The Greer Family

Faith

2014-03-25T17:03:00.003-06:00

Many of you know I am not a writer. I never have been and may never be... hopefully I will get that talent someday! :) I have a huge post I have been working on, but its not ready to go yet and I feel like I want to jot down some thoughts I have had lately. I have been thinking a lot after getting many questions from fellow neighbors and friends (I really live by the best people ever). Everyone is so concerned for Kynlee as well as the rest of my family. "How are you holding up?" "Are you guys doing OK?" "When will you find out?" All of these are valid and very thoughtful questions. This is a huge deal and could be a big life changer for us. I have noticed that my responses seem to surprise people when I say we are doing good! I think back to January when the doctor found Kynlee's swollen lymph-node. My initial reaction was of great concern, even though I really had no reason to worry at that point. As time went on and more tests came back negative(leaving the option of the more serious left) I would go back and forth with my emotions. I had moments of fear and uneasiness. No one ever wants to see someone they love go through something so horrible, especially my little, beautiful, sweet baby girl. I experienced sadness, only to remember that I didn't have to feel this way. Somewhere along the way I reminded myself that Faith can replace my Fear. This is something I have had many opportunities to test and put into action due to many personal experiences. I also know that worrying about something will do me NO good, it will only fill my head with negative thoughts and that is not beneficial to me or anyone around me. So I work really hard at not doing this. And guess what? I do have faith! Faith in my Heavenly Fathers plan for me and my family. I know through experience that whatever it is he asks of me, I can do it. He knows me individually and he knows what I need and how I need to grow and what it's going to take to get me there. I also know that he has blessed me with so many wonderful blessings. He has not left me out here on my own. I have been blessed with so many dear friends in my life along with a testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ, and this knowledge brings me comfort. So here we are now a day away from results, and I feel peace. Im sure a lot of that comes from all of those praying for our family right now, but I also believe it comes from the faith that I do have. We hope to find out tomorrow that everything is just fine and it was just a really big, benign reactive lymph-node for some odd reason. If that's the case I will be grateful I didn't wallow in self pity for no reason. If the results come back as lymphoma then I will continue to pray for my little girl and for the strength, courage and faith necessary to make it through the hard days ahead. And this is why I say, "We are doing good!" Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Game night

2014-01-12T20:49:00.001-07:00

5 years ago!

2013-11-09T21:28:00.002-07:00

Well, in so many ways I cannot believe it has been 5 years and then on the other hand it seems like it has been forever ago! This is definitely a day we will never forget. We have always tried to make this day a day of celebration, since we didn't loose anyone that night in our horrible car accident. We started a tradition of going up to Park City for the weekend with our family and friends and it usually seemed to help us not think too much about it and just enjoy our time together(except for last year, and maybe that was just extra hard since I had been through some rough surgeries that year and had recently been recovering from one). This year that didn't work out with our friends schedule, so we will be enjoying that beautiful place next week! This day is always filled with mixed emotions. On one hand I feel extremely grateful for the many blessings we have been blessed with along the way-friends, family and most importantly each other and yet on the other it is a reminder of what has caused all the hurt, pain and suffering I along with my family have had to endure. I woke up this morning with my eyes feeling swollen(which happens from time to time), a really bad headache(everyday and all day occurrence), a cold sore(that just sucked!) and a discouraged, depressed feeling. I wasn't expecting to feel this down and so I thought there is no way I can write or post anything today, like I had originally had planned. I try really hard to stay positive and to focus my energy on that. I am one that tries really hard to deal with my pain as much as I can, I don't want my children growing up thinking mom was always in fragile condition and depressed and ill(they still probably think that I was always in fragile condition, but hopefully not the rest). I think some of my sadness came from the fact that I thought we were going to do something cool together as a family today and then I learned Bill had to meet with his school group and he had TONS of homework to do. He could obviously sense my discouragement this morning, it probably didn't help that it took me so long to get out of bed, but he tried to make things better. I laid there in bed and kept telling myself, "Get over it Cari, buck up and be strong! You can do this! You cant change what happened, don't let that day, ruin today for you. Don't focus on how hard the last 5 years have been and how you wished it had never happened. Focus on your blessings and cheer up." After a little while of convincing myself, I got up and put on a smile. I was blessed with some good friends who remembered my anniversary today and sent me nice messages. Then I had an amazing neighbor that brought over a disc of a fireside I gave. I put the disc in and watched some of it. It's crazy to think about everything we have had to go through. And, I say we, because my family has had to sacrifice and they have suffered to. I cant think of many husbands that have had to run a household, manage a job and take care of a sick wife day in and day out. Anyway, these messages and love from my friends helped play a role in my attitude adjustment! We decided as a family to go out to breakfast before Bill had to start all of his homework. We enjoyed a nice time together at IHOP, then we came home and enjoyed the beautiful weather outside where the kids rode their bikes and played with their friends. Bill unfortunately, had to go to school so the kids and I ordered some pizza and watched a movie to end the night. As hard as this day is for me, I cant help but feel gratitude. As a family this is something we really try to keep our focus on because if we don't it is easy to feel overwhelmed by our daily challenges. As a family every night we each say something we are grateful for. Not just in November, but every day of the year. Today I am grateful for a lot! I am grateful for amazing friends and family who have been there for us when we have needed it. I am grateful for the sacrifices others have made on our behalf. I am grateful for the friendships that have been formed through the service that has been rendered. I am grateful for the opportunities I have had to share my story and to influence/help others while doing that. I am grateful for the listening ears when I have really needed someone to talk to, especially when I was down. Im thankful for those who cared for my children, while I wasn't able to. I'm grateful for friends that were inspired to call or show-up when I was feeling down. Im grateful for peace that comes from the knowledge and testimony that I have from being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I'm grateful for a supportive husband who many times has had to sacrifice his own wants to help me and our family. Im grateful for children that press forward even when things are hard. Most importantly, Im grateful for the opportunity that I get to watch my family grow up, that I get to be there for their soccer games, help them with homework, meet their friends and help teach them right from wrong and Im grateful I get to spend more time with my best friend. This night 5 years ago could have easily had a different outcome and even though I joke that I wished it had been the different outcome(just because it is so hard every single day), Im grateful that it turned out the way it did, even though its tough. I get the opportunity to stick around and witness all of these everyday blessings and miracles.

Family Pictures 2013

2013-10-19T20:25:00.002-06:00

Our attempt to make family pictures fun!! Love this! Thank you NICK STONE PHOTOGRAPHY for doing such an amazing job on the video and KELLI WEST PHOTOGRAPHY for the actual pictures!
#utahfamilyphotographer #familypictures #familyfun

Go check it out!

http://vimeo.com/77312958

Kaylees 4th Birthday

2013-02-16T10:46:00.005-07:00

4 Years Old

Its already been a month but I figure better late than never! This was Kaylee's first friend birthday party and I have to admit it was so much fun to plan. Kaylee was very involved in the planning in fact I dont know how many 4 year olds care as much as she did. The theme changed multiple times, but we eventually settled on a Princess theme! She really wanted her friends to be able to dress up, so I thought 4 was a perfect age to do it!

Kaylee was excited all week and couldn't wait for the big day! We spent her actual birthday a few days earlier as a family where she got her favorite breakfast(crepes), macaroni and cheese for lunch and chicken nuggets(all her choices) for dinner. After dinner she received her long awaited Butterscotch Pony that she has been wanting for a really long time. We celebrated with some cupcakes and then ran off to pack meeting!

Princess Party!

Photography by Kelli West Photography (obviously the nice photos were by her, some were from mom!)

Loved this affordable printout set I bought from Etsy

We made these tulle wands that I found off of Pinterest!

The party was a hit with our very own face painter that glammed all the princess up with their choice of design!

I took some pictures in to Costco of ideas for her cake and they did not disappoint!

We ended the night with bubble blowing fun with dad!

I cant express how grateful I am to have Kaylee in our family. She truly is our miracle and I cant imagine my life without her. Kaylee is always so giving to those around her and she has really grown up this last year. She loves learning and is my first child that can really color all day long. She is writing her name really well and loves to do her homework. This girl loves anything to do with make believe. She makes up songs, stories and plays pretend with her dress ups, barbies and dolls all the time. Not only is she so fun to play with, but she is also great to sit down and talk with. I love spending time with her and love her smile and energy she adds to our family. I love you so much Miss Kaylee! I feel so blessed to get to celebrate each day with my family! We always have so much fun together! Happy Birthday Kaylee!

testing...

2013-01-07T23:36:00.001-07:00

Well, I started out this blog post looking for something for a friend that is converting a video file for me to see what types of videos Blogger allows. So, I just grabbed a video to upload to try. It obviously worked! I was just about to delete this when I thought I should probably leave this on, because this was a part of my life back in Nov/Dec This was an audition for an adults ballroom dance team, which I was going to participate in until I realized how unstable my health still is. A big part of me is bummed that I am unable to do this right now. For me dance is a passion of mine and I was so excited to be able to do it again(since its been so long) The team meets after my kids go to bed and its only once a week so I thought it would be perfect. I little exercise and some great stress relief. I made it to 3 practices, and then I made a decision that wasnt easy for me. Obviously, this is not the end, I will get better and be on this team sometime in the future!

Blast from the past

2013-01-07T23:20:00.001-07:00

Im not strong!

2012-12-09T15:11:00.000-07:00

So, Kaylee and I were playing barbies together today and she was pretending that they were scared and I said(as one of the barbie charcters)"Im not scared because I am brave!" She then replied, No mom, she cant be brave, she doesn't have red curly hair and her name is not Merida. I then explained to her what brave means, and how we don't have to be Merida from the Disney movie to be brave. I was telling her some characteristics of someone who is brave. I said they can be courageous, strong...that is where she interrupted me and said, "well, you cant be brave then because you are not strong!' Thank you daughter, thank you very much! I guess I better start lifting weights!

Love being a mom!

2012-12-03T16:16:00.001-07:00

Kaylee fell down outside and came in and showed me her owie. She said, "Mom, Im pretty sure hot chocolate will make it all better!" Yeah, Im pretty sure hot chocolate will do the job!

Also, Kyle came home from school today and he was the MIGHTY MUSTANG!!! I was so happy for him! Way to go Kyle!

November 9, 2008

2012-11-09T22:28:00.001-07:00

PART ONE

Well, to start off I'm not very good with words, so I'll do the best I can and hope you guys can bear with me. What I wanted to do today, is write down my experiences that I had four years ago today. Actually, I'm going to start back six and half years ago, because it will help you get a better idea of where my life was at. I was a stay-at-home mom to two cute little boys. I was enjoying motherhood, but was trying to find a way to earn a little extra money when I had this idea come to me in the middle the night. I wanted to do shoe parties!

There were all types of parties out there, but at the time there weren't any shoe parties! After a lot of work and convincing to my husband I figured out a way to do it. I promised him I would start out by hosting my own shoe party in our home. So I began the preparations with invitations, etc. I didn't tell anyone I invited about my little experiment. I wanted to see how it would fare and I didn’t want anyone doing me any favors. It was my test to see how well it was going to turn out, if this could really be a viable business.

My husband was a little skeptic and so he anxiously watched from the hallway as he saw woman after woman coming in and purchasing shoes, then leaving with their purchases that night. After the party ended, we counted the money and found it was a success! We had found something that women love, shoes! Not only that, but it was a fun way to shop with your friends. All we had to do now was develop a way to make it work.

Now, at the time I was so excited about this new idea I came up with that I told my husband all I would have to do to take parties to others homes was pack up all the shoes in the car and take them to the hostess's homes and then unload my car each time, sell and then load it all back up and go home. Well, my husband was smart and said that after awhile that would get really old and I would get burnt our really fast. Looking back now, he was absolutely right, so instead we came up with a way to make a mobile shoe party. It took lots of hard work and trial and error to get our system developed. Yet, we did it! We developed a shoe store on wheels. We purchased a 7x16 foot long trailer and built out shelving and restraints to keep the product in an organized fashion. Then we showed up to people’s homes and set up a display then let the fun begin. The customers loved the idea of trying it on and taking it home with them in the same night!

It didn’t take long for the parties to take off. It was a unique idea and come on, it was shoes! People were able to host parties, get all the girls together and earn free product off of their friend’s purchases. I was so busy with parties that I was months booked out! It didn’t take long until I had multiple people coming to me wanting to be a part of our system and sell shoes. We started selling franchises which not only was a benefit to me and my family but it also allowed other moms to make money, without having to work too much out of the home. I loved that part, I felt like I was helping families. This also helped our franchise business to grow. Due to the growth of our business we were quickly getting too cramped where we were living and we made the decision to start building our first home. Life was busy with a growing business, building a home, running our other business (my husband and I also owned a Smoothie/Sandwich/Salad restaurant, but he mainly took care of that) and on top of that we were expecting our third baby! Things were exciting, not only with business, but also with our family. We found out we were expecting our first baby girl and we were so excited! I felt like I was on top of the world and at other times I wondered how I could manage everything! Overall things were going really well.

When I was 7 months pregnant we found out I needed to be on moderate bed rest. How was I supposed to keep up with my very busy schedule? Our house was getting closer to being finished and quite honestly I couldn’t wait for that. My plate was full and I kept thinking that having the house done would be one less thing I would have to worry about. This part of the story brings me to four years ago.

We had just sold our 9^th franchise, which always requires tons of work. Things were crazy at our house. My mom knew we had a lot to work to do and she didn’t want me over doing it so she offered to take my kids for the weekend so I could relax and take it easy. We finished the trailer and spent a little time resting and then we started the drive out to my mom’s house to pick up the kids and have a little family dinner. My mom lives out in the beautiful country and so we always enjoy our drives there. We thought this would be just like any other.

On the way home my husband and I discussed the week ahead, talked about what kind of light fixtures we wanted to put in our new home, etc. It was dark driving on this one lane highway. I was always on the watch for deer on these drives so in the dark they seemed more intense. The next thing we knew a big truck was coming at us with their brights on. This blinded us for a second as we were turning the corner, when the next thing we knew there were three black cows in the middle of the road. Driving 65 miles per hour doesn’t give much time for reaction. I don't remember anything; I don't even remember seeing the cows, although my kids in the backseat said that I screamed so I must've seen them.

Before we knew it, we collided with one of the black cows. The cow came through the windshield on my side (the passenger side of the car) where he collided/kissed my face! The impact turned our car and made it go down to the right side of the road into a little swampy area with big tall weeds. My husband said at first he thought I was ejected because it was so dark and all he saw was a big hole in the windshield. He quickly realized that I was laying there bleeding profusely my head. My husband knew immediately that it was an emergency, so he tried to call 911, but there was no cell phone reception. He told my boys to wait there while he went to go get help.

My husband walked up to the side of the road and in the process another vehicle drove over the cow we hit that was still lying in the road. My oldest son (5 years at the time) said that he heard that big noise and thought that dad got hit by a car, so he unbuckled his seat belt and got out of his car seat. He then says he came and shook my shoulder saying, “Mom, wake up, wake up, we need you. Mom, please wake up, we need your help.” Obviously, I wasn’t much help unconscious. Luckily, my husband didn't get hit by a car and came back down the hill and was able to get the kids out of the car quickly so that they didn't have to watch me, their mom lying there unconscious. The highway patrolman called me a fatality and said they were just trying to save the life of my unborn baby.

The first ambulance arrived where they took me out of the car and got me on the way to the nearest hospital. I found out later that my husband rode with me in the ambulance. I asked him, “Why did you do that? Why did you leave our two little kids by themselves?” He said that they were waiting for another ambulance to arrive and that he had to have faith and trust the people in charge would take care of our kids and do the things that were best for them I learned about a family that let my boys sit in their car while they worked to get me out of the car and to keep them away from me. What a blessing! I wish I knew who they were to thank them. It really means a lot to me, still to this day.

I went by ambulance to the nearest hospital where they quickly determined that they were going to be unable to take care of me so they called for life flight where they were sending me to the top trauma hospital in our state. My husband was unable to come in the helicopter with me so he quickly got in the car and started his trek to the hospital. Once I arrived they put me through tests and then I quickly underwent major surgery. They found through 3d scans that my damage was intense and prepared my family for the worst.

My face was shattered from the top of my jaw up to the middle of my skull. Once they cut me open they realized quickly that the little bones that were left intact would shatter when they would try and screw plates and screws into them. Any bone that was left was unstable and fragile. The doctor said they had to vacuum the bones out my face. My first surgery went a little over eight hours when my heart rate was dropping so they had to quickly stitch me up. I was place in the ICU and had to wait to get strong enough to go in for surgery again Because they were unable to finish what they started my family said they sat by my bed and had to listen to the bones crunching anytime I moved my face. They watched as I sucked through a straw and witnessed my face sinking in. My husband said it was horrible to watch.

A few days later I went under another major surgery for another eight hours where they were able to go in and work more on my face and head. When I woke up my eyes were stitched closed and my mouth was wired shut with a breathing tube down my throat. I remember feeling very claustrophobic. I couldn’t see anything, so all I had was my sense of touch and sound. I longed for the touch of my husband and mothers hand. I hated the time I was all alone when they made my family leave during nurse shift changes. I remember them telling my family to go home one night and get some rest because they had given me so many drugs that I would be out of it. Well, I wasn’t! That was the worst night of my life! I was scared and felt so alone. I started to imagine that I had been sent to a misfit place out in the middle of nowhere and I wondered if I would ever get to go home. I would always be thinking about all the business things that needed to be done and how my kids were holding up. I worried about my unborn baby and prayed she would be ok. Because my right arm was also broken I was in a cast from my shoulder to my fingertips. I am right-handed so that meant I couldn't even write. I love to communicate, so not being able to talk was really hard for me. I would try to write with my left hand to get messages to those around me. They were usually a scribbled mess with something like, “Don’t leave me”, and “I need you to do this for the business” and “How are my kids and the baby?” It’s amazing when you don't have certain senses how much you learn to appreciate and be grateful for all you do have.

The doctors kept saying, “You are a miracle!” “You should be brain-dead!” “We can't believe you're okay!” “You should have never survived that impact!” To go with all of that, they couldn’t believe that my little baby was still inside my tummy. She was a huge miracle! They even had a place reserved for her on our hospital bill in the NICU. The doctors monitored her extensively and they gave her a steroid shot to help her develop her lungs because they really did not think that she would stay in the womb. They watched her closely as I was having contractions but she was a fighter and she was not ready to come out! Lucky for our family she did camp out a little longer and didn’t make her appearance until she was only a week early!

The days and nights all blended together while I lay in the hospital. I recently learned about family members that were grateful I couldn’t see during most of my stay, because they would sit next to me and hold my hand while they cried. While tears streamed down their face they would comfort me with their “fake” strong voices. I know that really did help me stay positive. I remember lying in my hospital bed and not being able to breathe on my own. I remember wanting to drink water so bad. After they removed the breathing tube, I had to pass a swallow test. I failed my first one and I was devastated. I barely made it through the 2^nd test a long while later. I learned that drinking water is a wonderful blessing that I took for granted before. Having my eyes stitched closed only complicated the situation.

Yet, while I laid there I couldn't help but be grateful that no one else in my car was injured that night. I was so grateful that I was the only one that took a hit. It could've been a lot worse; I could've lost my entire family that night. They say that when you hit a cow, they usually end up in the backseat. If that happened in our case it would have killed my two little boys. I don’t remember ever feeling sorry for myself, as I laid there in pain. I felt a lot stronger than I thought I was. I understood what really mattered and was so grateful for all the miracles that happened that night.

Once I got out of the ICU my husband still stayed with me around the clock, but as I got stronger I wanted him to go home and start getting caught up on things and visit with the kids and I will never forget my husband coming back and telling me his Home Depot story. He had to pick out all the light fixtures for our new house because the electrician needed them asap. He was so worried that I wouldn’t like them, or I would want something else. He told me how stressful it was and I remember looking at him and saying, “I don’t even care, that stuff doesn’t even matter.” I really did feel that way. Those are just things and I had what mattered most, my family. By the way, he did a great job!

When it finally came time for my stitches to come out of my eyes I'll never forget the first time I got up and saw my face. I’m a redhead, and there aren’t many redheads around, so when the nurse helped me up to the mirror all I saw was a very swollen, bruised, cut, very unattractive redhead. I was wondering what had happened to this poor girl? When I looked behind me I realized this poor person was me and right then and there I had a decision to make. I could lose all of Cari or I could lose the exterior Cari. I felt like time stood still and I quickly made the decision that I was Cari and I dint want to lose who I was. Just because my exterior had changed, that didn’t mean the inside needed to too. The funny thing throughout all of this, was the time that I was able to talk to those around me, I found myself joking with the nurses and having a good time. I laid there in bed, I didn't see what I looked like and I didn't know the extent of the damages. I was Cari. I knew things were bad, but I guess I never thought it would affect the way that I looked, it would just all heal back the way it was. I wish that had been the case, but even though it wasn’t, I knew I was still blessed.

I remember going through physical therapy I was required to go up two stairs and then go back down. I did the two stairs and I looked at my therapist and I said, “No I can do more, don't let me get away with just doing two!” He didn’t know who Cari was. I am not one person to let things be easy for me, infact most things in my life weren’t easy! Being a mom isn’t always easy, starting a business is not an easy thing to do both require lots of questions you have to answer, and a lot of things you have to learn. These were things that I, Cari would do, why would I stop now? I had to push myself when I opened up the business and so I learned I could use the same things that I learned in business to help me push through recovery. My doctor was amazed at my progress and I begged him to go home. I missed my kids so much and I was dying to see the progress of our new home. The time finally came when I would get to start phase two of this adventure at home…

The Recent One

2012-11-04T17:34:00.003-07:00

***Pictures at the very end...dont scroll down if you dont want to see!

Well, I never really wrote anything down about my last surgery, so I figured it was time, for memory sake. I didn't have to be to the Hospital until 1, so I had the morning to finish getting things prepared. Once we got there it took awhile until they started. They got me in my gown, took my vitals, talked to the doctor and then I laid their waiting for my operating room to be ready for me. It was nice to talk to the doctor before hand. He answered lots of my questions and at the time said that after this surgery I should be able to do in office procedures on my eyes from here on out. He looked at a stack of pictures of me that he asked me to bring before hand. He said he would keep them and blow them up in the operating room so while they improve everything they can make me look like Cari as much as they can while they are in there. I guess it also helps them to know where more bone is missing.

Bill was with me until they had me go back for surgery. The only problem was they had me on the hospital bed without Bill forever. In fact I was waiting right outside the door of my operating room while they were finishing up with another patient. The anesthesiologist came and talked to me, my doctor came and took pictures of me and drew on my face with a beautiful purple marker and I just laid there until they were ready for me. It was finally my turn and the next thing you know I'm waking up!

The first 3 or 4 days I couldn't see at all. My eye were bandaged up, which I wasnt exactly expecting so I laid there bored, with no tv or anything, well I take that back I did have PAIN! It was really rough. I had strict rules, NO sleeping on my side, NO sleeping with the head turned on the side PLUS I had to be raised up with 3 pillows at all times to help the swelling. The first night seemed like it lasted forever. I was in so much pain and I couldn't even sleep.

The next morning Bill had to run Kyle to school since he still had his broken arm and he told me he would be back in 5! Well those were the worst 5 minutes of my life as a mother. I thought I was going to have a heart attack. It started out seeeming easy, the girls in my room lying by me watching cartoons. Well, that was just how it started. Now, let me remind you I have NO eyesight at this point and Im not even supposed to get up on my own. Ok, so Kyn asks for milk. I say, "Im sorry sweetie, but you will have to wait until dad gets back, I cant get that for you." She starts to cry. Then, the doorbell rings. I tell the girls to stay and let it go. DO NOT MOVE, well that didnt go over very well. Kaylee took off running and I hear her answer the door. Lucky for me it was just fed ex dropping off a pkg. Then she came back and I tell the girls, "You have to stay here, until dad gets back." SO then, Kay takes off and I hear the front door open. I am just about to get down on my knees to track her down, when Bill gets home! After I made sure he knew to never leave me again until I could see, I realized we had survived and at that point was all that mattered.

After being home a few days I unfortunately passed out. Bill had helped me to the bathroom and as I was sitting on the toilet(no need to read further if you dont want the dirty details) and I told him I felt like I was going to pass out. I say that often, so nothing to scary but then he said I followed through with it. He said it was a little weird because I arched my back and then fell towards the back corner. He was worried about my head since I have holes in my skull and very thin spots from my last surgery, so he protected my head. When I woke up I couldn't hear anything and could see Bill yelling at me. Then I heard him yelling, "Cari, Cari" Bill said I was out for about a minute and when I woke up I was laying in a pile of urine and my fingers were sticking straight out, I couldn't bend them for like 15 mins. Bill wanted to get me up in the bath but I couldn't move I was so weak. After about 15 minutes he got me in the bath. I feel so lucky to have someone like Bill taking such good care of me. I think I add a lot of stress to that poor mans life. I wish he didnt have to go through all of this with me.

Once I was able to get the bandages off I slowly started opening my eyes. It was very painful and hard to do, in fact at one point I thought I dont think I am ever going to be able to open these eyes again! I still had to sleep raised up and not turn my head for 2.5 weeks! That made sleeping really hard. Im not a back sleeper! This surgery was harder in certain ways and easier in others. I felt like i had more energy overall than the last ones, I wanted to get up, more than I even could. The hardest part ofcourse was the pain.

I met with my doctor and learned a lot about what they did in the operating room. I had 8 visible incisions around my eyes on my face. They hide them well, in my eyebrow...eyelid etc. I also learned that the big incisions were inside my eye where they lifted the eyelid and cut inside so they were able to transplant fake bone. They usually use skull bone, but I have no more to give after my last surgery so they used a synthetic bone. They say it looks just like bone. They used that to reconstruct my orbital sockets and build up the eyes. They also made an incision in my belly button where they removed a tiny (and I say tiny because I wonder if they even took any)bit of fat to inject around the eyes, to give them a pillow to lay on. They say that the body will absorb some of the fat and I will be honest, I can see that already! They say that everyone body deals with it differently.

After meeting with the doctor it sounds like they will have to go in and do this again. My right eye is very recessed still. They can only bring it out so much at a time without risking snapping a nerve and making me blind. I guess we will see what happens. I meet with him again around Christmas and then 2 months following, so if Im lucky I wont have surgery again otherwise its looking like March!

I look in the mirror now and wonder what I should even look like. I have had so many different faces over the last 4 years. I do think I am looking a little more like myself. I love peoples honesty, because it confirms my beliefs. I hate it when people say I look great and I know otherwise. If they said, "You look great considering", then I like that but without the considering I feel like they are just trying to make me feel better. A friend of mine said it best(and she didnt know me before the accident). She said, now looking back and seeing you now, your face looked unstable. This last surgery makes you seem more solid." Perfectly stated. Inside my face I have been missing BONE, how can I look stable without it, in fact I wasnt. All of these surgeries are protecting me long term, along with many other things they are to do, but I am grateful that hopefully someday I will be able to play ball with my kids again.

Here are some pictures, if you want to look!

The old Cari! Before Surgery!

Way overdue birthday posts

2012-10-14T20:31:00.001-06:00

Sadly, I have missed blogging ALL of my kids birthdays. I figure, while Im down and cant do much I will try and catch up a bit and enjoy focusing on the times I was able to spend and play with my kiddos. So, here it goes...Kay's 3rd Ky's 9th Kyn's 2nd and Ry's 7th

She wanted muffins and yogurt for breakfast!

Raqpunzel Birthday Cake(missing the Rapunzel doll)

Love my little girl. We had fun taking pictures as we tucked her in bed!

Ky's Bday. He got the option of mom making him a birthday cake or getting a babysitter for the girls and playing all day with mom and dad! He chose to play! I love it when we spend birthdays like that!

Rock climbing with my boys...it was moms first time!

Harry Potter, just like he wanted.

Slightly excited!

Lucky Boy

Ryan had lots of birthday celebrations! We celebrated on the 24th at Grandmas house, then we spent his birthday camping with friends PLUS he had a friends birthday party! I think by the end of this week, mom was pretty partied out, and by the looks of dad on this couch, I think he was too!

Ryan picked ANGRY BIRDS theme for his friends party! We decorated our own angry bird balloons, played games and I think the highlight was definitely our own LIVE version of the game.

KYN's is 2!!! Her Birthday was techinically 5 days before Ry's BUT since I uploaded them ion the wrong order we are just going with it!

Loves from Daddy!

It's my party and Ill cry if I want to! Thanks a lot to me, Kyn's got in trouble! 2nd bday in a row she got into the finger nail polish. I wasn't too happy when it got all over her new dress and newly painted toes, not to mention the bathroom rug! I didn't even have to get mad at her though, I just pointed out the fact that she got it all over her new dress(bad idea on my part) and then the tears began to flow. She is my sensitive little girl! I felt so bad for her after that!

When our kids turn 2 that means they get to sleep in a big bed! Kay was so excited to have a roommate and Kyn was pretty excited too! She did awesome! Didn't even get out!

I gave Kyn a few options for birthday cakes with pictures from the internet and this is what she picked, although the picture was a purple barbie and she wanted pink, of course!

This wig(Merida, from Brave) I thought would be a hit with the dress up but instead it scared Kyn to death! Kay and Ky kept putting it on and Kyn would hold on to me as tight as she could grip. It has been months later and we have been able to get her to touch it, but she still gets pretty creep-ed out by it.

Love my kids so much. I cant imagine how boring my life would be without them. I feel so blessed to have each one of them. Its crazy to think how each one started out and now where they have come. They were each born with their own individual personalities and gifts and they each have their own special purpose here on earth.

Ky is such a good friend, helper and leader.Ry is growing emotionally and socially this year by leaps and bounds, does everything with perfection. Kay is the extra mom around the house and gives 100% to everything she does and then there is our little Kyn who smiles ALL the time and picks things up so quickly.

Cari Back in Surgery

2012-10-02T15:49:00.001-06:00

Well, here we are again. It is amazing how unprepared you can still feel with all the anticipation that leads up to surgery. This morning started off okay, but very quickly you could tell that the household was not looking forward to what was planned for today. Cari, of course, had more to do than is humanly possible, which starts everything off with expectations that can't possibly be met. The kids got off for school with the only reference point being that mom was going back into surgery.
From everything that we knew about this surgery, this was suppose to be no big deal. The kids were not convinced.
Once the boys were off, the girls got ready while I ran a last minute errand for Cari. When I returned, my father was there and we gave Cari a blessing. I have been pretty anxious but as the day wore on Cari seemed more relaxed.
Now that the important stuff was out of the way, we could get down to business, literally. Cari and I picked up the house, re-worked emails for online shoe partys and sent them out. Cari's mom showed up to graciously watch the kids while we drove to Salt Lake, but by the time we finally left we were behind schedule. The closer we got to Salt Lake, the more uneasy I started to feel. Not that anything was wrong, but the anxiety of, "here we go again" settled in. Cari has been good though trying to put my mind at ease.
So, we arrived about 1:15pm and checked in and waited. Dr. Pattell came in to answer last minutes questions and fill us in on the details of the surgery. The best part for me was to see Cari relax and actually appear excited. (I use the term excited conservatively)
After what seemed like forever, someone finally came to get Cari. It was different this time though, because instead of hooking Cari up to everything, they just walked her away. I snuck in a quick kiss before she was gone. Now here I sit waiting. Hopefully, I will hear how it went soon.

BYU vs Weber

2012-09-08T23:03:00.001-06:00

So, Its been awhile...but that is OK! Maybe, I dont get to post very often, but I do have tons of pictures of memories capturing all the fun we are having. EXCEPT, TODAY! Oops! So, that is why I making a little extra effort to write this down, since I forgot to capture it on film. This is my way of making sure its not forgotten!

Today was Kyle and Ryans 1st Football game in the stadium! Byu vs Weber, we killed them! Anyway, Bill ended up having to work, so I headed out with my boys and Bill meet up with us(the start of the 4th quarter!) My neighbor told me about the shuttle rides from the mall, so we headed over to grab some food. I enjoyed spending some quality time with JUST THE BOYS! I love my girls a ton, but they are younger and do require a lot more assistance and time right now. Where the boys, can sit and eat a meal and have a conversation. It was great to not be interrupted and just hang with them.

We got on the bus and made it to the stadium. We got to our seats and it was HOT! KILLER HOT! It wasnt long before my boys were leaning on me and making me that much hotter!! Kyle started getting a tummy ache and laid down under the bleachers-until a soda from above us came rushing towards him! Luckily he barely got wet! I must admit, I was pretty hot too and was asking myself, why we didnt just watch it in the comfort of our own homes. We decided to get up and get some snacks. That always helps, right? Well, in our case it did! A nice cold drink was perfect to gulp and hold next to our skin to keep us cool. At this point the boys started getting more into the game and enjoying themselves. We really had a good time together. I feel so lucky to have such great kids.

Bill arrived at the beginning of the 4th. Even though we were killing them, we waited til the end to leave. We had a great time spending time together. Lately, we have been making a point to take the boys out together, and it always proves for a good time. We went back to the mall and shopped around and let the boys play some video games in Gamestop, and I got to have some time with just my husband, which is always nice.

Im grateful for the opportunities we have had to do a variety of things as well as doing them as a family. Our lives may be crazy, but Im glad we take time away for the things that matter most.

SCHOOL HAS BEGUN!

2012-08-21T13:42:00.000-06:00

So, last night was back to school night and it went really well. Ryan seems to have a great teacher and he was ever so shy, just like we expected. Luckily, he was smiling the whole time. Kyle is excited for a few of his friends that are in his class, so that always makes it even more fun! Dad gave everyone blessings and then it was off to bed. The boys were in such good moods, they couldnt wait to start school today. After they finally settled down and went to sleep I went down stairs to fill out the paperwork that we collected at back to school night. I got all the forms filled out. One of the questions was...

List your TOP 3 Goals for your child this year.

Here was Bill's response...I would like him to be; Top of his class, Popular, and Teachers Pet! I got a good laugh out of that! Of course, he is already all of these :)

I should have remembered what we actually wrote

I know I have TONS to catch up on, but here are a few snapshots from the first day of school!

Start of summer

2012-06-17T18:21:00.001-06:00

The start of this summer hasn't disappointed! We started it off with a date out shooting with friends. Then off mom went to girls camp, where she was 30 feet away from a moose. Ryan started baseball and proved to us athletically he can pretty much do anything he wants to. We have enjoyed many fun sunny days in the backyard picnicking and playing on the water. Mom accidentally cut the wrong part of kynlees hair, so unfortunately she ended up with a very short new doo. Then to top it off we had fun swimming in a private pool.

Forever

2012-05-27T14:45:00.001-06:00

Yeah, so I just found out I can blog from my phone so I thought I'd try it out. Pretty exciting right? I know I've been really bad lately at blogging. Its crazy how my time fills up so fast.
Here's a little of what we've been up to..

Playing outside(pretty much everyday occcurence!)
Kynlee's little nighbor friend, were having fun playing on the porch together, and lets face it, it was cute!
Being a girl!
Sisters
Uncle Derek was a stud and danced with Kaylee. She kept asking him, and I think it turned out to be the cutest thing of the week! It was sweet and made her SO happy. She loves to dance
My good friend Rachael pampering Kaylee like a princess
Soccer! Season ended on a rough game, but other than that it was great! Kyle made some amazing goals and played some awesome defense and offence. It was so fun to cheer for him. Ryan did great, he always made sure to score a handful of goals each game.
Ready for fun in the sun!

2012-05-09T11:16:00.002-06:00

Just a little something special for all my friends...especially since I have NOT been good at blogging lately!

This weekend we are having an AMAZING SALE you wont want to miss. Get the hottest item out there right now! We have the MINT colored SKINNY jean available for $15 off!!! That's HUGE! Just go to our website www.ShoeParty.com and enter MINT15 as the coupon code and get $15 off your mint jean purchase! If you add more to your cart and order $40 or more after coupon/discount have been applied you can get FREE shipping! When they are gone, they are gone! So don't wait, get yours now while we still have your size! This is available ONLINE ONLY!

Happy Shopping!

ER

2012-04-19T09:16:00.002-06:00

Well, a few things to post about, but first...show some support and check out my husbands blog. I must admit, he is blogging more than I am! This is somthing he has always talked about doing(writting), and Im proud of him for doing it. I think it shows off some of his many talents...writting and teaching! So, here it is...CHECK IT OUT NOW, dont wait...http://www.quotesinaction.com/

Now, on to my stuff. I have felt like there has been one thing after another and I am just trying to hang on and survive! I have the good days and the bad days, but it seems like the goal lately has been to keep my head above water. Im not going to lie, on one hand I am amazed at what I do get done these days, but on the other its never enough. Then, you throw in infections, sick family, etc and it seems almost impossible to survive!

As of late, Sunday to be exact. I went to church and noticed that my right eyelid was bothered anytime I would touch it, it continued through the day. Then the next morning I awoke to a very red and swollen eyelid/eye. My list of things to accomplish that day was a mile long so I was hoping the eye thing would just go away. By afternoon it was getting worse, so I called my amazing Dr Patel's office. Sad news for me was he was out of the office until Wednesday vacationing. So, in the mean time I talked to his nurse Jill who is fantastic. She gave me a few options. Either get someone to drive me up the the U or go to an insta care around me. I told her I would think about it but most likely stay close to home. Its just easier. Lately, one of my biggest complaints is not being able to do things for myself and then in return making it someone elses problem too, because I need help. SO the last thing I wanted to do was call someone to come and watch my kids and then call someone else to drive me up there and take 4 hours out of their busy day and be bored with me at the docs office. ( I have already had a friend have to do that!) So, I figured I would wait it out more, or go to the insta care. By now its late afternoon and Kaylee had a bday party to go to, so I headed over to the neighbors to drop her off.

While I was dropping her off her dad(a pediatrician), took a look at me and told me I needed to get my eye taken care of ASAP, and not wait any longer. He told me what he though it was and said it can be very serious. After that, I thought I should probably go in. So, with Kynlee in tow I headed out to the instacare. We got there and the doctor was not super impressive. He didnt know what i had and he was looking it up on his phone. He mentioned the one my neighbor had said but then he couldnt get past the fact that my eyelashes were partially red/blonde and the other part black, so he was thinking the red/blonde were crustys in my eye? I dont know it was weird. I tried to explain to him that my good friend died them black before surgery, so maybe it was the eyelashes growing out! I dont know! Anyway, he prescribed me eye drop antibiotics and sent me on my way with instructions telling me that it would probably NOT be better by the morning and if not then I would need to go to the ER and get IV antibiotics.

I left not feeling very confident in his diagnosis, because he was unclear from his own diagnosis. So, I decided to just head over to the ER. I was so glad that I did. They told me that I had PERIORBITAL CELLULITIS. Which is serious, can get in the blood stream/cause meningitis/loss of eye sight/etc. Then on top of that with all my recent surgeries it became even more important. SO, they put me on a very aggressive course of antibiotics internally and with drops. I cant remember what all the drugs were for, but they are obviously helping because 5 days later and there is very little swelling remaining. I get so used to being in so much pain, that it was actually nice to feel the difference in the relief once the meds started to take their course. This has caused more head pain, right above that eye, but I am on the mend!

I just have to keep remninding myself, Come what may and LOVE it!

Another busy week!

2012-04-08T14:59:00.004-06:00

No matter how hard I try for some reason I can never get time to slow down! This week proved to be the same! It seemed like I could never get done all the things necessary. Its hard being in the middle of getting back to normal and recovering at the same time. It will be 8 weeks tomorrow since I had my last surgery and yet as good and long as that sounds, its still a challenge to accomplish the simple daily tasks, then you add on that doctor appointments and children and it creates a whole new ball game!

This week has definitely had its highs and lows. First of all, I don't have time for all of these doctor appointments, but apparently I dont really have a choice. These always seem to take forever and require extra help from my family and amazing neighbors, I cant wait until I am done with doctor appointments. This week had a few. My chiro/massage appointment, which is probably my favorite. This week the highlights are continually working on my jaw in hopes that someday I will be able to open it wider again! They are also working on the blood circulation which helps with bone growth. I also met up at the Moran Eye Center with my Occioplastic doctor. I really like my doctors. They are very intelligent and do amazing work. When I met with Dr. Patel we discussed my eyes and how they are progressing from surgery. My vision is like 20/50 right now(not good), plus my on again and off again double vision. The doctor told me that he met with Dr. Siddiqi about 5 weeks after my surgery and they spent 2 hours discussing my case! They have really spent a lot of time on my behalf and I really appreciate that! He gave me eye excersizes to do, which are very difficult for me. It hurts and gives me a mega headache. I am supposed to do 4 sets 3 times a day. I wish I could say I have been on top of my game, but Im not going to lie, its really difficult to do them. Not only does it hurt, but being a mom is busy and I will start doing my excersizes and whithout fail I get interrupted...I need to go potty, or so-in-so is hitting me, or I need a drink! Then I stop taking care of me and go back to being a mom. Which in all honesty is what i prefer! I also have to increase my eye medication and meet back with him in 2 months. The doctors are all waiting for swelling to continue to go down. Depending on how quickly they believe its happening with depend on how soon the next surgery is. Most likely it will be 4 more months.

As for the rest of the week, my plan was to get a nap at least 3 times this week. I figured that would have to be good enough for the doctors considering I have 4 kids! HOWEVER, I didnt even get one( I should probably be sleeping now!). Life is just busy. I know people are probably saying, "That's your own fault, make things a priority..ya ya ya". WELL, I really am doing the best I can, so I guess that is as good as its going to get. I have had young womens, busy husband at work this week, company and the usual mom stuff...homework, practice piano, reading, sports, laundry, house cleaning, meals, etc but on top of that we have had the not so normal stuff like- Kaylee breaking out in a allergic reaction, as well as cutting her hair, which then required a new haircut. All of which took more time. You see then my poor neighbor had to drive me around to solve these problems. Some days I can drive short distances(that's about all my eyes can handle), but other days the vision thing is really frustrating because I cant see much of anything with my double blurry vision. So, I that's a day by day thing. I cant wait for that to change because it gives me much more freedom.

Anyway, I could ramble on and on, I guess at this point I should just be glad I survived yet another week! Writing all this down helps me feel better about myself when Im ready for bed at 8! For me, that is just NOT normal! The doctor did tell me I will be exhausted at about 2pm each day for the next 6 months! Perfect! Just in time for another surgery!!!

The lightning wasn't so great but you can see on her left side she cut it pretty high up! She had one cut across by her cheek and then another cut angled down(luckily) which fit pretty good with the bob! She also cut some on the other side, but Ali our hair girl did a great job hiding it all!

Doctor Update

2012-03-13T21:49:00.002-06:00

Im really tired right now because its been a long day, but I thought I would give you a quick update. I met with my doctors today and overall things seem to be going good.

-biggest problem is that my left eye doesn't close all the way and they don't want my eye to get infected...can lead to serious vision problems, so I will start using certain meds on it and that is now priority to my next surgery, which will be incisions under the eye...but still 3-6 months out. They have talked about inserting a weight in my eyelid.

-They want me to meet with my eye doctor by next week and then again a few months later as we get closer to a surgery date.

-the original idea of another surgery 3-6 months out is being postponed...do the eyes first, and then after evaluation of my progress and after swelling goes down re-evaluate. looks like it will be more like 6 months to a year.

-I have been given clearance to hold my girls again! YES!!!!

-I need to do daily things to my incisions, especially under my eyes.

-NO rough housing/playing with kids that could be harmful...NO throwing balls, sports etc. They will reevaluate that in 3 months. I can start walking and getting stronger and then start running when it feels ready( I asked about that one, because this warm weather is really going to make me want to run)...I have to be smart and listen to my body.

-They believe my bones in my skull that were cut and grafted are starting to take hold to my skull. They felt my head and can feel the weak points still, but feel confident its headed in the right direction. Still have to be very careful with my head

-they are not quite sure why I still cant open my mouth very wide(want to wait a little and see if it gets better) also see an orthodontist to help stop my grinding teeth

-They said I need to still listen to my body because when its tired its tired because it is still rebuilding bone, blood, skin, etc. BUT its good to push me a little more each day to keep getting stronger.

*****BIGGEST NEWS...Let me know if you want to see some of my pictures they took of me while I was in surgery. There are a few of me intubated right before surgery, then some with my head cut open with the plates in my head and then some after they transplanted my bone(you can also see where my bone in my skull was cut and the second layer replaced) and then one right after I was stitched up. If a lot of people want to see them, then MAYBE I will put them up here, but it is kinda bloody so I dont really know if I should. Some of my kids wanted to see them and they did pretty good with it. It is pretty cool to see it.

So overall it was pretty good. Thanks to all of those who helped with the kids while we were up there. We have never had to wait so long, but they were really behind schedule today. It was a good thing we had the IPAD to entertain us while we waited forever! We did spend a lot of time with the 3 docs though, so it was good. They made sure to remind me that this was a HUGE surgery and that it is completely normal to be exhausted and need to rest, but to me I am ready to start moving on and enjoying my family more again. I just cant wait for the day I can drive again!

A favor

2012-03-11T11:43:00.005-06:00

Okay, so Im asking a little favor and I in return will try to blog a little bit better on how things are going around here...which there should be more to talk about soon with doctors apts this week and other changes happening. SO heres the deal...Please go and vote for my daughters(in a cutie contest) and then I will in return update you more! Fair, right??? Okay, maybe not, but if you could still go vote for them I would really appreciate it.

There have been a lot of votes already, but you see there was a mistake on my part, because I cant read well and it hurts me to read on the computer, I read enough of the instructions that said to like the picture, but what I missed(thanks to a few for pointing it out to me) you also have to "like" Utah Valley Magazine!

So here is the facebook link to their page http://www.facebook.com/uvmag then if you scroll down there are 3 different categories. One of my girls is in the second set http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150678489854905.412915.327317419904&type=1 and this is her picture
and here is my other daughter in the 3rd category
http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150678479549905.412909.327317419904&type=1

I think you have to copy and paste these for it to work!
http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150678479549905.412909.327317419904&type=1

www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150678479549905.412909.327317419904&type=1

So use these links to get you there and click "like" on the girls picture and then make sure you "like" Utah Valley Magazine! Click, two likes and your done! Thanks!!!!

Thank you thank you! The winners will be featured in the magazine and then they also get a gift certificate to boondocks! Right now with everything the kids have been dealing with I know they would love a fun day out with dad so it would be the perfect prize to win for us right now!

Back to Work

2012-03-03T15:01:00.001-07:00

So, I have been back to work for a week now. It was like I never even left. There was not a shortage of things to do, and the meetings continued. This week became a testing period as my sister-in-law finished up her trip to Utah. Lindsey was a huge help and made the time in the hospital and at home less stressful. I was able to focus on taking care of Cari, and the kids when they needed a little bit of special attention. I enjoyed seeing my youngest boy excited to come home from school. Usually the first question out of his mouth has been, "Dad, can you play a game with me?" That is a side of being a dad that I don't feel like I can enjoy all the time. So, it was nice.

As we were preparing for my return to work, Cari was adamant about getting some things done. Even I cannot convince Cari, after surgery, to slow down. I snapped some pictures of Cari as she insisted on finishing up some business stuff, down in our basement.

This week had some positives, Cari felt like she was more energetic (slightly) and so she spent some time out of her bed. We had some visitors over the last week. I appreciated those that tried to keep Cari in a healing frame of mind, but I fear that she did not listen too much.

We had more acts of service that at times is hard for us to accept, but I want to thank all those that have selflessly given of their time to prepare meals, visitwith Cari, and even those that came out of their warm homes to shovel my walk while I was busy making sure kids were dressed and ready for school. Of course, this is the only week that we have needed to shovel snow all winter long, so thank you!

As we look forward to the coming week, we hope that more of Cari's lost energy will return. I am sure that the swelling will continue to subside as it has been the case this week. There is even talk of returning to a more normal schedule, but then moments like today, when I notice that Cari is out of breath after she has been walking around the house for a few minutes, make me believe that is not a good idea.

Time will tell, but the recovery is going well and the swelling is noticeably different.

getting there...

2012-02-26T21:59:00.002-07:00

Well, after Bill has been taking care of my blog, Im afraid noone will want to read this. From what I heard, it was pretty good! I just needed to write down a few of my feelings tonight, even though Im exhausted I feel like this is something I need to remember. I think we see blessings in our life all the time, they are just easy to forget and as rough as today was for me, I felt blessed and figured I better write it down.

My kids spent the weekend with my mom in Fairview, riding horses and playing in the snow, while Bill and I enjoyed a peaceful, quiet house. Yet while it was so quiet I had a lot of time to sit back and think...Today was just rough for me. For those of you that know me, my personality is one of those that could be explained as crazy, bubbly, over enthusiastic, social, busy body, workaholic(to name a few). If you think of all of those explanations and then think of me sitting in a bed all day, they just dont jibe! Its hard lying here in pain, when I would much rather be up and about playing and working. I think I might just have a small case of the blues. I know a lot of my swelling is going down, but I still look at myself in the mirror and get discouraged. I cant move my eyebrows and my face feels so weird. First of all, Im not used to having bone in my face anymore, so its taking a little adjusting too. The eyebrow thing scares me. I have always been one of those people that said, I would never want plastic surgery because it makes people look fake. They have no REAL expressions when they talk because NOTHING moves. Currently, I feel like one of those situations. Hopefully that will change as swelling continues to go down. My face feels all tingly and swollen(you know like after you are at the dentist). Anyway, I just felt down. I must admit other than feeling horrible in the hospital I have been doing pretty good until today. You have to have some bad to appreciate the good, right?

Anyway, so this is where the story gets good. I had the thought today that the prayers must have stopped in my behalf since Im having a break down. I know, I didnt even like my attitude with that thought (Dont worry, I will repent). So, here I am feeling sorry for myself and wishing i was better already. Then Bill starts getting some messages from friends that want to come and visit. Before I knew it my entire afternoon-evening was filled up with visitors(the most so far). Granted I was EXHAUSTED and tried to seem fine, but I did that because that was exactly what I needed. At the end of the night one of my friends told me she didnt know why she came, she just felt inspired. What a blessing she was! She was inspired along with everyone else and brought me exactly what I needed. I feel so blessed. One thing lately that I have really felt is the power of prayer in my life. I cant tell you how much my testimony has grown in that category. I have witnessed it in my own life and even in another little family that I dont even know, but follow their blog that I love to read. Prayer is real, and I feel so blessed to have that knowledge. So, here I am partially repenting for my bad and ungrateful attitude today when in reality I have nothing to complain about.
I will keep going and keep improving and a year from now I will be able to look back and say, "I did that, I made it through that, and I learned from it. These experiences are making me who I am today!"

Cari

Progress

2012-02-22T21:25:00.001-07:00

So, it has been a few days since we have been home from the hospital. After the apprehension that was very apparent, we have at least settled into a routine at home.

When we first got home, we showed up about 5 minutes too soon. Our children were heading to Chucky Cheese, to give Cari some time to settle in, but they had not quite left yet. So, of course, after not seeing Cari or I for nearly a week, the kids were anxious to see their mom. We put a hat on Cari and hoped for the best. We expected the girls to have a hard time, but it was the boys that had the hardest time. The boys mustered enough courage to offer a hug and then backed up. The girls were stand offish, but then were clingy to mom. The biggest surprise came later that night when they saw Cari without her hat, the boys complained about feeling dizzy, so we called it a night for them, but the girls became clingy to dad. It wasn't until Kaylee pointed out the fact that she could see the scar that we realized that Cari wasn't wearing the hat any longer, and that seeing her now was different. Eventually that night the girls warmed up, but it wasn't until day 2 that the boys pushed past the changes.

The first two days were the roughest, I actually slept in my own bed, as well as Cari. Cari had some adjustments to make also, as is true to form. Cari woke me up on the first morning after coming from the hospital... from the floor. Her reasoning was that she could not wake me up, but she had no problem doing it from across the room, when she didn't have the strength to make it back to bed. I did wake up, with a heart attack, and unable to comprehend the thinking behind the actions. This is Cari though, thinking that she is helping by not bothering somebody else, even me.

After, this rude awakening, things seemed to settle down to more of an even keel. Cari stayed in bed until someone was around to help her get around. We have started to see some of her energy and strength return, which has been nice.

The biggest and most notable difference has been the swelling that has started to subside. Each day there is noticeable improvement. Cari is still waiting for enough of the swelling to go down so that she can see the new mobility in her face. It is kind of the joke around here as time passes, because when Cari smiles, her mouth smiles, but her eyes, cheeks and forehead stay put. We are looking forward to the day when she can raise her eyebrows.

Thank you, to everyone that has offered help, support, and kind words through this time. Things are quickly improving and we are well on our way back to the way things were before, but for Cari will have things a little "smoother."