tag:typepad.com,2003:weblog-1530598 2010-03-07T12:19:53-05:00 Because my word is gospel truth. TypePad tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00e54fc5d08288340120a90fb3b2970b 2010-03-07T12:19:53-05:00 2010-03-07T14:16:22-05:00

Here we go foolz! Gay Super Bowl Sunday has arrived! Check back starting around 6:00 PM EST for entirely too much deconstruction of this most holy events on this most holy of days. 9:53 PM Okay, packing it in, blog-wise....<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheGospelAccordingToJohn/~4/c_8oSSIQIww" height="1" width="1"/>

John the Craptist http://thegospelaccordingtojohn.typepad.com/tga2j/2010/03/oscars-oscars-oscars-oscars-oscars-oscars-oscars-live-blog-squee.html tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00e54fc5d082883401310f6a6886970c 2010-03-05T14:11:44-05:00 2010-03-05T14:11:45-05:00

So you've got all the important interesting easiest categories on your ballot filled out. But now what? In a race as stultifyingly sewn-up as this one, how do you actually win the pot of money that annoying receptionist who dots...<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheGospelAccordingToJohn/~4/_J5xednPsk0" height="1" width="1"/>

John the Craptist http://thegospelaccordingtojohn.typepad.com/tga2j/2010/03/should-winwill-win-everything-else-edition.html tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00e54fc5d082883401310f62cac0970c 2010-03-04T17:35:04-05:00 2010-03-04T17:35:04-05:00

And the nominees are: Whatever Slouching Black Kid, Stooping Matron: The Michael Oher Story Aliens and Apartheid WHY ARE YOU READING THIS INSTEAD OF SEEING THIS MOVIE Disarming Bombs Is Hard Turns Out Diane Kruger Isn't Nearly As Bland As...<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheGospelAccordingToJohn/~4/JN2_AnPquT0" height="1" width="1"/>

John the Craptist http://thegospelaccordingtojohn.typepad.com/tga2j/2010/03/should-winwill-win-best-picture-edition.html tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00e54fc5d08288340120a8fc58cd970b 2010-03-04T17:32:02-05:00 2010-03-04T17:32:02-05:00

And the nominees for Best Original Screenplay Are: And the nominees for Best Adapted Screenplay Are: And the Oscars should go to... ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY SHOULD WIN: Full disclosure: I haven't seen The Messenger What a choice this is to make....<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheGospelAccordingToJohn/~4/ZiR3WztWgw8" height="1" width="1"/>

John the Craptist http://thegospelaccordingtojohn.typepad.com/tga2j/2010/03/should-winwill-win-screenplay-edition.html tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00e54fc5d08288340120a8fbeb9f970b 2010-03-04T15:33:37-05:00 2010-03-05T10:36:46-05:00

[UPDATED March 5, 2009] NOTE: I may update this post after seeing Avatar this afternoon. I doubt it, but maybe. And the historic ex-husband/wife deathmatch nominees are: Kathryn Bigelow for Watch My Movie, Then Read What My Budget Was. I...<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheGospelAccordingToJohn/~4/ADPnimKympE" height="1" width="1"/>

John the Craptist http://thegospelaccordingtojohn.typepad.com/tga2j/2010/03/should-winwill-win-director-edition.html tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00e54fc5d082883401310f510e9b970c 2010-03-04T13:44:03-05:00 2010-03-04T13:44:04-05:00

And the nominees are: Kenny Rogers in Whatever Happened to Kenny Rogers Roasters? Cary Grant in Dear God, I Will Serve You Until Death if You Promise to Keep Me From Ever Again Having to Listen to that Self-Serious Bloviator...<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheGospelAccordingToJohn/~4/SukXyECQwJQ" height="1" width="1"/>

John the Craptist http://thegospelaccordingtojohn.typepad.com/tga2j/2010/03/should-winwill-win-best-actor-edition.html tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00e54fc5d08288340120a8ea2560970b 2010-03-02T19:16:30-05:00 2010-03-02T19:16:31-05:00

And the nominees are: Sandra Bullock in A Dior Sunglasses Ad from the September 1992 Issue of Town &amp; Country Dame Helen of Mirren in Helen Get Your Gun Carey Mulligan in SERIOUSLY STOP READING THIS AND GO SEE THIS...<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheGospelAccordingToJohn/~4/f1v0C4lOVLI" height="1" width="1"/>

John the Craptist http://thegospelaccordingtojohn.typepad.com/tga2j/2010/03/should-winwill-win-best-actress-edition.html tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00e54fc5d082883401310f50d5f4970c 2010-03-02T18:09:35-05:00 2010-03-02T18:14:26-05:00

And the nominees are: Maaaaaaatt Daaaaaamon in This Movie Was Criminally Boring So Let's Look at This Photo of Matt Damon as That Tortured Gay Closeted Quarterback You Were In Love With in High School Some Crazy Dude About to...<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheGospelAccordingToJohn/~4/h65TiiAEJn4" height="1" width="1"/>

John the Craptist http://thegospelaccordingtojohn.typepad.com/tga2j/2010/03/should-winwill-win-best-supporting-actor-edition.html tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00e54fc5d08288340120a8e9d02b970b 2010-03-02T17:17:41-05:00 2010-03-02T18:15:35-05:00

And the nominees are: Penelope Cruz in Marion Cotillard Should Be Here in My Place Vera Farmiga in I Was a Robot Businesswoman Maggie Gyllenhaal in The Fact That There Are No Stills of Me From This Film And We've...<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheGospelAccordingToJohn/~4/xYN7oxRhToc" height="1" width="1"/>

John the Craptist http://thegospelaccordingtojohn.typepad.com/tga2j/2010/03/should-winwill-win-best-supporting-actress-edition.html tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00e54fc5d082883401310f540c00970c 2010-03-02T15:18:36-05:00 2010-03-05T14:29:45-05:00

(Still the world's most disturbing photo, as it is like Oscars + zombies + mummies + that weird Chinese terra cotta army thing + the end of E.T. when everything's shrouded in plastic and scary Peter Coyote breaks into the...<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheGospelAccordingToJohn/~4/UjtS6DAehrE" height="1" width="1"/>

John the Craptist http://thegospelaccordingtojohn.typepad.com/tga2j/2010/03/third-annual-academy-awards-overanalyzation.html