The Gospel (According to ME)

A long Read--I've not been well, but I'm getting better!

2011-12-15T16:54:00.001-05:00

Dear Friends, I’ve been a bit withdrawn and anxious of late—subdued even. Let me share what’s been going on.

First, it seems things are either ok or going to be ok, so I’m going to relax!

The last year has been challenging for me for many reasons. I’ve been overly stressed at work—that’s no surprise—even serving the best church ever, it’s stressful to be a pastor—period. Andrea and I have been particularly busy this year with work, boards, and kids, more so than usual and that has added stress.

But also, I’ve been having health issues—serious health issues it seemed. I wanted to share with you now what all has been going on and ask for your continued prayers for healing and health.

In February of this year, I decided to get healthy! I had a list of things to start doing or stop doing within one year—all focused on being healthier and taking better care of myself. I went to the doctor and weighed in at 257lbs—an all-time high for me. I said something to the doctor along the lines of, “Can’t you just give me a pill or a shot?” She immediately said no, she’s not that kind of doctor, but then she got a quizzical look about her and said, “Wait, you actually fit a profile that might allow you to take a medication for your appetite—hang on.” She checked and indeed I fit the parameters for something called Metabolic X (it means I’m fat and in danger of getting diabetes and other bad stuff, lol). She put me on Victoza—a synthetic insulin taken by once a day injections.

I didn’t tolerate it well—at all. About every 3 weeks I got sick—really nasty, ugly kinda sick for about 24 hours each time, mostly diarrhea but sometimes throwing up, too. When I went back in April, I told the doctor about it and she said it wasn’t the drug, it was my gall bladder. I went for an ultrasound and the results were negative but I did show signs of a fatty liver. Back to the medicine. By two weeks later, I was in the hospital on Mothers’ Day. I had pleurisy and very low potassium. By the end of May, my triglycerides, cholesterol and blood sugar were all off. Medication seemed to have no effect or I couldn’t tolerate the medicine. I was losing weight slowly, my appetite was down, but it seemed I was falling apart.

Diet and exercise seemed to have zero effect on my blood sugar which was my own biggest worry. My numbers weren’t outrageous, but they were high, especially in the morning. I was having readings in the 110’s. In October, the doctor put me on Metformin for my blood sugar. That coincidentally was the same time I had my worst ever reaction to the Victoza and declared to God and everyone I was never taking it ever again. The Metformin didn’t go well. Instead of being sick every few weeks like I had been on the Victoza, I was sick every day—and the diarrhea was not normal. I was showing serious signs of fat malabsorption –it appeared to me I had something wrong with my pancreas, liver, gall bladder, intestines, SOMETHING was NOT right. To make matters worse, the Metformin did nothing for my blood sugar levels.

I started losing weight in a not-so-good manner, easily fatigued, and it seemed ANY food messed up my stomach. I developed a worsened lactose intolerance and seemed to react anytime I ate anything with gluten.

I finally had enough of the Metformin—not sure how long I was on it, but about 6 weeks. I researched online and discovered some GNC Super Digestive Enzymes and made a decision. No more Metformin. I started taking the Enzymes with meals as well as some additional Papaya Enzymes after meals. Within a couple days I saw my first super good readings of sugar and found I could eat better, but still not good and the benefits were short lived. I was still getting worse!

A couple weeks later, the Saturday after Thanksgiving, I took the kids to my moms. We went shopping and the kids wanted Burger King. I did something stupid. I ate a whole order of French Fries. MISTAKE. I also had no Enzymes with me. I got sick—really sick again for about 2 days. The following Monday, November 28, I was convinced something more serious must be wrong. I worked myself into the doctor’s office. She agreed that we needed to look further seeing my weight loss. She said also she was ordering these tests to give me peace of mind, but it “felt” as if there was slightly more to it.

That day I took a complete blood check and sprue panel, along with a quickie office urine test. All came back normal except my IGA was a bit low, still normal, but low. White count and red count fine—no sign of puss or blood in my urine. All good news.

I learned at this time that halfway through the time I was taking Victoza, the FDA had issued an alert that it was being linked to severe digestive problems, thyroid cancer AND Chronic Pancreatitis. Yes, Doc—it WAS the drug!

On Dec 1, I had a complete abdominal and pelvic CT with contrast. They showed some signs of aging, some signs of not taking care of myself well, but the only issue of concern that showed up there was microscopic nodules in the adrenal gland of my right kidney. These are common and almost always benign, but we need to follow up on them in about 3 months. In addition, my doctor said she wanted to be “super diligent” and ordered some other tests to rule out certain nasty things that can be related to having those nodules. She ordered a 24 hour urine test (oh joy) and a chest X-Ray “just to be sure.”

Friday, December 2 was an awful day. I went early in the morning for an XRAY at the hospital. It went smoothly and quickly. The tech told me I would hear something Monday. I left there and went to the Food Lion. While there I got a call telling me I needed to come back and get a Full chest CT. There were “shadows” on my lungs, nodules it appeared that needed a further look, especially a large one on my right lung base.

I must admit I was devastated. I couldn’t imagine how “shadows” and unexplained “nodules” could turn out to be good news. I admit it, I googled it. Nodules in the adrenal glands can sometimes be from small cell lung cancer—that would be the worst lung cancer, spreads rapidly, doesn’t respond to treatment well at all, very small one year and five year survival rates. They called and told me to be at the hospital at 7:30 that night for the CT, my second in two days. Andrea and I were supposed to be at a dinner for her church. I told her to go, I was just getting the scan, wouldn’t hear until Monday. I drove around and found some perfect peace—assurance that God was with me. I was almost angry when I realized that I had not felt that closeness in a long time—why now?

After the CT, the tech told me to go wait in the lobby. They would read it, call my doctor and come talk to me. What?! I was alone. I called Andrea and she began the drive from Denver, NC to Concord, trying to be there for the results. The urgency scared me even more. Andrea said to call me when they talked to me so she could hear what they said on speaker phone. I never got the chance. The receptionists came across the room holding the phone. Mr Conder? It’s your doctor. No time to call Andrea, no time to do anything but answer. As it turned out, it was the other doctor in the firm, who had no idea why I was there. He said, “Tommy, everything is basically normal, why are you there? Is everything ok?” I was dumbfuddled. Why is he asking ME? I said, look I had some issues with a chest xray, what do you mean basically? He said something about a bone island and artifacts and all looked ok. I said, “look, I need you to be clear. Am I ok?” Yes, you’re fine. Shouldn’t even need any follow up but I will read the full report on Monday.

Whew. It was over. I walked around the hospital until I arrived at the chapel and spent some time alone before driving to meet my wife. She was my rock! Andrea and I quietly hugged and smiled and moved on to the next issue(s). I was still sick, unable to digest, with new allergies to old foods and problems with diarrhea and fatigue.

Along the way, I had started (per doctor) taking probiotics and a good vitamin to help with nutrition. She also tried to switch me to a powerful medical level enzymes. Those enzymes made me sick as a dog! Back to the over the counter stuff.

The results finally of the last tests were that the 24 hour urine test was normal; the test for celiac disease was negative, and unbelievably for me, the pancreatic function test was normal. In essence, there is nothing wrong with my pancreas as I long suspected…..so…hmmm.

I talked to a “friend of a friend” (who shall remain nameless) who is also a medical doctor, just to make me feel better. In that conversation, I did feel better. I also decided on my own based on that conversation to start taking Immodium every day as I learned it is the common cure for colitis. Colitis is a condition where the bowels (either small or large intestines) are so inflamed, they can’t function right until they heal.

The stress over all the medial tests has aggravated my stomach acid and heartburn and reflux. I moved about 3 weeks ago to taking Prilosec twice a day instead of once. The doc decided last week to move me from Prilosec to Pepcid. I tried it for five days and my indigestion and heartburn got severely worse—back to the Prilosec for now.

Interestingly, since going on the Immodium, my sugar is close to normal now and improving literally DAILY. After meals, its been normal for some time and now in the mornings, I’ve gone from 120 to mid 90’s. I’m getting almost enough to eat to keep up my energy, but still need to take a couple hours each afternoon to relax and take a 10 minute nap. I’m sleeping more than ever at night—going to bed sometimes 2 hours earlier than before. I’ve discovered new foods and forcing myself to eat more small meals. Eating low fat, no gluten, watch the carbs, no lactose, and balancing how much of the enzymes I need has been a challenge. Food can be boring after a while but I won’t complain if I can get my energy and health back! I still cling to my daily breakfast out with my newspaper (2 eggs scrambled very well, 3 slices crisp bacon, and plain grits), which ironically is the meal that has zero negative effects on my sugar or my digestion, lol! It’s the healthy stuff that is causing trouble!

I decided to go to a GI doc and that appointment was today. It went well (didn’t particularly care for him, but he seems to be a good doc and came recommended). He suggested that the current course I am on is working as I am getting better slowly. He said he sees no sign of urgency but does believe we need to be certain there are no additional bowel diseases and so in February, we will schedule an endoscopy and a colonoscopy at the same time.

Long and short of it, it appears that stress, combined with very negative reactions to a couple drugs, then compounded by further stress over the medical tests and being sick, has made me—well—SICK. I have great confidence that all is leading in the right direction. I will continue to eat better, think positively, and seek wholeness and wellness.

My wife and church have been awesome during this, but some of you have not known why I have not been as active, or available or present, or writing in my blog (lol, even not as active in Cityville). Truth is, I’m just exhausted. Taking care of myself has become a full time job. But By God I am making progress. It’s been an interesting 10 months. I have 2 months left of “let’s get healthier” year. I’ve lost 46 lbs officially just not in any way I’d recommend. My eating habits are far better and getting better. I’ve learned so much. The costs of these medical tests will be overwhelming I’m sure, and dear God forgive me, but I’m stressed over that! I do try to think positively, how great it is to know so much that COULD be wrong—and yet none of it is. A true blessing to be able to find all that out during middle age.

I'll be back to full throttle soon, even with my blog, so be patient with me!

I thank God for friends and family (again my wife especially) who have picked up the pieces that I’ve left behind and thank you for loving me and praying for me. Day by day….And while I won’t become one of those who preaches about it to you, let me say this at least once: Take care of your health. You have one life to live—do it right!

I thank God for being with me. I have a Renewal Leave scheduled for January and intended to spend much time realigning my relationship with God. I’ve now done some of that work early. God has been with me—I know it—I feel it I’ve felt every prayer lifted up for me as I’ve gone down this road. Emmanuel God with Us.

Peace and Merry Christmas to you!

Help our cause to help the world and turn a blind eye to racism? Sexism? other isms?

2011-11-09T13:04:00.002-05:00

A proposed scenario Imagine if you will:

My secretary tells me there is a man downstairs who is from Worldwide Gospel Ministries who wants to see me.

I go downstairs and the man says, "We're visiting local churches who have not had one of our speakers here in a while and would like to set a schedule where we can come talk to you."

ME: "Hmm, we're not interested right now."

Man in suit: "What about the Spring"

ME: "No. We're not interested right now.'

Man in Suit: "So you just don't support the WGM?

ME: "No. I think you guys do good work, really I do, but it is my understanding that African Americans are not allowed to be speakers in your organization. Is this not still true?"

Uncomfortable, slightly angry man in suit: "Well no, that is NOT true. We have a Black Auxillary and Blacks can speak there to other blacks."

ME: "No, that is not sufficient. While I do support your cause. I cannot in good conscience, support your organization under those terms. It goes against who I am, what I believe, and what WE as a denomination believe."

Indignant man in suit: "Well, don't you care that through our ministry, thousands of people are able to read the Gospel who would not have been able to without us?" "Is that not important enough to overlook this one area we disagree on--for the sake of the Gospel?"

ME: "Yes, it is important--I wish you well and thank God for the people reached, but if I support your organization, I will be complicit in institutional racism and I simply couldn't live with myself if I did that. We will find another way to help spread the Gospel to the world. But let me know if that ever changes. Good day, I really need to get back to work."

Man in suit with smug superiority like look on his face shakes my hand and walks out the door.

Now, listen folks. WHAT was I to do? What would YOU think of me if I dared to support such an organization? I have struggled with this issue for years with them--I LOVE what they do, but really? I have friends, some of them good friends, who are members, speakers in this organization who are wonderful, God fearing men--but really I can't support them actively any longer. It sends the wrong message.

Oh, but wait, Truth Time. It wasn't the WGM, it was the Gideons. And it wasn't blacks they limit speaking opportunities for, it was women. This goes against our polity, our doctrine, and our theology as United Methodists. No matter how much it pains me, no matter how much I LOVE what they do--I just cannot in good conscience support them by allowing them to speak in my pulpit. It is institutionalized sexism. We don't stand for that--I don't stand for that.

Should I support an organization that does good work, but doesn't allow blacks to serve in the most "out front" position? Am I against the spread of the Gospel if I don't?

Should I support an organization that does good work, but doesn't allow women to serve in the most "out front" position? Am I against the spread of the Gospel if I don't?

Look, I'm sorry. I support WHAT you do, but I can no longer support your organization. Please love me anyway.

And sadly, there are more "should I" questions in the same line of thinking here, but that is for another post altogether. We're not done growing now, even if sticking to our doctrine and theology, we might have some other isms we need to deal with

And that is the Gospel (According to me anyway)

God is turning his back on America? Why now?

2011-06-25T16:08:00.002-04:00

Amazing things show up in Social Networking theology. Some use their pages to ask thoughtful questions seeking genuine dialogue on theological or biblical interpretation topics--hooray for them! Sometimes there are theological statements that make me cringe but I remain silent as even flawed theology may be bringing someone some form of comfort (ie: God took your child because God wanted a beautiful young rose bud for God's garden). But then there are times that I see not only illogical and questionable, but mean spirited theological statements and by God it's time I spoke up--I've remained silent on some things for far too long. Some time ago, I wrote of "coming out of the closet" as a gay rights supporter. I never even finished the series I got so flustered at some of the responses I got (don't go looking, they were deleted or they were not posted publicly.)

Yesterday New York voted to approve same-sex marriages. And the flood began. blogs, tweets, and posts, some supportive of the law, some decrying the terrible day. NOTE: This is not a post about church sanctioned same sex marriage--that's for another day. Instead, keeping it to be about the New York Law, this is about Christian reaction to same sex civil liberties such as the right to the same benefits offered heterosexual couples.

The posts (more than one) that got my attention all said something about the fear that God will "turn his back on our country" or words to that effect. Tammy Fay Bakker (in what were admittedly trying years for her) said that the damage brought by Hurricane Hugo were a result of God's dissatisfaction with the city of Charlotte, NC (my home at the time) because her husband Jim was on trial. Tammy, I believe came a long way in her theology after that, but that same sentiment persists. The same cries were offered by religious leaders after Hurricane Katrina wiped New Orleans off the map. Such a notion of course, has little to do with logic or history or good theology and more to do with judging instead of offering Christian empathy, love, and support. It is a terrible perch to place oneself on as one day tragedy will come to each of us and the only logical explanation will be that God is punishing us for some misdeed or another.

America is still I believe the greatest country on earth and I am a patriot through and through. But we have many things in our past to be ashamed of. Slavery and racial oppression helped build this country. Mass genocide and forced exodus of Native Americans gave us our land that we call the home of the brave and the land of the free, and yet we prospered through that. Surely, given the theology of God is turning his back on us for homosexual persons being allowed to marry would mean that this same God would have thrown us to the wolves two to three hundred years ago and many many times since.

Surely the poverty of our own starving population, the millions who live on the street as the rest of us live in abundance would bring God's swift penalty for those reasons, but no outcry there. Surely for those who seem to decry the advancement of civil rights for an oppressed minority, their fear of judgment should be consistent (AT LEAST FOR THEIR OWN NARROW AND LITERAL READING OF SCRIPTURE). Yet, I have seen no outcry of fear of God's punishment as they or their straight children or straight neighbors lay in their beds with one who is not their spouse each night. Where is the outcry in these areas? No outcry of fear over cheating on taxes or gossip. No prophecy of doom over divorce. I ate shrimp and grits the other night--a southern delicacy, but an abomination in the same literal reading of scripture, yet no one has told me that I am bringing God's judgment on our country.

No, I don't think we need worry about God turning God's back on us because New York has said that all of their people should have the same rights--I wouldn't even begin to sound the trumpets on this issue when we have prospered through so many sinful times in our past. God loves us--warts and all.

So how are we to react as Christians to the news out of New York? We should be celebrating! Jesus called us to go to the least, the last, and the lost. Jesus was anti-religious establishment--always condemning the religious leaders of his day. Jesus was anti-political establishment, always condemning the governments that showed favoritism and denied the rights of its citizens. Jesus was anti-social establishment, always condemning those who had privilege and failed to use their status to reach out to those on the margins of society. Jesus was a radical.

Following Jesus means that I am happy to see that at least some of our fellow citizens will no longer be denied rights simply because of their sexual orientation. We do not live in a theocratic society and condemn even the thought of a theocracy if it is Muslim. We should be just as concerned if the state we live in rules by religious law. I celebrate today as New York has moved our country one step closer to eliminating discrimination against my gay and lesbian fellow patriotic citizens of THE U.S.A. Today I am a New Yorker!

If Churches Were Diners

2011-05-31T09:24:00.001-04:00

I have a friend and fellow pastor named Bev. She's got a special talent for helping churches notice how first impressions can affect how guests feel when they walk in the door of your church for the very first time. I thought of her when this post was developing in my mind.

My wife and I decided today to go to a diner and have a rare during-the-week breakfast together. We have some good friends who told us about it, in fact they invited us to join them there sometime (the right way to tell someone about something new and get them to go), but we decided spur of the moment to go on our own. It's an interesting place in an interesting town called Enochville. Depending on how up to date your maps are, you might can find it on the map, but maybe not. I think the people there in some cases like their little spot on or off the map the way it is for the most part and just might not be interested in making it so that it is easy to find. The diner is in a store with a simple name that might not even let folks driving by know that there is a restaurant there at all. Like some churches, you have to find it by accident.

Parking was not marked and not easy. We weren't sure if we were parked in the wrong spot or not. We got out of our cars and a woman, probably a regular, was getting out of hers at the same time. She stood back politely to let us pass, but didn't acknowledge our presence otherwise. I said GOOD MORNING, she said morning, never making eye contact.

My wife said, "Is that the door we're supposed to go in?" "I don't know, never been here."
(by the way the above picture is NOT the place we were at, but it looked a lot like it except for the McDonald's reflection in the window!)

We entered the door and saw not a living soul. We were standing in what looked to be an old style grocery/convenience store. There was a register to the right, lots of racks of stuff to buy in front of us and a few booths to the left with no one in them. Next to them was an old style serving counter--could have been a butcher counter, ice cream, not sure--it was just there with no explanation, but seemed as if someone still worked there behind the counter--maybe, maybe not. Beyond that was a door. Through that door we saw 6 more tables, 4 empty--a gentleman seated by himself at one and a table of four. They all stopped to stare at us and not in that polite glancing way, either, lol. They didn't even offer that traditional southern nod and a smile as they averted their eyes (maybe because they didn't avert their eyes).

We were outsiders and we knew it. We found the menu on the table and suddenly there was a woman standing next to us wanting our drink order--there were no pleasantries exchanged. I wondered if she were busy, having a bad day, or merely an unhappy person but then she seemed to interact quite well with the other tables, just not ours.

When we placed our order, I told her I wanted my eggs so well done there were starting to turn brown. She laughed, scoffed more like it and didn't write that down I noticed. Still no pleasantries. Still getting stares from the other tables. Still not comfortable. Still outsiders.

A man soon appeared with our food and of course, the eggs weren't brown on my omelet. My wife said send it back. I said I'm scared to--not here.

The food was remarkably good, even the (for me) undercooked omelet--would have been better if someone had made it the way I ordered it, but overall, the food was excellent. Superb, in fact. And the price was unbeatable. We ordered full meals for each of us and the total bill was $9.68 plus tax--could be a great place to eat. No wonder our friends who live in this area recommend it.

As we were eating, I noticed things around us. A calendar on the wall--very folksy--the kind that has the individual blocks for the dates and month and you move them around to make the current month. It was on April, 2011. Today is the last day of May. A sign on the table said, "NEW HOURS M-F 8 AM TO 6 PM MON THRU SAT" while a newer looking sign on the wall said, "NEW STORE HOURS 8 TO 6:30." Security cameras were in the corner, but one of them looked to be older than I am--not sure if either of them were real.

The server brought us refills on drinks, but never asked about the food that I can recall and still other than business stuff, no one spoke to us--no one. When it was time to leave, we didn't know the routine. The server was out of sight, we had a ticket for the meal--there was that old serving counter just around the corner, maybe we were to pay there? Or maybe we were to go to the cash register for the convenience/grocery part of the store???

I didn't want anyone to think we had run out without paying, so I stood at the table while my wife went to that register out in the main room--there was no one there. The people (now with four more added) were staring at us, surely some knew what we were trying to figure out, but no one spoke--they just stared. The server poked her head around the wall and saw me standing there. I opened my mouth to speak to her, but she dipped back behind the wall. I motioned to my wife, now some 75 feet away with a question...she shrugged. Still no one to help us stop looking like idiots. Finally, the wife motioned to me. She was in the right place.

We left, still no one acknowledging our presence--no one thanked us for coming. I'll bet they breathed a sigh of relief and went home to tell their kids of the strangers that came to town today. Great food--great menu--great prices...But do I want to go back?

I wish we could all step back and see our churches for the first time again--with the eyes of a guest who has never been there. Can people find us--do they know we exist? What do the signs on the walls say to guests? Do we stare or say hello? Do we help with their confusion or silently watch them struggle to figure it out? Do we show interest in them or discomfort at their being there? If churches were diners, are we for the locals only or are we expecting guests?

If Churches were Diners...would people be able to--would they want to--know what we serve on our menu--the bread of life and living water--or would they simply feel uncomfortable and move on?

And that's the Gospel (According to ME).

Friends are God's gift to the sick at heart.

2011-05-25T21:11:00.000-04:00

The Mission Statement of the church I pastor: North Kannapolis United Methodist Church

Our Mission

To be a Community of Grace
Following Jesus Christ
A Warm Welcoming place
A Life Changing place
A Healing place
A place where God's Love is Real

Sometimes I write because I just need to. I am thankful today for people that love me and put up with me and care about what I'm feeling.

I am grateful for an old friend who met me for breakfast and let me bitch and moan a bit, supporting me and lifting me up.

I am grateful for those who take their theology and doctrine so seriously that they are genuinely concerned about getting it wrong--too concerned in my mind, but grateful nonetheless.

I am grateful for a friend that lives a long way away, who I called today and unloaded on when things went south. Then she affirmed me and my feelings, giving sage advice and offering words that lifted me up.

I'm grateful for a church member who sent me a message telling me he was praying for me and that I have his full support--always. When he couldn't come see me tonight at church, he sent a hug through his son, who I am also grateful for, who told ME I could call him anytime I wanted to talk--how refreshing!

I am grateful for church members who work hard to support the church, tirelessly giving of themselves in a genuinely sacrificial manner--making me feel like it is actually worth it--telling me that I do make a difference and sometimes I need to hear it!

I am grateful for a choir director that is as passionate about spreading the gospel and loving the unlovable as I am, who also works tirelessly for the Kingdom, caring about the future of our church.

I am grateful for a choir that stops and prays for their pastor, understanding when I am not 100% up to the task, sharing their wonderful gifts and talents to make sure the rest of us can worship more freely.

I am grateful that my church is a healing place, even for the pastor when needed.

I am grateful for my children, who love their daddy, even when he is not the best daddy.

I am so thankful for my wife, who listens and supports me, encouraging me, uplifting me, stroking my ego when I need it, understanding my frustrations and pain that comes in our line of "work." She puts up with a lot married to me and I don't deserve it, but still she does it. I am grateful for our nearly 10 years of marriage and the work she puts into our marriage.

I am grateful for a God who shows us how to love even the unlovable by loving me in spite of myself.

I am tired. I am burned out. I am frustrated. I am sad. I am full of doubt. I am a sinner. I am tired, but mostly...I am grateful.

Thank you all. Really. Thanks for being there and holding me up when I can't do it for myself.

Let's move forward. Let's do what we do best. Let's BE the hands of Jesus and offering healing through friendship--Let each of us BE a healing place for someone else today.

So now I feel guilty. What should I do?

2011-05-21T20:28:00.005-04:00

Matthew 25: ⁴¹ “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. ⁴² For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, ⁴³ I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

⁴⁴ “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’

⁴⁵ “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

⁴⁶ “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”

Psalm 127: 3 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
the fruit of the womb a reward.

It started in the last couple days. Three men that were "sent" to my door to ask for money.

I'm going to be as transparent and open and honest as I can be. Living in a parsonage next door to the church, especially when the two buildings are made of the same quarried stone, especially when the only way into our driveway is off the parking lot--in other words, there is no mistaking this is the church's property and likely that the pastor lives here--well, living here can suck at times.

I am a private person, almost introverted. I don't like company much even when I know them. I don't like strangers knocking on my door anyway, but knowing that they have a hard knock story and are asking for money makes it even harder. Every ounce of my being wants to help, it's what we are called to do and who knows--remember that Scripture in Hebrews about entertaining angels unaware--be nice to the stranger!

But I am also a father, the protector of my family and of my home. I can't stop filling those roles just because I also am the pastor.

Two days ago, a man showed up at the front door. I was home alone. He asked politely if I was the pastor, told me he was sent to my house by a particular group to ask me for money--well meaning, they did nothing wrong. He was polite as I explained that the church has been hit by the economy and we simply don't have the money for individuals; instead we give money to the two county agencies that help people in need. I told him where they were and he thanked me and left.

Then yesterday, same thing happened. This man was not as polite. After asking if I was the pastor and telling me someone from the same group had sent him, he asked for money for a train ticket to Greensboro to see a doctor. Said he had to go today and the train was the only way to get there on time. I told him the same thing I had told the other man and he was angry. He stormed off while I was talking muttering to himself.

Later in the same day, the kids were home in the Den--I was in the Bedroom. The doorbell rang repeatedly in rapid fire and someone started beating on the door. The kids came running, describing a man at the front door. By the time I got there, there was no one there. I looked out the side window and saw a man rounding the corner of the church walking away. The kids said that was him. Last evening, I saw the man hanging around my driveway--made me nervous, but again, he walked away.

Tonight, while the kids were taking their bath and shower, the doorbell rang again, same rapid fire, same pounding on the door. I was sitting 2 feet from the front door and no one was there when I got there. Then the doorbell rang again--ah, the back door? Yes, the same man had come into my gated yard and was standing on my back porch. I opened the wood door, talking through the glass storm door, but he opened the door and tried to come into my house. I blocked his entry and went out to the porch, kicking myself that I didn't have my phone.

He told me the same folks had sent him to me and wanted to know if I was the preacher. He said: "The lady told me you would give me money for my drugs." (not a good start all the way around). Then he pulled an empty prescription bottle out of his pocket and a card. The sun was in my eyes and I'm older now, so I moved around without thinking and tried to see what he was showing me--some sort of proof he is a veteran.

He told me he needed money for drugs for his back and had none. He reeked of alcohol, but by now, I had no real compassion; I wanted him to leave. I explained the same thing to him, plus suggesting he go to the VA hospital, talk to Wal-Mart--some drug companies help when people need it to pay for their meds. He was angry and began to fuss at me, telling me he hoped I needed his help one day--why wouldn't I give him my own money he demanded! Frankly, we give all we can give--the well is beyond dry! I'm sorry I said--I can't help you. He was now standing between me and the door and I told him I needed to go back in. He left, but he was still angry and fussing at me about not being a real Christian.

Now Thursday, we wouldn't let the kids play outside, nor Friday, nor today--not fair to them. I'm uncomfortable going to the garage even and hate that the front door has no curtain on it. I feel vulnerable and am concerned about my kids. I don't want them to come here. Come to the church, yes--I'll be glad to deal with them--it's my job--but can't I have peace in my own house? Is that too much to ask? Am I wrong for feeling I need to protect my children?

I have sent word to the group that was sending folks to my house. Again, they did nothing wrong, but I need them to send folks to the church, not my house. I informed the appropriate church leaders what was going on and carry my phone in my pocket even if I go to the garage. But have I sinned by not only turning individuals away, but by now closing the door to any and all who might come needing genuine help? Have I drawn a line in the sand that is not in keeping with my duty as a Christian--a pastor?

Am I wrong to lock the world out?

I don't like these questions. I don't like feeling this way. But I am not sure I will sleep well tonight--expecting the return of this man. My children didn't get a choice about their parents' calling. Doesn't my role as father trump this one part of my role as pastor?

Perplexed and saddened, seeking the gospel--even if just according to ME.

Pleasing God or pleasing people while preaching...

2011-05-21T12:15:00.011-04:00

Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ. Galatians 1:10 (NIV)

Oh dear.. Perhaps the worst insult a preacher can get--sometimes not intentional and often from a very honest heart, but nonetheless, insulting.

Recently, I had a one on one conversation with a delightful woman who has been having internal struggles with a three way conflict going on in her soul. She's read the Bible...She was raised to believe that Traditionally speaking, "the gays" should be told they're going to hell (just for their own good of course), and lastly, she has family who are living in openly gay or lesbian relationships and she finds herself wanting her family to be treated no differently than anybody else; she finds no justice whatsoever that the sin (in her mind) of homosexuality should be treated any differently than her own sins (which like my own, are legion). But, she attends a church where the preacher, while silent on the question of sinfulness of homosexual acts, preaches and practices an open and affirming approach to the GLBT community. Question she was struggling with: By merely attending this church, is she tacitly contributing to the eternal damnation of those who come and don't hear that "a man laying with a man is an abomination?"

Through tears, she wrestled with the collision between Scripture, Tradition, and Experience, trying to Reason it out in her mind (Good Methodists will notice the Quadrilateral there! and I didn't even have to lead her that direction!). In one of the comments she blurted out, insult, presumption, and the questioning of motives came into picture. Now, I had no problem with her excited utterance--it was honest, it was searching and there was no maliciousness in her mind at all...but still, she said it. "It just worries me that the preacher knows there are gay people listening and he just doesn't want to make them mad, so he never preaches on it."

Ah, there it is. I've received the same insult on more than one occasion an on more than one subject and in most of those, the insult was intentional and the judgment was clear. "Preacher, you are trying to gain the favor of man rather than God! What you say, therefore has no truth in it and you should be defrocked, drawn and quartered, and given a wedgie immediately in full view of all those present. You are leading your flock to hell."

Well, the root of this thought process is something that some people feel they have and thus it is their job to protect it and of course to beat people up with. They think they have a personal claim to ABSOLUTE TRUTH. There is but one way to interpret Scripture and if your way isn't their way, then not only are you wrong, but we must root out the evil motive behind your being wrong. You're not only wrong, but since the TRUTH is so apparent, you must be intentionally BEING wrong, and thus, a false prophet, a liar, the spawn of Satan, and you have a goal of trying to please people above pleasing God. Nuff said?

NOOOOO, it's not enough said, so I'll say this.

I can't speak for the preacher in question above, but I suspect he is a lot like me. When I have developed a life philosophy for the fair treatment of all God's children--through careful and diligent study of Scripture, through studying supplemental material, through meditation and most importantly through prayer and I KNOW it's going to make PEOPLE upset, but feel in my heart it will please God and then practice and preach it, it is the height of irony that I WILL hear that particular insult heaved my way. Trust me, it is NOT the path of least resistance!

Yes, I preach and practice the EQUAL treatment of those in the GLTB community as fully equal in the Body of Christ, and regardless of your view of the "sinfulness" of homosexual acts, they are nothing more, nothing less than sinners saved by grace--just like the rest of us. I preach and teach it as Biblically sound, Traditionally consistent with the insistence of early church leaders to open the community to those who were "different" AND Jesus' command to reach the least of these, and experientially supported and the REASONABLE and even required response from Christ followers. And I make no apologies for it. I am not here to please those who complain or insult. I am here to please God and to touch the untouchable, love the unlovable, and welcome the outcast--even those the church has deemed politically acceptable to cast out (there goes that argument that I'm being politically correct, too ;) ).

Problem is...the people in the church have somehow tried to REMOVE themselves from the equation in the above stated verse from Galatians...In other words, pleasing THEM is ok. AND they've committed blasphemy (thinks of recent debate on what blasphemy is) by equating NOT pleasing the church people as NOT pleasing God. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but the two ain't synonymous!

I preach and charge my constituents to practice our church motto of Open Hearts. Open Minds. Open Doors the same way I believe Jesus would--with OPEN ARMS, wide open. See, I believe that when Jesus opened his arms wide to welcome us all (all sinners) home to be with him in eternity, there is no limit to the width of his outstretched arms. I believe it. I preach it. I live it. No hidden agendas, no hidden motives. No bowing to pressure from the people.

(oh, and my friend I was talking to. She didn't need me to tell her anything.

She already knew in her heart that she's in the right place!)

And that's the Gospel (at least according to ME)

CHANGE SUCKS

2011-05-17T20:34:00.007-04:00

He who rejects change is the architect of decay. The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery. ~Harold Wilson

It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory. ~W. Edwards Deming

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. ~Anatole France

Without accepting the fact that everything changes, we cannot find perfect composure. But unfortunately, although it is true, it is difficult for us to accept it. Because we cannot accept the truth of transience, we suffer. ~Shunryu Suzuki

Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine. ~Robert C. Gallagher

There is a certain relief in change, even though it be from bad to worse! As I have often found in travelling in a stagecoach, that it is often a comfort to shift one's position, and be bruised in a new place. ~Washington Irving

When you are through changing, you are through. ~Bruce Barton

Faced with the choice between changing one's mind and proving that there is no need to do so, almost everyone gets busy on the proof. ~John Kenneth Galbraith

They must often change, who would be constant in happiness or wisdom. ~Confucius

The only difference between a rut and a grave is their dimensions. ~Ellen Glasgow

The man who never alters his opinion is like standing water, and breeds reptiles of the mind. ~William Blake

If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies. ~Author Unknown

It's hard to genuinely feel called to be an agent of change.

Quite frankly, too many people get genuinely hurt and too many others (those that are genuine and those that are not) get mad at you. In my line of work, especially in our mainline churches, the need for change has become URGENT. The writing is on the wall for too many mainline denominations (that's an image from Daniel as a man saw literally a hand writing on the wall foretelling doom--the end is near!).

But even those of us who are SUPER supportive of some changes will draw up short when the change messes with our own sacred cow, favorite tradition, or threatened to damage our standing, our comfort or our ease of access. Far too often, it boils down to losing our power. Not that we can SEE that when it happens, but it's there all the same. We didn't support this change and yet it is happening (Why didn't *I* get to vote on this? Why didn't someone ask ME?)

Change sucks--no doubt about it.

I don't like being the bad guy--really--I don't--at all. I have a complex that far too many preachers have...I want people to like me--every one--all people--all the time. That's the ego and hint of perfectionism that my former District Superintendent spoke of when he told me (in front of one of my churches) that if I wasn't careful I was going to hell--as trying to be-no--expecting to be perfect all the time was to usurp the roll of God and that could find you in a toasty environment!

But still, I have doubts. I question. Everything. I doubt myself. I ask the dreaded questions. What have I done? Am I doing the right thing? Am I causing more harm than good? Wouldn't it have been easier to just go with the flow? And at times, there are no answers to these questions.

Genuine life requires genuine change. Period. The only time we quit changing is after our own death and when we resist change, we resist the life that we are given. Worse, we may hurt others in our resistance.

In the church's case, the statistics don't lie. We may honestly debate WHAT changes need to be made, but that change is required is a no-brainer. Without change, there will be no church for my grandchildren's grandchildren. And IF and when that happens, it will be MY fault if I don't do all I can to usher in change.

So what to do with those who resist, protest, boycott? Nothing. We just love them and move on. Jesus warned his disciples as he sent them out. If you are rejected, shake the dust from your sandals and leave (them behind). Yes, he may have hinted at it when he said, "Let the dead bury the dead." We have work to do--and our work--our mission--is towards the future, not the past. So we love, we show as much respect as we possibly can. We pray that the day comes when they rejoin the fellowship, but we MUST move forward.

Important to know that change IS the future, like it or not. Change WILL happen--one way or the other. so for those who believe: "Change--only you can stop it." You're just wrong. You can't. You can cause trouble, you can make change be negative instead of positive--but you cannot stop change. It's just not possible.

Change sucks. But only in that it is hard, NOT that it isn't good!

Really, it is.

And change we will.

Change is inevitable.

Survival, however, is a choice.

Happy Mother's Day

2011-05-08T08:21:00.005-04:00

God: “As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you; you shall be comforted in Jerusalem.”
Isaiah 66:13

Today is Mothers Day. I had cards for me and the kids to sign and give to my wife before she left to her church, where she is preaching 4 worship services. Her big concern? I'm sick. I need to go to the doctor, but I didn't want to interfere with her busy morning. She offered to take the kids with her (not a good idea). She slept in the spare room so I could try to rest. She is showing concern for ME.

My own Mom is nearing 70, but is headed this way with my dad to take care of my kids while I get to the ER to get checked out. I think I have pneumonia or bronchitis, either way--it hurts to breath. I need my mom and I'm 46 years old. And my mom is coming to the rescue (along with Dad, of course).

Susan Thomas is a mother. Her son is in training, about to head off to a combat zone in a foreign country. She's preaching for me this morning at a moment's notice. She's a good mom.

Donna Coone is a mom, who is taking care of getting the word out about my not being there for the early class. Pat Kluttz is a mom, my Music Minister who will ensure the service is full of worship.

My sister is a mom, who has overcome incredible odds to have her (now grown) sons with her so that they are safe. I won't be seeing her today, but I think of her.

I think of all of the mom's out there who have been so much to me over my life (aunts, grandmothers, church members, friends, etc) and if you wonder where they get it from--"it" being that ability to love, comfort, sacrifice, heal, teach, etc...well, they get it from the one in whose image they were created.

Genesis 1 tells us that WE were created in God's image--male AND female--yes, women in God's image just like men. Verse after verse tells us of the motherly aspects of our God in heaven and I know our mom's get that special something that makes them moms---from God.

And so a great big happy Mothers Day to all the Mothers out there, especially to the Mother without whom our own Mothers wouldn't be Moms!

Happy Mothers Day God!

Stephen King and UBL--Taking a Stand

2011-05-07T10:49:00.009-04:00

I saw an OP-ED piece in my local newspaper that was entitled: "Evil Does Not Die A Natural Death"

As a student of Theology and Theodicy (The study of God in the face of evil), it caught my attention and I read most of the lengthy article. It was about Bin Laden. I've been silently considering the last week--the death of bin Laden, which brought a smile to my face, then the horror I felt at watching the impromptu rallies cheering his death while at the same time not blaming them one bit--just wishing they wouldn't do that--such confusion at my own feelings after the death of someone who we have associated with pure evil for so long now.

The author noted that just a couple months before 9/11, a writer had predicted that in the coming decade (the one just past now), Terrorist attacks would die a natural death. There was a downward trend and he said it was all too passe anyway. No one was paying attention, so we needed to quit worrying about rooting out terrorists and let nature take its course.

Hmm, sounds clinical--reminds me of a dear church member who is in the hospital now. The family has removed medical treatment other than that needed to make her comfortable and they wait for "nature to take its course." Sounds peaceful, quiet, somber.

But the author goes on to say that Evil is not like that. Evil, as we have seen in reality, in the last decade, has not died a natural death--instead, it pervades life in this world as it always has. I don't believe it's been on the increase--rather, evil has always been--the only question is trying to define what evil is as just like beauty, Evil is in the eye of the beholder.

For the author of the article, Evil is equated with a particular world view of a particular sub group of a particular people who are bent on destroying America, our allies, our ideals, etc., etc., etc.

I don't disagree in fact, but Evil is so much bigger than that. Evil is as big as killing 3,000 people on a fateful Tuesday morning. Evil is as small as that Gossip Chain that refuses to die because someone just keeps ON feeding--feeds it in my opinion with the intent of causing harm. Evil is as big as the unjust war and as small as working to ruin someone's reputation simply because you don't like them or disagree with them.

Evil is among us. We know even from Scripture that having a faith community does not make one immune from having evil among us--rather it is more assured that Evil will flourish there in the hearts of those who have pledged their loyalty to God, the Church, and their fellow humans. Evil simply is. We are not immune in the Body of Christ.

And all too often, our response is to treat evil the way the poor sap suggested back in 2001. Let's ignore it and it will simply go away. In every church I've been a a part of--either as a pastor or a member, Evil has been allowed to reign as we simply don't want to confront it. Well, the author in the Op-Ed piece today was right (at least on that point)--Evil will NOT die a natural death--not until Jesus comes back and we have heaven on earth.

My mind goes to Stephen King's The Stand. These brave souls gathered and stood their ground. They took a STAND against evil, even paying the ultimate price to do so. Evil must not be left unchallenged. I said that evil is hard to identify too often, just like in The Stand--but I suggest we start with the evil that preys on others--the evil that preys on the 2011 lepers of church and society, the evil that pushes to judge instead of love--the evil that works undercover of whispers and venomous comments--that evil that seeks to steal, kill, and destroy--the opposite of what we should be doing as followers of Christ.

It's time to be silent no more. It's time to take a Stand and speak out, confronting the evil that is among us. Who will take a stand and at least speak? Who will boldly confront the antithesis of who we are supposed to be when following Christ? Who will risk in order that Evil might not flourish--at least today--at least here?

“Evil flourishes when good men do nothing.”
~British statesman Edmund Burke

And that's the Gospel (According to ME)

It's a little cooler here today--and in Hell, too.

2011-05-05T11:31:00.009-04:00

Disclaimer: The following story is fictional and does not depict any real persons or situation.

or

Disclaimer: The names have been changed to protect the innocent

Pick one--I'm going there

There are a few select folks I've met over my years in ministry that have the privilege of being placed on a very special list. It's a list of folks I have said: "It'll be a cold day in hell before I reach out to minister to them again!" Not very pastoral, I know, but I always felt that there were some Jesus told us to shake the dust off our sandals--those who don't just reject the gospel or reject us, but are mean spirited and out to hurt or stall our ministry of spreading the gospel to the least, the last, and the lost.

I haven't thought much about them once they get on that list except finding ways to avoid them if possible, confront them if needed, and count my blessings that encounters with them are brief.

Then God speaks. Imagine that! And sometimes when He speaks, I don't like it to be honest.

I had the high honor today of praying with a dear soul who is closer to heaven than earth--speaking softly to him words of hope, promise, and comfort...Asking God to wrap his arms around him and pull him ever closer until he finds that perfect healing that comes when transitioning from one world to the next. Behind me in a chair was a family member--one of those people who has made my dishonor roll I mentioned above. (let's call him Ham.) I was polite to him, but focused my ministry to the patient, someone I love and hate seeing in the midst of suffering.

As I finished my prayer and my words of comfort, I turned to see Ham, quietly weeping. I stood for a moment and thought, "too little too late, your crocodile tears won't fool anyone," but then God spoke. Not audibly I don't think, but it could have been.

But regardless, I felt called, urged, REQUIRED to move and to speak. Without being able to stop myself (I wanted to), I knelt on the hard floor and held Ham's hands, looked into his eyes and spoke words of peace, comfort, healing, forgiveness, and love--promising that God's perfect healing covers all types of wounds and given a chance, would heal the brokenness in the room.

Sometimes Death is God's ultimate healing and not just for those who have died. Because of the blurring of the lines between life--and death--and life--a blurring created by the Resurrection Power of Our Lord and Savior, death can bring healing to the living too. Maybe my condemnation of Ham had been misguided--maybe? Maybe I was just wrong. Maybe even if I was right, it was time for a change of heart--MY HEART--not sure, but as a result, I am now probably meeker and stronger all at the same time--death, even for the living, brings the ultimate healing for those ministered to as well as to the one who is ministering.

We are Resurrection People. We must be willing to Arise with Christ to new life, new skin, new outlooks while still on this side of Death to truly experience the Power of the Risen Savior. Physical Death is not the only death He defeated when he walked away from the tomb.

I still have my list and still will (erroneously) proclaim with those few on it that I will hold out til Hell freezes over I'm sure. And I pray God doesn't make me do violate that list again any time soon.

Of course, it's not uncommon for us to resist those things that are good for us. Perhaps God knew I needed to bend my knee, humble myself, and be obedient to His leading so that I could reach out even to Ham. Perhaps I was the only one who could. Perhaps it was for me more than Ham. I didn't like it, but I think it might have been for my own good. My list is smaller today. My compassion is bigger. My confidence in what is right and wrong is once again shaken.

Teach me O Lord to follow your leading, especially when I simply do NOT want to go. I must become smaller even as You become larger.

After the storm passed through here last night, the temperature dropped dramatically. It's a beautiful cool spring day in North Carolina. I don't know what storm passed through hell, but it seems today it is a little bit cooler there, too.

And that's the Gospel (According to ME)

Defending Open Doors

2011-04-29T18:41:00.006-04:00

Really? This needs a defense?

Probably not at first glance--it needs an exegesis--that's a fancy term preachers use which means to pull the meaning out of something.

What does it mean to have open doors?

Preferably, if we have already bought into the Open Hearts. Open Minds. part of our UM slogan, then this should be easy, but in practice, it's not, is it?

The most obvious meaning of the phrase is that anyone should be welcome in our church--ANYONE and EVERYONE. The problem is that we like to believe that we are being welcoming, but in fact, we're only practicing hospitality. Hospitality is something you practice for those who come to visit for a bit--outsiders we want to "feel" at home, but in truth, only for a time, while they are visiting us in what is for them--a foreign place. "Let's make them feel comfortable."

A welcoming attitude is the way you act to new neighbors, new family members, or even when someone actually moves in to live with you. I remember a sermon preached years ago by Dr. Chuck Wilson where he talked about what it means to really make someone feel WELCOME. He said, "sometimes you have be willing to rearrange the furniture!" You know if someone comes to spend the night, we pull out the sleeper sofa, or for a few good hosts, we might even clean off the spare room bed or heck, even give them ours for a day or two. But the furniture is still the way WE like it, the closet is still filled with our clothes, the dresser has no room for their belongings. We know it's only temporary.

Now if someone actually moved in to stay with us and we did that, they would not feel welcome long. Instead, to truly show such a person they were welcome, we'd have to be willing to clean out the closets, sell some of our own furniture so they could actually feel at home, like they belonged there.

Are we willing to do that to make a "visitor" feel like our church is now their church? Or do we simply offer them what you see is what you get. If you don't like it, there are other churches? One-size-fits-all-church. One-size-fits-all faith.

To genuinely practice OPEN DOORS. we have to be willing to rearrange the furniture so that when someone comes, they actually feel like what we are saying is true--this is YOUR church now, too.....Welcome!

But there is another side to the coin here. Doors work both ways. They let people in and they let people out. We want to let the world in, but dang it, we have to get the church OUT.

Practicing OPEN DOORS means that, like Jesus and the Disciples, we are not confined to a building. We have to be wiling to take the church--to take JESUS to the world--that's right--TO them. What about the gazillions of people now who simply don't want to go to CHURCH because they don't like CHURCH? Do they just not deserve Jesus? Do we condemn them to an eternity without Christ, without God because we want them to fit into OUR mold? Can we not take Jesus to them?

Can we not go have church in the park? at their home? In the Coffee shop? In fact, that too sounds too churchy. Doesn't taking the church to them mean meeting their needs in their turf? Feeding the hungry, giving shelter to the homeless, clothing those who can't afford to do it themselves, visiting the sick (and not just our own members!), visiting those in prison? Gee, didn't Jesus say that was actually HOW he would discern who was and who wasn't one of his followers? (see Matthew 25) Didn't Jesus say that if we took care of those who needed our help, it was the same in His eyes as taking care of Jesus himself?

Practicing Open Doors means the door never closes--we welcome all who enter--truly welcome--yes----but we also have to use that same door to go and BE the church for them.

Open Hearts. Open Minds. Open Doors. The People of The United Methodist Church.

Good slogan. Proud of it. Really.

And that's the Gospel (according to ME)

Chad Holtz was right!

2011-04-29T11:16:00.009-04:00

You can read his satirical blog post here:

When Tornados Miss Gay Universalists

But in short, what Chad said was that people are looking to blame someone for tragedy and soon someone will decide that the recent Tornado outbreak in the Southern US was because God is trying to punish someone!

Today I was getting my hair cut--well, more properly, getting my head shaved by the only man I'll let take a blade to my head--Greg Furr--and it was a terrible line at an old style barber shop--you go in, sit down and wait your turn while 2 good barbers work hard to get their work done one head at a time.

Since I was a boy, I have enjoyed places like barber shops or the old style gas stations where old men would gather and tell tall tales. I listened today as two men swapped stories about who had more sons or more grandchildren and then great grandchildren. Eventually, one of them was interrupted, so the other turned to me and started small talk with me. After he helped himself to MY paper, he commented on the storms. Here is the conversation as best I can remember it (and it was just a few moments ago):

Man: Well, it sure looks like God is trying to tell us something with these tornadoes, earthquakes, tsunamis....We better pay attention!
Me: I bite my tongue and say nothing, try hard to pretend he didn't really say that, even turn to the other conversation going on to try to get OUT of what I know is coming
Man: You know what I mean?
Me: It was a horrible day for them.
Man: (He's not going to let this die) Don't YOU think God is trying to tell us something with these tornadoes?
Me: NO, I do not.
Man: What? God is the only one who can control these things, you do believe that, don't you?
Me: I believe we serve an all powerful God who CAN control the weather, yes. I do not believe he caused these storms, no.
Man: Well, I'm just saying if He's the only one who can control them, he must be trying to teach us something.
Me: Well, again, I believe God CAN control the weather, I do NOT believe that God sent those tornadoes to kill over 300 people, and I SERIOUSLY do not believe that God would kill 300 people just to teach someone a lesson--that would be inconsistent with the God I know.
Man: Hmph! All I said is that God MUST have made it happen, since no one else could have. I've spent my life young man studying God's Word and you might want to think about that! What might God have been trying to teach us? That's what I wonder.
Me: Well, I sleep well at night and I don't wonder about it one bit.

crickets chirp in the silence in that part of the room.

A few feet away, conversation turns to my good friend, David Cash, a fellow UM pastor of the church just down the road. I say I know him well. The man asks me how I know him and here it comes out--the whole truth. Well, I am also a United Methodist Pastor in Kannapolis.

Shock! The God-is-out-to-get-us man starts to stare at me intently. He says, "Did you say you are a preacher?" "Yes" "Methodist?" "Yes"

Soon it's my turn to sit in the chair and now I'm facing the man directly. As Greg and I chat about church stuff (my cousin is his pastor at yet another UM church nearby), the man continues to stare at me with a very disturbed expression. I'm not sure if it was disgust, anger, confusion, shame, or just sadness. I never could figure it out. He seemed almost to pout, no longer speaking to anyone. He was called to go to the chair next to mine and stopped and almost whispered in my ear: "You really are a Methodist Pastor?" "Yes."

Did I ruin his day, disappoint him, or make him think? I don't know, but I was shocked at how quickly Chad's prediction from yesterday entered reality in my own life.

I don't serve a God who sends tornadoes to get people's attention. I do, however, serve YHVH, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, God our father, first person of the Trinity, the ABBA (daddy) of Jesus and my Abba as well.

I serve the God who was there when the tornadoes hit. I serve the God who suffered when his children suffered. I serve the God who has been wrapping his arms around those who have lost so much in the wake of this disaster. I don't believe in that other god.

The image below was taken a few miles from where My Great Aunt, Janie Porter lives with much of her family in Dade County, GA. They all escaped unharmed! I refuse to believe MY God would, with malice and forethought, put them in harm's way to make a point.

And that's the Gospel (according to ME)

Defending Open Minds

2011-04-28T12:40:00.012-04:00

The church has gotten quite sure of itself, believing that they have it all right and daring anyone to challenge them. There is a newer generation of so called Thinkers who are re-imagining, even re-creating GOD in whatever form seems to fit them best. They are taking the politically correct, expedient, easy way out by dismissing centuries of church teaching, pretending to have SCRIPTURE on their side when the reality is they are merely twisting Scripture to fit their needs. Don't they know Scripture is not open to individual interpretation? One cannot seriously give credence to this "NEW" way of seeing God, Jesus, the Body of Christ, Scripture, and even the world without dismissing completely the authority of the Word of God, The Church, and God himself.

No matter how much "new" thinking people do, they can't overturn centuries of traditional understanding of such things. They simply don't have the authority. Who are they to question?

We do things a certain way for a reason. We believe what we do for a reason. We accept certain things for a reason--such things are BUILT upon the solid rock of historical teachings of the church, tried and true. Since we have established it as TRUTH, one must NOT question or one will be outside of TRUTH, and since God is TRUTH, one will therefore be outside of the scope of God.....

Enough said?

Such has been the response so often when modern theological thought gives way to questions which threaten the foundation on which our churches were built....As people question HELL, the "sinfulness" of homosexuality, remarriage after divorce, WOMEN IN MINISTRY, how to dress for church, what music is acceptable in worship, etc, etc, etc..., the establishment responds with indignation and judgment--swift and harsh, suggesting that anyone who might do so is not "really" Christian--not a TRUE CHRISTIAN (tm).

Problem is that in the opening paragraphs, I was talking about THE Reformation, you know, think Martin Luther type Reformation. THE church had gotten so smug and sure of itself that questioning wasn't allowed--Anyone questioning the established beliefs--the acceptable beliefs was greeted with: WE KNOW WHAT TRUTH IS AND HOW DARE YOU QUESTION US. YOU EITHER AGREE WITH US OR YOU ARE A HERETIC. And then they might be excommunicated, they might even be executed. And now, we (whatever side you are on) have become THEM. The establishment says the same things to and about "new" thinkers now as the Church leaders did about the Great Reformers.

During the Reformation, good people fought (literally) and paid with their lives at times because they had open minds. They dared to question, to challenge, to seek change and the primary reason was that the church had moved to the point of putting TRADITION over people--in fact they used TRADITION to trample on the least of these--the very ones that Jesus came to save--the very ones that Jesus said would be rulers in heaven. They fought against religious establishment for the betterment of PEOPLE.

But here we are 500 years later and the NEW church born of reformation that desired open mindedness and was FOR the people THEN is now the church that has become closed minded and resistant to change. Why? Because we think we KNOW--that our way is not only the best way, but the only way. And when someone comes along that says, "you know what? The church is trampling on people to stand on ceremony and tradition. We must change this" they are treated as traitors to the cause--as heretics. We have become what we fought so hard to defeat!

No thanks. God may not have changed one iota since the beginning of time, but our understanding of God HAS changed and continues to change--to evolve over time. I WANT to keep an open mind so that I can keep learning about the Holy Creator of the universe. I want to keep an open mind so that when someone comes to our church and has questions, they feel there is a place for them HERE in this church--you don't have to tow the company line! I want to have an open minded church that loves and accepts all people, regardless of their questions OR new ideas. There is a place for you here! We love OPEN MINDS.

We cannot pretend that we have all the answers 100% right. If we do, we fail. And if we fail here, the next Reformation will be against US.

And that's the Gospel (according to ME)

Defending Open Hearts

2011-04-27T11:32:00.005-04:00

It hasn't been all that long ago (a few years now) that I was handed a bulletin from my own church's worship service with the words, OPEN HEARTS. OPEN MINDS. OPEN DOORS, underlined. Underneath it, written in red (the scarlet letter--GASP HERE please while leaning back slightly, holding the back of your hand over your mouth, with fear evident in the expression on your face) underneath it was this comment: "WE don't use this in the Methodist church anymore as too many were misusing it!" (Misusing was double underlined for effect.)

HUH?

I tried to ask questions, but I had made someone so mad just for having this in my bulletin that they spoke only in riddles: "Just investigate and you'll see that I'm right" "WE quit using that motto and you need to take it off the bulletin!" "I'm just TELLING you we should not have THAT in our bulletin"

Odd. Really Odd. So I thought I'd spend a little time looking over each of these aspects of The slogan of The United Methodist Church--a slogan I am actually quite proud of and work hard to make sure we live it out day by day--with malice and forethought if need be!

How could it really be "misused?" Well, it turns out I was in trouble at the time because we had some untouchables in our congregation and not just sitting in the back of the bus either. By God, we let 'em sit with the regular folk and even participate in worship. We even let them help LEAD worship! (You can make that face again here!)

I'll leave it to your imagination who the untouchables of our day might be in church exclusiveness, er um, inclusiveness I meant to say. It really doesn't matter who they are, just that the pharisaic mentality of the religious establishment still has lepers today and they still don't like it when Jesus touches them!

So, what's the first part of the Slogan? Ah yes, the one everybody would agree on, right?

We, UNITED METHODIST, profess as a Body of Believers to believe we should have OPEN HEARTS. Who could object to that? No one it seems, but again, the accusation is that we "misuse" the slogan, so how could we possibly be misusing it?

Seems the difference usually falls in the definition of HOW we love the modern day anathema of the church. We have three main options on how we show love:

TOUGH LOVE, which goes something like this: God loves you and so do I. It is because of this deep love that me and Yahweh have decided that, for your own good of course, that if you don't change your behavior, we're gonna send you to a place where forever and ever and ever and ever and ever, without possibility of it ever stopping, you will be tormented with a fire that will hurt like hell, but will never put you out of your misery. Just sayin' this cuz we (me and The Big Guy) love you to the BONE! As such, in order to keep you from going down that road, we're going to try to punish you enough now that you will turn around and stop that sinful behavior. So, YOU'RE BANNED from this place in the name of God, Jesus, The Holy Spirit, the Schofield Bible, the Board of Elders, the Senior Pastor, and Mrs. Bellum (Auntie Bellum) herself--please know that you and you kind are not welcome here until either you change your ways or hell freezes over. Bye now. Remember we LOVE you!
Tolerance, which goes something like this: By God, we are taught to act just like God would, so we want you to know we are so glad you visited with us today! EVERYONE IS WELCOME--even your kind! And we just love your mohawk Mrs...I'm sorry, I didn't get your name... Oh yes, Suzanna--such a feminine sounding name for you, but anyway, we're glad you're here. We want you to know that we aren't going to judge you ONE bit. Jesus wants us to love the sinner, BUT NOT THE SIN. We can't condone what yer doing, but that's ok, we love you anyway--what's that ole song? Sinner come to me! Where else would we want you to be than here. After all, if anyone is going to get you out of that sinful behavior, it ain't gonna happen away from the church. So come on in--maybe we can find you a long sleeve shirt to cover those....ah...beaUtiful drawings on your arm for next visit, but don't worry about it today. Come sit with me, it'll be fine, we don't have any children who sit in that section and it's in the back of the church. Here's our list of weekly activities, but you can't really participate in all of those--that's for the leaders of the church. What's that? How do you BECOME a leader? Well, first we have to make clear that certain activities are outside the box we put leaders in, so should you come to change, we can talk about all that later. We're so glad you came though. And we do hope that one day in the future, you'll come back....funny, none of your people ever come back--I just don't know why.
or a more OPEN Open Hearts like this: Welcome! We are so glad you are here today. Please join us. We are in the loving business and are hoping that you feel that love today and will join us in loving others in the name of Jesus of Nazareth!

I like the last option--much cleaner, no explanation needed, no exceptions offered, no disclaimers in the fine print--in fact, no fine print. We love because Jesus first loved us. And quite frankly, the way so many churches act in this regard ought to make it so that our hearts are so open to loving these postmodern church lepers, that we not only have open hearts, but we have broken hearts too.

We are followers of Jesus. We are in the loving business. Love--it's what we do. I'll stick with that one.

Now that's the Gospel (According to ME)

Let's have a Resurrection for Easter!

2011-04-23T21:03:00.005-04:00

My prayer for each of you this Easter is that the Resurrection of Jesus Christ will become so real in each of our lives that we are forced to be resurrected along with Him. Not just after our death, but right now--to HAVE eternal life in the context that Jesus referred to it, now in this age.

Eternal life that means living in the Kingdom of Heaven here on THIS earth. As we claim that Eternal life here and now, may our lives begin to show Kingdom values, always in tension with this world and the political leaders, the social status quo, and the Religious establishment as we continue to seek out and serve the least, the last, and the lost, putting into practice, NO--PRAXIS, what Jesus taught--that the Kingdom of Heaven and those who herald its arrival are NOT like this world, but instead, the opposite of it in nearly every way--in all aspects of life.

Challenging even the pharisaic manner in which we have all become so accustomed to experiencing the Church. We must reclaim the BODY OF CHRIST...FOR Jesus and those He came to reach--those He came to SAVE.

May you always be as radical as Jesus, questioning more than answering, serving more than preaching, and loving more than judging--always putting people ahead of rules.

May the Resurrected Jesus come alive IN your life as fully and completely as for those who witnessed it firsthand. May your world--may our world--be transformed as we continue in our mission: To GO and make Disciples to the ends of the world, EVEN if the ends of the world are in your own backyard.

Jesus is ALIVE. He has RISEN. Now Go and do likewise.

And that's the Gospel--really! (even according to ME)

Heaven, Hell, and Rob Bell

2011-04-21T19:01:00.011-04:00

ok, first, I'm not sure anyone is reading this, sooo if a blogger posts in a forest and no one is there to hear it fall, does he make any noise...

I've finished the Rob Bell Book--here's my official review.
Love Wins A Book About Heaven, Hell, and the Fate of Every Person Who Ever Lived.

First, it's a good read--easy to read and flows easily. It took me a while because I spent a lot of time processing what he said in the book. I DO recommend it, but with the provision that discussion is not just recommended, it's required in my humble opinion.

Second, a short discussion on Theological sources: We have MANY theological sources--The Bible, our cultural upbringing, what we were taught as right and wrong, and emotional baggage that we've gathered in life. NO ONE has just one source, even those who believe they only base their beliefs on Scripture. We all have our STUFF we carry into reading the Bible and it influences how we interpret it.

Next, it must be said categorically that Bell NEVER says he doesn't believe in Hell--he does, he just sees it differently from what many of us were taught as fact.

Bell's Theology, or his Doctrine of Hell is that Hell indeed is real--however, it is at most, a temporary state--at times of our own making, perhaps here in this life, perhaps not. IF indeed, one finds themselves in Hell, it is for the eventual restoration of the Creator with the created--in other words, eventually one can be refined by the stereotypical fires of hell and restored to right relationship with God. He is also NOT a universalist in the strictest sense of the word, allowing that one can forever resist and reject the love of God if one wants to, thus remaining in a Hell of sorts. In other words, ETERNAL life is eventually OFFERED to all, but not necessarily taken.

As to his theological slant, I have no real issue with it at all. I like it, really I do. It's a pretty picture--one frankly more in line with what my view and understanding of God tell me is REAL. He soundly argues this based on an understanding of God throughout Old and New Testaments as a God, who even when sending his chosen people to exile, does so that they might return rehabilitated and reconciled to God's self. He argues well that as we are in God's image and we, as parents would not torture our children even to correct them, then a loving parent like God surely wouldn't either. He also bases this on the entire notion of the Kingdom of God/Kingdom of Heaven being something temporal--something real in THIS world, even if only imperfectly now. Jesus speaks of this kingdom as something we must usher in now and stresses that this kingdom is NOT like what we'd expect. If this coming kingdom is of this world, and it is referred to as "eternal," then the hell spoken of in "eternal" terms must also be something temporal.

I'm sure I do not do his arguments full justice, HOWEVER, that's the gist of his theological grounding for this and it all meets the criteria my Theology professor (Rev Dr. Reginald Broadnax) taught me--it is logical---it is consistent---it is thought through to its ultimate and logical conclusion...
So, generally speaking, I get Bell's arguments and would like to be on board frankly, BUT, there is a problem.

One of Bell's theological sources here is Scripture (good, right?) and I'm not in full agreement with his conclusions there. He seems to build a lot of his argument around one word--in Greek it is AIONIOS, from the root of AION--which roughly translates in our language to EON or AGE. Bell states that every time this root word is used, it has a very literal translation--an AGE--a period of time that has a beginning and an end. Jesus speaks of THIS AION and the AION to come, thus neither is eternal (AIONIOS) in the sense that we think of the word Eternal, thus when Jesus speaks of (for example) the goat and the sheep in Matthew 25, he sends them to a (limited) eternal reward or (limited) eternal punishment--it's not forever in the sense that we think of, but speaking of an age to come...with a beginning and an end, thus his theology is supported by his interpretation of scripture.

FOR A GOOD ARTICLE ABOUT THE WORD AIONIOS, SEE
http://www.word-gems.com/time.aionios.html

NOW, I did my own homework on this word (using a good analytical concordance with the Theological Dictionary of The New Testament, as well as conferring with the two folks I know who know Biblical Greek far better than I--Dr. Christopher Hutson, professor of New Testament and Associate Dean at Abilene Christian University, and The Rev. (almost Dr.) Cathy Davis.

While Bell is correct that the root word AION is in fact speaking of a limited age, the adjective form AIONIOS is much more murky or mysterious when you actually check out its common usage back in Jesus' day. It speaks of time differently from the way we see time on the clock or calendar (which is CHRONOS). Eternal is much more complicated than simply never ending--the two don't exactly equate in English. At times, yes, it is speaking of something very temporal, touchable, here, present with us on this earth, but also it is speaking of something forever without end. The same word is used to describe HOPE that Christians have for salvation and to describe the very GOD we DO believe is without beginning or end, so the best that can be said is in reading the New Testament, when reading the word ETERNAL (AIONIOS), it MIGHT mean something akin to an age with a beginning and an end, it might not--it is all to be found in the context. One cannot say that it ALWAYS means one or the other.

So, to be fair, one must be very careful to examine the context to attempt to pull out of the text its meaning (which we call exegesis), rather than read what we are looking for INTO the text (which is what we call eisogesis). I believe Rob Bell has erred in this one aspect of his book.

In fact, I wish he had simply said: "It could mean either but it fits nicely with my theology to read it this one way." It would have been more acceptable. Still, I don't find fault in Bell's Theology itself. I genuinely don't think it is necessary to believe in a forever type Hell to have accepted Jesus The Christ as your personal savior. We have a wide range of beliefs that fall into the Christian family. I LIKE the book, and WANT to believe it actually, but in reading and studying the texts themselves, I'm not yet ready to toss out the "eternalness" of hell.

Give me time (Chronos) Rob Bell--I might just get there with you. Go with your theology--I support that fully and genuinely LOVED the book. I just have the issue of your scriptural interpretation that is a sticking point for me now.

For the rest of you. Read the book, but do not do so in a vacuum. Find a discussion group--one that is open and inviting to differing points of view and do some serious study for yourselves. Open your heart to what God is telling you TODAY and ask of God the hard questions---as I've said--God can take it!

And that's the Gospel (According to ME)

Rob Bell..Who's going to hell?

2011-04-20T13:32:00.003-04:00

OK, this is just a teaser. Rob Bell's book that has caused such a stir (Love Wins: A Book About Heaven, Hell, and the Fate of Every Person Who Ever Lived). I just now completely finished the book and my studies associated with it. Blogging on it later. Want to get my thoughts together....But help me out
So, who's read it? Anyone want to weigh in early and tell me what you think? What have you heard about it? I need some direction from you here. Talk to me..
Later.

How DARE you question God!

2011-04-14T11:11:00.006-04:00

Questioning God...

Job tried it and you know how that turned out...

Well, maybe you don't.

Let's look at it for a moment...

An epic poem telling of a righteous man experiencing trials in life despite his dedication to YHVH (the Biblical Hebrew appellation for the God of Heaven)--why-do-bad-things-happen-to-good-people themed, asking lots of questions and quite frankly when you examine it closely, it gives little in the way of answers--just like the way we have to handle it today when the same theological question is asked.

Job lost it all, purportedly at the hands of ha-Sa-TAN (we call him Satan), but importantly to the story--with the full permission and apparent cooperation of God Almighty himself. Yes, God not only allowed Satan to destroy all that Job had in life, he is the very one that pointed Job out to Satan in the first place!

Job had good health, wealth, property, and lots of children. Satan took them all except his wife (and reading the story, you'd think at times that Satan would have LIKED her!).

Job sits with his so called friends as they attempt to comfort him by telling him it must be his own fault, after all if that much bad happens to you God must be punishing you, right? In the midst of his fullest grief, unbearable under the strain for most, everything gone but a wife who tells you "Why don't you just curse God and go ahead and die old man!" and friends who tell you you brought it on yourself, Job actually questions God! He does--oh the temerity of that man! If anyone ever had the RIGHT to question...but questioning God? Isn't that dangerously bold?

And yet, what terrible punishment from God befalls him as a result of his questioning?

Well, he gets...GOD--yup, that's what I said. He gets a face to face with God. Now God asks some rhetorical questions, such as "Dude, I created the world and everything in it, so why are you questioning my competence?" But in his questioning, he finds--not answers to his specific questions, but rather, he finds GOD HIMSELF--present with Job. And when Job realizes that God has not left him-either through his tragedy or because of his questions--and only when he realizes this, is he restored. He was not punished, quite the opposite. He get's face time with God!

So, today as we face the realities of a difficult life in hard economic times--as we listen to both the right and the left take stabs and jabs and suggest that they and they alone are following Jesus or somehow else lay claim to owning God--as we see devastation from earthquakes, tornadoes, tsunamis, disease, crime, drugs, war, etc, etc...yes, it IS ok to question God and ask WHY???? I can't promise that you will ever get the answer you are seeking or that you will ever truly understand why ANYTHING happens in this age we live in , but I believe with all my heart that you WILL find, as Job did--that God is HERE--in the midst of suffering, in the midst of crime, in the midst of injustice--there God IS--I AM THAT I AM--cries with us and comforts us in our sorrow, in our confusion, in our doubts, in our uncertainties. I AM...IS

Now, most will not disagree with this, but let's push the envelope a bit further--(YOU KNEW I WOULD!)

Why is it that we can fully understand that it is ok to question God in times of torment, agony, pain, depression, etc....but it is not ok to simply question our traditional view of God? of heaven or hell? of life and death? of right and wrong? of love? of sin? of church? Help me understand why it is that when someone writes a book or a blog entry thinking things through, questioning authority and tradition (something Jesus did all the time) we cry havoc and loose the dogs of war?

Former UM pastor Chad Holtz recently questioned Hell in a blog. Not only did his student pastorate go away, but (for me far worse was when) someone wrote on his facebook page that "one day [he] would be called to answer for leading folks to hell (yes, the irony is palpable in telling someone who doesn't believe in hell that one day they will be going TO HELL because he led others TO HELL). Really? To question God (or more appropriately to question hell in this case) means a one way ticket to hell?

How odd?

God, the Almighty, the Creator of all that is, Master of time and space, creator of physics, of light, or darkness, of black holes, of tiny hands and feet that belong to a newborn--THAT God is now so concerned that someone would dare to question long standing interpretation and beliefs that God, the heavenly parent of this supposed wayward child, is going to SMITE them? For questioning? Really?

God, the one I serve, is SOOOOOO big, that God can handle the questions. God is not threatened by a question of a mere mortal, and certainly not threatened by the questions of his own child--I'm a far worse parent that God is and I'm not threatened by my children's questions. Why should I suspect God would be.

It's ok. Ask! Explore! Question! God can handle it!

A (Selective) Return to Orthodoxy? Do Tell...

2011-03-25T19:08:00.017-04:00

It's a term I keep hearing bantered about lately, even on the front of a denominational magazine the other day. United Methodist across the country (and across our conference) are jockeying for position as delegate elections for General Conference approach and the new buzzword is "return to Orthodoxy." It sounds good. Tradition and all--part of the Wesleyan Quadralateral (but only PART) That's what is proposed and spoken of (at least to outsiders of that circle) in whispers and without clarification of exactly what that means to those who propose it. I suspect the reason is that it is subjective and difficult to define simply.

What does it mean? What is "ORTHODOXY?"

According to Webster:
1. : the quality or state of being orthodox
2 : an orthodox belief or practice.
Ok, dangit, now I have to look up another word, hang on...
Orthodox, again according to Webter:
a : conforming to established doctrine especially in religion
b : conventional

Established doctrine, especially in religion. Ok, that must be it when discussing moving the United Methodist Church in a direction of a "return to orthodoxy." Let's put that all together. What the movement is suggesting is that The United Methodist Church return to the quality or state of conforming to established doctrine.

Well, that clears that up.

Well, not really.
hmmm

It presumes that we are NOT in a state of conforming to established doctrine to begin with here in The United Methodist Church, yet it seems to me that we (THE UMC) are living precariously balanced in that finely drawn balance that the Discipline has established in such matters, always in tension, always a bit chaotic, but certainly where Methodist Theologian Randy Maddox has termed THE EXTREME CENTER. In other words, we are exactly in keeping with our current established doctrine.

But I digress. Let's ASSUME (pardon to Marion District Superintendent, Rev. Phil Cole who told me when I was a boy that to ASSUME was to make an ASS of U and ME. I can never use that word without thinking of him) for a moment that we are no longer conforming to established doctrine for the sake of further discussion and go on with that in mind.

Along with the presumption of unorthodoxy, it actually begs a question or two as well:

1. Established when and by whom?

2. If we are going to return to yesteryear, who gets to decide what parts of the back-in-the-day doctrine we re-adopt?

Let's try to answer those questions...

1. Established by whom and when? What doctrines are we returning to and who exactly put their stamp of approval on them? Remember Tradition--that one of three legs on our Wesleyan Quadrilateral stool? Tradition is but ONE leg and we are to study tradition NOT only to learn what to do, but also what mistakes NOT to repeat. Assuming we are talking about going back to a time in our own history, we must acknowledge that we UM's don't have a LONG history.

Christmas, 1784 would be the start of our church...no wait--that was the Methodist Episcopal Church, which with good motives moved within a few years to establish separate but unequal churches for the African American (slave or free) Methodists. We didn't fix part of that until 1968 and still have our AME and AMEZion and CME brothers and sisters in separate denominations. I suspect we aren't going back that far.

The Civil War? Nah, probably not that far either--by then there had already been more splits in what was left of the Methodist Episcopal Church over slavery issues. Most of the churches I have served were begun as Methodist Episcopal Church South churches. Our Orthodoxy means believing that it was ok to own slaves. Nope. Move on.

Maybe go back to Prohibition? The United Methodist were leaders in the prohibition movement and it was a Discipline required duty of United Methodist Women to ensure that people signed Temperance Cards, committing to no alcohol use, but if we did that, we'd lose a lot of folks who have come to terms with social drinking, drinking wine for health, or a two-finger glass of bourbon at night, as long as no one gets hurt. Those same folks that now realize when Jesus turned water into wine, it wasn't grape juice may not, however have budged on other "orthodox" issues and therefore are still drawn to the church AND this return to orthodoxy movement. No. We can't do that, so let's not.

Perhaps the orthodoxy we are returning to should be the 1950's. The church was doing great then. My dad's senior class when he was growing up (just 12th graders) numbered more youth than most churches have. The church was still lilly white, divorce was so frowned on that pastors would not marry folks who had been married before. Oh, and women were not allowed to be ordained as Elders. Come to think of it, this may yet be one of the items these "return to orthodoxy" folks want. I've noticed that many of our new model UM churches--those that "don't wave the flag," those that don't like to put United Methodist on their signs--many of these church type folk are the ones calling for a return to orthodoxy. Course they would draw the line at returning to "orthodox" style worship as THAT doesn't draw in the numbers. But they also have very few women leading those congregations--in fact I personally don't know of a single one of them who has a congregation which is led by a woman--not one. Maybe they WOULD be happy if we turned back the clock in this area and returned to a male only pastorate--after all--it's right there in the Bible, no?

But certainly a call for such a return to any or all of these things would fall flat in our denomination. Separate but equal, Black Central Conferences, supporting slavery, shaming divorced people, and forbidding women from being ordained are all things of our past--things we own and study and learn from--things we are committed to NOT returning to (remember that tradition thing again in our quadrilateral--this is orthodoxy too!). We have grown, learned, and moved on to embrace the present age and shock upon shock, we found that when we did, Jesus was still there, right in the midst of our newfound orthodoxy, our newfound doctrinal standards. We have not abandoned Jesus as Lord or Grace upon Grace (yet). We ARE United Methodists.

So what, pray tell, could it be that we are being led towards like lambs to the slaughter in this trumpet call to "return to orthodoxy?"

I suspect Orthodoxy is in the eye of the beholder

I suspect it is one issue and one issue alone that dominates center stage.

We live in a society where the battle is being waged in every major denomination. The status and role of the homosexual. Yes, I said it. Wish they would. It would make it so much easier. I suspect this is also a reaction to the letter signed by a HUGE mass of retired Bishops calling for a move in the other direction on the issue of homosexuality and the church.

Remember I said that there were two questions begged by the vague call to a return to orthodoxy. I've discussed the first at length, but the second is harder...

2. If we are going to return to yesteryear, who gets to decide what parts of the back-in-the-day doctrine we re-adopt? The method won't be as shown here:

But actually close I'm afraid.

It is amazing to me that having preached and practiced the Slogan of our denomination: Open Hearts, Open Minds, Open Doors, I was told that I preach a lax gospel, one lacking of teeth and then my motives are questioned..."Geez Pastor, I recognize that you have to worry about offending people because if you do, they might not give...." Wait, really? you are accusing me of malpractice for hire? Preaching to the highest bidder? Worse, not believing what I preach.

I actually do not question the motives of those preachers who choose to preach more ORTHODOX messages of condemnation and "it's a sin because the Bible says it's a sin" and "you are welcome here. Jesus loves you. But until you change, you sit in the corner and pay attention." Perhaps they really believe it. I do, however wonder (which falls barely short of questioning): Why are our upper echelons allowing these churches to continue to act in such non-United Methodist ways? Why are there United Methodist churches that are not proud to be United Methodist at the core of who they are? Could it be that the churches with the most growth (generally speaking) are these non-flag-waving churches with contemporary style and ultra conservative Biblical interpretation and theology? Could it be we are allowing it because we need them for numbers? I wonder...

(I MUST add a disclaimer here. I love my brothers and sisters who are leading and who are a part of these new style churches. I pray for their ministries. We have one in our district whose senior pastor is one of my favorite people. Another in Hickory where one of the daughter campuses is led by a man I highly respect and admire. They are two of the finest preachers I have ever had the privilege of hearing preach. They do good work and their churches certainly work hard to spread the gospel (in a different format of course). I just don't want to see this style church be the future of our denomination. I may disagree with the method, but I do love them and it's all about love!)

So, what IS the intent? What are we seeking to do or change to make a move towards orthodoxy? Currently the Discipline is a bit schizophrenic on the matter of homosexuality.

1.--In one paragraph it says we believe it not in keeping with the teachings of the Bible so we will not ordain an openly gay or lesbian person who is self professed and "practicing." (teehee, that always makes me laugh--sorry--do they really need the practice?). In the same paragraph it says we are committed to be in ministry TO and WITH all persons, referring directly to the homosexual again.
2.--We don't allow gay marriage, but are committed to equal civil rights of every person.
3.--We don't allow self professed homosexuals to be ordained, but limit what self professed means to make it extremely limited--sort of a very limited "don't ask, don't tell" and you'll be okay, yet we encourage honesty and openness among the clergy.

Just to name a few...

As I said, we are a bit schizophrenic on the topic.

While one side of the aisle is always openly trying to move us towards a MORE welcoming spirit to our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters, they make no apologies about it and there is no hidden language. THIS is what they want. Here it is.

I suspect the other side of the aisle is trying to move us to step back from our welcoming attitude and be stronger in our condemnation. But they call it ORTHODOXY.

There simply is not much else that makes sense. This must be the big move we are going to be asked to make--towards ORTHODOXY, but it's only selective and most of our opinions will not be sought out--we're too....unorthodox.

I may have to eat my words. I don't know what they really want in this movement--not yet. We shall see, but in the meantime, I'm not of a mind to blindly follow as one leads vaguely towards orthodoxy just because it might not be cool to be unorthodox. I don't want to go back--not one bit, not backwards--no. I want to show people through word and deed that Jesus lives here--in the present--in the unorthodox. He was the most unorthodox Jew of his time and he was hated for it. I'm sure there were those forming committees back then to call for a return to orthodoxy, away from Jesus, away from God, but towards the way things have always been. Thank God such a movement didn't kill the church! Jesus will also be there in the future, whether we take a wrong step or not. He's not in the details of the Discipline or on the Board of Ordained Ministry (heck, I'm not even sure he could pass the Board of Ordained Ministry ;) ), he's in the hands and feet of those who follow him. Regardless of how orthodox or not he's in the past, the present, and the future--if not, he's not the Messiah!

And so be careful. If you are a local delegate to your Annual Conference, you will be asked to vote for someone. Words have MEANING, if not openly, then behind them. Demand to know what someone is asking of you before you sign on the dotted line. Ask questions...like why are we going backwards? Why are we only going backwards on this one topic? What is the NEXT thing you are going to ask us to go back on? When will it stop? What would Jesus do? Don't give them your vote, make them work for it.

Me? I'm going with Jesus the unorthodox Jew. If you really want to stir things up, vote for me to be a delegate. I'm a non-conformist by nature who believes in keeping my covenant with--AND my oath to uphold the Discipline.

And that's the gospel according to me!

JESUS IS WATCHING YOU!!

2011-02-28T09:06:00.008-05:00

Ok, so I've never been a fan of using the threats that Jesus is watching you to make you behave. He's ALWAYS watching you, knows who you are, what you're going to do before you do it, what's in your mind that you WISH you could do but won't, so it realy doesn't matter a whole lot and gives people the image of a Savior who is just waiting for you to screw up.

BUT, more importantly a threat SHOULD be: PEOPLE are watching you!

Sounds like a joke, but two Mexicans, 3 old men, and a redneck walk into a Hardees. It was downhill from there...

I don't actually know they were Mexicans and the redneck was not the good kind. The old men (who generally have my respect on sight) lost my respect early on--at least one of them did--the other two might be innocents.

After receiving my much reduced quantity breakfast (portion sizes are the focus now for me), I'm waiting in line to get my drink so I can eat slowly and read my paper. There are two young men, both with distinctive Latin American features standing in line ahead of me. One is just there tagging along apparently, while the other is fixing his coffee. They are taking their food out of the restaurant and it seems logical that the fella would have nowhere else to really fix his coffee and trying to do that while driving is a no no. I heard them talking--about eating healthier, exercising more, etc. While this should have no bearing on the story, I find it interesting to note--there was no accent discernible in either of their voices.

But dear God, this kid musta put 10 sugars in his coffee and he kept stirring and stirring and stirring. I was eager to just get my lid for my drink. I was standing in front of the soda fountain waiting my turn, when all of a sudden, I feel a shove--literally a shove! I turn and this grumpy old man--er, umm, this Senior Adult looking mad as hell. He said: "When I get cup of coffee, it's not a damn piece of art, I just drink it!" OK?

He started shoving me out of the way and reaching around me to fill his cup with ice and I said, "Sir, I'm trying to get out of your way, but I can't even move right now. If you'll give me a moment..." and he shoved me again to get his cup full of water. My food got wet from the splashing and ice poured onto my tray. Then he moved around to the other side of me and started trying to shove his way between me and the young man STILL stirring his coffee. I looked at him and said with a bit more inflection: "Sir, I'm trying really hard to get out of your way. Would you like to just go ahead of me?" He gritted his teeth and stared me down, but backed up a bit.

I got my lid and straw and made a beeline to a table. The young men moved down a bit while the one tried to get a lid on his coffee. Before I could open my food, along comes Redneck, who was at the moment, red faced--like angry red faced. I have no idea where he has been during this--it's the first I've seen of him as he stood OVER me at my table, shouting AT ME. He said, you know that kid should have known better than to tie up the whole damn line while he got his coffee fixed just right. He had no business holding up the line for LEGITIMATE customers. I don't know what he meant by legitimate and was quite frankly scared to ask--everyone in the store (including the two young men at the center of this) could hear his tirade. As Redneck turns to head toward the door, he shouts: "Did you see how much sugar he was getting? Probably a damn crackhead!" And with that he was gone. The two young men leave quickly, quietly, and politely.

Grumpy Old Man walks by my table and sits down with two other Senior Adult Males. He gives me the evil eye as he does, seeming very satisfied with the notion that Redneck might have been holding me accountable for Immigration problems, drug problems, generational gap issues, and the cost of gasoline, but he said nothing. I start reading my paper--it's my day off. I want to read my paper--really that 's all.

But Grumpy old man starts talking to his compadres (yes, I said it) in a voice so loud that it seemed staged. I don't think it was, but it seemed that way. First he trashed his preacher (who apparently was on sabbatical), then he trashed his church, which allowed said lazy preacher to take a sabbatical, plus they had too many people doing announcements, which caused him to be late getting out of church. Then he trashed people who go to the church, specifically anyone who has to get up during the service and excuse themselves. Just a head's up--he's planning to bring this up at the next Baptist Men's meeting--"if you can't sit still and worship for an hour, then stay home! We don't want you there."

Then he invited one of the other men to church.

Really.

He did.

I'm not kidding.

Stop laughing.

Seriously. He trashed his church, preacher, and fellow church members, then thought it was a good time to invite a friend to church. Lord, please save us from ourselves.

I was turning to the Local Section when Grumply Old Man got up to refill his coffee, at which time he decided to tell the others about the opening experience with the "boy" blocking the drink station. He proudly told the men after telling how he thought the BOY was rude (yes, laugh here): "He ain't from 'ah-roun-cheer' if you know what I mean!"

Soon the conversation turned to of all things the Book of Revelation. Grumpy Old Man says he has a hard time understanding all of it, but his favorite part is a sad part--that letter to the church at Ephesus. "That right there is what we need to remember, yes sir. That church ain't there anymore." That's sad. That part's clear as mud--yes sir--right sad."

Yes, it is sad. The church at Ephesus had a lot going for it, but forgot their first love! The had no love in fact. Wonder why this particular part of the Bible spoke to this man who had no love for anything about his church, his fellow Christians, or even his fellow human beings. Wonder why? hmmmmm

Ok, I'm rambling. Bullet points:

1. Redneck was and is an unfortunate reality in this world we are in and made a scene and left but the damage he did was FAR less than that of the old geezer who made sure everyone knew he was a Christian before acting like a horse's butt. (My wise old grandfather used to tell me there were more horses' butts in the world than there were horses. I miss my grandfather!)

2. Young men did nothing wrong, were as far as I can tell, just as "American" as the rest of us (which should have no bearing anyway) and were very polite even in the worst of situations.

3. Grumpy Old Man was a jerk, pure and simple.

4. Grumpy Old Man was an embarrassment to his friends.

5. Grumpy Old Man was a poor witness for his church. I won't say what church, but I will say THANK GOD he wasn't out there inviting people to my church!

6. Grumpy Old Man was a poor witness for Christ. Racist, self absorbed, judgmental, holier than thou, condescending, rude, hypocritical.

7. The sad thing is that EVEN IF you were to remind him that Jesus was watching him--he wouldn't see that Jesus would be a bit bothered by his behavior.

forget Jesus is watching. people are watching.

What you do and say when others know you are a Christian--well it matters!

And that's the Gospel according to ME

you wicked brood of vipers! Shame on you!

2011-02-22T20:24:00.007-05:00

OK my friends and fellow Christians (those who have heard and believed the story of Jesus' death and resurrection)...

STOP IT. STOP IT RIGHT NOW. You're wrong and you know it.

1. Barack Obama is not a citizen and therefore cannot be president
2. Barack Obama is a muslim marxist.
3. Bill Clinton is a closeted homosexual
4. Sarah Palin is not Trigg's mother
5. Sarah Palin is so dumb said she could see Russia from her back yard.
6. Nancy Pelosi has a secret lesbian lover
7. John McCain was not really a war hero
8. George W. Bush secretly never learned to read
9. Dick Cheney was secretly in charge of the White House for the first four years in office.
10. George W. Bush was behind 9/11

etc. etc. etc.

STOP IT.

I have seen each of the above on the Internet. Really I have. Or some I've had emailed to me. And I've seen many more just like them. I'm sick to death of CHRISTIANS on both side of the Political AISLE participating in Internet GOSSIP and washing their hands to feign innocence because Hell, I read it online or in an email or I "heard about it somewhere."

What's worse, some of my good friends would read me the riot act if I were to believe something about their side or their political golden child, but they post stuff without checking facts as long as it is about someone they ALREADY don't like or don't agree with.

In particular, the VITRIOL against Sarah Palin or Barack Obama. BOTH sides should be ashamed of themselves--period. In both cases, you are speaking of someone who, like you, claims JESUS as their Lord and Savior. You are gossiping about a fellow Christian and that's plain and simple--a sin.

When a friend actually SAID publicly that Sarah Palin was such an idiot that she even claimed Russia to be in sight of her back yard, it took all in my power not to retort: "yeah, well you are such an idiot you can't tell the difference between Sarah Palin and Tina Fey." Palin never said it--never--not once. What she DID say was that from parts of Alaska you can see Russia--a FACT not in dispute. AND if you go look up what she said when she said it, you will discover she said it at an appropriate time and the statement was relevant to the discussion at hand. A few days later, Tina Fey gave the infamous line on Saturday Night Live (which Palin enjoyed and thought was funny), but then IDIOTS began to circulate and actually BELIEVE Palin in FACT said it--WRONG. You think believing that makes you look SMARTER than the birthers? Really? And don't even get me started about the insensitive nature of publicly spreading the rumor that her own son is not hers. And why is it that when she is attacked for being a working mother that the LEFT isn't lining up to defend her? Hypocrites!

Similarly, when my friends on the other end of the political spectrum try to start that crap that President Obama isn't really a citizen OR a Christian--what a joke you make yourself out to be--yes--you, not Obama. There is not one SHRED of evidence to deny either his citizenship OR his self professed faith in Jesus Christ, yet you continue to deny both because, ah gasp, you saw it on the Internet. Some yahoo says Barack Obama is an "A-Rab" who secretly wants to infuse both radical Islam AND Marxism into our beloved country and you fall for it? Who's the real Yahoo here. Do you REALLY think someone could be elected President of The United States of America if there was EVEN ONE TINY LITTLE BIT OF PROOF? Here's a clue--when it turned out that the character played by Mel Gibson in Conspiracy Theory was right--it was FICTION--a MOVIE. Don't be so gullible you fall it. Why are you so eager to believe anything negative someone says about him? Is your heart so filled with hatred that you deny him the respect he deserves as a fellow Christian? Really? My conservative friends would be first in line to defend Palin when someone attacks her faith or her patriotism, but you not only allow those attacks on Obama, you participate in them? Really? Hypocrites!

And you know what--both of these groups smugly try to claim superiority against the other by denouncing them as falling for anything they read, bearing false witness, and gossip, all the while doing the same thing.

Shame on YOU--all of you who practice this behavior. You are NOT helping the cause of Jesus Christ by acting this way and THAT is supposed to be our mission.

We are not all going to agree on political, social, exegetical, hermeneutical, theological, doctrinal, or spiritual issues. You might not be able to single handedly stop these stupid internet rumors, but by God, you can do your part and refuse to contribute to the spread of gossip. Surely we can, as brothers and sisters in Christ agree to do that?

/rant

And that's the gospel according to me

WHAT IF the church grew a pair?

2011-02-18T09:32:00.005-05:00

Ok, now that I have your attention, keep in mind the first thought you had when you saw the title! We'll come back to that later.

What I really mean is: What if the church grew a pair of legs? The age of Constantine did us no favor in providing The Church with enough legitimacy to actually build and maintain ornate structures to inhabit--yes, we now inhabit them rather than use them as a home base for our ministry and mission.

Yes, I BELIEVE they were built (even the absolutely stunning one where I pastor and preach) "to the glory of God." I get that--really I do. But the long term damage is what we are left with today in the decline and looming death of our churches.

As I said, I LOVE my church building--this place brings a sense of peace, of God's presence and majesty--a holiness that I have rarely found elsewhere, but as I ponder of late being in the same predicament as so many other churches in our country with the economy, I scratch my head and wonder at the way we have become trapped by it's beauty and awe. The four walls surrounding our sanctuary keep out the elements and protect the beauty within, but they also serve as a permanent barrier--keeping US in and THEM out. EVEN when we are not physically being kept in, financially, we are imprisoned--unable to escape our burden of responsibility to maintain our structures.

The economic turn is not affecting us any more really than other churches, in fact maybe not so bad as some, but it is affecting us. As our saints move to the church triumphant and are replaced by a younger generation not raised as tithers (generally speaking) and as the unemployment rates hit 11% last year ( http://www.city-data.com/city/Kannapolis-North-Carolina.html ), giving in general is down across the board.

Yet despite the economy our building is aging and has needs that must be dealt with to be good stewards of what we have. Additionally, in better economic times, we built a wonderful new building to house our Child Care Program and provide a great place for Christian Fellowship and Gatherings--but we're still paying for it.

During the time I have been the pastor here we have spent over $400,000 on things like: Mortgage, AC/heating upgrades, carpet and flooring upgrades, parsonage upgrades, new roof and gutters for parsonage, general repairs, new parking lot, utilities, (projecting a new copier any day), janitor and yard work, and miscellaneous other items. That's over $9,000 per month and I believe I was being conservative with my estimates. (Our church has a membership of about 225 and attendance around 100 average per Sunday--but Thank God we are growing!)

Now before I give someone a heart attack, let me say a few things as disclaimers: 1) we had financial income from grants and from the Child Care that pay for a portion of these things, and 2) As I SAID, these things are necessary in order to be good stewards of our property. It's not that this money was wasted, in fact there is a lot more spending that needs to be done. The main facilities and parsonage here are nearing the 60 year mark and well, let's face it, things have to be maintained or they will crumble.

BUT imagine (yes, really try to IMAGINE IT) a church that had legs and traveled the countryside as Jesus did, taking the ministry of the Church directly TO the least, the last, and the lost. What IF we could harness at a minimum that same amount of money to actually DO church rather than trying to maintain A BUILDING we CALL the church? What if...

The 2009 poverty statistics for our city show 10.5% living at the poverty level or below with 5% living at 50% of the poverty level or below ( http://www.city-data.com/city/Kannapolis-North-Carolina.html ). Too many of the kids where MY children go to school often go without meals for weekends or over Christmas, Spring, or Summer breaks because they can't afford food in their homes. Free or reduced lunch is the norm at these schools while we make sure our clean, industrial style kitchen sits unused 6 days out of 7 most weeks. What if...

The only regularly scheduled use of that kitchen is to serve meals to the community to make money with which to pay the mortgage. Hmm, we are told to work 6 days and take one off--don't we have that backwards? Should we not devote at least as much of our energy there in ministry rather than maintenance? Couldn't we prepare meals for the hungry children at least once a week? What if...

What is the purpose of the church? That's really what it should boil down to. I believe our church must exist for multiple reasons:
1. First and foremost biblically is to GO AND MAKE DISCIPLES (please note and emphasize the word "GO.")
The rest are in no particular order and I've done that on purpose
-To Worship and praise God
-To nurture, educate and care for the Body of Christ, eg: our members and missionaries across the world
-To BE the hands, feet, and MOUTH of Christ--caring for the poor, oppressed, underprivileged, needy, lost, suffering, wandering, depressed, children of God.
What if...

How on earth can we do that in a gilded cage?

WHAT IF we actually did it? What if we (as the church) actually DID go and sell all our possessions, give the proceeds to the poor, and decided to follow Jesus--out there--where the mission field is? What if we actually decided to show our financial priorities were the same as our stated mission--to GO and make disciples? What if we just downsized--moved to a big open warehouse space--a place to worship and a place to gather--a place to learn--a place to serve as a base of operations for actually going out there, using the huge amounts of extra cash to DO church? What if...

What if? Well, I believe for all of us--myself included, in order to grow a pair of legs to do that kind of walking, well, the church might just have to grow a pair first...

What if...

And that's the Gospel According to Me...

STICK A FORK IN ME--I'M DONE

2011-01-19T12:53:00.015-05:00

it's 2011.
The seniors and their families want me to spend the majority of my time in visitation with them--and they are right--it's the most important ministry of the church.

The youth and their families want me to spend the majority of my time building those programs--and they are right--it's the most important ministry of the church--they ARE our future afterall.

One group wants me dedicated to maintaining the traditions they love and grew up with, while the other wants me to push forward, be progressive, and embrace the future unashamed. Both are right! I should do that!

The Sunday School class wants me to teach most Sundays and they are right, it's the most important ministry of the church.

Those with sickness and pending or recent deaths in the household want me to visit and call and write encouraging cards and letters daily and ignore the other ministries as their needs are paramount--and they are right--who else should expect ministry from the pastor more than these?

The Worship Committee wants me to spend the majority of my time preparing for worship and sermons--and they are right--it's the most important thing I do.

The Staff Parish Committee wants me to grow the church and spend my time focused on that--and they are right--it's the most important part of my job.

The United Methodist Men want me to dedicate my time revamping and growing their program---but without making ANY changes--and they are right--it's the most important ministry we have.

The Senior Adult group wants me to spend the majority of my days off preparing for and attending their meetings--and they should--it's the most important ministry we have going.

The Finance Committee wants me to preach on tithing more, but don't preach about money too much--it runs people off.

The congregation wants our church to be more financially secure, but please don't harp on money so much (once a year is too much?)

Those who gather to hear a "Word from the Lord" want me to step on some more toes, but not their own. Those who do want me to step on their own toes more react the same way when I do--they say, "You sure told them!"

Preach more on Hellfire and Brimstone. I don't feel like I've been to church unless someone has told me I'm going to hell. But heaven help the preacher who tells THAT one about their own sins.

The Trustees and Parsonage Committee (and a few of the old men sitting around the kitchen) want to know why I didn't spend my time shoveling snow last week--a good preacher would have done it! And they want me to clean the gutters, cut the grass, plant gardens, trim the bushes, and figure out how to fix anything that breaks on grounds--and they're right--it would really save us some money and them some time--surely the most important thing I could be doing--PLUS ( I was actually told this) this is the "kind of church where the people like to see their preacher sweat!"--(I thought that's why they turned the heat up on Sundays! Who knew!)

My D.S wants my paperwork done on time--and she's right--it's the most important thing I do.

My Bishop wants "dashboard" indicators all in line to show a smoothly running ministry, and of course, he's right--that's the most important thing I do (HE IS the bishop)

The families with small children want me to do more children's moments, spend more time building that program up.

The families of the church want me to plan more programs for families, but they are not going to come help

The choir wants me to sing with them. Families want me to go to their family reunions. People want me to visit their sons, grandchildren, neighbors, coworkers, sisters, nephews--all who are having severe psychological issues and need counseling--but, no, they won't go visit with me. And everyone wants me to be fully available just five minutes before worship so they can complain, vent, share, cry, give me announcements, etc. and heaven help me if I forget or politely tell them to write it down for me.

My friends and co workers want me to participate in group meetings, accountability groups, combined ministries, etc as this is the embodiment of our connectional system and they are right--it's mightily important and I should focus my energies there.

My District and the Discipline expect me to be in service to District and Conference committees, mentoring and befriending new candidates for ministry and that is the most important thing I could do for the future of the church.

My wife, my children, and more importantly GOD want me to be the best husband and father I can be and they are right. Nothing IS more important than those things.

My seminary professors and my doctor want me to take care of myself and say no more to all of the above and they are right. If I don't do that, nothing else gets done!

And so, I do the best I can and please almost no one--THAT is the way life is--the lot I've chosen, the cards I've been dealt. Either get involved and help or jump on the bandwagon complaining I don't get it all done, but don't just stand there--you're in the way!

Most of my time, I'm a firefighter putting out the flames of discontent from a few who genuinely seem to enjoy making others miserable.

I resolve this year:

I am NOT going to spend this year dealing with the insanity of church killers who are trying to kill me in the process.

I am NOT going to spend my time in ridiculous fights over small accusations and silly character assassination attempts (interesting that "ass" is in that word twice) made by silly small-minded people.

I am NOT going to waste my energy trying to disprove rumors and lies about me that are taking me away from my GOD ordained task of ministering to these people.

I AM going to unapologetically make sure that the doors to the church are open to all who will come--PERIOD--regardless of your accent, national origin, ethnicity, race, denominational or religious background or lack there of, regardless of who you love, your gender, sexual identity or any other means of segregating God's children--PERIOD.

I AM going to unapologetically teach that the love of Christ and the grace of God trump all judgment. Wesley called his theology Grace upon Grace--I will not allow Judgment upon Judgment to reign in our halls or worship services.

I AM going to unapologetically preach the love of Christ as real and active in this world, but ONLY if we are going to be the hands and feet of Christ to our neighbors.

I AM going to unapologetically lead the church beyond the walls--to boldly go where no one from this church has gone before--out there with real people with real needs.

Gossip kills but Jesus heals--THIS we will preach and practice.

I AM going to unapologetically shake the dust from my sandals with those who continue to spread hate and fear, rumors and lies, disunity, and gossip at every turn. I will love them as required and then some, but I will waste no time trying to persuade them, cajole them, corral them, rebuke them, exclude them, or include them. They are busy adding crap to the pot and stirring it. I leave them to choke on the swill they have created if they choose to continue in this path.

I have a mission--I have been called by God, baptized, confirmed, affirmed, licensed, commissioned, and ordained by the church, and sent by the Bishop and cabinet. I AM where I belong and I WILL with gladness and joy carry out my mission to the best of my ability. I'm done with the rest!

I am your pastor! I covet your prayers and pray for your compassion and patience with me as I try my best to do God's will in ministry to you and others. I pray you will join me in the mission field--should be fun!

By the way--I've been writing this for years--literally--mostly in my head, but some notes. So this is NOT a statement about one church or any person (persons), just a combination of all I've picked up over the years. So, as I've said before talking about sermons--if you see yourself in there, it's not me, it's God talking!

yes, I said I was coming out of the closet (part 2)

2010-03-18T11:00:00.001-04:00

continued from below!!!!
At my new church, I very quickly had a visitor--a young man just finished up his junior year in high school. He was what I now refer to as a refugee from the other church. Don't get me wrong. I love the pastor there dearly and the church is doing great things, but some of the policies, whether official or unofficial have led people (I call them refugees) to feel disenfranchised, judged, alienated and unwelcome. I know it is more than one as there have been several who have come to our church--each with their own "sins" that the other church has had an issue with.

He told me that he wanted to have a church where he could serve God and in His understanding(to be fair to the other church I must say, "In HIS understanding" as I have not talked to the pastor personally about it)he could not do that at his church. While I knew what the issue was specifically, it took about six months before he actually told me what was going on. He said he was gay, had told his family and they took him to the preacher. All agreed he could no longer participate in the leadership areas of the church until he dealt with this "sin" in his life. He was singing, playing piano for worship, on the trustees, a leader of the youth group, in charge of the preparation for the coffee, etc. for the welcoming group, etc.

Now imagine. A fifteen year old is told by his church that he cannot serve God as long as he is trying to be true to WHO he is. I simply cannot imagine a youth that age that would find his own way to another church and risk it all over again because he WANTED to serve God--most I fear would simply drop out as so many of the younger generation do--NOT HIM, he kept coming, he got involved and soon was assisting with worship by sharing his gifts.

I should do the Paul Harvey thing now and add the "rest of the story." When this young man was still in his mother's womb, there was a complication towards the end of her pregnancy and she was in the hospital for a long time fearing that she might lose the baby and even her life. I happened to know her. She was like my "other momma" growing up in the church. I remember VIVIDLY going to the hospital during that time with a good friend of mine to visit her. We laid hands on her belly, reaching out to this little baby and to God. I remember specifically that we prayed NOT ONLY that he would live, but that he would grow up and SERVE GOD.

Oh, the irony. Here was a young man doing exactly what we had prayed he would do before he was even born and another church was standing in the way. When his life was on the line, we didn't pray he would grow up and be straight, we prayed he would grow up and serve God. And here in front of my face was evidence that God was answering that prayer faithfully and yet THE CHURCH said, "NO, not the way you are. Change (repent) and THEN you can serve God, but God doesn't want your service the way you are." How terribly sad.

I wept over it. His commitment and dedication to his faith, in spite of his FAITH community astounded me. I sincerely WEPT at the devotion and what God was doing in his life. He will never know how much his commitment to God affected me and so many others. He changed our church. He changed me. And I am grateful for life.
Our church welcomed him and loved him with open arms! I wept some more. And then Oh My! "They" started coming out of the woodwork ;~]. It seemed everywhere I looked, we had a visitor who was homosexual or a long time church member who would tell me they were gay or someone would tell me their son or grandson or cousin or sister was homosexual. I was amazed at the sheer number of people in our society and especially in our churches that are touched in one way or another by having someone they love in the homosexual community. One of my church members began to call me "The Gay Magnet." (He meant it in a nice way, lol.)

I was forced to confront a lot of the issues I swore I never had. I was forced to re-examine my fast held notions about right and wrong, The Bible and its interpretation, and of course my views on the subject as it relates to politics.

As I found myself drawn closer and closer to some of these gay and lesbian friends (and they are truly my friends) I was able to see the love they have for God in their lives. I have witnessed first hand the fruits of their ministry as homosexual Christians answering God's call to serve and to love. I have seen the gifts and graces God has given them. Having these folk fully integrated into the church (membership, leadership, assisting with worship, etc) was a no brainer for me. God's children called to serve God and worship God in God's church that Jesus, through his death, opened up to persons of all types for all time?--done.

My thoughts of the Biblical exegesis and hermeneutics on the topic of Homosexuality, Sin, The Bible, and The Church will have to wait for another topic altogether, but what of the politics side of things? How does what I believe and support fit with what I preach?
so we have to wait for part 3...hopefully not as long this time...