The Great Monkey Suit

Christina Hendricks is a Fan of Her Own Boobs

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Suit) — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 18:14:00 +0000

As is clear with this photo from an upcoming issue of Cosmopolitan UK. In the issue she discusses meeting her husband and other talking that nobody cares about when you squeeze your huge melons into a dress like that. Via The Daily Mail:

Hendricks and Arend met in 2007 when they were introduced by her Mad Men co-star Vincent Kartheiser and she found herself immediately drawn to him.

She recalls to the March issue of the UK edition of Cosmopolitan: 'Geoffrey walked in and I was like, ‘Who is this guy?’ He had amazing hair and was all dishevelled - he was running late and everyone was waiting for him. He just came in with this very high energy.

'He was just charming, funny and very magnetic. I got his number that night under the pretence of, "We could just be friends." And of course I immediately went home and Googled him.'

Sweet she's a stalker too. Another reason to give her the thumbs up.

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Charlize Theron Slaps Dicks Off in Vanity Fair Shoot

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Suit) — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 18:05:00 +0000

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Today's Warm Release

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Suit) — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 17:00:00 +0000

Surpise! Rick’s Cabaret New York Girls Pick Giants To Win Super Bowl XLVI- Busted Coverage

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Don't Mess With These Sisters They Make You Drink Urine

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Suit) — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 13:46:00 +0000

And when one wants to bang you, you better bang her or get your dick grabbed with pliers. Via The Smoking Gun:

When he finished ingesting the urine, the victim told investigators that Bartkey told him to go to a downstairs bedroom. He said he agreed “because he was scared and didn’t want anything else damaged.” She then told him “you better take your clothes off or I’m gonna take a pair of scissors to your pants.”

After briefly departing the bedroom, the sisters returned. Bartkey was carrying a pair of pliers, and Johnson had a belt in her hands. The victim said that Bartkey warned that he had better do what they say “or else.”

Bartkey, the teenager said, got undressed and said she wanted to have sex with him. When he declined, the victim recalled, Bartkey “pulled on and twisted his penis with the pliers.” The teen said that “his penis hurt and he was afraid that Amanda was going to hit him with the belt.” He added that, on a scale of one to 10, “the pain to his penis was a 10.”

That's the type of pain we are constantly warning you about on this site. Although we are referring to self inflicted pain you get the point. The dick can only take so much.

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It's Groundhog's Day

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Suit) — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 13:40:00 +0000

At 7:25 a.m. this morning, amidst mostly cloudy skies, and temperatures in the low 30s, Groundhog Phil saw his shadow in the little town of Punxsutawney, Pa.

According to folklore, Phil’s sighting of his own shadow means there will be 6 more weeks of winter. Had Phil not seen his shadow, it would have meant “there will be an early spring.”

If Phil’s forecast is right, it signals a dramatic reversal from the mild weather pattern affecting much of the country. Many parts of the central and eastern U.S. have seen temperatures 20 to 30 degrees above normal in recent days. On February 1, just 19% of the Lower 48 had snow cover compared to 52% at this time last year.

Story Here

So for those of you who think a dumbass animal can predict the weather prepare for a longer winter while I break out the shorts cause spring is right around the corner.

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We Like Short Shorts and So Does Ashley Tisdale

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Suit) — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 13:26:00 +0000

Ashley Tisdale was seen shopping at Planet Blue in Beverly Hills on Wednesday, and was looking particularly boho chic.

More Pics Here

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Katy Perry To Perform At The Grammys and The Links of The Day

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Suit) — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 20:23:00 +0000

Katy Perry CONFIRMED To Perform At 2012 Grammys- I Need My Fix

The Founder of Soul Train Don Cornelius Commits Suicide at 75- Gossip We Love

Snooki Is Pregnant- The Daily Crabbie

The Rutgers Cheerleaders' Red Dresses- College Cheerleader Heaven

Aaron and Nick Carter’s Sister Leslie Dead at 25- Evil Beet Gossip

Olivia Wilde Side Boob Theater- Celebrity Rant

Nicki Minaj ‘Stupid Hoe’ Video Banned From BET- Diva Artist

Heidi Klum opens up about Seal- ICYDK

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Gwyneth Paltrow In Harper's Bazaar

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Suit) — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 18:30:00 +0000

Holy Shit do see how hot of a chick she is man. Now if we can only get her to keep her mouth shut. Well mostly shut...all but the part about an open marriage. Via The Superficial:

On knowing when it’s time to start a 12-week detox regimen:
“I’ll wake up exhausted; I can feel my adrenal cortex being really high. When I get into bed, my heart will pound, my skin won’t be good, I’ll feel cranky, and then I’ll just know it’s time.”

On Apple probably being a lesbian (Alternate Heading: Suck it, January Jones):
“I’ve been saving my clothes for her since before she was born. I was like, I’ll bet you anything I’ll have a daughter, and she’ll be a really cool butch lesbian and be so above clothes, and I got a very clothes-obsessed child. So if she’s a lesbian, she’s a lipstick lesbian.”

On how she’s super seriously friends with Beyonce:
Gwyneth was watching by the side of the stage with Jay-Z and testifies to the fact that her friend’s performance was punctuated by the miserable side effects of early pregnancy: “She was absolutely incredible, especially as she was barfing in between.”

And another huge hint that she’s probably cheating on Chris Martin:
“The older I get, the more open-minded I get, the less judgmental I get. Life is long. I have friends who I love and admire who have had an affair. When I was younger, I would have said he’s a terrible person or she’s a terrible person. But who made these laws?”

Other laws Gwyneth Paltrow wants to know the makers of:

- Not owning slaves. “It would totes strengthen my bond with Bey. Totes strenthen.”
- Not hunting the poor. “They need the exercise.”
- Gravity. “I spend 12-weeks shitting herbal laxative. I deserve to fly, goddammit!”

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Today's Warm Release

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Suit) — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 17:00:00 +0000

Tehmeena Afzal (@MISSMEENA) Giants Bodypaint Super Bowl Special- Black Sports Online

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Adele to Perform at the Grammys

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Suit) — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 13:27:00 +0000

This year the Grammys is going to be renamed the Adele Awards as she is expected to walk away a huge winner and now she'll be performing. It should be interesting to see if anybody else bothers to show. I wish I had something bad to say about her but I don't I'm actually a big fan. Get'em girl. Via The New York Times:

Adele will perform at the Grammy Awards on Feb. 12, making her first appearance since undergoing throat surgery last fall, the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences announced on Tuesday.

“It’s an absolute honor to be included in such a night, and for it to be my first performance in months is very exciting and of course nerve-racking,” the British singer and songwriter said in a statement.

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Bar Refaeli Slapping Dicks Off in Italy

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Suit) — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 13:20:00 +0000

You have been warned before, take it easy. Use caution and only look at the pics with one eye at a time. If you attempt to gaze with both eyes you will have an uncontrollable urge to choke something leading to genital injury. Via Pick Me Up News:

Between trips around Europe, the supermodel Bar Refaeli has found time for an appearance in Italian “Chiambretti Sunday Show.” Last night, Leonardo Di Caprio‘s sexy ex-girlfriend chose a floral dress for the evening which left her perfect legs uncovered. Certainly it was really a treat for Piero Chiambretti to have in its program a supertopmodel whom, in fact until yesterday had never been a guest on an Italian television program.

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Kristen Bell Loses Her Mind Over A Sloth

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Suit) — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 13:03:00 +0000

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Steve-O is Banging Elisabetta Canalis

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Suit) — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 20:23:00 +0000

That's right she went from George Clooney to Steve-O. Well fellas do you feel any better you definitely have a shot with Elisabetta. Via TMZ:

The mystery is over ... Steve-O and Elisabetta Canalis are DEFINITELY more than friends ... and yesterday they engaged in a little mouth-on-mouth PDA to prove it.

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ScarJo Gots a New Man

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Suit) — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 18:00:00 +0000

And holy shit he looks like a Russian mobster or some shit. Dude looks like a guy that doesn't play. Via TooFab:

The 27-year-old actress, who was briefly linked to Sean Penn after her divorce from Ryan Reynolds, stepped out with a mystery man -- holding hands with him and smiling over the weekend together in New York.

While we don't know who he is yet, he's definitely a good looking guy ... and who appears to be a bit older than ScarJo.

Oh man I hope he's the dude I've made him to be in my mind, he is like a hit man or something that would be awesome. All broken English but just works dudes constantly. Damn I might have a man crush.

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Simon Fires Almost Everyone on X Factor

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Suit) — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 17:02:00 +0000

Maybe the shows 12.4 million viewing average played a part as Simon had proudly predicted a 20 million viewer average for the first season. No word on any replacements. Via Deadline.com:

Today at The X Factor there was a bloodbath which just claimed its biggest name. Not only are host Steve Jones and judge Nicole Scherzinger exiting from the Fox show, but now a Simon Cowell insider just told me that his longtime friend and American Idol colleague Paula Abdul won’t be returning as an X Factor judge next season.

Is it really a shocker? Simon and Paula have had a love hate relationship since the very beginning and right now it seems to be on the hate side.

No word on whether or not his tight ass shirts will be returning for another season or not.

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Today's Warm Release

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Suit) — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 17:00:00 +0000

Candice Swanepoel Bikini Pictures in St. Barts- Egotastic

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Demi Moore's 911 Tape

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Suit) — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 16:00:00 +0000

012712 moore 911 v2 by Egotastic

So by now you've probably already heard Demi Moore's 911 tape if you haven't here it is and if you did listen again. The people calling are very concerned as Demi is said to be convulsing and unable to speak. Lay off that incense BS it will mess you're ass up.

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The Best Part of Jessica Simpson's Pregnancy

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Suit) — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 15:00:00 +0000

Her Growing Chest!

Her chest is getting outrageously large as is the rest of her. i wouldn't be surprised if she has a litter. More Pics Here

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Kim Kardashian Shows Off Her New Hair Color, I Think

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Suit) — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 14:18:00 +0000

Ahhh notorious fame whore Kim Kardashian sure knows how to stir up some publicity. As she tweets a pic of her new "hair color" or cleavage pic.

What is she freaking kidding nobody is looking at your hair when you are showing that much cleavage. I didn't notice any color difference maybe because I can't stop staring at her jugs.

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The Milwaukee Bucks Dancer Have Something to Show You

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Suit) — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 14:00:00 +0000

They give it all they got and try as they might their vag's stay covered up. One day the almighty beaver will break free for all to see. More pics of their valiant effort here.

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Bow Wow Barks About Smashing Kim K and Angela Simmons

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Suit) — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 13:00:00 +0000

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Woman Dumps Man Because He Has Cancer, Still Wants His Super Bowl Tickets

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Suit) — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 12:00:00 +0000

Jason Elia, a television writer living in Nashville, went to the trouble of getting Super Bowl tickets for himself and his girlfriend and was even going to propose to her at the game on Christmas, but life got in the way. He was diagnosed with bladder cancer and upon hearing the news, his girlfriend apparently dumped him on the spot.

Story Here

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Che Blaq's Interview with Gossip We Love

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Suit) — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 01:59:00 +0000

Bringing people together, it's what we do her at The Great Monkey Suit and this is proof. So we sent over Che Blaq's website and music videos to our partner site Gossip We Love and what happened next was what this site is all about. OK maybe not but Gossip We Love did put together an interview so watch it.

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Demi Was Smoking K2 Spice and The Links of The Day

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Suit) — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 20:00:00 +0000

Demi Moore Was Smoking K2 Spice With Rumer- The Superficial

20 Signs That Europe Is Plunging Into A Full-Blown Economic Depression- Fist A Goat

Selena Gomez Goes Streaking- Celeb Gurlz

Katie Price upskirt, panties photo- Celebrity Rant

Finally Some Love For The Murray State Racers- College Cheerleader Heaven

GWL EXCLUSIVE: Che Blaq Talks About How It Is As A Musician In The Music Game- Gossip We Love

Why the CIA got in the Animated Film Business- Cobb_Report

Nicolas Cage is still doing Movies- Diva Artist

Safe House with Ryan Reynolds, Denzel Washington- I Need My Fix

Brangelina's Brats Want them to Tie The Knot- The Daily Crabbie

They Wore That to the 2012 SAG Awards?- Evil Beet Gossip

Hey Ladies Jon Gosselin is single again- ICYDK

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Is Miley Cyrus Engaged?

noreply@blogger.com (Monkey Suit) — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 18:00:00 +0000

Man I think if dude got a look at Miley's white trash carnival get up he might ask for the ring back. Shit I guess the saying is right- you can take the girl out of the trailer park but you can't take the trailer park out of the girl.

I'd like to say that I bothered to read the story to find out if she is in fact engaged but then again I'd like to say a lot of things. So if you just gotta know(and i'm sure you do) the story is Here.

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