The Gordian Knot was Created by a Knitter

2012-04-27T21:09:00.001-04:00

It's aliiiive. Sorta.

Updates and Such

2007-12-01T11:34:00.000-05:00

Let's see, updates updates...

I've lost 30 lbs. That's a happy happy thing. 20 more before March is needed, and is definitely possible.

I've finished a bunch of little projects, including a felted purple mottled top hat.

We bought a dishwasher. This may sound boring, but it's utterly delightful in terms of sheer cleaning of the kitchen goodness.

We also got a new firdge, an all-fridge fridge, far more energy efficient and SO much more space than the 20 year old can't-put-anything-on-the-door, two shelved mold-making wonder we had before.

I actually bought a digital camera, so more pictures are also a possibility, including, perhaps, one of me with the new short (!) haircut. My hair went from dark brown, curly, and mid back length to chin length in the front and 2 inches in the back, caramel with gold highlights, and far straighter (due to the dye, I think). It's a bit of a shock, but people have been overwhelmingly positive.

Is it a bit selfish to wish someone had said "I liked your hair before"? (Except my wife, who did, because she likes me, just as me. I'm blessed and I know it.) A few hundred "Wow! You look good!" or "Huh, you're pretty today." are nice ego boosters, but leave me wondering if the rest of the time people were thinking "Geez, why doesn't she just...". Of course, this may be influenced by the fact that the student teacher in my class has decided to teach the fashion unit with What Not to Wear as the end activity. The victim? Yours truly. The kids lit up with glee when they were told, and I got reactions like "Miss! Yes! I'm SO changing your hair/face/those eyebrows have got to go (I LIKE my eyebrows, that isn't happening)/makeup/clothes/Miss, don't worry, you'll look good for a change."

*grins* I love teaching. Honest.

Cheers.

Yeah School Spirit

2007-05-21T18:01:00.000-04:00

So the knitting club is moving along quite duckily. My digital camera was repossessed by the school when I ceased being the yearbook person, so I prevailed upon a friend to take this picture.

As a fundraiser, one of our charity groups sold blank white ceiling tiles for the cafeteria. Teachers and clubs and students could buy a tile, paint it wit something appropriate, and have it hung in the caf for all to see.

Witness the tile of the Knitting Club. The school name is smudged out, but the sentiment comes through - (deleted) High School, Closely Knit.

And we are. Idea by me, knotwork drawn freehand by my wife, painting by me.

Meeeeee (well, cuter and skinnier)

2007-04-26T20:37:00.001-04:00

Visual DNA

2007-04-15T13:44:00.000-04:00

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Permission

2007-04-06T12:20:00.000-04:00

I've decided to give myself permission to accept that i'm never going to be a standard blogger. I love reading everyone else's blogs, and I admire them for posting tns of pretty pictures and life-news.

However, since I was 7 years old, people have been trying to get me to keep some form of journal, and it's yet to stick. I can write. I don't mind writing. Sometimes I love writing. But in terms of writing consistently, I can't seem to do it.

A recent (good but rather long) conference on literacy gave me time to realize why. I tend to discuss things when I'm emotional, or trying to entertain people. These are two totally different purposes. When I'm emotional, I write to express and release. I vent. When it's all over, I feel better, and vaguely guilty aboout having bothered others with an excess of emotion I no longer feel.

When I'm writing to share humourous things in my life, I find it's more fun to see my audience. Blogging, alas, doesn't let you actually watch the tea being spit across another person's keyboard, nor does it give yoou the ability to share a belly laugh in that one-encouraging-the-other-can't-stop-laughing kind of way.

So I write a little in one vein, drift away, come back, re-read and think "Blech, I wouldn't read this person." Then I write a little in the other vein, come back, re-read, and think "Tee-hee, but if people have read that, then I oughtn't burden them with this."

Either of these two reactions makes me toddle off towards the safer, instant-reaction land of verbality.

But then....

But then I see Stephanie, who makes me laugh AND cry with her - whose talks I attend feeling mildly like a stalker, and who writes nearly daily - and I feel like I ought to somehow live up to her example.

I see Mamacate, on whose blog I am normally a silent lurker, but who is where I hope to be in the coming years. She doesn't blog as often now, but she has reasons. I have excuses.

I see blog after blog, and all these wonderful women (and men, but for some reason I seem to read women more often) who write regularly. I think "I write, I think, why aren't I doing that?" I think "I'm sitting at home staring at walls and screens, and not writing. Why am I not writing?"

Perhaps its the same reason that the laundry is a pile, not a memory, the dishes in the sink, and the butt in the chair rather than wombling about the neighbourhood.

I'm lazy. *grins* And anti-social, cranky, curmudgeonly, slow, slothful, and generally a poor role-model.

Except when I'm not.

Murder Sucks

2006-09-29T23:02:00.000-04:00

Khatera Sadiqi. Bright, smiling, bubbling, beautiful girl.
Most beautiful eyes.
Dazzling smile.
Gave away her lunch to a homeless man because he looked like he needed an apple.
Personality -charming even as she forgot her homework for the four millionth time.
You're in my heart - all our hearts.
Your brother is in jail now. It's not enough, but it has to do.
If we took the revenge we think we crave, we'd be as bad as he.
We'll continue on, and try to smile your smile for you.

Scarf Exchange

2006-08-13T14:57:00.000-04:00

I've just joined the Scarf Exchange and I'm so very excited! This will give me an opportunity to knit for someone else specific for a change. I'm already pouring over patterns, and yarns, and Oh JOY!

In other news, the Giant Desk from My Childhood has been moved out of the office in the basement, and transported to school. "Why?" you may ask. Well, for several reasons. First of all, it's a jeezley huge piece of furniture in a teensy weensy room. Not sensible that, especially since we have 2 laptops, and no longer use the desktop except as backup.

Secondly, I didn't want to get rid of it. I got that desk when I was about 8. It is the size of a single bed, with drawers and a middle drawer, and pull out extra work surfaces, and it help everything in the universe til I was 13. Then we moved and, horror of horrors, couldn't get it up the stairs. My parents sold it, and bought me a tiny desk, one suitable for a young lady. My packrat tendencies with shifted to beneath the bed and in the closet.

Fast forward almost 10 years, and I find my desk up for sale on an intraweb site at work. $80 delivers the hardwood heaven to my apartment, where my darling wife (then my darling fiancee) raises an eyebrow and tolerates it for my sake. She tolerates it through the move to the house here, but puts her foot down with regards to it being in the upstairs livingroom. Down the stairs the three strapping young men take my desk, and, with much groaning and manuevering, they wiggle it into the tiniest of the three bedrooms, where it takes up fully half the space.

So I'm a little attached. Selling it wasn't an option that my wife would entertain (although I think that was because she was scared I'd spend another 10 years looking for its replacement). So she suggested moving it to school. To my classroom.

That's right, dear readers, I have my very own classroom. Four years of lugging everything I own around on my back (because teachers don't _get_ lockers, my dears, they have classrooms, doncha know), and I've received a home base. Happy Happy Knitter me!

Now I'm a-looking for posters and doodads and paper thingies and all the stuff that makes a classroom interesting for the kids. And in the front of it all, firmly marking my territory as mine, and not to be trifled with, will be my huge solid imposing wooden desk.

After all, they can't make me change rooms if the desk is there, right?

So dear wife and I moved the desk up the stairs. Mental note- if it takes 3 strapping lads 20 minutes to move something down some tight stairs, then 2 women should likely not try to move it back up. Or so we discovered, once we'd trapped my wife on the stairs, and me at the bottom.

Sheer stubborn got that desk up the stairs. I have a bruise across my chest where I balanced the entire weight of it for 3 minutes while my wife got her wind back. SHE has a bruised foot where she balanced it accidentally whilst losing said wind in a rather audible gasp. The wall may have acquired a gouge or two in the paint, but I'm not going to pay attention to those yet. After an hour, the desk was up.

The gentleman hired to take it to the school happens to work as a custodian there too. He's decided that it's my room - he's never moving the desk again.

As for myself - I have a room free now, so we're moving the loom and part of the stash and the bookshelves into it, and we shall have a media/knitting room and a library/weaving room.

New knitting, new furniture arrangement, and a classroom to call my own. I'm happy enough I shall go knit a sock.

(Nope, that's not done yet...but it will be. I have Faith!)

In Knitting News

2006-08-08T17:15:00.000-04:00

Well, socks and I are still not best friends. I have about 4 inches completed on My First Real Sock. MFRS is so called because I've done four pairs of Fuzzy Feet from Knitty, but have yet to manage to focus on a pair of real socks long enough to finish.

Instead, I cast on for the Faroese Peaks shawl from Knitpicks. I'm using their yarn in the Leprecaun colourway. It's yummy - soft and doesn't split. The variagation is pooling a little, but not badly. Interestingly enough, it seems to be one of the overlooked patterns. Everyone's enamoured with Adamus, but I'm enjoying the simple garter stitch parts.

I have, however, found that the only way I seem to be able to knit lace is doubled. That is to say, I knit a row, count the stitches and yarn overs to make sure it's correct. Knit the locking row (plain garter stitch that locks the lace together) while counting the stitches again from paranoia. Knit most of the rest of the next row of lace before discovering that I have miscounted. Tink two rows. Reknit and achieve perfection. Move on to the next row. Lather rinse repeat.

Nevertheless, I have finished the first chart of the pattern! Picture will come as soon as I figure out how to post the blasted things again.

As for the job....I'm teaching knitting at Yarn Forward! Yes, yes, I know, after that last paragraph I wouldn't hire me either, but honestly I can teach. There are over 150 teenagers who prove that. My DW will be teaching tatting too, so we're both hired by a yarn store. Not just A yarn store, but OUR yarn store, the one we love and cherish.

Louise joked that she should pay us in gift certificates. I think she was surprised when we not only agreed, but begged her to do so. That would solve our overspending on yarn habit. Well, it would hide it, truthfully, since money not coming into the house in cash needn't be added to the budget.

So, a house, a job in a yarn store, and hidden money. I'm a happy happy knitter.

Home Ownership

2006-08-04T23:02:00.000-04:00

We bought our house!

One year ago, surfing house sites and dreaming, I clicked on a rent-to-own ad. It was for a townhouse, 3 bedrooms and a fireplace, near my parents and far from the rapidly disintegrating hellhole of an apartment that we were living in.

The lady who was selling offered us a deal - we'd pay rent for a year, and a portion of each month's rent would be counted as downpayment. The rent would equal what a mortgage payment would be, and at the end of the year, we'd have paid a total of 5% down.

On Monday, we signed the final papers to shift ownership from her to us. Perfect. No moving. No set up fees for phone, cable, internet, electricity, etc. Just sign the papers and BINGO you're a landowner.

*looks around shiftily* And there was knitting. A lot of it. And a knitting job.

But I'll tell you all about that tomorrow.

blink blink Oh hello!

2006-06-04T13:57:00.000-04:00

After months and months of not writing everything, I've decided to try again.

Does anyone else in the blogoverse find themselves composing blog posts on the way home from work, and then getting distracted? By the time I get around to being on the computer, I feel as if I've written the post, and so I don't bother actually typing it.

I know, I know, one cannot actually blog directly brain to blog, but wouldn't it be nifty?

Anyhoo, I'm going to try to post more regularly.

In other news, I have RAOKs going out this week to a bunch of people. Some lovely Fleece Artist roving, and some pretty rainbowy yarn.

I'm working on this sock (yes, one, I still haven't ever finished one) made with this spiffy yarn that has aloe and jojoba oil in it. Louise at Yarn Foward says the oils last 20 to 30 washes. Handmade socks that moisturize your feet! Bets on if I'll finish them?

Cheers!

Bunnies and Kittens

2006-02-11T22:18:00.000-05:00

OK...

Remember that whole "I' glad we don't have cats anymore thing"?

Apparently I lied.

Now we have a cat again - a rescue, sort of .

And two rabbits.

I'm trying my first shawl for Harlot's Olympics.

My wife is, as usual, light years ahead of me in terms of learning new techniques.

More later....I finally have some time to blog again.

Cheers,
D

OOOoooOOO

2005-10-06T20:07:00.000-04:00

Nifty!

My lovely secret pal sent me a giftie which arrived today. Thank you thank you thank you! Inside was tea-tree and ginger facial scrub (mmmm...ginger) which smells lovely, a gorgeous purple bracelet that perfectly matched the dress I wore today, some polka-dotted post-it type notes (so very handy for aiding in following patterns) and...most interesting...some locking stitch markers.

Now, I will confess, I have absolutely no clue what one is SUPPOSED to use locking stitch markers for, although the picture on the package shows them festooning a sweater. I think, however, that you probably use them on things like shawls and sweaters to mark where you need to pick up stitches, or which row you should drop a stitch down to.

You know what that means, dearest readers? That's right! It means I need a new project, one which requires locking stitch markers. What's that, you say? I'm terrible at math (even worse than the Harlot and her 8 mistakes?). Why yes, yes I am. But I'm also gutsy! I'll start any project, any project at all, I will. (shhh...don't talk about finishing projects)

Oh! Speaking of finishing projects, I got a giggle today. My mom called. She's bored with a project, and wanted to know if I wanted to finish it for her. She was attempting to make thrummed mittens for my sister, currently studying in Germany. Instead, she found that thrumming is "boring. Really really boring. Like, I'd rather type on the computer, it's THAT boring."

Why did I giggle, you ask? Remember that lovely thrummed headband I was making last winter? Erm...it's hidden in the desk drawer from whence projects tend not to return. To give you an idea of how hidden...it's below ALL the socks.

Sooooo....anyone got any ideas for a lockable stitch marker project that won't inhabit a desk?

SP6 Questionnaire

2005-10-01T11:48:00.000-04:00

I just noticed that this questionnaire was different from the SP5 one, so here goes:

1. Are you a yarn snob (do you prefer high-end/natural fibers)? Do you avoid Red Heart and Lion Brand? Or is it all the same to you?

I am a bit of a yarn snob. I adore natural fibres, but I don’t mind super soft arcrylic for baby stuff. I detest ribbon yarns, thick/thins, and anything that squeaks on the needles. I’m always open to trying new things though.

2. Do you spin? Crochet?

I’m learning to spin. I have a Louet that is just lovely, but I’m not very good yet. Practice will aid that, or so the bloggers would have me believe. J right now I have a BIG bag of fibre to spin though, so my spinning needs are more than taken care of.

3. Do you have any allergies? (smoke, pets, fibers, perfume, etc.)
Allergic to anything with hair (although I lived with two cats up until about 3 months ago, so it’s not too severe). Allergic to mold and mildew – which, of course, is everyone’s favourite SP5 gift to send. Commercial perfumes with alcohol bases really make me wheezy. I seem to be mildly allergic to alcohol in general, in fact. I’m a non smoker as well (funny, with the asthma, I never wanted to try it)

4. How long have you been knitting?

Started about three years ago, and promptly taught 150+ other people.

5. Do you have an Amazon or other online wish list?

I have an Amazon wishlist under the email orris2004 AT hotmail DOT com. The Amazon list was created primarily for friends and family, so please don’t think I’d ever expect (or even hope for) some of the objects in a SP5 gift.

6. What's your favorite scent? (for candles, bath products etc.)

I love spicy scents like ginger, cloves, and cinnamon. I greatly dislike roses and lavendar scents. To give you an idea, I prefer all the men’s deodorant scents to the women’s. Fresh, light, non-floral is a great bet.

7. Do you have a sweet tooth?

Ummm. We’ll go with yes on this one. Yep, definitely yes. I’m particularly fond of hard candies. The one thing I can’t ever seem to find for myself is something called “spice gums”. They look like your usual sugar-rolled jujubes, but instead of fruit flavours, the white ones are clove, the red ones are cinnamon, the green ones mint etc.

8. What other crafts or Do-It-Yourself things do you like to do?

I’m not actually very good with my hands, all the knitting to the contrary. The spinning, as mentioned above, is fairly disastrous, mainly because I simply don’t have a lot of time to practice (OK, and I knit when I DO have the time)

9. What kind of music do you like? Can your computer/stereo play MP3s? (if your buddy wants to make you a CD)

I like just about every kind of music except really heavy metal or really heavy rock, and the twangy old fashioned country. Right now the music I’m listening to ranges from Clannad to Rhianna. My computer plays MP3s, and functions as my stereo. Mostly I like fun bouncy upbeat music.

10. What's your favorite color? Or--do you have a color family/season/palette you prefer?

I love deep jewel tones, and autumn colours – especially the red/browns. I’m not at all into neons; pink and I can’t cohabitate happily.

11. What is your family situation? Do you have any pets?

I am married (one year on June 29th – it’s legal in Ontario) to a wonderful lady who makes me deleriously happy. In the past 8 months, we’ve had to put both our cats down, so we are pet-free or pet-less, depending on how much I miss having laundry peed on that day. We don’t have children yet, but would like to in the near future.

12. What are your life dreams? (really stretching it here, I know)
To keep teaching high school, to make a difference, to own a nice home on a biggish piece of land, to keep alpacas and goats and maybe bunny rabbits, to have children – several of them – and raise them as happy-healthy-intelligence-self-reliant people instead of the pet-accessories I’ve seen so many parents keep. To travel. To learn more languages. To brush up on my Welsh, which is over a decade rusty and wasn’t beyond the point and grunt method by much before. To learn to play my pruple violin. To conquer my tone-deafness. To change myself until washing dishes RIGHT after dinner becomes as automatic as it is for my mom. To live to a ripe old age with my wife by my side, as much in love then as we are now. To make other people happy, both in person and anonymously.

13. What is/are your favorite yarn/s to knit with?
Honestly? Fleece Artist silk/merino blend. Failing that, I love soft, sock–to-worsted weight natural stuff. I like alpaca, cashmere, and luxury fibres, but will knit happily with almost anything that isn’t bulky, boucle, or squeaky/scratchy. I’d love to knit with cobweb or Shetland fine yarn, but I’m not sure if I’m good enough to try yet, since the patterns I’d try are the kinds that are annotated “Mary So-and-So took three years to spin the yarn for this shawl, and another five years to knit it up. She’d been knitting lace for forty years when she started, and still regards this shawl as her greatest achievement.” Me? Overachiever? Well, maybe. More likely a dreamer though. I also recently got to play with a little bit of the Euroflax lace weight and it was NICE.

14. What fibers do you absolutely *not* like?
See above. Scratchy, squeaky, bumpy, rough.

15. What is/are your current knitting obsession/s?
Knitted toys. Lace. Finishing something.

16. What is/are your favorite item/s to knit?
I go back and forth on this. I like having a big simple project on the needles, so that I can carry it from class to class in the school where I teach, and not worry about losing the pattern, or dropping a stitch. I knit when the kids are working quietly, since it’s the only way I can watch them, not be bored, and not interrupt THEIR concentration when I am bored. So things like blankets, ponchos, etc are great. On the other hand, they’re also really boring when they hit the black hole stage. That's when I start playing with lace and hard patterns. Then I get fristrated and stop for a week or three. I love the idea of sweaters, but I’ve never made one since sleeves and necks scare me.

17. What are you knitting right now?

Oh. Umm. * scuffs her toe in the dirt and looks sheepish * A sweater, two to six socks ( I hide em), a shawl, and a bunch of patterns I look at but don’t buy so I'm just knitting in my head. Oh! And the corset thingy the Harlot was bloggin about…but I haven’t started that one, just bought the yarn.

18. What do you think about ponchos?
I love them, but I’m very plus-sized, so they tend to be given away when they make me look like a modern dancer who couldn’t quite squeeze all the way into the body bag.

19. Do you prefer straight or circular needles?
Circulars, generally. BUT I have a knitting club at my school (remember those 150+ people I taught to knit? Yes, they’re ALL in the club)…so straight needles from 4mm to 7 mm have all disappeared from my house, and will likely KEEP disappearing.

20. Bamboo, aluminum, plastic
Bamboo. Aluminum when there’s no bamboo. Plastic is way too slippery for me.

21. Are you a sock knitter?

I want to say yes, I dream of being able to say yes, I feel so “othered” having to say no, but….no. I have 4 socks cast on. the oldest is from before last Christmas. None of them have gone past the ribbing. (looks guilty) I DID manage to knit a pair of Fuzzy Feet from knitty. Do they count?

22. How did you learn to knit?
Well, my mom taught me, and I promptly forgot, having gotten frustrated that I couldn’t purl. Repeat process six more times from ages 6 to 17. In university, a schoolmate taught me to knit again, but again, no one could teach me to purl. A year ago at 28, I committed myself to teaching an entire class of kids to knit (so that I wouldn’t have to teach them to use the sewing machines…I HATE sewing, and the machines were 40+ years old and 9 different models). Overnight, I relearned knitting. Three days later, I taught myself to purl with some help (read “ARGH! Why can’t you do this??? OH, you need to HEAR the instructions not see them performed! Hmm...how to you indicate a loop without calling it a loop?”) from my wife, who I’D taught to knit just a few days before.

23. How old is your oldest UFO?

A year and a half. It’s a sock.

24. What is your favorite animated character or a favorite animal/bird?

Raccons, otters, robins, and Eben and Snooch, the webcomic cats from TwoLumps. And Xena. She’s not animated, but is artificial enough to count.

25. What is your favorite holiday?

Canada Day because of the beautiful fireworks. Hallowe’en for the fun, costumes, and candy. Beltaine (May Day) for the fire, drumming, and dancing.

26. Is there anything that you collect?

Dust? Other than that: books, yarn, and pretty semi-precious rocks (amber/amethyst/etc) in their raw form.

27. What knitting magazine subscriptions do you have?

None.

28. Any books out there you are dying to get your hands on?

Well, the whole sci-fi, fantasy, comparative religions, and knitting sections of Chapters. I love cooking too, and especially bread baking. I’m always trying new types of food. I’m a big foodie. Hmm…that MIGHT have something to do with the whole poncho problem, mightn’t it?

29. Any patterns you have been coveting, but haven't bought for one reason or another?
Zimmerman’s Pi shawl. I can’t find it outside a book.

30. What are your foot measurements, and what kind of socks do you like?
I wear a size 8 ladies. From heel to toe along the middle bottom of my foot is 9 inches. Across the widest part is about 4.5 inches.I like thin socks, generally, and lil patterns make me giggle. I teach drama, so I send a lot of time sock-footed.

Secret Pals are great!

2005-09-26T14:07:00.000-04:00

Hello folks!

I suddenly realized that my poor secret pal must be wondering if I've dropped off the face of the earth. I haven't; I'm still here!

In knitting news, I'm about 1/2 done a sweater in Jame C. Brett's Marble yarn. You can see the colourway here. Isn't it pretty? I'm heavily modifying the Kool-Aid dyed sweater from Stitch n Bitch. I sized up multiple sizes (so i'm terrified about fudging hte sleeves). I thought it would be HUGE on me, but no, it looks like it's a dear wife present. Thank heavens we like similar colours and textures.

I ordered the Cascading Hearts shawl pattern and yarn from Nandia. I'm not sure if I trust my ability to knit lace, especially with cashmere, but hey, it's worth a shot, eh? Besides, at least ripping out and untangling knots will feel lovely.

School is again eating up my time, although I may have worked a tiny lil trick to allow for extra blogging. I've assigned blogs to my English classes. They will create and maintain a bog, in character, for a semester. Computer lab time once every two weeks ought to help. Wheeeee!

As for the new house, it's nice. I love having a fireplace, and I adotre having more rooms. We're finding that the single huge room upstairs, with no seating, isn't being used enough though, so we're working on rearranging it til it does.

Now that I'm back at school, pictures of knitting and such will be forthcoming, as the yearbook camera does double duty. Stay tuned...I will actually be on more often.

For the lovely secret pal type person, I am terribly sorry that I have seemed to be awol. I do read email, I just seem to cut blogging in order to knit.

hugs!
ME!

Blog Filler

2005-09-10T20:29:00.000-04:00

Thank you to the best secret pal in the universe.

Thank you to the lady who sent me the lovely crane.

Thanks to the folks who pointed my towards violin lessons, and those who are just plain ol nice.

More posting, more neat stuff later.

For now, to hold your interest:

FACT: You are more likely to be killed by a Champagne cork than by a poisonous spider.

Reasons Spiders are Scarier than Corks:

Even though champagne corks kills hundreds more people every year than poisonous spiders do, people are still more afraid of spiders. The following list covers some of the factors in the lack of cork awareness.

Stealth Factor: Spiders move silently and on their own. Corks make a loud pop noise and must be activated by a human.

Movement Pattern: Spiders will dodge and weave, moving in an unpredictable and therefore frighteningly random pattern. Champagne corks travel in a straight line unless deflected, at which time they follow the standard rules of physics regarding changes of vector and velocity.

Camoflague: Spiders come in many shapes, sizes and colours; champagne corks are standard in size and are only found next to champagne bottles, not next to anything at all.

The Russian Roulette Factor: People may be more careless around spiders because only some of them are poisonous. Thus, in overcompensation, it is safer to treat all spiders as deadly, even though most are not. The steady danger factor with champagne corks adds a sense of security because everyone knows both how to handle them and that all are potentially dangerous.

Legs: Spiders: too many. Champagne corks: none

Scary Movies: In this media driven age, few dangers are left unrepresented. Movies such as Arachnophobia have publicized the dangers of spiders and heightened public awareness. In contrast, the dangerous and lethal champagne cork receives much less press and thus stands in the shadows, waiting to catch the unsuspecting.

Close-ups: Spiders have fangs and drool and, if blown up to human size, would eat us. Champagne corks are dry and, if blown up to human size, would make excellent message boards. Furthermore, while a large spider moves faster and is more dangerous, an extremely large champagne cork has much greater inertia and presents as much threat as a large boulder.

Free will: Champagne corks are aimed, spiders choose their victims. The idea of being targeted by something with free will makes people feel much more persecuted than being struck with something that was aimed. After all, one can understand and thwart and have revenge upon a human who aims a champagne cork, but a spider goes to its death satisfied, and no true revenge is possible.

Another "Challenge"

2005-08-13T21:44:00.001-04:00

OK, so if you've learned anything at all about me, you've learned that I take on a lot, usually in huge chunks.

After all, I learned to knit and then taught all those kids.

I walked all night (for cancer) as penance for not walking a 5K (for CHEO - the Children's Hospital of Eastern Ontario).

I bought a house on 1 day's notice. Ok, the paperwork's going to last a year, but it was less than 24 hours between "Look at this ad online, love" and "I think we're going to be very happy there, I'm glad we signed."

If you've learned two things about me, the second may be that I spontaneously buy hobbies. Witness the fact that my budget now has a "yarn" category. Moreover, my darling wife has the same boredom/indulgence/overdoing it pattern that I have.

SHE is the one who figured out that yarn is pretty, and colourful, and can be hung in hanging baskets instead of flowers. Thus yarn is decorative. Thus DECORATIVE yarn (as opposed to black/white/grey/neutral-y colours) is NOT in the yarn budget. It is a part of the "house maintenance" budget, by dint of being a decoration on the same level as extra chairs, paint, wallpaper, or a garden.

So knowing these things about me/us, you'll surely not be terribly surprised when I tell you the following two things:

1) I bought my wife a violin
2) I bought one for myself too. Mine's purple.

Do I know how to play? Nope. Can my wife? Double nope. Can I even read music? Nopers, but she can. Of course, we've proven conclusively that we shoudl never attempt to teach each other any skill. The look of sheer frustration on her face as she attempted to explain tatting to me was enough there.

Most importantly :Can I fiddle and knit? Well.....possibly. But I find it unlikely.

So I'm sitting here, waiting for the ebay shipment of two violins to arrive, wondering how I'll fit knitting and learning to play violin AND fiddle (same intrument, different technique..Google's my friend) into the last 2 weeks of summer vacation, while hosting a housewarming party, prepping for my new courses, unpacking my house (AFTER the party...housework is eternal, but friends get cranky if there's no party within a month of moving), and all that other neat stuff.

Anyone know how to fiddle? And how to teach by email?

D

New Home

2005-08-09T17:34:00.000-04:00

Sorry about that, folks.

I hadn’t realized it’d been this long since I posted. There’s simply been so much happening. Let’s start with the biggest and best thing of all:

WE HAVE A HOUSE!

About late June, we went into negotiations with a lady who owns a nice townhouse in a MUCH better area of town. The deal is that we pay her rent for a year. At the end of the year, 40% of what we paid is accepted by her as a legal 5% down payment on the purchase price of the house. The rent was set by her so that our mortage payments, as calculated by the bank, would be exactly equal to the rent we pay the first year. Thus, if we can afford the rent, we can afford the mortgage.

So we’ve moved from a one bedroom apartment in the nasty area of town to a three bedroom, one and a half bathroom townhouse in one of the nicer areas of town.

Happy happy joy joy!

Fill you in on more tomorrow.

Back to Life....back to reality

2005-06-14T20:12:00.000-04:00

Hello fearless readers.

So, I've found out something about myself. When stress and bad things hit, my desire to cocoon and not talk to anyone apparently extends to blogging. However, in the interests of making sure my Secret Pal is in the loop, and in response to those readers who've sent me "Are you OK" mails, I thought I'd best overcome that desire to be mute.

Two weeks ago, we put the second (and last) of our two cats down. Tora was a wonderful companion, soft and gentle and full of purring mischief. She was a beautiful cat, with Siamese colouring and turquoise eyes. (In fact, she was a Tonkinese ) She was from the same litter as Mya, who we put down just after Christmas. We had hoped that Mya's problems were medical and Tora's were just, pardon the pun, copy cat peeings. But when Tora was clearly following the same patterns, with the same beginning signs of pain, we decided that we couldn't put ourselves or another cat through the stress that we'd been through with Mya. The decision was made much more difficult by the fact that Tora seemed far healthier than Mya had. Nevertheless, it was the right thing to do. We are now catless, or catfree, depending on how nostalgic I feel for cat-pee soaked clothing, furniture, or flooring. My asthma is better than it has been in the five years we've had cats. The house cleans more easily. The knitting doesn't tangle. I miss her.

On June 2nd, my uncle Chuck passed away. Tumours in his spinal cord were an ongoing problem in the last few years. Last year he went from an active go-getter to a wheelchair bound go-getter in just seven weeks. Through the whole ordeal, through pain meds that sent him into microsleeps and pain meds that didn't work at all, through building a wheelchair ramp with his whole community to building lasting memories with his family, Chuck remained positive, joyful, and full of life. When the same tumours showed up in his brain, he chose not to endure any more surgery, radiation, or chemotherapy. His example of courage breaks my heart and makes me so so very proud.

Finally, my wife's recent visit to a hemotologist has lead us to worry. There is a chance she may have von Willebrand's disease, or haemophilia. This puts our plans for children into a bit of a bind. Luckily, I have a womb too, and adoption is an option if all else fails, but the idea of a disease, especially a genetic one, is scary.

While trying to NOT say any of these things, I omitted writing about smaller joys.

I walked in the Relay for Life in Ottawa - an overnight 12 hour relay to raise money for cancer research. This year I halved my lap time compared to last year. Next year I hope to halve it again.

The yearbooks were delivered, and the students at my high school were overwhelmingly positive about them. Next year, I'm doing it again, this time with experience!

Our contract is about to be settled, meaning I don't have to worry about strikes for the next few years. I have opinions about teachers striking, but rumour has it that bloggin such things can set the union on you, so that shall have to suffice.

I haven't finished a single project in knitting, but I HAVE acquired a cheerful friendly Secret Pal, who emailed me Sunday to say a package was en route. Today the littel Canada Post notice arrived sayign that the package was in town, but also that it would not be available for pickup til tomorrow after 1. Secret Pal, this blog entry's for you.

Furthermore, the secret pal I'm sending stuff to is a lovely lady, and both I and my DW are having fun trying to assemble neat stuff for her.

I have THREE entries into my blog contest on weirdest teen trends. Prizes will be sent out the 16th, but it's not too late to join in.

DW's job has realized that she's simply brilliant. They've made a suggestion that she write her own job description in a way that will make her most happy and most useful to the largest number of uber-managers. That was smart of them.

Please note: this is not an "I-love-her" exaggeration. My wife is almost freakishly bright, but very quiet and modest. It therefore takes most folks by surprise that she can look at a problem, tilt her head, and develop a solution before you've blinked twice. The last computer consultant at her company that she interacted with said only "But...but...you can't DO that with Excel!" for a period of several hours. HE was supposed to be the expert. SHE was just the person recently promoted from the warehouse. The lady is SMART and competent and a very hard worker, and works for a company that recognizes and rewards all three.

My final exams are written and in the vault at school. My Drama class is proving themselves more talented than they thought they ever could be, and acquitted themselves brilliantly in front of an audience. My other class is taking responsibility for their decisions, even the ones that cause about a quarter of them to fail.

This is a positive sign. A student who says "My work habits need work, but I really enjoyed the course. I learned a lot." is a success in my heart, if not on paper. One who passes, but says "I got a low mark because the teacher hates me" is not a success in my heart. My job is teaching, but the curriculum, while very important, isn't the only thing teachers teach. If I send a kid out into the summer with no credit because he was working the 4 pm-2 am shift and simply never managed to hand in essays or assignments (even after months of extensions), but that kid goes from my class to the library to take out a book on something that intrigued him, then he's becoming a learner and a thinker. Any kid, with enough push from parents and sufficient money for leisure, can learn to "play school". Kids who learn to learn impress me.

So there you have it. The bitter and the sweet. Sorry that it took me so very long.

PS: ENTER THE CONTEST!

Secret pal 5 Answers

2005-06-03T21:08:00.000-04:00

Normal blogging will return soon. The contest (see the last entry) is still open until June 15th. Diane, right now you win the prize, by default. Cross your fingers no one will read me?

I feel semi-guilty answering these questions, but I understand that they may be useful to Secret pals and RAOKers alike, so here goes:

1. Are you a yarn snob (do you prefer higher quality and/or natural fibers)? Do you avoid Red Heart and Lion Brand? Or is it all the same to you?

I am a bit of a yarn snob. I adore natural fibres, but I don’t mind super soft arcrylic for baby stuff. I detest ribbon yarns, thick/thins, and anything that squeaks on the needles. I’m always open to trying new things though.

2. Do you spin? Crochet?

I’m learning to spin. I have a Louet that is just lovely, but I’m not very good yet. Practice will aid that, or so the bloggers would have me believe. J

3. Do you have any allergies? (smoke, pets, fibers, perfume, etc.)

Allergic to anything with hair (although I lived with two cats up until about 3 months ago, so it’s not too severe). Allergic to mold and mildew – which, of course, is everyone’s favourite SP5 gift to send. Commercial perfumes with alchol bases really make me wheezy. I seem to be mildly allergic to alcohol in general, in fact.

4. How long have you been knitting?

Started about three years ago, and promptly taught 150+ other people.

5. Do you have an Amazon or other online wish list?

I have an Amazon wishlist under the email orris2004 AT hotmail DOT com and a knitpicks wishlist, but I’m not sure if it’s visible to others. The Amazon list is for friends and family, so please don’t think I’d ever expect (or even hope for) some of the objects in a SP5 gift.

6. What's your favorite scent? (for candles, bath products etc.)

I love spicy scents like ginger, cloves, and cinnamon.

7. Do you have a sweet tooth?

Yes, especially for hard candy and dark chocolate.

8. What other crafts or Do-It-Yourself things do you like to do?

Honestly, very little. We live in a one bedroom apartment, which limits crafting space. Both I and my wife knit and are learning spinning, so this is severe limitation on other crafts. My wife tats, but I’m not a tatter.

9. What kind of music do you like? Can your computer/stereo play MP3s? (if your buddy wants to make you a CD)

I like just about every kind of music except really heavy metal or really heavy rock, and the twangy old fashioned country. My computer plays MP3s, and functions as my stereo. Mostly I like fun bouncy upbeat music.

10. What's your favorite color? Or--do you have a color family/season/palette you prefer? Any colors you just can't stand?

Love deep jewel tones, and autumn colours. Not at all into neons, and pink and I can’t cohabitate happily.

11. What is your family situation? Do you have any pets?

I am married (one year on June 29th – it’s legal in Ontario) to a wonderful lady who makes me deleriously happy. In the past 6 months, we’ve had to put both our cats down, so we are pet-free or pet-less, depending on how much I miss having laundry peed on that day. We don’t have children yet, but would like to in the near future.

12. What are your life dreams? (really stretching it here, I know)

To keep teaching high school, to make a difference, to own a nice home on a biggish piece of land, to keep alpacas and goats and maybe bunny rabbits, to have children – several of them – and raise them as happy-healthy-intelligence-self-reliant people instead of the pet-accessories I’ve seen so many parents keep. To travel. To learn more languages. To brush up on my Welsh, which is over a decade rusty and wasn’t beyond the point and grunt method by much before. To change myself until washing dishes RIGHT after dinner becomes as automatic as it is for my mom. To live to a ripe old age with my wife by my side, as much in love then as we are now. To make other people happy, both in person and anonymously.

13. What is/are your favorite yarn/s to knit with?

Honestly? Fleece Artist silk/merino blend. Failing that, I love soft, sock–to-worsted weight natural stuff. I like alpaca, cashmere, and luxury fibres, but will knit happily with almost anything that isn’t bulky, boucle, or squeaky/scratchy. I’d love to knit with cobweb or Shetland fine yarn, but I’m not sure if I’m good enough to try yet, since the patterns I’d try are the kinds that are annotated “Mary So-and-So took three years to spin the yarn for this shawl, and another five years to knit it up. She’d been knitting lace for forty years when she started, and still regards this shawl as her greatest achievement.” Me? Overachiever? Well, maybe.

14. What fibers do you absolutely *not* like?

See above. Scratchy, squeaky, bumpy, rough.

15. What is/are your current knitting obsession/s?

Knitted toys. Lace. Finishing something.

16. What is/are your favorite item/s to knit?
Lace, sweaters, shawls, hats, anything but socks, which for some reason fly across rooms and hit walls every single time I work on them.

17. What are you knitting right now?

Three socks – any of which will be “my first sock” when it’s done, a shawl, a sweater, a thrummed earband, 9 baby blankets, and a teddy bear.

18. What do you think about ponchos?

I love them, but I’m very plus-sized, so they tend to be given away when they make me look like a modern dancer who couldn’t quite squeeze all the way into the body bag.

19. Do you prefer straight or circular needles?

Either, depending on the project. I’ve been using a lot of circulars recently.

20. Bamboo, aluminum, plastic?

Bamboo.

21. Are you a sock knitter?

Ummm…no. Not yet. I mean, I feel all in the minority, but I just can’t seem to finish them.

22. How did you learn to knit?

Well, my mom taught me, and I promptly forgot, having gotten frustrated that I couldn’t purl. Repeat process six more times from ages 6 to 17. In university, a schoolmate taught me to knit again, but again, no one could teach me to purl. A year ago at 28, I committed myself to teaching an entire class of kids to knit (so that I wouldn’t have to teach them to use the sewing machines…I HATE sewing, and the machines were 40+ years old and 9 different models). Overnight, I relearned knitting. Three days later, I taught myself to purl with some hep (read “Why can’t you do this? OH, you need to HEAR the instructions not see them performed”) from my wife, who I’D taught to knit a few days before.

23. How old is your oldest UFO?

Ummm…about 1 year.

24. What is your favorite animated character or a favorite animal/bird?

Raccons, otters, robins, unicorns, and Eben and Snooch, the webcomic cats from TwoLumps. And Xena. Not animated, but artificial enough to count.

25. What is your favorite holiday?

Canada Day because of the beautiful fireworks. Hallowe’en for the fun, costumes, and candy. Beltaine (May Day) for the fire, drumming, and dancing.

26. Is there anything that you collect?

Dust? Other than that: books, yarn, and pretty semi-precious rocks (amber/amethyst/etc) in their raw form.

27. What knitting magazine subscriptions do you have?

None. I buy Interweave Knits from Chapters on occasion.

28. Any books out there you are dying to get your hands on?

Well, the whole sci-fi, fantasy, comparative religions, and knitting sections of Chapters. I love cooking too, and especially bread baking. I’m always trying new types of food.

ROAK'D!

2005-05-23T13:18:00.000-04:00

Hello fearless readers,

Sorry for the lag time in posting. I was involved in the school play, and ended up spending a lot of time memorizing lines, and even *gasp* rehearsing. One of our super-fantastic Drama teachers (a playwright in his own right) put on Up The Down Staircase. In it were parts for a number of teachers, including yours truly. I got to play Ella, a Guidance counsellor who believes passionately in Personality Profiles, and very little in anything else.

The play was fun, but exhausting. I had only a bit part - I can't imagine how the director felt. Poor man was likley tired nigh unto death. As a result of the tiredness, I hadn't posted. This is the May Two-Four weekend, for those of you not Canadian, "The twenty-fourth of May is the Queen's Birthday. If we don't get a holiday we'll all run away" - we celebrate the birthday of Queen Victoria - may she rest in peace- with...well..mostly beer and fireworks and a long weekend. I thought I'd relax and start posting again on Tuesday.

However, I was RAOK'd (random act of kindness'd) by Maryellen at Garrison's Garret . She sent me an adorable card with a cat on a green background, and a nifty piece of origami. She also mentioned that she was afraid that the kids with faces covered at my school were participating in a new teen trend. Then she looked at the pictures and realized how many of my students are Muslim.

But that got me thinking: 1)What crazy trends did you participate in as a teen? 2)What trends do you see happening around you, and how crazy do you think they'll become? 3)What imaginary trend, made up by you, can you convince at least one other person to try (and be photographed doing)?

Best answers to each question (most creative, most fun, most logical, best picture posted on your blog as proof) will receive a small prize from yours truly. You may enter in each category, but please explain clearly what your intended category is.

I'm going to wander off and start thinking of neat prizes.

Hmm...So I CAN do it

2005-05-09T11:42:00.000-04:00

Just walked 5.2 km in 70 minutes. For those of you who are not metric, that's about 2.67 miles an hour. Not too shabby, if I do say so myself. I think I'd like to finish the race in under an hour. That seems do-able without being too high.

Baby blanket number one is 2/3 finished, coming up quickly on 3/4. I like big needles and yarn.

You Spin Me Right Round (or, i'm not at the Maryland Thingy Either, but I Don't Mind)

2005-05-07T21:37:00.000-04:00

Yay! Today I finally learned how to use my spinning wheel. With the extensive aid of the kindly and proficient Elizabeth Watt, I learned to spin.

Nope, you can't see pictures; the camera is at school. however, I will tell you that I love love love my Louet. Elizabeth was wise and made sure that our spinning class had the opportunity to try different wheels than our own. After trying a few double treadles, and a castle wheel, I returned gratefully to my own.

I must admit to being a little wistful that the Sleeping Beauty style wheel didn't feel as good as it looked, but at least I don't have to buy one now. Well, maybe not. I think. It really depends on what my dear wife decides SHE enjoys spinning on. Oh, yes, and on us getting a house.

We're coming to the conclusion that it's about a year before we can truly afford a decent house. That's another year of a one bedroom, quite small, apartment containing a yarn stash, a cat, a 36 inch Leclerc floor loom, and a spinning wheel. *grin* We're cozy and warm all the way through winter.

Before I continue, thank you for kind comments and emails. That grotty day was cheered immensely by your words, EVERYONE'S words, not just Stephanie's. Although I was tickled pink to get an email from Dear Wife saying "Harlot reads YOU", I was equally tickled that Elizabeth, the lovely spinning teacher lady (who wore her Yarn-A-Go-Go shirt today), and "dyke", whose Downward Facing Life I read religiously, and Sara, who I think is in Great Britain and whose life makes me put everything in perspective, also commented. Hmmmm...and the English teacher writes yet another run on sentence. Ah well, it's true.

In other news, I've almost finished the first of 9 baby blankets. Yep. Nine. Why nine you ask? Well, because that's how many people at work are having, or have had in the last two months, new babies.

As for the walking/running. I can walk 5km. I can't run. Not at all. So, having accepted this, I'm going to aim for being able to walk the 5km fast this time, and register for one in fall to run. I'm not giving up. If Terry Fox can run a marathon a day on one leg, I can get off m'arse and walk. (great pep talk, eh? note the lack of off-arsedness? Shhhhh)

So happy cheerful me is back, on top of life again, and signing off to tackle the mountain of dishes that occurred when our apartment's water supply was suddenly non-existent. We have water, and spinning, and knitting, and life is good good good.

May you all be well.

2005-05-07T21:35:00.000-04:00

Bride and Groom, meet destiny in the form of a slightly befuddled Anglican minister.

2005-05-07T21:34:00.000-04:00

The most gorgeous smile in the world belonged to Tammy on her wedding day. (please note, ONLY that day. The rest of the time MY wife's smile is nicer, but last Saturday, the angels themselves looked rather shabby)