The Good Ol' Days

Blog Hop!

2012-01-24T13:46:00.001-07:00

I love this. You can hop from blog to blog. It's like an adventure!

What is a blog hop?
A blog hop is a linky list that is SHARED ON MULTIPLE BLOGS.

When several blogs put the same linky list code on their blog, the exact same list appears on each blog. Blog visitors can submit their entries on any blog that contains the list. The entries will appear on each blog where the list resides.

Blog readers see the same list on each blog, and can "HOP" from blog to blog seeing the same list of links to follow: BLOG HOP!

Dark Days for Brighton

2011-12-02T15:57:00.001-07:00

Brighton is afraid of everything except ducks, and recently he's developed a new fear.

Jordan and I aren't talented in a vast array of things, but come Sunday morning I turn into Gordon Ramsey, Jordan morphs into Wolfgang Puck, and together we make the best Sunday breakfast you've ever seen. Unfortunately, Brighton is afraid of our cooking. To be clear, he's not afraid of the food we make, but just the act of us cooking sends him over the edge.

At first he would cower in the bedroom shaking uncontrollably, yet was easily lured out with bribes of bacon. And really, who can't be lured by bacon? Then he wouldn't come out for any sort of deliciously cured meats. It continued to escalate to the point that he began seeking a safer sanctuary than the mere corner of the bed.

One morning we were creating the best breakfast sandwiches this side of the Mississip when we heard panicked little yips coming from the back half of the condo. Jordan went to investigate while I joked that he was probably taking refuge in the tub.

Turns out he was.

I didn't get a picture, and while I still have not learned how to use Photoshop I have rendered a likeness of this occurence:

What a little tub he found! His instincts would have served him better in a tornado rather than the great cook-off of November 2011.

Next week we closed the shower curtain so he couldn't take a kamikaze dive into the porcelain, but when a foxhole is unavailable I'll not be the one to say Brighton doesn't employ ingenuity. Apparently he thought higher ground was a better option:

Poor dearie. A bit of a drama queen too, if you ask me.

We've taken to simply shutting the bathroom door while we cook because, while I'm all for providing him the security of our bathroom amenities, he can get onto the toilet but is also scared of jumping down again. I assure you; the irony of him driven up there by fear and then stuck also by fear is not lost on me.

But while I'm on the subject of Brighton's yellow belly being where it shouldn't be, he's made a regular hobby of climbing onto the table. I suppose he sees us eating there and assumes that's the magical tablet where food appears. He's not all together wrong...

Naturally, he can't get down from there on his own either. Now, whenever I hear the stricken barks of a boy in need I know he's either stuck in the tub, on the table, or the toilet. Coincidentally, these are the same three places morbidly obese people also get stuck.

Just sayin'...

The World's Most Awkward Conversation

2011-10-26T16:13:00.000-06:00

At the Subway Drive Thru window:

Employee: "Hi, how're you?"

Bre: "Uh, good. And you?"

Employee: "Your total is $8.00"

I hand him my card, he stops in the middle of taking it from me.

Employee: "Oh, I'm good. Having a good day."

Bre: "Well, good. That's good."

"Employee: "Here's your sandwich."

Bre: "Thank you."

Employee: "And this is your drink."

Bre: "Thank you."

Employee: "Have a good night!"

Bre: "Thanks, you too."

And I prepare to pull out. Suddenly, he leans out the window.

Employee: "Looks like it's going to rain."

Bre: "Oh...really?"

Employee: "Just look at those clouds, I think it's going to rain. It's dark."

Bre: "Uh huh....Ok, bye!"

Employee: "See ya!"

And then I high-tailed it out of there.

Redemption Is MINE!

2011-10-11T15:37:00.000-06:00

Today me and a bunch of coworkers went back to the Habitat for Humanity house for more team-building and volunteer work. I was not looking forward to it after my last experience a mere three weeks ago. If you're confused and would like to not be, you can read about it by clicking...here.

Now that you're all caught up, and fully understand why I was dreading a return visit, I'll continue with my story.

I spent some time trying to think of a good reason not to go, but couldn't find anything reasonable or believable and found myself once more on the build site. I felt it was important to prove myself not completely incompetent and got right to work. I was mainly able to do so because all there was to do at first was haul wood from the living room to outside, and any idiot could do that.

Then I got my assignment, and I'm not even sure how it landed in my lap, not if I would be able to pull it off. I was told to build the windowsills and moldings. Sounds complicated? That's because it was. I almost laughed when the foreman was giving instructions 'cause I couldn't believe he really expected me to be able to accomplish such a task. It was a process with many many steps, involving four different kinds of saws and a nail gun. And they let me play with power tools, even after the last time.

I had to measure the window, adding a bit for the lip, then cut a board to fit, saw around the lip, and nail the sucker down. Then measure, cut and nail in the molding. Considering I couldn't even measure right last time this is extra impressive. I did six windows in total in the four hours that we were there.

I am freaking Bob Villa. I'm considering starting my own home improvement show, with the only topic of building window sills and molding, 'cause that's all that I can do. But I can make the crap out of them. I am now convinced I should go into construction because I fancy myself a full on carpenter.

I should have taken a picture so you could really get the full effect, but didn't want to look like a dork taking a picture of (the world's best-fashioned) window sills. Though, I suppose it's no less dorky to blog about making window sills...

It's safe to say I've redeemed myself, and can now show mysefl at Habitat for Humanity. Can, but probably won't. I think I've had my fill this year.

Saturday Night

2011-10-04T15:27:00.003-06:00

Saturday Night
9:00 PM

Jordan: I want come chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream.

Bre: Hmmm.

Jordan: So, let's go.

Bre: Really? You have to have it now?

Jordan: Yeah. Let's go to Target.

Bre: OK...Well, how about we just go through the Iceburg drive thru?

Jordan: It tastes better at Target. Why don't you want to go to Target?

Bre: Nothing would make me feel fatter than going to Target at 9:00 at night specifically for ice cream.

Jordan: Well, we could get some underwear too...

Bre: Right, so we'll just look like we need new underwear 'cause we ate so much ice cream we grew out of our current pair? Goin' to Target for ice cream and underwear looks much better.

15 minutes later we're scanning the checkout lines for a cashier that looks like she knows what it's like to get ice cream at 9:00 at night and won't judge us.

Where's The Humanity?

2011-09-20T16:42:00.003-06:00

Today me and a couple coworkers went to volunteer with Habitat for Humanity as a team building exercise. I felt pretty good about it because:

       1. I was still on the clock.
       2. I wasn't at work.
       3. I was doing charity.

I hate to admit, but that is in order with the happiest on the top. I love helping other people, but unfortunately getting a paycheck out ranks that.

Ready to jump in and help out, I then came to the realization that I have zero knowledge on how to do anything regarding building a house. I remembered the time where it took Jordan and I several hours to install an overhead fan in the living room. And when I say "Jordan and I", I really mean Jordan.

Yet, I felt confident there would be a place for me, something I could do to contribute, and possibly learn a skill. Then I found out that we were going to be putting siding on a house. (Excuse me while I blow the sawdust out of my nose...)

Basically the two jobs that were needed and available was to either climb up onto the second story of some very untrustworthy looking scaffolding to nail in the siding, or cut the wooden siding to specific sizes to fit around windows and what not.

I might have made a statement that I would rather die than climb up the rickety scaffolding, which is what probably would have happened had I attempted it. So, I was to find a job while earth-bound. Partnering up with a very nice and patient man, he suggested that I measure and mark the siding boards, and he would cut them.

Sure.

I tried to make the first measurement, while he hung over my shoulder most apprehensively. The measurement was 44 1/8. When I pointed at a hash mark asked if that was right it must not have been because he suggested that he measure, and I cut.

Sure.

I wanted to giggle that he was actually letting me operate a power saw, but thought that might not instill any more faith in my competency. He instructed me on how to use the saw, and kept saying crazy things like, "Get your fingers away from the blade!". I made my first shaky cut, then stopped, worried that I was doing it wrong. He very patiently reiterated his instructions, and I was on my way. I cut the crap out of that board. But, I don't think I cut it the right length 'cause they sent it back to us saying it was too long. Better too long than too short, I said confidently and we he remeasured. I made another cut- less shaky, more straight and was so proud. But then I heard someone from the scaffolding say, "This board is cut crappy." I offered to let my partner give it a go, but he insisted I try again. Bless his heart. When it came back again still just a hair too short, I told the guy to go ahead and shave the excess off, saying I had faith that this board would be right if he were to cut it. He graciously suggested that he could measure and cut if I would be so kind as to take the cut boards and toss them up to the guys on the scaffolding.

Sure.

I was doing ok with the long pieces that I could just hold up vertically and the scaffolding guys could reach down and grab, but then it took me six tries to toss the smaller boards high enough and accurately enough so the guy on the scaffolding could catch it, without dying at least.

After ~~I messed up every job~~ that I figured it was time for a lengthy water break and to get reacquainted with my kindle. No one was complaining, that was for sure. It's actually reaffirming that yes, I belong at a desk 'cause there is no way I would be able to hack it in construction.

I'm excited that my boss signed us up to go back in a couple weeks.

Because I have nothing better to do but to ramble on and on and on

2011-09-16T15:42:00.003-06:00

Well, folks it's Friday, and pay day to boot. That being said I have about an hour left in the work day and heaven knows I'm desperately trying find ways to fill my time. Preferably things that don't involve working, mostly 'cause I have completely run out of work to do, and am scratching the bottom of the barrel to stay busy.

Naturally, this post will have no point, and make very little sense.

Today I went home on my lunch break. Fridays are Jordan's day off, so I usually try to pop on in and have lunch with him, adorable I know. He called and asked if I was on my way, to which I assured him I was. Then he said, "K, don't freak out." Which are the last words that should be used when trying to keep a person from freaking out. Those words were followed with other words like, "There's something wrong with Bella," and, "allergic reaction," and ended with, "her eyes are swollen."

Luckily I was almost home, and told him I would see him in a minute. Bella was waiting for me at the door, and she looked really pathetic. I'll share, how 'bout that?

Her right eye (the left on the picture) was red and swollen on the upper lid, while the other eye was swollen on the lower lid, and sagging all way down her cheek, exposing the inside of her eye lid. Which, by the way, I had no desire to see. She was shaking uncontrollably and had puked half a dozen times before I got there.

We called and made a vet appt, and I was ready to call work and tell them that I was not coming back in. Then right before I could, and 15 minutes before her appointment, the swelling started to go down, and her eyes started to look half way normal. Though normal is her case could still be defined as buggy. At least she doesn't look like her transformation to zombie is 25% complete.

The bad news is I still have 50 minutes left to work, and am no more less bored than I was at the beginning of this post.

In other news, I think I sometimes forget to blink...

Thank you, Insomnia

2011-08-29T14:19:00.001-06:00

Last night's bout of insomnia brought forth great treasures. I finally gave up trying to sleep and got out of bed and did the dishes. Naturally you're thinking, why weren't they done before you went to bed anyway? I would tell you that Sundays are incredibly lazy days, as God intended. He even took a rest on that day. I'd probably also tell you mind your own business.

Brighton even came to keep me company, but really he probably thought his chances of getting a treat were better if he spent time with the person in the kitchen, rather than the one that was in bed. He was right; for his loyalty I gave him a treat of dried yams. If I have to be on a diet then so does he. I emptied the dishwasher, filled it again and wiped the kitchen counters down to an impressive sheen and made Jell-O with mandarin oranges. 'Cause... well, it's yummy and it would provide me with a snack on the morrow. No matter how old I get I still feel like I need an after-school snack.

Then I took enough Melatonin to make a cow pass out and went back to bed. . . And figured out how to navigate should I be lost in the wilderness without the use of stars, or mossy tree trunks. I can't take full credit since the idea was planted in my head when Jordan and I were watching a movie earlier about a group of men that escaped a POW work camp during WWII and walked from Siberia to India. Which would be like walking from the US west coast to the east coast and back again. They kept sticking a pine cone in the dirt, standing over it with one foot on either side. The movie didn't explain what they were doing, but I had to assume they were navigating.

Because I was lying in bed not sleeping I had time to work out what they were doing. The sun rises in the East, and sets in the West, so in the morning wherever the sun is would be East. Since they were going South and wanted to make sure they weren't meandering in a south-east or south-west direction they stuck a pine cone in the dirt and the shadow stretching behind it would be West. Sticking a foot on either side would represent North and South, the left foot North and the right foot south, if you're facing East that is.

Because I want to ensure you also don't get lost in the wilderness, I drew you a handy diagram. I'm no artist though, so the perspective leaves a lot to be desired, this I realize.

So ~~when~~ if you get lost in the middle of nowhere you can think back to my expert rendering and will be thanking my insomnia. I, however, will be thanking my insomnia a lot sooner when I get off work and have Jell-O waiting for me in the fridge.

How To Survive an Alien Attack

2011-08-18T10:36:00.002-06:00

Recently I have had four very vivid dreams about aliens attacking us. One was scary, the second a coincidence and after the third I was convinced that these dreams were sent to me directly from the aliens themselves. I believe they are testing out their methods of invasion on the human subconscious, to see how we might react when they invade.

Of course, their plan has backfired as now I know all their secrets and am fully prepared for an attack. Because I care deeply about the human race, and its subsequent survival, I will share with you how to survive when the aliens come.

When you see the giant mother ship your first intinct is to either stop and stare, or freak out. Neither of these will help you; they will send out their fighter jets lickity split, and those buggers are fast ya'll. So gather your loved ones and make it to a safe place quickly. You're going to want to get home, and I can't blame you 'cause that was what I wanted as well. But that's what they want you to do. They line their fighter jets up and down the streets and fire directly into the houses, knowing that's where people seek cover in. This isn't so bad because they haven't figured out bombs yet, they just shoot large egg-shaped metal chunks, and are essentially punching holes into houses. To outsmart them all you have to do is lay in your backyard, out in the open. They don't expect that, and don't look for you there. If you can build an underground bunker, all the better.

If you don't have a backyard and live in condos or apartments then you're going to have a much different experience. They let groups of aliens off the ship to go through the apartments and clear them out manually. You're probably thinking this sounds much worse, but while scary as all get out, you have a pretty good shot at coming through, and I'll tell you why. They don't use firearms, they use swords. They also do not fully understand what humans are capable of and are just as scared of us. That is what's going to save you; they hesitate before attacking and very nervous about it. Just make your move quickly, attack first and you'll be A-OK 'cause they die pretty easily. I recommend keeping your own sword by the door of your house to be safe and prepared.

While lacking firearms and missiles, they do employ fireballs. So have a lot of rootbeer on hand 'cause I learned from one dream that in a pinch rootbeer works great to put out fires, and you can shake it up so when opened the pressurized rootbeer will shoot up to get the higher flames you can't reach.

And the last point to remember is not to hate the individual alien, they are just following orders, and some of them are good chaps. While they don't successfully take over Earth because we have the best military and were simply no match, some aliens stay behind to live amongst the humans 'cause we are that awesome.

I hope my tutorial has helped, and in the future you're able to survive the alien onslaught.

This guy already has a head start in defeating the alien race. Way to go, comrade!

ZOO!

2011-08-08T13:58:00.000-06:00

Sweet sassy molassy! I haven't posted in a while, and I have a legitimate and valid excuse for this.

It's called laziness and procrastination.

A couple weeks ago my family and I, which includes my parents, siblings, and their kids, went to the zoo. We had a grand ol' time. I have been to the zoo a bunch, and for some reason it never gets old to me.

After the first exhibit I sat down on a bench waiting for the rest of the family as they gathered the kids up to move on. A guy came out of the building I was sitting in front of and I thought to myself, "That guy looks like David Boreanaz! Wait, that is David Boreanaz!"

I watched him walk away before commencing my freak out. I ran up to my sister and latched onto her arm and tried to use my best inside voice so David couldn't hear me talking about him, and told my sister that David Boreanaz was right over there. I told my mom and she started to say how cute he is, but then noticed my dad standing right there and instead discreetly waggled her eyebrows at me. Nice.

We pretty much followed behind him as we moved from exhibit to exhibit, and I tried not to stare. I didn't want to go bug him since he was trying to have a day off with his family. But, pictures were discreetly taken.

Here's a delightful little tidbit, in Bones his character is known for wearing funny socks all the time. And at the zoo he was wearing crazy stripey ones. Oh, David, you're so silly.

What a California Dreamboat.

Then we met up with my friend, Maggie, who is a zookeeper and she gave us the VIP treatment and brought out animals for us to see and pet.

At the end of the day my mom asked the little kids what their favorite part of the day was, and they said Maggie bringing out the animals. If you asked us big kids, we would say that our favorite part was Maggie telling the kids not in our group that had surrounded us and the animals to go away. David Boreanaz has nothing on us.

Saucy Little Minx

2011-07-18T11:06:00.003-06:00

Someone obviously has daddy issues.

The Impasse

2011-07-15T14:06:00.001-06:00

The other day I came home from work to find that one of the dogs had peed on the bed. This is not usual for them, they are pretty well potty trained and I couldn’t figure out why in the world they would pee right smack dab in the middle of the bed when they knew better. Then Jordan realized what happened...

The cats love to trap the puppies. These kitties of ours know that the dogs prefer not to cross the cats’ path if they can help it, and so will lie strategically where they can cut the dogs off from the rest of the house. For example, a casual sprawl in a doorway won’t let the pup out of the room without engaging the cat first, and apparently the dogs aren’t willing/able/courageous enough to do that. A particular favorite game is to hide under the bed next to the area where the pups climb onto the bed, and slash out a paw at the most opportune moment. We think that the cats imprisoned Bella on the bed until her teeny tiny bladder could no longer hold out.

Bless her miniature heart.

I have photographic evidence of Kea's most favorite game...

That One Time I Beat the System

2011-06-28T16:44:00.000-06:00

For some odd reason I was thinking about when I used to live in Washington. I thought about how I became a major hoarder. Not the kind of hoarder that I would earn me a spot on TLC, but I became a money hoarder. It was remarkable (for me, at least) how much I had in savings.

For those of you who don't know the story (I'll try to be quick about it), when I was 19 me and two friends decided we were going to live outside of Utah in the name of adventure and experiencing life outside of happy valley. Two weeks later I packed whatever I could fit into my little blue Dodge Neon, and with 200 bucks in my back pocket drove to Washington.

I knew going into it that it was only temporary, I would be coming home once my apartment contract was up in six months. Always in the back of my mind was the thought that I would be going home eventually, and consequently a deep paranoia set in that I wouldn't have enough money to make it home.

So, I became a money hoarder. I took frugal to extremes, counting each cent, and wary of spending anything I saved as if my life depended on it. 'Cause I thought it did.

My friend was working at Blockbuster, and they came out with a new program to buy used DVDs, and we hatched a glorious plan. It was a many stepped plan, so I hope I can explain this so it makes sense.

1. We went to the dollar store, where I bought 12 DVDs for $12.

2. Next, we went to Blockbuster, and sold our DVDs. Because Blockbuster had a guarantee that they would not buy a DVD for less than $5 I got $5-$10 for each of my dollar store DVDs.

3. Blockbuster only gave store credit, so I used the store credit to get the most expensive thing they sold that was brand new, which was a DVD box set of the TV show 24 (in its hey day they were expensive). I also had store credit left.

4.Next, I took my brand new box set to Walmart, who was selling it for more than Blockbuster was, and returned it for a hefty gift card. Figuratively hefty, the card actually weighed the same regardless of the amount on the card.

5. Lastly, I bought the box set I was really pining for but was too cheap to buy myself, which was Alias, with Jennifer Gardner. I also got a CD and had money left over on my gift card.

In those days I knew my way around the Walmart return policy like the back of my hand, and knew how to work the system to get what I wanted. Though, nothing quite as elaborate at that. I could liken watching that DVD to the end of Ocean's 11, where they are all watching the Bellagio Fountain.

If Ducks Try To Take Over The World, I Have The Secret Weapon

2011-06-21T11:34:00.003-06:00

Sunday night/Father's Day, Jordan and I went over to his dad's house to watch some home videos of Jordan as a wee young thing. BTW, Jordan in yellow Care Bear pajamas bouncing on the bed, priceless.

We brought the dogs along, for funsies. After we were finished enjoying Jordan's youth, we decided to see what would happen if we put the dogs in the backyard with their two pet ducks.

Brighton is afraid of everything, and I have to admit I was curious how he would react to ducks. I was sure that the ducks would attack Brighton while he cowers in fear.

Turns out the only thing Brighton is not afraid of, are ducks. He tore across that yard like a feral animal I have never seen before and chased those ducks up and down the yard. Those poor ducks were beside themselves with fear. They ran into anything in their path, stumbling like drunken babies, while desperately attempting to flee that Boy.

Turns out, not all ducks fly. Some just...fall. One was so afraid he fell/suicide jumped into the window well. It was quite the thunk as he landed. Perhaps he thought this was the best place for him to ride out the terror. I wish I had taken a picture, but because I didn't, yet wanted you to get the full imagery, I used my limited photo editing skills to provide you a likeness of this event. Only pretend the window well is twice as deep, and dark as the devil's insides. It was nighttime, you see.

I went back inside to take the pups in, and break the news that we may or may not have caused their duck to leap blindly into a deep dark window well. I came back out and the second duck was tittering pathetically and I went to give it some comfort and either I scared it, or Brighton charging back out of the house scared it, but the second one flung itself into a second window well.

To reiterate: two ducks, two window wells.

Jordan played the role our genders dictated and was the one to climb down there (seriously, they were deep) and lifted the ducks out. I was so glad he was the man and I could be the pansy woman fretting on the sidelines, window wells are prime breeding grounds for spiders. I didn't tell Jordan this until after he got out.

The ducks have been saved and are no more worse for the wear, though it's difficult to tell if we caused serious brain damage as ducks are already pretty brainless.

I also came out of this confident that should ducks decide to wage war against humans I would be able to stand behind my brave duck-terrorizer of a dog.

Just A Theory

2011-06-15T15:26:00.002-06:00

Headaches are basically swelling in the brain causing pressure against your skull, right? And what do you do when any part of your body swells? You put ice on it to bring the swelling down, yes? That being the case, wouldn't the perfect solution to a headache be a big fat brain freeze?

So, if you get a headache, eat a sh*t-load of ice cream!

You're welcome, I just cured your headache, and given you a reason to buy a big 'ol carton of your favorite ice cream in the name of medicine.

Note: I am not doctor, though I feel like all it really takes is a skill with Google. I did no research on the matter, and have little desire to. Just like I'm uninterested in hearing if I'm wrong, 'cause you can bet I'm going to be using my next headache as an excuse to enjoy some delicious frozen delights.

If You Could Change One Thing

2011-06-08T09:32:00.004-06:00

What really bothers me is when a girl is posed with the question, "If you could change one thing about your significant other, what would it be?" and the dumb girl says "Absolutely nothing, I love him just the way he is." And she probably finishes off with an annoying overly feminine giggle.

Really? Really? Reeeeeeeeeaaallllllly?

There isn't a single thing you would change about your guy? You wouldn't change him biologically so that he is no longer able to fart? You wouldn't make him suddenly have a hankering for doing the dishes? You wouldn't change his aversion to vacuuming and his love of ball-itching?

I know exactly what I would change about Jordan. I pray that I come across a genie so that I may have three wishes, and all three wishes would be used on this one thing to make sure it works. I love that man and I can deal with any vices or shortcomings, save one. It all comes down to three little words, and my dearest hope that I never have to hear them again.

"Are you for real?"

I'm no mathematician, but I realize that's four words and not three. I said three words because statistically they average to three anyway, as they have been melded and evolved to variations including but not limited to, "Ya'll fer real?", "Ya fer real?" and my least favorite and completely rushed, "Ya fer ra?"

Those words have lost all meaning to me. I can no longer imagine how they might have been used in a normal setting. Jordan responds to nearly everything I say with those words.

"Do you want lasagna for dinner?" "You for real?"

"Don't leave your snot rags lying around, the dogs eat them and shred them up." "Ya'll fer rall?"

"Do you wanna go see a movie?" "Youffer real?"

I feel a little bit like The Incredible Hulk because every time he says it my blood pressure gets higher and higher until Hulk SMASH! I let out all the frustration and take the phrase literally.

"YES, I am "for real", I for really want to go to the movies. When I said I wanted to go to the movies I wasn't just tricking you, I was for real"!

To which he responds, "Are you for real with that?"

Be honest peeps, what would you really change about your snookums?

Enlarged

2011-06-02T10:17:00.001-06:00

I love when a company has to put a little note on their product's packaging to inform us that the photo has been enlarged.

'Cause you know some mofo out there cracked open this bag of cough drops and was pissed to find that it does not contain cough drops the size of a small rodent.

The First Time I Was Pulled Over

2011-06-01T09:19:00.002-06:00

My dad was in charge of teaching all six of us kids to drive, and once we had our learner's permit he would take us to a church parking lot to practice before letting us go out on the road.  We had been to the parking lot several times, and I was getting frustrated that he wouldn't let me take it out on the road to do some real people driving. He wouldn't even let me drive the car home.

Meanwhile, my older brother, Sbrandon, was letting me drive his truck all over the place whenever I went somewhere with him. One time he said I could drive his truck only if I promised to not use the brake. You know, for funsies. We were up in the foothills hiking, and true to my word we tore down the steep hill to our neighborhood. I still wonder how we survived that.

Back to the story...

I could hardly believe my ears when my dad told me to go ahead and make a right out of the parking lot. The neighborhood around this particular church was very suburban and quiet with little traffic, unless you count the kiddies on bikes. Which is probably why he chose the area.

I was ecstatic, I was so cool, I was cruising 'round the hood, lookin' fly, rollin' hot 'cause I am driving!  Then I saw lights flashing behind me. These particular lights were red and blue.

My heart stopped, my entire body went numb and all coherent thought was lost as a jumble of thoughts ran through my head.

My first time legally driving and I was getting pulled over!
My siblings are never going to let me live this down.
What if this means I can't get my license?
Will they take my learner's permit away?
I wasn't even speeding, what did I do wrong?
What do I do? Is there a special procedure for pulling over? What if I pull over wrong, then what?!
Why are there so many kids on bikes? They are clustering around my car!

My dad very calmly talked me through my panic and instructed me to pull over, put it in park and roll my window down. I managed to do so, but was a nervous wreck.

I could hear him approaching, and could see out of the corner of my eye that he was approaching, but was scared to make eye contact with the long arm of the law. I finally turned to look at the officer as he came up to my window. . .

It was my brother.

My oldest brother, Jared, is a Police Officer for San Juan County and was up for something or other, probably training. He got to my parents' house while we were out driving and apparently couldn't resist finding us, and because my dad took us all to the same spot to practice Jared knew exactly where to look.

The posse of little kids riding their bikes got a good show though.  They saw a girl getting pulled over, then said girl call the officer a jerk and lean out the window to hit the officer.

If you're wondering, the kind officer let me keep my learner's permit.

Home Sweet Home

2011-05-31T09:27:00.000-06:00

Our last day in New York was pretty hectic. Our only objective was getting to the airport and getting home. I was dreading the trip to the airport after the trip from the airport to our hotel was so hellish. Ross, master of the subway system, assured us that he had found a better way to the airport, which was quite the relief. Not blaming him in the slightest, but it was still 5 different trains and a buttload of stairs. I was so excited to get to the airport so I could just get on the plane and not move for the next five hours.

Getting to the airport took longer than we anticipated, and when we got to the counter to check our bag in they told us that we were too late checking in. The lady helping us was nice and said she was going to see what she could do for us but said, "I don't want to give you false hope, you don't have a prayer." She took off with Jordan's ID and boarding pass in search of a supervisor. This was stressful 'cause we didn't know what would happen if we didn't make the flight, if we would be able to get the next flight and who knows when the next flight would be. Our flight was boarding, and every minute she was gone I could feel our window closing. She came back and said that she had to get a higher up supervisor, and eventually her supervisor came back saying they will be able to get the bag, and us, on the plane. But they left Jordan's ID elsewhere and had to go track that down.

We hurried through security and to the gate, only to find that the flight was delayed. I was never so happy to for a flight to be delayed.

Then the flight got delayed several more times due to a mechanical problem they were trying to fix. It was supposed to leave at 11:20, and by 1:30 they simply cancelled the flight. We got in line to get onto another flight, and the person that was helping us apparently knew nothing about the original flight being cancelled. Once she figured out the situation she was able to help us get on a later flight, making sure that our bag would go with, but the flight didn't leave until 7:00 pm. We met up with my sister and her husband and they said they were getting on a flight that left at 2:30. Which was interesting that we weren't put on that flight in the first place. So, we got our tickets changed to that earlier flight, making sure she put our bag on that flight and not the first two. I had a stack of tickets that were piling up.

Then an announcement was made over the PA system that they were going to get a whole new plane, and the original flight was uncancelled. So, we had to get our tickets and bag changed right back over to that flight. By this point I had said goodbye to everything in our suitcase 'cause I was sure there was no way it was going to survive all the changes and make it on the right plane. Our new flight was delayed a little bit, which at this point was just par for the course. I didn't let myself believe I was getting on that plane until I was actually in my seat.

When we pulled out I wanted to cheer. I guess that only happens in the movies. That cheer would have been premature though since we spent an hour sitting on the tarmac taxiing along and waiting for our turn on the runway. When it was finally our turn I got a look at the line behind us and there were 8 planes behind us waiting for their turn. I know there were 8 because the guy sitting directly behind me was narrating everything out the window to the person who was sitting next to him. That person was also asleep.

"I see the Delta building, and a person standing on the runway, I see 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 birds behind us. I see the yellow lines on the pavement..." And so forth until we took off and he began to describe the different kinds of clouds he was seeing. No joke.

When we landed I got to hear, "I see the Great Salt Lake, and big mountains topped with salt. Or it's snow or salt, I don't know which."

Ah, but I was so happy to see those salt-covered mountains. More importantly I was overjoyed to see that our bag made it to Utah with us. It had just as hellish an ordeal getting on the plane as we did.

I love going on trips, and I love coming home. Being in crazy different places really makes me appreciate home.

Now, to figure out where I'm going with the flight vouchers Delta gave us for cancelling our flight that ended up being uncancelled...

My Butt & The Bum That Handed It To Me

2011-05-21T07:50:00.002-06:00

I got my butt handed to me by a homeless man.

After spending some time at FAO Schwartz we set off to find a bite to eat before we needed to head to Lion King. We found a delightful little deli just up the street and popped in there for lunch. If you're curious, and I know you are, I got a grilled chicken sammich with avocado. It made my heart sing.

I was out front by myself waiting for the rest of my peoples as they were buying cookies for the road. As I was standing there a homeless man approached me.

"Do you have any change?"

"I don't, I'm sorry." Which was very true.

"Well, you have a credit card, you can go in there and buy me a sandwich." This wasn't even said as a request, it was like it was the obvious solution to the problem of me not having change.

"I'm sorry?" I asked because I both couldn't believe I'd heard right, and because I could barely understand him through his thick mumbly accent.

"You can take your credit card, and go buy me a sandwich."

"I don't think I want to do that, I'm sorry sir."

"But, I'm hungry."

"I'm sorry, sir." Was all I had to say. I began to understand that he wasn't going to leave me alone, and my cavalry wasn't coming out of the deli anytime soon.

"So, where you come from you just let people go hungry?"

I have to admit at this point I was getting pretty defensive and annoyed. "Where I come from, people just have jobs."

"But, what am I supposed to do?"

"You should probably just get a job."

"But what am I supposed to do if people won't hire me?" I wanted to ask how this was my fault, but just shrugged and apologized again.

At this point a swanky dressed man walked up to the deli. The homeless man turned his attention to the newcomer, and asked him to buy him a sandwich. The man shook his head and went into the deli.

The homeless man turned back to me and said, "Rich guy won't buy me a sandwich, what's wrong with you?!"

Does that make sense to anyone else? I just rolled my eyes, "I'm not rich."

Finally as Jordan came out of the deli the man sauntered off to accost more people. Jordan handed me a cookie and as we walked down the street we passed the guy, who was now harassing another woman. I looked at him and pointedly bit into my cookie.

Maybe I am heartless, but I have a hard time giving handouts to people that don't help themselves. I'm more apt to give change to street performers rather than a guy that gives me the 3rd degree about buying him a sandwich. Jordan is a lot kinder and gave his change to anyone that asked, if he had it. If fact, we were at Coldstone and there was a guy that was begging off the line and Jordan told him he didn't have any change, but would give him his change once he paid.

What do you think? Would you have bought the guy a sandwich?

The City That Never Sleeps

2011-05-20T10:15:00.002-06:00

I'm sure you're sick of hearing about my trip. But, I'm just not finished. Semi-colon, parenthesis.

Lion King
Wow, what a show. I have wanted to see this since it first came out, and with seeing a Broadway show on my Bucket List, it was an easy decision to see Lion King.

People have told me how amazing the animals and costumes are, and I've seen previews of them, but seeing it in person absolutely makes a difference. I enjoyed every minute of this, and definitely recommend it.

What I don't recommend is a matinee. It was full of kids, and there was a group of teenagers behind me that were obnoxious. They sang along, kicked my chair, talked loudly and just were teenagers. We encountered a lot of teenage groups seeing sights and it made me think back to myself as a teenager and I acted the exact same way.

Central Park
I absolutely loved Central Park. In a sea of cement, crowds and buildings the park was like heaven. We ended up walking from one side of the park to the other to get to the Museum of Natural History, then through it again, taking a different route, to get back. So we spent a lot of time in the park. I really liked sitting on a bench and just people watching.

There were so many horse drawn carriages. I would have loved to have taken one, but they were really expensive. One guy was so pushy trying to sell us on it that he followed us half a block and kept trying to get us to buy a tour even after we said, "There's no way you can change our minds." I finally had to say that they only way I would go was if he charged us $20, which made him laugh and then he left us alone. That and we walked faster.

There were a ton of statues throughout the park.

Bethesda Fountain

Jordan's French Stuart impression, it's like they're twins. He must have been looking into the sunlight.

Next I'm going to tell a jovial tale of the altercation between myself and a homeless man.

The Big Apple

2011-05-19T14:59:00.002-06:00

Golly, I don't eve know where to begin. I'm just going to list what all we did and my general impression. By the way, my camera was acting funny, and I'm not a big picture taker in the first place, so all the pictures are from my phone and aren't the best quality. Except, when it looks like the Statue of Liberty is tiny, that's because she is.

Times Square
Absolutely amazing, and crazy all at once. We went there several times since a lot of the places we wanted to see, or shop at were there, but I never got a picture, and I'm bummed about that. We went there the very first night after we dropped our crap off at the hotel. When we came out of the subway station I was really disoriented because it was about 9:00 pm, but it looked like it was the middle of the day because of all the lights. No joke, I wouldn't joke about bright lights. It reminded me a lot of the Vegas strip, but on crack. Which was fitting, since I'm sure there were a lot of people there on crack.

Madame Tussades
Total tourist trap, and completely overpriced. But, it was part of the New York Pass we bought, so it didn't cost anything, so we figured why not? The level of detail was incredible. When I was face to face with the figures they are so realistic that I felt bad for staring, and was really afraid that they were going to come alive, or that the actual celebrity was there playing a joke on everyone. I had to look at their hands before I would get close because their hands did look fake. Jordan was trying to get a picture of me with Brad Pitt but I couldn't approach him 'cause his hands were behind his back and I was 87% sure it was the real deal. Again, no pictures 'cause that's when my camera went funky, and not the good kind of funky. There's a good kind of funky?

Statue of Liberty

Boat ride to Liberty Island

Britney had been there before and said that it was smaller than she expected, so in my head I was picturing it smaller than what I thought it would be, but I was still surprised at how small it actually was. I felt like big joke had been played on me. In movies, TV shows and pictures they make it look humongous, but when I saw it I thought "Aw look at the cute little statue!" rather than thinking it was impressive. Another tourist heard me say I was surprised it was so small and she got really defensive, for some reason. Maybe I had just built it up in my mind, and sure when it was first erected it was a vision. It was still really cool to see though.

From Liberty Island, in front of the pedestal

Skyline from Liberty Island

Ground Zero

We went to Ground Zero right after the Statue of Liberty and I was floored when I walked out of the subway and saw the new World Trade Center building before me. I didn't know that they had started building it yet, and it was pretty inspirational to see The Land of the Brave plugging forward.

It should be a pretty impressive building when it is finished. Though it may not be appropriate for me to point out that having it so reflective creates an illusion, and the last thing we need is to make the building difficult to see from the air...

Bodies
I have been interested in seeing Bodies for a while, but I wasn't sure how I would react; If I'd get queasy or find it interesting. Turns out it was pretty interesting. For those of you who haven't heard of it, Bodies is an exhibition that displays actual human bodies. When a person dies and is donated all of the bodily fluids are removed and replaced with plastic, then molded and displayed.

There are a couple different kinds of exhibitions, one is medically informational and the other is more artistic. I would have liked to see the artistic one, and while this was informational I still found it to be pretty artistic. One thing I liked was they show the lungs of a healthy person and a smoker, then left a bin for you to throw your cigarettes in. The bin had a healthy (or unhealthy, if you will) collection of cigarette packs, some even unopened. The thing that saddened me was I couldn't help but look at each of these people and wonder what their story was, how they had lived their life, and how they had died. I found out that these people were all unclaimed people from Asia. I was sad to hear that.

China Town
We went to China Town and I have to admit that I was really testy at that point. We had done a lot of walking and my feet were exceptionally sore. When we got off the subway we were disoriented and lost, and spent some time just walking around trying to find a specific section of the town. The more we walked the more my feet hurt, and the more my feet hurt the angrier I got. Then, the clouds opened and before me was a little basement spa. I like to think God wanted me to relax. Me and Britney ducked in, ditched the guys and got a foot massage.

Then I was happy. Over the moon in fact. I didn't know if I was happier to be lying down, or having my feet rubbed. The only downside was when Jordan came back to meet us after the massage we were waiting for Britney to use the bathroom Jordan mentioned he was thirsty. I thought I was being helpful when I bounced up on my new feet and filled up a paper cup from a water jug in the spa. Being thirsty myself I down the first glass, refilled it for Jordan and gave it to him. He looked into it and said "Nice, that's real nice." and handed it back. I thought that was pretty rude, I got him a cup of water and he responds that way? Well fine, I'll have the water then. I drained half the cup and looked down into it. Then a piece of my soul died. There were floaties. Really bad floaties. Orange floaties that looked like brine shrimp. So, if I get a disease or parasite, I know it was from the water jug in China Town. Not sure what I was thinking trusting that water in the first place.

Little Italy
To complete the cliché' of getting a massage in China Town, we decided we wanted pasta in Little Italy. We found a little restaurant that had a cute little backyard veranda, and ate there. Jordan got Fettuccini Alfredo and I got Lasagna. Half way through we decided we liked the other's dish better than our own and switched. Mostly, it was just nice to relax with my husband, sister and bro-in-law and enjoy the evening. Afterwards we got some gelato from a street vendor, and that confirmed my suspicion that God wanted me to relax.

Rockefeller: Jimmy Fallon & Top of the Rock
Being a huge couch potato I was excited to go to 30 Rock because I love a lot of NBC's line up. We went with the intention of taking an NBC Studio tour. While perusing the NBC store an employee approached Jordan and I and asked if we were fans of Jimmy Fallon. I answered with a resounding yes. He then invited us to Jimmy Fallon's monologue rehearsal, where he practices the jokes in his opening monologue for Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. If that already wasn't self-explanatory. He tries the jokes out on a small audience, and based on our laughs decides which ones to use in the show that night. It's safe to say we were pivotal in shaping late night television.

So, we got to go into the studio and sit right up front. Just us, Jimmy, his writers and a few other inconsequential audience members. It was neat to see Jimmy Fallon all casual and unscripted...Except for that time he read from the script. I gave my best guffaws as an oral wink to tell Jimmy he was A-OK to use that joke and then he invited us over for dinner.

Wait, I think that last part was only in my mind. We're still best friends though, whether he knows it or not. It was a pretty cool experience, and even more so since it was such a small audience.

Ground view of the 30 Rockefeller building

That night we went to the top of Rockefeller. We went at dusk, and then watched all the lights come on in the city. What an amazing view it was, and right across from the Empire State Building. We didn't go to the top of the Empire state building if you're wondering, 'cause it's the same basic view from both buildings, and we would rather be at the top of the Rock looking at the Empire State Building, than looking at the Rock from the ESB. Yes, I abbreviated 'cause I'm that lazy.

Empire state building from the top of the Rock.

Empire State Building from the street

American Museum of Natural History

I have to admit that I was excited to see this because of The Night of the Museum. We decided that the movie took a lot of liberties because it looks nothing like the movie, and didn't have any of the same exhibits save one. It was still cool though, and huge. They had a lot of stuffed animal exhibits, and I couldn't help but think, why would I want to see dead animals when I could go to a zoo and see them alive?

Velociraptor! With a Brontosaurus in the background.

Easter Island statue. A.K.A. Dum Dum.

Yikes, sorry again for the length, but what can ya do?

New York

2011-05-18T11:22:00.001-06:00

I'm back from New York and I have been putting off writing about my trip 'cause to write about seven days of intense awesomeness is a pretty daunting task and I didn't know how to go about it. So, I'm just going to talk about various aspects of the trip, and if I get bored I'll save the rest for another post. Sound good?
Subways
Because the cheapest mode of transportation is the subway we each got a week pass and used the subways to get around everywhere we went. My sis and her husband had been to New York before and knew what they were doing, but Jordan and I got a rude awakening. We got off the plane and had to take the subway to our hotel which didn't strike me as a big deal. What I didn't realize was that we would need to train hop, and lugging our luggage (pun intended) through the subways was sucky to an absurd degree. I also didn't know there were different levels of subways and we would get off a train and go down a level to a different train, then at one point had to climb about three flights of stairs, again all while carrying heavy suitcases and trying to keep up with my brother-in-law Ross, who is long-legged and a speed walker. I believe we took five trains to get to our final destination.

Then there is the smell and general rankness of the subway. Everything is unbelievably dirty and I was confident I was going to contract some sort of rare disease if I touched anything. Me and antibacterial hand sanitizer became well acquainted and when I used it I just covered my arms for good measure. The smell was like 300 people lined up and peed onto the subway track. And they were all dehydrated. The thing that really amazed me was by the last day I hardly noticed the smell. I was terrified that I had the capability to acclimate to such a raunchy smell.

The people of course are another matter entirely. Every person on the subway had soulless eyes. Like they were all sitting there trying to forget who they were. Staring off into nothing and trying not make eye contact with anyone. I thought it was funny how similar everyone was, while being so different. The majority of people had headphones in, and when they ate they ate out of paper bags. Literally out of the bag, they would stick their face in the bag to take a bite, rather than pull whatever they were eating out. Weird stuff.

Eats & Treats
We ate at some pretty amazing restaurants. To me Hard Rock Cafe is a given, and we ended up going there twice. We went to Planet Hollywood, which isn't as much of a whoop de doo, but we went the first night and none of us had eaten anything since breakfast and we were starving. Any food at that point would have been amazing.

Some of the best food was actually from the street vendors. The hot dogs were so amazing that I dreamed about them that night. One time Jordan was getting a hot dog for both of us and the guy asked if we wanted small or large. Jordan said large figuring it would be a bigger hot dog, but the guy put two dogs in one bun. Interesting. There were ice cream vendors everywhere, which we took full and perhaps obscene advantage of.

My favorite restaurant we went to was The Chip Shop. We had seen it on the travel channel before and definitely wanted to try it out. They deep fry everything which sounds gross, but it was amazing. Jordan and I got deep fried pizza, and deep fried mac and cheese. It was like having a scone with a pizza inside of it. Sounds gross, but it was divine. For dessert we had a deep fried Twinkie and deep fried Reese's. The Twinkie was good, but it was the Reese's that was heavenly. Heavenly, I say. The chocolate and peanut butter was melted and it tasted like love. Fresh, puppy love. I dreamed about that place too. If you're ever in Brooklyn do yourself a favor and go there.

We went to Carlos Bake Shop in Hoboken NJ, and I was really excited for this because I'm a big fan of the show, Cake Boss. The pastries look so amazing on the show and I was excited to be able to try some. We got there and had to wait in line, and overall it took a little over an hour from the time we got there to checking out.

I got a lobster tail, a cannoli, and a cream puff. Jordan got a couple of cream filled pastries that looked like bite-sized pies and a chocolate chip cookie.

And the verdict? It wasn't that great. I was sorely disapointed and couldn't finish most of the stuff that I got. Same with Jordan, but he did say that chocolate chip cookie was the best he has ever had. I suppose that's just one opinion, and maybe I had hyped everything up in my mind.

Geography

Jordan is going to kill me if he ever reads this. One big thing I learned from the trip, is that our kids had better not learn geography from Jordan. As our plane was on its decent and circling around to land I pointed out the window and told Jordan to look. He asked what he was seeing, and I said water, we were above the ocean. He said, "New York doesn't touch any water, does it?" I had to explain that Manhattan is an island, and he said "They don't have beaches though." Then, I explained that Coney Island was a big ol' beach.

The next day we were in New Jersey and he was asking questions like, "Is New York big?" and what all New York City encompasses. He asked if that was where Jersey Shore was filmed, and I said it's filmed in Jersey, but not this part of Jersey. I wish I remember exactly how he asked this, 'cause it was priceless. He asked how Hoboken could be a part of New Jersey, while New Jersey is a part of New York. I was confused, and it dawned on me that he thought New Jersey was a city in New York. He couldn't figure out if we were in the city of New Jersey then what does that make Hoboken, a sub-city? Which explains why he was dead set that the Jersey Shore was filmed there, since we were in New Jersey city. Ahhhh, needless to say he got crap about that for the rest of the trip.

Ok, I'm bored, and this is getting lengthy. I think next I'm going to talk about all the amazing attractions we got to see.

MOM

2011-05-05T23:03:00.003-06:00

In honor of Mother's day, I thought I would reminisce on a few memories of my mom.

When I was in Kindergarten each student had to read a story in front of the class. I decided to do The Little Red Hen. If you've never heard it before it was about a hen that grew some wheat and eventually used it to bake bread, all while her barnyard friends wouldn't help her. I'm sure there is a magical morale mixed in there somewhere. My mom made miniature loaves of bread for each kid in my class to have. All the kids thougt that was really cool that they got their own loaf of bread, myself included. I was the coolest kid in class that day.

*****

My mom has always said she has ways of knowing things we think she couldn't possibly know, and if we ever do anything wrong, she'll know about it. She had a rule that we couldn't go downtown by oursleves, and I suppose it was a little dangerous. One day me and my friend decided we were going to bike to the local library. Yes, I realize how nerdy this makes me look that I would risk getting grounded to sneak to the library of all places. We biked down there, perused the library, went to the drugstore to buy some candy, went back to the library and read our books while eating our candy in the most sneaky of fashions to hide it from the librarians, and biked home. I thought we were home free (pun intended) until my mom came home from work that evening and asked how the library was. She was at work all day! She is a magician.

*****

When my friends called the house and my mom answered the phone, it went something like this:

Friend: "Is Bre there?"

Mom: "Physically, but not mentally."

Classic.

*****

One day my mom mentioned how much me and sister looked alike. We don't, and I mean we really don't. With my prowess in rhetoric I jumped to the first comparison that came to mind. Bugs, of course. "But mom, Brit is like a Walking Stick, and I'm like a-a Potato Bug!"

I should add that I was about 21 at that time.

I was in between apartments, and was crashing on my parents couch in the basement while I was waiting for the current tenants to move out of my apartment so I could move in. I had several friends over, and we were sitting in the basement when my mom started yelling down the steps:

"POTATO BUG! POTAAAAATO BUUUUUUG! OH, POTATO BUG!"

My friends stopped talking to listen to my mom holler down the stairs. Of course I tried, in vain, to ignore it.

"Is your mom saying 'Potato Bug'?"

"Ummmmm yeah, I guess she is."

"Wait, is your mom calling you Potato Bug?"

"Ha ha, no."

Then my mom chirps in with, "Potato Bug? BRE! Potato Bug, c'mere!"

She knew my friends were there, and knew exactly the effect it would have. Of course, my friends started calling me Potato Bug.

*****

Jordan and I were freshly dating, and were still in the transition from friends to more than. I was again living in my parents basement, but this time I was occupying the only bedroom downstairs. Jordan came over to hang out a lot, so she was used to him there, but I guess she had sensed the change. I had a TV in my room, and we were sitting there watching a movie when she burst through the door with my dad's old shotgun and shouted "What are your intentions with my daughter?!" Except, she barely finished her sentence before she bust out laughing, and continued to laugh so hard she cried. She laughed the rest of the evening, she was so proud of herself. Jordan however, didn't find it as funny, and it took a while before he wasn't intimidated by my mom. I personally look forward to doing the same thing to my daughters' boyfriends.

I should probably make it clear that the gun wasn't loaded.

*****

My mom has a fear of water, and when we were planning our trip to Lake Powell we were desperate for her to come, even though we were planning on staying on a houseboat. It took a lot of begging, canoodling and bribing, but she eventually agreed to go on the trip.

Once there we joked about how we were going to get her out on the tube behind the speedboat. One morning we were all outside getting the boat ready to take out when she stepped out of the houseboat in her swimsuit, zipped up her lifejacket and said she was ready to go.

All our jaws dropped and we stared, unable to believe she was really going to get on the tube. Despite her fear she hopped on that tube.

Smiling or grimacing, you ask? I think I little bit of both.

While she didn't exactly conquer her fear, I was so proud that she kicked it in the butt a little that day.

******

My mom playing guitar hero. And if this awesomeness isn't self-explanatory, the look on Jordan's face in the background should be explanation enough.

My mom is the greatest mother I could have asked for. I feel so lucky to be her daughter. When I grow up I want to be just like her.

5 Days To Go, Commencing Freakout

2011-05-02T15:58:00.000-06:00

I leave for New York Saturday, and I'm unbelievably excited. I have wanted to go to New York my entire life, and have been planning this trip since January.

As excited as I am, I'm also a little panicked. My stress list consists of the following.

-I am so out of shape it's not even funny. We are doing a lot of walking, and I know I am going to die. I take great comfort that my sister is super pregnant and will be walking at the same pace.

-Everything in New York is super expensive. What if I didn't save enough money and we find ourselves broke on the fourth day?

-I ordered the Lion King tickets Apr 5th, and still haven't gotten them yet. I called the website I ordered them from and must have efficiently conveyed my panic 'cause they are sending them via Fed Ex, and I should get them in two days. I suppose I could have just said I would pick them up at will call, but I have a deep seeded fear that the web site I ordered them from is a scam, and I'm going to get to will call and they have no tickets for us. I'd love to have them firmly in my paws before I leave.

-Now that Osama Bin Laden is dead I'm sure security is going to be amped up in case of retaliation. I'm convinced I will get a cavity search at the airport. I'll have to remember to wear a decent pair of underwear... Jordan figures it will take about a week for OBL's peeps to formulate a plan of revenge, so come Saturday they will be prepared just in time for our flight to NYC.

Other than that I'm pretty excited. I've got a long list of things that I want to do there, and Jordan is really just hoping we get into the Cash Cab.