds like a smart penguin.

Holly’s Not Coming Back

Everyone is in the living room talking about how Holly was young, immature, unintelligent, and therefore never stood a chance. Mike and Kevin, part of her “alliance” are the most vocal that she’s an idiot and has no shot at coming back. Gene tries to say that it’s possible, and Kevin calls him “insane.” I really hope Holly sees this video.

Week 7 Video Clips, Part 2

2012-07-29T21:52:00.001-07:00

Missing Gene at Breakfast

Early morning. Steph goes to wake Gene for Breakfast Club, but he doesn’t want to get up for half an hour. She wanders away to get started. Gene tells Joy that he can snuggle for another 20 minutes or so. She seems annoyed, but insists she’s not jealous. Now, Gene is trying to make Joy jealous. Then, he starts talking about how, since he started sharing the bed with Joy, he keeps missing breakfast club. We keep cutting to Steph washing dishes, making breakfast, talking to herself, and eating on the couch. Gene and Joy finally stumble out, and they’re all huggy and it’s awkward. Joy makes one egg for herself rather than asking the others what they want? Wow. What a bitch. Gene has to make his own breakfast. Stephanie seems irritated with the whole thing. Not a jealousy thing, but she enjoys the breakfasts with Gene, and Joy is leaving her to be bored. Apparently, the whole thing is some sort of practical joke on Joy? I don’t get it. This is weird. Don’t watch it.

Breakfast Club

Gene and Joy in bed again. Stephanie comes in to tell Gene that it’s 8:29 and he’s missing breakfast club. The whole thing is in whispers, and I’ll be honest - since it’s less than a minute, it’s not worth going to get my headphones.

Bed

This is from last Monday. They’re speculating as to who will be in each bedroom. Since I already know who has been in the rooms, I don’t care. The doors open, and they all freak out at Kevin/Erica in the Enemies room. Joy asks Erica if she’s going to sleep in sexy lingerie. I feel like I’m seen parts of this. Maybe I’m having vision-esque dreams of The Glass House? If so, please kill me. I think this is actually from last week’s episode, maybe? No idea, but I’ve seen it. In confessional, Erica tells us that Kevin has a crush on her. No, he doesn’t. Joy says that maybe it will help Kerica’s relationship. Did I already recap this video? Did they repost it out of order? It’s all just run together…. EFF YOU, ABC!

Cha Fal

This is Jeffrey talking about how he wants Gene to volunteer for limbo. We know he didn’t, and I saw this last Tuesday or Wednesday.

106 Fanswers

Week 6 #Fanswers. I don’t want to see fucking Andrea’s fucking family. UGH. I hate her so much. Actually, this is from last week, because Mike’s still here, so this should be the #Fanswers delivered by Alex, I think? No. No one delivers them. The feed is weird and jumpy and glitchy. Erica asked if we think that Kevin has genuine affection for her or if it’s gameplay. We all said “B: Gameplay.” Kevin got, “No,” and I think this is about whether we enjoy the “fauxmance.” Stephanie was told to remain rational and avoid the drama. Jeffrey asked whether Gene or Jeffrey was playing the better game - we said Gene. Joy was told that she is overdoing it and being way too emotional. Gene… I missed Gene’s answer, and I don’t care. Mike was told “no.” I think he asked if he could beat Jeffrey in limbo, but he might have been asking about Andrea. No worries - he couldn’t beat either of them. Andrea is making faces and trying to look pretty for the challenge. Too bad she’s heinous-looking. Anyway, the video cuts out, so we’ll apparently never know what her #Fanswer was. Hmmmm….

Week Seven Video Clips, Part 1

2012-07-29T21:31:00.001-07:00

Mike Exposes Gene

This is a few weeks old, since Mike is still in it. That means that I really don’t care. Anyway, we start with a broken glass, and Gene stepping on it. He’s mad that someone broke a glass and just left it sitting there without cleaning it up. He mentions calling a house meeting. It’s sad to me that we need a “house meeting” about not littering the floor with broken glass. Anyway, Andrea happens to pass through while Gene is saying this, and she immediately drags Mike into a bedroom to whisper about the house meeting that Gene wants to call. She didn’t hear the reason, so she’s 100% making shit up. Mike can’t believe that he would call a house meeting over this - they think Gene wants a house meeting because he threw the challenge. Kevin and Mike are talking about exposing Gene first. Something really weird happens - funky cutting and jumping around, Mike walks into a different room where Andrea and Kevin are lying on beds, and they start dancing around and cheering themselves on awkwardly. God, I hate Andrea. Every time something reminds me of how horrible she is, I want to just stop watching. Anyway, cut to Jeffrey telling Gene that he thinks they’re going to get called out for losing the challenge intentionally. From here, we go to 6 minutes that I saw on Thursday’s live feed last week. I recapped it once, so my work here is done.

Mike’s Stock is Rising

Mike and Kevin are speculating over Team Captains. Mike think he’ll be OK, either way. He also says that, he thinks his stock is rising and, out of everybody, he could maybe beat Jeffrey in limbo. Nope. Sorry, Mike. Only in that way that “sorry” mean “I’m so glad you’re gone, you complete asshole.”

Sleeping Giants

After the toga party, Kevin won’t sleep in the same bed as Erica, so he’s walking around carrying pillows, looking for a place to sleep. Drunk Erica is walking around, looking for Kevin. She goes to find Kevin and bitch at him for building a nest of pillows on the floor. He says that he respects her by giving her the bed. She said that, if he really respected her, he would talk to her. Cut to Kevin and Mike. Kevin doesn’t want anything to do with drunk Erica. Erica walks in - she has changed into a very sexy top to find out what’s going on. He tells her that he wanted to avoid drunken bad decisions or the exact awkward conversation they are now having. She gets fed up and leaves. Kevin tells Mike that he can’t climb into bed with Erica. Mike, “Doesn’t she have any… dignity?” Kevin (without hesitation): “No.” I’m starting to feel less sorry for her as it’s coming off more and more that she’s just stalking some poor guy who has nowhere to go to get away from her. He’s still handling it badly, but she’s putting him in a really bad position. Anyway, Erica sleeps in the bed alone, and Kevin comes in to sleep in the pile of blankets on the floor. She’s really upset. For a minute, I fear that she’s going to climb into the pile with him. Thankfully, she just goes to sleep.

Contribute to Cocky Gene

Stephanie and Erica are talking about Gene and how cocky he is. Apparently, he told Erica that he has “secrets” with the audience. They have no idea what this means. Steph is worried that we’re turning into the Gene show. “It’s not always about you.”

Week 7 Twitter Feeds

2012-07-29T14:34:00.002-07:00

Here’s what I’ve learned from Twitter, what I’ve guessed, and what I expect to see on Monday.

Erica has completely lost it. She will do anything to keep Kevin around, including going against her word and alienating all of her friends.
Kevin is still not going to fall in love with Erica, get married, and have 10,000 of her babies.
Joy and Stephanie were Team Captains, and Joy lost the challenge.
Kevin, Andrea, and Erica voted to send Gene to limbo. Jeffrey was conflicted, but ultimately decided to vote for Andrea to avoid being a backstabby jackass. The #Fanswers may or may not have helped in this regard, since I never saw the questions this week due to ABC’s crappy website not working on my phone and the fact that I was traveling.
Stephanie and Gene voted for Andrea. Since Jeffrey honored his word, there was a tie, and Joy voted for Andrea (obviously).
Erica sometimes forgets to log out of Twitter so other people can tweet as her.
Andrea is going to win this thing, because she inexplicably has the biggest fan base.
Gene has some reason for wanting to hide in the Twitter booth for hours at a time, as evidenced by his dozens of spammy tweets that tag every famous person alive. Maybe he’s been possessed by the spirit of Holly? ImissHollyherTweetswerefullofexcitmentandstragey!YayTeamWackadoodle!
Andrea has only been on one winning challenge team. Everyone else has been on at least two. This suggests that, in addition to being annoying and a total snob, Andrea is neither smart nor athletic. I can certainly see why everyone in America is voting for her.
There are flies in The Glass House. Stephanie tried to make fly paper, but it didn’t work.
Gene says that Kevin told different people different things about his #Fanswers. Kevin is mad at Gene for calling him a liar.
Ori is still the coolest character in The Glass House.
There’s loads of drama.
There are way too many tweets this week. The sheer volume (despite Holly’s absence) gave me a headache.

Monday Sneak Preview

2012-07-29T14:22:00.001-07:00

As I'm still on vacation, I've asked my friend Scarly to produce a guest blog for tomorrow night's live feed. That feed is brutal, so she's completely awesome for doing it. Anyway, she's super-busy, but she's seen most of the live feeds so far, so she figured that it probably would be OK to go ahead and write the whole thing in advance. I read it, and I expect she's more or less right.

-Everyone is sitting around, waiting for the live feed to start and pretending that after 7 (or is it 8?) weeks in the house they actually look forward to this thing.
We get some tweets where the fans tell us about how much they hope Joy or Andrea survives limbo. Awwww how cute. And pointless. Joy as captain is going home. There are no surprises in this show.
Each of the players say who they want to return. Anyone claiming to want Andrea back (ahem, Kevin!) is lying. In actuality the whole house is hoping that Joy somehow pulls off a coupe so they don't have to go up against Andrea in the final.
To prove there's no surprises Ori announces...guess what...we're giving you some random ass materials to make costumes no one cares about. And better spend a full 20-30 minutes working on it, because there will be a vote for best costume that has absolutely no bearing on the show whatsoever.
Random underwear shots of the female cast members as they change.
The viewers get to vote on which drink and which food to give the players. No one, least of all the players, is surprised when the weirdest and grossest selection is chosen.
After the players are good and liquored up, ABC asks them to answer questions on very pressing topics and issues.
Now that Mike has gone home and sour-faced Andrea is limbo, everyone is actually participating and seems to be getting along and have fun with this.
Erica fawns over Kevin, who is visibly trying to figure out if he can tell her to get a life without pissing off all the housewives voting for him.
Gene is aimlessly wandering around, not sure what to do with Joy in limbo and no one to cuddle with or pretend that he's like the greatest guy EVER.
Stephanie is joyfully oblivious to whatever drama may be brewing and is concentrating on doing whatever the viewers tell them to do and to Make. It. Work.
Jeffrey is trying to figure out how the fuck to get rid of Kevin, so that his BFF will finally get her head out of her ass.
After 3 hours it all starts over for an abridged repeat as we now have to pander to the West Coast viewers who just joined.

Live Feed - Thursday, July 26

2012-07-26T20:12:00.000-07:00

Today, we have a special guest blog from a friend of mine who has insisted on remaining anonymous, because no one can know that he/she watches this crap.

They're all primping. Why are they always primping right up until the minute it starts?

So, we're going with touts again. Great, I want to see what kind of idiots are actually watching this shit, but a face to the horribly mispelled shit that they're vomiting up all over the internet.

Tout #1 is some blue haired freak asking: "What is the dumbest thing you've ever done? I want to hear some interesting STORIES!"

Jeffrey - Limbo. Well, that was pretty fucking retarded.

Steph - When living in Germany, accidently told her boss that she was horny (In German, screwed up the form of "hot")

Joy - has done a lot of dumb shit (NO KIDDING?), says she has no filter. Apparently she uses "gay" as a negative ("That's so gay").

Andrea - specifies she's only had EMBARASSING, but then changes to say she has a dumb one afterall. She got married at a young age, says she was trying to be an dult and make Dr appointments. Says she knew she needed birth control before she got married, tried to make an appointment with a gynecologist. Then get gets all screwed up and says she's telling the story bad, dropped the punchline. I don't get this, must be mormon humor. She called her dentist for birth control, and thought she needed a cleaning to get birth control? What the fuck?

What a fucking idiot.

Erica tries to turn the question into "embarrassing", saying she's done a lot of dumb things, the asker must have wanted embarrassing. Blah blah, she got drunk at college. Why is TGH bleeping her friend's name repeatedly? Whatever, she pissed the bed when passed out from drinking. Classy. Says she got the nickname "Tinklebell" as a result

Gene: Found creative ways to watch tv when grounded as a kid. Told to change his mic battery.

Kevin: Dollar beer night, during police academy. Do we need to know any more? I'm assuming this will be the origin story of how he "gets drunk and molests people". OMG HE WANTED TO DRIVE A MOTORCYCLE WHILE DRUNK AND IN POLICE ACADEMY. HE TRIED TO DUI, but the motorcycle flew out from under him and got wrecked. He says he was an idiot for wrecking the bike. NO, you asshole... you were an idiot for TRYING TO DRIVE DRUNK. Fuck you.

Jeffrey: Was forced to play soccer, his dad was a "soccer dad". Oh shit, he's telling his "shit in his pants" story. Why does he need to revisit this? Is the theme of today improper bowel/bladder control? WHAT THE FUCK?!

Ten bucks says we eventually see Erica and Jeffrey in German scatological porn together. WHAT THE FUCK.

Back to Gene.. He tried to figure out how his mom was busting him for watching TV, she felt the back of the TV for heat.. so he left a cold wet towel on the back of the TV and was busted. Boring

Stephanie says that was all of their "Densa" moments. I think I heard that right?

Can we go back to Kevin for a moment? What kind of a sick son of a bitch can look at a story about how they attempted to drive drunk as at ALL amusing? Smug fucking bastard! Also, WHILE HE WAS IN POLICE ACADEMY?! Shouldn't that shit be an automatic fail? THIS is what is given a gun and a badge? Jesus Christ!!!!!

Ori says that the viewers have asked for the show to let them know about what happened in Colorado, referring to the "heartbreaking tragedy". LOOOONG pause before Ori reads off the news. Everyone is visibly shaken, Jeffrey is crying, Joy is crying.

Erica says that Aurora is 10 minutes from her, is walking through who she could have known to gone to that movie premiere.

Steph is wondering what it takes to drive people to do something like that.

Joy wants to talk about psych history, mentions Virginia Tech, and people with Psych histories, says that until there's actually proof that a person will do something, they can't do anything about it, even if there are signs that a person could. She is upset that people like this can legally been able to buy a gun, if that's the case.

I don't want to give commentary on this discussion. This will be very abbreviated.

I will say that Joy brings up the fact that - no matter where this person came from - this IS an act of terrorism (Ori had specified that it had been declared NOT terrorism)

Andrea doesn't want to discuss this.

Talk of where society has gone wrong, etc.

Joy mentioned that she can guarantee that someone saw this coming with the shooter, but that it hadn't gotten to the point of DOING anything. Andrea interrupts with a HUGE, very rude sigh.

Stephanie's reaction to tragedy - even in her life, how she processes loss is trying to get to the root of it, why it happened, how it could be prevented, etc.. but these shootings keep happening, no one can make sense of it, etc.

Ori assures Erica that the show checked in with her immediate friends and family, and that everyone is ok.

Stephanie feels really disconnected because they're "bouncing around doing ridiculous things", while tragedies are going on in the real world, and they have no idea.

You know, this is all extremely gratuitous. I think that the show should have let them know in private.

Ori says that it's time to do something different, an aquatic activity to "lighten the mood". SO UNBELIEVABLY INAPPROPRIATE. The contestants - aside from Kevin - all look like they're NOT up for doing something fun after that. It's a very, very dark mood in there, and then straight into this? Stephanie points out that it's a very weird transition, Ori makes a singsong comment about "awkward segues".

God I hate this show. Why am I watching this shit? Snarky, you owe me big for this. I'm halfway through, is it too late to bow out of your sadomasochistic viewing?

Cuts to bonus scene with Erica and Mike scheming about Erica. WTF? Mike is gone. Why can't this show stay up to date? Classy, it's just them talking about how Erica probably has a HUGE following that they could use.

Seriously, I didn't like Kevin before, but after joking (sort of proudly!) about his attempted DUI WHILE IN POLICE ACADEMY ... he can really DIAF.

Erica is talking about her hair extensions.

Sounds like Ori is dropping $500 in cash on the contestants - now in flippers and scuba masks - on them, enclosed in balloons. The contestants get to keep any money they have in balloons. The player with the most money at the end wins another $500.

Kevin won $5k?

They all look ridiculous.

I want to see Erica and Andrea get into a brawl.

Andrea, your fake boobs are hanging out. Where the fuck is this modesty you crow about?

Fuck, there are hundreds of balloons, and they have to pop all of them. Each pop is vibrating/echoing.

They're all stomping randomly, aside from Stephanie who is looking at the balloons first to see if they're money, just bypassing anything that doesn't.

Andrea, does all of this picking money up off the floor remind you of anything? Is this how you financed your implants?

This is horrendously boring. They'll probably take another 20 mins to pop them all.

Jeffrey is popping them off his forehead...?

Ori: "Get it! Get that Money."

This has got to be a mind fuck with some of them. What a ridiculous task for after such a dark conversation.

Erica is shoveling bills into the bra of her swimsuit.

You know what's ridiculous? The popping sound of the balloons - along with the echo - REALLY makes it sound like a shooting range in there.

This is really disturbing.

GLaDOS tells Jeffrey to shield his eyes. Yay.

Holy crap. Will the popping ever stop?

Beige. I think I'll paint the ceiling beige.

OH. They have a nail on their masks. Joy is on her hands and needs, bobbng her head up and down as she crawls around looking for money. She seems ... practiced.

They've all pretty much given up.

Apparently they're all lightheaded and dizzy. Hey, look at that! They are able to identify with the audience experience! (Although Andrea's voice is more like nails on a chalkboard, than popping balloons)

Jeffrey won't stop complaining about shit. Shut up, already.

Joy looks like she's ALL business with counting her dollar bills.

Do these people even know how to count? I mean, aside from Joy & Andrea with their "holla for a dolla" pasts, anyway.

Jeff is flipping the fuck out about how his foot hurts, they had to hear the news, then deal with balloons sounding like gunshots - he's MAD. Says they should donate his $23 to mental health for the victims "How about THAT, Ori?!"

I don't blame him. I guess I'll cut him some slack for earlier whining.

Now they're all back to looking depressed. I think they feel dirty for the activity.

Joy says she knows that Jeffrey said it when he was mad, but that she thinks it's legitimately a good idea.

More talk about the shooting.

Holy shit, Ori actually INTERRUPTED the contestants trying to come to terms with the tragedy to let them know she's calculated the amounts. So insensitive and inappropriate!

Andrea wins... I KNEW she was experienced at this! She says the money doesn't matter to her.

Wow. Ori just said that she hopes the contestants GOT THEIR AGGRESSION OUT. Who the fuck writes for this show!? Seriously, after the shooting discussion?! Some solemnity, please?!

Andrea is saying that she thinks Jeffrey's outburst was him trying to exploit it?

Jeffrey is in bed crying, talking to Joy. He's upset that he thinks the world could be perfect, and then this happens. Says he's frustrated that things can't be perfect. He's upset at hearing the popping sound constantly for 20 minutes.

It cut to Andrea telling others that if it happened to her she would not want to hear others trying to rationalize - Feed over.

Live Feed - Wednesday, July 25, Evening

2012-07-26T06:29:00.001-07:00

First, I just need to say two things: A huge THANK YOU to my friends for their help with getting me the information I need to present you with a recap (and making some delightfully snarky comments of their own). Second - this feed sucks. Keeps cutting out, losing sound, etc. There are lots of gaps - sorry, nothing I can do except suggest that you appreciate the relief that these shining moments provide.

We started in the living room. The challenge involved rolling balls. Stephanie, Andrea, and Kevin are talking about it. Andrea looks upset, and Stephanie thinks it was a “cool challenge.” This suggests to me that Stephanie’s team won, because they’re wearing different colors.

I imagine that Gene kicked ass at this challenge, as the only one who scored in Stephanie’s bowling challenge the first week.
Andrea is trying to think of a #Fanswer to ask. Watching them stare at each other is riveting.

Cut to Gene and Joy in the bedroom. Joy, Gene, and Andrea were on one team. Stephanie and Kevin on the other (although I got that from Kevin’s Ohio Tweet - thanks, Kevin!). Joy says, “It just sucks to be this close.”

Gene, “You’re not going anywhere.” Yeah, Joy lost. Gene’s talking about how he had the ability to control the game, and he failed.
Gene is so upset because he “failed” Joy. He does know that, if he wants to win, she need to lose? Just checking.
I anticipate some more throwing the challenge backstabbing and fighting because, again, Gene was the only one who showed us during week one that he can get a ball in a hole (I’m tired - insert your own dirty joke here).
The question is - who to send to limbo: Andrea or Gene. Does it matter? Joy will go home, either way. After seven weeks, no Team Captain has returned. I doubt she’ll be the first.
Jeffrey was also on the winning team. Is he from Ohio?

Cut to Andrea trying to convince Erica to switch sides and voting Gene out. Erica actually listening to the BS! Erica, honey, Andrea does not want you to vote for her. She realizes that she is the only choice other than Gene. That’s why she’s saying these things. Don’t fall for it.

They start talking about The Bachelorette. Seriously, these two are on the wrong show. Does anyone else think Erica keeps pushing Kevin to be the next Bachelor because she wants to try out to be one of the contestants? Stay tuned...
Erica talking about a rift that happened this week and how she is disappointed - this isn’t 100% clear, because it’s boring, and I thought her fight with Joy was more about she’s bizarrely obsessed with Kevin and she doesn’t notice that he’s not that into her (I think the dude is clearly blind and insane, but he still doesn’t want her).
Andrea, “Everyone needs to be out for themselves”. Erica actually listening to this BS! Andrea really badmouthing Gene and trying to save her ass. Of course, it doesn’t help that Erica never wanted Gene on her team in the first place.
I’m not sure I’m getting all the player references correct here, since the sound is dropping out. I have no idea what’s going on.
Kevin is being nice for exactly one reason here - he’s in love with Andrea and doesn’t want her to be sent home. Duh! I want to rip my ears off. Oh Wait! Live feed freezes and saves my ears. Yay for ears! I always liked having ears.
We learn that Jeffrey was on Steph’s team, and Kevin won a science kit. How? Why? Raise your hand if you don’t care! Ooops. Can’t type with both hands in the air (I don’t care twice). Anyway, he mentions giving it to Steph.
Apparently, they had caricatures made, too
Andrea is annoyed that someone other than her got Kevin’s attention for three seconds, so she freaks out. “Not if you don’t give your caricature to me!” What are you going to do with it? Hang it on the wall of pictures of your perfect Mormon family? Maybe with a note? “Here is my perfect boyfriend… Er…. um… friend. Uh-huh.” Shut up, Andrea.
Anyway, I wonder if Kevin actually thinks Steph is stupid enough to vote for him because he gave her a science kit. Hello, McFly? She’s a scientist! I strongly doubt that she needs your third-grade science kit.
Erica wants to send a #Fanswer that tries to get the fans to tell her to vote Gene off so she feels better on ditching the alliance and turning her back on him. Kevin is talking smack about Gene while Steph tries to defend him. Interesting…. (not really. I’m lying.)

Erica is actually considering saving Andrea! Her reason? Gene hasn’t been down in Limbo yet… Ugh. This girl gets more stupid by the minute…
That “limbo club” thing was a joke Kevin made up, because he didn’t want to go back to limbo. It’s not actually a Glass House rule. Isn’t limbo just sitting in a room sleeping, anyway? Sounds good to me!
Kevin tells Steph that she must be doing something right, because she’s still in the house. It’s called “Winning challenges,” Kevin. I hope she keeps it up.
Wait. Steph says that she feels OK because only three of them haven’t been Team Captain? What? Everyone who has ever been team captain has gone home except her and Joy, and Joy’s on her way out. No one left has been team captain. I must have missed something, unless she’s suddenly got amnesia.

Back in the bedroom, Joy is taking this loss like she lost her grandma’.

“Life is short…I’m okay… sigh”. It’s just a game. She can make money modeling. Plus, she could have gotten way more money on Survivor. I’m just saying…
Apparently, Gene stabs Joy in his sleep. This is the second time we’ve heard hints that a “weiner wall” is needed. Ewwww! Apparently, Gene is also celibate when he’s awake. Also, the last thing I needed right now was to think about Gene weiner. Thanks, ABC.

Ugh, back to Andrea and her serious duck face. Oh, good! She leaves for a minute, so I don’t have to look at her. Why does Erica always change immediately after the challenge while the others wear their uniforms all night?

My contact lens moves. That actually improves things slightly, as everything is blurry and I can’t see.
We see Andrea talking to Joy and Gene to try to convince them to save her. Yeah, right. Gene’s going to vote for himself. Isn’t she his only other option? Shut up, Andrea. You’re as douchey as Alex, sometimes.
Joy is cutting up her clothes. Wait, did I switch internet pages? Am I watching Project Runway?… Man, this show has really gone downhill since it moved to Lifetime.
I decide to stop listening until Andrea stops being obnoxious.
What’s interesting is that Erica clearly doesn’t want to talk to Kevin in front of Stephanie. I can only assume because she has already decided to vote against Gene and doesn’t want Steph to know. She claims to need #Fanswers to decide.

Can I just say Erica has been looking like a bum throughout this feed?

That’s no way to attract a guy that is clearly into married women
Erica… Suggestion? Show your boobs some more, I don’t think you’ve shown them enough, you’re still covering 50% of the area… you can do better.

Jeffrey back in the kitchen.

Something looks humongous. It’s a calzone. OK, Jeffrey has a calzone because he messed up the pizza and had to fold it in half. Oops.

Gene’s waist is more than 25” he says he has put on some pounds, he and Kevin. Stephanie says her waist is also more than 25”. Gene is over six feet tall and solid muscle, I imagine his waist was more than 25 inches when he started the show.
Why are people singing the phrase “perfectly cooked” over and over? This is what happens when there is no music.
They’re talking about the caricatures. Wouldn’t it be better to see them than to hear people speculate about them? YES!

Cut to the bedroom - Erica & Jeffrey are talking about something. Can I leave it at that? Does it matter what they’re talking about?

Jeffrey is fine with it either way. Erica is clearly wants to vote for Gene, but doesn’t want to be the first to break from workable bonds. Too late, sweetie.
Jeffrey is going to buy a 1989 7,000$ Winnebago if he wins (Ok. Why?)
Erica says the car is about image and she doesn’t like it. But hair extensions aren’t about image (and are totally more important than paying your debts.)
Erica & Jeffrey thinks people would hate it if he’s really tagging celebrities (Ha! They do know us).
Andrea has joined them, her fanswer question: which trait do viewers like, cocky like Gene or humble like Erica. Erica talking about stopping the low self-confidence thing, ‘cause she never really thought it was possible to win, but now she realizes that might be true.
Andrea says she’s not really confident, but maybe people like that and she wants to know. Hey, Andrea, since you’re not confident, could you maybe stop talking about how hot you are? Thanks.
Erica thinks that she’ll be team captain next week if Gene is immune? No, Erica, either you or Jeffrey will be Team Captain next week because America inexplicably loves Andrea and Kevin, and they like Gene more than they like you. Sorry.

Cut to Andrea, Gene & Joy in another room. Joy is making something. Andrea is saying not to cut up her dress. What the hell is going on here?

Andrea pictures Joy in her red nightgown, whenever she thinks about the house. Um…. I’m sure there’s a secret lesbian fantasty fanfic in there. Who wants to write it? (C’mon - you know that would be more interesting than this shit. Although, I admit - fanfic about real people is creepy and disturbing).
Joy needs more stuffing. Huh? Is she making a pillow for Gene while she’s in limbo? She is, as a token of her affection. (Creepy, what, creepy?)
The good news is, he’ll be in limbo, too, so he won’t be stuck in the House without her.
Joy wants a t-shirt that smells like Gene when she leaves. So, Gene is going to wear one, after he takes a shower, but she wants it stinky. Ewwwww! I randomly wonder what Joy’s boyfriend thinks of this exchange.

Erica & Andrea blah blah blah. Zzzzzzzzz. Oops. Sorry.

They are going on an on about the lifestyle of a used Ferrari, and now Andrea is doing the “make it rain, make it rain” thing, as though that’s Gene. (ummm, what?)
Oh, look! It’s a how-to on putting on makeup while talking shit about your friends! I’m glad to see this, because, usually, my makeup looks so good, but I always eff up the “talking shit about your friends” part.

Gene and Joy again, he tackles and kisses her. She says that won’t help, so he leaves teasing her. He says she threw a flag on the play, she’s beggin for a little kiss now, but he gives her a hug.

Blah blah emotional blackmail (you’ll hurt my feelings if you don’t kiss me) so he kisses her, feelings intact now?
Remind me never to kiss a guy who says that. Oh, wait. No reminder needed.

Blah, blah, blah more limbo and challenge talk. See, it’s interesting to learn what happened. It’s not interesting to spend three hours talking about it. Cut this whole feed to ten minutes, and that would be great.
The screen board lit up –Ori!!! Woop Woop!

Ori just informed them that they could get #Fanswers from a family member. And Andrea of course believes it should be her. Of course, she deserves all the goodness in the world, because she’s a Mormon and she’s so wonderful and special and isn’t she hot and BARF! She acts like it’s already her and then changes her tune for the viewers and says “I would be happy for anyone” (staring at the camera), but seriously keeps acting like it will be her.
Erica goes as far as saying that Andrea should get it. Why is that, Erica? Oh, yeah. Because bite me.
They’re wondering about logistics and last minute flights, maybe it’s skype. They don’t know the producer have been working on it for weeks, but now I bet the producers are wondering why they didn’t think of skype themselves. I know why - it’s because they’ve screwed up everything about this show since the very beginning.
EW! Andrea says, “If I were a viewer I would be curious about her hot husband, I would bring her Hot husband to the house…” So, here’s the thing, Andrea. I’ve seen pictures of him, thanks to your disgusting Prop. 8 campaign, and I know how hot he is - zero. Alex is better-looking.

And we’re eating & sitting. No talking. I’m really glad I decided to skip Batman to watch this. I totally would have been more bored in Batman. (I’m lying.)

Oh, no! Andrea misses her family! Send them home so she can see them! Poor thing!
Erica thinks it’ll be Gary Bussey for her.
Stephanie & Andrea think calls videos for all would be good. It would be, but it’s not going to happen, because I think most of your friends are not speaking to you after you made them watch this stuff.

Why did Kevin get a science kit? Anyway - Caricatures!

Joy gets her caricature first.
Then Erica waitress with boobs and a hamburger.
Gene stunts t-shirt with hat, buff.
Kevin with a big jaw and cop uniform.
Jeffrey with phone
Stephanie with microscope and lab coat.
Didn’t see Andrea, so I’ll assume there’s a big sign that says “Bigot” and she’s wearing a shirt that says, “I am so hot!!”

Ok, they’re supposed to use the science kit to build the prototype tallest stable skyscraper. I’m not watching that, sorry. Remember science class? Me, too. They take a moment to enjoy their pictures and set them up.

Only Steph and Jeffrey are paying any attention to what they’re supposed to be doing.
Stephanie says they’re supposed to use the scientific method.
Blah blah Joy and Andrea. Joy doesn’t want to go. Andrea is comforting her only because she knows everyone else is voting for Gene.
Oh, I’m so bored. Even giving them an activity doesn’t help. ABC should send US activities, to thank us for watching. Or cash. Or trips to Vegas.

Ori tells them that we voted on eating either only when fed or with chopsticks. Of course, it’s only when someone else feeds you.
Gene & Joy talking about the pillow. The epic freakin’ pillow. So bizarre.

Joy: do you think it’s silly? No, Joy, I mostly think it’s creepy.
Gene tries to say it’s creepy, not weird. He’s wrong. The sound goes out, and I’m spared for a moment while I refresh. Hello, Allstate Dog-Guy! I am SO GLAD to see you? Know why? You’re not on The Glass House.

Anyway, we’re back. Erica, Kevin, Andrea talking about Andrea’s fanswer again.

Stephanie & Jeffrey join them.
Andrea says long day waiting for fanswers. Have they even asked the questions yet?
Everyone goes to nap. Wonderful.

Joy is putting patches on Gene's shirts. Wtf?
I’m sorry, I can’t do this. We all know that (a) Erica will ultimately vote for Gene and (b) it doesn’t matter. Look at the numbers. There are seven people. Joy can’t vote. Andrea and Kevin will vote for Gene. Jeffrey will vote for Gene. Gene will vote for Andrea. Stephanie will vote for Andrea. Erica has to vote for Gene, because if she votes for Andrea, it’ll force a tie (and Joy will vote for Andrea). I mean, she has to vote for Gene if she wants to be a lying backstabber.

Of course, Jeffrey did say that it would bother him if Andrea wins, but I still think he wants Gene out more.

Joy decides to accuse Stephanie of throwing the challenge. That’s awesome. She should do that.

Gene – 100% record of calling him out as throwing the challenge and going home.
I am so bored.
They say Gene threw the challenge for Robin? What? OK, I refuse to look back to see what the teams were that week, but Robin’s team lost, and that challenge was so weird, I don’t think it was possible to throw it, unless the Team Captains had refused to guess.
Jeffrey thinks there is a chance Joy could beat Gene in limbo? Really? No team captain has ever returned!! Not one! And Gene has never been near the bottom, and wins the fan votes on most of the live feeds.
I’m done. I’m sure they’ll vote for Gene, and I honestly don’t care. I hate Andrea, but I get so excited when she goes to limbo, and I cry so hard when she comes back, that I just don’t know if my poor heart can take it. I’m out.
Only one live feed tomorrow. And - exciting! You’re getting a guest blog! You get to hear 100% from NOT ME! WOO!

Random Mid-Week Bonus Videos

2012-07-25T16:57:00.003-07:00

100 Sit-Ups and Push-Ups

Ori tells the players that we voted to either have them do 100 pushups and sit-ups or sit around and eat cake. I didn’t see that vote - I totally would have gone for cake. Kevin and Gene decide to just bang it out and do it fast. Erica and Andrea do girly push-ups, but Stephanie and Joy do them properly - Joy actually does them in flip-flops. That’s hardcore. P.S. This is not interesting.

Force Disagrees

Erica and Gene are lying in bed, talking. Wish I could hear what they’re saying. Erica is freaking out about Kevin. Shocking. She’s trying to get Gene to admit throwing a stone at Kevin, so this is from a couple of weeks ago. He says that it’s because of his Fanswer. I’ll be honest - I deeply don’t care why Gene threw the stone at Kevin. I’m only sad that (a) Kevin and (b) Andrea are still around and that, apparently, the American public likes them enough to vote for them. My opinion of the general American public drops daily.

Liquid Food

We saw this on the live feed. Joy was in the middle of making dinner when they told everyone they were going to be stuck on a liquid diet. They know what time these things happen - seriously, make dinner earlier. Whatever.

Live Feed - Wednesday, July 25, Afternoon

2012-07-25T13:05:00.000-07:00

Wow. There’s no one left. Guess that means I can stop watching soon. YAY!!!
Stephanie doesn’t look very happy, but I don’t think the challenge has taken place yet. Also, Joy doesn’t look thrilled either, and if she won the challenge, she would. I wonder what happened this morning.
Gene and Erica also look… guarded, maybe. Not their usual selves. Everyone is on edge.
For some reason, Ori wants to relive the desperate banality that was yesterday’s live feed. I prefer to ignore her.
Ori plays a video asking if the viewer voting has changed their strategy/voting in any way. Didn’t someone already ask that?

Kevin, “My alliance is STRONG!” He’s joking, but he’s also winning, so he’s going to keep doing what he’s doing.
Stephanie says that she’s questioning her strategy because she’s trying to figure out what she can do to connect with the viewers more. Stephanie, sweetie? Can you become stupid? The viewers would like you a lot better if you were stupid, like them. She also says that there’s no point in alliances now, because there’s no one left.
Jeffrey says that he realizes that the viewers are totally in control and there’s nothing they can do. He hasn’t changed anything yet, but he’s got a lot of new information, and he’s open to seeing what will happen.
Erica’s talking about integrity. She wants to keep around people who bring out the best in her and who she wants to interact with, because she’s more likable that way. So, what I hear is that she wants to be left alone with Kevin so she can make out with him. That’s what you heard, too, right?
Gene is changing nothing. Of course not - he’s WINNING.
Andrea has noticed that her alliance is slowly dying. My mind wanders to the contents of my fridge. This show is going to make me fat.
I have no idea what Joy is saying, actually. Probably because I don’t care.

Who do you absolutely not want to win?

Stephanie says Andrea. Apparently, she’s a reality show whore. She was on Family Feud! That’s hilarious. I missed that last night when they were talking about how desperate she is to get onto a show to win money that she can’t be bothered to earn. She also points out that Andrea has the perfect life already. That’s interesting, considering her “I need the money!” strategy.
Erica says Gene because of the double talk. Andrea does it, too, but she thought she could trust Gene, and she can’t.
Andrea says Gene as well. Is it because he’s black? She says that she needs the money for necessities for her family. Yeah, I desperately need to spend $250,000 on food. Gene said that he’s going to spend the money on donations and buying a sports car. She thinks there are better uses for the money - who is she to judge someone else’s financial situation? The show is NOT ABOUT who is the poorest or most needs the money or will do the best thing with it.
Kevin says Joy because, of all the people left, they have no connection.
Gene says Stephanie, because is so smart, and she’ll find some other way to get money in life. Yes, Gene. Genuises don’t deserve to win money. Gene points out that a used car isn’t really a luxury. He’s not spending the entire $250,000 on a new sports car.
Erica says that, other than her husband dying, Stephanie has had a completely charmed life. She’s trying to make it funny, but it falls a little flat.
Joy goes to answer in private. She’s the only one. She doesn’t want Erica to win, because she doesn’t trust her anymore. Joy says that it’s sad that she’s broke, but that’s mostly due to personal choices, like buying hair extensions instead of paying to get her car out of impound. Wow. I can’t believe Joy is telling us that. Cut to Erica touching and playing with her hair. That’s awesome, ABC. Thanks. Basically, Joy is calling on Erica to exercise some fiscal responsibility - if she gets $250,000, she’ll piss it all away, anyway.
Jeffrey says that it’s a bad idea to judge people’s “need” or wants for the money. I agree completely. Everyone has their own reasons, and the game isn’t about need. The idea that someone in life has a lovely, wonderful life, and enjoys all of the benefits of marriage actually has worked to prevent him to have the same is just something that he cannot handle. Can’t blame him. I can’t handle the idea of Andrea winning the money, knowing that the Mormon church will get 10%.

Ori gives them stuff to make pizzas. She tells them to preheat the oven to 400-450, so I immediately feel bad for anyone who will have to eat these very improperly baked pizzas.

They wander around, and we cut to a clip from last week of Erica whining about Kevin. A-GAIN. Seriously, someone please kill me. I can’t keep watching this.

While they’re making pizzas, Ori is going to call them into the confessional. They can bring people if they want.

Jeffrey takes Andrea. What the hell happened to him in limbo? Andrea says they have a “secret alliance.” It’s gone insane. This is so weird. I love that Ori asks them if they have a secret handshake. They do a thumb war. I kinda don’t want to watch anymore.
Ori asks if Jeffrey knew how close he was to going home. Sounds like it was very close.

He said that, basically, the house went crazy when he was gone, he didn’t know how close the vote was, but that he wouldn’t do it again, because he volunteered in the name of a 5 person friendship that doesn’t exist anymore.
My love for Jeffrey is flowing away as fast as viewers are ditching the sinking ship that is this show. That was just WEIRD. Why did he come back from limbo and just denounce all of his friends?

Gene brings Kevin with him. Weird X 2.

Why do you think Erica is gunning for you so hard? Do you think she has a new alliance?

He said Erica hates him because she never wanted him in the alliance, but she needed his vote, and that’s the only reason she accepted him.
Gene knows that Erica’s comments earlier were about wanting to get him out so she could hang out with Kevin.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Gene says that all the girls have an “STI.” Kevin interjects quickly that this does NOT mean a sexually transmitted infection. *phew* I was wondering what was going on in this house. Anyway, it’s the slutty trip to Italy. The rest is not important.

Joy is up next. She brings Gene, of course.

If I’d been paying attention, I could have asked her about being Team Captain.
What if Jeffrey is turning against you?

I don’t think there’s really a “what if” here.
Joy says that she’ll worry about it if and when it happens, but she doesn’t think what happens in the game is a reflection on any of them as people.
She knows that Erica is no longer on her side, but Jeffrey hasn’t given her any indication that he feels the same way. If this is about Kevin, I’m revoking my vote for Erica. I need to know.

Damn. Now I want pizza.

Kevin is up, and he brings Erica.

Would you let Erica and Jeffrey into your alliance, fully trusting them?

He did it last night, basically.
He says that Jeffrey and Erica would be idiots to try to join his alliance, but if they’re dumb enough to want to get on board, he’d be all for it.
The time for alliances is past. That’s true. It happened very quickly.

Erica makes fun of Kevin’s duckface. This is by far the best part of the feed.

Erica goes alone. “Every man for himself!”

Ori asks why she’s alone. Really, there are no more alliances.
Do you think your kind of humor can be taken in the wrong context?

Of course it can. Most senses of human can be taken the wrong way.
She says yes, because she’s not a complete idiot.

Stephanie is up next. She leaves Jeffrey in charge of her pizza and goes alone.

She looks really good in that shade of green.
Do you think you can still trust Gene?

She says that she thinks she can. All of the things people have said that involved double-talk or them not trusting her all involved things that she already knew.
She also is aware that, twice, his vote has saved her from limbo. That’s a good reason to trust him, actually.

Andrea.

Do you practice those overly-dramatic eyerolls or do they come naturally?

She says it’s a terrible habit, but it’s not practiced. She's laughing, though.

It’s 4, so Ori says we’re signing off. Weird. They actually ended it on time. Must be going straight to the challenge today.

Ok, everyone. I’m taking a (MUCH NEEDED) vacation. I would have tried to put it at a different time but, well, people who schedule weddings don’t consult reality TV schedules first (and that’s OK with me). So, there will be a series of guest blogs, I’ll do what I can, and I’ll be back next week. Try to avoid drinking yourselves to death, folks, OK?

Live Feed - Tuesday, July 24, Evening

2012-07-24T21:03:00.000-07:00

The first thing I see is Jeffrey. I’m so excited! And I just can’t hide it! I’m about to lose control and I think I like it! Yay!
Anyway, they’re all in the kitchen, doing dinner stuff.
I was concerned that I would be sitting here, consuming these cookies as solace, but they have become cookies of joy.
It sounds like Stephanie is bottom two again this week.
In the bedroom, Joy and Gene are snuggling. Joy seems upset. Is she the other Team Captain or just being dramatic?

I actually check to see if my live feed is broken, as there is no sound or motion for about 30 seconds.
Damn them. They’re so quiet, I need to go find my headphones.

Back in the kitchen, Jeffrey is wondering if he can tweet. Andrea says they’ll just hold it back if it’s not OK.

Stephanie mentions being nervous, then talks about team captain confessionals. It’s definitely Steph and Joy. They don’t know we’re watching.
They’re now talking about Celine Dion. You want to know about her, Google her.
They’re telling Jeffrey what he missed, but it’s not that interesting. It involved building forts and secret coves, which somehow turned into a food fight.
I’ll be honest - I’m not listening. I’m processing the donation I promised GLAAD if Jeffrey came back.

I get a phone call. Things may or may not happen, but I didn’t see them. No one cares.
When I zone back in, Jeffrey is talking about “wanna be fruit flies,” - women who insist that they love him solely because he’s gay, and think that all gay people must love them, too.

Erica said that she’s a little worried that her video came off that way, because of the way it was edited, but Jeffrey says that it wasn’t.
I realized many years ago that the fact that I seem to have a natural affinity with gays does not mean that I must love all gays if I meet an asshole who happens to date people of the same gender (although, in retrospect, turns out that the person who helped me realize that was only pretending to be gay to meet women).
They move on to talking about things like parking tickets, so… that’s not very entertaining.
They’re talking about calling people out. Stephanie is saying that Erica isn’t the only person who does it, she’s just louder. Erica doesn’t really get that Stephanie is talking about confronting people, and she’s saying that you don’t need an audience to confront someone, and you don’t need to be loud or rude to do it. Other people do it, too. They’re not really communicating well here.

Apparently, Kevin is napping, Andrea is wandering around doing nothing, and Gene and Joy are lying in bed silently, so we’re left watching these three, no matter what they talk about, so I get to watch this discussion on how/where/when to confront someone. Zzzzzzz……

It sounds like Erica wanted Stephanie to back her up in a conversation that didn’t involve her at all.
The camera seriously just zoomed in on Steph’s ass for no reason at all. I guess the producers noticed how much everyone noticed it last night.
Anyway, Steph said that she does speak up when she agrees, but she’s not agreeing just for the sake of agreeing.
Joy walks in silently, stands about 6 inches from Erica, and dishes up a plate of food without looking at her or speaking. Erica doesn’t acknowledge her, either. It’s bizarre. Looks like they really did have a huge fight.
Erica finishes by saying that she wants people to stand up for her, and Stephanie says that, when she does that, Erica doesn’t give anyone else credit and she still feels like no one was on her side, so there’s no point.
Joy is apparently still wandering around, eating, but she’s not speaking to anyone. Andrea is sitting at the table, silently, looking pissed. This is so weird.
Apparently, they’ve all decided to just sit in the room and say what’s on their mind. No more secret plotting. Note that Andrea and Kevin have not agreed to this. So, basically, Erica, Stephanie, and Jeffrey are going to be totally transparent, and everyone else will just listen, then go off and talk about them.

Stephanie asks Andrea about her vacation. She wants a Disney Cruise, but her kids want Hawaii. Stephanie asks about a Disney Cruise to Hawaii… I’m not sure she understands the geography involved there. The Disney Cruises are mostly out of Florida.
Abrupt cut to Gene and Joy, in the living room.

Gene is telling Joy she’s delusional while she’s eating something. She doesn’t respond. Weird.
She is NOT taking being in the bottom well.
This is awful. Even Gene looks bored.
Does Joy want him to call Erica out and yell at him? She walks away to wash her dishes, silently, while the others talk around her as if she’s not there. The show just went from bad to horribly awkward and bizarre. Did I say that already?
It’s only ten. I’m not sure I can do this for two more hours. Something needs to happen!
They’re talking about girly things and lady parts, and Jeffrey is freaking out, because these things are gross. I’m on your side, Jeffrey.
We learn that Stephanie used to teach sex ed? Intriguing. Tell us more, Stephanie. Alas, she doesn’t, because Jeffrey and Erica are mostly ignoring her.
OMG - she chose to teach sixth grade sex ed as a “scared straight” approach. She tried to terrify children out of having sex! This is amazing!
She made a slide show with horribly graphic pictures of sexually transmitted diseases. This is the greatest thing I’ve ever heard. Anyway, just as the conversation gets interesting, we go back to Joy and Gene.

Joy tells Gene they’re going to win. She wonders if she’s not a good enough busser on the date.

The fact that the viewers made her the person busing the tables on the date, of all the available options, was a sign that they don’t really like her very much. That suggested to me that it was likely that she would wind up in the bottom.
Did Steph say that 80% of people have had an STD? Is that what’s going on? Yeah - Gene and Joy are listening to the STD discussion, talking about diseases that men don’t know they have and wind…. you know what? I took sex ed. If you didn’t, you’re probably too young to be reading this (or, you’re crazy religious, and probably in the wrong place).

I’m mildly curious as to what STD they’re talking about, but not enough to ask Google. There’s a vaccine for it.

Steph, Erica, and Andrea are talking about STDs, and Gene and Jeffrey are talking about Star Tours, and it’s all hitting the same mics, and this is the weirdest discussion I’ve ever been in a position to follow. I can hear all five of them. So odd.
Yeah, it was HPV. I was right.
I love Stephanie, “I always called it the Human Pamplona Virus.” That’s right - you get it from running with the bulls! (She knows this is wrong.)

Hmmm…. Kevin lied about napping. Andrea went looking for him, and he’s not there. Is he in the confessional? Is he tweeting? Is he lying on the grass? Is he hiding? Did he sneak down the tubes to follow Mike?
Weird. They’re talking about the patio, and Steph says there’s something weird with the chairs, and she gets bleeped. Is there something top secret about ABC’s chairs?
Everyone wanders away, and Andrea quietly tells Jeffrey that Erica hung out with her and Kevin the entire time he was in limbo, and she and Joy have been fighting.
Did Joy just leave to go to bed? It’s 7:15 p.m.!! I’ve never gone to bed that early!

It’s unfortunate that she can’t turn the lights out, though.

God, this is boring. Joy is sleeping, Erica is in the Twitter booth, Kevin is MIA, Andrea is picking her fingernails at the table, and Gene is wandering around. I didn’t see where Steph went. If I were her, I’d be changing so I could at least sit in the hot tub.
Kevin reappears. *yawn* Erica wants to play passive-aggressive charades - only act out things people do that annoy you.
In that bathroom, Stephanie and Joy. Steph has first pick, and will take Kevin. Joy wants Andrea to split them up, but also thinks that Andrea is a good competitor. If Joy has the option of Andrea or Gene, she needs to pick Gene. Otherwise, Steph will take him.

Joy goes to find Gene and tell him what Steph said. Unfortunately, ABC doesn’t want us to know what it was, because they blocked it. Maybe Steph will let Joy have Gene? That’s not really a good idea. She’s way better taking Kevin and Gene, leaving Joy with Andrea and Erica, and letting Jeffrey pick where to go.

Cut to Kevin and Erica, talking about…. well, it boils down to Erica having a huge crush on Kevin and him enjoying it, taking advantage of it, and flattering her, even though he doesn’t like her at all.

They move to talking crap about Gene.
Kevin is a smug jackass, saying things like, “You’re *finally* seeing it. Some of us have seen it all along.”
I think Gene’s the mole. Assuming that Apollo wasn’t lying.
Blah blah blah Gene and Joy blah blah blah fauxmance blah.
Even Erica knows that this show sucks.
Kevin tells her to stop saying that, because it could get her tossed into the bottom. He has a good point, since we can all see her saying it.

Jeffrey and Andrea are talking about THEIR PREFERRED FORMS OF ICE. Are you fucking kidding me?

I prefer ice in berg form. Specifically, I’d like a giant ice berg to crash into this sinking ship, take it out, and put us all out of our misery.

The camera moves jerkily back and forth while people have conversations about things that don’t matter.q1iujuhujhiuhiyuiyuy[p[‘;p’[[;powszwaszawsazswedeswasdereswedsdfre4redre45rtftr5rftrtrrrt
Oops, sorry. Cleaning my keyboard again.

The most interesting moment of the night occurs when they discuss whether vampires can suck zombie blood. They agree that if a vampire ate a zombie, the vampire would become a zombie. I’m not sure it works that way. Oh! Jeffrey’s roommate does special effect makeup for monster movies! That’s awesome! I wish I were talented. *sigh*
Erica thinks that #Fanswers are useless, because you don’t know who is answering or how they’re interpreting the questions. There’s probably a right way to use them, but she doesn’t know what they are.

Andrea realizes that there is a different demographic watching the show and voting than sitting on the computer and even seeing the #Fanswers to respond. Yes, ABC, and that is what’s wrong with the show (one of many things). Listen to her (about this. Ignore her on absolutely everything else).

The show has changed in the last seven weeks. No shit? Really?
Jeffrey sings a song about purple. That’s a funny word. Purple. Heh.
Stephanie comes up with a game. They are trying to move Cheez-its from their forehead to their mouths without using their hands. I cannot believe I am watching this!
Andrea is planning to take a muscle relaxer. This is actually really important, because Steph hears this conversation, but Joy doesn’t - if she’s taking a muscle relaxer now, with the challenge tomorrow, she’s going to be total dead weight in that challenge - especially because she’s never taken them before. Stephanie does NOT want Andrea on her team.
Jeffrey has an entire room to himself now. It’s been four minutes since I last wanted to cry with boredom.
Cut to Gene and Joy, sleeping. Well, that’s certainly interesting. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Joy tells Gene that she’s thinking about what she’s going home to - her daughter, her job - her boyfriend.
She’s assuming that, after they see the show, her many boyfriends won’t want her. Or something like that. But it does sound like she was seeing someone before the show.
Whatever. They’re sleeping.

Back in the living room, they’re discussing the game.

Kevin shits all over the gods of reality TV by saying that they “can’t” bring one of the eliminated players back.
Stephanie points out that, since the eliminated players aren’t sequestered, they would have a TON of information that no one else has.
They might actually be as bored as I am. They’re building pyramids out of paper cups.
We learn that Andrea has been desperately trying out for every game show out there, because she doesn’t want to do things that normal people do to get money, like get a second job. She talks about all the calls she’s been getting to be on shows, but none of them worked out.

The group disperses, and Andrea is talking about whether she said too much, and I think they’re worried that Stephanie is going to talk to Gene… It’s unclear. Andrea says that she wants to tell the others that she knows she’s being played and she’s not an idiot.
One of them left feces on the toilet? Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! Please tell me that it was at least on the inside?
I am too ill to recap any more.
Seven minutes of nothing later, I lose the sound. Oh, well. They’re just talking about the people who are gone. It would be more interesting if I made up deep, dark secrets about all of them, but I’m too beaten down from watching this garbage.
Kevin, Andrea, Erica, and Jeffrey wind up together talking about the end. They think they’ll be the Final Four. Jeffrey is worried that Erica is going to go tell Steph what they’re saying.

Jeffrey says that Steph is planning to pick Kevin first. It’s funny, because he says that he’ll give her 110% because he wants Joy out… but he would give his full effort either way, and he would give Joy 110%. So, he spends a lot of time saying nothing, because he wants us to think that he’s always going to try equally hard.
It sounds like they’re all targeting Gene to go home. I don’t know why they’re bothering - if Joy’s team loses, Joy is going home. If Steph’s team loses, Steph is going home. Gene is safe either way.
Jeffrey says that he knew Gene was being shady in the challenge, because he was being shady, too. He wasn’t trying to spin the wheel at all.

Andrea is pretty funny here with her, “I knew it!!!”
Jeffery rehashes the challenge, and says that he and Gene talked beforehand. He told Gene that he wasn’t going to be trying at all, and Gene winked or something. Gene didn’t say that he wasn’t going to try, but it was heavily implied. Intriguing.
I guess Jeffrey goaded Kevin to get Mike to call Gene out on the live feed for throwing the challenge. Gene didn’t care. We saw that conversation that Jeffrey is rehashing.
Jeffrey is positive that Gene threw the Apollo challenge, too. Me, too, actually.

Just as it’s starting to get good (not really), it’s over. Yay sleep!

Live Feed - Tuesday, July 24, Afternoon

2012-07-24T13:10:00.001-07:00

Initially, we see Andrea trying to speed-apply her makeup before the feed starts. It’s noon. Shouldn’t she be up by now?
Ori reminds us to vote. I guess the polls are open until 5 pm EST. I thought it was 3:00 pm, so this is good.
Why did Ori send them hats and poles? Sailors and fishermen are different things. I can already sense that this will be a mind-numbing hour.

They’re fishing in the hot tub. Ok. They pull out a randomly tweeted question and answer it.

Ok. Kevin gets to ask Joy anything he wants, and she’s going to go in private and tell us, but he doesn’t get to see it. This is stupid. He says to tell us her favorite thing about her daughter.
Gene is asked how he feels about players “throwing” a challenge. He says it’s a personal choice, but he wouldn’t do it.
Kevin pulls two balls, and he can’t get one to fall, so he just grabs one. He’s asked if the show will change his perspective on life. Whatever. I’m bored.
Erica takes a random moment to throw out a thank you - apparently, she stole all her roommate’s clothes before leaving.
Stephanie is asked what she’ll miss the most - her friends, obviously. She will not miss being able to buy her own food.
Andrea says that, if she won, Kevin would be the runner-up, but only after she says all this bullshit that being runner up makes you a loser.
I randomly vote to make Andrea talk like a pirate for the rest of the hour.
Erica is asked if she’s ever considered quitting the game, and she hasn’t, but she’s had some health issues that made her close.
Joy is asked which family member or friend she’d want to talk to. This is an obvious question for Joy - her daughter.
Gene is asked who the biggest drama addict in the house is. Joy, duh. He says Erica, though.
The other idiots watching this voted to have Kevin talk like a pirate, and he’s not doing it. That’s why I didn’t pick him! Anyway, his question is “viewer’s choice,” whatever that means. Oh, we’re voting for someone else to ask Kevin a question.
Naturally, Erica wins. “Who do you think the fakest person in the house is?” He goes to answer in private, unlike everyone else. Ori says that he has to talk like a pirate. He says Gene is the fakest. I’m glad Kevin knows how terrible his accent is.
Apparently, when I was falling asleep, the viewers voted that someone had to talk like a parrot for the next 25 minutes. Dear lord, I do not want to listen to that. I have a headache already. Of course, Erica wins.
Stephanie is asked whether she’d rather have every hair plucked from her body or have her nails ripped out. She goes with the obvious answer and says hair. Ripping fingernails out is torture! Hair grows back!
Andrea says that the first thing she would do if she won was pay 10% to the Mormon Church. Then, she’d take her family on vacation. Ew. The Mormons do NOT need more money to put people down.
Erica is asked who snores/moans/talks in their sleep. She says Kevin probably snores.
Only 19 more minutes.
Joy gets another player’s choice. Is freaking Kevin going to win again? Why does everyone love him so much?
Nope. Gene this time. He asks her which two people she wants to be standing with at the end of the game. That’s a good question. She says Gene, obviously, and that it’s tough to choose between Jeffrey and Steph, but she would pick Jeffrey.
Gene is asked what he’s faced with that he didn’t expect when entering the Glass House. He didn’t expect to make any friends or like these people.
Kevin is asked about sharing a bathroom with a bunch of people. NO ONE CARES! Please, for the love of God, stop this torture!!!!!! This is insanely boring! I can’t even make it funny! Fucking fuck - this is awful. Fuck my life.
At this moment, the only thing I want in this world is for this live feed to end so I can go enjoy the next five hours of my life.
Stephanie is asked what’s the first thing she’ll do when she leaves The Glass House if she wins. She says, either way, she’s calling her family immediately. She misses her mommy! Poor Steph. I guess her mom called the day before they took her phone and she missed it, and she’s sad. If she wins, “Mom! We’re going on an amazing vacation!” If Steph’s mom is reading this, hope I didn’t ruin the surprise.
Andrea is asked who the most attractive player in the house is. Duh - herself! She says it’s Kevin, but she’s lying. She spent weeks telling us how hot she is.
Erica gets a player’s choice. I know this, because I’m told to vote on who should ask her a question before I see her do anything.
Erica asks again if we think anyone would ever marry her. She’s making me very sad with all this. She’s beautiful, and she’s funny, but her insecurities are taking her over, and she’s turning into a hot mess.
Not surprisingly, Kevin asks her a question. He asks who on her alliance she trusts the least. She says she’s most worried about Gene, because she called him out. Is she crying? Joy asks her if she trusts Kevin more than Gene, and Erica says yes. OMG SHE’S DEFENDING KEVIN OVER GENE AND SAYING IT’S OK THAT HE THREW STONES AT HER. That might hurt her. She trusts Kevin more as a person. Joy starts questioning her, and she says, “I didn’t realize there were follow-up questions.” It comes off as funny, because she’s stuck talking as a parrot, but it would have been really bitchy in her normal tone. Not that I blame her, but it created an awkward exchange between the two of them.

They think we’re signing off, but we’re not.

Andrea is stealing the Glass House props to take home to her children. Really? That’s tacky. She’s so honest.
Joy tells Kevin that her comments were not personal toward him. It’s about the game. He gets separating. He’s also not really listening to her.
Kevin pulls Erica aside to talk about what happens when Jeffrey comes back. I guess he’s worried that someone will tell Jeffrey that he was talking smack about him?
I’m so sad to be watching this, I don’t even notice when the feed ends. Oh, praise Jesus! I am free!… Until 9:00 p.m. I hope to see Jeffrey’s face at that point.

Live Feed - Monday, July 24, Part Two

2012-07-24T11:39:00.000-07:00

Ori welcomes the new viewers and recaps what we just saw.
Next, she tells them that we voted on their most startling moments in The Glass House or if they believe in ghosts/the afterlife. Those aren't really the same thing. Of course, believing in ghosts wins.

Gene tells us that there’s a prank war in the house. This is the first I’ve heard of it, and I’ve watched everything. Interesting.
Gene wants to clarify heaven/hell vs. some other sort of afterlife. He does believe in ghosts, in the sense that unexplainable things sometimes happen.
You know, I have no idea what happens when we die, but I can wait to find out.
Joy does not believe in ghosts. She believes that life is a tapestry, and her daughter is her legacy, and stuff like that.
Erica absolutely believes in ghosts and reincarnation. No need to think about it much.
Andrea believes in spirits, which may not be “ghosts”, per se. She also believes in an afterlife. Shocking.
Stephanie thinks that anything is possible, but she doesn’t claim to know what is going to happen. She mentions the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and I suddenly want to marry her. She goes on to say that it’s more important to live your life to the fullest and not count on there being something more out there. I missed what she said about ghosts, but that’s OK. She knows FSM and his noodely appendage. She is awesome.
Kevin believes in ghosts and an afterlife, but he’s not clear on how it works. I don’t think any of us are.
They go on to talk about psychics and stuff. I don’t listen, mostly because I’m bored. Erica is psychic. Andrea agrees.

Ori decides to ask them all private questions in the confessional.

Kevin takes Erica into the confessional. Interesting. Ori agrees. He must be drunk.

“It worked for Holly.” HA!
Kevin says that he feels like a character in bad fanfiction? Awesome.
How are you doing not smoking?

I thought this was Kevin’s confessional? So did Erica. Oh, well. She says she’s doing OK. The first week was worse.

Did you have real feelings for Kevin? (Ori, “Pretend he’s not there.”)

This is awful, because she did not choose to take Kevin into the confessional with her. These questions should be directed at him.
Anyway, she says that she does have real feelings for him. I’m not going into the rest, but, basically, it can’t work.
Whoa. He never rejected her, she rejected herself? This is ridiculous. Someone needs to talk to this poor girl.

Kevin asks if he gets to hear any questions. Erica said that she thinks it was actually her confessional, and Kevin just tagged along. Ori, “Yes.” Kevin promises to let Erica stay for his.
What would you do if Jeffrey didn’t come back?

She said that she’d spend a lot more time with Kevin. He doesn’t look happy about that. Neither will she, when she realizes that also means sending more time with Mike.
Erica adores Jeffrey, and she wants him back. She’ll basically fall into a pit of despair.
Erica wonders if she can get Jeffrey back if she threatens to start smoking again if they send Mike back instead. I love her.

After they leave the confessional, Kevin and Erica talk about their bizarre relationship . It’s not going to happen, honey.

Gene is next. He takes Joy.

Could you end your showmance with Joy if it was clear that the viewers could send you home because of it?

Gene says that it’s not a showmance, she hates that term, and they’re just friends. She has no feelings for him and he knows it.
He says, 100% that he would unquestionably ditch Joy for $250,000. Can’t say I blame him, all things considered.

Who do you think is the next person to leave the Glass House?

It depends on the next challenge - that’s a good point. The most hated person in the house isn’t going home if his team wins the challenge.
Anyway, Gene thinks that, if possible, Erica could try to hook up with Kevin and Andrea to send him home. He also thinks that it could be Erica (because Kevin wants her out), or Andrea (because TeamJeffrey is against her), but that it won’t be Kevin, because Erica is crazy and will do anything to keep him there.

C’mon. You threw the challenge, right? Right? Right? Right?

He swears that he didn’t. I assumed that he did, before I watched it.
Gene reminds us that Stephanie is a “certified genius, by the rest of the world.” He thinks that the world should be proud that a stuntman could come in only six minutes behind an actual genius. “Stephanie can make a rocket out of things we have in the kitchen right now.”
Really? That’s AWESOME! I want to join Mensa and learn to make rockets!
Gene says, assume that Mike’s BS about all the other players being equal was true - she’s still a genius, and he still isn’t surprised that he couldn’t beat a genius at puzzle solving.

Joy. She goes alone.

What will you take from The Glass House to teach your children?

She wants her children to know the things that she’s learning about herself - be yourself, treat people the way you want to be treated…. the kinds of things that most people know, but you can forget, until you see how other people see you.
Also, be confident in who you are, own your mistakes, and love yourself.

Do you like Gene the way Erica likes Kevin?

No. They have a very different relationship than Kerica.
I’m distracted by her cleavage.
She says that her relationship with Gene involves mutual feelings and respect, and Erica’s relationship with Kevin does not. Ouch.

Who is your favorite player?

Ori, “Not including me.” Sad. Ori is my favorite.
She says Gene. She also loves Stephanie for a lot of reasons.

Andrea. She also goes alone.

She gets uglier every time I have to look at her.
Would you rather see Erica or Joy be sent home?

I imagine the real answer is “yes”.
She says that she’d like to send Joy home first, because it would make the house more interesting. Also for the effect on Gene.

How do you feel about being the best looking woman in the house and the most real person?

She’s neither, so I am simply not going to listen to her response.
She does claim that she doesn’t think she’s the most attractive, but she spent a lot of time talking about how hot she is the first couple of weeks, so I call bullshit.

What do you believe has been your biggest mistake in the Glass House?

Putting too much trust in the other players, not the viewers.

Stephanie. Also alone.

What do you believe you need to do to gain more support from the viewers?

She wants to focus more on connecting with the viewers and less with the other players.
She’s in a weird, unfortunate situation because she was constantly being drafted by a team that chose her specifically to try to get rid of her.
She’s also trying to open up more, because that’s what she thinks the viewers want. Of course, she doesn’t know what we’re seeing, but she’s trying to talk more and show more aspects of her personality.
She knows FSM!!!! Vote for her in honor of his noodely appendage!

As having the nicest booty in the house, would you ever use that to your advantage? Gene, perhaps?

She’s laughing hysterically, because she had a lot of booty issues growing up.
She mentions that her first husband would freak out any time she gained a few pounds. It wasn’t until recently that she stopped being so self-conscious about it, but she is glad that we like it, since she has no boobs.
Also, she and Gene are friends and Stephanie has no interest in him.

Would you consider aligning with Andrea and Kevin, since Joy and Erica are losing some credit?

She had no idea that Joy and Erica are losing any credit.
At this point in the game, she thinks alliances are irrelevant and it’s more about the end game and every man for himself.
She said that aligning with Andrea and Kevin would do nothing but make her look like a backstabbing asshole. She’s right, actually. I’m glad she’s self-aware enough to realize that.

Kevin is actually called into the confessional this time, and Erica goes with him.

How are you enjoying those woman nails?

He only has 8, because there weren’t any thumbs that fit. Going to the bathroom is “pretty dicey”. So, they’re pretty and fun, but not very practical.
Erica chimes in that Gene’s regular nails are that long. She says he thinks it’s sexy, but Erica and Kevin disagree.

Did watching Erica and Jeffrey make you jealous?

No, because he’s not that into her.
He’s still talking, but… whatever.

If Mike doesn’t come back, would you start an alliance with the others?

No.
He does say that he doesn’t care about anyone else, but he wants to see Erica and Andrea at the end. Andrea totally sounds like an afterthought. Trouble in paradise?

Entering the final hour, Ori recaps the episode again. Ori tells us that Jeffrey v. Mike is the closet the vote has ever been. Vote for Jeffrey!!
Ori again tells them to say who to vote for? I did this.

We learn that Jeffrey gave Stephanie his #Fanswer and told her to reveal it to Gene only after he was gone. That’s interesting, unlike the rest of this.
Stephanie points out that everyone ignoring Mike and not talking to him is not interesting, whereas Jeffrey makes for interesting TV.
Kevin and Andrea interpret Jeffrey’s action to mean that he wants to go home. That’s asinine. If Jeffrey wanted to go home, he could pull a Jacob and just quit.

In the living room, there are noises and stuff coming from the tubes. Ori is talking about a “special communication device.” Awesome! She sent a Ouija board up the tubes. If you have the slightest interest in watching people play Ouija, find the live stream and watch the last half hour.

Andrea is questioning whether her religion would allow her to participate, even though she doesn’t believe in it. I’m very confused as to what she’s saying, but I’m pretty sure it’s time for me to drink.
Ori calls them into confessional to tell us what question they’re going to ask the spirits. Whatever.

Gene actually rolls his eyes as he’s called away. I’m with you, Gene. He wants to know if Erica is trying to “backdoor” all of TeamJeffrey to keep Kevin in the game? Probably.
Andrea can’t be bothered to play, but she says that she can see them moving it. Shut up, Andrea. Either play, or go somewhere else.
Andrea then calls Gene out for pushing the thingy around. He spelled out genius, so whatever. BitchFace’s question is, “Is Jeffrey coming back?”
Joy wants to know if Erica will stab her and Gene in the back to make herself look good in front of Kevin. Sadly, I think maybe she would.
Joy literally walks back, sits down, and shoves the triangle (what is that thing called?) to “yes”. Way to rig it, Joy.
Kevin wants to ask if we are “finally tired” of Joy “the buzzkill” and whether we will finally vote her into the bottom 2. Well, Kevin, if it helps, I’m done voting for her. Everyone who doesn’t know the question went to “no,” then Kevin yanked the damn thing to yes. Planchette? Is that what it’s called? I wasn’t invited to sleepovers as a child.
Thanks, ABC, for showing us Erica peeing and wandering out of the bathroom without washing her hands.
Erica wants to know if we think she’s “marriage material.” Poor thing. The answer is “victor” which I take to mean that she’s totally marriage material.
How much, on a scale of 1-9, should she trust her friends on the show? The answer she gets is “B.C.” Huh.

My eyes glaze over, and 8 minutes later or so, they all say good-night. The feed doesn’t actually end.

Everyone wants to shower off their costumes, so I don’t know there will be a lot to see her.
Andrea is whining about the food. Stephanie decides to make Hot Pockets. She tells Andrea how much fun the show is, she’s having an awesome time, and she feels like a kid again. She’s dancing around like a total dork. It’s adorable.
In the bedroom, Stephanie and Joy talk about the questions she was asked in the confessional.
There’s nothing to see here. ABC must agree, because that’s it.

Week Six Video Summary

2012-07-24T09:17:00.004-07:00

Most of these are really short and uninteresting. Thus, the very short summaries.

Bathroom

Erica is doing her hair in the bathroom, and Andrea is talking to her. If I were any of them, I’d pretty much just refuse to talk to her ever again. Andrea is saying that she’s screwed. Did she say that she wants to vote against Mike? Ok. She’s just showing what a two-faced bitch she is. Nothing new here.

Andrea and Gene Talk

Gene is wearing Jeffrey’s clothes. I think I saw this before. I hate Andrea. She’s mad at Gene for lying and trying to play her - which is exactly what she’s doing to everyone not named Kevin.

Know It All

More boring strategy talk. Alliances, blah blah blah. Gene thinks there are three game changes left in the house. Kevin wants to save Mike. Sounds like this is before Holly left. Why is this called Know it All? Whatever. Save your two minutes.

Rocky Relationship

Gene and Joy are lying on one of the tiny twin beds together. This must be before they got put in the friends room. Anyway, Joy is bummed out. Life in The Glass House is getting to her. I think this is from last Tuesday’s “We’re all so bummed out” live feed. For no apparent reason, Gene brings up an argument they had the night before. This is bizarre and awkward.

Andrea Dilemma

Andrea in the bathroom where Joy is crying, again. She’s apologizing for the way someone spoke to her - I’m going to assume Mike. Oh, I saw this. It was on the live feed. No need to relive it.

Viewers Rock

From last week: Stephanie and Erica are ecstatic that Holly and Mike were the bottom two. Nothing to see here.

Gene Talks to Mike

This starts with Holly, Kevin, and Mike plotting, as per usual. Gene walks in to try to convince them to pick him for their teams. Weird.

Holly Thanks Mike

This is the night before Holly goes into limbo. She’s sure she’s not coming back, for obvious reasons. Anyway, she and Mike have a conversation where they both pretend they’re going to keep in touch after the show, and Mike says some condescending bullshit that he says is “fatherly.” Whatever.

Nails and Wigs

I’ve seen this video before. I don’t remember when or how, but I’m not recapping it again.

Never Been Kissed

Holly and Joy in the bathroom. Holly is talking about her strict upbringing - she says she’s never had a boyfriend. Joy asks if she’s ever been kissed, and she says that’s “too personal.” So, the title is misleading. She doesn’t say that she’s never been kissed.

105 Fanswer

I feel like I’ve seen this one before, too. Anyway, Jeffrey reminds us that the fans told him that it’s not a dick move to put someone in limbo two weeks in a row, but Steph points out that the Fans specifically told her to put Andrea in limbo, so they agree to vote for Andrea. *yawn* Old news.

Jeffrey and Erica Talk

Ori gives us a “bonus scene” from the last episode. Erica and Jeffrey are talking about how weird and awkward Kevin’s crush on Andrea is. “He’s all defending her honor…. ‘she’s a married Mormon woman!…. That I would like to marry if given the chance.’” Awesome. I’m glad I’m not the only one who is really disturbed by their dynamic.

Live Feed - Monday, July 23, Part One

2012-07-23T22:02:00.000-07:00

We start with Stephanie wondering who to talk to Vegas. I’ll go! I really think, if we meet, you’ll like me.
Once again, HorridBitch sits above it all and better than everyone else by climbing to the top of that weird red thing.
Ori fills us in on what we just saw. Erica looks nervous. Kevin looks like a smug bastard.
I vote that Mike lost the challenge, not Gene.
Interestingly enough, Ori does not ask who they want to return. I guess she realizes it’s obvious. Ori instead ask them to name the sneakiest player in the house.

Andrea says it’s Gene, because he has an alliance with every person in the house. UGH.
Stephanie says that it’s HorridBitch because she has conversations with everyone at different times, trying to make them distrust Gene, and then lies to Gene about these conversations she had. I guess she also made multiple comments about needing to get off a sinking ship. Steph says that she’s denied saying it, but HorridBitch says she doesn’t.
Kevin says that he thinks Gene is good at networking, and that is OK, so the sneakiest is Stephanie, looking into windows or sneaking around. He thinks she can read lips. She’s laughing. She says that she’s actually an undercover spy. Ori, “I thought she was always cleaning?”
Joy thinks that it’s also HorridBitch. From this angle, her forehead looks bigger than James Van Der Beek’s. Why does everyone think she’s so hot?
Erica agrees that HorridBitch is sneaky. She thinks that Gene is also sneaky, and he was doing and saying things that she didn’t know about. She’s a little concerned with his deciding the vote at the last minute. She also doesn’t trust him.
Gene says that there’s a difference between “being sneaky” and “getting caught every time you try to do something.” He thinks that Stephanie must be the sneakiest, because he’s never caught her doing anything wrong. He’s caught everyone else being sneaky, so she must be sneaky enough to avoid getting caught. Nice. Gene then tells us that before he has a semi-sneaky conversation, he tells someone else in advance.

Ori asks what they think of voting Jeffrey into limbo. The viewers vote at the same time.

Stephanie reminds us all of what a hurtful, violent, and generally terrible person Mike is. She also says that every time someone from his alliance has left, he’s said bad things about them. She then reminds us how Jeffrey is 10,000 times more awesome than Mike. He tries to do what he thinks is the right thing to do.
Kevin makes a snotty comment about defending Mike in private so the others don’t interrupt him. What a fucking jerk. He wants Mike back. Big surprise. Kevin encourages all of Jeffrey’s fans to turn against him. Uhhhhh… ok. Sure.
Every week, I hate Kevin and SnottyBitch more. I’m not sure how long I can keep watching, especially if Mike comes back.
Erica also goes into private to tell us that she loves Jeffrey, and if we love Erica, we’ll vote to bring Jeffrey back. Already did, sweetie. She says that it wasn’t about cockiness - he thought it was his best move. Erica also wanted to tell us in private what she thinks of Mike
Ori shows us that 51% of the viewers blame Gene for losing the challenge. That concerns me.
HorridBitch makes ugly faces while saying horrible, stuck up things about how she is so much better than everyone else. Or whatever. Seriously, her forehead is huge. How has no one ever noticed? She’s talking about how cocky and arrogant it is to go into limbo 100% convinced you’re coming back. Does that include leaving all your shoes and stuff in the house because you know you won’t need anyone to pack them up and mail them to you?
Joy wants Jeffrey back. Duh.
Gene is upset with Mike for “pulling an Apollo” on the live feed and blaming him for losing the feed. Gene also says that he has a lot of respect for Jeffrey to take such a ballsy move, and it shows that Jeffrey trusts the information he’s getting from the viewers, including his #Fanswer. All of the words Gene is saying are wonderful.
While Gene is talking, I take a moment to vote that Erica needs to give up on Kevin.

Ori shows the fan reactions to the episode. Watching this is pointless. Some people like Mike, some like Jeffrey. Whatever.
Ori then does some weird, bizarre special effects. They’re having a Glassquerade? I can feel my brain cells fleeing my head. The viewers are supposed to vote on costumes. I refuse.

Ori says that we’re voting on whether they should be vampires or zombies. I see no votes. Erica and Joy are vampires, Steph is a zombie, Andrea is a vampire. Gene is a zombie, too. Kevin is also a vampire. They’re creating their costumes, so I think it’s time to find my jammies.
Ori shows a flashback to where we learned that Kevin and Erica are in the Enemies room. Erica tells us that she likes the bed, but that’s really awkward. She finds the whole thing even more humiliating than Kevin’s constant rejection of her. Kevin tells us that he’s not going to get in a relationship with Erica just to make the viewers happy, and he’s going to sleep on the floor.
Gene and Joy are in the friends room again. She likes being with him, but it makes it difficult to get alone time. Erica wanders in, and Steph and Joy ask how she feels. There’s a sexy lingerie joke. Tell tell Erica that they’ll be there for her.
This is really boring. You know what I haven’t done in awhile? Balanced my checkbook! I bet that is WAY MORE INTERESTING than what is on my computer screen right now! Woo-hoo!

Ori decides to read comments and ask questions from Twitter. Where’s my comment, Ori?

Would you ever, in any situation, vote yourself into limbo? *yawn* Seriously, we all know what they’re going to say.

Gene can’t think of a situation where he would do that, because he never wants to go to limbo. If it ever could have happened, it would have been week 1 against Alex.
Erica said that such a scenario might exist, but she can’t envision one. She goes on to defend Jeffrey’s move.
Joy said that there are a few scenarios. The game isn’t necessarily about stabbing other people in the back or doing everything necessary to stay out of limbo. It’s a game of choices. She also says that there are more important things than just staying in the game.
Stephanie said that she wouldn’t, she thinks it’s too risky, but she supports Jeffrey’s decision.
Shut the fuck up, Andrea. She’s repeating what she already said, and since her voice is like fingernails in my brain, I have to mute her. Sorry.
Kevin says that he wouldn’t, because there’s no way to know where you stand with the viewers, which is a good point. He thinks it’s too much of a risk and it’s a sign of arrogance.

When do you think you will start playing on an individual basis?

Andrea says she’s always been playing an individual game. I guess when the entire Mormon church is voting, despite not watching the show, that’s easier. She’s playing an “individual game” with Kevin? That doesn’t make sense.
Stephanie thinks they’re in a transition between the usefulness of workable bonds and that it may be necessary to move to a more individual game. She doesn’t think that needs to mean stepping all over the other players.
Kevin says it’s already an individual game. Uh-huh.
For some reason, Ori calls Kevin after he’s done. Awkward pause. Drink!
Joy is going to continue playing the same way she has been, but things could change as others show their “true colors.” She also says that she’s been playing her own game this whole time.
I want a cookie.
Erica thinks they’ve entered that phrase. The game is changing. She doesn’t think there are really any alliances left, because the game is about working with the viewers.
Gene says he’s been playing an individual game all along. For some reason, Ori asks Gene to repeat his answer. I already heard the whole thing.
Hmmmm… as I’m going through my accounts, I see that I eat out a lot.

Would you ever throw a challenge?

Kevin, of course, says emphatically that he would never even consider it. That’s not the conversation he had with Mike last Tuesday.
Andrea can see the benefit if you know that you’re not going to limbo, but she doesn’t feel safe, so she wouldn’t. You’re not safe, because you’re awful. Moving on.
Stephanie said that these are all team challenges, so it’s not easy to “throw.” She wouldn’t intentionally throw a challenge, but, if her team isn’t giving her any effort or support, she would give them the same effort that they give her. So, she might not try 100%, but she wouldn’t “cross her arms and refuse to cross the finish line.”
Joy says, “Heck no!” She’s almost as emphatic as Kevin. Of course, Joy has never been on a team where she was 100% safe if her team lost, so I can see where she might not want to do it.
Erica wouldn’t throw it, and she thinks that drawing a line between not giving your all and actively throwing is bullshit. She said that she might have in a very extreme situation, but she wouldn’t do it. Andrea is doing something weird behind her, but it’s blurry and I try not to look directly at her, so I miss it.
Gene, again, says no. He gives a weird example that makes no sense that anyone throwing the challenge would be more obvious than refusing to cross the line? No.

Oh, good. They’re going to get drunk.
Another bonus scene for no discernible reason. It’s Gene and Joy in the Friends room. They try to watch, and Ori yells at them.
This is so painful, I’m going to get cookies. No one tell my trainer, OK? It’ll be our little secret.

The bonus scene starts again. Joy tells Gene she isn’t wearing a bra and touches her breasts. Earth shattering stuff. She’s teasing him about being celibate. She also tells him that she can’t possibly go for that, so they can’t work. She’s actually right, if he took a vow of celibacy.

I really can’t hear this over my A/C and it’s July, so the A/C wins. I have no idea what they’re saying.
It ends with Gene saying to never fall in love in The Glass House.

Someone asks Biggy or TuPac? I don’t even know what that means, so whatever.
Ori tells them that the viewers chose to send them “offal dishes” rather than sushi. Why has no one told Joy to eat a bug yet?

We’re watching them eat tongue and stuff. Really?

Ori calls the players to the video wall to show a question from a viewer via Tout.

Ori is all annoyed that no one has heard of Tout, and she won’t explain it. ‘k. It’s not their fault they never heard of it. No one ever heard of it before this.
Who makes the best cocktails?

Erica says it’s Stephanie, because she makes mocktails, even when they have no alcohol.
Stephanie admits that she’s awesome at making cocktails.
Kevin says it’s between Gene and Stephanie. Erica points out that she and Kevin would drink mouthwash if necessary, and he agrees.
Joy says that Jeffrey also makes awesome cocktails, so he should come back.
Gene says that he, Jeffrey, and Stephanie should share it.
Andrea says that the rest of them are more entertaining when drunk. Because it lets her feel so superior.

Which eliminated player would you want back? Which would you not want back?

Kevin does not want Alex back. He would bring Jacob back, because he seems easy to beat.
Andrea does not want to see Jacob back. She’d like to see Ashley back.
Stephanie also doesn’t want Jacob back, because he just walked away for no reason. She would love to see Apollo come back.
Erica would also like Apollo back. She doesn’t want Alex back.
Gene would like Apollo to come back so he could hear the rest of his plan. Apparently, he had a 42-step plan.
Ori tells them that Apollo’s not coming back. Isn’t Apollo still hanging around?
Joy would like Apollo back, also. Really? He was so unbelievably boring! He didn’t do anything interesting in the episode, or the videos, or on the live feeds. Joy would like to not see Mike come back, more than anyone else. I love that she chose someone who hasn’t even been eliminated yet.

If you could restart the game, would you change your strategy?

Stephanie says that something is not right, so she thinks maybe she should have asked more specific game play questions and tried to get better feedback.
Erica doesn’t really have a strategy, so she can’t so much change it.
Andrea said that they had no idea what the game was until the day before, making it difficult to strategize. Yet another reason for ABC not to renew this show. Anyway, she said that she might do things differently.
Joy says that hindsight is 20/20. Part of her always has things that she might have done differently - she’s an emotional person.
Kevin wouldn’t change anything. Of course not - he’s winning.
Gene also wouldn’t change anything. He’s also winning, so this is also not a surprise.
Erica remembers to say that she would change what happened with Kevin in the beginning, because it made things awkward.

We’re halfway through, it’s late, I’m tired, so that’s all for now. More tomorrow.

Season 1, Episode Six

2012-07-23T21:49:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I know that this hasn't aired on the West Coast yet, but nothing happened in this episode that I didn't already cover in the live feeds or predict from reading Twitter. If you don't want to be spoiled, you're on the wrong site. I want to save three minutes tomorrow and upload this now. Anyway, onto the recap...

The recapper just called Holly the “twenty-two year-old virgin.” Huh. We’re reminded that Kevin and Mike are a bunch of jerks. It then tells us who everyone else is. I assume this was done in an effort to try to pick up viewers from Bachelor Pad, since Emily’s fans on The Bachelorette have been tuning out like crazy. I know these people, so I sit back while ABC wastes more of my time. I’m bored already. That’s not a good sign.

As Holly and Andrea goes down the tubes, Stephanie tells us that, for the first time since the beginning, “There are more wieners in the house than vaginas.” Nice. Kevin tells us in the confessional that he’s doomed if Andrea doesn’t return - way to support Holly.

In the kitchen, Jeffrey tells Mike and Kevin that he wasn’t the one who threw the stone at Kevin. They decide it must be Gene, so Kevin switches to trash-talking Gene. It’s al little refreshing, since he’s not talking about the girls for a change. Jeffrey says that Gene is the biggest competition.

Random cut. Apparently, the girls decided to have a kissing competition with Jeffrey. Erica starts. She tells us that she was imagining kissing Kevin. Kevin doesn’t look that happy. Joy actually removes Kevin’s glasses and then mounts him before kissing him. This is crazy porno tongue. It’s, to quote Mike, “Dirty.” Kevin and Mike both look appalled, yet strangely intrigued. Gene does not look happy. Poor guy. The judges say that, with Joy, they got a “strip club gone too far vibe.” Joy wins for showmanship. Erica wins for authenticity. Joy wants to know what made Erica’s kiss more authentic, and Steph tells her that it was very porno. Kevin tries to act like he didn’t agree and throws it all on Stephanie.

The next morning, the players are called into the living room. Ori tells them that the viewers were voting on walking backwards all day, or skipping everywhere. Walking backwards wins, of course. Stephanie tells us the results of matching the players up with their high school personas, and they all commit and walk around acting like weird high school students. Erica- drama queen, Jeffrey - class clown, Joy - the tease,Kevin - the jock, Mike - the bully, Gene - class president, and Stephanie (surprise!)- the nerd. At the end of the party, Erica says that Kevin has been flirting with her all night, and she is going to spoon with him, no matter what anyone says. Erica climbs into Kevin’s bed. Instead of asking her to leave, Kevin goes and finds Stephanie, and asks her to remove Erica from his bedroom for him. What a pussy. Stephanie is infinitely a better person than Kevin, so she went in there to ask Erica to share pizza with her. Erica is humiliated and crying. She leaves as Kevin says, “That’s the last thing I need.” Erica climbs into bed in the friends room with Gene and Joy. She’s really upset. We cut to commercial, as she’s crying.

When we return, we’re at the toga party from last Monday night. It’s actually been a few days, but we don’t see that. Erica is upset with Kevin for having Steph pull her out of his bed. He tries to say that he wants to make bad decisions sober, not bad decisions drunk. Then he’s all douchey about how he made a mistake. He promises not to hurt her feelings. Mike tells us that Kevin is “1000% uninterested.” Joy says that maybe Kevin should tell Erica how he feels before having Mike tell all of America. She’s got a valid point, although I don’t think it came out right. I’d rather have a guy break up with me in person than have his friend do it behind my back on national TV. Anyway, Joy goes to climb into bed to pout, and Gene tells Steph that he’s decided to sleep in the solo bedroom for one week. They’re hanging out, chatting, as Joy watches them through the curtain. Nothing is happening, but the weird camera angles try to make it look like it is. Joy yells at Gene, and pulls all the blankets off the friends bed to go sleep on the couch. Gene has no idea what he did wrong. You’re not the only one, Gene.

Erica walks in, and Joy tells her what Mike said. Erica goes off to confront Mike. Mike admits to telling Joy that Kevin couldn’t be less interested in her. She asks Kevin point-blank how he feels. He non-answers, and Mike tries to explain to her how Kevin feels. Are they really in high school? Then Kevin says that he and Erica spoke about it outside. She’s upset that Mike told everyone. Joy and Mike have a big fight, again, about how Mike is a complete jackass with no sense of appropriate behavior or boundaries. Now that I know what all of his censorship tweets are about, I agree fifteen times more with Joy.

Ori calls them into the living room. Holly and Andrea come up the tubes, and Holly goes back down. I knew this was coming, yet I’m still sad. I’ve decided to spend the rest of this recap pretending Andrea doesn’t exist. When I write SnootyBitch, you’ll know who I mean. We see SnootyBitch talking to Kevin. He tells her that Jeffrey came to them and told him that he wants Gene and Joy out. They also claim that Gene is two-faced for voting for Kevin - the viewers told him to, basically. Whatever. Gene really is getting a bad edit. Anyway, he makes a comment to Joy about how the viewers will keep her around to make him happy, and she gets all mad and says something like, “I’m not your concubine” and storms off. That’s hilarious. Everyone else thinks so, too.

Move to the Team Captain reveal. This is interesting, because it’s only 25 minutes in. Last week, we got this at 10:48. Oh, well. The lowest two are Stephanie and Mike. Kevin is surprised. Stephanie has the least votes, so Mike gets to pick first. In the confessional, Mike is so excited that Stephanie is in the bottom, and Fuckingwhorebitchassfaceslutbombskankysnottyprude is in the background dancing and squeling like a stuck pig having its first orgasm. God, I hate her.

Back in the living room, everyone is surprised. Gene tells us that the viewers made a mistake and they need to get to know the “real Stephanie.” If you watch all the live feeds you see her, and she’s great, but I doubt anyone but me is watching the live feeds. Steph is really upset. She’s talking to Joy, trying to figure out why she’s in the bottom. She’s worried that she’s not being open enough and that she’s too reserved, so the viewers don’t like the logical side. The next morning, they draft teams. Mike does not want Kevin on his team, because he knows he can’t beat Kevin in limbo. He picks Gene. Oh, Mike, you can’t beat Gene, either. Steph winds up with Erica, Joy, and Kevin, and Mike gets Jeffrey and Andrea. Kevin acts surprised not to get picked. Stephanie is suspicious that Mike didn’t pick Kevin. In the bedroom, Kevin is telling Mike that his team has no reason to want to win. That’s why Mike probably should have picked Kevin. Anyway, Mike ponders his folly as we head to commercial.

We’re back. The challenge. The teams have to decode a series of clues to reach an answer on one final question. The winning team puzzle solver gets a prize. Stephanie reminds us that she loves puzzles, so she wants to be the puzzle solver. I’m not really sure this is so much puzzle solving and more matching shit. It’s weird. They call out words and roll around and then Steph gets a bunch of pictograms to put together. Kevin tells us that the idea of throwing the challenge never occurred to him, solely because he never wanted to go against Stephanie in limbo, and he knew he was going if they lost. As I’m looking at the challenge, it wouldn’t have been easy for him to throw - he’s working with Erica, spinning on a wheel. It would have been super easy if he was working against her. Anyway, team two enters. Mike says that Gene is a brilliant guy, and the best one to be puzzle solver. In confession, Jeffrey admits that he was trying to figure out how to mess it up while on the wheel. Gene actually does rock the first clue - he gets it without going through all of the clues. But Mike claims that, watching Gene, he was acting like “a drunk tree sloth.” We do see one of them that’s wrong, which Mike should have caught, but he missed it. It’s clear from the video that, while Jeffrey is not trying at all, the one Mike messed up was responsible for a huge loss of time. Why am I recapping this? Does anyone care? My favorite part is SnottyBitch scrambling and pulling as hard as she can to spin the wheel, and Jeffrey just sitting there, chilling. He’s not even touching the wheel. Mike is freaking out and bitching about Gene as we go to commercial.

Back in the living room, we learn that the bonus prize for the puzzle solver was a VIP package for two at Cesar’s Palace and Celine Dion tickets. I want to go! Anyway, Stephanie’s team did the challenge in just under 12 minutes. Mike’s team took 17 minutes. I wonder how much of that was wasted by Gene looking for the “-ers” after Mike wrongly told him to use it. Anyway, Stephanie is really excited to be going to Vegas. Cut to Jeffrey telling Stephanie and Erica that he’s thinking about volunteering for limbo to bump Mike out and try to force Andrea into being Team Captain. Stephanie thinks it’s too risky. I realize that huge risks come with huge rewards, but… I don’t know if I would do it. I can appreciate Jeffrey’s point of view, but I’m a little afraid. Erica’s worried that the viewers would vote to Mike purely to screw them, but Jeffrey thinks that the kind of people who watch this show would go for it. Mike tells us that he’s thinking a lot about his kids, and he let them down. Quit, Mike, quit! DO IT! DO IT!!! Mike goes back to blaming Gene for his loss. Mike is talking to the pictures of his kids. Weird.

After the break, Andrea is sure she’s going to limbo. She and Kevin vote for Jeffrey. Erica also votes for Jeffrey, but she’s sad about it. She’s afraid, but he said it was what he wanted to do. We see Jeffrey vote for himself. I hope this pays off, Jeffrey. Everyone voted for Jeffrey. Mike is happy, and Kevin says, “You got your wish.” UGH. I sincerely and desperately hope that Mike does not come back. Erica is crying as she says good-bye to Jeffrey and Mike. I hope this is the last time I ever have to see Mike’s face. Nope - now he’s going off on Jeffrey volunteering for limbo and insisting that we not reward that behavior. I will always do the exact opposite of what Mike tells me. Jeffrey tells us that he’s trusting in the viewers. He hopes it pays off. Me, too.

Week 6 Twitter Summary

2012-07-23T11:53:00.003-07:00

So, summarizing what I see on Twitter is far less entertaining now that Holly is gone (R.I.P., Holly). But, I do enjoy putting pieces of the puzzle together based on what they post, so here’s what I’ve gleaned from Twitter over the past week or so. Guess we’ll find out tonight if I’m right.

ABC’s vote tallying system is as messed up as everything else about this show. I guarantee that most people voted for either Gene/Joy to go on the date or Kevin/Erica. However, there were probably a few people who voted for Kevin/Andrea (which would be funny), Kevin/Mike (because they inexplicably enjoy the bromance), or Gene/Stephanie (to make Joy jealous). That means that Kevin and Gene would have ended up with the most votes. So, instead of picking the couple with the most votes, which makes sense and would have been entertaining, they pick the two people with the most votes, which is stupid. That also confirms what I suspected about why we’re getting some really stupid pairings in the friends/enemies room (or, we were in the beginning).
Jeffrey volunteered for limbo because he thinks he can beat Mike, and he wants Andrea to be Team Captain next week. I suspect that he’s wrong about how large her fan base is, but I hope I’m mistaken.
Joy and Erica had a big fight, probably related to Erica’s bizarre obsession with Kevin. It didn’t appear to be affecting their alliance on the live feeds, but I’m expecting some fireworks when the episode airs.
Gene is convinced that he has a huge following and the fans love him. The evidence suggests that he is right.
They all had to dress as hipsters. I don’t recall seeing a vote on this, but whatever. I can’t imagine that it’s entertaining. Stephanie thought hipster Kevin was hot, though, so that’s entertaining, as it appeared to bother Erica.
Erica quit smoking during week 6 on The Glass House. Sounds like supremely bad timing to me. I’m forced to wonder if she did it because Kevin wouldn’t kiss someone with smoker’s breath.
Kevin is bitching that he can’t Tweet because other people are in the booth all the time. Maybe that’s because he’s stupid enough to plot right outside where the person in the booth can hear him? Just a guess. Anyway, Kevin is desperate to bring Mike back.
Speaking of stupid, Mike and Kevin had a long discussion on how to double-cross Gene while he was sitting in the Twitter booth, tweeting everything they said. Oops!
ABC still hasn’t found a high school student who is willing to work for minimum wage, because they’re still sending out tweets from one player which was supposed to come from someone else.
No one wants to be voted out at this point. Lots of tweets asking for votes and support.
Erica is ecstatic that she has fans.
Everyone in the Glass House drinks too much (except Andrea, of course).
Stephanie knows that Kevin, Andrea, and Mike have been actively plotting against her.
What the hell is The Cove?
Food fights? They’re still really bored in there.
Nothing else remotely interesting.

Live Feed - Thursday, July 19

2012-07-20T04:48:00.000-07:00

I love that Ori is still calling us viewers, not fans.
The viewers congregate in the living room. Kevin is yawning. Jeffrey suggested that he go take a nap. Kevin looks mad, but I can’t see what he’s mouthing, and I can’t hear him.
Do you consider yourself a defensive player or offensive player?

Kevin is offensive. That’s totally working for you, Kevin. Keep it up with that.
Gene says that offense gets viewers, but defense wins game.
Steph says that she’s been more about defending others who can help her stick around, then switch to offense.
Joy is also defensive. Interesting.
Andrea punts by saying that she’s both. Nice non-answer.
Jeffrey starts to say that the best defense is a good offense, but he says the best offense is a good defense. I’m so confused. He calls himself offensive.
Erica has no idea how she’s playing the game. She’s just hanging out. She seems to have a lot of fans, so maybe the “Clueless Strategy” works. Who knows?
Mike starts to talk about playing defensively, then says he needs to take the offense.

Mike calls Gene out by asking if he lost the challenge yesterday. Gene, “Yes. You were on the team that lost.” Mike then says that Gene is telling people that he single-handedly lost the challenge.

Gene wants to know who said he said that. Mike tries to backpedal. He wants it to stay between them.
Gene says that, if Mike is calling him out based on what someone is saying he said, he wants to know who said it. He has a right to know.
Andrea mutters to herself that she wants people to be honest. Joy starts laughing hysterically, and Stephanie and Erica are trying not to giggle.
Joy cuts in to ask if they can talk about this on the live feed. Ori, “Absolutely.”
Mike says that he’s assuming that what he was told is accurate, but he won’t tell Gene who said it, and no one is standing up. He starts telling what happened, but then he says that Joy was crying at the end of the challenge.
Joy’s mad that Mike is dragging her into this, because she wasn’t crying.
Mike is now saying that he lost by 6 minutes? Last night, it was mere seconds.
Mike tries to say that it comes down to who is the better puzzle solver - Gene or Stephanie. Stephanie has told us that she does puzzles for fun, so I can see where she might be 6 minutes faster. Six minutes isn’t that long.
Gene says he Mike gave him wrong information.
Stephanie is trying to discuss the challenge, and Mike is screaming that he doesn’t want to hear anything he has to say. Jeffrey has to step in so Mike will shut up for Steph to actually talk. She tells Mike that, head to head, yes, she could beat Gene in doing puzzles, because she’s the smart one. She also says that Joy is better at what she was doing than Mike was. She thinks that she had the best team for all three positions.

Steph also points out that there were 24 different clues, so a few seconds per clue equals minutes.
Mike: “That’s where you’re wrong, because that’s just your opinion.” An opinion, by definition, cannot be right or wrong. I’m just saying.
Mike is freaking out that Steph offered to comfort Joy for some reason. The fact that Joy didn’t think she did well doesn’t mean that she effed up. Have you never taken a test, been certain you failed, then gotten a good grade? Some of us relive that scenario frequently.
Joy explains the challenge in a way that says that she was the only one in a position to screw up. That’s awesome, because Mike had the same role as Joy.
Mike says that he was better than Joy, based on absolutely nothing. Literally nothing. Sorry - based on “speculation,” he’s better than Joy.
Gene asks Mike if he could have done better. Mike says, emphatically, that he would have been better at the task than Gene. So, why did he put Gene in that position?
This is by far the most interesting planned live feed I’ve ever seen, but Mike isn’t doing anything to make people want to vote for him.
Andrea looks pissed. DRINK! Note that Kevin is also remaining silent. Drink!
Poor Jeffrey is trying to hide from this argument within Erica’s giant bosoms. Is the secret entrance to Narnia in there?
As Mike and Gene are screaming, we hear Erica, quietly, “I want a cigarette….”
Stephanie tries to calm them down and move the feed to something less loud, obnoxious, and uninteresting, and Mike screams at her to shut up.
Gene says, again, that someone needs to tell him who told Mike that he intentionally messed up the challenge. Jeffrey, “If it was me and I forget, let me know.”
Gene goes in a circle and asks each of them if they said that. Mike is changing what he’s saying they said. Erica isn’t sure, but doesn’t think she said those words.
Stephanie is insulted that Mike is insisting that she and Joy couldn’t have just won - that someone had to do something to make him lose.

We cut briefly to Erica and Jeffrey laughing that Mike is “blaming the black guy, again,” which just makes Gene look better.

Now, the argument has gotten tedious. Andrea said it, we all saw her, and Gene should know that it was anyone else, Mike would have thrown them under the bus in a heartbeat.
Mike is screaming at everyone who tries to end the conversation so we can move on. He’s repeating himself - but he gets really mad when Gene says that. I imagine Mike wouldn’t like me much, either.
Jeffrey and Steph give up and start playing a game that I do not remember the name of, since it’s been 20 years since I last played. It involves rhyming and clapping.
Ori shows them the “Should they continue or move on?” and Gene and Mike completely ignore it while everyone else laughs and chants “move on!”
Joy and Erica move to the floor to take a nap.

The camera moves to the limbo tubes. Is someone coming up? Yes, someone is! Ori tells them that it’s been a very stressful week and she wants to help them relieve some stress and aggression.

They’re kick boxing? Not watching.
They line up in the yard. Erica, “They said ‘gentlemen’ in the back. Where do the jerks go?” I imagine in the front or the middle?

Interesting ABC shows me that 51% of the viewers take Mike’s side in that argument, then asks me to vote. What’s the point? I’ve seen the results.
They ask us to tweet our reactions to what we’re seeing. Somehow, I doubt they’ll air mine.
This becomes far more interesting when I get to watch the teacher hold Andrea down and hit her. Sure, she’s got pads, but I don’t care. Yay for hitting Andrea! I just wish he’d slipped and punched her in the face.
I refuse to vote for who is training the hardest, because I’m not paying attention, and I don’t care.

With three minutes left, we learn that the viewers have paired them up for sparring.

Stephanie and Joy
Erica v. Kevin
Andrea v. Jeffrey
Mike v. Gene. God, I want to watch Gene punch Mike in the face.
I guess they’re going two at a time. They are wearing the most giant, ridiculous boxing gloves I’ve ever seen. Seriously, they’re bigger than Joy.
They need to wrap this up. I’ve got things to do.
Ori is announcing the winners but, well, I have to go, and no one cares, so I’m done. Happy weekend!

Ok, OK. Gene beat Mike. None of the rest of it matters. Ori tells the rest of them that the feed is over, the sensei goes down the tubes, and the real fun begins.
Ori, I think “incredible events that happen on the show” is an overstatement. Or you forgot the words “-ly obnoxious” in there somewhere.
The players would like to go back outside and fight more. It’s a nice way to ease the frustration.
Gene is sitting on the red things. Joy hugs him and tells him that fighting Mike was “kinda hot.” Then she calls him stinky and walks away. Tease.

They’re talking about the match. Kevin wants people to think he’s smart, too, so he throws out big words like “xiphoid process.”
Mike sits down with Kevin and bitches that he kept getting thrown off during the argument and never got to say what he wanted to say. Was what he wanted to say, “Shut the fuck up and stay out of this?” Because he said it like 2,000 times.
Mike approaches Erica and quietly tells her that she’s the one who said that about Gene.

She has no recollection of saying that, but she was drunk. What a fucking jackass.
The look on Andrea’s face is priceless, because we all know that she’s the one who actually said it. She can’t believe Mike is saying these things.
She apologized, if she said it, but she said that she never heard Gene say anything like that , so she doesn’t know why she would have said it.
Mike makes a big production of telling Erica that he didn’t want to throw her under the bus. But he wants to make her feel indebted to him for a lie? UGH. I HATE THIS GUY.

Cut to Gene and Jeffrey in the laundry room, talking about the argument. Jeffrey said that it just made Mike look bad and Gene look good.

Gene says that it would only have helped Mike if he’d been willing to reveal (publicly) who said that - it makes it sound like he made it up. Actually, Andrea made it up.
Jeffrey drinks milk with ice. I am SO GLAD I got this sneak peak so I could learn that! (Also - ew! Gene is right. No ice in milk.)
Gene needs to shower. Watching that would be loads better than watching them do laundry.
He says that Joy told him to take it easy on Mike. He’s amused, because there was no way he was going to try to beat the crap out of an old man on TV.

Back in the kitchen, Erica is burning boiling liquid. It’s a good thing she’s cute and funny.
They take us to this bizarre camera angle outside, way above the house. Can’t see anything, can barely hear… and we’re out. I hope the weekend is restful. This stuff is exhausting.

Live Feed - Wednesday, July 18, Evening

2012-07-18T21:13:00.000-07:00

The feed starts with Kevin telling Mike that he’s in the worst possible position. They’re all in their uniforms, so I immediately think Mike’s team lost. Kevin is in red, and Mike and Andrea are in yellow. Woo-hoo!

We learn that it was some sort of puzzle challenge with clues.
Mike speculates that they might have won but for some mistake that Gene made - they lost by 20 seconds. My guess is that he may be right, and Gene knew that. Gene’s not working to send Steph to limbo.

Cut to Jeffrey and Erica, talking about how Mike said that he and Kevin won’t be friends when this is over.

I adore Erica. She’s talking about how they would chain themselves together if they could.
Mike apparently told Jeffrey that he has all the friends he needs.
Jeffrey wants Gene to agree to go to limbo, because they don’t want to give Andrea immunity from being Team Captain again next week. He’s right. They can NOT give Andrea immunity next week when they come back. Gene will easily beat Mike if he goes to limbo,
Erica won’t agree to send Gene to limbo if he won’t agree, because they have an agreement.

I miss stuff. Does it matter?
Steph and Erica are talking. She says that she was in a bad position, because she kept getting picked for teams that she didn’t want to win and, when they lost, that meant everyone turned on her.
Cut to Gene and Joy talking to Jeffrey. Joy said that she was hoping not to be on Mike’s team, because she didn’t want to help him win. Jeffrey is trying to talk Gene into volunteering for limbo, to avoid giving her a free pass. Gene thinks that Andrea would go home over Mike. I think Gene is crazy.

It sounds like Gene has no intention of volunteering for limbo, so Jeffrey mentions that he’s not sure whether he should do it.
Gene says that Jeffrey probably wouldn’t be in the bottom, anyway, so immunity doesn’t actually affect him.
Joy thinks that Steph was only Team Captain because the other side planted the seed and was trying to undermine her.
Hmmm… Gene doesn’t want to go to limbo because he threw the challenge. He didn’t explicitly say that, but… it seems likely. Jeffrey said that the viewers might also think that he threw the challenge, depending on how it’s edited. Awww, they wanted to save Steph! Good for them! Since we know Kevin was trying to make Stephanie lose, it sounds like Gene and Jeffrey tried harder.
Joy just wants Mike gone, period. Mike can’t beat Gene or Jeffrey, so maybe one of them should volunteer. Gene doesn’t think Andrea can beat Mike. I’m not so sure.
Jeffrey wanders out.

Joy is talking very quietly, so I’m missing a lot of what she says. She’s upset that Gene defends someone, but I’m not sure if she’s talking about Kevin or Mike.
Erica, Jeffrey, and Stephanie are in the bathroom, talking. Jeffrey reminds them how they wanted Steph to volunteer for limbo last week to avoid being Team Captain, and she wound up Team Captain.

Steph is a little worried about alienating the viewers by taking that risk.
Jeffrey is filled with rage at the idea of handing Andrea more immunity from being Team Captain.
Erica asks them if they’d really rather be against Kevin or Gene. Erica clearly prefers Kevin (oh, sweetie). Stephanie and Gene have become pretty close over breakfast. Jeffrey doesn’t want either of them. Erica thinks that Gene should be the next to go.
Jeffrey is getting enough resistance from Erica that he backs off his genius idea. That’s unfortunate.
They move to talking about Celine Dion. Did Steph win Celine Dion tickets? That’s random.

Back to Gene and Joy. They’re rehashing all this stuff. Someone says something, and Joy rushes off to make chicken. We watch Gene lying in bed alone for like 45 seconds. Weird.
In the kitchen, they’re cooking. Nope. Cut back to Gene and Joy.

Joy said that Kevin is full of shit. Apparently, he’s sleeping on the floor because Erica is so amazing and wonderful that he can’t keep his hands off her, and he’s trying to act like that’s why he’s sleeping on the floor.
We learn that Kevin called Gene out for not sleeping on the floor next to Joy. Gene told him that he and Joy talked about it, and she said that she would join him on the floor if he tried it. They’re lying next to each other without having sex, and it’s fine.
Hmm… Andrea walks in, and I was going to say that they weren’t snotty jackasses, insisting that she leave. But then, they were kinda snotty and told her to go away. She’s a bitch about it, though, so whatever.
Gene just said that “Jeffrey doesn’t like vagina.” That’s awesome. Apparently, Kevin was going on and on about how he would never vote against Kevin. He’s never had to. Gene doesn’t want to be on Joy’s team, because he doesn’t want her to go to limbo.
Joy is basically upset that everyone is always talking about their showmance all the time. You know what would change that? Spending some time with the rest of them instead of holing up in your room all the time.
She’s telling Gene about what a dick Kevin is to Erica, and how he keeps hurting her because she keeps letting him. She got really defensive when Joy pointed out the truth. Love hurts.

Abrupt cut to Mike and Kevin.

Kevin tells Mike that Gene completely played him. He put himself in a critical position, apparently, he was controlling the board somehow? This will probably make more sense after I see the challenge. But, essentially, Gene nailed the prelude to the challenge, got Mike to put him in charge, then fucked the challenge 100%.
Yeah, I now understand why Gene doesn’t want to go to limbo.
Kevin is encouraging Mike to call Gene out. That’s what we call making drama.
The challenge was definitely a puzzle of some sort. They’re cutting out the sound when he tries to say what happened, but it sounds like there were a couple of steps before answering a question?
This is the second time Gene has been accused of throwing a challenge (and the first time, yes, he was totally doing it).
Mike is saying now that he didn’t want Kevin on his team because he didn’t want to risk him and Kevin both going to limbo. That’s not the conversation they had yesterday. Do they know/suspect we’re watching? Or are we just watching some convenient revisionist history? Because I’m positive that, if the other team had lost, Kevin and Mike would be high-fiving their victory over Stephanie.
Mike is now giving some bizarre “Win one for the Gipper” speech.
Andrea comes in and mentions sending the #Fanswers. She wants to be careful about what they ask to avoid a false answer and not look like they’re turning on each other.
She says that Gene told the others that Mike was giving him the wrong colors. Mike says that he repeated himself once, and it didn’t cost any time? What? You lost by TWENTY SECONDS? Repeating yourself once could take 20 seconds, depending on what you said.
Kevin wants to ask us if we’re tired of Gene and Joy’s “fake showmance”.
Kevin is mad. He says Gene should be in there begging the others not to send him into limbo, not explaining how Mike effed up.
Andrea wants to ask if Gene is “sneaky” or “shady”?
Kevin makes a joke about asking if Andrea is “horrible or really horrible?” Oh! Oh! She’s really horrible!!! I bet that would get loads of votes!
This is annoying, because they keep blocking the sound.

Cut back to the kitchen - Joy, Erica, and Stephanie.

Stephanie says that she sometimes keeps her mouth shut to avoid escalating an argument, and maybe she shouldn’t. So, now she’s worried that she should get more involved.
She mentions taking Erica with her to see Celene Dion AGAIN. Did she win tickets? In Vegas?
They’re all making dinner and talking about the #Fanswers. Joy wants to ask something about how feisty she should be. I like it.

Back to Team WackADoodle.

Andrea wants to know the bad things people said about her while she was gone. It mostly involved lying.
I fucking hate Andrea. I want to punch her in her bitchy, ugly face. I cannot continue to look at her while there are words coming out of her mouth. I hope lightning strikes The Glass House.
Kevin is apparently going to shun everyone else when Mike and Andrea are in limbo. I bet he sleeps with Erica, instead. Who wants to give me odds?

Kitchen. Cooking and the Awesome ladies.

Erica is the only one not still in her costume from the challenge.
They’re talking about Cincinnati, because Erica and Steph both used to live there. Having never been to Cincinnati (maybe the airport once?), I don’t care.
They mention that Andrea is the only remaining Conservative in the House, which could give her a huge backing. Steph and Erica discuss how they could vote Republican, if they could endorse any social policies that aren’t supported solely by terrible people (OK, I may be paraphrasing a bit, but that’s the gist).

Andrea is sucking up to Erica, probably because she has few friends left. She asks for help with her #Fanswers, but Erica is worried that, if she feeds Andrea a question, no one will know.

Kevin notes that he hasn’t sent one Tweet all day. He’s only send like 25 in the last 5 weeks. Why start now?

Back in the kitchen, they’re just talking about stuff we saw in the live feed while making dinner. There’s no need to repeat it.
Mike is talking about God and destiny. Apparently, if God wanted him to stay, it wouldn’t have been a mental challenge. Couldn’t you say that, if God wanted him to stay, He would have given Mike brains? Or is “God” the name of one of the producers?

Gene actually told Mike and Kevin that he was asked to volunteer for limbo, and that he doesn’t necessarily trust the others on his side. He thinks that at least one of them really wants him to go.
Gene then realizes that putting him in makes an even stronger statement re: how much they hate Mike.
Andrea comes in, and they’re discussing the idea of Gene going to limbo to prevent Andrea from having immunity as Team Captain. Mike says that Stephanie will be Team Captain again next week, and there’s no way it’ll be Kevin.
Erica comes back. I find myself getting distracted, because I’m wondering who will be Team Captain next week if Andrea and Mike go to limbo. Hmmm… Stephanie and Joy? Jeffrey?
When did Stephanie get there? Everyone is talking about the challenge.
Mike wants an endurance challenge, but the others say it would cost too much.
Kevin tells Stephanie that he won the challenge for her. She agrees, but I have my doubts. Did Erica just say that Dean Martin was Superman?
Interesting that, after all his BS about calling Gene out for throwing the challenge, they’re all sitting here, and Kevin is silent.
Ahhhh.. Kevin wants the trip to Vegas. Gene tells Kevin that, if he is going to say single-handedly won the challenge, he needs a hashtag. Now, Kevin asks if Gene single-handedly lost the challenge, and they cut the sound. Jerks.
I tuned out briefly with all the Celine talk. I think Erica said that she and Stephanie are going to date after the show ends? What? See what I get for zoning out?

In the bathroom, Gene and Jeffrey are talking about changing the toilet paper roll. Really? I have to watch this?
Stephanie and Gene in the Friends room. Steph doesn’t want to be on the Bottom 2 again next week. Can’t blame her.

Gene suggests that next week could be Steph’s week to be in the Friends room. Joy doesn’t want to stay in there, because of the pressure, so Gene is trying to find a replacement.
In six weeks, Stephanie has never been in the Friends room or the Enemies room? That’s…. very telling, actually. Everyone else who is left has been in one or the other (or both). Oh, except maybe Mike. Mike and Gene shared the friends room once? What?

They’re all talking about the future.

Jeffrey thinks they’re going to do a reunion show in 5 years? Oh, if you really think that, I am very sad for you.

Back in the Friends room, they’re talking about Jeffrey volunteering for limbo or everyone else sending Gene.

Stephanie doesn’t like the idea of putting anyone in their group into limbo, because the viewers might say, “You have too much power! Bring Mike back!”
Gene agrees. He also said that, if he is sent to limbo after saying he didn’t want to go, all bets are off. He wouldn’t listen to anything they said, or vote with them, or anything. It would be Gene against the house.
Steph says that, at this point, it’s Andrea. She’s going. I’m wondering who Kevin and Andrea are going to vote for, but (a) it’s probably Jeffrey and (b) I don’t care.
I guess Joy was upset by something Stephanie said earlier about an issue between Erica and Joy. Steph said that she understands more where Erica is coming from. I guess Joy told… you know what? No. This is stupid. It’s all bullshit high school drama, and I’m not recapping it. Get a daisy, rip off some petals, and figure it out.
Joy goes to finish cooking, Steph decides to nap, and Gene is literally lying there, staring at the ceiling. Ok, no. He’s napping, too. Why am I watching this?

Cut to Erica and Joy in the bathroom… Nevermind.
Andrea, Kevin, Jeffrey, and Mike are talking about Gene.

Gene thinks that he’s going to be Top 2, and he’s basically said that he’ll be standing at the end with all of them. Interesting.
Erica is so drunk. Again.

The chimes sound, and everyone gathers into the living room to find out what the new rule is. Jeffrey is pissed, because he’s starving and dinner is almost ready.

Kevin says to just not do whatever the food rule is.
They’re all very concerned that they won’t be allowed to eat whatever they’re making. Ok - you get these restrictions every week around 8 pm. Eat dinner earlier! Problem solved!
Ori tells them that it’s all raw foods vs. liquid. There’s no way they can eat Joy’s chicken. They can make shakes!
Are they drinking the sauce Joy made? Ok, no. They’re tasting it. She’s putting it all away to be eaten tomorrow.
Ori sent them energy shots, maple syrup, and wine? Ew. Please don’t mix those. Andrea is making soup. It better be tomato soup.
Oh, no. They’re talking about the master cleanse. Don’t do it! There’s only one bathroom!

The feed is stuttering. It should stop doing that.
In the laundry room, Erica is talking to Jeffrey about Gene. Is she trying to talk Jeffrey into volunteering for immunity? He’d rather go in against a known opponent than possibly against someone in his alliance.

OK. Jeffrey is talking about doing it, and she’s just talking through it with him.
Erica isn’t confident that Andrea will be Team Captain if not for limbo. So, she’s worried that Jeffrey would be volunteering for no reason.
Steph comes in - Jeffrey tells her what he’s thinking. Erica supports him, but Steph thinks it’s a really big risk.
I just realized that this would be a very different strategy if we couldn’t see that he was thinking about this and they could make it look like he was voted in by the other players.
Erica is talking about how Jeffrey going into limbo is atonement? For what? Oh, for throwing the challenge to help Stephanie win.
Stephanie says that there’s a difference between “throwing” a challenge, and not really making an effort to help. With the challenge her team lost, she gave her team the same support they always give her. I love her.

Cut to Kevin and Mike, talking about Andrea.

Kevin says that he wants to marry her. Yes, he said that.
HAHA, Gene was in the Twitter booth, and he can hear you! Oops!
Erica wanders in, and Kevin tells her that it’s her turn to sleep on the floor. That might be funny with someone less drunk. Andrea brought soup to Mike and Kevin, but no one else. Niiiice, Andrea.
After hearing Kevin talk about tomato soup and “the honey hole,” I will never eat it again. Kevin asks if he can blend up a turkey sandwich or something and drink it. I vote yes. It would be liquid at that point. The others agree.
Yeah, he’s drunk. The Enemies room will be interesting tonight.

Cut to Gene, telling Jeffrey about how, while he was in the Twitter room, he could hear (and was tweeting) everything that Mike and Kevin were saying. That’s hilarious.

Jeffrey tells Gene how hilarious it is to talk game with them, because they’re not very smart.
Gene put a fake Twitter message on the screen, in case anyone walked in to check on him, then leaned back and just put his ear to the wall. This is fascinating Gene, but tell us what else they were saying.
He can’t believe they didn’t check the Twitter room before having a conversation in there.
Gene thinks this is why Holly was spending so much time in the Twitter booth. I think Gene is giving Holly way too much credit.
Apparently, you can also hear people talking on the patio, or on the couch, depending on whether one of the doors is open. Gene thinks they should stage fake conversations.

Cut to Mike telling Andrea that he thinks Gene heard Mike talking about calling him out for throwing the challenge.

They move back to talking about the live feed. Let’s lay this conversation to rest, once and for all. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/bully?s=t&ld=1032
Kevin thinks that the other team is creaming them because they’re getting lucky.
They all think they’re doing OK. Are they watching the same show I am?
Mike says that none of them have said anything bad about the others? So calling someone a bully is a compliment?
Ouch. In the same vein, Kevin says that America wants to watch funny, interesting people and Stephanie is not one of them. Mike says that she’s boring. I guess these are also compliments? Seriously - do they ever get dizzy from all this?
Andrea is smart enough to realize that there’s a reason the viewers are asking about bullies, but not smart enough to realize that the same question went to everyone, not just the three of them.
Jeffrey and Erica come out. They’ve gone with Jungle Juice, since it’s liquid only.
Blah, blah, blah, blah…. They’re back to talking about how famous they all must be. I really don’t want to have to tell them that no one is watching this show.
Oh, good! This is almost over!

Damn. I was about to say how glad I am not to have to watch this again for several days, but I forgot that today was only Wednesday. Now I’m sad again.