The Gremlin

And We're Back! (But Not Here)

2011-11-20T17:47:00.000-08:00

As I have decided to move off Google for, well, everything, the saga of the Gremlin has continued over at my wordpress site

See you there!

No New Updates Until New Domain

2011-08-28T21:55:00.000-07:00

Google, in their infinite wisdom, has decided posts like the below are dangerous (He will destroy you, and Google took him seriously).

While I appreciate them facilitating the platform to get the stories of the Gremlin to this point, I find their current standing and communication on the issue absurd.

As such, I am moving to a private domain, at which time there will be updates concerning the MOTG losing the Pickle (but not really), the Gremlin's first real camping trip, and several wisdoms the Gremlin has shared with us over the past few days.

My last post here will be the new URL, at which time the archives will be removed from Google's purview, and added to the new domain.

Until then I am taking suggestions on the new domain name. So drop a comment, send an email (adjthegremlin@yahoo.com) and let me know what I should include in the new site, or even leave out!

Update - I have set up an alternate cache of this site at adjthegremlin.wordpress.com and will maintain that archive, I'm not too thrilled about driving traffic towards Google at the moment...

Pickle Picture Posting

2011-08-13T09:16:00.000-07:00

New onesie, courtesy of his uncle.

Language Barriers Redux

2011-08-08T22:20:00.000-07:00

The Gremlin has had his share of cross-cultural encounters, however throughout his travels he had never left anyone baffled - at least until a few weeks ago.

While the Gremlin was on the Best Vacation Ever, he found that he highly enjoyed traveling on the elevator and pushing the buttons for the other people staying in the hotel.

Since then, he has been adamant about pushing both the buttons to call the elevator and then again to go to a specific floor. This is usually received with mild amusement when it's noticed at all. When it isn't noticed and the Gremlin gets upset, he's usually able to push the buttons once he gets inside the elevator.

One fateful trip to Target, however, there was a well-dressed Korean family that either had few or no English-speaking members present at the time. They beat the Gremlin to the 'push' and called the elevator. The Gremlin began his regular wail and stomp, but calmed down after he was assured he would be able to push the button for the floor.

The Koreans, however, were oblivious, and discussing amongst themselves. The double-wide elevator came, and the Korean family stepped forward as they were in front just as the Gremlin ran inside. Unfortunately, they were still closer to the buttons than he was and managed to push the button for the floor faster than he did.

This caused the pent-up meltdown to burst forth, and the Gremlin began yelling. The unfortunate mother of the family who had pushed the button was horrified, as the Gremlin ran up after her to push the button again, and then yell more.

We have been working with him to 'use his words' more and more, yet this seemed to be the one case that the Gremlin explaining to the woman why he was upset did not help anything. The Koreans began speaking in very hushed tones that grew more and more agitated. Meanwhile, the lack of response was only upsetting the Gremlin more, and he was now screaming.

The situation got so out of control that the Mother of the Gremlin decided to remove the Gremlin from the situation. She ushered him off the elevator, and the distraught family - confused from all the yelling - followed. Once the elevators had closed, the family had decided to try again, and did the unthinkable sin.

They pushed the button again.

The doors re-opened to the Gremlin in full-on tantrum mode, screaming hysterically at the doors and elevator call button.

Amidst much hushed conversation, the Korean family decided to take the stairs.

Favorite Toy of the Week: Lego Space Police

The Gremlin reading to his Brother

The Best Day Ever

2011-07-27T21:49:00.000-07:00

The Gremlin's description of tonight (as told to he Mother of the Gremlin):

It was the best day ever! First daddy took me to the Troll, and then we walked down to Cold Stone. My ice cream was melting but I ate it, then we played at the troll again and came home!

What actually happened:

We parked by the Fremont Troll and headed down to Cold Stone. Everything started out fine - the Gremlin ordered his Chocolate Devotion, I purchased a Chocolate-Heath Bar for the Mother of the Gremlin, as well as a Sweet Cream and Twix for myself.

The trouble started when the Gremlin, who had ordered first, had his first accident - dropping a chocolate, fudge covered ball of ice cream down the front of his shirt. Normally, cleaning this up would remind me that I need to bring a large amount of napkins with me. This time, it did. Unfortunately, when I pulled out the napkin to clean off the Gremlin, the front popped off the napkin holder and napkins fell everywhere. While attempting to put the napkin holder back together it slipped my mind to put any in my pocket.

So after two blocks the melting chocolate made the Gremlin reconsider, and he requested I carry it until we were able to clean our hands off. Unfortunately, this led to my hands being covered in chocolate ice cream as well. When I attempted to clean them off, I may have also happened to lick a bit of the Gremlin's ice cream cup as well. After the initial yelling, the Gremlin yelled a bit more and began complaining about me eating "all of it" as apparently the stuff melting down the sides is so valuable that it is worth twice as much as the inside.

Even after I stopped licking the small child's ice cream, it only primed him - the Gremlin was only another half-block before he realized the drippings down the sides were caused by the ice cream melting. This caused a new round of yelling to occur - this one so bad that it brought half the congregation of the Fremont Baptist Church out on the balcony to see what was going on. Once the Gremlin had established that he was, in fact, the center of attention, he began calming down and giving chocolaty waves.

Once we reached the Troll again, we sat down and began to enjoy our ice cream. We were sitting in the beautiful Seattle afternoon when the Gremlin hopped down off the seat. And continued hopping.

"I have to pee. REALLY REALLY BAD!" Of course this would happen when I had three ice creams to hold as well as sticky fingers (in addition to the Gremlin's chocolate covered hands).

"Okay, bud, can you hold it until we get home?" The Gremlin stopped hopping and held his hand up. Suddenly his eyes grew.

"No! NO I CAN'T!" So without a Starbuck's in sight we had to find a bathroom. In true Fremont fashion, we decided on the bushes out of the way of the roads. We climbed just out of sight of the Troll, and the Gremlin began doing his business. It was only then I was able to look around and realize

I was downhill of said business and
There was one of Fremont's own domestically challenged sitting three feet away from the Gremlin, covered in leaves, staring at the 4 year-old's business-end

After we realized the Gremlin was urinating on a bum, we re-pointed him - not in any small part due to the 'stranger staring at the little kid's junk' thing. As soon as that was complete, we both set quickly down the hill. There was a distinct possibility I was moving slightly more quickly than the Gremlin, as when I heard the next shriek I was already in sight of our car.

When I was finally able to return to the Gremlin, I found him mourning his spoon which had fallen out of his cup and was now laying in the dirt. Between the wails I convinced the Gremlin to finally head home.

It always seems to surprise people that this is a normal day with the Gremlin - just like his interaction with the baby-feeding woman at the beach, or the encounter with the Koreans in the elevator at Target.

Favorite Toy of the Week: Stringer

Always Check Your Sources (And Pickle Update)

2011-07-13T11:47:00.000-07:00

"Mumma, you know how daddy write stories about me on the computer and makes money?"

"Ummmm, yeah..."

"Can you read them to me?"

"Why, buddy?"

"Because I want to check it."

Thanks, Shelby, for telling him I have AdSense set up on this blog. He is now wanting some form of profit sharing...

Pickle Picture Posting:

Sorry for the alliteration, I couldn't help it

Now Stay Away Redux

2011-07-09T19:13:00.000-07:00

The Gremlin has decided that his signs were so effective (as his brother hasn't touched ANY of his toys yet...) that a disagreement he and I had today resulted in:

That's right, four new signs!

I should probably highlight the disagreement, first. For the first time since Pickle came to be with us, the Gremlin & Co. went to the grocery store. The haul was more than the Gremlin could ever imagine - ice cream sandwiches, fruit snacks, and more!

One of the things was a bottle of Vitamin Water (which the Gremlin was already accustomed to), purchased by the Mother of the Gremlin, who later realized that it was not her favorite flavor, but mine. She graciously gave it to me, and while she was napping with Pickle, I decided to share it with the Gremlin.

I should have realized from the signs made for Pickle that it wasn't going to work out, but between the sips I was taking and the cheek-busting mouthfuls the Gremlin was taking, the Vitamin water quickly disappeared. Unfortunately, I didn't realize this because I was doing the dishes.

I finally caught on, and snagged the bottle. The Gremlin saw there was one sip left, and he grabbed the bottle. I didn't want to emphasize that the strongest person wins, as that just sets up future confrontations, so I let go.

"Please do not drink the rest of my water." The Gremlin looked at me, and downed the last of it.

I was feeling rather petty at the time, so I turned to the freezer, pulled out a fudgecicle, and began eating it in front of the Gremlin. His eyes got wide.

"May I please have a fudgecicle?" The Gremlin asked, now on his best behavior.

"No. You did not listen to me when I asked you to not drink the rest of MY water that I was sharing with you, so I don't feel like sharing my fudgcicles with you." I sat down at the table and finished it off.

The Gremlin sat for a minute, and then promptly hopped off his chair, grabbed his markers, and headed for the scrap paper. By the time I was done, he was ready.

"Daddy, may I please have the tape?" I cut him off a few pieces, and went to go fix the MOTG's computer.

When I returned, I was walked through the following:

No eating fudgecicles

Followed by:

No eating ice cream sandwiches

Which was followed by the much more levelheaded:

No fighting over Vitamin Water

However, is superseded by:

No asking the Gremlin not to drink the last of the Vitamin Water

Introducing: The Pickle (Now Stay Away!)

2011-07-07T22:03:00.000-07:00

This week the Gremlin was forced to welcome a new addition to our family - the Pickle.

Pickle

The Gremlin responded well initially, however we believe that to be due to the fact that Pickle brought him the Bionicle he wanted.

Unfortunately, I mentioned to him that Pickle would soon want to do, and play with, everything the Gremlin liked. This caused a great amount of consternation, until the Gremlin figured upon a solution he had used with me.

At the Coolest Birthday Party Ever, the Gremlin received a set of magnets that were sold as noisemakers. I, personally, always enjoyed lab science classes and attempted to make a rudimentary rail gun with these.

The Gremlin, in classic 4 year-old form, became jealous that was I enjoying his toy more than he was, and wandered up to the Mother of the Gremlin one day while I was out at work.

"Mumma, how do you spell 'don't?'"

"D-O-N-apostrophe-T."

"What's 'postrophe?"

"It's a punctuation symbol." This did not satisfy the Gremlin, however he filed that question in his "stalling trying not to go to sleep so I ask how things work" category.

"D-O-N-T. How do you spell 'touch?'"

"T-O-U-C-H."

Yeah, he'd already spelled 'STOP'

The MOTG and I have found this so hysterical that we have tried very hard (most of the time) to respect this sign, so the Gremlin thought it would work in this case as well, just a few days later.

He asked me about putting signs up in the house, and I informed him that I would be fine with that, as soon as his brother could read. I also clued him in that we weren't entirely sure he was able to read.

The MOTG informed me later the Gremlin told her his feelings were very hurt by that, and so after an apology the following sign is now hanging at the bottom of his door (that's right, the bottom - so that Pickle can read it when he crawls in their room) - 'Please Don't Touch My Toys.'

The Gremlin's handwriting on the right "says the same thing, but in kid"

Favorite Toy of the Week: (aside of Nitroblast) General Grievous Puzzle

Keep Your Friends Close, And Then Hit Them

2011-06-30T08:40:00.000-07:00

The Gremlin at the Museum of Flight's Free Family Fun with Firemen Day

The Gremlin has been in rare form the last few days - driving his parents crazy like never before, so the Mother of the Gremlin jumped at the chance to take him and the Arch-Gremlin to the playground to drive each other crazy.

During a lull in their playing, the Arch-Gremlin turned to the Gremlin and smacked him on the shoulder. The Gremlin didn't miss a beat, and spoke softly.

"Jasp-air, if you do that again I'm going to have to hit you back." The Arch-Gremlin, also four, decided she needed to respond to this.

"If you do that I'll cry and tell my mom." Unlike last time, the Gremlin was one step ahead of her.

"But I'll tell my mom first, so let's just not." This was apparently acceptable to the Arch-Gremlin.

"Okay."

Just a few minutes later, she turned and smacked him again.

"Jasp-air! We just talked about this!"

"I know. I just wanted to see what would happen."

"Okay, but I am getting very frustrated with you."

A short time later they were playing at the water table, when the Gremlin turned and sprayed the Arch-Gremlin in the face. As soon as she recovered, the Gremlin looked over and bounced his curls in innocence.

"What? It was an accident."

"No it wasn't!"

"You're right, it wasn't. But i'm pretty sure it wasn't an accident when you hit me earlier."

"No, it wasn't."

And with that, the two went back to their playing without further incident.

Favorite Toy of the Week: R2D2 Play-Doh Set

The Umbrella Cord

2011-06-21T09:13:00.000-07:00

The Gremlin and his ridiculous mop of hair:

Thanks to bonus programs and credits on our insurance, last week the Gremlin took a class on what to expect as a first-time sibling.

Throughout the class, the Gremlin was most un-Gremlin-like. He sat relatively still (only moving to switch sitting positions), raised his hand and waited to be called on, and contributed answers.

This quiet, respectful behavior lasted only through the class, though, as demonstrated when the Mother of the Gremlin decided to take the little darling to McDonald's as a treat for being so good.

Upon getting in line, a gregarious Seattleite began to strike up a conversation with the Gremlin.

"So are you excited?"

"Yes I'm excited, my mom never takes me to McDonald's!"

"No, are you excited to be a big brother?"

The Gremlin hasn't really grasped the idea that other people can figure things out by looking (similar to how the MOTG knows his room isn't clean at bedtime, or that he ate the chocolate), and was confused.

"How did you know?!"

"Because I can see your mother has a baby in her tummy."

The Gremlin was newly informed on this subject and began laughing.

"No she doesn't!" The man was confused by this.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Oh, but I thought you were going to be a brother."

"I am."

"Then where's the baby if it's not in your mother's belly?"

"It's in her uterus!" The man was impressed at the Gremlin's technical knowledge.

"How did you know that?"

"You should go to the baby class at the hospital. You would learn a lot! I bet you don't even know what an umbrella cord is!"

"You're right, I have no idea."

Random Picture Update: The Gremlin At 'Touch A Truck'

Favorite Toy of the Week: Boba Fett helmet

Equal Opportunity Embarasser

2011-06-07T22:38:00.000-07:00

The Gremlin proved his social prowess once again last night as he went from manipulating one crowd to trying to manipulate another. As active and charitable citizens, the Mother of the Gremlin is a member of the Woodland Park Zoo. She decided to bring the Gremlin out for a special trip to their Member's Night.

The Gremlin was enjoying his evening, partaking in the bouncy house, eating stick after stick of free cotton candy. And it was only when he was slowed by a line for his most favorite event of all - the inflatable obstacle course ending in a slide.

After his fifth time through, he and the MOTG found themselves in line next to a very nice, very well-meaning, but ultimately cataclysmic man in line with his son. After a bit of conversational chatter, he sparked the Gremlin.

"Too bad you're not in labor, then you wouldn't have to wait in line," the nice man's off hand comment made the Gremlin's eyes light up, and he turned towards his mother.

"What's labor?"

"It's when the baby is coming right now, so if you are out somewhere, sometimes you don't have to wait in line." The Gremlin sat quietly digesting this. That scary, quiet, thoughtful look came over his face, and the Gremlin stepped out to look down the length of the line.

He turned back to the MOTG, and there, a few feet out of the line, he screamed as loud as a 4 year-old is able to.

"Everybody my mom's having a baby right now so it's gotta be my turn RIGHT NOW!"

There was the sound of beer snorting through a man's nose as the drink of the gentleman behind them was propelled through his nasal passages by a quick laugh, but other than that a silence settled across the entirety of the Woodland Park zoo.

After the MOTG fended off seven or eight offers to call an ambulance and tried to stand in line as inconspicuously as possible, however the Gremlin was distraught.

"I don't understand why I didn't get to go next..."

Favorite Toy of the Week: Playmobile Pirate Ship

The Blame Game

2011-06-02T16:33:00.000-07:00

The Gremlin headed out today, to terrorize the rest of the families of the city. He and the Arch-Gremlin went out to the art museum to absorb the local culture. The Gremlin took his time moving through the rooms - the Mother of the Gremlin and the Arch-Gremlin's mother were enjoying the scenery slowly as well.

As it frequently occurs in these places, most of the sounds were muted, and silence fell around the Gremlin frequently. Of course, during the quietest of such times, the Gremlin struck.

While looking closer at one of the exhibits, the Gremlin felt his stomach rumble and decided to pass gas. With a clap and squeak the silence was broken, and surprised looks began coming the Gremlin's way.

Completely undeterred, the Gremlin looked at the nearest adult - a man dressed business casually who had probably wandered in over his lunch break - and spoke very loudly.

"Why did you do that? Man that really stinks!" The man's face went from white to cartoon character "exploding head" red in seconds, and he turned tail to another part of the museum. The Mother of the Gremlin waited for the looks to subside and then headed over.

"Buddy, did you blame that man for farting when you did it?"

"You bet I did!"

Favorite Toy of the Week: Lego Bionicle Dropship

Sleepless Outside Seattle

2011-05-25T09:06:00.000-07:00

The Gremlin has grown very attached to "Lickey," the stuffed 101 Dalmatian's Lucky that has been re-named because the Gremlin's "comes alive at night and licks him." On his recent trip to Chicago, the Gremlin left Lickey back in Seattle. This was becoming so traumatic that the Mother of the Gremlin stopped off at the Disney store, just to see if there was one there.

Upon arriving at the store, the Gremlin found only one stuffed dalmatian left. He bolted up to it and shouted.

"Lickey, I can't believe it! You followed me here from Seattle! I have been missing you! I am so happy!" With the stuffed animal under his arm, the Gremlin headed for the door. The MOTG tried to stop him.

"Buddy, we have to pay for that." The Gremlin was perplexed at this idea.

"Are you kidding me?! This is MY dog. I'm not paying for my own dog!" The Gremlin was herded into line with much protest. He continued to complain and grumble, so when they reached the front of the line, the cashier was curious what was going on. After the MOTG explained the situation, the cashier was nice enough to play along. She looked at the Gremlin and tried to help explain.

"Don't worry we are only charging you for his travel expenses." The Gremlin's eyes lit up with understanding.

"Oh, a plane ticket, I get it!"

Favorite Toy of the Week: Lego Bionicle

Still Playing Politics with the Easter Bunny

2011-05-18T08:01:00.000-07:00

The Gremlin was at the doctor's office the other day when he saw another mother and child coming into the office. The mother and her newborn were bundled up for the chilly Seattle morning, and the Gremlin noticed something interesting.

"Momma, I think that baby is silly."

"Why do you think that?"

"Because I think it's a silly hat." The Mother of the Gremlin looked over and saw the baby was wearing a bunny hat - white with floppy ears, pastel blue eyes and a pink nose. "I think it's silly to look like the Easter Bunny!"

"Well, it is an Easter hat, buddy," the MOTG informed him. The Gremlin stopped dead in his tracks. He slowly looked up at the mother of the newborn, who was sitting back enjoying this conversation.

"He must have gotten a lot of stuff for Easter!"

"Well, he did get three Easter baskets." The Gremlin, fully charged at this news, turned to the MOTG.

"MOMMA, WHERE DO I GET A HAT LIKE THAT?!"

"Buddy, it's a baby's hat." The Gremlin sighed, relieved.

"That's okay - we're getting a baby."

And a Chicago picture update of the Gremlin in Legoland

Favorite Toy of the Week: Lego Bionicles

Mean Streak

2011-05-09T08:35:00.000-07:00

We've recently found that the Gremlin has gotten significantly better with sharing. He will now share willingly with his friends, and doesn't get upset about the Mother of the Gremlin asking him to share with strange kids (though we usually have to encourage him significantly).

He was being so nice that we were surprised when some rather disturbing imagery bubbled up. The MOTG took the Gremlin over to the doctor's office to get his final boosters. When the nurse entered the room with the needle he started.

"She had better not try to stick me with that or I will stab her in the face!" We were lucky enough to have a seasoned veteran who burst out laughing at the threats of the 4 year-old, however she still tried to talk to him about it.

"Oh, sweetie, it's not going to hurt! It will be really quick and you won't feel it at all."

The Gremlin looked at the MOTG.

"We'll see if it doesn't hurt when she gets stabbed in the face."

Favorite Toy of the Week: Darth Maul Lightsaber

Playing Politics with the Easter Bunny

2011-04-26T09:38:00.000-07:00

So the Gremlin decided to go out on Saturday, and visit a few of the neighborhood easter bunnies.

We arrived at the local community center and he immediately insisted on having his picture taken with the easter bunny. he stood as far away as physically possible, and was not at all pleased about the picture.

He wasn't pleased about the hand on his back either

However once that was completed, he proceeded to continue and enjoy himself - searching for eggs, getting his face painted, and having a 'grand old time.'

Grand Old Time

On the way home, he saw another egg hunt and wanted to stop. There again, he proceeded directly to the easter bunny and demanded another picture - keeping as far away as possible while being able to ensure a photo would occur.

Again, notice the facial expression.

And immediately after, he jumped up and ran off to have fun.

Fun

On the way home, we asked him about the pictures he stated he, "wanted to make sure the easter bunny thinks we're good buddies so he'll bring me lots of stuff tomorrow." He's going to play office politics like a pro - and reap the rewards:

Favorite Toy of the Week: Lego Star Wars Rebel Trooper Battle Pack

Golden Locks of Danger

2011-04-20T08:51:00.000-07:00

Being the incredibly responsible parents we are, the Gremlin visited Krispy Kreme yesterday, and proved once again that I'm going to need to stock up on weapons to defend myself once the Gremlin gets old enough to break hearts.

While the Mother of the Gremlin was getting a half-dozen original glazed, the Gremlin was again, not standing in line but up at the counter in the front. He had seen his kryptonite: chocolate glaze.

One of the younger female workers noticed the Curls of Cuteness and paused at the counter. The Gremlin, pointing and talking about the chocolate glazed donut, paused and looked up.

"Man I love chocolate donuts. You're really pretty!" And he bounced his curls for emphasis.

(emphasis)

We saw the Gremlin walk away from the counter and crawl up into a booth, but having his back to us, we didn't realize he'd manage to score his chocolate glaze until he turned around and we saw the mustache (see profile picture for an idea of what that looks like).

The kid really needs a haircut...

Favorite Toy of the Week: Big Brown Box (due to several unfortunate home repairs, the Gremlin now has a brand new water heater box to play in!)

Why Try?

2011-04-14T21:23:00.000-07:00

"Mumma, what are we having for dinner?"

"Chicken nuggets."

"Oh Mumma, when yours look like dinosaurs, they'll taste like the ones from the store. Until then, don't even try."

Favorite Toy of the Week: Pirate Ship

Trying to Look Like Daddy

2011-04-06T07:02:00.000-07:00

The other day the Gremlin decided he wanted to "look more like Daddy." This was during the course of a normal conversation (if you can have a normal conversation with a 4 year-old), and he didn't bring it up again so we thought it was not anything to think about.

Unfortunately, the mind of a child is still something we're trying to figure out, and a while later, he emerged from his room with pen marks all over his face. Each mark was a small dash, no more than a centimeter in length. All were horizontal and they were grouped mostly around his mouth, but some led back up his jaw to his ear.

The Gremlin had used a pen to draw himself facial hair.

After a short discussion where we encouraged the Gremlin to not write on himself, the Mother of the Gremlin was getting frustrated by the all-encompassing knowledge of the 4 year-old.

"But buddy, I don't even know if that will come off!" The Gremlin had already thought of this, though, and provided another classic view of the world.

"Sure it will, I just have to shave!"

Favorite Toy of the Week: General Grievous action figure

Amounts

2011-03-26T21:44:00.000-07:00

So I realized a few weeks ago that I made a 2010 New Year's Resolution to update this blog on a regular schedule and was going to try for once a week, and it's now 2011. I was feeling a bit burned out, so I'm probably going to roll back to the once a week schedule, but that depends on The Gremlin, and when he decides to surprise us.

(above: the Gremlin sulking because he felt the bus was taking too long)

Which happened the other day - the Gremlin was coloring at the table while the Mother of the Gremlin was making her weekly rounds through the ads delivered in the mail. The Gremlin was watching her, and asked about different notations.

"Mumma, why do you circle those?"

"That's what I'm looking at getting this week - if it's part of a recipe or on sale."

"Why are there numbers there?"

"So that when I go back through with my list I remember and write down how many I want."

Later that day in the store, the Gremlin was insistent on bringing both the MOTG's list and the sale ads. We didn't figure out why until we got to the juice. When the MOTG put one in the cart, the Gremlin cleared his throat.

"Mumma, did you check your list?"

"Yes, buddy, I got apple."

"But how many?" And he pulled out the sale ad where he had scrawled a '5' as only a 4 year-old can. He had also done this with the fruit snacks, most of the fruit, and the flavored water the store sold.

(above: the Gremlin being a Droideka)

Favorite Toy of the Week: General Grevious Action Figure

Wisdom of a 4 Year-Old - On Punishments and Love

2011-03-07T09:28:00.001-08:00

"Momma, why do you put me in timeout?"

"Because we love you."

"Wait, so Daddy loves me more than you?"

Wisdom of a 4 Year-Old - On Spelling and Symbols

2011-02-28T08:21:00.000-08:00

This came after I'd had a few conversations with the Gremlin about 'concepts' and how we assign value to symbols to create language and communication.

"Mom do you know how I'm going to spell my brother's name?"

"How?"

"P-o-o-p."

"What? And what does that spell?!"

"My brother."

"Oh really? Is that what that spells?"

"I don't know, I'm four, I can't spell."

And The Baby Is... (According to the Gremlin)

2011-02-25T08:14:00.000-08:00

"This is the best worst day ever!"

--Upon finding out the sex of his sibling

And his conversation with the ultrasound technician:

"So what's being four like?"

"It's pretty great. You get to wear Transformer pajamas, play with lightsabers, and eat waffles for dinner!"

"What's the worst part about being four?"

"Having a brother or a sister. I didn't have to have one when I was three, and I didn't have to wipe my own butt either! I miss being three."

Wisdom of a 4 Year-Old - On Returning Home

2011-02-21T10:35:00.000-08:00

The Gremlin said this once he found out that I was leaving on a business trip for a week

"But when you come back, are you coming back to this house?"

Good to know the move didn't traumatize him.

Wisdom of a 4 Year-Old - On Tasting Samples

2011-02-14T07:53:00.000-08:00

"Well, what do you think? Do you like it?"

"I'm not sure, I think I need another..."

"Here you go. What do you think now?"

"No, I still can't tell. I need one more."

"Okay, how about now?"

"Mmmmm, I still can't tell, but I think I could if I had one more..."

"Okay, here's a handful."

"Oh awesome, these things are great!"

"So you do like them?"

"Aw man! Yeah.... I guess...."