In the current edition of The Green Parent magazine we have 14 pages of craft ideas and projects to get stuck into. Amanda Blake Soule shares one of her favourite winter crafts; making a child’s hat from an old jumper and Cher Sievey writes about the importance of dolls in play and shows us how to make simple dolls at home. We also have some magical ideas for Christmas decorations from our readers. Other features include breastfeeding toddlers, woodcraft groups and ideas for a vegetarian Christmas feast.

To download a template for the winter hat click here. Instructions can be found in issue 32 of the Green Parent magazine.

Dear Natalie,
I recently read an article on The Ecologist website – Behind the Label: Calpol – and am feeling so guilty for not having been aware of this earlier in my children’s lives. Although I don’t use it so much now, I did back when they were small. I thought you might like to read it – and would love to know your feelings on the subject.

A: I stumbled across the article myself a few days ago and was quite alarmed (and simultaneously empowered) by what I’d read. Thanks so much for raising the question here. First off, let’s focus on the guilt thing that it’s brought up for you. As with any challenge or disturbing experience in our lives, we can always find the root of our discomfort way back inside ourselves, niggling away in our energy body. Everything that happens to us in our lives, be they judged good or bad, are always a reflection of what’s going on with our energy body. If we’re sick, we’re lacking in a positive flow of health qi (or ch’i). If we’re often angry, we’re experiencing the presence of a stress in our energy field (see my last post on ‘Sex’ for an explanation of this!) And guilt, if I may take your feelings as an example, is another such outward expression of a stress held within. So, because we’re here to heal ourselves and learn of our true nature, life (some may call it ‘Spirit’) presents us with opportunities to identify areas of ourselves in need of loving attention. In the case of the angry person, the opportunities often manifest in the form of people that push their buttons. And in the case of feeling guilty, something will come along to trigger it. This continues to happen until one day we (hopefully) develop enough awareness to reflect on this tendency, and then decide to do something about it.

So rather than shoot the messenger; we can learn to thank it. Of course, you may not be a regular sufferer of guilt – but maybe just take a moment to ask yourself if that is a habit of yours. And, if it is, to ask yourself if it’s really serving you (and those around you) in creating a happier, healthier you. It’s always good to reflect on this stuff once in a while – these habits and patterns have a tendency to keep on slipping beneath the radar, slowly sapping us of our vitality in the process!

Now, having had a rummage around beneath the surface, let’s return to the issue. Calpol. I completely sympathise with your reaction – it triggered similar feelings in me. But we mustn’t fall into the trap of chastising ourselves for ‘not knowing any better’ – as it’s simply that. We acted according to our awareness at the time. As Einstein famously said, ‘Problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness that created them.’ But the wonderful thing (and I’ve said this before!) about awareness is that it can be grown. Like a plant in the garden that we tend to in order for it to one day bear fruit. And here we are now, raising awareness so that others may make a more informed decision.

I gave my son Calpol regularly throughout his baby and toddlerhood. He suffered a lot of colds, coughs and fevers, and I really didn’t think twice about reaching for the pink sticky stuff. It gave me peace of mind to see his fever dropping – I definitely had the ‘fever fear’ that’s mentioned in the Ecologist article. He’s now six and a half, and has ‘night-time’ asthma and suffers from hay-fever. From the research put forward in the article it would seem highly probable that my son’s ailments were caused through my sometimes over-eager use of infant paracetamol. And that’s not a nice thing to find out. But it’s simply the case of a young woman having been born and bred into a system where fear and big pharmas hold a greater influence over our education than truth and natural balance.

Sure there may have been times when my use of infant paracetamol was justified – and I’ll probably keep the bottles in the medicine cabinet for ‘emergencies’ – but I will most certainly be making a more informed choice from now on when/if I use it. Allopathic medicine certainly has its miracles, but so too does the alternative. Hopefully we’re gradually finding our way back to balance and harmony, to our ability to make wise choices – thanks to our awakening passion for greater awareness of both our inner and outer worlds.

A report, Eating the Planet?, published this week, as world leaders prepare for the FAO World Summit on food security, reveals that enough food can be produced to feed the growing world population with fairer and healthier diets whilst avoiding deforestation and animal cruelty.

It states that continuing to eat more meat and dairy globally – the production of which already generates more climate-changing emissions than all of the world’s transport – will push the world’s climate and resources over the edge. Despite pushes from agribusiness to intensify farming to feed a growing global population that is expected to reach over nine billion by 2050, the researchers found that a diet equivalent to eating meat three times a week would allow forests to remain untouched, animals to be farmed in free-range conditions and greener farming methods to be used.

With as many people obese in the west as malnourished in poor countries – roughly a billion of each – distributing protein more fairly is also an opportunity to tackle global health problems, the report points out. But feeding the world in a planet-friendly way means there will be little room to grow biofuel crops for cars – feeding people must come first. Compassion in World Farming and Friends of the Earth are calling on Ministers to switch support from factory farming to planet-friendly and humane methods.

The groups also want the Government to take action to measure and reduce the impact of the UK’s meat and dairy production and consumption – and to switch subsidies from intensive to planet-friendly and humane farming.

Clare Oxborrow, senior food campaigner at Friends of the Earth, said: “It’s amazing news that we can feed a rapidly expanding population without trashing the planet – and still eat meat several times a week.
With as many obese as malnourished people in the world, fairer and healthier lower-meat diets are a win-win for people and the planet.”

She continues, “The Government has already backed a major scientific study that calls for a move away from intensive production – it’s time it stopped spending public money on it and got behind planet-friendly farming instead.”

Lasse Bruun, Head of Campaigns at Compassion in World Farming, said: “It’s great to see that we can actually do without factory farming and still eat meat, just by cutting down the amount we consume. With 60 billion animals being reared for livestock production every year and the figure set to double by 2050, we really need to re-consider our approach to farming.

“Animals are being reared like factory units to provide us with cheap meat. The true cost of eating too much meat is animal suffering, deforestation and obesity. We have the power to save our planet and be kind to animals. All we need to do is change our diets to a healthier and fairer option.”

SUSTAINABLE FOOD GUIDELINES

Currently, one third of the world’s cereal crop goes to feed the 60 billion farm animals reared every year to produce meat, eggs and dairy products – the majority of them on factory farms. With increasing strain on the world’s natural resources and millions of people unable to feed themselves, it’s unsustainable and morally questionable to continue rearing so many farm animals in such intensive systems and feeding them crops which could be used for human needs.

Not only that, factory farming produces large amounts of waste (often polluting local water sources) and increases the risk of spreading animal disease.

Eat higher welfare
Higher welfare animal products cause less animal suffering. Buying them will encourage investment in higher welfare farming which is smaller scale and poses fewer risks to animals, people and the planet.

Eat less
Eating less meat, dairy and eggs reduces the environmental impact of animal farming and improves human health.

Most people in the west eat more protein than they need. The saturated fat in many meat and dairy products can be harmful to good health and may contribute to obesity, type-2 diabetes and heart disease. Global cancer experts say red meat can be a factor in certain cancers and that processed meats should be avoided.

Farm animal production is responsible for 18% of the greenhouse gases which we produce – more than transport at 14%. Another good reason for eating less.

Meat and dairy production also use huge amounts of cereals and soya grown for animal feed and, that most precious and increasingly scarce global resource, water. As Dr Pachauri, Chair of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change has said, “Please eat less meat. Meat is a very carbon-intensive commodity.”

Eating less and eating only higher welfare products is a positive step which Compassion encourages you to make.

Going vegetarian or vegan
Cutting out meat or all animal products is obviously a fantastic way to reduce animal suffering and the impact animal production has on the environment. However, if you choose to be a veggie remember to look for higher welfare dairy and egg products.

The Problem
Fireworks and bonfires emit a nasty cocktail of chemicals, from carbon dioxide and carbon monoxide to sulphur compounds and metal oxides, all of which can affect local air quality and our health.

14% of the UK’s annual dioxin emissions happen on and around 5th November each year. Although dioxins are found everywhere – in our water, soil and atmosphere – high concentrations have been linked to cancer, decreased fertility, diabetes and behavioural problems. Particulates are also released in small amounts and can irritate the eyes, nose and throat as well as penetrating lung tissue and thus causing problems for those with asthma or heart problems. The main problem is that we all want to have a bonfire and a fireworks display on the same night each year. This causes a concentration of all these chemicals in the environment.

A Natural Alternative
Like so many British celebrations, most of us give the original meaning of Guy Fawkes night only a fleeting thought each year. Many bonfire celebrations don’t burn a guy anymore, and this isn’t necessarily a bad thing when you consider the violent undertones. We’ve reinvented the 5th November as a celebration of light and colour, so why not reinvent it again as an environmentally-sound celebration of nature during autumn?

In 2005, Willsbridge Mill, a nature reserve in South Gloucestershire, decided to do just that and cut out the chemicals altogether. They organised an alternative bonfire night event called Nature’s Fireworks Wonders. ‘We wanted to get away from the pollution and celebrate autumnal colours with people who wouldn’t normally visit nature reserves,’ explains Ruth Worsley, a member of staff at Willsbridge Mill.

Children from local primary schools created eight different sculptures in the shape of fireworks. Each was made from natural materials such as dogswood, willow and autumnal leaves. They included traditional bonfire night colours which are also found in abundance in nature during autumn – bright oranges, yellows and reds.

On 5th November, the public were given free tours of the eight sculptures. They learnt about habitats for wildlife on the way and children were given the opportunity to carve images of wildlife into pumpkins and make charcoal drawings on large banners which were later unfurled from the top of a corn mill tower.

In the evening everyone took part in a fireworks display with a difference: ‘We covered acetates in brightly coloured cellophane and put them onto OHPs in front of the mill building,’ explains Ruth. By moving the acetates around we made the shapes and colours produced look a lot like fireworks. At the same time, children in the crowd made firework like noises with ‘light sparklers’ – pieces of scrap metal.’ The event ended with poetry readings by children.

Green Celebrations
There are several ways in which you can celebrate a greener bonfire night:

1) Attend an organised event. The Environment Agency recommends organised events because they will invariably produce less pollution than if everyone attending them held their own event. They will usually have spectacular fireworks displays and sometimes there won’t even be a bonfire, which is good for the environment, as it is bonfires, not fireworks, which release most of the dioxins. Check your local press for details of council or charity run events.

2) Create Community. If, on the other hand, large crowds and flashy firework displays aren’t really your style, another way of cutting down on pollution is to host one event for your whole street. You’ll be helping to build community where you live and you might also be preventing disputes with neighbours. Although there are no laws in the UK preventing people from lighting bonfires on domestic property, councils receives tens of thousands of complaints each year from neighbours annoyed by smoke from bonfires. They recommend that the easiest way to help ease this situation is to warn people what you’re going to be doing well in advance and what better way of telling them than inviting them to join in the fun!

3) Work with Nature. Why not copy Willsbridge Mill and work with nature rather than polluting it? Abandon the environmentally damaging aspects of a traditional bonfire celebration, but retain the best part: the opportunity to be outdoors in the fresh air exploring nature, at a time of year when we spend much of our time indoors hiding from the winter weather. Why not pull on your winter coats and go outside as a family to make colourful sculptures in the garden from plants and natural materials? It might be too late to grow plants for this year, but some of the displays at Willsbridge Mill were made from autumnal leaves, so get those rakes out! Remember to take photographs of your creations. This approach will work especially well if a member of your family has a health problem which is likely to be irritated by a bonfire.

4) Follow the Guidelines. If you are building a bonfire, make sure you follow guidelines on what to burn and how to burn it, to limit the environmental impact. Most local councils recommend the following:

• Only burn dry material. Never burn household rubbish, rubber tyres, or anything containing plastic, foam or paint.
• Never use old engine oil, meths or petrol to light the fire or to encourage it.
• Avoid lighting a fire in unsuitable weather conditions – smoke hangs in the air on damp, still days and in the evening. A fresh, windy day is the better, as the smoke will disperse more easily.
• Avoid burning when air pollution in your area is high or very high. This information is often included in weather forecasts, or you can check by ringing 0800 556677
• Never leave the fire unattended or let it smoulder – douse it with water if necessary.
• Build your bonfire as close to the time you are going to burn it as possible to reduce the chances of small animals climbing inside. Check the bonfire before lighting it for any signs of life.
• Most of the garden material we put on a bonfire would be better disposed of by composting it. However, you can’t compost diseased plant material. If you happen to have any, burning it is actually the best way to get rid of it.

USEFUL INFORMATION
The Environment Agency can advise on what you can and can’t put on a bonfire, to ensure that no toxic chemicals are released. Call their 24 hour helpline on 0800 80 70 60 for advice or see visit: environment-agency.gov.uk.

Local councils have guidelines available on what should and shouldn’t be burned, information on services they provide for alternative ways of disposing of waste and how to avoid annoying your neighbours or to report a disturbance. You can find your local council’s contact details at: directgov.co.uk.

Willsbridge Mill is a restored 19th Century Corn Mill set in a 22 acre nature reserve in South Gloucestershire and maintained by Avon Wildlife Trust. There are walking trails and events and school tours are held regularly. Visit: forestofavon.org.uk or call 0117 932 6885 for more information.

PRIZES:

BILLY ROCKER Recycled cardboard rocking horse – designed and made in the UK. This fun first rocker allows you to get creative and customise your horse with paint, pens and collage.

NEW BABY GIFT SET This ethical gift set contains an organic cotton sleepsuit for ages 3-6 months, a pack of Art Cards for baby, a pair of first leather booties and a beautiful journal for recording your baby’s firsts.

MAMA TO BE GIFT PACK Gorgeous nursing bra tank top in dark plum, yummy frankincense stretch mark cream and a set of organic beauty goodies, perfect for a pick-me-up.

SELF SUFFICIENCY SET Set of three informative and inspirational books about the good life including Beekeeping, Hen Keeping and Soap Making

PLAYTIME FUN Great for the holidays, this set includes a green science experiment kit, a colourful educational board game and The Good Green Christmas book filled with projects for the festive season.

PACK OF SUPER SOFT REAL NAPPIES Easy-to-use starter pack of five washable all-in-one nappies, waterproof outer and unbleached washable wipes.

INSPIRATIONAL READING A subscription to The Green Parent magazine to bring you a whole year of inspirational thought-provoking ideas.

FOR YOUR CHANCE TO WIN
Simply send us an email with your name, address, the prize you would prefer and your answers to the questions below:

1) How often do you visit The Green Parent website?

2) What do you visit the Green Parent website for?

3) What would you most like to read about on the Green Parent website?

Time is short. There’s almost one month until the Copenhagen Climate Summit starts. And just 85 months to get global greenhouse emissions going down, not up. Let’s click and do …

• Watch the day the world woke up and make the pledge.

• Be a brick in Al Gore’s new wall.

• Help take The Age of Stupid global.

• And 10:10 too.

• Then give three cheers.

• Now help make The Wave.

• Take the last chance to send an SOS to the world.

• Then head for the trees.

• And make the next global day of action, December 12th, happen.

But don’t forget to tell the world to come together for OneHundredMonths.

Let’s make this month count!

The Wipe Out Waste Awards initiative was hosted by Footprint Friends and sponsored by powerPerfector. All ideas were pitched in 10-minute spots and will be showcased via Footprint Friends. The winning school will also have a powerPerfector unit fitted, enabling it to reduce its power consumption and carbon footprint by up to 20%.

Footprint Friends founding director Karen Ford said: “Today has been all about the conscious thoughts and voices of young people. We are giving them a platform and the backing of action to go out and really make a difference to our world. The energy and initiative on show to do just that has been amazing.”

All of the ideas presented were of an exceptional standard – and highlighted the talent and passion young people have for being part of the drive to a more sustainable way of living.

The winning team, from Canon Burrows CE Primary School in Tameside, Manchester, came up with an ingenious idea to sustain the use of pencils which are normally thrown away when they have been half used. Their innovative design of a clever pencil holder that grips the pencil from new until it runs out sustains the pencil’s use until it is a stub. The idea has been developed further to incorporate a comfy grip, using sustainable materials, and even with commercial potential – all in a reusable device.

The Canon Burrows Team comprised Miah Chaudhry (10), Rebecca Gunby (10), Ewen Hine (11), and Oliver Thornley (11). “It was a really intense experience,” said Miah. “We were dazzled at coming to London and really enjoyed making the presentation.” Oliver added: “But we enjoyed it most when we won!” Teacher Suzanne Fildes said: “We thoroughly enjoyed the event even before we won, but winning means so much to the children and it will have an impact on the whole school which is really committed to climate change action.”

Second place went to the team from Smithycroft Secondary in Glasgow with their detailed plan to stop the schools use of 3m pieces of disposable dinnerware which goes into landfill each year, replacing it with reusable place settings and dishwashers. In joint third were Park School in Lancashire with ‘Local Milk for All’ to stop using milk in tetra packs and switch to milk in recyclable glass bottles sourced from a local dairy, and St Luke’s Science & Sports College in Devon with a commercial idea to take its litter and food waste to be recycled and reused or sold on. All winning teams and runners up were presented with a range of goodies including an energy monitor, signed books by authors present at the event, and T-shirts.

Become a monitor
You can purchase electricity monitors for as little as £35. Seeing the monitor reading accelerate every time you use your kettle is a great incentive not to overfill.

First:utility are one of the first energy suppliers to offer a smart meter. The smart meter allows customers to see what, when and where they are using their energy. This information is fed back to first:utility every 30 minutes to ensure accurate bill readings, and with three daily tariffs, consumers can choose tariffs that suit their energy consumption.

Tariff Right
Are you on the right Tariff for you? You may find Economy 7 or Economy 10 will suit if you use most of your electricity at night. Duel Energy Tariffs are great if you get your electricity and gas from the same supplier. You could save of up to £400 a year by opting for an online tariff, with added discounts for online paperless billing and direct debits. You could opt for fixed price tariffs – be careful you don’t set yourself at a price when other companies are lowering theirs.

To Switch or not to Switch
Use comparison sites such as uswitch.com, energyhelpline.com or switchwithwhich.co.uk& to find the best deal in your area. However, there is a right time and a wrong to switch. If you are unsure, visit moneysavingexpert.com. If you are looking for a green energy provider, have a look at greenenergyswitch.com.

Turn down the heat
Turning down your thermostat by just 1°C could save you £30 per year.

Say goodbye to your old boiler
If your boiler is over ten years old, you are probably wasting a huge amount of energy. According to Northern Gas Heating Company, around 60% of CO2 emissions from your home are down to your boiler. With an efficient new boiler, you could save up to 875kg of CO2 and £130 a year and a new condensing boiler could cut gas bills by nearly 40 per cent or £150 per year for a typical semi-detached house. Add in a full set of heating controls as well as a new boiler, and you could increase the total savings to around £250 and 1.7 tonnes of CO2 a year.

Wrap up
We all moan about our heating bills but how many of us have the heating on and walk around in t-shirts. By wearing more clothes you can save pounds on unnecessary heating costs. Using the same principle, wrap up your home. If you are on benefits or over 60, you may be eligible for an Energy Efficiency Grant. Contact the Energy Saving Trust on 0800 512 012 or visit est.org.uk.
• Install insulation, especially in the loft, around immersion heater and cavity walls. You can save an estimated £200 a year. Visit thinkinsulation.com for more tips and advice.
• Placing heat reflectors behind radiators will throw heat back into your room, with an estimated 25% more heat.
• If you don’t have double-glazing, why not opt for secondary double-glazing.
• Make the most of your radiators and heaters. Make sure they are not obscured by furniture or covered by furnishings. Never put clothing or items on your radiators to dry.

Crafty Drafty
You have insulated and wrapped up your home but you may still have some problem draft areas.
• Install thick door curtains and heavy curtains in main rooms to keep heat in. It also helps if you close the curtains at dusk.
• Fit draft excluders around doors and windows.
• One of the biggest problem areas are unused fireplaces. The chimney balloon costs £19.99 and is simple yet clever device. Simply inflate the balloon to block the chimney cavity. Unlike the cheaper alternative of stuffing the chimney with newspaper, the chimney balloon will shrivel and deflate if accidently heated. Buy from chimney-balloon.co.uk.
• Close doors to keep heat in the rooms. If there is still a draft, why not make a draft excluding sausage dog out of scrapes of fabric.
• If you have sash windows that rattle and can’t afford to replace them, you could opt for secondary double glazing. If you can’t afford these changes, you can revert to the traditional draft excluding techniques. Place newspaper in the gaps of the sash windows and carefully seal edges with masking tap (as this can be easily taken off in the summer months).

Paint that keeps you warm
Really, I am not going mad. Insulating paint additive, ThermilateTM is a powder that makes paint insulate! According to thegogreencompany.com, the microspheres within the powder act as mini thermos flasks. ThermilateTM powder is mixed with ordinary paint (one pack mixes into 5 litres of paint) to make an insulating coating that can keep heat in or out. Ideal for insulating buildings, rooms, water tanks and even hot or cold water pipes. Priced at only £19.95, I think this is well worth the money.

Stand up to Standby
Standby uses a shocking amount of electricity. Get used to turning things off at the mains.
Leaving items on standby can cost:
• DVD Players from £1 – £4.50 per year
• DVD Recorders from £2 – £14 per year
• Freeview Boxes from £3.50 – £15.50 per year
• Computer Monitors from £30 per year
• Printer from £15 per year
• Microwave from £7 per year
• Cooker from £7 per year
• Cordless phones from £8 per year
• Stereo from £10 per year
• Windscreen plasma TV’s use more electricity than a fridge freezer.
• PC, Printer, Scanner, Router and Speakers cost £240.90 a year to power if on every day, according to efergy.com

If, like me, you have your DVD, Sky Box, and TV on one extension lead – why not opt for a device that automatically turns them all off. I use the One for All ‘Energy Saver’ universal remote control (costs £34.99 from Electrical outlets). With an estimated saving of up to 90%, it will pay for itself in no time.

Light up your life
We spend 10% of our energy bills on lighting. Energy efficient bulbs can save £10 per bulb per year.
• Get in to the habit of turning lights off when leaving a room.
• Remove net curtains and clean windows and skylights to make the most of the natural light.
• Use timer switches or sensor switches to keep lighting to a minimum.
• Paint your walls with bright light reflecting colours.
• Clever use of mirrors will help lighten dark areas of a room or hallway.
• Candles create a relaxing and intimate atmosphere – and if scented, can help keep your home smelling sweet.

The Big Freeze
To help your fridge or freezer run more efficiently:
• Replace your plug with gadgets such as the SavaPlug will help reduce electricity consumption by up to 20%.
• Defrost your fridge and freezer regularly.
• Keep your fridge and freezer at least three quarters full. If you have a large chest freezer and cannot fill it with food, place cardboard boxes or rolled up newspaper to help fill it up.
• Do not leave the fridge or freezer door open longer than necessary
• Make sure the door seals are working correctly
• Do not place warm or hot food into the fridge or freezer – allow the food to cool first.
• Keep air circulating around the fridge or freezer, particularly around the condenser coils at the back. Clear the condensers of dust regularly as dust can reduce efficiency by up to 25%.

The Great British Cuppa
We all enjoy our cuppa, but kettles use a huge amount of electricity. Buy the most energy efficient kettle you can. Kenwood have a great eco kettle, which reduces consumption by up to 35%, or you could opt for the one cup machines (Tefal and Breville offer these). They use the same amount of electricity as a standard kettle but for a much shorter period – 6 seconds per cup as opposed to 2 minutes in a kettle.

Cook with Savvy
Make use of your oven. I have some great memories of my mum and I spending our Sunday mornings baking whilst also preparing the Sunday roast. We would bake cakes, pies and pastries to last us the whole week, making the most of the oven space. Whenever I use my oven, I always make sure I fill the shelves well and utilise the heat. There are some great gadgets on the market to help save on oven costs. I love the JML Halogen Oven. It cuts electricity costs and reduces cooking time.

Be on the boil
Never heat a pan of water from cold. If you need hot water for cooking, use the kettle to heat this, not the stovetop. This will save time and energy.

Buy wisely
When you need to replace your old appliance, remember to buy the most energy efficient model available. Look at the star rating for more information. It may cost you a few pounds more but think of the long-term savings.

Sarah Flower’s book ‘“Live More, Spend Less”:http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1905862342?ie=UTF8&tag=thegrepar-21&linkCode=as2&camp=1634&creative=19450&creativeASIN=1905862342’ is published by Spring Hill, an imprint of How To Books Ltd and is available at £9.99 in major bookshops and online retailers across the country.

How do you become confident about not knowing? Maybe it is time to review the male perspective around being equal, but different.

The things the universal fixer mends are physical, so a repairer of broken toys or household stuff, indeed an implied part of the stereotype is that by definition a Dad is not a fixer of emotional things, only physical things. How come such a strong stereotype exits and is accepted?

I want to start with some observations from a child’s perspective, particularly a boy’s. As a boy there tends to be a huge curiosity around cause and effect, finding out how things work, a desire to take things apart and explore the inner workings. The curiosity is immediate so that means ‘right now’ and with whatever tools and knowledge that are to hand. So the investigation is unlikely to be with the right tool, maybe instead using a hard thing to bash it open like a convenient peppermill or ornament etc. And taking things apart, particular a new gift is unlikely to be perceived as deserving of love and cuddles.

As an adult, a Dad has different levels of knowledge and aptitude at fixing things, which sounds completely trite but actually is a direct and realistic challenge to the stereotype. Rob Hopkins (co-Founder Transition Towns) describes this generation as a ‘useless generation’. By that he means we may be adept at some manual dexterity on a keyboard/mouse manipulating shapes on a screen in computer-land, but when it comes to mending stuff in the real world, punctures in tyres or growing vegetables or hanging door or whatever – we as a society have lost many skills which only a couple of generations ago were routine. This could vary depending on age, while I was taught a purely academic curriculum at school my daughter is being taught some very (very) basic carpentry, to wire a plug, cook etc. However she learned to fix a puncture because she was interested and because I was there to teach her. That I was in gentle repose on the sofa when she wanted to learn is another matter altogether. And I know how to fix punctures because my father taught me, so I wonder what happens in households where there has been no ‘universal fixer of things’ present or willing to pass on the skills when the Dad is called upon to fulfil his duty.

In simple terms there does seem to be a picture which regardless of actual experience creates a foundation for the stereotype. Firstly, that males tend to ‘learn by doing’, perhaps re-enforced as children by putting things together having initially broken them; the creative process enhanced from that OMG feeling of “how do I put this back together before someone’s finds out I’ve broken it”. This is combined with the social conditioning that fixing things is ‘men’s work’ not only engrained in the hunter-gatherer instincts but in the male/female roles which have evolved out of the pre-and post industrial society. Perhaps it is understandable that from this collective picture the idea evolves that by some form of osmosis being male means you automatically understand how to use tools which are sharp and pointy, so the universal fixer automatically becomes the Dad’s job. Indeed sometimes a really big part of his role, he being almost defined or measured as a good father by his ability with a Philips screwdriver.

And everyone has a learning edge, whatever their skill level and whatever the activity. This is the point where you move from having full understanding of the activity and process, to the point where you ‘haven’t done this before’ but its looks similar to thingermy-wotsit or that looks like it might go in there so I’ll have a try, to the point where actually you really don’t not know what you are doing. Really, really don’t.

It is easy to be relaxed and calm around tools you are familiar and feel confident with, and the child can mirror that sense of calm. The closer you get to the edge of your learning edge, and therefore your comfort zone, the less easy it is to take a step back and maintain that natural calm which subconsciously gives confidence. The more tired you are, or the more rushed you are or irritated the less self-aware you become and less able to handle changes and situations which could lead to an accident happening. And when you have no knowledge of these tools – whether its Mum or Dad – what is the strategy for calmly saying no, I think I need to seek help to fix this, right now it will have to remain unfixed.

And there is frequently an ‘us’ in this fixing scene, the Dad and the child/children. That measuring the width of something long is so much easier if two of you can do it (and so easy to get wrong, which I never understand), or holding something steady so you can mark drill points or saw through. And the huge learning in reaching a point where you realise you are not sure what to do, when it is time to have a cuppa and pause and ponder what to do next. The space for the Dad to ask advice; what do you think? And would that work and maybe why not – and duh why didn’t I think of that! Alternative approaches to ‘if it doesn’t fit hit it harder’, or ‘in the last resort read the instructions’ or just ‘work faster and faster and faster’ to get it done. I’m a past master at that one.

So this can be a great place for not only fixing things and achieving that sense of ‘blimey I did it’, but also for the adult being true to themselves and honest in what they can and cannot do – including genuinely celebrating what they are good at – and how to work through and around what they find difficult. So when mistakes are made to understand how to resolve them and the emotions which arise when things don’t work, when the fix really, really does not work no matter how much care and thought and love you have given to this thing which needed to be fixed.

And of course then we come to the bit about working together, when that part of the mind which is ‘head controlled’ is quietened as you relax into concentration and the true self feels free to communicate. Creating the space where there is communication side by side – a style many boys prefer – and enter a more open communication space, even if few words are said.

This contemplative and calm communication and state can be replicated by doing repetitive physical activity. In Mexico there is a tradition where a father weaves wool around a cross, winding it between the crossed wood so it becomes like a wheel of coloured wool, the cross being the spokes of the wheel, a different colour is used for each child. If you follow this lovely idea as a simple repetitive process it mirrors the times when you do those things which you do things without engaging the brain, those times when perhaps a problem recognised or unrecognised appears with a solution or new perspective.

To consciously get to this quiet brain time, where huge things can be communicated in the look of an eye, or in the silence of not saying, is tricky. The time my daughter chose to learn how to fix the puncture was not a great time for me. That it had been un-repaired for 2 or 3 days (or was it a week?) was a factor, but also I wanted to follow her energy when it was there and it was a conscious decision to lever my oh-leave-me-alone-self from the sofa-land-of-doing-blissful-nothingness, to universal-fixit-man. That is rarely easy, so how do you model your behaviour to reach these points of relaxed calm.

I wonder whether this difficult time is also an opportunity to look at this whole issue from a different angle. Can we use our general desire to ‘do’ things both to unwind but also to include the desires of the children, and maybe even doing some fixing. And this I suggest will be a manufactured space. By that I mean consciously creating something which doesn’t exist now, so plan to create the opportunity for you and those around you. I’m going to use gardening as the example, and even if the start point is one potted plant on the window sill and not knowing or desiring or even interested to know anything about runner beans, that’s the start point of this manufactured space.

Time is a key factor here, and one change of perspective is those times when I am frazzled – like I’ve just coming home from work and just give me 5 minutes and I will be fine – these are exactly the times when you feel you don’t have any time. But when we lie on a death beds, if we have regrets it is less likely to be about getting something done, more about how we related to others.

A space to stop, disengage the brain and do whatever comes, if in the garden wondering, noticing what has changed, just to look and chill and be a bit curious. The spin on this is to invite people to share that space, to be accessible for the demands which may be called upon you. I know it’s risky, because this could become a very powerful personal and nurturing space for you, and there is the temptation to want it private – the image of ‘man in shed’ comes to mind – but I believe there will be space for that as well as using this space for the two humans, you and child, to move to the same pace. It will involve making clear there are boundaries. Please talk, but please do that with me here and then I will come to wherever you want.

I suppose using the analogy of dad as universal and omnipotent fixer highlights the challenges of modelling our own behaviour so that others can follow and learn, including the mutual learning. Fixing something almost invariably means an interruption to something else you prefer to do, there is scope for great Mum-Dad debates about how and why it needs fixing – even more so if a sole parent, you just got yourself to have a go at then – and so the challenge of moving beyond that and recognising and valuing the other human, creating the space for that communication to be valued and expressed.

After all there is only learning, there is only love.

I would have laughed if anyone had told me a few years ago that I would be doing what I am now. I would have been surprised too. I mean, why would anybody choose to breastfeed a three-year-old child? At three they are a proper little walking, talking person. How bizarre, I used to think, to breastfeed a child at that age. I have never been one of those people who are strangely repulsed by breastfeeding, and had seen enough toddlers and children being breastfed for it not to be totally alien but I couldn’t have imagined doing it myself.

First Experiences
When I had my first child fourteen years ago, I was committed to breastfeeding her. I had just returned from a number of years living in the Caribbean where women were out and about feeding babies, toddlers and older children. It was a financial necessity and nobody really gave much thought to whether it was ‘normal’ or not; it was natural and ordinary and not particularly newsworthy.

Alyssa was born after a labour that I described afterwards as horrific. I felt like some kind of a failure; a woman who had struggled to do the most natural thing – give birth. I was overwhelmed by waves of powerful love, mixed with anxiety and worry about the thought of mothering this wonderful little baby.

I breastfed her for six weeks. I had tried hard, it was the most difficult thing I had ever done. I spent four weeks crying in pain at every feed; I was cracked and bleeding and turned to everyone around me for advice – mother, midwife, health visitor, other mothers – but all I got were quizzical looks and suggestions to give up. Eventually my doctor advised me to stop feeding and after a further few days of tears and upset I gave in and started to formula feed her.

The nipples healed but the emotional scars did not. Everywhere I turned I saw women breastfeeding their contented babies or advertisements and news stories telling me how I had failed my precious little girl. I developed a severe post natal depression that blighted the first two years of my daughters life. The voice in my head insisted that I had failed utterly as a woman. I hadn’t been able to birth her successfully and I hadn’t been able to feed her myself. Two occurrences, as natural as the sun rising in the morning; and both things women have been doing for thousands of years.

Further Challenges
The whole experience had put me off having any more children: I couldn’t bear to go through the pain again but five years later I decided to face my fears. The birth was a more positive experience and I again committed myself to breastfeed my new daughter.

This time I tried not to place too much emotional attachment onto the idea of feeding; to protect myself from future pain. When my new daughter was six-days-old I got an agonising infection that required strong antibiotics. The doctor prescribed tablets suitable for ‘nursing mothers’ but I was sure that I could smell them on the milk and Ella was constantly howling and in obvious discomfort. Rather than try to get through it I made the decision to swap to formula milk. In my head breastfeeding had already failed so why put her through unnecessary discomfort?

I was pregnant again very soon after having Ella and twelve months after her birth I gave birth easily and almost without incident to my first son. Breastfeeding went well initially but within a couple of weeks I was experiencing the same problems I had with my first daughter. The pain was agonising and once again I turned to my health professionals for assistance. Again, nobody could really help. I was doing everything ‘right’ but for whatever reason one of my nipples was severely cracked, bleeding and started to become infected.

I desperately wanted it to work this time, and I started to drop feeds from the painful side and feed more from the one that was fine. By the time Finley was six-weeks-old I was entirely feeding him from one side. This caused many a raised eyebrow. “Are you sure that you are producing enough milk?” asked a well-meaning relative.
“Yes, he looks fine doesn’t he?” I replied defensively.
“For now yes, but surely you can’t do that when he gets bigger?”
My confidence was on the floor so I went to my doctor to check if I would be able to do it. He was very surprised and had obviously never been asked about this before but thought it might be alright for a little bit. Bolstered, I continued for another six weeks – all the while without support or any idea of whether this was sufficient for the baby.

Then Finley started to fuss at the breast and those niggling doubts came flooding back. I convinced myself he wasn’t getting enough milk and rather quickly he was moved onto formula milk. I couldn’t believe that I was unable to breastfeed again, but felt ecstatic that I had fed him for three months.

Knowledge is Power
When Finley was twelve-months-old I started training as an Antenatal Teacher for the National Childbirth Trust. During my training I came to know and understand so much more about breastfeeding and debriefed all my experiences to the nth degree. I came out the other side feeling rather philosophical about the whole thing, and had managed to get shot of all the emotional baggage I had been carrying around with me. Oh, and I was pregnant again.

This time I knew where to get good quality information and support. I spent a fair amount of the pregnancy getting information about my particular problems and ideas for things that would help. I spoke to a woman who had lost a breast due to cancer but had managed to breastfeed all six of her children. This feat included twins and a toddler at the same time! I thought that if she could sustain three children from one breast, then I could do the same for one baby.

Healing Wounds
I had a totally different birth, in water at a birth centre. There were no complications, it was a short and easy labour (not something I would have said at the time) and my new son was put to the breast within seconds of birth.

Sam was the most avid feeder of all of my children. He would merrily have sucked for 24hrs a day if he could. I levered him off occasionally but I fed him whenever he needed to be fed and we commenced our breastfeeding relationship, one that would continue for a long time. I gave up feeding him from my right breast within four weeks of birth and continued very happily feeding him from the other one.

I didn’t bother consulting anybody but trained breastfeeding counsellors if I had any questions or problems. I attended breastfeeding support groups to talk about issues with other experienced breastfeeding mothers and was overjoyed to be doing something that I really had thought I physically couldn’t do.

In the first year of feeding he continued to feed every two or three hours round the clock. Some people frowned and thought it was abnormal but I was unshakable in my belief that it was totally normal for an exclusively breastfed baby, and told them so. Sam was with me constantly and I was so full of those lovely breastfeeding hormones that I just didn’t care; this was my life for now and anything else could wait. I enjoyed watching him with his brother and sisters, and didn’t feel the need to ‘escape’ or become obsessed by my own need for independence. I felt that he would be small for such a short period of time that I should enjoy it. With such a negative breastfeeding history, I treasured this experience all the more.

‘Expert’ help
When he was about one-year-old he developed a sudden infection on holiday that necessitated a visit to the local Accident and Emergency department. Here I had one of the more memorable of encounters with a health professional.
“Hello there. I am the admissions nurse and need to get some further information about Samuel”
“Ok, fire away”
Lots of standard questions about height/weight/vaccinations etc followed. Then the strangest of exchanges took place.
“Does Sam have any allergies?” she asked.
“Yes, he is allergic to egg and intolerant to cows’ milk” I said, while breastfeeding him.
“But you’re feeding him!” the nurse gasped.
“Err… yes?”
“He’s allergic to milk! Are you allowed to feed him?” she looked very worried.
“He is allergic to COWS’ milk” I repeated.
“So he can have breast milk?”
“Yes. Luckily I am not a cow!” I replied in utter amazement.
I was amazed by the ignorance, especially given that she was a nurse. My amazement lessened over the following years when I came into contact with one after another health professionals whose only knowledge about breastfeeding included the ability to parrot ‘Breast is Best’ and to quote the World Health Organisation’s guidelines to anyone who asked. The volume of misinformation given freely by health professionals was astonishing.

Defending the normal
Lots of people wondered why he was still being fed, but I didn’t really have an answer. Why not? He was growing and developing, I was producing the perfect food for him and we were both happily getting on with it. I didn’t suddenly wake up feeding a toddler, I had fed him every day from being a baby and he never suddenly look too old to feed. He always looked a day older than he had the day before!

I couldn’t believe that the substance that at 364 days of age was highly beneficial and tailored just for him would be worthless the next day when he had turned one, as some doctors spouted. I never looked down at his little face while he fed and thought we looked weird. It looked like the most natural thing in the world, and any mention that it wasn’t was offensive and upsetting and I started to feel quite militant about it.

I joined the ‘yah… I’m STILL breastfeeding’ and the ‘I make milk, what’s your superpower?’ groups on the social networking site Facebook and wrote letters of complaint to any newspapers or television channels that put out incorrect information about breastfeeding. I found my blood boiling when I read of women being thrown out of restaurants for breastfeeding, or heard people making derogatory comments about women who breastfeed their children to full term or allow their children to wean themselves when they are ready.

Extraordinary Breastfeeding
Although Sam mainly stopped feeding in the day when he turned two, we didn’t ‘go underground’ as many mothers feel they have to. I continued to talk openly about the fact that I am still breastfeeding him – for goodness sake, I am bursting with pride about it! I have nursed Sam through some serious illnesses when breast milk was the only thing sustaining him and breastfed him through painful procedures. He is intolerant to cows’ milk and thanks to my milk he didn’t need any highly engineered soya formula milk, with the associated health and environmental problems. He hardly ate anything for eighteen months and yet he has grown into a normal and healthy boy because my breast milk is made just for him and has everything that he needs in it. What is there to be ashamed of?

He is coming up for three-and-a-half years old now and any mention of stopping breastfeeding brings forth cries of anguish. People seem to need to know when I intend to give up feeding, as if their lives depend on it, and I still don’t know the answer to that. In fact the only answer I can give is that Sam will stop feeding when Sam stops feeding. And that is that.

FURTHER READING
The Food of Love by Kate Evans
Bestfeeding: How to Breastfeed your baby by Mary Renfrew
The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding by Judy Torgus

Gorgeous image is courtesy of Mama C-ta

Start Small You don’t need a garden to grow things – chillies, peppers, tomatoes and basil will all thrive on a sunny windowsill. Sprout seeds for fresh greens every day. If you have a patio or balcony you have even greater scope. A tray of salads and greens is a good use of space as they taste so much better freshly picked and salads in supermarkets are over packaged and expensive. Choose organic seeds to ensure that you garden is 100% organic. See organiccatalog.com or tamarorganics.co.uk. Gardenorganic.co.uk has lots of helpful facts sheets and advice on creating and maintaining a natural space without recourse to chemicals. For organic seedlings visit rocketgardens.co.uk or organicplants.co.uk.

Enhance The Soil You can compost nearly all your waste food, garden waste and cardboard. You can build your own bin with a few planks of wood, or cut the bottom off an old rubbish bin. Lots of councils offer subsidised composting equipment. At the top end, greencone.com offer a solar-powered compost bin for £68, which comes with its own accelerator.

Push Power One petrol lawnmower generates as much pollution in an hour as driving a car for 100 miles. Get a manual mower instead. It may take a bit more elbow grease but mowing the lawn is a far pleasanter form of exercise than slogging down the gym. Manualmowers.co.uk offer a range of hand powered equipment for lawns.

Sparkly Nights Instead of electric lighting for parties and summer evenings why not fill all your used jam jars with tea lights for a really magical effect? If you choose to have lights in the garden look for solar powered ones. Green store ecohamster.co.uk has an excellent range of eco friendly lighting products. Choose natural materials for your garden in order to avoid carbon intensive production and eventual disposal of plastics and other petroleum products. At fig1.co.uk there is a beautiful selection of green gardening goodies (above) including recycled tyre baskets and trugs and coir pots.

Save Water Firstly get a water butt for collecting rainwater. This is good for the health of your plants and more economical too. Plants prefer rainwater to mains water. Leave grass cuttings on the lawn. And for deep greenies, do away with the lawn and grow food instead. Mulch around plants using homemade compost and grow companion plants such as squash around the base of sweetcorn and beans to retain moisture in the soil. Water early in the morning to stop it all evaporating or the leaves of sensitive plants getting burnt.

Say No To Peat Over 90% of peat bogs in this country have been damaged or destroyed – mostly in the last 50 years. Peat bogs are thousands of years old and help us to understand our climate and environment better. Many also support wildlife. Around 70% of peat use today is by gardeners as potting compost. Make your own compost, buy peat-free compost where necessary, and ensure that any plants you buy are supplied in peat free compost. Find out more at rspb.org.uk.

FURTHER READING:
The Organic Garden: Green gardening for a Healthy Planet by Allan Shepherd “I love this book – it’s full of great ideas and information. Quirky illustrations and lush photography add to the appeal.”
Organic Gardening: The Natural No-Dig Way by Charles Dowding “My type of gardening! – there’s no need to dig, let nature do her work and your soil will be in optimum health and fertility. Seriously, this is a vital book packed with insight and inspiration and a good read too.”
The Self-Sufficientish Bible by Andy and Dave Hamiliton “A gorgeous book stuffed with ideas on how to go green in every area of your life but with particular emphasis on growing and eating your own. I refer back to this bible time and time again.”
The Encyclopedia of Organic Gardening: The Complete Guide to Natural and Chemical-free Gardening “I would love to own two copies of this book one for the bookshelf for curling up on the sofa in the winter months and the other for the greenhouse, ready at hand to share tips and advice, identify problems and offer solutions. A brilliant comprehensive guide.”
Organic Gardening by Geoff Hamiliton “Another lush, well produced book packed with easy to follow information and insight from one of our best-loved gardeners.”

Bria Organics, do an organic nappy balm (£12) made with chamomile, chickweed and shea butter. The sea buckthorn also works wonders on inflamed skin. Specially formulated for sensitive skin prone to rashes, the rich luxurious hemp cream at Innocent Oils is great for nappy rash. It can also be used to smooth away fine lines, so good for mum too! Available for £3.99. At Willow Trading they stock a number of natural baby ranges including Essential Care baby lotion, which is suitable for sore inflamed skin. And for soothing baths, babipur.co.uk has a lovely organic oats and chamomile blend, which should aid peaceful sleep too! Good luck in your search.

Home solutions
NAPPY RASH Let your baby have as much free time without nappies as possible – you might like to research Elimination Communication – see Diaper-Free Baby below.
ITCHY SKIN Use a broken Aloe Vera leaf to spread gel onto the affected area. Allow to dry before covering.
REDNESS Cooled organic chamomile tea can be applied to sore, red skin to calm the inflammation.
DRY CHAPPED SKIN Make a balm with five parts organic sweet almond oil to one part organic beeswax.

FURTHER READING:
Diaper Free: The Gentle Wisdom of Natural Infant Hygiene by Ingrid Bauer “This book explains the hows and whys of elimination communication, which encourages a better relationship between parents and baby and helps you save thousands of pounds.”
Diaper Free Baby: The Natural Toilet-Training Alternative for a Happier, Healthier Baby or Toddler “learn to respond to your baby’s cues in a natural non-coercive way and say goodbye to nappies for good.”

It’s safe to say that we’d be horrified if our child got hold of a bottle of ant-killer and put it to her lips – those black crosses are rightfully alarming. But food that has been intensively farmed can contain any number of residues from fertilizers, pesticides, fungicides, drugs and antibiotics, and is readily available in our supermarkets, without black crosses on the packets! All of these contaminants can find their way into the body’s systems and are toxic to the nervous system, damage endocrine and reproductive organs, and can be toxic to the immune system as well as being linked to cancer. A child’s developing organs are less able to eliminate harmful chemicals, and research shows that pesticides can have a more detrimental effect on their health. Their bodies are made up of a higher proportion of water than adults, meaning that water soluble chemicals are more easily transported. It is an unfortunate truth that despite Government regulations controlling the use of chemicals in farming, food is regularly found to contain much higher levels than are considered acceptable. As a consumer, you have the power to reject this kind of farming and choose to support a different way of doing things. An organic diet is an empowering way to take responsibility for your family’s health.

“Organic foods contain higher levels of vitamin C and essential minerals”

Organic foods contain higher levels of vitamin C and essential minerals such as calcium, magnesium, iron and chromium as well as cancer-fighting antioxidants. Intensive farming robs the soil of its natural nutrients, meaning that the nutritive value of our food is only going to go down if we don’t support organic farming. This kind of farming works closely with the environment and the seasons, respecting the earth’s natural habitats. Research has shown that organic farms have 44% more birds and more than five times as many wild plants as other farms. They also produce less carbon dioxide which is the main global warming gas. Extensive farming has led to the extinction of many natural species and the pollution of rivers and lakes. Visiting an organic farm and meeting the farmer is an exciting way for families to learn more about their food and its impact on the planet. Actually seeing these farming methods in action can be a deciding factor in choosing organic for your family – supporting local farms and witnessing the love and attention they need to survive often makes you think twice about choosing factory-farmed produce.

What will sway even the most unconvinced is the delicious taste of organic food. Organic fruit and vegetables contain less water than non-organic and other organic foods are free from the fillers, artificial colourings and preservatives that infiltrate much of the food that is aimed at children. In choosing organic food, you are making a statement as a consumer by supporting organic farming, for the benefits to your family’s health and to your planet as a whole.

Daphne Lambert is an award winning chef and owner of the first restaurant to be certified by the Soil Association. Author of several books including The Organic Baby and Toddler Cookbook, she is passionate about nutrition and healthy eating. These beliefs were the driving force behind Green Cuisine, which offers courses in food and health. We spoke with Daphne about children’s nutrition.

How important is pre-conceptual diet for the future health of the child? A mother’s health and nutrition during pre conception and pregnancy have a profound effect on the health of a baby. Nutrition for both partners is important. It takes three months for sperm to mature while the egg takes a month and during this time optimum nutrition will maximise the quality.

How important is organic food for family health? Hugely important. Many of the array of chemicals, additives etc used in non organic food contribute to cancer and other degenerative diseases. Babies and toddlers are more at risk of these residues due to their small size and their large food intake. Plus they have underdeveloped organs and bodily systems, especially the immune system.

What advice would you give to parents to encourage their children to eat healthily? Make it social and fun, not a battleground.

What are your aims at Green Cuisine? To help people make the conscious choices required for optimum health. Our aim is to create a deeper understanding of the use of ingredients and their effect on the body.

Tell us about your kitchen garden at Penrhos? The garden is veganic (organic and animal free). We grow medicinal and culinary herbs, soft fruit and orchard fruits.

What, in your opinion, are the vital building blocks that a child needs for good health? The body has a high protein content so they need good quality protein for body growth. The brain has a high lipid content so it is essential to make sure the diet includes the essential fatty acids. Studies show that an omega 3 rich diet supports cognitive development and learning ability, neurological functioning, boosts the immune system and might even relieve childhood depression.

FURTHER READING
The Organic Baby and Toddler Cookbook: From First Foods to Family Meals by Daphne Lambert and Tania Maxted-Frost
The Organic Baby Book: How to plan and raise a healthy child by Tania Maxted-Frost
Green Parenting: The Best for You, Your Child and the Environment by Melissa Corkhill