The Great Movie Project

Flashback to the 90s: Inventing the Abbotts (1997)

2014-07-24T19:20:00.000-04:00

R, 116 min. Directed by: Pat O'Connor. Release Date: Apr 04, 1997. DVD Release Date: Mar 13, 2001.

****REPOSTED FROM THE LATE LATE SHOW WITH NEW EDITS AND COMMENTS****

Occasionally dry, but with a host of great characters leave this small town movie worth watching.

Every once in a while, I find a movie set in a small town an amazing piece of character work. Most recently, I happened upon 1947's Peyton Place which was not only INSANELY risqué by the standards of the time, but a masterpiece of weaving all these unique characters together. For me, Inventing the Abbotts runs along the same mien, and even has some of the same risqué discussions, although the 50 real years that separates the production of these movies dims that a bit. The writer was able to use a fairly traditional small town setting to create a sort of tapestry out of the relationships between two families: the Holts and the Abbotts. While there's significant back story that isn't shown, it all seems to work well.

The ensemble cast here is fairly well conceived, although it seems that in many cases that they were after a certain "type" more than a certain skill… but in truth I feel that way about Liv Tyler every time I see her. She's a spot on choice for a beautiful girl that doesn't require a lot of real acting.
When we're not watching Billy Cruddup actively despoil the Abbott sisters and pretty much destroy any sense of healthy relationship with his family because of his blatant inability to use his brain when making a decision, there's really not all that much going on. Improved editing would have minimized lulls in the story.

It's a hard choice between Jennifer Connolly's eyebrows and Joaquim Phoenix's hair lip scar, but I'm leaning toward the brows.

Flashback to the 90s: Threesome (1994)

2014-07-23T19:13:00.000-04:00

R, 93 min. Directed by: Andrew Fleming. Release Date: Apr 08, 1994. DVD Release Date: May 01, 2001.

****REPOSTED FROM THE LATE LATE SHOW WITH NEW EDITS AND COMMENTS****

Funny and sexy, this movie explores how endlessly changing and complicated a friendship can become.

My praise should be tempered with reality: this is not high-brow, intelligently written comedy. This is trashy and sleazy in a way the creators of Porky's would have applauded. The movie is laced with sexual innuendo and double entendres to the point where Terry Pratchett, one of my favorite authors, might have said that they made a double entendre out of innuendo. Silly as it is, this movie is genuinely funny in a way that's a bit out of keeping with modern comedies.

The story explores how muddled friendships can be between men and women, and even between men when one of those men is gay. While the interplay is exaggerated, even under the best of circumstances, I think the root of the problem, confusing friendship for sexual attraction or love, is real enough. I also think the setting was well-timed. College, and those years in the late teens and early twenties are when we push the boundaries set by our parents and really experiment with our identities. This movie probably wouldn't work even if the characters were a few years older.

Despite all this, I think the cast is somewhat weak. Throughout the movie, there are times when it seems like they're not acting, like this is their personality shining through the personality of the character they're supposed to be playing. It's not constant, but it does happen, and it detracts significantly from the overall performance.

Flashback to the 90s: She's All That (1999)

2014-07-22T19:10:00.000-04:00

PG-13, 95 min. Directed by: Robert Iscove. Release Date: Jan 29, 1999. DVD Release Date: Jan 15, 2002.

****REPOSTED FROM THE LATE LATE SHOW WITH NEW EDITS AND COMMENTS****

Fun and hip, this is the grand dame of the modern teen film genre.

She's All That was the film that started, or I should say "restarted" my interest in the teen film genre. It is, for the most part, the pattern that all teen films since have been based on. There's nothing totally unfamiliar, but it has the distinction of being the first film to use this kind of pattern since the late 1980s.

Despite a story that's been beaten to death by Hollywood, this movie has a special place in my heart. It never fails to make me smile, and I love the cast... even Freddie Prinze, Jr. was good here, and I don't send many compliments toward Mr. Sarah Michelle Gellar. This is fun and frisky, and it's got a freaking Oscar-winner on the cast, what more can you ask? If you're struggling, Anna Paquin was the youngest human to ever win an Academy Award for her role in The Piano. You might wonder how you go from that to teen flicks to being a B squad mutant, as do I. After much soul-searching, I figure we can chalk it up to life sucking when you peak at 7.

I will say that this probably won’t hold up well if you weren’t a teenager in the 90s… although I grudgingly admit that most of these teen flicks have commonalities regardless of what decade they were made in.

Flashback to the 90s: Clueless (1995)

2014-07-21T19:04:00.000-04:00

PG-13, 1 hr. 37 min. Directed by: Amy Heckerling. Release Date: Jul 21, 1995. DVD Release Date: Oct 19, 1999.

****REPOSTED FROM THE LATE LATE SHOW WITH NEW EDITS AND COMMENTS****

Ridiculous and stereotype-enforcing, but still pretty funny.

I remember seeing this in the theaters. It was the summer before I went away to college and I was there with two friends, Todd and Jennifer, who were kind of waffling on the verge of dating. I think this was the last time they spent any time together, but all three of us could quote this movie still when I saw them again in December.

The biggest problem here is the language. When this movie came out in theaters, I was 18 and from southern California. I only actually understand about 60% of the dialogue. However, "buggin," "crimson wave," and "as if" succeeded where "fetch" from Mean Girls did not. They actually found some use in slang. While the dialogue is often hard to understand, even with the ambiguity it's funny.

I mention this movie is stereotype-enforcing, and I say this because Cluelessseems to have felt the need to fill the vacuum that the death of 90210left behind. It portrays American teens as mindless, selfish and spoiled drones incapable of communicating with the world around them and utterly unconcerned about it.

Once you get through the crap, this movie cracks me up. Alicia Silverstone was perfect for the role of Cher, and her chemistry with Paul Rudd makes for some great exchanges throughout the film.

Brittany Murphy was well, Brittany Murphy, but it works in the movie. The cast is very funny, and the antics they get involved are, I think, semi-realistic for American teens. Sex, drugs, drinking, parties, etc. There's nothing to revealing or far-fetched here except that most of these kids are packing Visa Platinums with no preset limit.

Flashback to the 90s: Kiss the Girls (1997)

2014-07-20T19:02:00.000-04:00

R, 117 min. Directed by: Gary Fleder. Release Date: Oct 03, 1997. DVD Release Date: Oct 06, 1998.

****REPOSTED FROM THE LATE LATE SHOW WITH NEW EDITS AND COMMENTS****

Intense, gritty, and edgy, this is the stuff that all thrillers should be made of.

Kiss the Girls' greatest strength was whichever person was in charge of creating the ambiance for the scenes. The person was a freaking genius. It's rare for a film to be able to manage so much suspense without pushing the line into something that's actually frightening. Lighting, set design, and the background score were very subtle and well done, and the three together probably saved this movie from the fate of the other Robert Patterson novels that have been adapted to film.

It's also slightly hard to fail if you add Morgan Freeman into the cast. Sure, it's happened. Yes, I've seen Along Came a Spider, Prince of Thieves,AND Bruce Almighty. Morgan Freeman's mere presence seems to provide an air of legitimacy to whatever he does. Shit, what would Wanted have been without him? A meager action flick with a strange ensemble cast, that's what.

But seriously, this is a great suspenseful story. It gives us a little bit of everything we crave from a crime thriller: a raving psychopath, marginally realistic police work; at least, as marginally real as TV or big screen police work ever gets, a victim turned hero, and incredible interplay between the characters. There is a lot of depth here, even when looking at characters that don't get much screen time.

Flashback to the 90s: Aladdin (1992)

2014-07-19T18:59:00.000-04:00

G, 1 hr. 30 min. Directed by: John Musker, Ron Clements. Release Date: Nov 11, 1992. DVD Release Date: Oct 05, 2004.

****REPOSTED FROM THE LATE LATE SHOW WITH NEW EDITS AND COMMENTS****

Beautifully animated and possessed of outstanding music that the whole family can sing along to. This is the standard that most animated films since have tried to match.

It's really hard to complain about Aladdin in basically the same way it's hard to complain about The Lion King. Disney animators and story tellers took an ancient story that really works itself out in a few pages and were able to make this this wonderful tale of loyalty and courage.

Aladdin is close to animation perfection: voice actors, the songs (one of which sold platinum the year this was released and actually put Peabo Bryson on the industry map), and the artwork took everyone by storm. The film blends morality with humor and fun to make a masterpiece for the entire family. Robin Williams, as the voice over for the genie, was incredible. To this day, I still wonder how much of the near-constant outpouring from the genie was script and how much was Williams' ad-libbing.

Flashback to the 90s: Men in Black (1997)

2014-07-18T18:56:00.000-04:00

PG-13, 1 hr. 53 min. Directed by: Barry Sonnenfeld. Release Date: Jul 02, 1997. DVD Release Date: Oct 23, 1997.

****REPOSTED FROM THE LATE LATE SHOW WITH NEW EDITS AND COMMENTS****

Fun and off-beat, this is the perfect blend of action and comedy.

It’s funny that in the decade since this movie was released in theaters, Will Smith has seen a significant positive change to his career and his reputation. These days, he’s earned nearly the reputation for outstanding performances that Tommy Lee Jones has had for years, even though his roles haven’t really changed all that much. But Men In Black was made during his climb to the top, and I think that this was when he was at the top of his game. After all, every role he plays has a bit of the Fresh Prince in it.

In a way, this movie was iconic for the late-90s. It was widely versatile, and had something to appeal to everyone. Despite the PG-13 rating, this was really family friendly in a way that didn’t include pretty bobble-headed girls singing to chirping bluebirds. This is what the real American family aims for, and wasn’t a family movie where most of the family suffers in silence. The story is quick and inoffensive, but is supported by more complex characters and relationships. The cast is pretty outstanding, considering that, at the time, only Rip Torn and Tommy Lee Jones had any real bling status as a real actor.

The humor in this film is pretty topical, which might be a problem for viewers that weren’t old enough to remember 1997, and it stretches from the opening scenes of the movie until the final credits roll by. Even if you don’t get the dated references, Smith’s antics will still get some giggles. The action sequences are pretty good, but the special effects, particularly the aliens, are great, albeit disgusting.

Flashback to the 90s: Singles (1992)

2014-07-17T18:53:00.000-04:00

PG-13, 1 hr. 39 min. Directed by: Cameron Crowe. Release Date: Sep 18, 1992 . DVD Release Date: Feb 23, 1999.

****REPOSTED FROM THE LATE LATE SHOW WITH NEW EDITS AND COMMENTS****

A veritable smorgasbord of all that was unpalatable about the early 90s social scene, despite being set at ground zero for all that was counter-culture for the decade.

Hands down, my favorite thing here was the music. It was like revisiting high school and listening to Nirvana, Candlestick, Soundgarden… all those fun groups that have alas been sent to a place of questionable cultural relevance. The soundtrack is great… I know because after watching this I went out and bought it. For those of us who were teenagers in the 90s, this was why we wanted to be in our early 20s. The club scenes, the growing coffee culture, the… flannels, it was all there.

I also liked that in some ways this has stood the test of time when other period romances have not. We could have watched the same characters with subtle changes to the background and dialogue to reflect the "aughties" and it could have worked as a romance for the 00 decade. It could have worked for any decade, most probably.

The focus on Kyra Sedgewick and Campbell Scott was unfortunate, because they really, really aren't the most interest couple portrayed in the course of the film. Not by a long shot. Ms. Sedgewick was already too old physically for someone a decade younger than she really is… the "Andrea" syndrome was a major problem in the 90s. It still doesn't work.

There is way too much of Kyra Sedgewick in various stages of undress.

Flashback to the 90s: Party Girl (1995)

2014-07-16T18:50:00.000-04:00

R, 1 hr. 38 min. Directed by: Daisy von Scherler Mayer. Release Date: June 9, 1995. DVD Release Date: December 10, 2002.

****REPOSTED FROM THE LATE LATE SHOW WITH NEW EDITS AND COMMENTS****

A fun twist on the coming-of-age flick, particularly because in this one the lead is going through a delayed adolescence and has finally, FINALLY, realized the error of her ways… Sorta.

I really enjoy Parker Posey, the Indie Queen. Now, I enjoy her even when she's not in an indie flick, but I do have one complaint: once you've seen Parker Posey, you've seen her in every movie she has ever done and will ever do. Parker Posey is the same in The House of Yes, in Blade Trinity, and in The Party Girl. This is true even though the characters, which include a vampire, a mentally impaired young woman with sociopathic tendencies and an irresponsible woman who slowly learns her lessons from life have little in common on the cover of things.

Parker Posey is enjoyable, but in this she's still Parker Posey. The movie reflects what I think of as the iconic environment of the 90s, at least for the young, hip, and irresponsible youth who have grown (frequently) to be young, hip, and irresponsible adults. Money seems to be everywhere, people have few cares, and I didn't once hear the discussion of recessions or budget cuts. Granted, I didn't once hear a discussion of a Clinton sex scandal or anything that didn't involve alcohol, sex, drugs, or the Dewey decimal system, but still.

For a quick trip down memory lane and to revisit an economically happier time, this isn't a bad choice. Party Girl is levied by a great supporting cast full of people that I've never seen before, and I think it has a little something for everyone, although there is some attempt to hide that this is, at heart, a romantic comedy. Oh, Parker Posey can't speak Arabic for… well, zift.

Flashback to the 90s: Gattaca (1997)

2014-07-15T18:45:00.000-04:00

PG-13, 2 hr. 1 min. Directed by: Andrew Niccol. Release Date: Oct 24, 1997. DVD Release Date: May 05, 1998.

****REPOSTED FROM THE LATE LATE SHOW WITH ADDITIONAL EDITS AND COMMENTS****

Despite some cheesy marketing ploys, this is basic sci-fi, but it's good sci-fi based on good science. It's also the first in a LONG line of movies that touched on genetic engineering in the late 90s and early aughties.

I like the story here from start to finish. It was also pretty topical, since genetic engineering was just starting to be a buzz word in the late 90s. Dolly had been cloned and doctors were claiming they could isolate genes in fetuses to bring certain genetic traits to the foreground. Here, that genetic tinkering is the norm and has been perfected for the most part, although there are hints that even in Gattaca's world that the results are not 100% guaranteed.

The characters are all pretty wooden, with the exception of Jude Law's. It was so much that I'm sure this was done purposefully by the director, as if to hint that such things as personality and emotion are what separate the higher castes of this society from the lower. The less you have, the higher up the ranks you rise.

With such a focus on the murder investigation, you'd think something interesting would come of it, but nothing really does. I guess the idea was to get people wise to what Ethan Hawke is doing, but I would have rather there'd been some sort of conspiracy.

I need someone to explain to me why astronauts go out into space in business suits. Anyone?

Flashback to the 90s: The Big Hit (1998)

2014-07-14T18:39:00.000-04:00

R, 1 hr. 31 min. Directed by: Kirk Wong. Release Date: Apr 24, 1998. DVD Release Date: Mar 06, 2001.

While in general, this is poorly acted, this movie is rich in action sequences and interesting characters.

The Big Hit has one of my favorite characters of the 1990s, Melvin Smiley, the lead role played by "Marky" Mark Wahlberg. I found the concept of a contract killer who happened to be (1) naïve, (2) a pushover, (3) totally not ruthless and (4) neurotic in his drive to be liked a fascinating combination. Smiley's personality is so at odds with both his appearance and his profession that he makes me smile every time I watch this movie. Mark Wahlberg does a pretty admirable job with the part, and he's one of the few people I don't feel the need to throw tomatoes at.

Kirk Wong does a fine job with his action sequences. While he doesn't create images that are necessarily realistic, he does create sequences that aren't so much of a stretch from the possible that you're forced to throw popcorn, candy, your shoe, or whatever else you have handy at the screen. For those of you who remember 90's action cinema, these Hong Kong-inspired films rarely venture into the land of reality and have their heroes in mortal combat running across leaves of trees.

There is so much wrong with the performances here on average that I'm fairly sure that the problem was directed. Buuuut, that being said, Christina Applegate really bombed here. While she's never a favorite of mine, at least while she's talking, I haven't seen her perform this poorly since the first couple of seasons of Married With Children.

What's with all the ethnic stereotypes? I know lots of Jewish people, and I've never heard any of them pepper their English with Yiddish slurs and rude names for people. I've also never seen one spit in order to prevent something bad from happening. But, I've never been to New York, so maybe that's the problem. Between Applegate's Jewish family and the Japanese crap, I usually feel dumber for having watched this.

Melvin Smiley gets seriously duped by three pretty girls, and manages to get no further than a kiss with any of them during the course of the film. In all fairness, that might not be scarier than Lou Diamond Phillips' wardrobe.

Flashback to the 90s: Kalifornia (1993)

2014-07-13T18:37:00.000-04:00

R, 1 hr. 57 min. Directed by: Dominic Sena. Release Date: Sep 03, 1993. DVD Release Date: Oct 28, 1997.

****REPOSTED FROM THE LATE LATE SHOW WITH NEW EDITS AND COMMENTS****

Creepy, with a fascinating story that is a bit too filled with coincidence.

I have to say that I liked this movie, and I was really, really prepared not to. It's filled with people that I traditionally don't like to watch, but I vaguely remember there being some scandal attached to this when it was released in theaters, although for the life of me, I couldn't see what it might have been. Juliette Lewis was at her creepy best here, although I suspect she's mostly still riding the highs from Cape Fear at this point in history.

A writer who specializes in the history of serial killers who goes on a road trip to visit the sites of serial murders who just happens to pick up a serial killer? No, it's not the latest issue of the Enquierer, but it probably could have been. Really, guys. The love of the idea of California that's vomited through about half of the dialogue hasn't really been present in the United States since the 50s. Not one sound about "nuts and fruits" was uttered, so they get a failing grade on realism. What we have here is that 90s sexy-thriller motif, where people are having lots of on-camera sex for no apparent reason.

Flashback to the 90s: Disturbing Behavior (1998)

2014-07-12T18:34:00.000-04:00

R, 83 min. Directed by: David Nutter. Release Date: Jul 24, 1998. DVD Release Date: Aug 14, 2001.

****REPOSTED FROM THE LATE LATE SHOW WITH NEW EDITS AND COMMENTS****

Despite some hilariously quotable dialogue and some potential to have some of the same cult following as The Faculty, this movie's brain chip has seriously malfunctioned.

There were a lot of really bad thrillers from the 90s. It's a fact. Think about it. When Best Instictcan be considered one of a decade's most cutting-edge thrillers, you know there's a problem. However, Disturbing Behavior manages to be a cut above... or rather, a cut below the rest. It's possibly what I like about this movie, the fact that it's sooo bad, because it really has few redeeming qualities and is the chief reason I hate James Marsden's face to this day.

The writers here failed to do what the writers of Mean Girls accomplished with the word "fetch." Just because you have your kids say "cooks rich trash" and "razor" doesn't mean that anyone was actually saying them... or that they make sense. I was relatively young in 1998, and pretty down with the lingo, and I struggled to understand about half of what they were saying. The characters were sloppy. UV? Seriously? And what's with the 1950s retro thing for the "good" kids?

As bad as the given material surely was it was editing that really killed what little potential this movie ever had. So much was taken away from the movie's final product that we've totally lost any understanding of how or why this situation could even begin to happen. If Steve Altern could have written a movie, it would have been this one.

Flashback to the 90s: 10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

2014-07-11T14:44:00.000-04:00

PG-13, 1 hr. 30 min. Directed by: Gil Junger. Release Date: Mar 31, 1999. DVD Release Date: Oct 12, 1999.

****REPOSTED FROM THE LATE LATE SHOW WITH NEW EDITS AND COMMENTS****

An interesting modern adaptation of a classic Shakespeare play.

This movie has some problems, but the adaptation from a play a few hundred years old isn't one of them. While the film only has the spirit of The Taming of the Shrew, something you might not guess from the text portions of the poster above, it really succeeds using a very old framework and applying it to a modern setting and culture.

The movie manages to take the conflict between sisters and make it something that's usually funny, and often heart-warming. Add in some common threads that unite most teen movies, regardless of specific sub-genre, and you have the basic plot. I'll grudgingly admit that the cast is great in this movie, especially Heath Ledger and Julia Stiles, and it's not often that I throw any particular praise her way.

While there's no particular depth to the characters or story here everything goes quickly enough and is relatively unoffensive, especially for a teen movie. This is certainly a film that everyone should see once, if only for a couple hours of mindless fun.

Flashback to the 90s: Deuce Bigalow, Male Gigolo (1999)

2014-07-10T14:43:00.000-04:00

R, 88 min. Directed by: Eddie Griffin, Mike Mitchell, Rob Schneider, William Forsythe. Release Date: Dec 10, 1999. DVD Release Date: Jun 20, 2000.

****REPOSTED FROM THE LATE LATE SHOW WITH NEW EDITS AND COMMENTS****

Funny and quirky, this film is saved by a supporting cast that more than outshines the star.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Rob Schneider doesn't need to be making his own movies. He needs to be doing his bit and character work for Happy Madison Productions, because when he gets a lead role, he sucks most of the fun out of the movie, which is what you see here. The only thing that keeps Deuce Bigalow from being a really good screwball comedy is Schneider. The character is done sloppily, and not in a way that could make it appealing to an audience.

But, there is salvation. Primarily in the form of Eddie Griffin, who I personally think is hysterical just to look at. He doesn't have to say anything and I'm smiling... a trait I think he shares with Anna Faris. The stuff that comes out of Griffin's mouth is like a train of funny invective, most of it isn't something I'll repeat unnecessarily here, but is the reason the film is rated R. While I think critics of Griffin's will say he's always the same character, and there's some truth to that, what he puts out is too funny to ignore. The rest of the supporting cast, from Oded Fehr's role as the violent gigolo Deuce ends up house sitting for, to the wide array of ladies who play Deuce's offbeat and ridiculous clientele, they're just amazing.

It's not often that I find something redeeming about a comedy that's almost entirely made of one-liners and slapstick, but there's just something goofy about this one that makes me think it's worth watching, even if it's only watched once.

Flashback to the 90s: Can't Hardly Wait (1998)

2014-07-09T14:39:00.000-04:00

PG-13, 1 hr. 35 min. Directed by: Deborah Kaplan, Harry Elfont. Release Date: Jun 12, 1998. DVD Release Date: Nov 17, 1998.

****REPOSTED FROM THE LATE LATE SHOW WITH NEW EDITS AND COMMENTS****

Proof positive that a subpar product can be improved by casting a huge number of B grade celebs into the parts.

This movie is all about the faces, because there's little enough of this movie that's merit-worthy or original. In order to get people to watch this, they flung nearly ever teen star of the decade in our faces, and more or less succeeded. It's not an unknown gambit of the teen film world to throw a few familiar folks at us to make the movie go by more smoothly, even if the film itself is awful. Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jaime Pressley, Peter Facinelli, Jerry O'Connell, and Seth Green apparently make soup when boiled together with some lackluster herbs and spices.

The story itself is as formulaic as it gets, and old as the hills. The characters are little more than pale shadows of various high school stereotypes. There's little depth in any of the characters, although there is some obvious attempt to provide that through the burgeoning relationship between Ethan Embry and Jennifer Love Hewitt. Even with all these things that should have pulled together an abyss of tedium and stupidity, this all works. This truly is a film that's so bad that it's good.

This is a great movie for killing time. No matter how many times you watch it, there remain a few laughs. Sometimes the laughs are a bit mean-spirited, but better to laugh than to not laugh at all. If you're looking for substance, or a story with a plot, or originality, you need to watch something else. But, if you're happy with simplicity and some funny, this is the movie for you.

Flashback to the 90s: Batman Forever (1995)

2014-07-08T14:36:00.000-04:00

PG-13, 2 hrs. 1 min. Directed by: Joel Schumacher. Release Date: Jun 16, 1995. DVD Release Date: Aug 27, 1997.

****REPOSTED FROM THE LATE LATE SHOW WITH NEW EDITS AND COMMENTS****

It's a bird! It's a plane! It's a gay bar! No, it's neon Batman!

This movie went wrong in so many ways that it's really hard to find something good to say. It's really hard to find a movie packed with so many big names to just suck this badly. While Val Kilmer may go down in history as the worst Batman in history, he wasn't even the worst part of this movie. That honor would go down to the intense, unnecessary and chronic overacting from Jim Carrey and the spastic onscreen behavior from Tommy Lee Jones.

The errors in this film were pretty numerous, but not so much I couldn't make a count. Miscasting of Jim Carrey and Val Kilmer. They weren't alone in the horrible performances in the movie, but both of them outdid Nicole Kidman's performance of a shrink who had strokes throughout the movie, so we'll give them most of the credit for the bad acting here. Seriously, what is with the neon? Did someone's uncle or cousin have a surplus? Last I checked, neon hasn't really been cool since the 1980s, and even then, no one felt the need to attach it to everything in order to create ambiance.

Dialogue... it should be good. If it can't be well written, it should at least be well delivered. And it shouldn't have so many references to Robin's virginity, because NO ONE wants to cross the line on that particular subject considering all the neon lights and the fact that he only hangs around Batman. Also, the movie's set in modern day, and we don't expect someone in their early 20s to be a virgin anymore. We don't want to think about that either, for the reasons I just outlined. No matter how much we'd like it if Chris O'Donnell never reproduces, we can be pretty sure he's had sex at least once.

Basically, if you have to watch a Batman movie, this one is NOT the right choice. Stick to Batman or Batman Begins.

Flashback to the 90s: The Matrix (1999)

2014-07-07T14:34:00.000-04:00

R, 2 hrs. 30 min. Directed by: Andy Wachowski, Larry Wachowski. Release Date: Mar 31, 1999. DVD Release Date: Sep 21, 1999.

****REPOSTED FROM THE LATE LATE SHOW WITH NEW EDITS AND COMMENTS****

Amazing action sequences and an outstanding cast make for one of the best action movies ever. It's also the one that's managed to ruin SO many other action movies (by trying to imitate it) and been the products of SO many spoofs...

It's hard to believe it's been a decade since I first saw this in theaters. It's also hard to come up with a movie that's been spoofed more often than The Matrix. The scene where trinity jumps into midair only to pause and beat the crap out of three cops pops up everywhere from Scary Movie to the episode of American Dadwhere Roger dresses like a woman and attempts to become the greatest actor in the world.

The Wachowski brothers created an incredible world for us, which they give to us in "tip of the iceberg" form in the first of their explosive trilogy. In my mind, and possibly because it's the first segment, it's also the best. If you like martial arts, explosives, gunfire, or just plain old badassery, this is going to be your favorite movie of the 90s. While I like the movie, there are a few too many similarities between this and Terminator are legion, although I think the overall product of The Matrix puts the older movie to shame.

Flashback to the 90s: The Mummy (1999)

2014-07-06T14:31:00.000-04:00

PG-13, 2 hrs. 5 min. Directed by: Stephen Sommers. Release Date: Jun 01, 1999. DVD Release Date: Sep 28, 1999.

****REPOSTED FROM THE LATE LATE SHOW WITH NEW EDITS AND COMMENTS****

Fun, funny, and quirky, this is definitely a modern, hip take on Indiana Jones. It doesn't; however, bear up to either the weight of time or repeated viewings, although it does certain do a better job against those obstacles than any of its sequels. Who else is thinking an inevitable reboot in like five years?

Fact meets fiction in the Egyptian desert in this semi-historical piece. While not based off any real events, the influence of ancient Egypt is strong and provides some pretty significant interest, well, at least it did for me. The magic and mayhem that comes along with the resurrection of the mummy, not-so-much, but I like when he vomits out a swarm of locusts. While the magic is hokey, it's well done and represents some of the best CGI work of the decade. So, I can choose to ignore the sorcerous powers of the mummy and worry about how they're going to plant him again.

While I enjoy this movie (on occasion) immensely, and think there are few movies from the 90s as much fun as this one, I think some of the casting choices drag down the average. Particularly, I think Brendan Frasier is pretty weak in this role, but I haven't thought he was really great in anything but Bedazzled and I'm willing to believe he was made better by the mere presence of Elizabeth Hurley. Quite honestly, I think the same thing is happening here with Rachel Weisz.

Flashback to the 90s: Color of Night (1994)

2014-07-05T14:28:00.000-04:00

R, 140 min. Directed by: Richard Rush. Release Date: Aug 19, 1994. DVD Release Date: May 15, 2001.

****REPOSTED FROM THE LATE LATE SHOW WITH NEW EDITS AND COMMENTS****

Sexy and suspenseful, this has all the makings of a decent murder mystery that is unfortunately foiled by its cast.

The ingredients for success are all here. Random slaying of a psychologist, the mysterious "beautiful" (Horse teeth really just don't do it for me)woman, the stalking of the dead psychologist's heir for no apparent reason, and they even brought Leslie Ann Warren out of retirement. She's still hot, and she's really old. I just don't get it.

The story itself seems to have few real problems to detract from the overall movie. I found the relationship between Rose (Jane March) and Bill Capa (Bruce Willis) to be weird and overly complex, particularly since it was entirely physical. Let's not forget that the trend in the 90s for these crime dramas was to add as much sex and nudity as they could get away with and still keep their "R" rating. My other problem with the story is how the cops were written into the film. I just didn't particularly like either of them. Neither seemed like a good guy, or even a naughty guy who did what had to be done. They were just kind of there and they were kind of assholes.

There's some debate on how easily viewed the "twists" in the plot were to spot. Admittedly, I caught about half of the twist the first time I watched it. Well, I noticed some things and didn't get a few others. I was only moderately surprised when the ending happened and was a little disappointed with the cliche.

Flashback to the 90s: The Lion King (1994)

2014-07-04T16:20:00.000-04:00

G, 1 hr. 27 min. Directed by: Rob Minkoff, Roger Allers. Release Date: Jun 15, 1994. DVD Release Date: Oct 07, 2003.

****REPOSTED FROM THE LATE LATE SHOW WITH NEW EDITS AND COMMENTS****

A masterpiece of Disney story-telling and animation.

15 years later, and this is still arguably my favorite Disney movie. Despite rumors of inappropriate content added into the animated backgrounds, this film is a work of art.

The story is well-written and portrayed, especially since Disney creators didn't have a fairy tale to work with for background. It's funny, but manages serious discussion of how life and death work and interact and how sometimes bad things can create good changes in their wake. The potentially scary content is minimized, but is there in order to maintain interest and some suspense to the film.

The voice actors are filled with big names and each seems to do well with the part they've been given. Whoopi Goldberg is outstanding as a hyena, and James Earl Jones is (of course) incredible as the voice of the lion king Mufasa.

Flashback to the 90s: Ever After (1998)

2014-07-03T15:43:00.000-04:00

PG-13, 2 hrs. 10 min. Directed by: Andy Tennant. Release Date: Jul 31, 1998. DVD Release Date: Mar 02, 1999.

****REPOSTED FROM THE LATE LATE SHOW WITH NEW EDITS AND COMMENTS****

An interesting, but imperfect modernization of the classic Cinderella fairy tale.

A little secret of mine is how much I love this movie. I'm not sure why, there could be a few hundred reasons: it's possible that it's my must-stalk Drew Barrymore (Call me, Drew!) mentality kicking in. It's possible that it touches upon that romantic part of me that I occasionally try to kill with acid. It's also possible that I just like that this is good, simple entertainment with roots to easier times. Either way, I love this movie.

Sure, the acting isn't the finest ever, although the cast is very good. In addition to Drew there's Dougray Scott, who was not entirely pompous or cancer-ridden, Anjelica Huston who played the evil stepmother BRILLIANTLY, and a host of other actors I recognized but couldn't put a name too without doing more Internet research than is probably good for me.

The problem with doing a story like this, that we've ALL read, or had read to us, or seen as a freaking Disney production, is that, it's really been kicked to death. You can't make enough changes to the basic idea to make it new without changing the premise. These guys threw some technology their way and gave the piece a date, which appears to be some time well AFTER the New World had been carved up among the colonial powers... and yet strangely, Leonardo Da Vinci makes an appearance, possibly as part of his cover up for the Da Vinci Code.

The movie is cute and usually makes me smile, especially when Drew Barrymore kicks a bit of ass. The swordplay is decent, although I wouldn't necessarily know if it wasn't.

Flashback to the 90s: The Hard Way (1991)

2014-07-02T21:15:00.000-04:00

R, 1 hr. 31 min. Directed by: John Badham. Release Date: Jun 01, 1991. DVD Release Date: Nov 17, 1998.

****REPOSTED FROM THE LATE LATE SHOW WITH NEW EDITS AND COMMENTS****

Back in the day, I loved this movie. Michael J. Fox was at the top of his game, still a few years before announcing his illness with the world and transitioning so perilously from "star" to "object of pity." I feel bad for the guy too, but I probably wouldn't rush out to watch anything he was in now, so what does that say about me? James Woods was quite the badass, and his work I probably would still run out and go see, but he can mostly thank his appearances on The Family Guy for that. L.L. Cool J. even has a part. How can you NOT like this?

This is a reasonably good hybridization of a buddy flick and a cop flick, although truth be told if I had to pigeonhole The Hard Way, I'd say its strengths come more from the interplay between Woods and Fox and not from the "cop action drama" sequences, which, while frequent, were not exactly bucking to make this a cinema classic. These guys were really good together, and I pretty much believed that Woods would have liked to have shot his co-star if the stars aligned themselves in his favor. There's a lot of funny moments in the film, although I think the filmmakers were going for something funnier than what they actually produced, but you know… this will get a smile going and keep it up and it could be far worse than that.

The thing that makes this movie creepy is the killer, the "Party Crasher". While I don't exactly think the man playing him was picked for his acting skills, I do think he brought a certain sense of creepy and crazy to the role. I also don't think that was anything like a stretch for him to play. Half of his scenes were of him doing the kind of thing that some of us might have done when we were sure we were alone, the only distinguishing feature being, of course, that he would be doing them in front of both a fictional and a factual audience. I also kind of liked that the "subversive" characters all had physical oddities that marked them from the relatively attractive people that made up the body of the cast.

Watching this almost twenty years later, I remembered that I used to own this back in the days of my crazily extensive VHS collection, but this was one of maybe a dozen movies that I was never all that interested in upgrading once I switched to DVD. Those feelings haven't changed. This was good as a part of Netflix's Watch Instantly, but I would go out of my way to add it back in to my collection.

Flashback to the 90s: The Saint (1997)

2014-07-01T20:43:00.000-04:00

PG-13, 1 hr. 56 min. Directed by: Phillip Noyce. Release Date: Apr 04, 1997. DVD Release Date: Oct 06, 1998.

****REPOSTED FROM THE LATE LATE SHOW WITH NEW COMMENTS/EDITS****

I saw this on the Netflix Watch Instantly queues and decided to watch it again because a friend of mind had a fiendish obsession with it in the 90s, back when we were both in college. She loved it (I think) because it was possibly the first time in American cinematic history where Russia wasn't necessarily portrayed as the Evil Empire, and probably more than a little because of Val Kilmer, you know, before he started getting fat. I've watched this movie more than my fair share of times, most frequently in the pursuit of intoxication, and I've always found the experience moderately entertaining. This time I was dead sober and was significantly less entertained.

Watching The Saint for the first time in 15 years, I came across one insurmountable obstacle to my enjoyment. How does 'The Saint' evolve from escapee from a vicious Catholic orphanage in what I took to be the developing world to a dazzlingly wealthy, globetrotting super-thief? Enquiry minds like mine want to know. I would have predicted death in a gutter within a few months of starvation, bilharzia, or maybe hepatitis… but hey, I've been wrong before.

Other than that, this is a fairly lackluster story about spy steals from despot, spy meets girl, spy falls in love, chaos ensues. Val Kilmer has been better, but not much better. Elizabeth Shue was her normally winsome self, but again without anything to set this performance apart from her past (or future) roles. I suspect that The Saint had the same career-destroying fallout wave that Star Wars did, because we've hardly heard from these people since this movie… and they were hottish back in the day.

Flashback to the 80s: Johnny Be Good (1988)

2014-03-22T20:19:00.000-04:00

R, 86 min. Directed by: Bud S. Smith. Release Date: Mar 25, 1988. DVD Release Date: Aug 05, 2003.

****REPOSTED FROM THE LATE LATE SHOW WITH NEW EDITS AND COMMENTS****

Lackluster and featureless film with a few interesting historical characteristics.

I love the 80s. 80s movies tend to get additional props for no other reason that I just groove on the nostalgia. Johnny Be Good failed to provide that nostalgia, despite having two members of the Brat Pack in the cast. Easily this is the worst 80s teen movie I've seen to date, and I've seen more than my fair share.

The problems here are numerous. First, Anthony Michael Hall, the only grown man on the planet to have skinnier forearms than me, as a star high school quarterback? Probably not. The only more ridiculous casting choice would have been to have Neil Patrick Harris play Cassanova or Don Juan de Marco. Add to it the cheese he imported into The Breakfast Club without any of the charm or humanity, and you have a soulless punk for a main character. Robert Downey Jr. does yet another one of his vaguely off-putting roles that survive on mere hijinks. Once you've seen one of his performances as a young man, you better appreciate what it means that he's off the blow now.

The supporting cast is just as awful, and helps this train wreck of a movie flounder helplessly as they trudge along to the inevitable end. Fortunately, you only have to sit through about an hour and twenty minutes worth of crap.

The one feature point of this movie came from the opening credits. "Introducing Uma Thurman," roles through so quickly I almost didn't catch it, and I'm not sure I would have recognized Uma Thurman in her first role if I hadn't spotted that bit of text. Sure, she was just as bad as everyone else here, but there's nothing more fun than finding a relatively big celebrity in their first s8ignificant on camera role. It's why I actually sat down and watched Hackers.

If you're looking for 80s fun, there are many better 80s movies. Hell, there are many better BAD 80s movies. I'd leave this one on the shelf to retire quietly.